sweating like a wild pig in bed thinking about miles upshur

I know the WWE tried something similar but i was thinking, the only way to get me to actually watch football is if we threw out the physical contact rulebook and dressed everyone up like thor and let them UFC fight their way to a goal. See this is why i was thinking this, football, to me, is worthless boring hyped up waste of time to watch (for me, for you football might be god, i dont care what you do.). Sure the imact shots are cool but what are you doing really, bumping into eachother, running from large men that want to put you on the ground, and throwing balls around. That might be your definition of manly, but ive seen videos of jihadists showing their dedication to allah by striking themselves on their own backs with sharp ass swords effectively splitting their backs wide open til you can see their shoulder blades and muscles and tendons and idfk why anyone would EVER do that to themselves but when compared to dudes that need to dress up in as much armor as master chief to bump into eachother, football is not my definition of "manly". So, Lets compromise cause self sword slashing is fucking insane. UFC, Boxing, id add professional wrestling in there but my image of a man isnt accompained by a script. (Again, wwe may be god to you, and i dont care what you do, but it bores me.) Now these are contact sports where people get some seriously knarley fuckin injuries. You could die. You could fucking die. Fighters go in the ring, knowing that they can die. Even people have died in the wwe. You are engaging in life risking behavior. But its not sword slashing insane. Now. I have a really good rationale for this, hear me out before your allergy for reading takes hold and you TL:DR me because you dont respect me as a person and would rather fill your time out by reading something kanye west said in an interview about how much he's godlike. So, first of all, football requires its safty equipment because rugby scares the shit out of people that prefer to make millions of dollars and continue looking like they fell from mt. Olympus. And i think that that is unacceptable. You are making millions of dollars to appease us, you only exist because we want to watch you put your body through extreme bouts of training and display your success in the form of competition. You belong to us. Back in the biblical days we would take giant men and make them fight to the death for entertainment, now we pay them an unforgivably unporportionate amount of compensation, and they have the fucking nerve to ask for safty pads? Now i know what youre thinking, maybe football players dont want to wear pads and the soccer moms forced pads on them because they're afraid that their kids will imitate what their fathers are throwing steel toed boots around when their team loses for, and get hurt. (On that note, prioirities people, fans screaming and jumping up and down and threatening the safty of their family because the giants lost the ball somehow is acceptable but doing sports without pads isnt. Please check your fuckin prioirities ). And all of this is okay, i get it, totally, you don't want your top stars to catch a case of broken neck and lose your team millions of dollars but if it gets permitted to run rampant we'll be playing football by sitting down at a very large oval table and discussing what they plan on doing to the other team and voting on who has the best probability to win. Or table top roleplay, which, i assure you that roast is brewing too. And essentially nobody wants to make sports that boring. Cause a broken ankle is okay so long as beer is being sold and every january we get some cool commercials. But dont you dare risk taking that player away from us. No. Fuck that. Police are spraying down people with mace that have done nothing more than standing in a place and commanding they demand change. We send drones with bombs to third world countries and indiscriminately explode the fuck out of whoever is in the way. The worldwide highest grossing movie of current times displays a cancer scarred man riddled in digusting scars using everything from guns to his own broken bones to mame and murder dozens of henchmen to get to the guy who made him ugly. Don't pretend that violence isnt the most important thing to entertaining americans and don't you dare pretend that youve never stated "if i see a clown in the woods i'm going to beat the fuck out of him and kill him for being scary, cause something that is scary is also synonymous with life threatening and i must murder it." fuck you. Youre in love with violence. I am, you are, that girl masturbating to tentacle monsters is. Just stop lying. Youre ready for this. Okay. UFNFL Ultimate Fighting National Football League. No pads. No restriction on contact (besides serious shit like eye gouging, intentional murder, weapons, i mean is it inconcievable to adopt boxing and ufc and apply those rules as safty restrictions? I think we can do this) No limit to beginning or ending a fight (hire 50 refs to run out and try to separate the fighters, but lets say if the red colored team guy gets the blue colored team guy to tap out, the blue team guy has to sit in the box of shame until the game is over.)(and when the blue team runs out of players they have to forfiet, so they get plenty of backup players but are limited to, lets say 50 men? We don't want each match going on for eternity, id rather slash my back with a sword then dedicate more than 16 hours to a specific event. ) Anyway, in this vision, the game is still football, but now theres brawling, now theres people fucking other people up, and not only are they proving to us that they are worth the money that they're getting paid, but we are loving watching them reap carnage, just like the nature of our soul demands. So you will have penalties too. Any additional fighters on the field fighting more than a one on one scenario, congratulations you have 10 seconds to remember whos fucking slaves you are and get off the dude youre flat out murder punching in the valor of fairness or esle you are indefinitely banned from this sport, go back to college guest visits and inspirational commercials because you are fucking banned. And now, NOW and only NOW would it be FUCKING excusable to give every player a fucking participation trophy. *drops mic*