#i've just been struggling with this design
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Coffee? Please?
Let me preface this by saying; I am not disabled and this is not about 'urgent' vet bills.
[I have an outstanding debt to pay in that regard, but the monthly payment is small and the service was already done. It was the amputation for our kitten Lucky's dead front leg.]
I do have a job and the pay is too good to quit. I work 40 hours a week and I spend almost 13 more hours just driving to and from work because our boss 'can't find a work assignment closer to where I live.' Up until about two weeks ago my partner was also working 40 hours a week on an opposing shift. We were just starting to get on top of our crushing pile of monthly bills.
Then she lost her work assignment [not her fault] and he couldn't find anything else for her to do. So she lost a whole weeks pay. He found her a place, but now she's only getting 24 hours a week instead of 40. And we were already struggling to pay for the bare essentials. I was hoping so hard to just have something left when the bills were paid. But my entire tax return was used to pay for overdue bills and it still wasn't all of them.
-We have not had a working washing machine since September. Almost all of my ancient towels have rotted and ripped apart from trying to hang dry them to avoid killing the dryer too.
-Our house does not have central heat or air so we've been freezing for months with no money to buy wood for the stove. [It's warmer now but still in the low 40s at night where I am.]
-We have been flushing the toilet with buckets of water for almost a year because hiring a plumber is not happening.
-For over a year we have been fighting the flea infestation caused by the deadbeat trash-pit roommate we had to force to move out. They're biting me as well as the cats and I'm allergic to them. So I constantly have a rash on my feet and ankles. We never have money for flea drops consistently enough to get rid of them and I do not have a working vacuum to get rid of the flea eggs in the carpet.
-I just had to take on $1200 worth of debt because my tires were bald from my ungodly commute and they told me the brakes need replacing very soon.
-Our youngest cat Lucky will need to be fixed soon because she's almost old enough to go into heat. [She's indoors only but I don't want to deal with the screaming.]
Our predatory mortgage payment is almost $2000 a month with all their shitty add-on fees. My car payment is $334. The internet is $87. The power is usually $125. Car insurance is about $115. Garbage is $65. Our car is shared and I go through 1 tank +1/4 tank of gas EVERY WEEK. I owe both Sunbit AND Carecredit. We're both estranged from abusive parents and have no other family to turn to in an emergency.
I can't ask for money for fanfic. I know that's unethical and illegal.
But I can tell you that I write better/faster/more when I'm not distracted by gut-wrenching despair, crippling anxiety attacks and the bone-deep fear of quickly losing my home because I'm always two missed paychecks away from disaster.
I know pretty much everyone is in the same boat, and my problems aren't unique or special.
But anything helps.
I have several hundred dollars in overdue bills from last month and it's already time for the next month's to start arriving. I feel so hopeless and I don't know what else to do besides resorting to begging.
I just set up a Ko-fi account - https://ko-fi.com/followmeontumblr
My Paypal is attached to this old email address - [email protected]
I have an Etsy shop with some things for sale - https://www.etsy.com/shop/PatchworkLaboratory
I also have a Spoonflower shop with fabric featuring my designs. [I only make $1.50 per yard that people buy though.] - https://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/infamousdoctorf
And for anyone who was kind enough to read this whole thing-
I do have some NSFW sketches I've drawn for "Eclipse Meets His Match" that I have nowhere safe to post.
If you're bold enough to direct-message me with the line-
"I swear on all I hold holy that I am not a minor. Show me the art."
I'll let you see them.
Thank you either way.
-Doc
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I love the shape language for Machete and Vasco, how angular and pointy the former is VS how round and soft the other... It's so GOOD I adore that
Thank you! I like the contrast as well, it makes them very fun to draw together. I try to keep them visually distinct while still making sure that they look harmonious and complementary next to each other.
#some more design musings that I've noticed that don't really matter but I tend to think about when drawing them:#Machete's shapes have an upward direction the ears the neck fluff and even the tip of his snout has that upturned angle#while Vasco's vibe is more loose and relaxed his huge floppy ears almost make him look like he's melting#neither of them have strong markings but the positioning of the gradients they have is very similar it's just different colors#Vasco has dark almond eyes (with what I can only describe as disney eyelashes)#his irises appear nearly black but if you shone a strong light directly on them they'd reveal a honey/amber hue#Machete's eyes are big and prominent with disproportionally small pupils#lately I've been drawing him with just the faintest salmon colored irises#but if the color scheme of the piece calls for it they can be depicted more vividly red#Machete has longer untameable fur here and there while Vasco is uniformly smooth and velvety#Machete is supposed to be the serious and inhibited half of the two but his face has a lot more expressive potential than Vasco's#it's actually kind of a struggle that I can't make Vasco emote with his ears at all those are typically a huge advantage in furry art#Vasco's body language is open and casual he takes up space confidently#Machete is usually very closed and defensive he has a habit of crossing his arms and legs and keeping his hands together and close to body#in general Vasco shouldn't be wearing anything black or red and Machete can't be seen wearing blue or gold#white is neutral territory it's usually the color of sleepwear and undershirts and as a result has a more intimate tone to it#answered#ardate
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local tattoo artist tries drawing anime husband on the ipad but it doesnt go well : |
#ok so like i cant draw on procreate LOL#it works for the tattoo stuff cuz my tat designs dont have any painting#i want sai back ;_; but im like never home cuz im always at the studio working + doing designs#and hanging w the bf and after dinner i get home at 10p#and i just wanna chill LOL i've been drawing at a snails pace at home#i tried drawing at the studio on the ipad it sucked a lot also i just cant fckin draw LOl#i need to look at more ref pics / do photo studies but FAK DRAWING Y IS IT SO HARD LOL#idc im gonna churn out 100s of weirdly drawn pics of mads like one of them will turn out good#this is not the one tho ahaha#omg alu is that a wip#im just struggling on every art program huh LOL
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have I saved up enough gems for another character slot? no. but beta slots mean free dressup so here's a beta version of Flourish AU Mai.
say hello to Pact Admiral Mai Trin.
#gw2#guild wars 2#Mai Trin#my posts#i dabbled with trying to keep some concept elements#like the corset type look meshed with her final design#and the more reserved style she had as a 'civilian' too#the snakes are for hc lore reasons that are specific to Flourish but that's very long so this can just be by itself for now lol#(short version is she has some Luxon serpent clan ancestry on the Canthan side of her family tree)#i might do some more action shots with her before the end too but we'll see if i can get any to turn out well HDHFHF#i've been struggling to capture cool skill poses on thief rip...
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you know i thought it would be funny because the leon cat design i got going is just scourge so.
...tigerchuck
#tigerclaw#tigerstar#warrior cats designs#dead rising 2 off the record#chuck greene#(he is there. look at him)#target4alterego.png#i didn't add the leader mark but it would just be that forehead diamond getting some white in it... i'm fond of those kind of design choice#didn't do the body either bc i couldn't get it down right but he was gonna have a big shoulder scar like bluestar :)#probably should tag this too bc i've been struggling to reference this again LOL#warrior cats
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When I approach Yelan (or anyone else I've written), I don't just look directly at her character, but I also look at her surroundings. Both the ones that she knows by some semblance of necessity, but also those that she chooses. Like here, I talked about the Chasm, and what being 'okay' with existing down there needs to mean for a character, because it's not normal. Someone's surroundings, room, or home say a lot bout who they are and what their mindset, or specifically, their perspective is of the world. And sometimes, I think it says more about people than even the characters realize.
This brings me to the topic of the city of Fontaine. Now, I personally think it's rather obvious that a lot of the nation takes from historical France, and so when looking at it, I think it really adds to remember its monarchy, the view that the 'common folk' had of it, and its inevitable demise to non-existence today in terms of importance as a result. So my first question is, who constructed or decided on its layout? Was it Furina, Neuvillette, Egeria? Whoever it was, there's a lot that can be said about their view of the world and their placement in it when you look at locations of buildings. Look at where Palais Mermonia, its governing body, is located within the city; it sits at a rather astounding elevation in comparison to, well, everything and everyone else in the city. This frequently represents the concept of 'distance' between groups in one way or another, and seeing the consistency in other nations, this is something that is rather intriguing to me, especially keeping Fontaine's characters in mind (and considering this is the nation of 'justice'). Mondstadt has everything almost entirely uniform, with arguably the church on the highest level (but it isn't greatly elevated in comparison to all else), but it's joined with the plaza and statue which are a common gathering site for all people in the city. Liyue had the gods and adepti visibly living among the humans back in the days of the Guili Assembly for reasons of 'integration' (my apologies to numerous from our dear Guizhong!) The fact that numerous adepti now live far outside of the harbor is a different matter entirely, and the one who seems to function within a semblance of separation of sorts is Ningguang with the Jade Chamber (but I'm not one to speak on behalf of her character as I don't bear the knowledge). Inazuma also has the Tenshukaku at a higher elevation in comparison to the rest of Inazuma City. Sumeru is interesting, but ultimately Nahida was kept at the very peak of the city, far out of reach of humanity— but that's exactly the common denominator that has my interest, the distance between the 'governing body' and humanity for one reason or another.
But Fontaine really takes separation to a different level in my opinion (and again, think of this when you think of the person having designed the whole city), not only because of the above which I'll elaborate more on in a moment, but also its separation from the outside world. Now, this is interesting to think about if you keep in mind that it was perhaps done in eventual protection of the city's inhabitants in terms of the prophecy (which means that this would have been constructed anywhere during or after Egeria's reign), but then why is only Palais Mermonia far above the water's reach? If the walls surrounding the city were ever breached during said prophecy, all its inhabitants are pretty much immediately caught in the flood and would drown, which tells me nothing positive of the city's 'architect' or whoever signed off on the designs. But if not done for the prophecy, then why? Stand in the middle of the Court of Fontaine and really look around you, the only sights you really have of the outside world are the sky, and it's obstructed by a fair bit of the waterways and gardens that hang overhead, which you can only properly enjoy when you take the ages long elevator to the upper level where the palace is located (which, credit due, seems freely accessible to everyone in present-time). But if you don't venture up, how much of the outside world do you get to see? It feels very secluded, very much under lock and key. On some level (and this is one of the many reasons why I think that the Meropide is so excessively important in Fontaine and it's likely why we spent so much time there; it's all to show the ever, ever important contrast and nuance between this 'autonomous nation within Fontaine' and, well, 'Fontaine'), it almost feels like a prison, regardless of how pretty it may look or come across (and despite not 'lacking rights'). And considering how people in the Meropide speak of not always wanting to return back to the 'overworld' following their sentence, I think that there's definitely quite a bit of truth in that. But again, stand there and look around for yourself.
Now to return to the original topic, but keeping the last one in mind as well, look at one other thing that I'm unsure how many have really kept an eye on: the massive effect Palais Mermonia's level has on the rest of the area (inside and outside of its walls). Have you ever walked through the city of Fontaine at any given time of day or night, north to south, east to west, clockwise or counter-clockwise circling through it; have you ever seen how it overshadows an immense part of the streets below it either entirely on its own (which to me signifies a very domineering presence), or together with those outer walls that surround the city? I know how I've spoken thoroughly with people before about how much I enjoy Fontaine and how dark it is in its storytelling, but despite how gorgeous this region with its water- and landscapes are; its city bears quite a heavy weight to me. I don't know who designed it, or ordered it to be constructed in this way, but nothing about the city itself truly, rationally, shows a healthy perspective versus its citizens.
Me: /continues on to ramble in tags because I'm me and I'm a nuisance with always more to say than I know how to coherently put into these posts.
#[ meta. ] the chances are if i open this door; there can be no witnesses left alive. is that a sufficient reason for you?#[ i love how i'm writing a liyue-based character and here i am rambling about fontaine. ]#[ listen my little french heart just ached at this. i've been sitting on it for so long and have been wanting to talk about it. ]#[ but every time i hear 'fontaine is so pretty' -- i agree. i truly do. and the city has become my new 'hub' away from liyue harbor... ]#[ which says a ton in itself. ]#[ so trust me when i say i enjoy it and find it gorgeous. but i don't have any real kind words to spare on who designed it. ]#[ and i don't mean that in an insulting/bad kind of way but more so in the sense of-- whichever god likely designed this-- ]#[ how much worth was placed where; you know? ]#[ this is why i find the gods and all of their differing views so inherently interesting. ]#[ but then i also sit here longer and think more of the meropide. ]#[ and how THAT is supposed to be the prison. hmmmm. and yet /that/ is the place many seem to not want to leave anymore. ]#[ the place that is run and made better by the person whose tragic case was entirely missed and neglected by the authorities. ]#[ ah yes; the meropide. aka meropis-- the retelling (was it a parody? i believe so) of plato's story of atlantis. ]#[ which was sunk by the gods as punishment to its people for leading lives they deigned morally unjust and petty and /greedy/. ]#[ ah yes. the references never end. ]#[ granted we know how the meropide came to be-- so if egeria was in charge of that. chances are she likely was for fontaine as well. ]#[ well-- ]#[ well. ]#[ yep. i have more to say but i'm struggling to find my words-- so here we are for now! ]
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I feel like this might be a silly thing to ask but would it be possible for the awesome artists out there to tag their half dragon zelda pieces? idk, "dragon zelda" or something since people use light dragon for the, well, Light Dragon. Nothing against them they just squick me out ;-;
#totk#totk spoilers#zelink#light dragon#zelda#keep doing it to your hearts content tho!! I just want to be able to filter it out#idk if its too much trouble and I've been struggling if I should ask for some time ;-;#might delete later#I think its cause the designs often feel a bit uncanny to me
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"just google it" "do your own homework" "google is free" "find it yourself the information is out there"
but they are. they are asking people who have that information, for the information. they are doing their homework by reaching out and asking people questions. just because it's not typed on a search bar, doesn't mean it's any less of putting an effort to finding things out.
like i'm sorry people in the past refused/ridiculed you when you asked them for help. doesn't mean you have to be like them tho. why is learning through human interaction rejected in favour of isolated learning?
#my posts#rants#im part of the organising team for the women's march in my city#and someone interested to join the march was asking public transport directions to the march#the immediately response from the social media team in our group chat was to berate that person for being lazy/not doing their homework#like sure the transit map is available on the website#but anyone who takes public transport in my city KNOWS that the trains and maps are unreliable in so many ways#i was exploring a different line yesterday and got on the wrong train despite being on the correct platform#and i take public transport regularly and have a good sense of direction but the public transport here isnt designed to be user friendly#if they had to ask which line they should interchange at you KNOW they are clueless and probably terrified of the public transportation her#and yet as organisers they refuse to make it easier for people to participate at a march no one owes us to attend#they just gave them a link and asked them to figure it out themselves#i am very familiar with that route and i just KNOW the interchange is confusing and large enough that beginner commuters will get lost#and you know what could happen if someone struggles to navigate public transport? they probably would just go home instead#they blame the education system for producing youngsters who are spoon fed#girl the older generation said the exact same thing about your generation pls#your misdirected anger is being projected at the victim of this system instead of at the actual problem#which is what i've been observing from career activists around me and more#you claim to fight for the people#but the very people you're fighting for are asking you for help#yet you refuse to help them unless it's through significant policies or drastic systemic changes#your fight is conditional and only convenient for you but you refuse to admit it and then pretend the opposite#the moment they decided that they would 'teach them a lesson' indirectly by forcing them to figure out their own routes#they've already fallen into that activist trap of thinking they are above everyone else and that they are here to teach people how to#be a better person according to their standards because they know better by being more involved in activism and are better educated#instead of putting themselves in the girl's shoes and not assuming the worst of people as the default#maybe that girl is new in town and is unfamiliar with public transport here#maybe they had a bad experience getting lost before and wanted someone experienced to share some commuting tips to avoid getting lost#maybe she would rather pull her teeth out than try to figure out the route with unreliable mountains of information online#maybe she has executive dysfunction that makes filtering through tons of information to find that ONE route very daunting
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Please look upon these hilarious mockup photos I made for the tshirt/sweater designs I'm selling over on Etsy.
Tag yourself, I'm the "no YOU hang up" vampire XD
#The cat print is actually based on my cat hank because I love him#gothic fashion#halloween fashion#mothman#support your local library#capitalism is a death cult#I'm tired of capitalism but I'm forced to participate so I might as well make cool shirts for it#indie artist#support small artists#animal artists#tshirt design#I just started the shop so there's almost no sales but I promise it's trustworthy#I've been in the process of getting this set up for months#anyway I chose the most ridiculous mockup photos I could#probably not great for attracting people on etsy but I think they're funny so oh well#I am struggling#please reblog#I hate asking for reblogs but I don't know how to get my stuff in front of the people that will like it otherwise
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Hi! Just wanted to say I really love your art! Your character designs are so cool, especially with Tac. 😊😊
tysm!! :'>
#vry happy with tac's design#i'v been feeling a lot more confident in my character design with th compliments i'v gotten#used to rly feel like i was bad at it#some of my characters i think do still need a better design#but 's mostly just clothes i struggle with sometimes#half of my characters jus have#sweater/t'shirt#sweatpants/jeans#anyways#didderd asks#anonymous
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Sage Ayana
Race: Human
Nationality: Atlas (Areia colony)
Ethnicity: Mixed Vacun & Mistrali
Weapon: Pilgrim
Gender: Man
Sexuality: Aromantic pansexual
Starting Age: 17
Birthday: Spring 1st
Aura Color: Green
Handedness: Right
Complexion: Dark brown
Eye Color: Red
Semblance: Remedy (Every time Sage's Aura shield takes damage, Sage's semblance converts the damage into a secondary Aura reserve called Mood. Sage can use his Mood to heal his body or to recharge his Aura shields immediately, which looks like green leaves wrapping around his body.)
Occupation: Haven student, Junior Detective, Boy band drummer
Previous Occuppation: Sanctum Regional Tournament player (2nd place ten times)
"And the winner is, Sage Ayana of Areia city!" the host announced to the crowd. The hundreds of people in the crowd went wild. Hundreds of them chanting, screaming, Sage's name. He could reasonably assume that almost everyone from his home was watching, cheering for him too. It wasn't good enough.
Sage headed to the locker room. He sat down and began checking his weapon for damages, even though last match only lasted about 7 minutes. That was when she came in. "Good afternoon, Sage Ayana."
Quiet.
"Good afternoon, Pyrrha Nikos." Sage said back to the armored redhead. "It seems we will be going up against each other in the finals again." Pyrrha stated.
Silence.
Pyrrha started again, "How many times have we faced each other like this?"
"Ten times, in a row. I lost every single match."
"Don't sell yourself so short! It's an accomplishment to make it to the finals consistently."
"Stop." Sage commanded.
Pause.
"... Pyrrha," Sage looked her in the eyes for the first time she entered the room, "you know what it's like for people like us. We don't represent ourselves, we represent our towns. And each time I lose here... forget it. I shouldn't have said that." Sage then turned his back again.
Pyrrha walked in front of Sage. "I apologize if my skill in combat has upset you," Pyrrha said, "but being the best comes with a price."
"That's easy for you to say-"
"It's not!" Pyrrha shouted. "... I know Areia is... unfavorably compared to Argus by Atlesians. But know that I, nor anyone else in Argus, view your city that way. We are equals. And it is an honor to earn second place as many times as you did even if you don't see it that way, friend." Pyrrha then reached out her hand to Sage.
For a moment, Sage considered taking her hand. Forgetting about his duties, his discipline, his fidelity to his parent's teachings of strength.
"We are not friends, Pyrrha Nikos." Sage stared her in the eye.
"... very well then, Sage Ayana. Eternal rivals, then." Pyrrha sadly stated.
"...ladies and gentlemen, are you ready for the finale!!!" The host screamed so loud it could be heard inside the locker room.
Sage and Pyrrha got up and walked to the door, waiting for it to automatically open.
"May the best fighter win" Pyrrha hummed.
"I won't lose this time." Sage stated to her.
"You have said that ten times before." Pyrrha coldly stated back.
For a moment, Sage's mouth turned into a frown, but he corrected his face. He must always correct himself, always strive to be perfect... still not good enough.
#woohoo#yeah baby this is what I've been waiting for!!!#rwde#rwby fix it fic#rwby rewrite#rwby redesign#sage ayana#my boy is a real character now!!!#also oof#I had to work overtime to make sure neither Sage nor Pyrrha look too bad during their argument#like Pyrrha is just living her best life and trying to help someone she sees is struggling#but shes not a pushover either#and Sage knows he's in his feelings which is why he tries to avoid the conversation all togather and be nice regardless#but back to my soft redesign#Red eyes suit Sage better than the gold ones and it matches him with Scarlet/Pyrrha#I changed his arm thingy to be a dark cyan for Neptune#so now Sage has all of his teamates colors because without him team SSSN would fall apart#he's like#their daddy figure#;)#anyway if I ever try to do something like this again know that the palms will be light#making Sage's lips look the way dark skin peoples lips look irl dramatically improved this design#if you white take notes#but yeah I had fun!
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love it when ocs show me what they look like when i'm struggling with a design like,,
there you are!!!
#not sure how to explain what i mean#but i'd been struggling with divina for a bit like i could almost see her. almost#anyway broke out of my usual oc design habits and tried something different#happy to report i've finally found her 😭💗#not sharing just yet bc it's an incredibly rough sketch and i do NOT have a handle on the p6 style like i do p3 lol#i wanna clean her up first but !!! there you are my baby girl !!!!!!!!!!!!#spankz chat
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reworking Alex a lot lately and like, girl??? grayace lesbian, nahh we're hitting her with the aroace beam
#rave ramblees#well her serial killer design has been reworked 🥰#i...should've worked on her human design first actually#i somehow always struggle to draw her in a way that looks like an actual human though?#and i can't pinpoint the issue even after all these years#i wanna work on her slime rancher design :>#or her dragon design i was brainstorming#i swear though i haven't properly worked on her since like 2020#i'm pretty content with her new design#and i've updated my google doc of info#though i didn't add much new...just cleaning things up
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Anon back again, what's the story to your organic metal au?
The last ask response has given me many questions, why does Metal seem nervous when Eggman greets him?
Eating up this AU, looking forward to whatever you're cooking
i mean theres a lot that has changed and a lot that i havent worked out but the basic idea was that metal somehow became organic (i have no idea how that happened xd) but because he's got no programming eggman cant force him to do his bidding and he rebels against him. He still wants to kill sonic. badly. but doesnt want to be eggmans lapdog anymore. most of this is just pure self idulgent stuff bc i want to put him in situations. a little bit of plot is in there
#i just kind of wanted some free will metal sonic#i kind of struggle with writing robots with free will#its all just tainted by programming i think and i thought it would be interesting to try writing him as a person with actual brain chemistr#lmao#ofc lets not take this too seriously its all just for fun#though i've been planning to reread the neo metal sonic parts in idw#and i wanna play heroes hihi#ALSO i just really wanted to make a design for him hehe#i made that one comic some time ago you can just search organic metal sonic on my blog and youll find it its like 3 pages#and it started with that bc i just saw that in my brain and it kinda went hard xd#(i say all of this softly and scared)#sorry im always very embarassed to share my aus ive been working on this for years TwT but im trying to free myself and be more self-#indulgent#okie bye hihi *hides*#i also know how this ends. 💀
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Oh ya know, most of my ideas feeling tired and boring is probably because I haven't like. Just chilled and done whatever for a while. Been stressing over this gecko and am not likely to get to stop doing that until after the health check. Thankfully there's not as much to do now, but it still feels like a lot to do.
#i don't think this is the right medication for me ngl cause this is harder than it needs to be#but it also could be the overwhelming nature to this#the part where getting a new pet hasn't been exciting it's just been stress after stress#and no one is listening to me about stuff and I'm relying on being awarded disability benefits#to be able to get the money to replace the tank to the appropriate size#with the appropriate design for a house with cats#which is pushing things that i myself need back because i can't afford both#AND it's forcing the hand and making me HAVE to do things which is putting so much pressure on me#and then bosh is still here and i still have to work with him cause no one else will#apparently he's not leaving anymore so thanks now i have MORE to do#and just!!! everyone has thrown a grenade at my plans and progress!!!#and now that I'm struggling AFTER I've been succeeding? WELL GUESS WHAT PEOPLE ARE EXPECTING FROM ME#i just. god.#everything's gone... so fast...#i can at least do the digital stuff now. maybe some of the tank stuff...#cause that's a desperate case too... i just... god... i had plans and they were going well#and i was struggling yeah but i was coping but then everyone just. GOD I HATE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE#'why are you always getting at me?' BECAUSE YOU KEEP IGNORING MY NEEDS FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE#AND FOR THE EXPECTATIONS OF OTHERS#OBVIOUSLY#I'm not even mad at the gecko. I'm scared to say I love him. it's not his fault whats going on.#the only innocent here#hhhhhhhhhhhh sorry to personal ramble here I'm just. struggling.#and mum bought crickets. great. not like there were fifty reasons why we didn't have them before or anything.#cool.#fun.#get me out of here fucking hell I'm tired#I'll be happy once geck is safe with all his needs met. until then I'm stuck in purgatory.#and freaking out over nothing (waxworms that obviously move)
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Realizing I've been cranky because of a blood moon on the rise is making me so embarrassed like, WHY do I turn into a whiny and sad mess of toast every month and then FORGET that's why I get moody. Hiding in a hole for a week.
#toast talks#If you saw me being bitter about my art. Ignore it I was having a moment of weakness and self sabotaging#I love to draw I love to write I love to CREATE. I just get grumpy when I feel like I haven't been developing as much as I want#But then I have to remember I went two years without doing any major art and still struggle to get back on the path because work sucks#but I'm getting there! And looking at my improvements in designs does make me feel better about my art!#Like fuck I actually lined something! I never line anything! And I was able to make a fullbody! Which I never do because legs and feet SUCK#I'm making progress and my studies and asking questions and referencing and learning is paying off I just have to keep going#I have to keep going and not be nervous scared or intimidated when I DO post art because that's the only way I'll be able to grow#Anyways I'm obsessed with my art again I have three character designs in my brain that want to come out#Maybe I'll sketch some at work before I get off tonight...#But I've also got a new character concept rattling around in my head and FUCK I need to share my stories with yall I stg
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