the hardest part of the job is breaking the news that lactose intolerance is more permanent than death

If Yondu came to Earth

I just had a funny idea. Earth is space Australia/Humans are Space Orcs meets Guardians of the Galaxy.

Like what if Yondu came to Earth once after taking Peter (Idk why he’d do that, maybe the boy got homesick, maybe he considered taking him back for a minute after he decided not to hand him to Ego, but regardless of why, let’s say he did.)

Like I can just picture the Yondu and Kraglin taking Peter to Earth and getting introduced to spicy food. Peter tries to warn them, but they’re all like “I’m man enough to take this wimpy Terran food, boy!” and then they order the spiciest foods they can in a form of dick-measuring contest.

They end up soon regretting that decision, because maybe capsaicin is unique to Earth, or it’s just way stronger here, and their meal quickly turns into the equivalent of a ghost pepper challenge video (I also think it’d be funny if the “spiciest thing they could order” was just spicy nuggs from Wendys and Peter just laughs at their reaction while he enjoys the same meal without consequences.) 

Anyway, then Peter gets them some milk to stop them from whining about the burning and it works, but oh no... apparently aliens are lactose intolerant, and they wind up spending the next three hours on the shitter.

Once that’s over they decide to walk about for some fresh air (I mean, who’d want to be trapped inside with the aftermath of that???) only they ignore Peter when he suggests they wear sunscreen.

They should have listened to him, because it’s the middle of July, and both Kraglin and Yondu wind up getting sunburns, Yondu getting the worst of it on top of his bald head, and to make matters worse they also get ate up by mosquitos.

By the end of the day they’re dragging Peter back on the ship yelling, “How the hell did ya survive on this death planet, boy!? We ain’t ever coming back here!”

To put into perspective what having a manic episode due to bipolar disorder is like:

I walk into my grocery store this morning. I completely forget why I have come to the grocery store. I do not remember HOW I got to the grocery store.

I wander the produce section for some indescernable amount of time. I am overwhelmed by the selection of fruits. Did I even come here for fruits?? I do not remember. I grab a small pack of blackberries after Extremely thorough investigation, and I am allowed to leave the produce section.

Suddenly, I am struck with a realization, a memory. Breakfast! I’m in my way to work and I’m here to pick up breakfast! I only have ten minutes left to select and purchase a breakfast, how did I squander so much time looking at fruit!!! I also recall that I was looking for Yogurt, so I make my way to where I believe the yogurt section to be.

I am overwhelmed by the selection of yogurts available to me, but I know which one I am looking for. Chobani, vegan strawberry with the crunchy granola in the cup. I’m lactose intolerant, I cannot have other yogurts. I scan labels. I read labels CAREFULLY. I am running out of time and I CANNOT find my yogurt. I begin to cry infront of the yogurt section, seemingly alarming other shoppers.

I am very frustrated and upset about the yogurt, but then I remember that vegan yogurts are in the ORGANIC section, and Oh I Am The Fool, so I bee-line for it. I am very stressed in the Kroger now.

I locate vegan yogurt across the store. There are not many. They are OUT of strawberry Chobani and I don’t LIKE other flavors. I am going to cry again. I settle for Silk’s rasberry yogurt. I am deeply distressed that my first choice is not available, i get myself a kombucha and a choclate granola bar to feel better.

I irrationally hate the Kroger. I am very angery the grocery store has done this to me, I scan my breakfast at self check out with a sense of MALICE. I am still polite to the attendant on my way out the door, but I have momentarily decided to have a VENDETTA against Kroger. we should BOYCOTT Kroger for not having Chobani Vegan Strawberry Yogurt.

I am waiting at my bus stop several minutes later when I finally calm down and start writing this, feeling Very stupid.

This is a mild-case scenario. I was in no immediate danger, I was upset about yogurt in the grocery store and had a thirty minute breakfast-related fiasco that almost made me late to work. I’m in a much better place mentally than I have been a previous points in life, and I know this because I have been in MUCH more dangerous situations due to manic episodes before. I have a good support system. I have people I can call when I’m having an episode. I have a job thats fairly understanding of my challenges and limitations.

But this isn’t the case for a LOT of people with bipolar disorder. I feel incredibly privledged that my biggest problem this morning was just grocery shopping, because three years ago it was accidentally taking a manic trip to fucking Connecticut with no money to get back. Bipolar Disorder is recognized as a disability, and like, its for a good reason.

Theres so much stigma and shame around it, theres so little understanding from people about it. Its so hard to explain to people that I do not MEAN to be this way, I wish I wasn’t having meltdowns about yogurt but here we are.

Having a manic episode is like riding on a tilt-a-whirl; A lot of the time it’s very fun! Exciting, fast, everything feels like SO much. But sometimes you had too much funnel cake before the ride, or you didn’t even really Wanna get on but now you’re here and hyper-aware of the ricketyness of carnival rides. But you don’t get to just get off cuz you’re uncomfortable, youre stuck until the teenage ride-operator decides the ride is over and that sucks.

Idk where I’m really going with this, but I just wish I could make neurotypical people understand how hard it is to be like. the bare minimum of functional. If you know someone with bipolar disorder, just try to be understanding maybe? Like, mental illness is never an excuse to be a dick, but just keep in mind that some of us did NOT mean to cry in the yogurt section this morning, and are genuinely just having a hard time

Survey #236

“so i asked you once, and i ask you again: where do your roots start, and where do your roots end?”

Do you wear a ring on your finger? Yeah, a Supernatural reference best friend one. Do you listen to your friends’ advice when they give it to you? I mean, it depends on the kind of advice and the seriousness of the issue. I'd say in most cases, yes. What’re you listening to right now? "Angel Eyes" by New Years Day ft. Chris Motionless. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It has been, twice. I don't think I'll do it again because my glasses are just in the way and they come out and get lost too easily. Is your last ex still someone you care about and do you still have romantic feelings for your ex? Yes to both. My feelings towards her haven't changed at all, we just made a heavily-discussed, hard, but wise decision for the time being. Are you someone’s best friend? Sara. What’s the biggest annoyance in your life right now? Annoyance, ummm... oh, easy. Being poor as dirt. That's only slightly under my skin, y'know? Have you spoken to your mother today? Yeah, I live with her. When was the last time you cried and why? PTSD. It's started to become relevant again, jOY to THe WOrlD!!!!!1!!!1!!!!! Is there someone who makes you instantly smile when you receive a message from them? I mean I don't always smile, but I consistently do get excited. If someone loved you right now, would you want them to tell you? *confused screaming* Do you like to cuddle? If I'm seriously romantically into you, yes. Is any part of you sad at all? I think that's always going to be a thing for me, somewhere down in there. Do you like seafood? Only shrimp, and even that I don't like in some forms. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yeah. Does more than one person like you? Idk. Do you ever worry that people might be talking about you behind your back? Always. Fuck, I think Sara's the only person I can count on to never. Do you call your partner ‘baby’? I hated it and never used it 'til Sara. I eventually did, and somehow, it felt okay and not disrespectful??? Idk if I'll use it again. What's the most boring guy’s name out there? Like, "Bob" or something. Do you know how to play Mahjong? Nope. Ever had a promise ring? No. What’s the biggest turn off in the opposite sex? Send me a dick pic and I will actually KICK you in the dick. Fun fact, even though I'm still bi, visually, penises gross me the fuck out and so I'd rather see someone's as little as possible, m'kay? Doing that is like a surefire way for me to decide "oh no bye boy." How often do you catch yourself daydreaming? A whole lot. This time last year, were you single? No. Who is someone you’ll always hate? The doctor that put me on a medication that put around 100 pounds on me and blamed it aaaaaall on me. :^) Do you know anyone with the same name as you? Yeah, just spelled differently. Who knows your biggest secret(s)? Sara. Do you ever read the threads on r/AskReddit? No. Are you currently stressed out about anything? You have no fucking idea. What’s your Instagram @? brittanymphotography or eldritch_obscura, depending on what kind of photography you're into. Don't have a personal one. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No. Are you in love with anyone at the moment? It's so complicated. I think, but I also question the "in" love part. That and just "loving" are different to me. I want her, I want Jason, and here I am strictly monogamous. I barely understand what I feel romantically rn. If a friend called you to help hide a body, would you help or turn them in? UM fuck that I'm calling the cops. Have you ever had a crush on someone that, now as you look back, is completely embarrassing? Not really. How would you react if a friend started dating your ex? When "ex" is used singularly, I always assume you want The Ex. So, regardless of friend, that'd feel weird, but with certain people/levels of friendship, less so than others. If you were in an emergency, which friend would you call first? So not family? Uhhh, I don't know. It depends on the kind of emergency. Ever kissed someone who wasn’t single? No. Other than that "someone who wasn't single" being my partner. Are you single? if no who are you dating and for how long? Not right now, no. What kind of music do you listen to? Tons of different forms of metal, rock, indie, and I'm even into some electro stuff now. Do you have any YouTube videos of yourself? Thank the merciful lord, not anymore. What’s your fave YouTube video? BIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHH the one featuring Dark in A Heist With Markiplier. I am not exaggerating my love of White Suit Dark. Use three words that best describe your best friend: Passionate, loyal, and resilient as a motherfucker. Now use three that best describe you: Also passionate, empathetic, and caring. List three things that describe your crush/love: Look I love someone but am also preoccupied with the idea of Jason coming back to me. It's not a "crush," it's being in love with a memory. I don't have a clue how to answer this rn. Is there someone in the family that no one really talks to? As far as extended family goes, yeah. Have you ever been romantically interested in a coworker? N/A What is the game you’re currently playing most often on your phone? None; I have no games on it because my phone has incredibly small memory. Same. Are you close to someone who is mentally unwell? Well, define "unwell." I have a load of friends and family with mental disorders, but calling them "mentally unwell" seems too severe. Do you have an opinion on adopting/purchasing a pet? Adopt, dude. There are so, SO many cats and dogs and I'm sure more that need a home, but you'd rather pay hundreds for a dog with likely some sort of health problem from extreme breeding than adopt an animal for a far cheaper price that ALREADY needs a family? Come on, now. Have you ever read any of your idols’ books/autobiographies? I read Ozzy's autobiography. Do you know anyone who is freaked out by cats? ???????????? no????????????? What name would you pick for yourself? Probably "Zoey." Do you enjoy going to live shows? Do concerts count? 'Cuz yeah. Who do you spend the most time with? My mom, I guess? She's the only one I live with, but she's like, never home because she works more than she breathes. What color do you wish your hair was? Natural hair, blonde. So much easier to dye, jc. Does any of the jewelry you wear have sentimental significance? The ring mentioned earlier, as well as the bracelet Sara also gave me. Who is your favorite drummer? Eh, no op Do you find musicians attractive? This is a dumb question... It depends on the musician??? If you could get any piercing, what would it be? I want a microdermal below/near the outer corner of my eye NOW. But I have glasses so it would totally ruin the purpose, ugh. Do you scream, yell, jump around and dance at shows or do you stand still? Just cheer, really. I wouldn't call it "screaming." I guess I can yell, too? Have you ever lost your voice from screaming so much? "No. I’ve had a sore throat." <<<< This. What’s your favorite color on the person you have feelings for? Both Sara and Jason, as well as like anyone, I love wearing black. Actually, Sara is super cute in light colors, like baby pink. Ugh talking about them at the same time feels fuckin weird. Who’s your favorite horror monster/killer? Alright, let's just say like, the "traditional" guys. I suppose Jason? His silence, totally casual pursuit, and mask creep me out, man. What kind of music do you prefer to listen to when driving? When I myself am driving, I don't want music on. I can't concentrate. Are you willing to board airplanes? I've gone up to see Sara like... three times within two years, I think? They don't scare me too much. I don't like takeoff, though. Too rocky and dizzying. Do looks really matter to you when it comes to friendship? ??????????? what?????????? the fuck??????????????? Do you accept friend requests from people you don’t know? Nope. I have to not only know you, but care more about you than like the average acquaintance of whatever. What is one of your best talents? Writing, I guess? Are/were you a rebellious youth or angsty teen? ha ha oh BOY Do you put your change in a jar for savings? No. How do you feel about transvestites? BITCH y'all great. I love you. Fuckin ROCK YA SHIT. Do you know anyone with a land line at their house? Yes, actually. Do you have any guilty pleasures? Certain kinds of daydreams. Have you been in a fist fight with someone you didn’t want to fight? I've never had a physical fight. Has anyone ever convinced you to do something you didn’t want to? Sure. Usually for my own benefit/growth, though. Are you a sensitive person? Yeah, quite a bit. Do you enjoy writing? Yep. Are you a germ-o-phobe? YEAH. Would you ever own a hairless rat, cat or dog? I would TOTALLY have a sphynx. There's this one breed of dog too and is furless on most places but does have some furry areas and are so ugly they're cute, and I once almost did adopt a hairless rat. So there's your answer. Do you prefer big, fluffy towels or normal sized/smaller towels? BIG FLUFF What is the image on your beach towel? Don't have one of those. Are you good with making eye contact? NO. I never know how long to maintain it and overthink it HEAVILY. I avoid it most of the time. What is your favorite book that was turned into a movie? Probably The Outsiders. I thought it did the book great justice. Do you like the movie or the book better? I don't remember either well enough. Do you watch porn? No. I don't want to watch some strangers bang each other. It's in no way arousing to me. What’s your favorite flavor of applesauce, if any? I guess just normal? Do you go to a firework show every 4th of July? Nah. Are you diabetic? No. Are you allergic to gluten? No. I don't think I'd survive. Are you lactose intolerant? No. Do you live with your parents? Just my mom. Parents are divorced and Mom had full custody, and my two sisters are proper adults that can survive without their mommy. :^) How much experience do you have written down on your resume, approximately? NOT A LOT!!!!!!!! I only count like, one damn job that was valid/lasted a couple months, but only because I very rarely worked. I also only include my previous online college, and should I create a resume now, obviously the one I currently attend. What’s your favorite song to dance to? I do not dance, my friend. What do you think of your parents? Both of them are great. Mom is the reason I'm (in the big picture) healthy, even alive. I WOULD be dead, died a long time ago, if it was not for that woman. Saved my life again and again and again, been there for me through both the same old shit and new madness. I'mma stop here before I actually cry just thinking about how thankful I am for her. Dad, too, I love, and I aspire to be as positive as he seems nowadays. His loyalty to my sisters and me, especially after the shit I've said, is incredible. He doesn't take a lot too seriously, and that's nice, especially when you're having a hard time. He's an optimistic guy now that always makes an effort to cheer you up. He's a total goof, too. He's just fun to be around. What do you think makes you attractive to other people? HA, fuck if I know. I guess my vertical lip labret stands out? Everyone I've dated since having it has at some point pointed out that that's like, my trademark that makes me recognizable right off the bat and that it looks good on me. One of the few things I even like on myself. Would more money make you happier? Look me right in the fucking eye and answer "no" to this. What is one of your favorite memories as a child? Watching my older sister play demo discs' video games after waking up. It's something so simple, but idk, I love remembering that. What’s your favorite kind of cake? Probably red velvet, like gd that shit good. Who is your favorite sports team? Idc. Like I have a natural fondness towards the Carolina Hurricanes 'cuz they're Dad's favorite and we've gone to some games together, but I really don't care. Who would you like to get to know better? I have this high school acquaintance named Courtlynn on my Facebook that seems so cool and relatable. She seems to like me too (not romantically, but she's really supportive, hearts like everything, comments the sweetest stuff sometimes, all that), I just think both of us are shy to reach out. What is the strangest food you ever ate? "I don’t eat anything I consider strange. I’m so picky and basic." <<<< Big 'ole fat same. What’s your favorite thing to order at a Chinese food restaurant? I exclusively only eat pork fried rice and/or egg rolls. Are you an organ donor? YES!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE BE ONE!!!!!!!!!! YOU DON'T NEED THEM ONCE UR DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!! THE LIVING DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SAVE SOME LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What’s your favorite candle scent? FRESH BAKED BREAD MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM What would you do if you found an abandoned animal? Check for identification and call if a number is given, offer it food and water, put a notification up on Facebook about a lost pet... all that stuff. We'd try to avoid a shelter, probably, because yeah. Euthanization is a thing. Have you ever kissed someone who had a tongue piercing? I am the one with the tongue piercing lmao. No. Is it easy for someone to make you cry? OH YES, QUITE. How many children can you see yourself having? IF I had kids, IF, I could not possibly imagine myself with more than two. What is your favorite PlayStation 1 game? SILENT HILL FUCK MAN I LOVE THAT SHIT. Are you competitive? Not really. Depends. Black and white or colored photos? It very much depends. Composition, lighting, content, all that contributes to what I find more aesthetically pleasing. Do you prefer to date younger, older, or the same age as you? Preferably around my age. What’s something from the past that you don’t miss at all? Being a depressed mess every waking moment of my life. Do you like ice cream cake? Not really. Do you wash your hair every day? No, every day is bad for your hair. Do you have trouble sticking to promises? Definitely not. I'm good at that. Have you ever made out with someone of the same sex? Very briefly. She thought she was ready, but not quite. What kind of headphones do you have? Right now they're literally just flimsy hot pink earplugs from a dollar store lmao. How often do you go to parties? Never. Do you sleep in awkward positions? I don't think so. Do you experiment a lot with new looks on yourself? Not really. Where is your favorite place to be kissed? Don't touch my tits with, like, anything. Do you ever quote your favorite movie in normal conversations? No? Do people ever tell you that you look stoned when you’re not? No. Do you suffer from anxiety or depression? *shrugs* why not both? Do hospitals freak you out? To a degree. Been there enough times to both get semi-used to it, but it also agitates old wounds and makes me antsy to get out. What about cemeteries at night? I've never experienced this, so I can't say. But the idea doesn't really creep me out, no. What is your favorite Nintendo 64 game? I never had one. Were you mean as a little kid? Nah, I was a good kid actually.

Knowing your partner well makes writing together a lot easier. Tag this with the people you enjoy roleplaying with but want to get to know better.  

REPOST. DO NOT REBLOG.

Tagged by: sort of @wintermae 

BASICS

NAME: Ko AGE: 25 PRONOUNS: Doesn’t matter really but most people use female ones because I generally present as what’s considered female. SEXUALITY: Hoo boy. About 75% of the way to homosexual and grey asexual. ZODIAC SIGN: Sagittarius. TAKEN OR SINGLE:  Taken by a fUCKING NERD WHO DOESN’T UNDERSTAND PHYSICS AND IS WORKING ON A FUCKING FISSION REACTOR IN HIS RP PROJECT SO GUESS WHO’S STUCK WRITING THAT UP. THANKS BAE. Y U DO THIS TO ME. (he’s never gonna see this so i’m gonna yell it at him. He’s laughing at me.) THREE FACTS:

I am lactose intolerant and I cry about it regularly. I miss being able to eat as much ice cream as I want.

I was accepted to a pretty good college to study theoretical physics, but ultimately decided I couldn’t afford it and am now attending a tech school for medical assisting so I can get practical experience and become a phsyician’s assistant. I’m pretty glad that’s how it turned out because I realized about five years ago that I hate any math more complicated than trig.

I speak just enough Spanish to have overheard a lady telling someone that she went into a Popeye’s bathroom once and discovered someone shit in the sink while I was taking a piss today. I had to ask her to repeat it in English because I had to have heard that wrong. I didn’t. I really wish I had, though. I’ll never look at Popeye’s the same.

EXPERIENCE

PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED:  Some forum I don’t remember the name of, Gaia Online, Skype, Chatzy, MSPARP (don’t look at me like that), and Tumblr. BEST EXPERIENCE: The time my boyfriend said he’d rather see that one Reaper in women’s underwear fanart than my hermaphrodite robot porn while we were RPing Overwatch as Mei and Zenyatta. He really likes that tiny demon and I apologize for him, but I want you to just take that in for a minute. Reaper with his dick out in panties was less traumatic for my straight, cis boyfriend. WORST EXPERIENCE: Remembering my first five years or so of RP. They were hamfisted, childish attempts at writing. Started from the bottom now we here!

MUSE PREFERENCE

FEMALE OR MALE: I used to prefer male muses, but now that Tumblr RP has improved in that female muses don’t get shit on as much, I’m pretty even. FAVOURITE FACE: I’m going to pick five. Lucy Liu (lowkey why I use her as an FC), Chris Pine (IDK why man, don’t ask, I just have a thing for Chris Pine), Freema Agyeman, Idris Elba, and Lucy Lawless (because I cannot forget Xena Warrior Princess and how fuckin gay it was) LEAST FAVOURITE FACE: Benedict Cumberbatch. There are many reasons. The number one reason is that I think he looks like a mutant potato and yet everyone and their moms think he’s hot. MULTI OR SINGLE: I prefer single but if you’re so damn good that I can get past the fact that you’re a multi (IDK why I hate it so much tbh) I will 100% write with you anyway.

WRITING PREFERENCE

FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: I prefer comedy, actually. I don’t really write smut anymore. I used to when I was younger and hormonal and other people wanted me to write it, but now you gotta like, bribe me with snacks. I do like fluff and angst, though - and even then it’s usually laced with comedy.  PLOTS OR MEMES: Let me just preface this with the statement that I am meme trash and I know that’s not what this means but shhh. I like both. LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: I prefer long replies because I tend to write pretty fast when I have muse and no one wants to see a block of 15 replies from me in a row on their dash because we’re doing short replies. Long replies take me more time. BEST TIME TO WRITE: Two o’clock in the morning. ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): Hmm. A little, in that I’m easily frustrated dealing with people who are significantly less intelligent than I am, but I don’t show it half as much Missy does. I just text someone and bitch about it while I fake smile my way through the interaction. Other than that, no, not really. As for Zenyatta, who I haven’t written in a while but who is still near and dear to my heart, I had a lot of people I talked to OOC in the OW RP fandom who were convinced I was actually secretly Zenyatta, because I give very good advice most of the time.

TAGGING: idk man if ur reading this and u feel like doing it consider urself tagged i rly hate calling people out like that