i know there's friends to lovers and enemies to lovers but dang it if i don't love exes to lovers.

Hi I’m thinking about you mentioning the other day fem!armand knocking up fem!lestat <3 idc if she’s actually knocking her up or roleplay breeding kink or whatever but! Armand fucking her against every surface in every position so that it’ll take <3 (missionary has the best chance of conceiving but who’s to say that all the extra effort isn’t helping)

Oh hi, hello 🥹❤️

Okay, cards on the table in case some people didn't catch that post LOL that was me discovering that female omegaverse exists, and when I tell you I was scandalized.

So I mean, if we're talking omegaverse, then yes it's for real. I just think they'd have such beautiful kids! And they have both experienced so much trauma and abandonment since childhood, so there's so much room to explore that in depth with this sort of thing -- I'm sucker for it!

Lestat in heat would be such a nightmare, can you even imagine? Whining and crying and begging for it and seemingly never satisfied, just can't get enough, the most demanding little princess! 🫢 And yes of course, so many positions but always ending in missionary with a pillow tucked beneath her lower back, Armand helping Lestat hold her knees to her chest until she's content that enough time has passed.

Thinking just roleplay though... I'm always a little embarrassed to bring up my own fics even though I'm proud of them, but idk if you read the breeding kink chapter my Armand/Daniel AU Our House? Because THAT, but for fem!Lestat, because she deserves it. 🥹

Do you have any tips for getting into/making sims stories? (Idk what to call them lol, but like your strangersville story), and tips for taking posed screenshots because I’m struggling-

Hello, friend! 🤗

I am so genuinely flattered that you would ask me for advice. I'll admit, I've only been officially on simblr for a little over a year and I'm just getting a groove in posting, so I'm still learning about the storytelling format and posing aspect, too. Here are some really great posts that helped me:

@seaslugsims: Storytelling Resources Part 1

and Storytelling Resources Part 2

Storytelling Tips and Tricks thread started by @citylighten (Check the reblogs on this one - so many amazing, experienced creators have weighed in on their personal tips and tricks)

I hate posing sims, but I've found that it just takes practice and patience. @ts4-poses is a great resource blog for finding poses because it is organized into categories, making finding a specific pose less overwhelming. Put all the sims you need for a story post in the same household so you have full control of them all. Ravasheen's ISO Camera for in-game photos is what dreams are made of because the photos always come out perfect and no one has to be behind the camera to take the picture. When taking photos using the tab key, take them from multiple angles so you have a lot of options when editing your posts.

I also would say don't be afraid to just keep asking for advice! If you see a post you like, don't be afraid to ask someone how they did it! I've learned so much just by going to creators like "Hey, this post you made was so great... what editing do you use? Do you use a reshade/gshade shader? Do you resize photos?" You can learn a lot from others, and over time with practice (and a lot of trial and error) you will gain your footing and develop a style of your own!

Now, onto where I have personal experience: getting into stories and making stories! For me personally, a good story is all about characters and world building. Because simblr stories give you an opportunity to show varying perspectives and focus on more than one character's viewpoint (kind of like a comic or TV show), you can best take advantage of that by writing in-depth characters you love (or love to hate, lol). Knowing the setting and how the characters fit into that setting is really the backbone of any good story, and if you care about the details and you care about those characters, your audience will feel that! Also knowing what you like to write helps, too! I like sci-fi, fantasy, and coming of age; I like mysteries and love stories are my lifeblood (I'm a hopeless romantic); and I am a sucker for a good found family trope... so that's what I write! You'll never catch me writing horror stories full of loss, or adult romance stories, nor am I gonna pop out a teen drama (yk like Degrassi-esque or Disney Channel) or something cutting-edge/dark/with a strong visual aesthetic (like Euphoria) because I know that's not my thing (and editing is not my strength - I would HATE spending hours editing posts where some others might love that part of the process. I don't write or create something because I think it will be popular or on-trend or garner viewership (even though wanting validation is not a bad thing imo) I just create to create. I create using my strengths first, and I would recommend you write to your strengths and don't feel like you have to rush the process.

My biggest piece of advice is that if you have a story to tell, tell it! Trust me, someone (or a lot of someones) will love it. You may only get a few views at first, or it may take off right from the jump, but regardless your story is worth telling. Start by just opening a google doc and jotting down ideas as they come to you until one sticks. Don't be afraid to shelf what doesn't work or what you're not feeling any more. My Strangerville story was not my first venture on simblr, but it is the only one I have loved enough to keep up with.

Lastly, please let me know when you do put your story out there. You've already got one fan!!! 📣💕

9 People You Would Like to Get to Know Better

Thank you @marbled-polecat for the tag!

Three ships: I very much enjoy Cody/Rex and am a sucker for Waxer/Boil. As for a third...IDK...the Millennium Falcon?

First ever Ship: Monaboyd, kind of. They were definitely the first ship I wrote, but I always did it as a sort of proto-slash...where people could infer it if they liked. What I loved about them (and still do) is the depth and weirdness of their friendship. It's beautiful and silly and an utter delight.

Last Song: The Crooked Kind by Radical Face. I heard it in an episode of Elementary last night and a particular lyric caught my ear, so I was listening in the car while running an errand.

Last Movie: Pretty sure it was The Flash.

Currently Reading: a whole lot of fic

Currently Consuming: I just finished a bowl of small shells with sauce from a restaurant from my home town.

Currently Craving: a trip to the chiropractor

I'm tagging: @hawthornsword, @kartaylirnaak, @brokenphoenix99 and...wow....nine is a lot...

[I've been saying nice things for other ppl all day, I think I deserve a tiny one 😤 *slams dunks mine* Pwease. ]

Send me a url and I'll write some positivity for it.

mate, MATE -

do u know how much of a slut i am for well-rounded, well-written, interesting, GRITTY oc characters set in lowkey grungy / alt takes on existing worlds? it's my fucking JAM baby and you flavour that jam like it's the good strawberry shit ( funny, cause u the best chef i know - youre the only chef i know but shhhhussshh ).

i love jae so goddamn much that everytime i see you on my dash, im just fuckin lapping that shit up like it's the good cush. your writing, for starters - is golden. the way you describe things, the way you read the world, the way you portray jae. i'm such a sucker for emotionally complex characters. character's who aren't just /good/.

i feel like so many people fall into a trap of making all of their characters 'good' regardless of their alignment. people will take villains and turn them good because they can't help but reflect their own personal beliefs onto them but i love that with jae, you don't shy away from giving him aspects of his personality that aren't good. you make him complex, interesting. you give him a depth that only a talented writer can give a character; i always find myself interested in his next move, his opinion, his past and how it effects him / has him think. i'm very intrigued by the way you write him because i see a character with /layers/ ( like shrek fr fr bussin ).

(( also, like making heid his dog? fucking 10/10 top tier move pls bound and gag heid and use him for just his dick/ass cause lets be real thats all hes good for ok bye ))

as for you, MY FRIEND, you're always such a delight to chat with. i love how fuckin tough you are; how NO SHIT you be, i find that shit inspiring - you're always a joy to chat ideas and interests with. yknow how fantastic it is to speak to someone whose uncensored and open-minded about the world and the things in it? it feels very liberating to me to be able to chat more extreme ideas or inspirations ( animu friend ) with somebody without feeling any kind of like, idk, discomfort or uncertainty? you're a joy to speak to and i think you're very cool - genuinely, a cool ass mothafucka-

ur dope

ooo ok idk if CYMs are allowed in here but

🪑 (chair) — come talk with me! i don’t have any ask games in mind, so come annoy me however you see fit <3.

maybe as ur playlists? bc u have some very cool names for them

omg,,,,,, your mIND is impossibly big for this, bestie!!!! i am a sucker for a good cym and nothing will bring me back to my tumblr rot than one of these bad boys <33

disclaimer that my memory has never been worse when it comes to who falls under the "mutual" category. i might forget some of you and i'm so sorry for that 😔✌️

@destourtereaux is despite everything, there is light (it's all my like,,,, soft core kpop that i listen to when i'm #overwhelmed on a monday evening and still have so much to do even though i'm so done with life itself. it's the perfect balancing act between a pick me up and a cradling hug that doesn't ask me to be okay,,, just get through <3) alternatively; we burn just like stars

@musicallisto is do you even dvicio? (because yeah <3 she's the only other girlie who understands the dvicio brainrot <3 also i heard a rumor that literally all of their love songs are written about her???? and like,,, i can confirm it's true. there's no better subject material for love songs than clara <3) alternatively; summer borne seconds? i only have 5. also; though their lips sound of things done

@amortensie is sing because you just need to sing (it's literally just musicals <3 nixie is that theatre kid out of all my mutuals and she should be immensely proud of that <3. also, there's so many different genres held within that behemoth of a playlist and nixie has multitudes and depth that we might never expect <3) alternatively; mele

@genyakosstyk is the haole boys know how to make good beats on occasion (this one is just a collection of white boy artists (hapa haole included!!!) and idk why i'm giving it to lottie, tbh. i just feel like she'd lovingly roast my occasional, misguided brainrot over objectively average white men like alec benjamin, but also let it happen and learn the lyrics to support me. it's a playlist i listen to when i want to tap into the teenage me who had a favorite backstreet boy, okay? ooooohhh... you know what? maybe this association came about because i associate lottie with &juliet... and they have a lot of white pop on that list.... yeah. i think that's it.) alternatively; six of crows radio

@bright-molina is summer borne seconds? i only have 5. (it's a 5SOS playlist. i think the association explains itself.) alternatively; stealing elias goldstein's headphones

@heliads is do i want roses? only if they sound like this. (it's a collection of music by the k-band the rose and i just,,,,,,, there's nothing more comforting in this whole wide world <3. why do i associate it with lisa? i mean,,, it's not a 1-1 association since i don't think lisa knows the rose exists, but i feel like their ~sound~ fits her vibes <3) alternatively; i am the sea or i am nothing

@oceanspray5 is heavy are the mountains; heavy the seas (this one is my like,,,, indie folk pop playlist. at least i think that's what the genre is...? the sound for of monsters and men. the oh hellos. the lumineers. idk why other than the sound fits the aesthetic of iffah's blog.) alternatively; a little parenthesis in eternity

@noesapphic is the dark of getting it (it's my secret agent au playlist. self explanatory vibes <3) alternatively; cantar

@the-radio-star is perhaps i am digging his grave (one of my oldest, most robust, and beloved playlist <3. it's arguably a lot of genres but it scratches the same itch of ~ooooooohhhh,,,, i'm dark and angsty and arguably a mess but also a bad bitch on alternating wednesdays~) alternatively; saranghae but it's a mournful yeehaw

@permanentreverie is bts mayhaps? (i think this one explains itself <3 but also!!!!!!!!!! bts changed me and so does lindsay. daily. not always for the better of society, but alas. change can never be contained to one linear direction <3) alternatively; thirteen of them but they take up seventeen places in my heart and; this world rests beneath a blood red sky

@biqherosix is tomorrow? girl, only if we're together (i don't think daniza knows txt - if you don't, this is my not so silent plea for you to give them a listen - but literally the vibes align so perfectly. she and txt get each other, they just don't know it yet. listen to 0x1=LOVESONG and tell me daniza wouldn't just,,,,, go feral to that song. also Lo$er=Lo♡er) alternatively; the haole boys know how to make good beats on occasion

@johnskeating is CELESTIAL (for obvious reasons (to her at least) that i will not disclose and neither will anyone else under threat of death <3. but also, it's a collaborative playlist with a lot of summer-adventures-with-your-best-friends vibes and that's cass <3) alternatively; all that's beyond my grasp

Same anon here and please, pop off about ryuuzaki, anytime. Especially paralleled to Doumeki. I was rereading vol 5 and 6 (let me tell you that I needed that bc I'm so dumb that this is the first time that I noticed that the yakuza who was caught having sex with Y and expelled HAS A SCAR IN THE SAME CHEEK AS D. I lost my mind,,,,) and in the official translation of my country there a difference that made me connect by contrast R and D.

In the eng trl that you can find online, when Y and R talk in the police car after R was rescued (and arrested), R first thinks "if you were a women, I would have protected you" and this is the same in my copy of the manga BUT a few pages later in my version R thinks "if I died, I wouldn't want him to know" and "if he protects me, I can't take care of him" VS "you'll find out over my dead body!" and "I can't believe he is the one protecting me!" in the eng vers.

The meaning may be somewhat the same but DAMN, the feeling behind it is radically heavier in my version.

I like better my country's version just because at the beginning of vol 6 when doumeki realises that he has been left behind and finds the two cleaners, the same words came up. D says "take me to the boss because I am the only one who can protect me, you wouldn't be able to" and the cleaner scoffs at him "you are the one who is been protected" -and that is the same in the online eng translation. That's something good to chew on, at least for me.

THAT SAID (I am very verbose, I am sorry), tysm for your in depth response at my last ask, it was a super good read and after thinking about it, I agree to your points. Especially because kou Yoneda is a master of silent storytelling, I'm always in awe of her use of silent panels. Her pure visual storytelling is where the worst sucker punches come from. Sometimes more subtle than others, you are right about that, but still very very much a storytelling choice.

hi anon, i'm glad you enjoyed my reply to your last ask, and thank you for giving me more food for thought! i do want to talk about ryuzaki at some point, both in general and specifically the parallels between him and doumeki. i'd need to reread some parts to refresh my memory and take a closer look at him first tho. ryuzaki's one of the characters who i wasn't paying super close attention to initially, but he grew on me over time, in a weird way. like moss

putting some stuff regarding translation and other things under read more (for my poor followers' dashboard experiences sake)

i looked at the original text for the part you're talking about, and i want to say that the translation you have in your version is closer to the original. it's something like "if i died, i wouldn't want him to know [about the stupid thoughts i had back then]" in reference to ryuzaki wanting to protect yashiro if he was a woman. no idea how to put the other sentence nicely in english (the one about how ryuzaki can't take care of yashiro if he's the one being protected), but again, your version seems to be more accurate, and it nicely parallels the part with doumeki. also worth noting that ryuzaki isn't exactly throwing "!" in his internal monologue here at the end of the sentences, and in the drama cd for that part he sounds pretty calm and i guess just… sad. i've noticed some punctuation changes in the translation before and they shift the tone slightly, guess it's one of those cases. wish i had junemanga's translation on hand, but i can't buy it because my country sucks (might ask a friend to buy me the digital version at some point, but idk if it's worth it since there's a lot of mistranslations in it based on what i've seen)

all that being said, my japanese isn't exactly great, neither is my english if we're being honest, so while i can point out and check some things here and there i am definitely not an expert when it comes to translation and i'm only like 70% confident in what i'm saying. just wanted to talk about this because you made me curious and i never bothered to compare the texts for this part before. and i still really appreciate all the work actual translators put in, even if there are some inconsistencies or differences here and there

moving on from the translation stuff - if you get involved with yashiro in some way i guess you're destined to get a cut on the cheek, because nanahara got one recently as well. we only see yashiro slapping the band-aid over it, so idk how the actual cut looks and there might be nothing much to it, but it's still a neat little detail

don't have much to say regarding the visual story telling, i agree with you, it's great, some of the best pages have no words on them, i'm obsessed with yoneda kou's art and she's been a huge inspiration for me since i got into saezuru. love her work so so so much

but yeah, uh, thank you again for the ask, both the previous and this one, i love having an excuse to blabber about saezuru or go look at specific scenes/chapters! going to think real hard about ryuzaki and try to organize my thoughts about him and write up something in the future

15 questions, 15 tags

i was tagged by my dear @unclewaynemunson :)) thank you lovely!

(also please excuse my lengthy answers, i get really excited and write a lot lmfao- and some of the answers vaguely mention shitty parenting, not in depth but it is brought up if anyone gets uncomfy by that! (questions 2 & 3 specifically :p)

1. Are you named after anyone? nope! my Government Name™️ is amethyst, like the stone, but my ma just thought it was cool :p i prefer aj or ham, though! i do say that aj stands for apple juice, so i guess i could be named after apple juice :pp

2. When was the last time you cried? friday! i heard really sad news regarding how my younger brothers are being parented by my biodad and it! hurt to realize he's not breaking his cycle :,)

3. Do you have kids? nope! but i do treat my oldest younger brother(the 18yo i write about a lot) like he's my son bc we had some Rough Moments™️ as kids where i was like the parent

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? yes! but a lot of people don't realize it #thankyouautism

5. What's the first thing you notice about people? oooo,,,,,, it really depends? i really stare at people's lips bc i have auditory processing issues,, and apparently i recognize people based on their mouths?? but im inclined to say eyes because i like them? idk,,, lips or eyes!

6. What's your eye color? i have centralized heterochromia! (like a big portion of people tbh, but i still think it's neat) so my eyes are like,, hazel? but not green hazel, they're grey! on the outside part at least, and the inside is like a golden brown :p

7. Scary movies or happy endings? this is hard!! i really fucking love scary movies,, all of my favorite movies are scary! but i'm a sucker for a happy ending,,, i think,,,, i may have to go scary though!

8. Any special talents? idk if it's a talent but i can macrame necklaces? and i know spanish(fairly fluently, i'm really shy with it though), and am learning asl, which i think is pretty talented?? i also can decorate a cake?(pretty basically, but i know how to do some shitty roses and write!)

9. Where were you born? chicago! (indiana tho, it's like 15 minutes away from where i was born)

10. What are your hobbies? writing, drawing, watching tv, engaging with my local bdsm & queer community!! and getting tattoos and piercings<333 (i have 27 tattoos and like,,, 17? 18 piercings? idk anymore)

11. Do you have any pets? yes! i have one cat, my sweet lady Miss Rizz! i had a cat named flamer who recently had to take his forever sleep, and i miss him dearly. <3 (i'm writing a fic vaguely surrounding this idea that hopefully will be done this weekend!)

12. What sports do you play/have you played? none :)))))) unless you count,,, fishing?

13. How tall are you? i'm 5'8! which is around 173cm for my non american buddies :,)))))

14. Favorite subject in school? languages! i took four years of spanish, one of asl, and i adored my english classes! also, art and painting! and anatomy & physiology, and pathophysiology :) i'm a big human body nerd lmao (also i'm aware i shouldve chosen one but i have too many favorites to choose just one!)

15. Dream job? good question! i'm not sure, honestly. i always say being a piercer, but i tend to get bored rather quickly of jobs and i change a lot, hence why i know how to decorate cakes but also can tell you which alarm companies have a better monitoring service, and can also make a mean ass from-scratch smash burger. i think that when i went to college(i dropped out) my dream job was being a pathologist, and i honestly think that i might still want to do that? but owning a queer run/servicing primarily queer people piercing studio sounds really fucking enticing. i could go on a whole thing about body affirming piercing and the effect it has on queer people, and how we have modern day american piercing thanks to our queer predecessors, but that's nerdy and not what the question asked! so, final answer: either a pathologist, or an owner of a queer piercing shop :p

thank you so much for reading if you did!

i'm gonna tag @cheatghost @punkharringtxn @someforeignband @courtjestermunson @corrodedcorpses @riality-check @rhaenyyras @legitcookie @princessstevemunson @sidekick-hero @babygirlharrington @fagsculinity @harmonictechnicality @strawberryspence and anyone else who wants to do this! you can tag me <3

its always those bitches you sink (looks at how long the victorious videos were) 13 hours into

and like. i'm a sucker for extensive video essays on shit i never cared deeply about so i'm part of the problem. but ur really gonna make a 13 hour video on teen media, getting in depth with the relationships and all that shit, and then act like ur morally superior here? idk man

What do you like about both men and women? 🥰

(P.s I adore your blog, slightly embarrassing how obsessed with it I am🫣)

Oh boy howdy how much time do you have? lol how in-depth of an answer are you lookin for here? I'm gonna roll with "ted talk"

What don't I like?

For men I tend to like more masculine guys. Sort of your 'himbo' types. "Soft"er masculine--if he's like hostile "masc for masc" it's just gonna kill the vibe. Physically, I've got a soft spot for rugby builds. Body type is significantly less important than personality though. I've played a lot of sports and can get along with sporty guys well and enjoy the camaraderie and competitive types. I love men who show how you can be a stereotypical Dude™ but be kind and caring people. While that's more my type, I am constantly wowed by men who aren't. I think it's confident--but not douchey--men that catch my eye. Peacocky femme guys always wow me. I think it's taking something I don't really identify with and rocking it that's so appealing.

For both men and women I like sparring partners, so-to-speak. I like competitive people, witty people, I love good banter. If we can rib each other and have push and pull I'm all in. I like people who keep me on my toes.

Physically for men and women I am a sucker for brown eyes. I also tend to go for dark hair, but it's not a major deciding factor.

For women, I definitely have a type. I really like fiery women. Love a woman who could kick my ass. Again, I think it's a confidence and self-assuredness (or at least stubbornness) that's attractive. I tend to like more feminine women--there is something captivating about someone taking female femininity, something I never really related to, and making it theirs. But naturally, there are also masculine women I find appealing. I'll get blindsided by a super masculine butch and be just in awe. Do I wanna be you? Do I wanna be with you? I do not know, but please, let me get the door for you, sir. Physically, I do enjoy being taller, but tall women are also really hot.

Androgynous people are so fascinating to me. I don't really understand how they pull it off, and the confusion is strangely appealing.

And naturally this is all without getting into men who are women and women who are men and people who are both or neither. Gender fuckery is very attractive. Taking the things you like and discarding what you don't and rocking it is wildly appealing.

Idk, I think a wide range of men and women are attractive. Masculine. Feminine. Androgynous. I won't always be aware of what catches my eye physically until I see them, and longer-term attraction tends to come down a lot more to how we interact. There are incredibly beautiful people that I cannot think of a single thing to say to. There are really attractive people who are such assholes that I can't find them attractive anymore. I'm not snobby enough to suggest being something like "sapiosexual" or anything similar, but while I find plenty of people physically attractive, an unpleasant personality just fucks it up for me, whereas someone less physically my type being fun and cool will always win out.

If the person is funny, kind, and has a sharp wit then they're suddenly the sexiest person on the planet to me.

If you're cool then I'm already a little in love with you, end of story. lol

Anyway, long story short: men and women hot.

Haha thanks for this ask! And thanks for the kind words, I'm just out here talkin to myself so I'm glad you're getting something out of it lol

hello it is i king cowboy again and i just have to say. WHAT THE FUCK. I LOVE TRIGUN. (pls lmk where i should read it if you know) I AM GOING TO READ THE MANGA. BOTH OF THEM. IN THE APPROPRIATE ORDER. AND ALSO SCREAM A LOT ABOUT VASH & NICK BC HOT DAMN I AM A SUCKER FOR PERFECT FOILS

YEEEES I'M SO GLAD TO HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN!!! Also so so happy to know you love it bc aswjgwhwhshhs SAME

For the manga, I use mangakakalot but with the preface that I also use Firefox and a bunch of add-ons to prevent ads and stuff, so idk how bad it might be without, so just be careful if you're heading there w/o an adblocker!! And enjoy :) EDITED: actually @yoshilisk is a legend and dropped some awesome info abt a fan translation and official scans in the notes so 100% listen to them!!

the manga is soooo good, it might be a little confusing on ur first read if ur like me (imo the dialogue is a little vague on who is talking and sometimes the action scenes are a little messy) but it's 100% worth it- my favorite bit is the part of the SEEDs backstory with REM and Vash because OMFG. Its very different in the anime, but the manga version adds sooo much depth to one of Vash's lines that I just: AAAA- It's great.

PLEASE talk to me about Wolfwood and Vash I absolutely have to hear more of your thoughts 👀 also, if you wanna (no pressure) you're always welcome to DM me! I'm cool with doing the ask stuff tho too- it's 100% up to you, just figured I'd offer :)

When you were piecing together this blog, was there anything that you chose to focus on first? A shift in the personality we’re presented, or a backstory to give them a depth beyond a ‘Chosen Hero’ title?

generally i tend to play more closed off characters that are kinda fighty and mean to others at first at least; the anti heros or the villain types of women usually. so i just wanted a character that, even if their past was cruel and they had a lot of pain and misfortune and suffering and maybe not the best view of themselves because of it all, they still chose good and kindness and helping people. idk. and someone more extroverted than what i usually write because god it's easier. so she ended up being made that way and i built upon it from there.

though when i originally started the blog she was a bit different and had taken up her mother's mantle instead of just on a journey to find her; which she still was, she just had a crew that did not meet a good fate. but i was told it was too much so i just took the suffering toils of lower class families and shifted to the daughter / older sister taking care of her family and their burdens and protecting her twin from the cruelty of the world when their mother disappeared. i haven't expanded upon it because i'm never sure anyone cares to know but her crew exists in a different format, one that also did not meet a good fate in one of their scams gone wrong when she was young. she's lost a lot when she was on the streets and seen cruelty and that includes people very close to her. but even through all that and even though she was a thief who even stole from her clients, she always helps people in need regardless. just not...authority figures or rich people. :')

so i just like the pain being present and instead of it turning a character to ash and fire and hatred, it turns them into a hero and someone who chooses love and compassion and light whenever she can. and someone who just loves love so fully with her entire being but also does not think she deserves it because i love those themes a lot;;;

as for the aesthetic of her it came because i just enjoy pink and this is the type of character i make in mmos lmao. she wasn't anyone i was going to rp or anything at first since i usually just raid in mmos, but my friend got me thinking of a backstory and i got attached to her as a character as i went through the story since it just is so immersive it's hard for me not to think of a character during it ?? if that make sense. sometimes i think i should remake their appearance because i've gotten a lot of flack and comments about it and i think people write them off quickly because of it but;;; idk it's kinda funny that someone in soft pastels and so beautiful can murder things much larger than themself. i'm a sucker for juxtaposition in aesthetics vs offsetting perceived expectations idk.

she's someone who loves pastels and flowers and makeup and fashion but she also just gets shitfaced at bars to cope with her feelings and past and starts bar fights for fun and has a very dangerous addiction to adrenaline rushes so...

all things i love to explore but don't often get to really. but it's themes i love that i put into her. so it all started with wanting to write a different sort of character with all the themes and things i love and snowballed from there, really.

Indifference is the killer of love. Love is more than what one has with their girlfriend or wife. Love is the investments you put into all your relationships. Even those friends who are so close you'd call them your brother or sister.

Why is it that I seem to always be the one people become indifferent towards. Why can't there just be consistent friends. I'm not talking about needing to talk every single day, but damn, it'd be nice to be able to actually have a proper conversation. I've tried checking in regularly, I've tried including them, I've continued investing and it just feels like I'm throwing everything down a bottomless pit. And they say "life just gets in the way". Meanwhile I carve out time in my life to prioritize them. Why can't an ounce of that be returned consistently. I don't mind putting in the majority effort, but it'd be nice to see some level of reciprocation.

Idk man, I'm realizing this might be a pattern and it always sparks a major depressive episode. I've had so many episodes at this point my life is falling apart. I never had enough time between them to fully recover and put my life back together again before the next one hits.

Im getting better, I think. But my lows are still pretty fucking low. Tough to be an inspiration to others when you keep realizing the new depths of just how broken you are. Broken more like a broken toy that a child throws away.

Am I just the clown of my friend group? Am I simply the entertainment? The convenient sucker who will go to war for you at a moments notice, all you need to do is look my direction? ....Am I cheap? Is this who I am? A cheap soul?

SHIDOU RYUSEI + BOYFRIEND HEADCANONS

So i have lied, perhaps it may take more than a week to finish requests I apologize for the wait also kinda dry sorry bout that includes : shidou ryusei WARNINGS : toxic ways of handling arguments A/N : my opinions only!! might be a little shorter than rin's but that's because favouritism :P anyways shawties get the party rollin' masterlist

SHIDOU RYUSEI

like and subscribe for more!! Dating this man would be a wild ride, and honestly I feel like the people of the fandom need to give him more depth than just a horny sae fan even though he is. Idk he's just special y'all but he's more than that. he's your boyfriend (for right now at least)

First and foremost, he does not put soccer above you. Sure he might've found soccer before he found you, but he can always find soccer again, but he'll never find another you. Unless you were toxic and you sucked (not referring to dick )

I honestly feel like with this boy you're your own person. he will never compare you to his ex, even if something you do reminds him of them. For example, if you knew how to score a goal the way Isagi does he wouldn't tell you that you kicked like isagi. because y'know why do you need to know that?

I do feel that he tells you to not 'get you panties in a knot' unironically. Like if he catches you going through the most minor of conveniences he'll say it straight up. unless you want him to stop because then he will.

I absolutely headcanon that his man is probably a former or still a gifted kid. Like absolutely just looking at him gives me burnout kid vibes. However if you ever need help on your homework then he will help you. Except for geometry because that's just weird.

movie dates would be the most common for you guys. First off because I think this man is an absolute sucker for children's movies such as coco or boss baby. however at the same time he loves thriller or horror movies.

If you're bad with horror that's alright. He'll make sure you don't get nightmares by covering your eyes or covering your ears and screaming over the movie. Anything for you bby <3

I think he's a mama's boy. like just look at him and his purple hair. he's literally a mama's boy. So when you take him to meet your maternal guardian he's gonna win their hearts over eventually. Because let's all be honest, on a scale of one to ten does he look like a little lad? no? I thought so.

he's gonna show up teetering between casual and a three-piece suit lmao. it's gonna be like a hoodie underneath a blazer with dress pants and sneakers. lmao good luck trying to explain to your faimly why he's dressed like that.

it's completely different when you meet his mother though. literally he's her carbon copy. although she's much less violent due to the fact that you're there. he's helping out in the kitchen, sweeping floors, whatever his mother says he's doing lol

fights between y'all- lmao. they're either going to be amusing little discussions for him or they'll end up in a full-blown fist-fight. Like look at him and the panels he's ended up in. or or or he'll be mature and talk through it somewhat seriously. he's gonna try it if he really loves you

in such events if you throw the first punch he's gonna throw it back so hard lmao you're about to get punted across the room. however if he throws the first punch you're never gonna make it out alive. leave him fast !!

if it's the other scenario where he thinks it's just a little discussion he's gonna gaslight you so bad. I don't want to laugh about it but unfortunately this man is not exactly a respect-people-juice drinker. I'm so sorry about that.

when he tries to talk things out with you it's gonna be difficult. mainly because he doesn't really grasp the seriousness of the situation, and because he just can't. he can't. if you did something wrong he's not gonna think too much of it, however if you make a big deal of something he did that you didn't like he's gonna get offended. but then he's gonna think that you're just joking. it's kinda scary how quickly his personality changes

he's not going to change his habits for you. if he likes to arrange his manga by colour rather than volume and you don't like that, unfortunately for you he doesn't care if it gets on your nerves. they're his books, not yours.

simultaneously he won't say anything if your books are arranged by size rather than them being arranged by author. even if it bothers him he won't say anything about it.

horror movie marathons every month so you can sleep sometimes. if you can't handle it that's alright. you'll just have to watch the generic ones.

will follow you to the bathroom and stand outside if you're too afraid to go alone. but if you're really really really bad with horror movies there will be an immediate end to the marathons.

cafe dates. literally is going to drag you away to any cute cafe he finds. somehow always finds ones that fit your taste, even if they're far away he'll make an effort to either go there himself to get you the food or take you. as long as you're happy <3

makes deez nuts jokes please laugh at them.

overall a nice dude. 6/10 only because he's not afraid to fist-fight you at all. I don't wanna get punted by this kid

Please don't laugh at me but how does one get into pokemon? I used to be all over it when I was in kindergarten bcs the elders in my family were but I didn't keep up with it as they part ways and I get older. I want to rekindle my childhood joy but idk where to begin, all I know is pokemon cute hehe :(

I feel this because this happened to me too

As Gen 4 and 5 came out, I went through my preteen years and you know how one gets in those years, edgy and all. Used to think pokemon was dumb and a pointless game, regardless of how much I used to enjoy it as a child

Then, couple of years after Gen 6 came out I saw my brother invested in it again, so I decided to give it a try again by first seeing videos of the game.... Then I saw you could pet and feed your pokemon now and that pretty much won me back into the game

It was always my dream to pet and care for Pokemon, still dreaming of Nintendo giving us a Nintendogs but with pokemon type of game somewhere in the future 🥺

Then, the remake of my most favorite region came out around the time I became a fan again and since then I've stayed interested in pokemon. Finding Tumblr blogs that revolve around pokemon headcanons and daily life with pokemon helps maintain my interest, all of them are super creative and helps you visualize what living in that world would be like!!!

So, what I can advise is: try to find something that interests you within the game or fan blogs to see it that catches your attention again

For me, it was knowing about Pokemon Amie and finding daily life headcanon blogs bc I'm a sucker for domestic life and caring for animals

Maybe you like in depth character analysis or character studies, or coming up with theories, or formulating headcanons about the gym leaders and elite 4, or perhaps a crossover with one of your current fandoms sparks back that interest in pokemon

Give it a try!

Hope this helps a little!