#i'm just..... annoyed. and ranting. and my brain is full. and i'm hungry. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

invinciblerodent · 2 months

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yknow, no, i'm not done thinking/posting/being deeply angry about the whole "bbuuuhhh Astarion is gay and was made playersexual as a game mechanic bbbuuuhhhhhhh" garbage some people still spout.

like this type of sentiment is always annoying and wrong, but it's specifically this character for whom it's especially annoying to me, just because on top of all the regular host of issues, it also deeply contradicts what I believe is the central theme of his whole goddamn story.

(excuse the rant please.)

Like, my skin already crawls at that term, "playersexual". I hate it, and find its use either vaguely ignorant at best, or blatantly pan/biphobic at worst. but even just besides that....

This character is a man whose narrative intentionally shows his presentation of himself, and of his masculinity, as being contradictory with convention. This character is one whose entire arc is about discovering who he is beyond the boxes he was assigned: a spawn, a monster, a seducer, a tool, a predator, a plaything, a victim, a sexual object... these are all identities that were forced onto him. And if he's given space to discover them, turns out, none of them are things that he actually wants to be. if you give him space, and affection (romantic or otherwise), and acceptance, and help him attain closure and catharsis, he expresses desire to be... an adventurer, a lover, a friend, a protector, so many things, but all of them in his own way. That's the point of his story, control vs. autonomy.

How.... myopic does one have to be to see that story, to play that story, to play an active, participatory role in that subversion, that search for the self beneath the masks, and declare that actually, they made him this other box for him to fit into, so... it's fine, i guess, to ignore what he says?????? it's fine if they pick and choose among his expressed traits which ones to use and which to disregard, because they decided (based on frankly homophobic and rather misogynistic stereotypes) that he cannot be different from their perception, despite him literally saying otherwise????????

Astarion's entire figure is a succession of trope-subversions. I could write essays about all the ways in which, in the romanced spawn game, the narrative sets up tropes (primarily in act 1), only to then purposefully knock them down and contradict them as the game progresses.

Like..... He was to take revenge by taking power for himself (like he thought he wanted, like Cazador did to Vellioth): ended up taking his revenge and rejecting the power that could have come with it, and despite that having a price, being content and grateful for it (and realizing that the alternative would have had an even greater price he would have paid unknowingly). He starts out using sex and sexuality as a weapon, and a tool of manipulation, like he did for many decades: ends up expressing discomfort with being seen as a sex object, resuming his sex life by saying "I love you" before his partner would have, and proposing sex with them as a beautiful metaphor for his own rebirth.

His whole story starts out with him thinking he requires protection from the player and that the only way to get that is through using his body and looks as a bargaining chip: later he discovers in himself a desire to be the protector himself, which he talks about more than once, and expresses varying degrees of discomfort at the thoughts of both using his body to gain something, and needing a protector.

There's the "this is what I'm good for" type of attitude towards sex morphing into "I am so much more than a thing to be used". There's the whole thing about how important his looks were to both him and his "usefulness" back then, despite him not being able to even fucking see them, (which also kind of includes that silly lovely gremlin-face he sometimes makes), but those are just the ones off the top of my head.

The story, and the romance plot, is about... it's about him regaining ownership of himself, it's about autonomy, his whole recurring "what do you want" line is about respecting his choices and letting him find his way to them, it's about letting him show you who he is, believing him, and loving the man behind the facade.

how absolutely fucking short-sighted does one have to be to then take that incredibly reductive stereotype of "femme-leaning man with theatrical mannerisms who cares about his looks; must be exclusively homosexual and any attraction he shows to women is just a mechanic/fanservice/flattery" (which, that's so fucking insulting to gay men, and bi/pan men, an any man who might express masculinity in a less than conventional way, and to the women who may love them [eta: and of course nonbinary people, and the people to whom masculinity means something wholly different]), and assign it to this character on their own accord, despite him literally telling the player otherwise? despite him verbally expressing attraction to multiple women, and contradicting that stereotypical interpretation wholly and out of pocket??????

like, hello??????? did we play the same game????????? did we play the same fucking game??????????

like don't think for one second that it isn't the pan/biphobia that annoys me more, it absolutely is, but this character is such a particularly egregious example, it's almost fucking poetic.

#squirrel plays bg3 #i feel like this needs a tw but i just. cannot think of what #i'm just..... annoyed. and ranting. and my brain is full. and i'm hungry.#point is; where Gale's central theme boils down to an exploration of devotion #Astarion's is about autonomy #these are the only two i've done so far so i've not yet looked this much into the others #next is gonna be me ranting for hours about Shadowheart's theme of sacrifice; just you wait #(i hope the person who replied to this post; deleted their reply; and then blocked me #knows how heartily I just laughed at that little sequence of events)#(it's like seeing; idk; a bottle of nice healthy kale-spinach juice discarded in the liquor aisle of a supermarket)#(a telltale sign of DecisionsTM made)#(I can respect a “yknow i don't want to engage with this today”)#(even if i will just outright say that i believe i'm right)

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princemick-archive · 2 years

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tw eating disorder mention

#besties wht the fuckerdie doddleknuckles #im so done #i hate this shit sm #im just fucking eating lunch that i made and I'm 'full' if ya know what i mean w that im sorry but like i keep eating bc well obv #im not fucking full so i take a fucking bite and my body goes 'haha no u wont swallow this' and I hqve that a lot where my brain and body #just refuses to fucking swallow food because fucking idk but normally I just chew through it to get some food in me #but fucking what the fuck my body really said no and I fucking had to spit it out cuz I felt like I was gonna trow up if i didnt #what rhe fuck #like to this extreme ive never had it and ive been struggling with dissordered eatinfg for 10 fucking years beo #i know during the summer my food intake gets worse but im sitting here half my plate is still full dude what thr fuck #i can normally get msyelf to eat more idk whats been up the last like 3 weeks but i can't fucking finish a plate of food #im so fucking annoyed #and im never hungry either #sit SUCKS #anyway #delete later #just wanted to rant for a lil #eating disorder tw #ed tw

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noco7 · 1 year

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*evil grin* I've asked you about your favorite TD moments, I now want to know your least favorite moments and why 😈

Thanks for the ask! I'll list the least favorite moments in the same way I did the best moments, aka season by season, in reverse order. However, I’m not going to be talking about important character moments this time. Because I don’t really hate those, even if I disagree with them. Although I question a lot of TD's writing decisions, I'm not usually angry. I'm just intrigued. Why did they make those decisions? How did those decisions affect the plot of the show? How did the fandom react? And is there a different way to interpret what happened? There’s just a lot to chew on, and I’m hungry for meta-analysis. So, yeah, while I disagree with a lot of choices, it doesn’t necessarily mean I hate them. If you see me being dramatic about a plot point I don’t like, chances are I was just hamming it up for the audience. So what about the moments I do hate? Well…

RR: I've already talked a lot about how much I disliked Noah's elimination, which is probably the REAL worst moment. But there is another moment that is living rent-free in my brain. I've watched RR once, so most things don't stick with me. But this one did.

It's Ep:11 I love Ridonc & Roll, which is surprising because I've praised this episode to the moon and back, calling it Noah's REAL best moment. And it is. But I dislike Emma in this episode. It's weird to me that she's Noah’s love interest, yet she can't even give him a quick pep-talk about stage fright. So instead, Owen does it. A classic romantic moment is to help people past their weaknesses - we saw it with Courtney helping Duncan face the cardboard cutout, we see Zoey reassure Mike about his DID, hell the thing that really starts Davesky off is that when Dave is feeling stressed because of his germophobia, Sky helps him focus. Whatever your opinions on Davesky are, the moment was still sweet. So it’s weird to me that Emma doesn’t get to do it with Noah. (Also now I’m realizing it’s mostly women comforting men. Hmm. Can’t tell if that means anything, or if I just missed something.) But anyway, that’s another reason I feel N*mma is a kind of weak ship, storytelling wise, because their huge emotional beats are with other people - Emma with Kitty, and Noah with Owen. Tbf N*mma has romantic beats, but that’s it. And I’ve already talked about those.

Anyway, that was just an unnecessary rant. The moment I’m actually here to talk about is after Noah proves himself. There's a scene where Emma talks about how she only realized how much she liked Noah when she was worried she'd never see him again. Which is fine. And she says she's going to stop taking him for granted. Good! And then Kitty jokes, "I don't know, are you sure he's still into you?

Emma and Kitty: *both start laughing for an extremely long time*

Emma: "Yeah."

Me, a N*mma hater: BUT HE SHOULDN'T BE! NO! NO!

Lmaoo, you would be surprised about how personally I took those lines. It felt like they were laughing at *me*, lmaoo. Honest to god, it felt like some redditor was smugly telling me how Noah liked Emma, you idiot! He'll never like anyone else! HAHAHA! You're so stupid! Except it was canon. And it was the writers.

I don't even think they meant it like that, lol. It was a joke at Noah's expense, not mine. And even if they had meant it like that, then it’s even funnier. I commend the boldness.

Pakhitew: There's not much I vehemently dislike about Pakhitew. Is there stuff I find annoying? Yes. Sammy and Amy's arc should have been longer. Topher should have been an intern Dakota-style. Scarlett should have had a different resolution to her arc instead of being duped by a Chris-robot. Oddly, as I go on and on about Pakhitew’s flaws, the more I feel endeared to it. Like a woman who purposefully goes to broken down houses, beams, and is like “I love fixer-uppers!” So many characters I liked that didn't get full arcs... characters I can make my own stories for, bring out my own paint. Yess… yesss… yesss.

But. One thing I do dislike a little more than the rest is the Ella vs Sugar thing. And also Sugar's elimination. They make a huge deal out of Sugar being a former child pageant. So when she gets the chance to design a challenge, she works her pageant background into it, via a talent show. And then she loses her own challenge. And tbh, this just feels *mean* to me? I know she had to go, for the Sky vs Shawn finale, but …. everyone else got to show off how good they were at their thing, but not Sugar? She's still being treated as a joke? Like this was their chance to show a different side of Sugar, or just capitalize on the intelligence she had already shown. But nothing? She just does a terrible job and embarrasses herself. It’s SAD.

Unpopular opinion but Sugar VS Shawn in the finale would have been lit. And her helper could have been Ella, and it would be great to see Sugar be forced to work with the girl she hates, and then maybe Ella sees the bad confessionals and realizes that Sugar never liked her or smth. And then... either she decides to be nice, or she decides to get the money to herself. I needed their arc to resolve.

Lingering_Reflection pakhitew rewrite when, amirite?

All Stars: There are so many All Stars things that didn't work. I could easily just say Jo's elimination because she's one of my favorite characters and therefore I was mad that she was eliminated. (Which is actually rare for me? I don’t care when my gen 1 faves get eliminated, because one, I knew it going in, and two, they have other seasons + TDR. I will get enough time with them either way. Can’t say the same for 2nd and 3rd gen 😭).

The only other All Stars moment I'm passionately angry about is Cameron kissing Courtney against her wishes. It's just. That's a bad thing to do? Like I get it, he's working on Mal's orders for his evil plan. And I love evil plans, and I even love the idea of Evil!Cameron. And I like Cody and Sierra, so it's not even like "i dislike problematic people," either. I just dislike how the show itself treats it.

There's no backlash for Cameron, no callouts. He’s happy with the results. Scott doesn't believe her. Gwen doesn't take her side. Zoey tells her "at least 2 guys kissed you," as if that's any better. I think TD plays fast and loose with sexual harassment as comedy, and this is one of the moments it really shows.

ROTI: I genuinely really love this season, I really really really need to rewatch it. And uhh. I really dislike B's elimination, because it was so heartbreaking. But I also really like Scott, and it was a smart move. So not that. The thing I dislike is one line from Sam - which… I can’t find now? I’ve watched like two episodes, and two Sam compilation videos, and uhh. Nothing. So. Umm. Just not going to say anything, other then the fact that the worst moment about this season being one I imagined speaks to how much I like this season. (Tho there are some things I’d correct, and I suspect I’ll find new things on rewatch.)

World Tour: Okay, another personal one. I dislike C*derra pretty heavily, I don't think that should be a suprise to anyone. I do find most of their interactions funny, and while I don't think Cody *should* be friends with Sierra, it makes a lot of interesting story potential, whether you play it for fluff or for horror.

But there is one thing I just can't look past. In Episode 25, when Cody's balloon has crashed and he gives up, Sierra starts yelling at him.

"You want a number one fan, mister? That comes with responsibilities! You can't let me and the rest of your fans down!"

And there is so much wrong with those sentences? Sure Sierra is a "Number 1 Fan," yeah, but she's also a STALKER. For most of this season, Cody DIDN'T want her! He didn't! Because she treats him terribly! Sure she’s been nice to him a few times, but overall she’s abusive. It’s a straight-up Mother Gothel moment. I do everything for you, so you can’t let me down. Bro, you’re a terrible person! You don’t deserve anything from your VICTIM!

And even if she wasn't a stalker, and just a genuinely nice fan, who did no wrong - her statement is terrible. I'm an ex-kpoppie, so I've seen fan celebrity dynamics, and the question of "how much do creators owe fans and vice versa," is something I have strong feelings about. Yes, celebrities do have responsibilities. You can’t be famous if you don’t DO anything, and you usually can’t *keep* being famous if you stop producing content. That’s true. But the idea that you should do something purely because “you can’t let the fans down,” is toxic.

Because there will always be things out of your control, and there will always be times where you’re just not into something. And yes, if you have promised something, you should try to deliver. Especially when there’s money involved. But Cody did not promise *anyone* that he would win. He didn’t promise anyone a hot air balloon ride from Alberta to New Mexico? What? To say he owed her, or his fans, even an attempt, is weird to me. Sierra was a fan by choice. She decided to root for him! So Cody should also be allowed to make his own choices. He’s allowed to quit. And if that means that you as a fan, feel betrayed, then whatever. Choose to support someone else. Because it’s your choice, and you cannot force your choices onto others, just because you “deserve it,” for…. Liking them? Like it makes no sense. I love you, so you must do something… no. That’s not how it works! If you love someone, you do something. Because it’s your feelings, not there’s! It stinks of fan entitlement. And I don’t even like celebrities - like I’m not out here to defend celebrities for their mistakes. But Cody wasn’t “making a mistake,” he was just trying to quit on his own terms. And Sierra yelled at him for it, and told him he owed her to try harder!

But I understand why she feels entitled, because I've seen it in a lot of kpop fans. A LOT of fans invest huge amounts of money and time into their idols. There's so much pressure to be a "good fan," a "true fan." You not only have to buy their music, but you must promote their music, you must stream their music, you must vote for their music, you must praise each and every one of them, you must defend each and every one of them - it becomes a job. A job that fans do, willingly, or unwillingly, because they like the idol that much. And if you’re putting in that much work… wouldn’t you want the same kind of dedication in return? Imagine hyping up someone’s upcoming concert for weeks, and then they cancel it. Wouldn’t you be a little angry? You were so excited, you did your part and they didn’t do theirs. “Stress,” or whatever. Sure. You’re stressed too. But if they want fans like you, they owe you top-tier performances. But you can’t think like that. You can’t. I understand your feelings, but you cannot try to control someone else’s life. In fact, the more you truly love a person, the less you should want to control them. Sometimes things happen, and you have to accept that. Take the refund and go. People are allowed to quit, allowed to take hiatuses. People aren’t machines that output what you put in - they have their own lives, and their own issues, and like. Just stop. (This attitude isn’t actually that common in kpop, but it is there.)

Basically, my argument is that what Sierra says to him, that he owes the fans something he’s never promised, and something he doesn’t want to do - is very unethical. There are people who like this moment, and I get it. "Wow, Sierra's finally holding Cody accountable! Finally, she’s making HIM do something!" And that is a flip from the way Sierra usually treats Cody - at least on the outside.

But Sierra isn’t the victim in the Cody-Sierra relationship. She never was. She's always been demanding more for him, or not even demanding - just taking! She’s been touching him and kissing him against his will, she’s guilt-tripped him. Yes, she puts up with a lot of disrespect from Cody. But he’s put up with a lot more, and everything he’s done has been a reaction to her. So no, this isn’t really character development for Sierra. This is just a different shade of entitlement. Action:

Umm. I think everyone knows that the way Trent was handled sucks. We also know that Gwen didn't deserve flack for dumping him. Gwent sucked in Action is not a hot take. And I've also already talked way too much. So just take this screenshot:

"What can I say? Kid's hot." I don't think you need me to tell you why that line is wrong. There’s also the finale, which also isn’t a hot take. But my problem with the finale is less that I dislike the contestants, but more that I don’t think they fit the theme. The finale is heavy on Good VS Bad, which is a classic. I don’t have a problem with that. And Duncan does fit “Bad.” But Beth doesn’t fit “Good.” There’s the time where she kissed Harold against his will (eww), the numerous times she bragged about her boyfriend when people weren’t into it, the time Courtney made an alliance with her, and there was a whole thing about how she wasn’t as nice and naive as Courtney believed her to be. Like that was the point! That she could hold her own! The alliance ends with her betraying Courtney! Betrayal! And then I’m supposed to believe she’s the GOOD side? I don’t think she’s evil, or even that bad. But she’s not nice. She’s average! To be fair, it could be argued the only nice character on TD is Owen. And Owen was already a finalist. But if so.... just don’t make a good vs bad finale? (Or don’t eliminate Geoff and Bridgette immediately. Or Harold. Or Leshawna. Hmm. There were so many better candidates to fir this theme. Why Beth? I need to know. If anyone has any ideas, please tell me.) Island: There were actually two moments here, but I decided to cut it down to one. It’s Heather reading Gwen's diary outloud. And this is not because I am a Gwen stan. I’m a Gwen centrist, if anything. This moment is here because it’s stupid. There’s a lot of stupid TD moments though, so what’s so special about this one? Uhh, it’s just the reason I don’t care for Heather. With faves like Courtney and Scarlett and Amy, you’d think Heather’d fit right in. But nope! And that's because I expected more from her. To be frank, I was expecting Alison DiLaurentis from Pretty Little Liars. I'm talking master manipulator, gaslighting genius, bachelor's in bullying. And Heather's just... not. And yeah I'm holding her to unfair standards, but come on. Why read Gwen’s diary aloud? Like, what did she expect to happen? Yes you've humiliated Gwen, but you haven't actually made her look BAD. You’ve just made yourself look like a bully. Heather could have pulled a Regina George, and wrote random mean things in Gwen's diary, read it outloud, and had the whole team turn on Gwen. She could have revealed something genuinely disgusting, made the team trust Gwen less. She could have held off, and used info from it as blackmail. But nope! Instead she reads it aloud, and it's just the Trent crush? Like no one cares. No one cares!!! What did you accomplish, Heather? What did you accomplish? Nothing! It feels so middle school. Do better! Tl;dr: Most of my least favorite moments are really just personal peeves, instead of problematic plot points. Or like. I just hate sexual harassment. Not that it can’t be shown in media, but I’d rather it be taken seriously. Bonus: the tags that I couldn’t post because of an error message

#total drama #i should probably make a tag for my asks #also im pretty sure i know which anon this is #so thanks #td askbox #not sure i like that #also this doesn't mean i'll never have a gwen-cody friendship in my fic #that one's still up in the air #i just don't see a reason why gwen would WANT to be cody's friend #especially when owen and geoff are right there

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lucyjadesilverson · 4 years

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Talk

Note: All characters are speaking Korean but you guys will read it as English. Sometimes Y\N and Namjoon will speak in english.

"Oh come on, you can't be serious, mum wouldn't say that." You chuckled down the phone to your sister. It was now 7am, Sunday in Seoul and 11pm, Saturday in England. You were speaking to her before she went to bed and before you started learning your new choreography for the 34th golden disk awards.

"She did, it was hilarious. You should of seen Nan's face" she laughed back.

Your choreographer, Yoongi and Namjoon came through the door of the dance studio catching your attention.

"Right, babe I gotta go. Talk tomorrow?" You said to your sister, watching how Namjoon looked at you when you said 'babe' but you called a lot of family members that, your sister, your sister in law, your mum, your aunties, even your brother when you were being sly and bitter with each other.

"Okay hun. Love you" She said with a yawn at the end.

"I love you too." You said smiling before you ended the phone call. You looked up noticing the stare Namjoon had on you was now an angry one making your eyebrows crash together. You shrugged it off, walking over to your members.

"How's your sister?" Dani asked making the Korean speaking part of your brain ignite.

"Yeah she's good, just tired from work and the kids." You replied sympatheticly.

"I can't believe she's the mum of two, she's only four years older than you." Taylor said while stretching her legs.

"Technically one of them is her step daughter but we don't use the word 'step' in our family." You replied starting to stretch too.

"What do you mean?" Taylor inquired.

"Well to us it doesn't matter wether you are married into the family or born into it. Family is family. I mean my favourite Auntie is actually my step Auntie." You said moving to do the splits. Noticing that the boys were listening to your conversation and that Hoseok had now joined them.

"Jinjja yo?" Ashley chirped in making you nod.

"Wait I though you said you didn't have favourites?" Dani asked with a smirk.

"I don't, well, it only because she's more like a big sister than an Auntie. My sister and Brother both agree too." I said making them nod.

"Okay girls, let's start." The choreographer said smiling and standing in front of us.All four of us bowed at her before she started teaching us the new moves.

Throughout the session, Yoongi switched from looking at his phone and talking to the boys. Hosoek was watching the choreo intensely and pointing out things to us if we got it wrong. And namjoon kept his stare on you. You found it weird but continuously shrugged it off.

You and Namjoon were extremely close, you even had dirty inside jokes, usually in English, because you and him were the only ones who could understand English fluently. It was usual for him to observe you and tell you, not ask, but tell you whether you were hungry, tired, bored, annoyed, even horny. He knew all your emotions.

He could read you like a book and you could do the same to him but you didn't tell him if he was hungry, you would just buy him food or drag him to the napping area and make him sleep. He loved that about you.

You preferred to just do rather than talk about it first, and it was exactly the same with your work too. If you had a new idea about a dance or new lyrics you would practice or write down the words rather than telling someone first.

Practice was half way done now, everyone had learnt the dance now you all had to practice and strengthen your weak points. You walked over to the boys making grabby hand at Namjoons glass of water he held in his hand. All the boys chuckled at your childlike action before Namjoon handed you the full glass.

"Thank you Oppa." You smiled but squinted slightly watching him tense up at the nickname.

All three boys stared at you, making you realise what you had said. Oppa. You never used that word. Yes, it was to show respect for guys older than you but you made it clear to all the boys at big hit that you would not be calling them Oppa even though you respected them greatly. They all agreed, well except a few, but after a while they got used to the different nicknames you had for them.

You started and to squirm under their gaze, seeing slight smirks form on each of their faces.

"Oh fuck me." You said annoyed as you spilled the drink while squirming. Namjoon chuckled and said.

"Okay" making both of you laugh. The others looked at you confused making you laugh harder.

"None of that kind of talk Mr.Kim." You said in your British accent that he absolutely adored.

He was obsessed with it for sure, always trying to get you to say stuff in your native accent. You had picked up a slight American one when speaking English in Korea because the people who spoke English, that you hung out with, had American accents but you could easily switch between the two.

"I'm not sure what you are talking about Miss.Y/L/N." He said trying to imitate you but failing on the pronunciation which you found adorable considering you loved the way his native tongue change the sound of certain words.

You giggled taking a sip of water and handing the drink back to him before going back to practice. You saw the boys whispering to each other in the mirrors on the walls. Your eyes narrowed wondering what they were saying, but your attention was caught elsewhere when Ashley asked for your help with a dance move.

You helped her and then Dani when she asked. You were finished with Dani and turned to see Taylor standing in front of you with a smirk. You look at her suspiciously.

"Wanna dance?" She asked holding her hand out to you and bowing slightly making you grin cheekily and take her hand.

"Why yes I would." You replied laughing as they girls behind you started.

"Yeah yeah shut up, just cause you two are the dancers of the group." Ashley said still trying to figure the dance move you taught her ten minutes ago. You and Taylor giggled going over to either side of them and pushing them together so you stood in a line facing the mirrors. You stood on the right end, Ashley next to you, Dani next to her and Taylor at the other end.

Taylor held your hand behind and in front on them blocking them in while the song Shake Santa Shake came on through the speaker making the girls look at both of you and start laughing. It was the first song you all recorded and learnt a group dance to, you all loved the Christmas performance. It was a fan favourite when you performed it at a KBS Christmas special concert.

All of you girls smiled before performing the song from your first mini album. After you were done the boys clapped making you turn around and notice that all seven members of BTS were now in the studio. All four of you bowed to them as they clapped.

"Yah, that was so good." Jungkook said smiling as he leant against the wall.

"I remember when you first performed that." Taehyung's deep voice sounded in the room making the rest of the boys nod in agreement.

"Okay girls we are done for the day. Rest up and we can practice again tomorrow." The choreographer said.

"ne seonsaengnim!" You and your members said cheerfully while bowing to her. She left the room.

"We are going to the chill room, you all coming?" Jin asked while standing next to Jimin.

Everyone nodded and all left the dance studio.

¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥

It had been a few hours since dance practice and you were typing out some important work on your iPad, when you couldn't figure something out and decided to google it, but it wasn't giving you the answer you wanted. Your lack of sleep today led you to be a little snappy.

"You know what fine, fine. Be a dick then. Be a dick!" You ranted at your iPad before taking of your headphones and looking up to find your members and the boys staring at you.

"What it's being a dick!" You said defensively pointing at your iPad making Namjoon chuckle.

"You're speaking in English love." He said as his eyes scanned over the words of his book.

Love. That stupid nickname he picked up on his last visit to London. Now he's the dick, for making me feel all tingly.

"I know I am!" You snapped at him making him look at you and raise an eyebrow. His eyes squinted for a moment before he closed the book he was reading and got up off the opposite couch, to stand in front of you.

"You're tired. Go to sleep. Now." He commanded but in a soft tone.

"I'm not tired." You grumbled quietly like a small child. He sighed running a hand through his hair before grabbing under your legs and and placing a hand on your back. In one swift motion you were throw over shoulder as he carried you out the room. You saw your members and the boys laughing as the door closed.

"Namjoon put me down!" You yelled slapping his back gently not wanting to hurt him.

"No." He simply answered making you frown.

"Whyyyyyy?" You whined catching the attention of the boy trainees that were in the lunch hall eating. He ignored your question.

"Fine then tell me why we are in the lunch hall...where all the boys are." You said while you smiled nervously at entire lunch hall that was staring your way.

Some staring in awe at the two Idols that ha just walked in and others staring and laughing at the fact that the famous Kim Namjoon had you, a fellow Idol over his shoulder. You were used to boys considering that your group were the only girls in bighit other than the staff.

"You are hungry and so am I." He stated calmly picking up some food for both of you.

"Am not." You whined again flicking his back. He chuckled ignoring your whining as he walked out of the hall. He went to the lift and continuously ignored the looks and whispers of the trainees and staff that you passed on the way.

He walked up to the sleeping area. Which was basically a room with four single beds and a bunch of giant bean bag seats. He placed you down on one of the bean bags and then sat comfortably beside you. He began to unwrap the samgak kimbap.

You look around the room until his fingers under your chin turned you to face him, as you did the familiar taste of samgak kimbap, filled your mouth. He was feeding you. You huffed and took it from him eating it making him smirk to himself.

After you'd finished eating you lay your head back against the soft material and closed your eyes. Damn you really were tired. You felt your head being lifted and gently placed back down on something warm but harder than the bean bag. Your eyes opened to see it was Namjoon's shoulder.

"Sleep." He told you making you huff and close your eyes once more.

"Meanie." You whispered under your breath.

"Yah. If I was a meanie do you think I would have brought you food and let you sleep on my shoulder? Meanies don't do that." He said his voice slightly raising making you open your eyes and stare at him.

"Why are you freaking out so much?" You asked confused but he ignored your question and continued his rant.

"If I'm such a meanie why don't you get your boyfriend to do this for you!" He shouted making you frown.

"Boyfriend? What makes you think I have a boyfriend?" You asked completely confused.

"Don't play dumb Y/N. You were speaking with him this morning. You call him babe and said that you loved him." He growled making you roll your eyes.

"That was my sister dummy! I call all the girls of my family Babe. That's just how we talk to one another!" You yelled back trying to get through to him.

His lips made an 'O' shape and he sighed half in relief and disappointment at his behaviour.

"Why would it matter if I had a boyfriend anyways." You mumbled under your breath crossing your arms. In a instant his lips were on yours in a passionate kiss that made your head spin. Your lips moved in sink with one another. A small moan came from you as he gripped your hair tightly and you felt him smirk into the kiss.

"That's why it matters." He whispered after pulling away.

Vocabulary.

{Jinjja yo : Really?}

{ne seonsaengnim! : yes, teacher}

{samgak kimbap : basically sushi but shaped like a triangle}

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brimbrimbrimbrim · 7 years

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Hello! I just want to say I absolutely love your writing and your work and I am so glad I found your blog! I wanted to see if I could request like a mini fic if at all possible because you are honestly one of the few people who manage to capture Wrenche's personality perfectly? I'm having a lot of issues with depression today and it's particularly bad and I was wondering what a goofy adorable Wrench might do to try and cheer someone up?

Anon, I’m sorry to hear you’re having a rough patch. I’m glad I can provide something nice for you to read in the hopes it makes you feel a bit better. Thank you for your wonderful compliments! I have a larger Wrench fic in the works, but hopefully, this will work for now.

I have also posted this on AO3 for an easier read. LINK

Something was up. You only know that because the garage has been quiet for the past hour. At first, you hadn’t realized what that tickle in the back of your head had been, but you realize now that it’s the lack of power tools and robotic sounding ‘fucks’ coming from Wrench’s ‘special’ corner that troubles you. When that particular black cloud decided to hang over your head - which happened at random, lasting however long it wanted - you rarely paid much attention to the outside world. The fact that Wrench’s garage is dead silent, and that you noticed it at all, could only mean he’d stepped out when you weren’t looking or… more realistically, that a bomb was about to go off.

From behind your shoulder, you peer across the bright, dusty expanse of the hangar, spotting Josh’s green hooded-back, researching HaDoCk’s latest batch of emails in his own quiet way. You blink with a slow measure of bleakness, exhaling darkly against the blanket you had draped over your head for the past twenty-four hours. Saftey; you think morosely. The scratchy weight of the fabric doesn’t really help, but you feel a little less like falling into the floor with it blocking out the world around you.

Same principle as hiding under the blankets to escape the monster when you were a kid. The monster was gonna eat you if it wanted, and even as a kid you knew that, but you still hid under the covers anyway. Looking out across the messy garage, you realize why you were more able to keep your chin up in this corner than if you’d been camped out on the hood of the old caddy - the place was pure chaos. Like a grenade went off in here, you think, frowning.

It was Wrench’s garage after all. Maybe a grenade had gone off at some point.

Fuck it… you think, twisting back towards your computer screen with a loud, metal screech. You don’t startle, just wheeze at the animated sight before you - spikes, leather and mischief. There, sitting cross-legged on the desk is Wrench; emotes of double carets staring at you and one of those party crackers in his hands.

Please… no….

“Congratulations!” He exclaims, pushing on the plunger, showering you in confetti and cheap paper streamers. For a second, emotion flickers in your chest, but it’s definitely not the type meant to be in response to party favors. In a deep, mocking announcer voice, he continues, “What has she won Jimmy?! What’s that? Is it - it’s a neeeewwww… no, it’s not new, but it is handsome if not a little rough around the edges.”

Wrench gives you a tilde-caret wink as the last of the party fodder drifts down around you. Your heart flutters just enough to tell you you’re not completely dead inside, but your lips just don’t care to twitch, let alone smile. Poised there, on your desk, Wrench leans forward as if waiting for the laughter you must surely be about to rip.

With a heavy breath, you blink and part your lips, demanding, “What?”

Even to you, the question sounds dead. Not even your prescribed medication, meant for moments like this, have helped any. If Wrench wants some attention, then he’s better off finding it anywhere but here. You’ll only disappoint him and that, you’ve come to realize, is not something you want to do. Wrench won’t help, just like the pills haven’t helped and if anything, his little attempt at cheering you up just annoys you.

In all honesty, these past few days of feeling empty nearly allows you some perverse enjoyment in being frustrated by him. It’s something at least, though it sucks about as much as that raw, hungry sensation in your core.

Wrench clears his throat, double carets flattening out into underscores before he - inelegantly - reaches forward to sweep the confetti and crap off your blanket-covered shoulders. You side-eye his hand, watching the bones and veins flutter underneath his incognito dude tattoo.

“Well, I’ve done all I can. Time to take you out to pasture,” he tells you, voice chipper but hesitant as he flicks a bit of paper off the top of your head. Double x’s pop up and with a short huff of laughter, he kicks a foot up on the edge of the desk, throwing an arm over his knee before finishing with, “I bought a dozen donuts as a backup plan, you know… in case I had to raise this situation to a DEFCON two.”

As if to clarify he adds, “I’m not going to put you down… just FYI.”

Most of that passes through one ear and out the other. A voice in the back of your head whispers that whatever Wrench is doing is meant to make you feel better, but it’s not worth it. You sigh, billow out your blanket of shiny crap, rearrange it over your forehead and huddle back into code-compiling mode.

Left without a response Wrench twitches, shifting on the desk; legs collapsing over the edge. His ankles swing back and forth. He hums off-key, eventually whistling something that sounds like ‘It’s a Small World’ until you send a pointed glare his way.

Instead of leaving you alone to wallow in misery, his mask blinks double carets, “I know what you need!”

In a short second - so fast the computer screen shakes - he’s off the desk and darting away like a fucking felon, but he’s gone and that deflated part of you that was trying to be social sighs in relief, settling back into a dark pit; making itself scarce once again. Some part of you appreciates the effort, but a greater part of you doesn’t care at all about Wrench trying to ‘cheer’ you up.

He comes back five minutes later with a cardboard box in his hands. You watch with half-lidded eyes as he crawls up over the desk, knocking over a speaker.

“Oo, sorry,” Wrench mumbles, sounding… a little cute, but mostly you exhale, realizing he doesn’t sound like much of anything. He leaves black scuff marks as he skids up, standing on the desk with only a slight wobble. Your fingers pause, hovering over the shift key as he steps over the screen, legs spread with one foot on either side of the keyboard. Gently, Wrench lowers the cardboard box over the monitor with double zero’s and x’s flipping back and forth over his mask.

You blink slowly, watching him crouch behind the monitor, knees on either side of the cardboard box that happily reads, ‘SuNshiNE & PiZZa.’

“My treat, but if we don’t get pineapple on half, I’ll leave your ass at the Pier.”

It takes a lot of effort, but you manage a weak, “…not hungry.”

If you were capable of feeling any worse, you’d feel shitty for the dejected way Wrench plucks his custom made monitor cover off the screen, shuffles his way off your desk and accidentally kicks over the speaker for a second time, before hopping out of sight.

Two more times he shows up - once with a dirty apron on, holding a car jack like a dog while spouting off hammed up lines from ‘Silence of the Lambs.’ The second attempt at cheering you up ends with fire. You’re not sure how he manages to set the cement floor on fire, but it’s only sorta, not really amusing to watch him out the corner of your eye as he stomps out flames with ‘Come Sail Away’ on full blast behind him.

After the smell of burning rubber fades away and the garage is silent once again, you decide it’s safe to say Wrench has finally given up.

For ten solid minutes, you’re left alone… or maybe the time on the computer is off, and it’s been four hours. It feels like it’s been forever when the reassuring keys under your fingers rip away - someone is dragging you by the back of your chair. The computer screen grows smaller and smaller and stagnant air ripples the edges of your safety blanket. Without reason, a blush rushes into your cheeks as Wrench’s mask slips close against the back of your neck. You can hear his static-laced breath beyond the thick blanket as he drags you and your chair across the garage.

Fingers white on the armrest and knees tucked up; you hold on with muted surprise as Wrench spins you around. Your world swirls like a bad drunken night for a few seconds before he halts your chair; your body jerking at the sudden stop.

Laid out in front of you is his table saw, cleared of all the metal dust and plastic chips. For a moment it almost looks like he’s scrubbed it down, but you blink at the telltale smudge of oil and feel your eyebrows pinch.

“Voila! Welcome to Casa de Wrench,” the forced French accent doesn’t work when filtered through his mask. He sounds like if HAL and Mario had a baby… wait Mario was Italian… ugh, you can feel your brain literally sigh as a tattooed hand, sporting rubber black bracelets, starts waving across the ‘spread.’

“We’ve got these round things with sugar. These - these are… also round, but! - these are fitted with the choicest of dulce and sprinkles. Just imagine the poor unicorn that had to cry those things out for you.”

It’s nice - it really is but-

“I also got you a black coffee with two sugars and a shot of battery acid,” he rants off, so quick and… awkward that it actually throws you for a loop. With a curious expression, you peer up at him past the drape of the simple checker-print blanket and find him looking down at you with running ellipsis.

Say something; you’re more apt mind whispers.

With a frown, you look back at the mess of donuts - most of them crushed as if Wrench had accidentally sat on the box at some point - and the extra large paper cup of coffee.

There’s a little plastic seal sitting off to the side… you note that it’s been placed further away as if Wrench hadn’t wanted to make the little extra addition as obvious as the donuts and coffee.

Coffee and donuts were easy to pass off as a friend looking out for another friend, but a little trinket like that? With a careful hand, you reach out, crossing the spectacle of sugar and caffeine to pluck up the plastic seal. It’s cheap - one of the gimmicky things those t-shirt vendors by the waterfronts sell to tourists, but… it tickles your chest; makes you feel just a little bit lighter, and while you can just barely hear Wrench mumble excuses for the gift, your lips twitch upwards.

Beside you, Wrench goes quiet.

For the first time today, you slip the weight of your blanket off your head and smile. The gesture doesn’t even feel forced - it doesn’t hurt to make, and the soft sound of Wrench’s exhale only makes the faint smile curl further. There’s still a pit in your stomach - a heaviness weighing you down, but it doesn’t feel as dark. Even the world seems a little less gray and pallid.

When you turn towards him, he’s leaning back with two thumbs up, swaying them to and fro in a silent question. Better or worse?

“…better,” you whisper, eyes crinkling with a little wave of contentment.

Your weak response literally causes Wrench to jump for joy, arms in the air, releasing a loud ‘whoop’ of noise.

“Fucking awesome!” he shouts, turning at the waist just to throw a finger at Josh across the garage, who’s staring blankly at the two of you, “Fucking told you I had the magic touch.”

“I,” Wrench inhales dramatically, “am The Whisperer.”

“Usually that term is meant to follow a noun, also acting as an adjective-” Josh interjects.

Beside you, Wrench’s mask drops into underscores, followed by inward arrows of frustration, “Oh my god, shut’the’fuck’up. It’s an overall term.”

To demonstrate said ‘overall’ term, Wrench caresses the air into a circle, spiked shoulders hunched forward. It’s serious and yet not - much like Wrench’s personality is. He’s always full of piss and vinegar - rainbows and dynamite. It’s infectious.

An amused sound trickles into your ears as Wrench mimes his ‘overall term’ while Josh grimaces. It isn’t until Wrench is looking at you with question marks and Josh is staring wide-eyed that you realized you’d laughed. Giggles bubble up under your oversized hoodie, and they only rise into fits of laughter as Wrench’s fist pumps the air, whispering about how majestic he is.

By the time your throat is raw - breathless with laughter - it feels like all that black tar settled in your gut is gone. You shift in your chair, smiling, feeling ten times lighter with the little toy seal gripped in your hands. Colors come back - the world brimming with crisp edges and glitter. The tuned down thrashcore in the corner filters into your ears and as if on cue, your stomach grumbles.

When was the last time you’d eaten? Yesterday morning, maybe.

Only slightly oblivious to Wrench watching you eat - hiding the heart emotes under his hoodie - you take a sip of perfect, hot coffee and ready your tongue for a round hollow disk of deliciousness.

Wrench, you decide, is a fucking national treasure.

#ask #anon #wrench #watch dogs wrench #fanfic #fluff #wrench/reader

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