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capfalcon · 4 years

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top 5 f i c s

all my top 5 fics r for inception but like um in terms of marvel (i havent read marvel fic in a while ok this is hazy)

also i kind of hate you for this ask because i just re read literally every single fic i recced and now im fucking sobbing like a maniac

most of these r gonna be stevetony just an fyi and they are not in order bc honestly every fic is different and has it's own qualities and joys so they are not comparable or ranked i love them all. i would also like to mention that i am the type of person who has loved writing since i was maybe 4, and has been a writer since i was maybe 5, so like. when i recc these, i mean that these fics made me a different person. they made me a better writer. they made me a better human being. because every time you relate to a character over something you have 0 experience with, you are a different person. you have a new perspective. so i am reccing these from the perspective of both a writer and a human being and a person who loves words.

1. maya's (@quidhitch ) entire christmas AU makes me cry and laugh and cry and cry and smile and cry so much i love it (all her other fics are also life changing)

“I love this song,” Steve sighs.

Tony snorts. “Everyone in the world loves this song.”

“Doesn’t make it any less worth loving.”

2. hold your fire by jenthesweetie. this fic. god. this fic. raw. so fucking raw. i am a big big fan of the whole ravaged world idea, and this fic does it justice so beautifully. i even wrote my own fic sorta entirely based on this one. it's. so fucking good. plus im a really really big fan of...not ambiguous endings, but endings that aren't concrete. it's a fucked up world, and sometimes things dont have to be definitively good. it's a beautiful, beautiful fic.

"Yeah," Steve says, and then Tony's quiet for a long time, and absolutely nothing is ever right anymore but given the circumstances it's not exactly wrong, either.

3. okay. so this one is very difficult and honestly I'm gonna cheat and not even do it properly. there are a few select fics that @elcorhamletlive (nanasekei on Ao3) has written that literally maybe have changed my being. probably. quite possibly. almost undoubtedly.

the first is responsibility. this fic haunts me. genuinely. i fall asleep thinking about it, sometimes. it fucking hurts, but like in the way that makes you want it to hurt. (although this is the only fic i will ever recc with a sad ending. the only one. it is the only one i have ever found worth the pain.)

You think of Vormir, of how he kissed you too many times to say goodbye and not enough times to distract you from his shaking hands. He said I wish and you know now what he was thinking of.

the second is Hating Steve Rogers. no joke, for a period of like 5 months, i re read this fic at least ocne a week. i won't say more. the fic speaks for itself.

The thing about loving people is that no one’s exactly good at it. And Tony loves too much and too loudly, and Steve loves too much and too quietly, and they learn to find each other in the middle, to create their own frequency. It’s like palladium and shrapnel, and ice, and Steve’s touch in Tony’s hair in the morning, Steve’s voice at his ear at night, Steve’s hand carefully and slowly reaching for his during a team dinner.

Tony thinks: I’d start a war to get you to look at me like this.

(Maybe, Tony thinks, you just can’t be that stubborn and kind and brave and exist in the world without also being sad. Maybe being sad is just the price Steve pays for being real.)

Tony counts the endless shades of blue in his eyes, thinks of his hand still so close, wonders how it’s possible to feel drunker on someone’s presence than after five shots of whiskey.

the third is Five Seconds. it's a massive fuck you to the mcu and i love it immensly.

There are the moments where Steve thinks love, in itself, is not a good word to express what they have. Steve thinks love is too small a word – too simple, too easy –, and what he feels for Tony is something humanity hasn’t yet named. He wonders if in some reality someone has found the word, a word for the way he watches Tony yawn and stretch his arms above his head in the morning, a word for the feeling of dying and being born exactly at the same time.

the fourth. if I time it right, the thunder breaks (when I open my mouth). this fic is gorgeous. intricate. delicate. beautiful. just beautiful. it's sort of an ode to love and wanting someone, in its own beautiful way.

(If he’s going to be honest – and he’s always honest –, the minute the words actually leave his lips, he doesn’t regret them in the slightest, just like he didn’t before, in the hospital room and watching Tony sleep. At the end of the day, Steve thinks, you can’t regret the truth. It is just what it is.)

all the rest of her fics are beautiful and lovely and funny and so good, but these ones i would gladly get tattooed across my body, if i had to choose.

4. When Our Day Comes by thepartyresponsible

this is a funny but slightly serious fic about steve dealing with everything, cuz like. that's kind of a lot, and it's fun and it wormed a way into my heart. i adore it.

“Ugh, what the fuck,” Tony says, running a hand down his face. “JARVIS,” he says, as he falls back onto his bed, “I despoiled America’s sweetheart. Call Rhodey. Call a tattoo artist. Call a priest.”

5. Put My Guns in the Ground (I Can't Shoot Them Anymore) by jukeboxhound

one of the most important things in a fic for me is characterization. i don't really give a shit about grammar or format or even plot, i just want true to form characterization. tony stark is by far the hardest character I've ever written in terms of fanfic. his syntax and phrases and word choice are insanely unique. so, by large, i do not believe most authors tend to capure that perfectly. however, every fic on this list definitely does. but one of the defining characteristics i remember of this series is that i was pretty impressed with this take on ptsd and depression and mental health in relation to both steve and tony in general.

i have reread a few paragraphs in this fic daily for a few months because it's a piece of writing that sees me, that grips my fucking heart and hurts, says in no uncertain terms, "I hear you. I see you."

So yeah, Steve is their captain and their icon and this means he has to make the decisions that other people can't, or won't, or pretend don't exist in this modern civilized world. Tony puts his gauntlets on Steve's hips as though it'll anchor him in the correct era, in the here and now with Tony himself and the consumer capitalist soulless nation that America's becoming, where the American Dream has become the Wall Street Dream. Tony holds himself solid in the face of Steve's hard, bruising kisses, imagines himself taking in what Steve needs to give him and tucking it close inside the harsh light of the arc reactor because he's too cynical to let Captain America bear the weight of all their sins himself.

I'm aware that's technically both 5 and technically not 5, and i want to reiterate, this is not my top 5. this is not ranked. these are the fics i remember right now, and yes, they're beautiful, but there are dozens of other fics i love. there are fics so gorgeous i wish i could make every person on earth read. nasafic's fics got me into stevetony in the first place. i love romcommed by fate, i love first impressions, i love so so so so many more fics than this. but here we are.

i'm gonna go cry some more now and maybe go take another 4 hour nap.

#ask #save #fic rec #fic recs #fics

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kabby-patty · 7 years

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that fic ive been promising for a month but havent posted cuz im a terrible person ;D

Kabby baby prompt - Abby goes into labour but they realize they have to do an emergency C-section, the radiation is almost here, supplies is limited, and they can't spare the anaesthetic. The only way the baby will survive is with the surgery but the risk for Abby is high. Abby placed a hand on her swollen stomach. It was reletively small compared to those she’d seen in the past. It was big but not as large as it had been with clarke. Her head was throbbing. The long hours sitting on a stool staring into the two lenses of a microscope began wearing down on her. The long hours brought good thoughts and bad thoughts. The good thoughts made her think of her and Marcus’s baby. The future their baby would have now that both of them were nightbloods and soon enough Marcus would be one too. She just had to get home to him. To everyone in Arcadia. They had found the serum only 2 days before and now were packing up headed home.

She smiled at the thought of when she told Marcus she was pregnant. When she placed his rough hand on her stomach and said, “Let’s call her hope”, his eyes light up and he threw his arms around her. It was the happiest she had ever seen him. Soon enough Abby and Marcus would be together. Soon enough-she repeated in her head.

Abby had been rummaging around the rooms in Becca’s house for any clothes that would fit her or Marcus for the past few days. She had found some but not many. There were 3 more rooms to check before they left. Abby turned the corner and opened the door to the last room. The room had a small bed in the corner and drawings on the walls. One drawing had a small girl and two taller figures. The drawing was mainly with crayon. The small girl had the word me written over it. The two taller figures each had the words mom and Aunt B hovering above. There was green grass and colorful flowers. The sky was blue and there was a pond. Abby subconsciously ran her fingers over the drawing. Abby wondered what happened to the little girl. But Abby put that thought out of her mind and began searching through the drawers. She saw lots of shirts and pants and jackets that would be perfect for her son or daughter in a few years. In the back of the closet, Abby found a bin with baby clothes in it. It made Abby think how long Becca had stayed here. She took a bunch of onesies with her. Abby didn’t know if she was having a boy or a girl yet but she wanted to be prepared. So, she also took one princess dress that hung in the corner. Her hand traveled to her belly once more where, it rested. Their baby was due anytime now. Abby set those clothes in her bag and began searching for a gift for her older daughter. Abby searched the little girl’s desk and the baskets surrounding it. In the farthest basket, there was an unopened pack of colored pencils. Abby knew Clarke barely had time to sleep but thought Clarke would enjoy them. Clarke always loved art and drawing. She wished there was more of an opportunity to do such things on the Ark but with all the rations and limited supplies, they couldn’t waste what they had. Abby grabbed a set of paper from the desk and placed it in her bag along with the pencils. She smiled. She was ready to go home and see her love.

________________________________________________________________

The rover ride was long and very rocky. Abby almost threw up 4 times before finally falling asleep on Jackson’s lap. Abby awoke when the rover lurched to a stop. First she blinked open her eyes, once realizing where she was, she jolted up. They were at the gates of Arkadia. Of course Abby and Jackson were sitting farthest from the door. Abby tapped her foot impatiently as people began filing out of the rover. Jackson stepped out before her and reached a hand up. She took it and stepped down. She was blasted with the smell of trees, metal and home. She took a deep inhale. She opened her eyes and saw her home. It was broken and torn but it still stood proud and tall. She smirked. Her eyes scanned the crowd for a certain face. One that she had been dreaming of for weeks. When she finally saw the back of his head, she couldn’t hold back the tears. Her hand went to her mouth to silence the cry. The other hand went instinctively to her stomach. He saw Raven run past him towards Monty. He whipped his head around. He hadn’t been expecting them that early. His face softened and his heart melted when he saw her. He smiled. She dropped her backpack and he ran towards her. Marcus was pushing people aside. When he got to her, he crashed into her. He buried his face in her hair. She placed her head in the crook of his neck. Each of them had gotten a hand tangled in the other’s hair. He lifted her up off the ground. She looked into his eyes. And smirked. “I was afraid we wouldn’t see you again.”

He rolled his eyes remembering back to almost a year ago, when they had a very different reunion. He kissed her softly. He placed her down. She pulled his collar and deepened the kiss. She bit his lower lip. Softly at first then she bit it hard. She winced into his mouth. Her entire body tensed up. “Abby, what’s wrong.” He wiped the blood from his lip. She winced again and bent over. “Talk to me.” His hands started shaking. His breathing became rapid.

“Baby. Now.” She managed to breathe out. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. He lifted her princess style. He began running to medical.

“JACKSON!” He yelled. Jackson turned from his spot next to Raven. He dropped her hand and ran behind marcus. He set her down on a med table. Abby gripped the table. There was too much pressure. She relaxed when the contraction stopped. She was panting. Jackson ran in. “Jackson, I think she’s rotated. There’s too much pressure.” Jackson lifted her shirt and pressed around. He stopped and shut his eyes. He looked at a scared Abby and Marcus and nodded.

“Yes.” He said deflated. “The baby rotated so…” His voice was low and slow.

“I know.” She whispered. She looked up at her husband. “Marcus, Jackson has to perform a c-section. It’s the only way the baby will survive...But” She trailed off.

“But what Abby?” His voice cracked. She opened her mouth to speak but another surge of pain struck her body. She screamed. The contractions were coming too close. She grabbed Marcus’s hand. Her knuckles were white. Her nails dug into his skin. Marcus felt tears coming to his eyes. He hated seeing her in pain. The only thing he ever wanted to do was to ease her pain. To make her feel loved and important and worth something. That was his job as her husband and best friend. It was his job and he was failing. She relaxed when the contraction stopped.

“Marcus, if I don’t have the procedure, both of us will die.” She put her hands on his cheeks. “But if Jackson can save our baby. If Jackson can save our little one. And I know he can. He’s done this a million times with me. We already moved our anesthesia to the bunker. We only have a few basic tools here so the chances that we both survive are…”

“No.” He shook his head. “No. I can’t live without you Abby.” Tears blurred his vision. He felt his hands shake. They rested behind her neck. “No.”

“Yes. This is the only way for you to meet our baby. Please, let’s not argue about it becuase there is no other way. Just hold me.” Tears fell silently down her face. He obliged.

��I love you so much Marcus.” He climbed on the table. She sat in between his legs. Her head rested on his chest listening to his heartbeat. She turned up to look at his face.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me Abigail Kane.” He kissed her slow and soft. He felt her tense up again. Another contraction plagued her. Soon enough they would have a little baby. But Marcus knew what came with that. And Abby knew that soon her pain would be over.

Jackson walked in. He had scrubbed in and was ready to proceed. He rocked her side to side as Jackson walked closer. Tears streamed down both of their faces. Jackson looked to Abby for confirmation. She nodded. He grabbed a scrap piece of leeather they had from the wrist restraints from Ilian. He placed it in her mouth. She nodded again. She looked up at marcus and grabbed his hands. She inhaled. What came next was a blur for her.

Marcus’s heart broke into a million pieces. Jackson placed the scalpel on her skin and dragged it across. She screamed in a way he’d never heard. It was worse than Mount Weather, it was worse than shocklashing, it broke his heart. She started shaking. He whispered reassurances in her ear. Trying to calm her down in anyway he could. It seemed like they sat there for hours. It was only a few seconds. Marcus looked up when he heard a baby’s cry. His breathing got quick and he opened his mouth. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“It’s a girl Abs.” Jackson smiled. He wrapped her in a blanked and handed her to Abby. “I’m gonna close you as fast as I can.”

Abby was still shaking from shock and barely conscious. Marcus supported her arms as they both held her together. “Jackson Eden Kane.” She whispered.

“It’s perfect. She’s so small.” Marcus said. He kissed her forehead. He was crying tears of joy because they had created a life and she was in his arms finally. Their daughter. But also tears of fear as he didn’t know if his wife would survive.

“Marcus, I need you to go. I need to patch her up. It’s not gonna be easy but I need space. You have to go.” He kissed Abby’s forehead. He looked at Jackson. Eyes pleading for another way.

“Please Jackson. I can’t leave her. Let me just stay. Please. I love her.” He begged.

“Kane the longer you argue the less of a chance she has of surviving. Now go.” Jackson commanded.

Marcus exhaled. He had no other choice. He looked at Abby. She was bobbing in and out of consciousness. “I love you so much. You’ve given me more than I ever knew i wanted. You are my light in the dark. I’ll protect Jackson with my life. Abby, I love you so much.” He kissed her again. He then stood up. He delicately lifted his daughter out of Abby’s arms. When he stood, she fell back onto the bed. He stared at her, tears rolling down his face.

“Marcus, please.” Her apprentice pleaded. Marcus reluctantly stumbled backwards and with a whoosh of the automatic door, she was gone. Tears streamed down his face. A gust of wind came by from the closing door and Jackson started crying. He looked down at the bundle in his arms. He wrapped the blanket tighter around her. He began swaying. Marcus put his pinky out and she grabbed onto it. “Shhhhh. It’s ok. Papa’s got you and he’s never going to let anything bad happen to you.” She had calmed down a little but was still whimpering.

“Hod ma han. Cloz yu blinka.

Teik a gaf. Sei reshop.

Skai so biga. Skaifaya so soncha.

Ai hod yu in. Rid so os.

Hold my hand. Close your eyes.

Make a wish. Say goodnight.

Sky so wide. Stars so bright.

I love you. So sleep tight.”

She finally relaxed after he said those words and fell back asleep. That was a poem he and Abby had come up with while she was pregnant. He said the words in trigedasleng. She would say them in English. They would say it every night to Abby’s growing stomach. She should’ve been there with him saying those words. He found a seat right next to the doors of the operating room. He wanted to be there when Jackson told him if he still had a wife or not.

Marcus looked down at his daughter. She had beautiful brown hair and lips that matched his. Her nose however, was Abby’s. He was anxious and excited to see her eyes. If they were going to be golden brown like hers or a dark chocolate brown like his. He ran his thumb over her cheek. He could literally stare at her for hours, admiring every piece of her. “Your mama loves you very much. You will get to see her again soon. I promise.” He kissed her forehead.

She stirred from the tickle of his beard. He jumped when the automatic doors opened. Marcus stood up quickly. She squirmed to find a better position. Jackson, the doctor, walked out. “Did you save my wife Jackson?”

He took his cap off. “She lost a lot of blood. Her pelvis was sprained due to all the pressure...”

“Damnit jackson just tell me….” He paused. He didn’t want to say it. “Just tell me if Abby is alive.” His heart began beating insanely fast. His hands were shaking and tears began forming again. Marcus could barely hear. The only sound in his ears was the blood rushing and flowing through him.

Jackson stood there. He slowly looked up at Marcus. Jackson choked out a one word answer. Marcus felt his heart drop. He got goosebumps. The hair on the back of his neck stood tall. He exhaled slowly. His entire body started shaking. He couldn’t believe what he just heard. “Can I go see her?” Jackson nodded.

Marcus readjusted the baby in his arms. He approached the door and it opened. He rushed in. The heartbeat he felt earlier stopped when he finally saw her. He became dizzy. Marcus could not believe his eyes. He drew one long breath. Tears formed in his eyes. On the table was his wife, the mother of his child, his Abby. His trance was broken.

“I’m okay Marcus.” She smiled at him. She was okay.

#kabby #baby #love

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