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#im just tired of never being content
gwyns · 2 months
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I’m not going to link the post, but I will share this theory that an E/riel made (a while ago) about Azriel’s bonus chapter/Solstice/Rosehall.
Here’s what it said:
“So we know for sure last solstice Azriel went to Rosehall. He went to visit his mom apparently. Which makes me think this might be something he always does. After solstice he visits rosehall, visits her. What if that's what happened after solstice? What if after all that Az went to his mom and talked out everything, and maybe His mom said: go grab that damn necklace back, you acted foolishly. And that's why he was pissed three days later? Cause he knew he messed up trying to regift it? And one common thought the ACOTAR fandom has is that who lives in Rosehall could be Az mom. Rhys asks about Rosehall as if is something common, something that Azriel probably does every year maybe? some kind of tradition? What If in ACOSF, after solstice, he went to Rosehall, he visited her. What if after all that happened between him and Elain and Rhys and the necklace, Az went to his mom and she asked him why he was sad (just like Clotho did!) and he told her everything, and maybe his mom said: "you acted foolishly. Now go grab that damn necklace back." Text from Silver Flames : Three days passed with no word from Cassian. He'd been replaced in training by a stone-faced Azriel, who was more aloof than usual and wouldn't even give her a smile. “And that's why he was mad three days later? Cause he knew he messed up trying to regift it? Maybe the necklace is now in Az pocket, hidden this whole time?”
What are your thoughts on this? I hope k don’t come off as rude/disrespectful to the E/riel who came up with this, but this is a theory that I politely disagree with.
alright i'll be real with you, i totally forgot about rosehall and when i did remember it, i legit thought it was part of the spring court 💀
now for my actual opinion on the theory: i mean... sure? i guess i could see what they're going for here?? but it just seems like an awful lot of mental gymnastics to me. like... really? i highly doubt his mom gives one fuck about a necklace he gifted to a woman lol. and why would he try getting it back? he'd have to go to gwyn himself and he was quite adamant about not wanting her to know it came from him
overall y'all (e/riels mostly) need to let that damn necklace go. it was a clear metaphor for az's attentions shifting from one woman to another, like sjm spelled it out for you word for word. crack open some books outside of those dark romance booktok ones you love and actually analyze some text that isn't made for the sole reason of getting people off
a for effort though!
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tuxedo-rabbit · 2 months
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You know, one of the most interesting thing about BG3 to me is that all the different choices and RP moments you can make mean that it's very easy to have a multitude of playthroughs that don't neatly fall into the boxes of "good" or "evil" runs.
The other interesting thing is that whenever Larian talks about their game, it feels like this was a complete accident.
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archirdarchernar · 3 months
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#vent#it feels awful#not knowing what the fuck to do#i WANT like a fucking gluttonous beast#i wanna be good at everything#i wanna be good at art and singing and worldbuilding and writing and editing and animating and academics#and i never feel satisfied#and no ones forcing me to do any of this#i just fucking want to for some reason and its destroying me#i just end up being not good at anything. im shit at studying and sleeping and keeping to deadlines#i want there to be enough time for me to explore everything#for me to learn everything at my own pace and perfect my skills#but it just feels like i have no time for myself anymore#everything i have i must dedicate to studying for a levels and its so tiring. i wanna draw and be creative too but theres so much course#content that its killing me. i want my free time back#and im forever thankful to my parents for moving with me all the way to the uk so i can learn about things that actually interest me but#even that doesnt really mean anything anymore thanks to the standardization of education and especially exams and exam boards#so my parents spent all that effort and money for nothing and i really just want to break down and cry and say sorry#but that would just hurt them even more and even i dont have the heart to do that so im stuck with this and im so goddamn tired#and of course by spreading my attention and efforts so thin everything i do is lackluster so of course my grades are shit#and i get sick often so my attendence record is also shit#it just feels like im a burden for existing like a malignant tumour#and i have to relearn how to cry. imagine that. a grown adult not knowing how to cry#i never knew there was supposed to be emotional relief when crying sometimes because whenever i cry when im overwhelmed...or anytime really#i get told to stop immediately so i got trained to hold everything in.and i get that its easy for the adults to deal with a not-crying child#but i kinda feel cheated#i want that emotional catharsis that comes with crying your feelings out and i have to teach myself how to do it#how pathetic is that#had to get this out there its just too much for me#arc 3am logs
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kohakhearts · 5 months
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well folks its been a good two months of denial but i am finally ready to admit that the reason everything sucks is because of major depression relapse. if i werent so depressed id make this everyone elses problem by projecting it on to blorbo but alas
#taylor.txt#incapable of making this not a joke but i do have to say it kinda sucks#like obviously ive never been 100% free of my depression probably on account of it developing when i was a Child and then not getting any#treatment or even really any sympathy for until i was in my late teens but. BUT. even my historic mental breakdown 2 years ago didnt really#feel like depression. like yeah i was sad and hopeless but this is very different. sad and lethargic more so. simply too tired to be lost i#despair. which is i guess a good thing because it means its easier for me to fix. its just that right now im kinda stuck in it#i dont know if id say ive experienced major depression since my first year of uni#thats why ive been denying it all this time despite it being pretty…glaringly obvious#anyway. good news is im meeting with the prof of one of the classes im currently failing this week#and now i guess i kind of have an idea of what to tell her because all this time ive been struggling and i havent understood why#the content makes sense. i understand whats going on. but my memory has gotten so bad recently and the energy required to do my assignments#has been way too much. and im past my limit on that at this point unfortunately. like yeah shes probably gonna tell me well that sucks but#theres nothing i can do to save your grade and thats fine but at least i know even if it was a Me Problem that i let myself get depressed#again in the first place being actively depressed is a major barrier that i at least know isnt 100% me being an idiot with a bad attitude#i will struggle to the finish line but i will make it there. even if i fail a class or two in the process#and regardless of if it gets better i will finally go see my therapist again in the new year </3 something obviously led to this so whos to#say it wouldnt happen again if i just let that fester. whatever it is#also writing has been tough for the same reason school has been tough but its still happening and i will do more of it when school is over#i PROMMY
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bipolbur · 4 months
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my day is already shit enough what do you mean the response video is finally coming out and keemstar is the one who announced it
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dougbowser · 8 months
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babydarkstar · 8 months
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ohhhhh man people on here will be so willfully ignorant about their biphobia in favor of stupid fucking pseudo labels “how is pan/omnisexuality transphobic and biphobic🥺i dont understand and ive never understood even though i have 5 bisexuals explaining it to me in this comment section and how it’s offensive to them for me to assume they only like cis men and women🥺bi people say they are only attracted to 2 genders so whats the big deal🥺” im literally going to smack you in the mouth with my baseball bat. blocked
#im tired. lmao#genuinely people need to get off this website and develop a personality that isnt their sexuality#like i get that it becomes a huge part of who u are once u accept yourself but it’s like#did you have a personality before. what are your interests. do u have a favorite color that isnt your flag#im a hater.#i will continue to be until ppl realize how much bisexuals are scorned#and honestly it’s upsetting that theyve always been so scorned and shunned and made fun of#that bisexuals feel the need to label themselves as something entirely new#something that means the same exact. EXACT. thing as bi#‘well it’s more comfortable for me to use this’—have you ever thought about why that is.#have you thought about what makes you so uncomfortable about the label? is it because you think you’ll be seen as tr*nsphobic?#or stigmatized as ‘actually being straight’ like others in the community have done for decades?#im so. i just spent all day exercising my brain with schoolwork#i go onto the gay trending tag and one of the first posts is just. hoardes of biphobic content and comments#im just here to have a good time and it gets worse every fucking day on here#you’ll listen to everyone in the fucking alphabet except when bisexuals say youre being oppressive and PHOBIC you gang up on them#and threaten actual violence#also bisexuality is NOT. and never HAS BEEN. attraction to 2 genders. get the fucking prefix assumption out of your tiny fucking head#anyways i love you transppl who stand in solidarity w us. you are the real ones
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orcelito · 1 year
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Done with hiking. I got knee deep in some streams heheh which is my preferred state of being. Between my water shoes and my short shorts I was Fully prepared for this. I also dipped my head under some waterfalls. And my arms. Really it was only my tank top and shorts that I didn't dunk, and even then they got splashed some. I probably wouldve gone full aquatic if I didn't have my phone with me lol
I'll be posting some pictures after I get better reception. I had a lot of fun!
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tiredfoxtf · 2 years
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c!drunz (te hee) and ll!grumbo >:)
C!Drunz
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LL!Grumbo
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To be honest "people who ship them need therapy I think" is applied to both of them, but it's me, I'm the people who need therapy.
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wazzuppy · 2 years
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nintendo: hey! we made another mario strikers game, come check it out!
me: wow cool!!! how much is it?
nintendo: $60 :)
me: oh. f-for a sports game?
nintendo: yeah, but we added lots of cool content with even more on the way!!
me: oh! well i guess that's good! how much is in it?
nintendo: well we've got a whole TEN characters to choose from, and some armor you can give them!
me: ...um. how many stages are there?
nintendo: like four
me:
nintendo: BUT you can combine them!! so its technically more than that!!
me:
me: is there at least a story mode?
nintendo: haha!
me:
nintendo:
me:
nintendo:
nintendo: no :)
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tigercomplex · 2 years
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there is absolutely nothing more soul crushing than going to the spotify page of a band you cherish despite being obscure and long gone and seeing that the fourth result for the “discovered on” section is a 17+ hour fucking anime boy kinnie playlist.
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sunlightfeeling · 12 days
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god i forgot how much i liked that cohost hid a lot of metrics…
(much ranting in the tags…)
#im despising the note counter again….#ramblin but not a gamblin man#but i really REALLY didnt like how cohost completely felt like a void#…​like genuinely felt like an isolation room or smth…#why can’t i just opt out#i have my notifications turned off again for sanity#but I don’t like seeing everyone else’s lol#…​they make me feel bad….#and yeah i guess it has to do with smaller fandom but that’s kind of part of why it sucks#i want new content that’s not just made by the small group that we are#i want fuckin dedicated tags and a line of people making new things….even if the stuff we use is old#there are so many smasmas that have NEVER been giffed#so many dramas#(even though for a lot of these there’s like negative incentive to make anything for….)#but you know what sucks the most….#no matter how much we love the stuff and do it because we like it….we are hoping that it will get shared….be known….#im trying so hard not to pressure myself to gif every little thing#which is part of why im posting more and more clips#but it hurts seeing the note count that other fandoms get even in such a short time….and just being grateful-enjoying the ones i receive#i don’t know how much this shit makes sense#and im honestly so tired of getting upset by this time and time again but it hurts#i hate being part of an actually small fandom lol#..​that’s basically it….i guess#or one that’s small until someone random reblogs it and shoots the note count up#and I really can’t explain why that makes me more upset than happy but it actually really does lol#how many times am i going to talk about these and go in circles? way too many#i ruminate….its what i do…always been that way…got on my ex’s fuckin nerves lmfao……
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risaonda · 1 year
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gets home from work starts looking into applying for boring office jobs
#venus ambassador give us a post#im like really actually at my limit i havent been this close to quitting my job on the spot since i quit my job on the spot (2020) LOL#then they changed what i was doing to keep me there. at this point now i dont think there Is anything that could make me stay#if i end up getting in somewhere else. im so sick of Everything going on at my store#amazed this is what pushes me to my limit but i dont think anything theres been quite as soul crushing 2 me as like#the complete overhaul of this process (that they spent a quarter of a million dollars on. paying someone to come up with this idea)#and enforcing it so aggressively even though it makes Literally No God Damn Fucking Sense#designed by someone who has never been a part of nor even so much as Watched a truck be done so has no idea what works and doesn't#the final straw for me is they have a specific order for how im supposed to have the clothing racks arranged#i cant set them up in a way that actually makes any sense because corporate wants it to be a Specific Way#and if we dont do it the Specific Way we get punished for it. im so tired#the actual final straw for me is hearing what the dm has said abt me but LOL thats a whole other issue#but like okay fine as long as im still there yall dont care i dont care. real shame it all comes up now when we have inventory soon#because im Not wasting my time anymore trying to fix anything that so desperately needs it. im done#sorry maybe it's just me but i am not and can not be content doing a horrendous job and being encouraged to do so#while also being made to feel bad that everything is bad and wrong after being encouraged to leave everything bad and wrong. im done!!!!#im doing less than the bare minimum and the higher ups are mad that im not doing even less than that :/
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nouveauxromantics · 1 year
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last weekend was the most fun i’ve had in so long i wish my friend was always here i love her so much why does she have to be 4 hours away 😭
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nyancrimew · 5 months
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feverish ramble about tiktok and social media politics, probably not super well phrased so dont be too nitpicky about shit i said, but ive been meaning to put this into words for a while
i do think its kind of interesting (read: concerning) how tiktok is like the one social media site where everyone all across the political spectrum is so quick to somehow blame the company for opinions people have on the app, like there is massive groups of people having weird fringe shit opinions on tumblr and there is never really any calls to shut tumblr down over it. and even with youtube there is this certain nuance where people blame youtube for how it recommends right wing content so readily, but do not equate that with youtube being in on some sinister US government conspiracy or whatever, but when tiktoks (fairly neutral and overall not much more sinister*) recommendation system pushes fringe content to people (who usually interacted with similar content before) it immediately becomes a whole conspiracy theory about how china is trying to do x or y and how they are definitely doing this on purpose. rather than it being the same bad recommender as youtube which pushes divisive content as it creates engagement. like to be clear this isn't a defense of content any recommendation systems push, and they definitely need to be made more robust to prevent artificial polarization, but when it comes to actual suppression of content all social media sites do that sometimes (it's not like the US government never requests and does shit like that either lol, like try posting a link to ddosecrets.com on twitter, good luck) and im just tired of seeing misinformed blatantly sinophobic takes about tiktok from all across the political spectrum, like no forcing tiktok to be an american company instead wont change shit, if they do censor it would then just be at the whims of the US which is what they really want. * basically it comes down to the shorter form content making it way easier to forget about anything that shows up on your feed that you arent actually interested in as you just swipe it away, studies have shown no significant difference in youtube and tiktok recommenders
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