(hopefully did this right? we’ll see)
i was tagged by @escapesos, @clumsyclifford, @lukehummingbirdz, and @simp4calum to do this guy! so thnx pals <3
haven’t been online much to know who has done this yet so I’m gonna tag @kaleidoscopeminds, @calumcest, @mashlums, and anybody else still wanting to give it a go :)
here’s the link to do ur own !!!
alright and now onward with my rambling :))))
1. 1989 (deluxe edition) - taylor swift: picking a taylor album was HARD and ultimately 1989 probably isn’t even my favorite taylor album but its the one with the most impact in my life i think. i have this insanely clear memory of sitting in my car the first time i heard ‘wonderland’ and ‘clean’ and just crying like a BABY. up to that point it had been the biggest leap and risk she had taken in her sound and it was just such a joy to step into the planning of a new phase of my life with this album playing in the background. i had always been a taylor fan but for some reason this was the first of her albums (likely due a lot to age but eh) that i heard myself and my experiences in.
2. meet you there tour live - 5 seconds of summer: so (perhaps?) oddly enough this was actually the 5sos album that got me here into this space online. their first two records just didn’t really end up on my radar and while i loved youngblood when it dropped earlier that year, there was something missing in the sound of it at the time to really pull me into the band and their fanbase. and then i got babylon (live) our national anthem on a discover weekly or something and just FELL IN LOVE. like listened to this album only for probably 3 months straight fell in love. 5sos has been the first band whose fanbase i’ve found a home in and quite literally the people i’ve had the opportunity to cross paths with bc of this band are some of the only ones who have made these last six months tolerable. i’m so stupid thankful to 5sos and idk i’m kinda glad that this was the record they put out that brought me in. there’s a lot of them in this live record in a different way than their studio records.
3. BADLANDS (Live at Webster Hall) - halsey: okay anybody in the club seeing this specific choice is not even the slightest bit surprised like i am literally listening to it AS I TYPE THIS. as i’ve discussed many times with miss meg aka @kaleidoscopeminds i miss live music so much IT PAINS ME. so for one of my favorite records of all time to be released as a live concert album last month to celebrate five years since its release is basically a DREAM. the goddess that is halsey and her debut album found me at a hilariously low point in my life and it really brought me a sense of security i’ve never really gotten from another record. it’s so dreamy and LOUD and the perfect highway driving album it was such an ESCAPE. i could talk for days about this album but i’m just on another planet w this live album like she creates such a VISION w the live show for this and you can HEAR IT. more live albums 2k20
4. melodrama - lorde: our LORDE AND SAVIOR AMIRIGHT. this is another one kinda like badlands that sends me off into like a dreamland of color and sound and escape. lorde i think is only really capable of making perfect albums (perfect places amiright??? sorry). she’s such a patient and practiced artist with the way she writes both lyrics and music and it’s an album that i know i’ll be able to turn on in 40 years and just be swept back into my soph year of uni with the blink of an eye. supercut hits particularly deep but also sober and the louvre have such a youthful energy like they’re BURSTING w it.
5. modern vampires of the city - vampire weekend: so excluding the ones i got once i had my car bc i didn’t have an aux in that car, this was the last CD i think i bought with the intention to listen to it on a CD player (still objectively late for that it was 2013). my favorite music moment in like modern times is on this record. it’s at 2:42 in ‘hannah hunt’ and i think it’s just the most happy/sad piano melody i’ve ever heard. last summer i had the chance to see this band for the first time while they were touring their most recent record and it was at a taping for ACL Live and no one was allowed to have their phones out during the taping and i think it was one of the most perfect moments i’ve ever experienced. VW just makes such simply good and beautiful music and this record shows that especially.
6. bad ideas - tessa violet: tessa’s music says so many things but i think most importantly it says “you’re going to experience bad things and they might even be your fault for some reason or another but it’s okay because you will be okay and you will grow and be better for it”. her music is so much about accepting the way your brain works and using that knowledge to better yourself and your decision making rather than letting it tear you apart. i saw her last fall and all i could think about when i left the show was how important it felt for me to be there. like i had been told and seen something impactful on a personal level, not just because it was a damn good show. i suggest listening to this album front to back bc it tells a really specific and detailed story that way. i’ve learned a lot from miss tessa.
7. some nights - fun.: (god i pulled it up just to get in the zone for this one and jesus christ). so in 2012 my life changed a LOT. so much good and bad that its hard to pick out what was what but i DO KNOW that the music was incredible. in 2012 i met the first person who would break my heart (i think?), i started high school, i met some of my best friends at camp, my dad moved and i had to move into a really toxic environment, i had my first marching season, and i spent three months straight that summer listening to this record. i hear this record and i think of climbing up on the roof w my best friend to sing and laugh and watch the stars and make up stories of how amazing perfect high school was going to be. i don’t have those stories or even that friend anymore. but i have this album. it’s like 50 min of pure nostalgia and impossible to not include here. and OF COURSE it’s a jack antonoff project djfkalgfj
always saying too much and nothing at all amiright? a regular ashton irwin over here. if you actually read this ur a real trooper lol
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ALL!!!! (also the gemini sqUAD LOL)
im gonna enjoy a nice cup of water while doing this bc idk a tea (update i didnt drink water at all and now im dying of thirst,, also undercut bc many)
1: Golden mornings or peachy sunsets?
i dont wake up early enough to see the sunrise and when i do i never manage to take pics bc of school so peachy sunsets
2: Sugar cones or waffle cones?
idk what a sugar cone is but i like waffle cones!!! havent eaten ice cream with a cone in forever though,, i rarely eat ice cream now
3: Do you wear scarves often? do you have a favorite?
listen…. its about 33 degrees everyday but even if im in a colder country i dont wear scarves
4: How long do you lay in bed before you finally get up?
this depends?? on how motivated im feeling lmao never more than 10 minutes though because if i lay awake for that long ill just fall back asleep
5: Is there a food you’ve never had but always wanted to try?
i dont think so?? im bad at trying new things especially food
6: What does your umbrella look like?
i dont.. go outside often and whenever i do i take public transport so basically everythings sheltered so i never had a need for umbrellas
7: Do you listen to ASMR?
ive only listened to one everybody please listen to this gift
8: Rain storms or a light drizzle?
both, preferably when im indoors
9: What’s a little thing in life that you love?
hm??????????? my tags lmao
UPDATE: i also really like reading other people’s tags and their rambles that is all
10: Favorite color aesthetic?
does the word aesthetic make this question any different from a normal favourite colour question???? if it doesnt then sky blue
11: Wobbly lines or using a ruler?
in this house we draw lines with no ruler like men (but also because even if i did use a ruler it wouldnt be like… straight idk i cant use rulers
12: Bright colorful living room or neutral cozy living room?
neutral cozy living room but i also love basking in sunlight
13: Do you have any candles? what scents are they?
im not a big fan of heavy smelling products so i dont own any candles
14: Have you ever rode a horse?
i dont think so??????? ive seen horses before though
15: Do you have glasses?
without my glasses i wouldnt be able to read these questions lmao and . .. theyre also a result of watching pokemon too closely to the tv at a young age… its been like 10 years since i got glasses
16: What’s a language you’d like to speak?
japanese i tried speaking it but i got 2 embarrassed to say anything properly while i was in japan (i cant even speak english properly to a friend whyd i think i could speak another language to a stranger beats me)
17: What’s your favorite season and favorite month in that season?
my singaporean no season ass: ? but autumn and november (is this cutting it too close to winter? idk my seasons)
18: Do you have a favorite pair of socks?
hm not really i just wear blue ankle socks a lot but my friend did give me a pair of pokemon and gudetama socks before and i adore those although i lost the gudetama ones in the uk last year she got me another pair whatd i do to deserve her?
19: Favorite Ghibli and/or disney movie
m .. um? big. hero 6??????
20: Disney, Dreamworks, or Pixar?
my dumb ass didnt know they were different
21: What snacks do you usually get at the theater?
i rarely go and watch movies anymore but when i did watch a lot of movies with my friend at the theater we’d get afternoon shows and sneak mcdonalds in lmao
22: What’s an underrated video game/ movie/ show you love and think it needs more recognition?
how about band? day6 i only ever play pokemon + sif + bandori so i cant say much and i rarely watch movies and a show? if its an anime id say the one i mentioned before in my one text post
23: Would you fill your house with plants if you had a green thumb?
not really rip
24; All plants are great but do you have a favorite?
HM mmmmmm there was this one but i forgot the name lmao pass
25: Do you have a favorite type of art style? (eg: soft looking, no to little color, sketches, crisp and clean, minimalist, pixel art etc.)
when im the … audience? what do u call it???? i like seeing all kinda of art styles!!! everyone has their own unique art style and i love it all :o
for ME,, , ive been doing art for 6 years maybe and i still cant do shit
26: What would you do if someone gave you flowers?
i would die straight up die thats such a soft concept i cant imagine myself receiving flowers thats 2 sweet oh my god wtf id combust??? i prefer leaves though is that weird i picked some nice leaves recently and im gonna give those to my friends
27: Do you like nicknames?
giving and having nicknames is my favorite past time
28: Do you still watch shows you watched when you were a kid? even from time to time?
pokemon lmao thank u 4 not ending it…. the animation has only improved and im so proud to have been watching it since the start pokemon is my special thing i love it so much!! an interest that never died down, with an anime that stays super like idk to my preference? i tried watching the new digimon stuff but i just couldnt :^( im glad they made ash stay the main character
29: Do you still like old memes? (tell the truth)
never forget dat boi
30: Favorite Halloween costume you dressed up as? (if you don’t celebrate halloween have you ever cosplayed or would you like to? who did you cosplay as?)
we dont celebrate halloween and i would never cosplay, big shoutout to cosplayers though!!! they put in so much effort and just, respect!!!!!
i dont know if this is an actual memory because i dont remember well but when i was younger i thiNK? i had to dress up as a swan thing i have no clue i dont even remember the performance but i might have had to ?? and dance??? or act i dont remember everythings fuzzy but i dressed up a swan once? in kindergarten ?????
31: Are you a fashionable person?
i have the worst fashion sense and even though jeans are nice once again the weather here doesnt allow me to be as fashionable as i can be
32: Do you like watching holiday movies?
not realyyy??? the jack frost (rip) movie was ncie????
33: Cookies or brownies?
i live 4 chocolate chip cookies but too much is . . not preferable
34: Do you blow in the cold air just to see your breath?
no i hate breathing in & out from my mouth
35: Do you find the crickets chirping outside your window relaxing?
WELL from the great cockroach ordeal last night id probably die bc we live in an apartment building so the only way id be hearing crickets would be if they were in the ROOM
36: Do you like cobblestone streets?
my only knowledge of cobblestone is from minecraft so idk
37: How often do you doodle?
when school was still relevant i would doodle as soon as i picked up a pencil lmao i try not to anymore bc i doodled on my math assignment and forgot to fucking erase it and my math teacher called me out
38: When was the last time you blew bubbles?
a year ago?? i dont remember but i do remember when i was younger id try and blow bubbles at the void deck do yall kno what that is its just a space near the lift lobby anyway i swallowed the soap thing idk u know how ur supposed to blow? well i sucked the soap in yum
39: What’s your favorite random piece of decor in your house and room?
in my room its the bed and in the house its the water bottle that contains water
40: Do you bite your fingernails off or clip them more often?
i………………………… i dont actualy kno how to clip my nails and my mum would kill me if i tried but i dont bite my nails either
41: Any birthmarks?
not that i know of
42: Thoughts on freckles?
ive never actually seen someone with freckles in public before but theyre good stuff i gueess?? i dont actually have an opinion on them? everyone says theyre cute and all but im just ??? not that i hate freckles tho if u have freckles? thats cool!
43: First video game you ever played?
pokemon pearl?? either that or megaman on my ps3 OR the bomb square guy????? idk the game name but.. ya
44: what type of bird do you hear most often outside your door?
i dont know what the bird species are but theyre small black birds not crows idk
45: Do you use gifs/ memes a lot when replying to people?
memes yes gifs no bc im not lame like jen
46: Thoughts on spring?
no comment?? i mean? its nice??????? i guess ??? if we had a spring
47: Ideal temperature outside?
oh boy 20 degrees would be enough for me but its never gotten that low before sunny island’s life
48: Cloudy, partly cloudy, or clear skies?
i like clear skies when its bright! but not too sunny and not too warm!!!!! clouds are nice to look at too though
49: How often do you hear airplanes outside?
yeah we live near an airport i dont think anybody uses????
50: Do you enjoy windy days?
windy days are my SHIT back in school our basketball court was open spaced and whenevr wind blew we could feel it man thats the life right there but i hate windy days when im sitting at home bc it flows the curtains rigth into my face i like the feel of the wind and the smell of fresh air but… curtains in my face? not 2 great so rip i close all the windows lmao
okay thank u so much 4 asking falen i love you and wow this was a lot
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lmao ok its like almost 1am and i gotta sleep but um ok maybe i shouldnt say the bombings “isn’t entirely justified”, cause it isn’t justified. at all. have to say i didnt make that clear, my fault, but at the same time, lol it isnt the point of my posts. anyways, i dont know their trauma, and i make no attempts talking about their trauma. but ive seen documentaries. ghost of people casted on broken radiated stones cause they are pulverized at the centre of a nuclear explosion, horrific scars on survivors’ bodies, the trauma materializing in popular culture in the form of monster--trauma thats probably never gonna be healed. Japanese folks sure arent silent about their trauma and the horrific aftermath of the bombings, and the world listened. you all sure are passionated abt talking abt their trauma, for some reason. that post about gozilla got like 100k notes lmao. ive seen multiple posts about how unjustified the bombings are during my time here. is it bc u all are into anime and watched grave of fireflies? lol?
u know i know large size national traumas caused by war...are not comparable, i dont wanna talk abt what happened to nanking, or other places or regions during sino japanese war. its not comparable. but u all think i dont know and i dont care what happened to hiroshima and nagasaki? i know and i cared! for the longest time i didnt know how to feel abt it, any of it. but also im tired of seeing japanese folks using their own trauma to play the victim mentality, positioning themselves as victims of WWII when they 100% aren’t lol. I’m tired of nobody caring about that, since while they are playing victim mentality, Japanese war criminals are being honoured as heroes, the Japanese government still refuses to make a apology about the invasion they wouldn’t retract afterwards, and japanese imperalism is still alive in Japan! japanese history textbooks are imbedded with worrying messages, and dude! i didnt came up with these, people whos gone to Japan and studied Japanese history curriculum did! They are documentaries (in Chinese tho) about how Japanese history textbook refuses to call their invasion of China (and probably other asian countries like korea etc), an “invasion”. There are questions asking the kids if Japan would win against China when the country engage China in a 100 years from now. Not IF there would be an engagement. the premise of the question is that there will be another conflict!
i said my great grandpa died in nanking massacre. he most likely did. (u know they spread news abt the massacre after it happened, in America. it probably just helped Americans to justify their ultimate engagement with imperial Japan’s military after pearl harbour happened) idk how long, probably two years ago, my mom told me about grandma. she told me that my great grandpa went to Nanking to run some errands, right after he went, grandma and her sisters lost contact with him and the city’s gate shuts down--the massacre begins. My grandpa was never heard of again. My mom said, “we couldn’t even find his body”. There are too many mass graves in nanking, no one could find anybody’s bodies, esp an insignificant person like my great grandpa who isnt a permanent residence of the city. i asked my mom, “so he got killed by the japanese?”. my mom said “well yeah, probably.” so no, im not sure abt it, but i dont have to have a great grandfather dying in the massacre to justify my anger abt the massacre and japan’s continuous denial of the massacre. It’s national pain, it’s national trauma too. However, for a while i actually like to think that he didnt died at the hands of japanese. I thought that, its entirely possible he just abandoned my grandma and his sisters and run away in the middle of chaos. even now, i thought that, maybe i misheard what my mom said. maybe my mom misheard from grandma. a while ago, folks in China were being foolish and boycotting Japanese products. Irrational and unproductive hate tbh, and boycotting Japanese brands only wreck Chinese economy cause none of these products being sold in China are produced in Japan lol. I didn’t wanna be one of these people giving to unproductive hate and irrational anger. but seems like, thats really above me. Anyways, theres a lot of speculations, but what i do know is that grandma had a hard life without the main financial support (my great grandpa) in her life. she lived in poverty all her life, travelled from shanghai all the way to beijing for work. never get the education she deserves, was a factory worker her whole life.
i thought abt grandma a lot these days. my grandma died on 4th of july, 2006. its been 11 years today (or rather, yesterday, in my time zone). i realize i couldnt even remember much of her voice or face, and that makes me incredibly sad. i was gonna talk abt missing her and about the whole legacy of 2nd sino japanese war during WWII, at one point. But i guess its gonna be today at 1am lol--seems like an awkward time to do that since i just went the fuck off on tumblr dot com lmao. i wanted to go off abt this whole thing for at least a year now tho lmao. hope grandma wouldn’t mind i start thinking about all these after my mom revealed bits of info about her life. i miss her a lot and i wished i could have known her better, but there wasn’t enough time.
this is a mass of disorganized rambling and i dont even know where to begin to tag triggers for this post.....idk maybe dont read idk
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