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#if it was JOEY that SAID it and IMPLIED as MY lover perhaps … i would’ve believed them
bibleofficial · 11 months
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i'm sorry but this is 1 of the funniest spam texts i've gotten
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lucky-katebishop · 3 years
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What I Read in August 2021
I... my first draft got deleted and that took forever to make so please like this for my sanity. I bookmarked 26 fics and read 1 book this month, so not as much as my previous two months but still! The majority is Harry Potter, but there's a spare Sherlock one and Friends one in there. A lot of these fics have other people raising Harry because that's just what I've been in the mood for lately.
Friends
For someone to ripple the waters by teatrolley
Plot: He’s fine, though, he tells himself. He’s dealing with it. He’s dating girls, and using the excuse that he’s bad at it when Joey asks him why he never brings anyone home anymore. He’s fine. That is, until Joey kisses him at New Year’s, and everything changes. Or: Chandler is in love with Joey and it's not the sort of thing you say out loud. Until, one day, it is
Characters: Chandler, Joey, Monica
Relationships: Chandler/Joey
Warnings: none
Tags: canon compliant, friends to lovers, POV Chandler, Chandler is gay, coming out
My Notes: I watched a lot of Friends over August and just!!! Chandler and Joey were the Troy and Abed of the 90s, I said what I said. This fic is so beautiful, the prose is amazing and it’s so heartfelt and it did make me tear up a little bit. I don’t typically read fics for sitcoms but I highly 100% recommend this one!
*complete*
Sherlock (stand-alone)
Feel the Tide by positivelymeteoric
Plot: Things John Watson doesn't expect to do when he transfers to a new school: A) Befriend his (possibly) mad roommate. B) Investigate a particularly nasty streak of murders with his (most likely) mad roommate. C) Fall slightly (or not so slightly) in love with his (definitely) mad roommate. D) All of the above.
Characters: Sherlock, John, Harry Watson, Mycroft, Lestrade, Moriarty
Relationships: Sherlock/John
Warnings: none
Tags: teen!lock, high school
*complete*
Harry Potter & Sherlock
My Experiment by lemoncurry
Plot: Sherlock steals a boy. Sorry- rescues. John helps, because what choice does he have? But not even Sherlock knows just how not-boring things will be...
Characters: Sherlock, John, Harry Potter, Mycroft
Relationships: none
Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse
Tags: pre-Hogwarts
*incomplete* [last updated 2013]
Logic, Meet Luna by Applepie
Plot: Luna Lovegood has moved into 221c Baker Street! So what happens when you mix a 'loony' pureblood witch in a muggle area with logic driven residents? Err... not much, really. Just a whole lot of confusion.
Characters: Luna, Sherlock, Mycroft, John, Lestrade, Sally Donovan
Relationships: none
Warnings: none
Tags: humor
*complete*
Recalibration by Noxilicious
Plot: Mycroft more or less finds himself constantly cleaning up his dear brother’s messes, but in the case of one Harold William Holmes-Evans, he might just prove to be the one ‘mistake’ he won’t be able to rectify.
Characters:
Relationships: Sherlock/Lily Potter; Mary/John; Sherlock & Harry
Warnings: none
Tags: parentlock, canon compliant, pre-prisoner of Azkaban, post series 3, family drama, angst, hurt/comfort, muggle Sherlock, Sherlock is a Good Parent, Sherlock has a Heart, protective Sherlock, genius Harry, bogus deductions, fluff
*incomplete* [last updated 2017]
In Search of Companionship by kris799
Plot: After the events of the Sign of Three, Sherlock falls into a bout of melancholy; Mycroft, the consummate manipulator, suggests "filling the gap" and events largely get out of hand from there. A Sherlock adopts Harry!fic, set between Episodes Two and Three of Season Three.
Characters: Sherlock, Harry, Mrs Hudson, Mycroft, John, Mary
Relationships: Sherlock & Harry
Warnings: none
Tags: Parent!Sherlock, Child!Harry, adoption, John is out of the picture but not really, manipulative!Mycroft, magic, slow paced, perhaps glacial, Sherlock has many thoughts, and a mental!John to call him out on his crap, he’s not crazy, Harry cooks, and tries to take care of everyone, bored!Sherlock leads to bad [great] ideas, set in season 3
My Notes: don’t get your hopes up for Sherlock to find out about magic, it doesn’t happen and since the last time this was updated was almost seven years ago, I don’t think we’ll get to read it. However, it’s still very good and while it does give off some weird Sherlock stalkery vibes, this fic still kept me engaged and Sherlock and Harry’s relationship is great.
*incomplete* [last updated 2015]
Harry Potter of Baker Street by Dayja
Plot: Sherlock Holmes discovers family he never knew he had, and John Watson finds a child living in the cupboard.
Characters: Harry, Sherlock, John
Relationships: none
Warnings: none
Tags: family, friendship
My Notes: this one!!! Is so amazing!!! It’s so cute! I don’t really like to read kid fics all that much, but this one is worth the read!
*complete*
No Thank You by IHScribe
Plot: Harry Potter declines to attend Hogwarts, and Albus Dumbledore is forced to go and convince him otherwise. Too bad he didn’t expect the boy’s father(s).
Characters: Sherlock, John, Harry, Dumbledore, Mrs Hudson, Mycroft, Moriarty, McGonagall, Pomfrey, Hagrid, Snape
Relationships: Sherlock/John
Warnings: none
Tags: none
My Notes: this one is very funny and very sweet. Honestly fuck Hogwarts.
*complete*
Friend by esama
Plot: Sherlock finds the skull when he's five.
Characters: Sherlock, Harry, Mycroft, Mrs Holmes
Relationships: Sherlock & Harry
Warnings: character death
Tags: kid fic, alternate universe
My Notes: This one is so cool and original! I never thought about where Sherlock’s skull came from!
*complete*
Harry Potter & Supernatural
The Youngest Winchester by TheLastWincehsterStanding
Plot: Harry James Potter had thought, given the current circumstances, that going to America to track down his biological father was a fantastic idea. Unfortunately, like most of Harry's plans, there had been very little planning and far too much impulsiveness. Had he known what sort of monsters lurked in America, he would've stayed in England.
Characters: Harry, Bobby Singer, Dean Winchester, John Winchester, Sam Winchester
Relationships: Harry & Dean & Sam Winchester; Harry & John Winchester; Harry & Bobby Singer
Warnings: none
Tags: non-Potter Harry, the hunt for Yellow Eyes, season 1 of Supernatural, book 5, surprise! It’s a sixteen year old boy!
My Notes: I don’t really remember this one, I’ve read like four of these types of Harry being a Winchester story and I generally forget what happens in this one
*incomplete* [last updated 2018]
Harry Potter (stand-alone, specifically Percy Weasley/Oliver Wood)
That escalated quickly by SquaresAreNotCircles
Plot: Percy and Oliver get stuck in a Ministry lift (with seven other people present).
Characters: Percy, Oliver, Fred, George, Ginny, Bill, Ron, Charlie, Arthur, original male character
Relationships: Percy/Oliver
Warnings: none
Tags: humor, fluff
*complete*
Petty Theft by pinksnowboots
Plot: Percy pilfers Oliver's sweater. The twins are suspicious.
Characters: Percy, Oliver, Fred, George
Relationships: Percy/Oliver
Warnings: none
Tags: slice of life, drabble, sweaters, accidental coming out, established relationship, sharing clothes, quidditch, Oliver is protective
*complete*
Five Times Percy Thought Oliver was Beautiful and One Time Oliver Did Something About It by hufflebadgerinthetardis
Plot: The rule worshiping, strict, and by-the-books Gryffindor Prefect Percy Weasley has a secret. He’s got a huge crush on fellow Gryffindor and Quidditch Captain Oliver Wood. Percy was resigned to loving him from afar but he should have remembered that secrets don’t stay secrets for long at Hogwarts.
Characters: Percy, Oliver, Fred, George
Relationships: Percy/Oliver
Warnings: none
Tags: none
*complete*
Burn Across the Sky by MoonytheMarauder1 (beforethemoon)
Plot: When Oliver Wood stops talking about Quidditch to stare at Percy Weasley, Ron, Fred, and George know something is up.
Characters: Percy, Oliver, Ron, Harry, Hermione, Fred, George, Angelina, Alicia, Katie
Relationships: Percy/Oliver
Warnings: none
Tags: secret relationship, bad matchmaking, humor, protective siblings, quidditch, gay Percy, gay Oliver, injury, the hospital wing, exasperated Hermione, Harry is oblivious
My Notes: this isn’t the full plot, but it was very long and I only have so much time. Read this, it’s very cute
*complete*
I dare you to dare me by SquaresAreNotCircles
Plot: Fred didn’t even blink. “Harry said he didn’t want to join.” “So did I,” Oliver murmured. George didn’t allow him to stall any longer. He put his feet up between Fred and Angelina on the sofa and tilted his chair on its hind two legs. “Oliver, mate, truth or dare?”
Characters: Percy, Oliver, Fred, George, Angelina, Alicia Spinnet, Katie Bell
Relationships: Percy/Oliver
Warnings: none
Tags: truth or dare, Gryffindor Quidditch Team, the consumption of innocent earthworms, fluff
*complete*
It’s the truth by SquaresAreNotCircles
Plot: Fred and George refuse to believe Percy has a girlfriend. Oliver seems to know more. It's all very mysterious, until it isn't.
Characters: Percy, Oliver, Fred, George, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, Ron
Relationships: Percy Weasley/Oliver Wood
Warnings: none
Tags: fluff
My Notes: Percy and Oliver really are just teenage Sherlock and John, aren’t they? Just saner and have less crimes involved.
*complete*
Harry Potter (stand-alone)
Harry Potter and His Increasingly Worrying Letters Home by hopeless_hope
Plot: Dear Mum & Dad, Sorry my letters have been brief lately. I hope you’re all well! Just wanted to let you know that my friends and I stumbled upon a three-headed dog on the forbidden corridor that the stairs rather determinedly took us to. Is that normal? Love, Harry… or In which Lily and James survive Voldemort's attack, Sirius is never sent to Azkaban, and long-distance parenting is hard. Especially when your reckless Gryffindor child keeps sending concerning letters home and rushing into trouble before anyone has the chance to respond.
Characters: Harry, Hermione, Ron, Lily, James, Sirius, Remus, Draco, Snape, Dumbledore
Relationships: James/Lily; Sirius/Remus; Harry & Lily; Harry & James; Harry & Sirius; Harry & Hermione & Ron
Warnings: none
Tags: everyone lives/nobody dies, Lily and James live, angst and humor, the Golden Trio, most things are the same except now harry has adults who care about him, the marauders are a lil happy family, not peter tho bc fuck that guy, fix-it, friendship, harry grows up with a loving family but he’s still a reckless little shit
My Notes: this is another fic I’m very excited about. Reading new fics is something I don’t do often, I usually sort my fics by kudos and go backwards from there which usually means I miss out on amazing stuff like this! I do have to wait, which is a pain, but I’m still very excited about this fic, I see a lot of potential in it.
*incomplete* [last updated 1 August]
turn and face the strange by viennawaitss
Plot: ‘He sees himself as a creature of evolution, or perhaps a phantom of peculiarities - a great, winding python, yearning for the snap of his jaw, a snowy lamb, unchristened and stumbling across land on trembling legs.’ Reality, growth and the steps toward change. Or, how Harry’s brief expulsion isn’t the worst thing to happen to him.
Characters: Harry, Hermione, Ron, Blaise, Pansy, Sirius, Theo Nott, Draco
Relationships: none
Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse
Tags: resorting, trauma, nightmares, the Golden Trio, book 5, Slytherin Harry, friendship, mental health issues, growing up, coming of age, and already fighting the government
My Notes: I am so freaking excited for this fic! It has everything I want! Resorted Slytherin Harry, dealing with abuse and trauma, amazing Slytherin friendships, I mean come on!
*incomplete* [last updated 19 August]
Know this: in some way, you’re already dead by ulittuq
Plot: Harry has been fighting against being an obscurial his entire life and Sirius’ death is what pushes him over the edge.
Characters: Harry, Dumbledore, Tom Riddle
Relationships: none
Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, canonical character death, some noncanonical character death, suicidal thoughts
Tags: obscurial Harry, ambiguous/open ending
My Notes: part of a series but both fics are very short. It's only about 2k words.
*complete*
The Chosen One and The Halfblood Prince by waitingondaisies
Plot: Severus Snape was discovered as a spy mere days before the start of the school year. Thankfully, Albus had been working on a vague contingency plan for this possibility. It had been inspired by the question, “What would it take for Severus Snape to see that he was wrong about Harry Potter?” The answer? Force Severus to go undercover as Alfonse “Eli” Hopkirk, a sixth year Gryffindor.
Characters: Harry, Ginny, Snape, Hermione, Ron, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Neville, Luna
Relationships: Harry & Ginny; Harry & Snape; Hermione/Ron
Warnings: child abuse
Tags: angst, undercover, Harry needs a hug, slow burn friendship, Ginny is a good friend, not canon compliant - HBP, no Snape as defensive teacher, no Slughorn
My Notes: this one is so fun! Snape tries to act as a sixteen year old and it goes as well as you’d think. It’s really funny but also really heartfelt, it’s part of a series of two and the second one is more Severitus than the first.
*complete*
By His Side by silver_fish
Plot: After what is surely a more-than-preventable potions accident, Harry Potter winds up stuck in the hospital wing, unable to wake up. Severus just wishes he knew why Poppy won’t stop bothering him about it.
Characters: Harry, Snape, Pomfrey, Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore
Relationships: Harry & Snape
Warnings: references to addiction
Tags: severitus I guess? Just some good bonding, set during HBP, harry is sad and so am i, emotional hurt/comfort
*complete*
Unmasked Lilly’s - Year One by TheWillofTheQuill
Plot: Severus Snape was adamant, no - determined to hate Harry Potter. After all, he was the spawn of James Potter, his childhood bully. But when Harry turns up for his first year, malnourished and fearful, it is up to Snape to solve the mystery of why the small boy has bruises that he will not show and scars that will not heal. Sworn to protect Lilly's son, Severus Snape is about to face his hardest challenge yet; gaining the trust of a boy who has sworn to never trust again.
Characters: Harry, Snape, Dumbledore, Draco, Hermione
Relationships: future Drarry
Warnings: child abuse
Tags: Severitus, hurt/comfort, angst, abused Harry, Snape adopts Harry, Slytherin Harry, good Slytherins
*incomplete* [last updated July 2021]
A Pair of Shoes that Fit by Darkorangecat (Calacious)
Plot: Harry is lost in the Forbidden Forest when he goes looking for Neville’s Remembrall after Draco steals it from the boy once again. As Harry wanders the forest, wondering if he’ll ever make it back to Hogwarts, the entire staff is sent out to look for him, including a much peeved Severus Snape.
Characters: Harry, Snape
Relationships: none
Warnings: child abuse and neglect
Tags: Snape eventually adopts Harry, first year, hurt/comfort, angst
My Notes: this one is so cute and so sad, Harry’s only eleven in this fic and Snape is trying his best
*complete*
The Guiltless by branwyn
Plot: When Harry appears at the Welcoming Feast wearing a glamor only Snape notices, Snape decides to find out what the glamor is hiding.
Characters: Harry, Snape, Luna, Dumbledore
Relationships: Harry & Snape & Luna
Warnings: domestic violence, child abuse
Tags: Severitus, Snape mentors Harry, hurt/comfort
*complete*
Within Doors by Lomonaaeren
Plot: It takes three detentions for Severus Snape to realize why Harry Potter cleans cauldrons so well—and even more for him to decide what to do about it.
Characters: Harry, Snape
Relationships: Harry & Snape
Warnings: canonical child abuse
Tags: angst, detention, present tense
*complete*
Summer of Bonding by MagicaDraconia16
Plot: It was the summer of love . . . er, no, not really. Left waiting for the Dursleys, Harry is found by the last person he'd expect to see.
Characters: Harry, Snape, Dumbledore, Flitwick, Hermione, Ron, Molly, Fred, George, original house-elf characters, original male character, Stan Shunpike, Dobby
Relationships: Harry & Severus
Warnings: canon-typical violence, child abandonment, minor violence
Tags: humor, angst, nightmares of canon-typical violence, spiders, awkwardness, someone else (not Snape or Harry) dies too
My Notes: this one is so sweet and really captures how awkward Harry and Snape are
*complete*
Harry Potter & Everything
Raising Harry Collection by Steerpike13713
Fandoms: Harry Potter, Daredevil, Sherlock, Labyrinth, Batman, Gravity Falls, MCU, Once Upon a Time, Doctor Strange (comics), Buffy, Merlin
Plot: A collection of unrelated fics that have to do with people other than The Dursleys raising Harry Potter
Characters: too many to name, really
Relationships: Matt Murdock/Foggy & Belle/Rumplestiltskin
Warnings: none
Tags: genderqueer Loki, genderqueer Lily Evans, Loki is Lily Evans Potter
My Notes: since the fics are unrelated you can flip flop around the chapters to find the ones you really want to read. I think my favorite ones are the Batman and Daredevil ones :) (also the author wrote a really good Lucifer & Chaos Adventures of Sabrina series)
*complete*
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