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cowpokeomens · 19 hours

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Good morning I saw this post and it rotted all three of my remaining brain cells because

Word gets around to you that sweet Matty is a virgin, and by no means are you one to take that lightly! But :-/ you know as well as I do about his MCE, and you just wanna take the horse for a ride 😔🫶 and he’s been flirting with you for months now in his own weird passive-aggressive mean way! So it’s not like your feelings aren’t reciprocated! It’s fine! You’re fine! Nothing morally corrupt to see here! So yeah just imagine your shorts get shorter as the months get warmer :-/ you ditch the hoodies for crop tops, then you ditch those for bralettes because “it’s sooooo hot Matty what the hell is up with this weather??” And you know you’re getting under his skin with the way his hands linger on you, at the small of your back, direct skin to skin, as he guides you in front of him somewhere busy; the way his eyes are absolutely lingering on your legs in your tiny little shorts :-/ you laugh at his jokes with your chest because you know it makes your tits bounce :-/ you press your whole body against him in a way that never mattered when you wore hoodies and sweatpants, but makes him shove you off now with pink cheeks. It all comes to a head when you’re getting ready to go out with some gal pals. He’s hanging out at your place while you get ready; once you’re done with your makeup and changed into your clothes, you do a little twirl to show him your outfit- which is absolutely lingerie and a mini skirt :-/ your fishnets have a few suggestive holes ripped in them, the boots you wear elongate your legs without having you teetering on a heel precariously :-/ Matt sighs, which makes you genuinely frown. You ask “What is it, Matty?” To which he responds “I dunno, it seems like you’re dressing really… provocative lately.” And you try not to focus on how that hurts because he is right after all!!! And you’re gonna respond when he mumbles “it’s distracting.” And oop! Wrong thing to say Matty! Because you drop your eyelashes and walk over to him slowly, sitting so close to him you’re practically on his lap. “Distracting? How?” It sounds innocent enough, right? No ulterior motives here! And his cheeks are sooooo pink omg baby is soooo flustered by your proximity and your question and your everything. But he’s nothing if not honest! So he says “it’s just, like, I’m straight edge, right? So the idea is that you avoid…. Promiscuous sex. But like-“ he pauses and you nod to encourage him, sensing something big is coming, “I’m just not sure what constitutes as ‘promiscuous’ if that makes sense? Like do you have to be married? Do you just have to really care about the other person? What are the parameters?” And you can’t help but tuck a little piece of hair behind his ear, thinking before you respond. “I think,” you begin slowly, “that sex is a natural part of being alive. It’s fine if you don’t want to have it, it’s fine if you do what to have it. But it seems unfair for some straight-edge higher being to decide what the ‘healthy’ limit looks like, because that limit will be different for everyone.” And his wee shoulders relax a bit which makes you fight back the urge to beam with pride but then he says “I’ve never- I haven’t like, done it before. What if I’m not good? What if no one wants to stick around because I suck at it?” And your little heart just breaks because :-( Matty :-( so you tell him that anyone who only cares about sex obviously has different priorities and isn’t worth keeping around! And then you can’t fight the urge to say “but. If you want to practice. I’m always here for you < 3” hehehehehehe and his eyes get all wide bc?? You’re so hot?? And he just admitted he’s a virgin?? And you offered to fuck him??? And maybe :-/ maybe you offer to take some of the edge off for him :-// maybe he just needs to relax :-/// and he seems perfectly willing to hear you out so you slide onto to floor between his knees and his breath hitches as you start to palm at him where he’s absolutely chubbed up and you were right- Monster Cock Energy! Yippee!

Anyways! You pull his cock out and it’s so pretty and pink and you want it in your mouth so you flutter your eyelashes and ask if you can suck on it and he stares at you open-mouthed for a minute before saying “it doesn’t. It doesn’t count, right? Because I’m not fucking you. So it doesn’t count.” And you nod because that’s what he needs right now and reassure him that no, it doesn’t count, Matty :-) what you don’t say virginity is a social construct that you can hit reset on whenever you want bc it’s not real but that’s a conversation for another time bc right now Matt’s cock is in your mouth and it’s hot and heavy on your tongue and you think he might actually pull a muscle with how hard he tenses up :-/ he’s soooo vocal ugh never learned that men are supposed to be stoic and silent so he’s moaning so so so prettily and clawing at the cushion underneath him as you take him deeper and deeper and when he hits the back of your throat he’s gargling out shit like “holy fuck, oh my god, you’re perfect, you’re so hot and perfect and I’ve thought about this for weeks now-“ and you’d be bashful if you hadn’t been so intentional in your seduction! Oops! He’d manage to get a hand into your hair and it’s over from there, once he gets a taste of fucking your mouth he’ll never recover I fear! It’s wet and messy and there’s lipstick all over your face and mascara running down your cheeks and his thrusts are erratic and fast until he finally cums with a loud, breathy moan, pulling you down to the base and keeping you there for a solid 10 seconds as he shakes through his orgasm :-/ doesn’t hesitate to pull you right into his lap to kiss you deeply, smearing cum and lipstick all over himself now too :-/ anyways that’s all I just wanted to share thanks for letting me have the conch bye!

#ramblin gal #matt dierkes fanfiction #matt dierkes x reader #matt dierkes smut

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eerna · 11 hours

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Wait okay omg I would love to hear your thoughts about the Broadway Mulan Rouge because I also have many feelings about it, most of them disappointment unfortunately lol. It could've been amazing!! But I just!! I don't feel it like I felt it in the movie idk man

Yeah, I am the same... I was SO hyped when I heard that they were turning it into a musical, but in retrospect it is pretty clear it was never gonna be what I wanted it to be :(

THE MUSIC. To me, MR! has this very recognizable music style where it is a jukebox musical, but every song is rewritten and its accompaniment changed so that they all fit together with the soundtrack of the film. It's percussion heavy, it's piano heavy, very jazzy/mid century film music? If you know the songs and try to sing along, you will fail, because they're just that different. That's why it doesn't suffer from the jukebox musical curse, in my opinion. However, BMR! totally removed those stylistic changes and turned them all into pretty standard musical theater arrangements of pop songs, and they all overstay their welcome because they aren't even shortened. NOW it suffers from the jukebox musical curse, bc how am I supposed to take's Christine's "I want" song seriously if it's FIREWORK by KATY PERRY. The worst example of this is what they did to El Tango de Roxanne, the most iconic part of the movie. In MR!, it's a mashup of Roxanne by The Police (representing the Argentinian's tale) and Tanguera by Mariano Mores with original lyrics (representing Christian's angst over Satine). Both songs take turns and overlap, pointing out the parallels, rising in intensity until everyone starts screaming and crying. Absolute insanity. I don't know a single person who wasn't floored by this song when they first saw the scene. In BMR!, it's Christian's solo, which means no parallels, most of the song is Roxanne and the iconic Tanguera melody shows up for like 40 seconds in the beginning and in the end just so they can say they put it into the show. There is no rising tension, there is no overlaps, no development, it's just. There. Like yes you put it into the show, but pretty much all of its symbolism and memorable aspects are gone. And the jukebox issues are stabbing you in the eyes. WHY IS CHRISTIAN SINGING ABOUT A WOMAN NAMED ROXANNE. WHO IS ROXANNE. IT MAKES SENSE IF ROXANNE IS THE NAME OF THE WOMAN FROM THE ARGENTINIAN'S STORY, BUT IT MAKES NO SENSE THAT CHRISTIAN IS THE ONE SINGING ABOUT HER. God.

THE WEIRDNESS. MR!'s aesthetic is super interesting to me because it represents its aura of sex appeal and hedonism through the lenses of grotesque. It would have been super easy to put the sex workers into sexy outfits and glam up their faces and make them sing seductive songs on beautiful stages, but no. Their outfits are eye stabbing, their makeup is garish, and they're screeching and throwing themselves around violently on stages that are dark, kitchy, claustrophobic, and loud, while the camera switches every 2 seconds and your brain feels like it's running on fumes. AND IT IS SO FUN. The club looks SO nasty and SO fun and I wanna go there. However, BMR! doesn't want to alienate anyone, so they did... Exactly what I said. Everyone is universally attractive, the stage is very clean-cut and open, the appeal of the club is played completely straight. This is best shown in the production Christian writes for the club. I know that the play from the movie is not very PC so I totally get why they would change some of it, but... They turned it from a vibrant, oversaturated opera with enormous musical numbers that lends itself perfectly to the big dramatic finale taking place during its premiere into a THREE CHARACTER CHAMBER DRAMA. Like who tf signed off on this change. WHO. LET ME SEE. WHO SAID THAT THE FINALE OF THE ENTIRE STORY WILL BE SET IN A STAGE IMITATION OF A LIVING ROOM. GOD I AM SO UPSET.

THE ROMANCE. MR! works because Christian is a naiive, innocent, idealistic poet with grand ideas of love. THAT'S why Satine falls for him - he is completely different from other men, and he makes her believe love can be more than what she'd been given throughout her life. Also, he's never been in love, so everything feels much more real and intense for him. In BMR! he is a completely different character, an overconfident seductive sexyman. Why would he be any different than all the other men in Satine's life??? Because he can write good??????? She has met many writers before, as we know, so what makes this guy different????? And not only are we less forgiving of his bad actions because he is older and experienced, HE IS SO MUCH WORSE IN THE SHOW. In MR! he sells his typerwriter to buy a ticket for Satine's premiere to go see her one last time and scream at how horrible she is - bad, and horrible to watch. In BMR!, he sells his typewriter to BUY A GUN and goes to Satine's premiere SO HE CAN KILL HER OR HIMSELF ONSTAGE - absolutely insane and horrible and how tf did we get here. AND LET ME REMIND YOU that this version of the story DOESN'T EVEN HAVE THE STORY CONTEXT OF EL TANGO DE ROXANNE, in which Roxanne's lover kills her, SO THEY REMOVED THE ONE BIT OF FORESHADOWING THAT COULD HAVE MADE IT MAKE SENSE.

THE REST OF THE WRITING. BMR! tried to give depth to side characters and their relationship with Satine, but that means they totally sidelined that Satine is a deeply unhappy person in a very unhealthy situation. They tried to make it look like she is choosing to marry the Duke (YEAH I FORGOT TO MENTION, THE DUKE IS A SEXY SEXY GUY WHO WANTS TO MARRY HER IN THIS VERSION) without any pressure put onto her by the club, but that makes it all so much more boring. MR! is far from a deep analysis of Satine's friendships, but I thought that the little bits and pieces we saw were delightfully complex. Satine is going to become the Duke's mistress because he will sponsor the club, and everyone employed there will live a better life. Ziegler is her father figure, but he is also her pimp who is pushing her into the relationship. He feels sorry for her and obviously cares for her outside of their business relationship, but he is so deep in the "underworld life" that he no longer sees a way out for anyone. But when it becomes apparent that Satine can no longer withstand the pressure, that the life they are all living is something she can't deal with, everyone just. Helps her out. They bail her out of the tower, they threaten the Duke, they stand with her, it's not verbal, it's all in the actions. It's why we can have a grand finale where everyone sings and dances while the Duke is crying in the background. BMR! has the girls telling Satine they care about her and her telling them she will protect them, but they are completely useless in the plot. No one comes for her in the tower, and the play is a THREE PERSON DRAMA so Christian is the only one there to stand with her in the end.

THE PLAY. I already said most of my issues with it but just to point it out once more. There is nothing more annoying to me than a piece of media that's about a piece of media being written, and then that piece of media ends up unseen. Throughout MR! we see the play being written, we see many scenes being added, hear a ton of songs from it, the issue of the plot resolution is a big dramatic point, and the finale of the movie is also the final scene from the play. In BMR! we see one scene, the show's end, that keeps being repeated over and over again.

SATINE'S WHITE DRESS. It deserved its own point bc what the hell is this.

This is already super long, but this show annoys me so much I could legit keep going lol. Everything is worse. Everything is toothless and clawless. It's such wasted potential.

#mountevey #eernask #mr liveblog #i need to turn it into a liveblog tag

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saintobio · 2 days

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HELLOOO FINALLY GOT TO SEND AN ASK!!!

first of allllll…. i think the time momjo sending the child guardian paper (?) that satoru typed out of anger is a hint…. and then satoru telling yn that sachiro called akemi mama… this honestly hurts alot more, imahine carrying your baby for 9 months, taking care of baby sachiro for 3 years alone, all the sleepless nights… and sachiro just ugh u dumbass small brain toddler (literally). anyways, satoru looking at akemi during suguru and shoko’s wedding, his hand rubbing akemi’s stomach at the cabin when she was in pain. honestly this part was akemi faking her pain or…? cuz there was a line that said after satoru asked if she wanted to go home her face didnt show anymore pain ? lololll idk. i dislike (hate) gojokemi but i think theyre gonna be endgame with all these theories coming up oh godddd. and the way yn threw the necklace into the lake, satoru went to search for it but did he manage to find it ? no. but during sn yn (well, suguru) found gojos wedding band. so in sy, yn threw away satoru’s “heart”, and it was never found again, thats a hint (?) bruhhh i hate thissss (i love this so much actually it made me feel so much i love u saint) i also recall the first time satoru and akemi first did it together he said smthg like i could learn to love u ? if i remember correctly. and the morning at the cabin after yn and gojo did it, yn was crying bcs they had a heartfelt talk ? and u mentioned they both felt guilty. the guilt is…. yeah.

BUT ALSO, satoru once said that yn has always been the one, sera when she saw gojo after forever told sukuna that he looks different when hes being with akemi, like hes not being himself? but that was when they first got together so idk about now. him not calling gojokemi exclusive. oh how they were happy and loving when yn got pregnant 🥹 but well it lasted until… yeah. also u said something about gojo gonna be on his knees again, since yn is now depressed and suicidal, i think for her heart disease shes gonna sign a DNR, then satoru on his knees maybe begging the doctors idk gawd idk someone mentioned dnr and i just… 🙂 its not that she wanna leave sachiro either, but i think shes telling herself everything will be better if she dies since sachiro, still very young, doesnt even really remember yn (just why sachiro) and called akemi mama… also why the hell didnt gojo use protection when fucking akemi oh gawd pls hate u satoru if she gets preggo.

anyways, i cant wait for gen to be back. i love u gen and ian.

oooh i also remember that you said there was a scene that inspired the birth of sn/sy, was it in chapter 11 ? or we’re not there yet…

honestly why dont yn just join shoko and suguru and be in a happy poly relationship ever looollll just kidding. my heart hurts, im still all in for gojoyn endgame but it doesnt seem realistic. ive been cursing gojo and akemi ever since the chapter came out loolll gotta give myself credit for being able to do my exams while still thinking bout this. 💀

omg there’s a lot to unfold here idk where to start 😭 but i just wanna say, it’s amazing how you’re so thorough in remembering those details in sn/sy bcos i honesty don’t have enough attention span to do that !!! sdjsj now while i can’t answer everything you mentioned, i can say a few things:

- akemi isn’t faking her pain, she’s truly struggling from it

- gojo doesn’t want kids outside of marriage (or should i say if not with yn), so he’s definitely careful with it.

- yes, it is indeed sy11 that birthed the sequel :’) i had that scene in mind before sn was even finished

#🖤: letters to saint #series: sincerely yours #thank you thank youuu for dropping by and sharing ur thoughts <33

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obsob · 1 year

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here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud!!

✷(print shop)✷

#mine #original #euheuhe hello..i hope everyone is having a good day #we are going on a bird boat thing on wednesday im very excited about it #what else.....me and my bf went on a walk on sunday and i saw damsel flies and shield bugs and a duck with 13 ducklings #i bought a jellycat sun bag which is now all i talk about #ive started reading assassins apprentice by robin hobb!!!! its so good!!!!#im so excited there are so many books in the series to read #i doubt i will like all of them but i will give them all a go #today i will stop and hve dinner n then walk the dog and then do exercise and have a bath #and then i will. play zelda #and then tomorrow i will do shop stuff and also help my mum buy a bench apparently #i need to buy snacks also. i hve a snack stash in my rooom bc of mental illness purposes and i am low.....need snacks #maybe i will do that tomorrow. brain schedule is full up for today sorry #also. unrelated. i have my period???? again????? ive already had it this month hello i dont need another im good im all done #my hormones r going ??OAGHGHGHUH #also i want like . cute bra. but like not a bra like just cloth thats like. tit shaped. a bralet? is that what that is? no idea #anyway. hve nice evening. or else.#i have a headache #OH ALSO. i need to legally chnage my name SKFSABJSBK #put that on th todo list #i cant rmemeber how 2 do it i think it was very straight forward n cost like. £10 or smth

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thekittyokat · 29 days

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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again #the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys #saw #well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand #know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows #your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn #thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down #something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness #the transformation of a man into a monster #and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption #sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this #do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore #it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating #fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn #i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him #until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else #well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God #where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium #anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus #maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man #i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed #if only he hadn't been weaponized first #god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already #but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there #rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts #ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly #cat chat

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needylittlegirl · 2 months

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if you dont “believe” in aftercare you deserve to get run over by a bus btw

#tbd #saw a crazy tweet now im just thinkin abt how many people dont think aftercare is necessary #my ex didnt think it was needed ever #he would do crazy things specifically to avoid anything that could be taken as care or intimacy after sex #and it did awful things to my brain!!#i have such a weird relationship with sex now because i’ve never experienced aftercare #its crazy that people think its an absolute necessity #i remember one time he left immediately like he always did #so obviously i started crying cause its very confusing to have sex and then the person just walks out not even 5 mins after!!#especially for how young i was it was Confusing #and he came back cause he forgot his wallet or something so he saw me crying #got mad at me it become an argument etc etc cause i told him why i was crying #and he said to me and i Quote #‘expecting a guy to care about you after sex is idiotic and immature-#‘you should be glad you’re even getting laid in the first place so take what you can get and stop expecting guys to care abt anything else’#which is an insane thing to say and i Believed it for years #the fact i was sitting there crying and i told him it was bc he made me feel like he hated me and i was awful and a worthless girlfriend??#and that was his response ??? how crazy do you have to be #anyways. aftercare is always necessary and if you dont provide then one of you is gonna be suffering

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harrowharkwife · 1 year

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i hope yellowjackets never gives a clearcut answer vis a vis the whole "how much of it is the supernatural and how much of it is the trauma" question, but like, at this point my best guess for tai is that she physically has a screw loose in the most literal sense possible. like something is not right up there. and i don't even mean in the mental illness sense, they're all deeply traumatized and different shades of mentally ill at this point, but like- this degree of sleepwalking, and dissociating, and losing time? it's giving neurological damage, it's giving uniquely horrible and very strange form of traumatic brain injury. like that plane crash knocked something Loose i swear to god

#poor tai i feel SO bad for her. the beginning of this episode.... babygirl :(#personally i think some of it is mental illness/trauma and some of it is the supernatural bc this show likes to do both #but tai is like... on another level at this point #and yes she saw the man with no eyes as a child #but this is starting to feel like Something in the wilderness is able to break through and take control of her at night #BECAUSE she's basically 'checking out' of her own brain intermittently - those moments where she's not in the driver's seat of her own mind #Something Else is taking that as an opportunity and hijacking her body i think. that's my theory.#and she's just visualizing that Something Else in the shape of her terrifying childhood vision #does this make any sense.#yellowjackets #yellowjackets spoilers

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even-disco-baby · 1 year

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SOLA — Her Innocence, Sola— the anti-innocence— turns to face you. In the distance, you hear the tattoo of propellers, turning, sucking all the air. A strong wind whips her long, dark hair around her face. Her simple black gown billows behind her. The same gown she wore the day she resigned.

She has your eyes.

“Hi, Kim,” she says simply. “You don’t look well.”

PAIN THRESHOLD — Her voice is so familiar, and yet the moment she stops speaking, you cannot recall its sound, no matter how hard you try. And you have tried. Innumerable times.

AUTHORITY — What makes her think she would even *know* the difference between you looking well or unwell? She’s being presumptuous. She doesn’t even know you.

INLAND EMPIRE — She never will.

“I’m doing great, actually. Never been better.”

“Hey, I’m trying my best.”

“I’m *not* well. I’m so fucking unwell. I can’t take it anymore. Please, help me…”

“I’ll live.”

SOLA — “Hm…” She smiles apologetically. “Well, that’s all we can really ask for anymore, isn’t it?”

EMPATHY — She wishes more than anything that this was not the case. That you could ask for the world and have it.

RHETORIC — She tried to give it to you, and this is how you repay her? You’re gonna be in *deep* shit trying to explain that insignia you stitched onto her jacket.

“Um, about the jacket. It’s not what it… well, no, it *is* what it looks like. But I don’t— it’s— there’s nuance.”

“Is that really all you have to say to me?”

“I don’t know what to say to you.”

“Where are you going?”

SOLA — Her Innocence looks away from you, toward the wind. “Away,” she says, her voice distant and strange. “Yes… I’m stepping down, you see. The world doesn’t need me. It never needed me, really. It’s best for humanity to think for itself. No… it already *does* think for itself.”

She turns back to you with a small smile. The thought brings her peace.

PAIN THRESHOLD — But what does it bring *you?* She’s leaving you forever. Abandoning you for lofty ideals.

AUTHORITY — Let her go. Let her see how little you care. Don’t give her any satisfaction.

HALF LIGHT — Stop her. You won’t be able to live without her.

VOLITION — You have already lived almost all your life without her. You don’t need her. You have *never* needed her.

“What if the world *does* need you? Who are you to make that decision for the entire world?”

“Fine. Go. It’s none of my business.”

“So you’re just going to leave me behind again.”

“Please, don’t go. *I* need you.”

SOLA — “What else is an Innocence appointed to do?” Her smile turns wry. “You see? This is why I’m stepping down.”

Distant propellers turn and turn in endless circles. She glances toward them.

YOU — “Fine. Go. It’s none of my business.”

SOLA — “I suppose not.” Her voice and her face betray nothing. No sign of remorse.

YOU — “So you’re just going to leave me behind again.”

SOLA — “That was never my intention,” she says softly. “Surely you know that.”

INLAND EMPIRE — You will never truly know. No one will.

SOLA — She stares out at the horizon through the tendrils of hair that almost seem to threaten to swallow her. Her expression is strange and ambiguous, shifting every time you try and look directly at it.

YOU — “Please, don’t go. *I* need you.”

SOLA — She looks at you, and her eyes are full of what might be genuine sadness. But they could also be full of anything else.

“Oh, Kim… You must make do with what you have. I don’t know what else you want me to say…”

RHETORIC — What?! There are a million other things she could say! Forty-one years worth of possibilities! She could say *anything!* Anything at all… Even if she’d only left you a single word, it would be better than this…

VOLITION — It’s pointless to wish. Please, no more of this. It’s too sad.

“You could say that you’re sorry.”

“Say that I turned out all right.”

“Say that you’re proud of me. That you love me.”

SOLA — “Then I’m sorry.” She closes her eyes. “It was terrible of us to leave you alone.”

Her voice is utterly calm and emotionless.

PAIN THRESHOLD — No… Wrong, all wrong…

YOU — “Say that I turned out all right.”

SOLA — “You’re a good man despite it all. That is all I ever hoped for you.”

Again, there is no warmth to her words. No conviction.

VOLITION — Lieutenant… Please, don’t do this to yourself.

YOU — “Say that you’re proud of me. That you love me.”

SOLA — “I’m so proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished. You wear that jacket well.”

Her eyes have nothing behind them. A pair of two millimeter holes in the world.

“I love you.”

PAIN THRESHOLD — Your lungs seem to constrict at her words. Your chest hurts more than it’s ever hurt. This wind is hard to breathe in.

YOU — “No! Don’t you fucking get it?! You don’t love me!”

SOLA — “Then I don’t love you.”

YOU — “You should be *ashamed* of me!”

SOLA — “Then I am ashamed.”

YOU — “I betrayed you! I betrayed everything you stood for! I’m a fucking cop!”

SOLA — “Then I am betrayed.”

She proclaims it as dispassionately as she proclaimed her love.

YOU — “For god’s sake, *say something real!*”

SOLA — She just looks at you. The propellers keep on turning.

DRAMA — She can’t speak for herself, sire…

LOGIC — Of course she can’t. Of course…

PAIN THRESHOLD — Your lungs feel like they could collapse. Empty, crumpled, dark. Hot tears prick your eyes for the first time in what feels like a long time.

SOLA — “Do you understand now?” she asks gently.

LOGIC — She cannot speak for herself because you do not know what she would say.

There are many memories that you have been slowly recovering, little by little. Your mother will never be one of them. Her, the revolution, the aerostatic brigade— they all died before you could even comprehend loss.

AUTHORITY — You did not become a detective so that you could find your lost mother. You became a police officer because you did not want to end up like her.

VOLITION — She can neither forgive you, nor condemn you. She is dead, Lieutenant. She can only be what you make her.

RHETORIC — You’re asking your own echo for answers…

SOLA — “Humanity must think for itself,” she says again, turning again toward the wind. “What point is there in asking me where to go from here? I’m a failure. We all failed…”

RHETORIC — The revolutionaries failed their children, and the children are failing their parents, and all of them are dying, dying, dead… What’s the point in any of this anymore? I cannot argue in favor of any of it.

VOLITION — There is a point. There is a way forward. But you won’t find it here, Lieutenant.

“I hate you. You made me everything I am and then you just *left.*”

“I miss you… How is it even possible to miss someone you never met? It’s like someone ripped a part of me out and all I can do is bleed.”

“I don’t know what I am. I need you to tell me what I am.”

SOLA — One last time, she turns back to you. She slowly bridges the gap between you and reaches out a hand to cup your cheek. Her fingers feel like your own.

“You are whatever kind of animal you choose to be,” she says, so quietly that you don’t know how you can hear it over the distant roar of engines. “I cannot make that choice for you.”

EMPATHY — She died hoping that you would grow up with the freedom to choose to be whatever you wanted. Instead, the world that raised you hardly let you dare to want anything.

VOLITION — But you can still make a choice. Humanity can still think for itself.

#disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #swap au #should i tag sola? i kinda doubt i’ll ever need to use that tag again LMAO #anyway um. yeah.#tbh as fun as the swap au stuff is i wasn’t all that interested in it until my brain was like. SWAP DREAM SEQUENCE #and now suddenly i have like. lore for swap kim.#his breakdown isn’t bc of a breakup it’s over a crisis of identity #at first when he wakes up and starts inspecting stuff like his jacket and his notes #he starts finding out things abt his mother (a revolutionary aerostatic pilot who died and passed down the jacket to him)#and at first he’s like ohh i see im investigating her disappearance!#but he’s not. she’s dead. she died when the moralintern crushed the commune #kim grew up resenting both his parents for dying in a failed revolution #leaving him to grow up alone as a gay disabled seolite orphan #he became a cop and drank the moralist koolaid bc he didn’t want to be like his parents #and also bc he wanted to not be so powerless (and to be able to take shit out on other ppl just like canon kim)#but also just like in canon his experience in the rcm was just more of the same shit #he felt constantly humiliated and like a hypocrite and just compartmentalized hardcore #then he came to martinaise and saw the scars of the failed revolution and finally just snapped and broke down #he doesn’t even know what kind of animal he is other than he doesn’t want to be it anymore #so he pulls harry’s epic mind wipe binge and etc etc #anyway. coughs

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hauntingblue · 1 month

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Gear 5 luffy's laugh is so contagious I just hear the drums and go insane how does this work. What did he do to me

#i still cant believe how much this new opening theme goes off.... DREAM SAVE ALL OF US 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH 💥💥💥💥💥💥#wait a second. the robot attacked 200 years ago. the void century was 800 years ago no????? what #oh see it was made 900 years ago.... but why did it attack 200 years ago then.... what happened #it is still so funny how they made evegapunk einstein but with some cunty long legs #200 years ago they gave rights to the gyojin!!! i see i see ✍️✍️also i still wonder why law and kuma have similar hat and pants designs #like there is NO WAY that much similarity isnt done on purpose. NO FUCKING WAY!!! I NEED ANSWERS!!!#are they annihliating cp ships akdhakskd yeah vegapunk letsgo #also the opening song is about dreams and the end one is about luffy reaching shanks...... havent got a clue why but there it is #talking tag #watching one piece #episode 1098 #also is lucci named lucci bc it kinda sounds like luffy. SERAPHIM KUMA HAS HIS DEVIL FRUIT???? vegapunk could only make zoan fruits????#also wdym when cp0 acts it means its some historic event. lucci is like 25. where are the experienced people here #sentomaru works for vegapunk??? maybe i forgor about this tbh also do theu have a doffy seraphim??? the fact they have animal names....#stussy letting kaku get hurt akdhsjsn oh atlas has lamb ears..... and lucci said she is is prey... no..... the foresahdowing :(#lucci you fucked up she just gave luffy food... that a death sentence look what happened to kaido #episode 1099 #<- oh my god btw. god. jesus.#why is akainu telling the cp0 what to do or thinks he can do that... thats the world gov... also thinkng about how garp should fight him #and not luffy.... because of ace you know... i still wonder how did sengoku know who ace's father was... there is only one man who knew....#everyone trying to stop them from fighting ajdhsksjks two rabid dogs fr #LUFFY TAKING OFF HIS JACKET WHEN LUCCI ASKS FOR HIS WANTED SIGN!!!! GO OFF KING!!!! SLAY!!! THE CREW SAW HIM!!! FINALLY!!!#i have been smiling since he started the transformation this is so sick...... i have got a case of the luffy brain #zoan fruits steal the personality of the user when they awaken ✍️✍️ luffy???? nami being the only one who saw gear 5 <3 twins manifesto #robin being so shook about luffy being a god ajdbjansk wdym devil fruits exist because people wish for them. fairy magic real????#WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ARE FROM ALTERNATE REALITIES WHERE SOMEONE DREAMT ABOUT THEM??? DOES HE TRAVEL THRU REALITIES FOR THEM???#jinbe has been making this face 😧 every episode three times it is amazing ajdhaksnsk poor man... now he sees a kid angel version of himself #after seeing hia captain turn into a god... he is gonna get a stroke OMG SENTOMARU WE JUST GOT YOU BACK #episode 1100 #<- CRAZY. INSANE. OH GOD. ONLY 12 LEFT. THATS A WEEKEND!!! I CANT DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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honeyvenommusic · 3 months

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❗️NEWGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSAN-

#glass animals #honestly i wore out dreamland sm my brain took a lonnng break from expecting anything from them?? idk i’m just huh????#like….. when i say wore out #i cannot describe how much i listened to it #i usually have some vague idea even if it’s a ridiculous number #like 52 times in a month for an album or something (has happened)#i cannot recall w this #gonna say bc 2020 & they were Literally the last band i saw live. next morning everyone found out about everything annd lockdown. no joke #so it was big dreamland time when it dropped and revisiting their past albums when i broke out of its spell lmao #(pretty sure before that like january was when i listened to déjà vu 100+ times in a row tho so oop. it was a tough day lol)#anyway seeing this aww man. i really have had this band with me for a long long time. 🥹 i remember hearing gooey on the radio one night #driving home from work late @ night in 2014. the drive was so short i couldn’t be arsed to fish out my ipod & plug it in #sometimes so just popped on a good station i had preset. started the car and heard this *voice* and i was like who????#had to check the station bc it was an alt station and i thought i had it on another one which was fine i was just v confused #it was in the middle of the song & i was immediately anxious to know the name hoping i’d hear it & it wouldn't just flow into the next song #then the dj would pile the names together after x number of songs played bc i was tiired (but woulda stayed in the car ngl). got lucky &#ran inside to find it then yelled at my roommate the next day that she HAD to listen to it during a smoke session after work #(i was right & it blew her miiind)#god. what a fucking time. what a fucking band. idk what the disc horse is surrounding them now since they blew up via tiktok #i’m sure people are v quick to say they’re overrated bc of that but idk & i’m glad i don’t know. they’ll always be this #highly inventive incredible band i stumbled upon for the perfect night drive home after a long long shift #a band that came back from a Horrible accident that should have ended 1 of their lives & somehow didn’t & should have ended them #as a band (like still cannot believe Joe was drumming in 2020 & i saw it with my own eyes like how tf???!?)#a band deserving of all of its successes. glass animals forever

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plenilune · 8 days

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ohhhhHHHH my god so I haven't really been out dancing much at all this year due to Mental Health Reasons that I am slowly trying to shake off but I have just learned that tomorrow night my favourite discotheque is doing a CITYPOP AND 70S/80S JAPANESE DISCO NIGHT?????? for me, Alice? for ME PERSONALLY????????

anyway they also have some of the best couches in any bar or venue in the city so I will Also be hanging out and reading

#alice also just started a uh. a hot dog window. that i have not yet visited #theyre a great discotheque the last time i was there other than the time i had just got back on sertraline and literally had to RUN OUT bc #of my brain exploding and trying to vomit out my bones because of seeing any colours and hearing any sounds. well that previous time was #a night market on a blue moon night and i bought a vintage moonstone ring and saw an incredible local doomgaze band #anyway i have been trying to get my carcass to go out dancing again for months NOW IS THE TIME #the diary

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killjoy-prince · 4 months

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