I think what has always kept me staunchly on the side of “there is nothing supernatural in Petscop” is that anything that is actually supernatural is ultimately just a tool used to discuss abuse. Which is not to say that those supernatural elements cannot coexist as allegory and reality, but they don’t. There aren’t ghosts in Petscop. It’s not haunted. Or, well, it is haunted, but by the past. By its creator. By its players. By itself. Petscop is lines of code and a multiplayer system weaponized against defenseless children. The aspects of it that are hard to reconcile with reality are the metaphors for abuse—how do you use the reflection from a vase to traumatize a child? How does playing a melody on a piano fundamentally rewire somebody’s personality and psychology? These are the most fantastical aspects of Petscop, the moments where reality has to allow space to tell this story in whatever way this format can portray it. Were the children Marvin kidnapped playing Petscop at the school? Well, probably not. But that is the only lens we have into this world.

We first see Care NLM characteristically crying into her hands, but otherwise fine, and then Paul plucks the petals from a flower and suddenly Care NLM is blurry, scratched out, red. As though we’re seeing her through the reflection of the vase. The way Marvin sees her? Maybe. Paul is forced to retrace Marvin’s steps, after all. But, more importantly, we see Care the way Marvin left her. The way Care sees herself. The mirror in the bathroom is a nauseating green. Oftentimes children who have been sexually abused—as the “deflowering” scene and other moments in the series subtextually imply is happening—feel as though they’ve been dirtied, as though they’re “damaged goods.” The first thing we learn about Care NLM is that she believes, intrinsically and wholeheartedly, that “nobody will love her, not ever again.” Of course, being kidnapped and held hostage for six months, in horrific conditions, inside of an abandoned building, while your own father attempts to turn you into the memory of a girl who died long before you were ever born is, without a doubt, wildly traumatizing. But would it leave her believing that nobody would love her ever again? Those words specifically? We read them during the same section where Rainer talks about Marvin thinking about Care while he’s in the bath. The framing of this series has always been extremely intentional. And, when you’re clued into what you’re meant to be seeing, it is all extremely unsubtle.

The most supernatural event to take place in Petscop is the disappearance of Lina and the windmill. But even that feels like a fantastical allegory for the death of a young girl that Marvin blames himself for, and probably with good reason. What did you do?, Rainer asks, and it’s a good question. It’s worth noting that Marvin marries Lina’s sister. Out of guilt? Desperation? They were children when it all happened, but Marvin develops an obsession with Lina that lasts a lifetime, and that must have had a psychosexual angle to it—he married her sister, after all. For Marvin to believe that Lina was reborn in Care’s body. . . No child is safe within Marvin’s grasp. But Care was always particularly in danger.

It’s also worth noting that severe childhood sexual abuse is one of the most common reasons why a person might repress memories of their entire childhood, the way Paul seems to have so clearly done. Petscop isn’t a story about multiple timelines converging. The things that happen are all very linear. Hard to put together, especially since we don’t have all the answers and have to make quite a fair amount of educated conjecture, but still very linear. Rainer—with his survivor’s guilt, with his being too old to be in danger but too young to stop it all from happening—took the code for the video game he was making for his brother, and turned it into revenge against an abuser. It backfired, and Marvin began to use the game as another tool for abuse. By then, Rainer had killed himself, yet another plot in a graveyard.

When Paul tells Marvin his room, he starts spelling “da—” before being stopped. Nothing on screen moves for a painful several minutes. We don’t know what happened in that room. All we know is Marvin hurt Paul. And, looking at the previous ways in which Marvin hurt Care—hurt Paul—the silence and lack of movement in that scene, our inability to know what is happening in real life. . . It’s the most terrifying moment of the show. I’ve lost the thread a bit, but my point: Petscop is more based in reality than it originally seems, but it is first and foremost loyal to its medium, and it uses that medium to tell a story that is, at its thematic core, focused on the intersection between child sexual abuse and transness. When those two things click for you, the conclusion is inescapable. As it was for Paul.

Self esteem and love issues:(

Hey, I don’t know how this works but today I feel like I can’t trust or talk to anyone who surrounds me:( The thing is that there’s a boy, he’s kind of a fuckboy, but not exactly. He gets along really REALLY well with girls, if you know what I mean, he’s always surrounded by them. He’s also so extrovert and confident, and then, there’s me, I used to be really really quiet until I started talking to him, we became close, and he used to talk about how in love he was with this girl or the other… I didn’t really care, I have boyfriend, but unfortunately he is also like this boy🤦🏻‍♀️😕, plus it seems I suck as girlfriend cause our relationship is basically death. For some reason I always end up with this kind of… assholes? Idk. I know my self esteem isn’t the best, and I am starting to think that this boys know it, and they always use me. But going back to this guy, well, our class started to bother us about being in love and that stuff a month ago, and then people started asking us for real if we were a couple and it became weird. Then I started to feel something for him (I never told anyone) but it was pretty obvious for me that he didn’t, and wouldn’t settle down, but then last weekend he told me he felt something for me, that he wanted something but he knows I have boyfriend, and he believes I feel nothing for him. To put you in context, I behave like a coldhearted person, with dry humour, etc. But at the same time, I look like a little girl, naive, sweet, etc. And because of that, everyone thinks I need protection. He told me that if I give him a chance, by the end of January I will be in love with him, and then, we will move to the next thing, and you know, until we date. He told me my relationship with my boyfriend wasn’t healthy or even a relationship. I told him I will give him a chance, but now I’m scared because I doubt he wants to settle down, and I’ve been through this a few times. But the other day a friend told me that she heard that some of his girl friends (who ship us btw) started to argue with him and told him that if he wanted something with me he needed to change, and he told them that he really wanted something real with me, he wanted to settle down. But they always say that when they are in love, aren’t they? And today I saw him talking to this girl, and I don’t know what exactly they had in the past but they had something. Of course I didn’t complain or ask him for explanations bc we aren’t anything now, and I don’t have a right to ask him I guess, but his best friend did, he argued with him, and then he said that this (me and him) doesn’t mean he can’t have a social life. So now I’m confused, and I don’t know if I should give him a chance. I low-key feel he is using me.

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Due to tumblr terrible system, I’ll have to answer this question through this formation, I apologies if this was of any inconvenience to you.

Salutations!

Since this will be a relatively large post, I’ll split this answer into 3 sections. The first section will provide a brief answer to your question, the second section will go into an explanation of the reason why I provided my first opinion as well as directly reference your ask, and lastly the third section will sum up everything mentioned previously. Each section will be broken with a provided line to make things easier to read. Please consider that this opinion is based on an external perspective, however, it’s something you should consider when making your final decision. I hope that this answer will help you.

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Beginning with the first section…

Just by reading your explanation of this boy (the fuckboy), my answer is no. Please don’t give him a chance to win you over, and please don’t consider dating him. He has repetitively shown personality traits that are considerably dangerous and manipulative. What we both want is for you to be in a healthy and stable relationship, and by judging based off the information you have provided, he has shown signs of being inexperienced and unreliable. Which, in-turn will affect your relationship with him. This doesn’t mean he is a bad person, but it does mean that he isn’t ready for a committed relationship. Perhaps he isn’t looking for a committed relationship, which is fine, but you should still consider how this type of relationship with him may affect your mental-well being.

Remember, a relationship requires two people working together. You need to have as much confidence in yourself, as equal confidence in him. If you two both don’t pull equal weights, then the relationship becomes unstable and conflicting.

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Second Section...

Based by your ask, it seems that you’re extremely unsure of how you should interact with this boy. Confused, doubtful, and nervous these emotions are normally a good indication of how you should treat this situation. What I find helps me is listing all of the pros and cons of a situation, considering both the logical response and your emotive response. This helps de-clutter everything and provide a physical and visual aid when deciding your actions.

Returning back to your ask, I’ll be taking direct references from your ask and explain why these descriptions are a cause of concern.

The thing is that there’s a boy, he’s kind of a fuckboy, but not exactly…

People’s behavior can range from bad, neutral, and good. However, when considering relationships, it’s always better to have a person that leans towards the good side. In direct terms, he either acts like a fuckboy or doesn’t. He might not act like a fuckboy all the time (which is most likely the case), however if he can act like a fuckboy it does mean he has the potential to be a fuckboy and the capacity to do it again. So, I would suggest monitoring his behavior, be objective when responding to his actions. The first impression of his actions are the most important as they are what you would be dealing with if you do decide to date or get into a relationship with him.

 Plus, it seems I suck as girlfriend cause our relationship is basically death...

Have you considered the idea that perhaps neither of you are prepared for a relationship, obviously death is bad. But what about these relationships that makes it like death, was it how you or your partner responded to the situation? Or was it how you resolved conflict and negotiation between each other. Don’t only consider your actions, your partner is also a key factor when looking into the problems of a relationship. Remember, for a relationship to work effectively and be healthy, both partners need to be equal to each other and work together. Being in a relationship takes a lot of time and committed effort, sometimes you have to be confidence within your own capabilities before you start looking for a relationship. Do you personally feel prepared/ready to be in a relationship?

 I know my self esteem isn’t the best, and I am starting to think that this boys know it, and they always use me...

Once again, understanding your own limits, flaws, and faults are an important part in creating a healthy stable relationship. Whilst it’s okay to have flaws, such as low-self esteem. You need to acknowledge this (which you have) and understand how this might affect your perspective and decisions on issues. Whilst the majority of individuals don’t have purposeful malicious intent, people can use others for their own gain. It is common for people who are manipulative, to pick individuals with low-self esteem. Look up the term “gaslighting”, now not all guys purposefully try to do this, nor are all guys manipulative. However, this is something you should keep in mind when considering a partner and what you wish to have with them.

 But then last weekend he told me he felt something for me, that he wanted something but he knows I have boyfriend...

This is a major warning sign, he knows that you’re in a committed relationship, yet he still decided to ask you. If he’s willing to do that for you, who says he isn’t willing to ask someone else while dating you. Plus, it shows that he didn’t consider your current relationship. In other words, a lack of relationship boundaries and respect are being shown through this action.

 I look like a little girl, naive, sweet, etc. And because of that, everyone thinks I need protection...

Whilst it isn’t a bad thing to appear naïve/sweet, and even if you wanted to change this you could adjust your behavior to act as an independent and strong individual. But it does mean that due to your appearance, people might take advantage of you. This doesn’t mean that you should treat everyone as an enemy or as a dangerous foe, but it is something you should consider. Remember this, but don’t actively refer to it unless you need to or you feel doubtful (like in this current situation)

 He told me that if I give him a chance, by the end of January I will be in love with him...

He’s placing a time limit? That again, is another major warning sign. Falling in love takes time and lots of meaningful interactions, by him saying this, he sounds overly confident that he will win your love. He can’t guarantee a time limit on your feelings, he is essentially trying to win you over by making a deal with you. This isn’t how you treat your partner or person who you have interest with, you slowly form a relationship together. Not make a bet and rush into it.

 He told me my relationship with my boyfriend wasn’t healthy or even a relationship...

Regardless of whether it’s true or not, he has no right to say that her relationship with her current boyfriend isn’t healthy.  It would be different if he said something like “I’m worried about your relationship with X because he does a, b, and c, which makes me think he’s using you.” When he says “your relationship with X isn’t healthy or even a relationship, he’s trying to assert that it’s a fact when he might not know all the details of her relationship with the boyfriend.  If he said the second variant, then he’s putting it on himself by saying “I feel this way, though I recognize that it might not actually be the case. I just want to know that you’re okay.” But once again, another warning sign since he’s pushing his perspective onto you. Without considering your feelings or opinion, he’s being overly assertive. This isn’t a good thing; a relationship requires the judgement of both yourself and your partner. Without considering your perspective, this sets you up for a codependent relationship.

 I’ve been through this a few times...

Take your past experiences as an indication of what people might try and do in these situations. Learn from the past and most importantly your mistakes. If you felt dodgy previously, then that should give you an individuation of now.

 So now I’m confused, and I don’t know if I should give him a chance. I low-key feel he is using me...

If you ever feel that someone is using you, then they must have given off some signals to give you that impression.  Always trust your instinct if you feel like someone’s being shady, because it’s your mind’s way of trying to tell you that someone’s words and actions don’t quite line up.

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 Third Section...

Now, as always you don’t have to take our advice. This is completely your decision, and you should make the decision that feels right and comfortable. With this, if you do decide to give him a chance. There are just a few things I’ll like to add…

Know your limits: if you don’t feel comfortable or secure in saying/doing something, don’t do it. Learn your limits and come to understand what you are personally okay with.

Look at warning signs, if he starts being physically, verbally, or emotionally abusive. Leave the relationship as soon as possible. The longer you stay with him, the harder it becomes to break it off.

Know some basically manipulation techniques (foot-in-door-technique, warning signs, guilt tripping), guilt tripping is especially important as your low-self-esteem would support this manipulation.

Always ask the opinion of others when you feel confused, getting more external advice and opinion can help clear away a bias or uncertain perspective.

Stay safe, you are responsible for your own health and care. Please take the time to take care of your own well being.

Don’t be afraid to say no, no means no. No matter what the situation is. 

I apologies if this ask was answered late, but hopefully I’ve covered everything that could help you with this situation. Hopefully this reaches you in time and that you can feel more secure in making your decision.

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Mod Chef