touch // aventurine

i think he would be like a cat. come to you for affection? not a chance in hell. but ok..... you know maybe lean his head on your shoulder while you're reading on the couch. maybe you shift to accommodate him, drape an arm across his shoulders, pull him in, almost absently. no sudden movements, you'll scare him off. and if you're just gentle enough, he might let you. might remain where he is, head on your shoulder, unmoving but for the rise and fall of his breathing. no searching hands, no reaching — but you can stroke his hair, softly, occasionally. twirl it around your finger idly, no tugging, not too much. it'll make him smile, on a good day, but only when you're not looking.

today, he just sighs. you don't ask how he is — some things can't be put into words, and that's not what his are for — but you can rest your head atop his, breathe along with him, arm around his shoulders firm and gentle. if you're attentive, you'll feel the way he slowly, reluctantly lets go of the tension in his body— the coil in the base of his skull, the taut line drawing his shoulders up imperceptibly. he'll learn to melt in your hands, one day, but you'll have to earn it. for now, this is enough. maybe you melt first, forget what you were paying attention to initially, feel the warm weight of him against your frame, the scent of him, the ebb and flow of his breath, slowing to match yours; his pulse, slowing to match yours. he's let you this close, he might fall asleep on you. if you notice, you'll put what you're looking at away and twine the fingers of your other hand with his. he won't know how to ask for it, but if he hasn't completely drifted off, he'll squeeze your hand, gently. sleep, you'll whisper, i'll be here. and he won't reply, but you'll feel him press closer, soften against the shape of you, drift away. you watch him for a moment, watch the fan of his light lashes against his cheek, and how his eyes flick beneath his lids with unseen dreams. if you fall asleep with him, you might catch him as you're waking, an uncharacteristic softness in his features, before he notices you've noticed. maybe if the time is right, he won't care that you have. but you won't speak of it. you'll both wake, and he'll interrupt the moment, eventually, rise from the couch, put the mask back on, but the sweetness of it will linger, barely perceptible, only to you.