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insufferablemod · 10 days

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thinking about john n davesprite n dave what happens when he finds out its not just a bird dave thing but a dave thing..... the idea hes built up of The Real Dave comes crashing down

like things were def made worse by being stuck together for 3 years with noone else n all of the extra issues davesprite has On top of all the normal dave bs but like, fuuuckkkkkkk

#and like #i havent touched hs2 in ages but just thinking about any post canon thats based on the canon end be it hs2 or not #john interacting with dave #davesprite was the dave he was with for 3 years #the First dave he met...#do you think he thinks about him?#sees davesprites mannerisms in dave #n realizing what a pedestal hed put dave on compared 2 davesprite cus he hadnt seen daves issues up close n personal #years later looking back #after maybe even learning about some of the details of daves fucked up home situation #having the context for some of ds behavior #he was just a kid....#he was the only beta kid not to make it....#i just remembered jasprose n was like.. hmm idk if id count her since she shows up so late BUT #SHE DID MAKE IT #ok now im even more upset..... he truly was the only one of them... the one who gave up his identity....... TWICE(counting davepeta as 1 #N THEY DIDNT EVEN MAKE IT SO LIKE)#i am going insane #i am thinking violent thoughts #davesprite #rambles

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liquidstar · 9 months

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WOW I FINALLY FINISHED THIS SET. There were a lot of things I wanted to get right for them so I took some extra time but hopefully it was worth it! The guild for this set is Cobalt Heart- a guild with focus on maritime missions, lead by (of course) guildmaster Neptune. There was no other planet I could've picked for his namesake lol. They're the guild I jokingly call the most jockish, but some moreso than others. I really do hope I did all the characters justice, but if you wanna know more about the individual members, it's under the cut as usual!

Name: Neptune

Name Origin: The planet named for the god of the ocean

Pronouns: He/him

Age: 52

Guild rank: Guildmaster

Weapon: Trident

Ethos (Power): Ocean wave (Control over water- stronger with sea water)

Flaw power is based on: Originally based on his overly relaxed go-with-the-flow nature, but since becoming a father and guildmaster he's matured, and his power grew from simple wave control to more powerful control over the ocean's water. Waves aren't always peaceful, but he's become someone who understands their power and the responsibility needed for it.

Notes: If it's unclear, the marks on his chest are meant to be top surgery tattoos, but in cool wave shapes!

Name: Triton

Name Origin: Neptune's moon, aptly named for his son

Pronouns: He/they

Age: 24

Guild rank: 4 star

Weapon: Twin sai

Ethos (Power): Ocean breath (Underwater breathing as well as other aquatic adaptions)

Flaw power is based on: His ardent wanderlust, especially in regards to the ocean. They literally cannot leave it alone despite any possible better reasoning, which is when it becomes a problem.

Notes: Was his other parent a mermaid or did they just do the fish thing on their own? The world may never know.

Name: Otrera

Name Origin: A trojan asteroid named after the queen of the Amazons

Pronouns: She/her

Age: 32

Guild rank: 5 star

Weapon: Brass knickles

Ethos (Power): Preflexes (Hightened reflexes)

Flaw power is based on: Her overly-guarded and cagey nature.

Notes: But her brass knuckles are pink so its quirky when she knocks your teeth out.

Name: Naos

Name Origin: A star whose name means "ship"

Pronouns: He/him

Age: 21

Guild rank: 3 star

Weapon: Modified crutches

Ethos (Power): Helm (He can change the direction of inanimate objects. It's not limited to projectiles, he can change the direction of objects while they're in someone's hand too.)

Flaw power is based on: His avoidant tenancies, especially where more serious responsibility is concerned.

Notes: Honestly? Joined the guild to boost his playboy status.

Name: Aitne

Name Origin: One of Jupiter's moons, named after the personification of Mount Etna, a stratovolcano

Pronouns: They/them

Age: 27

Guild rank: 4 star

Weapon: Spiked gauntlets and armor

Ethos (Power): Molten Core (Lava manipulation)

Flaw power is based on: Their brash and destructive nature.

Notes: Likes all their food to be charred.

Name: Ariel

Name Origin: A moon or Uranus, named after an air spirit!

Pronouns: She/her

Age: 16

Guild rank: 2 star

Weapon: Baton

Ethos (Power): Harmony (Perfect balance on anything)

Flaw power is based on: Her own difficulty maintaining emotional balance under stress

Notes: She's a gymnast! And even though I didn't make the character named "Ariel" a mermaid, you can still see a scale pattern in her leotard!

Name: Maru

Name Origin: A white dwarf whose name means "Sky." It's orbited by the planet Ahra.

Pronouns: She/her

Age: 18

Guild rank: 3 star

Weapon: Claymore sword

Ethos (Power): Sky walking (She is capable of interacting with air as if it were a tangible object, creating leverage for herself to walk and balance on as if it were solid)

Flaw power is based on: Her somewhat vain tendency to place herself above others

Notes: Complete and utterly confident she's the cooler twin

Name: Ahra

Name Origin: A exoplanet whose name means "Ocean." It orbits the star Maru.

Pronouns: She/her

Age: 18

Guild rank: 3 star

Weapon: Claymore sword

Ethos (Power): Wave riding (Creation and control of tidal waves to ride on, as if she was surfing them with no board. But she does have to be on them.)

Flaw power is based on: Her arrogance and recklessness

Notes: Completely and utterly convinced she's the cooler twin.

Name: Pipoltr/Pip

Name Origin: A star named for "a bright and beautiful butterfly."

Pronouns: Whatever really?

Age: 8

Guild rank: 1 star

Weapon: Giant lollipop

Ethos (Power): None yet!

Flaw power is based on: N/A. This doesn't mean they're flawless, but until their power develops they're really just here to go on fun little adventures.

Notes: This child hangs around with sailors all day long. The words they know....

#finn's ocs #finn's art #oc references #FINALLY POSTING THIS SET #there was a bit of a delay bc i wanted to make sure i got the crutches w naos right #i ended up not making just the crutches a weapon but like. with modifications based on a real self defense item i found #but slightly different for both fantasy reasons and also i think its patented lol #his pose is also based on a real self defense w crutches video that my friend sent me (hiiii thank you for that once more btw <3)#so like hes very much in motion here. thats not how he usually stands w the crutches lol he usually like. uses them as crutches lol #the little trigger on them is what releases and returns the blade in them btw #also as for the rest of the group! i think neptune is absolutely the most fitting of his namesake out of all the guildmasters #i mean they all have aspects of it but he's fully embraced it. despite what i said abt him growing into responsibility and all #hes still such a chill nice guy. just in general. it would take a lot to get him angry (and if you did the sea is NOT peaceful!)#and in a lot of ways triton is like how he was when he was younger. responsibilities dont matter he needs to go to the challengers deep NOW #also the reason i picked twin sai to be his weapon is bc i didnt wanna do a trident twice. even tho like thats kind of the typical motif #but sai are like. also a 3 pronged weapon. so i felt it kept the energy. but smaller and 2 of them #omg speaking of weapons i completely accidentally added a trans flag to ariel's baton design lol. but i left it in why not #i had such a hard time w her colors bc i wanted her to be flashy but also to make the leotard mermaid esque #also for it to not be too revealing. like leda (from the lunar flare set) can have an exposing leotard tutu sure but shes an adult #and i wanted to give ariel more of like an 80s home gym workouts vibe. with the legwarmers and scrunchies lol #and the twins!!! i wanted to make them samey but differeny. in a way i havent done w matching outfits before #bc the actual shapes of the clothes are very different but the colors totally match!#plus the twins are fraternal. i feel like thats obvious what w their different hair colors but there are more subtle things #like slightly different eyes. the height and weight differences arent part of that tho bc that can happen to any twins even identical #otrera i also had a lot of fun with. especially the blonde hair in an emo bang with like a pink sporty outfit #the crown logo references her namesake being a queen too!#she really was fun tho bc shes just no nonsense trusts nothing but her gut. and shes meant to be like an MMA type #aitne was also super fun but a bit tricky to make it clear that their eye is half lidded from the burns and not just like a drawing mistake #but i think i made it clear! its important bc their vision is also impaired on that side #and the burns themselves were most likely an accident on their end. remember they're brash and destructive. even to themself!

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grapecaseschoices · 8 months

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what color character are you?

These are SO long. So I aint tagging no one, but if you do this please let me know!! Quiz is here: QUIZ!!

Tristan [maybe-ish; some of this perfect but some of it is completely off]

light blue character

Light Blue characters are laidback and creative, often with a good sense of humor that ranges from sarcastic to straight up puns. They are good at community building because of their chill and funny nature, and they are expert planners. They normally aren’t very uptight, but can become so when they feel there is something that needs to be done, or feels that their authority is being undermined. They have a very strong sense of responsibility, mainly for people in their care, often an older sibling figure to many of those close to them. They can get paranoid and overbearing when they are worried about those that they are caring for. They can also act childish and have fun but they like having people around who can see their maturity and treat them accordingly. They use a lot of humor to get around dealing with their internal problems, and tend to complain about surface level issues in order to ignore their more vulnerable feelings. Because of their tendency to make jokes and try to get people to laugh, they aren’t often recognized for their intelligence. Sometimes they lack common sense and it plays out in humorous ways, but when it really counts they are quite perceptive and intelligent, brilliant inventors and strategists. Their decisions may seem impulsive, but are usually quite thought out and purposeful. They aren’t the type of person who really wants to be the sole lead, but they want to have a say in the decision making, and they need their input to be taken seriously. They often feel inferior to others and can become defensive when their ideas or sense is questioned because of it. They don’t generally get things handed to them, but have to work for what they want. This can make them feel out of place in a space with others who people praise as “exceptional”, and being the “ordinary” one is a bit of a sore spot. They can tend to act cocky and confident to disguise their insecurities, again often using humor to help them along. Light blue characters need people who ask for their opinion often, give them proper recognition for their positive traits, and don’t leave them out of important decisions, but also don’t let them take on too much. They need people who will see past their witty barrier and allow them to try and figure out and come to terms with their feelings.

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Richard [ehhhhhhhhhh - I think what I saw of yellow might fit better, but I keep getting pink, SO!]

pink character

Pink characters are generally sweet and nice people who care about their friends deeply. They don’t often chose to be a part of the action, but instead get swept up in it almost against their will. They often aren’t fully equipped for the situations that are thrown at them, and can have a lot of feelings of inadequacy as a result. They don’t tend to be fighters, often preferring learning and discovery to anything else. They will go along with risky plans in order to help their group of friends or organization that they’re close to, but they’re generally terrified of whatever they’re doing. They are lighthearted and have a good sense of humor, fun to banter with but finding it hard to be genuinely mean to others. They are pretty emotional and sensitive, which turns out to be one of their greatest strengths. They have a lot of emotional maturity and are good at recognizing others’ needs. They are one of the voices of reason amongst a group of often impulsive people, which manifests itself in ways that others might dismiss as paranoia. (It is in some ways, but their fear of what might go wrong is also a crucial step to making the planning process so sound.) Even around people who care about them, they can tend to be the butt of the joke, and don’t have healthy boundaries to stop it. As they grow, they don’t necessarily become less fearful, but they do have a stronger sense of courage to get through their fears. They are compassionate friends and often do small things to show that they are thinking of the people are around them. They are dependable and trustworthy and a good ally to have. Pink characters need people around them who won’t mock them for being sensitive or having fears, but will validate their feelings and encourage them to overcome their doubts about themselves. They need their boundaries to be encouraged and respected, and for others not to pressure them into doing something they’ve said no to. [Not that he doesn't need people like that, but he isn't bad at doing it himself]

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Aleena:

orange character [maaaybe]

Orange characters are charismatic and talented. They push themselves to be the best at everything they put their mind to, and get upset when they can’t meet their own standards. They tend to be prodigies, seeming almost superhuman in their genius or abilities, but they often base their self-worth off of how well they can perform, making them feel isolated from the others around them. While most people see orange characters as cocky and self-absorbed, they are actually quite insecure in themselves. They want attention and validation from others, but because of their faux confidence and the constant (and often somewhat empty) praise from the people around them, the people that are truly closest to them often withhold it from them. This often leads them to push themselves beyond their limits to succeed and/or act out in unhealthy and self-destructive ways, in an effort to get some kind of recognition. These characters seek to impress, and have a hard time telling praise from love. They have a constant need to be the hero, in whatever context that means for them. These characters usually have a sense of humor and wit that can tend to flatter themselves (although much of what they say is rooted in truth), but it’s contrasting to some of their more self-deprecating natures. They can be serious loners, since they isolate themselves from others in an attempt to protect themselves. Although they would never admit it, they crave acceptance and belonging. Others generally don’t see this, because orange characters are loathe to admit weakness and build up defenses by making it clear that they don’t care what others think, although they do. In childhood, it is likely that their parental figures were either absent or abusive, often holding them up to high standards while not providing enough positive reinforcement. Other characters need to treat orange characters not as an annoyance, or give up on them quickly, but to make it clear that they are willing to love and support them regardless of how useful they can be, and to voice compliments where they are due.

#quiz: tristan terrell #uquiz #character insight #quiz: richard joly #quiz: aleena odeh #i am SO glad that i only have three tf #quiz: disenchanted #i took this 3x for tristan bc i feel light blue didnt work #it makes me wonder if xe could have been more of a jokster when xe started hs and before shit went to rot #xe ended up with light blue twice -- so maybe i could incorporate some of it ... honestlyy a lot of LB makes me think of theo #might try this again when i know them better #i only took leena's once bc i got tired qwer #long post

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levia-kun · 2 months

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tbh the more i think about it, the more i just dont want to post my art on tumblr anymore. i think i might be done for real. at least on this website :/

this is so frustrating

genuinly the only reason i havent deleted is because reblogs forcibly archive ur stuff and its not even about whether i have been scraped (im sure i have) but its more so about the feeling of the expoloitation built into the fucking TOS, i have zero faith in the "opt out" option, it's probably just a cosmetic.

So to "protect" my art for the simple purpose of not getting fucking exploited by the very same website, I "must" glaze, nightshade if possible. maybe add a readable watermark with good font, so I can be found more easily and whatever.

But for what? slightly more visiblity? ppl only like, barely reblog, let alone leave comments, whether tags or replies.

If I wanted more visibility I wouldn't be drawing 200+ artworks of my niche rarepair. or mod the rarepair's server, run events.

This is all a hobby; I don't earn money, I barely made even last convention I attended and that's only when not counting my travel and food costs.

I get what people mean when they want you to keep fighting and post art. But it's so fucking frustrating for seemingly no one to realise how exhausting this is to deal with!? for virtually no payback too.

sigh

yeah i think im done with posting art on tumblr and will slowly move off this site.

#big rant time #on a sidenote #I also really hate glazing #because i spent a lot of time on those drawings and i dont like it very much to see it warped in a sense #i was already super unhappy when i glazed the new year drawing #i spent so much fuckign time on my paintings #i'd love to just post HQ versions of them instead #and glazing doodles is fairly noticeable #not super #but when ur not familiar with the original #so i end up being bothered with them too #even tho i care way less about the image quality here #://////#not to speak of the extra steps glazing adds to the process of simply posting #this is just exhausting #like ive to wait a couple minutes for the result through webglaze #then if i dont like it enough i rerun it through but this time resetting the artstyle #etc. etc.#i ended up glazing teh LNY piece three times because i caught a mistake in the first glaze and then had to glaze twice again #because i didnt like the 2nd result #thats like #so much time added onto the already lenghty process #a step i dont even like

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spasmoticchainsaw · 10 months

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cool new oc

#i dont have a name for him yet #i ended up doing this all in one layer so im pretty impressed with it :]#ActuallyFinishedArt #oc #oc art #digital art #digital painting #artists on tumblr #tumblr broke while trying to schedule this so i hope it doesnt post twice #it didnt post twice but it DID post fucking early

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femme-malewife · 1 year

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I need more people to yell about Parental Roy Mustang and Edward Elric with...

#crying and punching the wall #fr tho i cant even sate my hunger with looking up fanart bc i ALWAYS end up seeing r0y3d shippers #i dont like !! those kinds of ships!! ed is literally like half of mustangs age pls.#but then when i finally DO find people discussing the Parental bits of it #i find people BASHING on roy being a father figure to ed #LIKE HELLO!#'"THE ABDUCTED ALCHEMIST'' IS LICH RALLY ABT THE MISUNDERSTANDING THAT ED IS MUSTANGS SON #Ed called him dad twice and Mustang called him son once #and Ed lich rally admits to himself that when he called out ''dad'' to mustang and ran over to him #he genuinely felt as though he had a father in the military (granted: he didnt know how to feel abt that)#but like. still.#and you dont have to be someone kind and sweet to be a good dad #mustang is def the definition of Tough Love #and then i hear ''why make roy mustang a parent when izumi and sig are right there''#they can be the elrics parents too.#theres nothing wrong with having several parental figures in your life #but i swear some people only see ''mom and dad figures only'' and they HAVE to be gentle and caring #ill make a separate post abt that holup yall im on a rampage

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asphaltfchewinggum · 1 year

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fuck that Slowkey it was actually heartKey . my mess:melt

af my ratios Like kiss that like you have no luck left

#But then we played and saw behind the bleachers #takecaffeine #no puddles left and Likem y mouth dryest ever competitions #tired but at home and my nail Broke to after your song #and I'll never end i cancelled all my plans cause im addicted to tagging #and when i came out of my den of darkness and kisses and Whipped cream and mocha i pop off and research and deliver swag and lessons to #this website #soi hope you #are greatful of what i do this is like a job to me #and the text posts are way too true as well read into this too do your lessons its like #its like what a method almost was before it got learnt too far just like ho w i sat down there #i saw you there like it was nothing like im not made of cardboard #i let That try because its like that try today when i drank that Twice almost had the other one from earlier too #Almost not removing throwback to the bleachers we picked up grass to put on our shoes to make it look like we played #lmao..#do you remember #we didnt even eat after #i was dropping Receipts and orders cause i was texting my friends about eating #like im so confused and i cant wear this anymore im ordering something whispful #can you listen lol #im like always half online like hit me up on here gang cos like ill look at my fone but like #i might not do anytthing like the mind to finger connection doesnt work after like the incidents now and then so #don't expect that style 3:4 ratio #i put you on paper #omg i was clicking through that #paper site and trying #to find that one #it looked #like you but it wasnt over paper i even posted it omfg #bruh

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transgenderdragons · 2 years

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mushroom sly + tiny creepypasta-looking mushroom sly (bad ending)

#left free space bc i didnt wantvto move him and risk Crunchification #bad ending is if he gets consumed by the fungus and theres none of him left ^_^#which would happen if a. he keeps on truckin for like...... fwoo i dont rember maybe a hundred years #or if he accidently speeds up the process via Witchcraft #honestly only keepin the doodle around bc i didnt expect it to look like That #my art #sly #mushroom sly #others ocs #lemonverse #body horror #queued for midnite bc ive already posted art twice today #OK SO WHO WAS GONNA TELLCME THE IMAGE ISNT CRUNCHED IF ITS SAVED AS A PNG WHAT THE HELL. IVE BEEN SAVING JPEGS THIS WHOLE TIME #aynway. hes so beautiful to me ok

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endwalkr · 2 years

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weee

#lotr good #lol i know i already made a post about it earlier this week but i finished watching the extended movies<\3 #reading the appendices is slightly on halt since its no less work than studying but #i think readinf the books was soooo much fun like i already really miss being able to pick it up every day for month #the fact that you spend so much more time reading than watching a movie sort of makes the connection a bit stronger in a way #like im not sure how many hours i spent reading all 3 books over four weeks but it must be like 40 at least #being able to see it all in movie form is soo lovely cause 1) theyre just such fun movies and 2) you dont have to work your brain to #visualize things as much #although i did end up getting quite used to the writing style and endless describing of landscapes #so i didnt have to focus super hard anymore after a while #but yeah still its nice to just be able to sit back and let it sorta come at you rather than actively read it all #though a difference is that in the book if you find a scene or quote that hits hard you can just sort of read it over and over while still #staying in the zone or the vibe of the scene #whereas in a movie you can rewind of course but it breaks it up a bit xD #sometimes while reading i would loop a quote 4 or 5 times in my head before moving on #idk wtf i am talking about its almost 4am but i am so surprised i ended up liking lotr so much #like i wanted to watch it cause i was curious and general cultural education and stuff but especially after reading of course #ive not really had a new interest where i can like do endless research and learn soo many things about it for quite a while #the experience of finding something new and like slowly familiarizing yourself with it more and more is so much fun #also sjfjdj at me having to read and watch the grey havens scene twice within a week #first the book last monday and now the movie #me sobbing both times😭#its just really good #and i reiterate because it must be said #nobody ever did and nobody ever will do it like samwise gamgee #shoutout to taking the hobbits to ise gard #shoutout to the shire theme constantly transitioning into the gridania theme in my head #and good night (collapses)#long post #< in case of accidental tag opening sjfjdj

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gardenhotspot · 2 years

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i left work :-)

#garden hotspot #gcwtual #i just went 'its hot im getting some done but i can do this all tmrw and friday so im going home' and did lol #happy first day of pride to me #also i talked to dl and the first time we talked i walked away going ehhhh that went poorly. i shouldve phrased it better.#so i found a rack of succulents left outside. the bonnie succulents that nobody could find and went 'oh hey this could go inside let me as #let me ask dl'* and so i did and i also asked him abt some fake plants we've had in the space since mothers day #and then i apologized and tried the convo over and he was like 'no no its cool' but still. it went pretty ok.#he said he owed me and i was like 'you owe me twice bc you didnt bring my palette jack back' 'no i did!' 'no you didnt lol'#also o is texting the gc bc f is saying the crepe myrtles are dying theyre NOT good lord #when i go home early he comes in after me and now o is stuck there by herself. she changes up info depending on who shes talking to #its so annoying like quit it you KNOW xyz is fine. why are you changing your story now.#so much misinformation im losing my bloody mind #im ending this text post text post is over #im finding mn tmrw

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tojiswhore-nanamisslut · 10 days

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I think all the Tokyo JJK kids smoke weed even Megumi

#posts #idk why but i can just absolutely picture them all getting high in someone's room hotboxing #it doesnt affect Panda so he ends up taking care of them (snacks #water etc)#i think yuuta tried it once or twice but eventually decided he didnt like it #megumi doesnt do it often but he will every now and again #toge entertains people by blowing fun smoke rings and shapes #nobara and yuuji share one brain cell when theyre sober so ofc theyre sharing half a brain cell when high #they def have funny banter and deep convos where they think they discovered the secrets of the universe #maki gets a little more chill/sleepy when she's high but is otherwise pretty much the same #also i do not personally smoke weed so this is all secondhand experience talking sjdjslfjsk

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heartxdecay · 21 days

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WHY do bad things always have to happen to me so close together like I did not NEED the combo of an acquaintance I was attempting to befriend blowing up at me and threatening to kill themselves over them deciding I said something I didn't (fuck being autistic why does everyone assume I'm inferring things when I'm actually NOT) and then my stalker who I haven't seen in about a year suddenly decides to show up at my place of work and ask MY BOYFRIEND if I was there (he lied and said I wasn't but I still caught a glimpse of him so he might have seen me) which lead to me finding out he never actually moved like he said he was going to which means realistically he could go right back to stalking and harassing me any time he wants. In the span of like 3 days. And of course right now we're like 3 weeks away from the big traumaversary time from when I left the cult + this is the midst of when I was reporting aforementioned stalker last year so I'm already constantly on high alert anyway. So now I'm constantly struggling just to stay awake let alone work and I already had to drop out of school and lie to my parents about it because the condition of me living here is remaining in school which means since I'm not they're going to kick me out if they know. So I can't NOT go to school AND not work especially because I'm trying to save as much money as possible in order to move out of this stupid hellhole of a "family" home where I'm constantly used as a third parent for my younger siblings. But I'm so tired all the time from stress keeping me awake at all hours and being completely unable to leave fight or flight mode when awake that I can barely find the energy to move, and my work is extremely tiring. I work retail as a supervisor and I have to deal with my coworkers not doing as much of the workload despite all being full time while I'm part time, none of the people I'm in charge of taking me seriously because I'm either younger than them or the same age as them, regular stress that comes with working retail and dealing with customers, and a management change that is leading to us getting a notoriously rude + perfectionist manager who I have personally seen throw an actual tantrum over having to do his JOB. Which means I can't afford to be tired and grumpy because I have to remain professional and productive. But every time something slightly off happens I want to burst into tears. Nobody there respects me and it's hard enough to handle when I'm NOT dealing with all of this. And of course because God hates me all of this happened when I decided to try to cut back on constantly vaping so after incident #2 I immediately gave up on that and I honestly think I've been going through cartridges FASTER. It's genuinely such a struggle every day to not relapse on self harm or turn to alcoholism and I'm not sure how much longer I can last. Especially because my literal only IRL support system is my boyfriend, because my parents are worth jack shit, my siblings are children, and my only "friend" in person is an objectively terrible human that I only still have around because they were my FP for a really long time and I have a hard time letting go of that relationship (every time I try I end up running back) and I just KNOW that if I even TRY to breach any of this with them they're either going to hit me with an "oof/yikes" and nothing else or spread my PERSONAL shit to everyone they know INCLUDING my extremely abusive ex that they refuse to totally cut contact with because it's "mean". which means I actually have nobody to turn to except the internet friends in my phone who for one aren't online all the time and have lives but two since they're my ONLY SUPPORT SYSTEM I cannot keep dumping everything on them constantly or I'll overwhelm them. Not to mention they have also had to deal with the acquaintance I mentioned at the start because they're actually THEIR friend, not mine, so if anything it's an even bigger deal to them. This leaves me with only my boyfriend who I already feel shitty enough about given the raging BPD.