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#i'm gonna tag my precious mutuals hope it's okay ^^;
serizawazs · 1 year
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Hello!
I made a ko-fi sometime ago, but decided to spread the word just now ^-^
If you enjoy my content and want to support me in this everlasting wild ride that is gifmaking, buy me a ko-fi! For every ko-fi you donate, feel free to make a request through my askbox ^-^
It’s hard to find a job in my field, especially since I had to quit my full-time job due to mental health issues and now I work as a freelancer. Which is good at least because I can finally sleep more than 30 minutes a day and have more time to photoshop and improve my skills in gifmaking (nothing brings as much joy as coloring the same gif in 3 different ways and still not being sure which version to post *w*).
Every help is appreciated, so if you could reblog it and spread the word, I’d be forever grateful❤️ Thank you!
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sollucets · 9 months
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@troubled-mind's 5 ql songs tag ✨
When you get this, list 5 songs from the Asian QL shows that you actually listen to. 🎶They do not have to be custom-made for the series. 🎶Non-western tracks only. Let's support Asian music and languages! 🎶Feel free to tag anyone who may be interested in participating. 🎶Add #5qls tag to your post for others to find the new favourites!
i'm not sure who to tag (maybe @hoppipolla my other Music Mutual; no pressure 💜) i hope i've done this right; let's go!
boun - your smile / between us
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actually all of the between us osts they released post-series & their mvs slap, so it was really really hard to pick one. (regular ost good also,💜 u boy sompob). please also consider prem's it's always you & yacht&o's unexpectedly (yacht is such a good singer?????) but this one's my favorite. it's just so peppy and cute :')
coldin - romantic devil / semantic error
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i went into this tag game knowing it'd ruin any chance of people thinking i am an Obscure Music Liker:tm:. yes my choices are popular but it's okay. romantic devil slaps so hard you guys there's just no getting around it. i highly recommend it for pretending u are in a music video while shopping, it's a really good soundtrack for that (also this live clip??? 💜💜💜)
khaotung - over the moon / the eclipse
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look. look what did you expect
(to be clear my favorite khaotung song is actually never too late, but i haven't seen 55:15, so i can't in good conscience put that on here. listen to it it's so good)
i listened to over the moon prior to watching the series actually, courtesy of my spotify recs, and i do just really like it. there's a pretty decent chance it's gonna be in my top 10 in spotify later this year, i'd say. i love how echoey & vibey it is
gemini - hook / my school president
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this is the best msp song don't @ me. sorry rock & star it is pretty close, but not that close. i always like a song like this that is about other songs (hozier's almost / sweet music too, ex); it suits tinn's character and the themes of the episode it's introduced in and it's just a very pretty song. gemini has such a nice high singing voice
beverly - andante hourglass / our dining table
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i don't think i've seen it like, listed as that english title, but that's what sunadokei means. the ending theme of bokushoku is on kat's original list and also very very good, so a secondary add here, but i really like this op. her voice is very pretty & the song is bouncy and cute, and the lyrics meaning is so..... soft. about a slow-moving hourglass and the precious, dreamlike time we have, and that even when it runs out itll be okay. share all your sorrows and happiness as much as possible [cries a little]
bonus: gawin caskey's cover of bird thongchai's fog or smoke / dark blue kiss
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gawin is the only bl guitar boy i'll defend to the death. ill defend some others but not to the death). this scene in dbk.... i actually stopped & went hunting for the original song (a banger!) bc i just really enjoyed his voice & how well the song & the ensuing conversation suited mork.
here's a full cover from a fanmeet with podd (although beware the audio quality and, bless him, podd joining in)
(also ALSO dbk's opening has such memorable violins i had to say something. its so catchy)
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Meet again
(Gally x reader)
NOTES | so i don't usually write x readers as most of you or at least my moots and followers will know, but i've been curious to give it a try, and who better to start with than our precious gally? i wrote this mostly out of artistic curiosity, but i mean elena liked it, and i count that as a success <3 also thanks for beta-ing elena! @gladerscake
WORD COUNT | 2100 words which i think is longer than normal but whatevs
TAGS | modern day AU which i'm told is not normal for tmr x readers but here we go asldkfj, one-shot, park ranger gally, forests, pine trees, it just feels like the glade ygm, first kiss, anticipation, meet again, reunion, gally's strong arms how could i not okayyy
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Gally and you are going to meet again, in just a few hours. You still can’t believe your luck, and some part of you still cannot believe that it is real. That you’re really going to see him again. To have him again.
Of course that’s what both of you had hoped for, that you’d find a way to make it work, find a way so you two could live together – could live in the same country at least.
When you met him in the US, and you there on vacation with your family, your attraction had been instant. Gally had immediately caught your eye, arms strong and with that breath-stopping captivating aura he emanated as you watched him go about his work as a park ranger.
Your family had decided to spend some days camping at that national park - “That breath of nature is gonna be good for you,” - your dad had said, in response to which you’d only rolled your eyes.
But in the end, you had been more than glad about it.
Because it was there that you met Gally.
The first few days, Gally and you hadn’t even spoken to each other at all – you’d just caught his glance a few times, and had immediately noticed the blood rushing to your cheeks, and you’d averted your gaze quickly, lest he’d catch on to it. But then one day, on bonfire night, the two of you had started talking.
You don’t even quite remember how when you think about it now, but what you do remember is how you’d suddenly found yourself gushing to Gally about books and movies you liked, completely losing yourself in details and fervent analyses that had been burning on your tongue for eternity – and Gally just smiled at you, listened intently, sometimes asking clarifying questions, but all the while hanging on your lips as though he’d never heard anyone say things quite as interesting as these. You’d found yourself stunned, expecting him to get annoyed or bored at any second – but he never did.
Gally made you feel seen in a way you’d never quite experienced before. And the feeling was mutual – when he talked about the forest, the animals living at the national park and the measures they were taking as rangers to ensure a sound ecological balance for all living things there, you just couldn’t help but hang on his every word. You marvelled at his knowledge, but most of all at the care he showed for the animals and plants around him.
You’d never met anyone before who seemed quite as… pure as Gally?
He didn’t seem to care much about money or status, instead he seemed to be concerned with leading a simple, yet worthwhile life. And somehow, his take on it all made you feel a slow and silent peace within you. Like the world could be an okay place – if you could only stay at his side.
You’d stayed at the park with him that summer, leaving your parents to travel the rest of the United States by themselves. You had told them something about wanting to learn more about the ecology of these forests, fabricated something about wanting to pursue this direction further in your studies and wanting to get a feel for it now, and how this summer internship at the park was the perfect opportunity for you to do that.
They’d let you do it – although you were sure you saw a sly smile on your mother’s face as she kissed you goodbye. You didn’t react to it – although she might have detected a hint of embarrassment in your face, however much you’d tried to conceal it. But it didn’t matter – nothing really mattered except that you could spend more time with Gally.
The two of you became inseparable, and with time, a deep and easy peace filled the time you spent together.
And then was that first kiss – you remember it as though it was yesterday.
The smell of the pine tree needles in your nose, the dinner you’d just finished filling your stomach with a warm and happy feeling – although that feeling might have stemmed from the fact that Gally had been looking at you with a… strange look in his eyes that whole evening.
You couldn’t quite tell what it was. There was something in his eyes that you felt you had seen before, but you couldn’t quite place it.
The tree trunk you were standing against was scratchy at your back as standing there, leaning against the pine tree and looking out over the valley stretching beyond you. The rough smell of the smoke from the fire burning at the camping place below filled your nose, and you could still feel the warm glow the fire had left on your cheeks.
Gally was sitting on a log a little way off, and there was nothing big to be said, just the two of you watching the sunset, the rewarding calmness of a day of heavy work lying between you. You talked a bit about the ongoings in the park, about what you’d do the next day, but of nothing much really.
Suddenly, you noticed that Gally had gone silent. You looked over at him to check if everything was alright, but you gave a little startled jump when you noticed he’d gotten up and was standing closer to you now.
“What’s.. Uhm, what’s up Gally?” You asked, hearing how your voice sounded a little insecure.
Gally looked at his hands, as if trying to find courage, as if trying to find words for what he wanted to say.
You felt a little afraid – was there something you had done wrong in your work, and he needed to tell you off for it, but was uncomfortable doing it? Or had you said something wrong, a joke that had inadvertently hurt him? You just set out to ask, when Gally found his voice.
“I...” he hesitated. “I’m sorry if this is inappropriate. And.. I really don’t want you to feel pressured. Like, at all.”
He empathised those last words, but you could only look at him in confusion. What was he getting at? Gally saw the confused look on your face, and gave you a helpless look. You didn’t understand, what was he trying to say?
“I…”, again, Gally broke off. He was kneading his hands against each other and looking down at them, something you had often seen him do when he was trying to find the right words for something, trying to line up his thoughts in the order he wanted to present them in. You waited.
Finally, he looked up again, a firm look in his eyes, as if he’d decided he just needed to get it over with.
“I like you.” He said. “I really, really like you. And I wanted to ask… I wanted to ask whether I could kiss you.”
You felt yourself speechless, completely at a loss for what to say.
His gaze was turned back down at his hands, but he looked back at you when he said: “I’ve been wanting to ask you this for quite some time, actually.” To your astonishment, you could see his cheeks had a faint pink tinge to them by now.
You felt your gaze go soft, and resisted the urge to clasp your hands to your face to stop the giddy smile you could feel rising up on your face from showing. Instead, you let that smile spread, and you remember thinking that you must have looked like a total idiot, beaming at Gally sheepishly like that.
A tentative smile started spreading on Gally’s face as he saw what was happening with you.
“I –“ you stopped to cough. “Uhm yes, actually.. I’d like that very much.”
You gave an awkward little chuckle, but Gally lips spread into a smile that beamed at you so fondly you again felt the urge to hide your face behind your hands. You couldn’t quite believe he’d look at you like that.
But Gally’s smile was here to stay, and it transformed into something softer as he stepped closer to you.
You could feel yourself getting nervous, but when you felt Gally’s body heat radiate from him, and his calloused and strong hands take yours into his, somehow, a feeling of utter calm settled over you.
And then Gally’s lips had brushed against yours, and you’d felt your heart stop for a second with the unbelievable feel of it. You hadn’t even realised how badly you wanted Gally. – But now, all the looks you’d thrown him over the course of the last weeks, how you always felt so calm around him, the funny feeling you had gotten in your stomach when watching his muscular shoulders strain while cutting trees and doing woodwork, the way you’d felt your gaze shift to his hands more often than probably was normal – now it all made sense.
You weren’t sure what to do, but Gally put a hand behind your back, steadying you while the other one held the crook of your neck, his warm hand soft against your skin. And you found yourself giving into Gally, a smile making its way onto your lips even as you were kissing him. You felt his lips twist into that same smile, and then you felt the vibrations of Gally laughing softly against you in his body that was now so close to you.
You let that smile stay on your lips, delirious with the feel of it all. Gally placed a small kiss on your cheek, then one on the other cheek, then one on your forehead, your nose, and then countless other small kisses on your face, and you couldn’t help but giggle at it, which in turn made Gally smile again.
“I’ve been wanting to do that for forever, you know,” he said.
“No, I actually didn’t,” you said, hearing very well how breathless your own voice sounded. You really wished he would kiss you again - and he did.
When he drew back after a long while and let his forehead rest against yours, you realised that you had never felt that safe in your life.
“Flight from Denver boarding at Gate 10” – The loud airport announcement voiced by that generic female voice that was the same everywhere in the world roused you from the memories you’d gotten consumed in.
You felt your heart rate pick up again, and your head get a little dizzy. You orientated yourself, and then rushed towards the gate where Gally was supposed to arrive.
When you arrived there you were a little breathless because you’d rushed so much - but you just couldn’t wait to see Gally’s soft smile again, to feel his arms around you again. Of course you were there far too early now, and the moments seemed to spread out forever, time barely moving even though you were willing it to go faster so badly.
But then, people started trickling out of the sliding doors, business women, families laughing, wheels of trolley cases rattling over the floor, big bags thrown over shoulders – and then, your heart stuttered in your chest when your eyes registered a familiar shape among all the strangers.
A yell escaped your lips without your doing, and without planning to, you were rushing forward, tears streaming over your face – and then big, warm arms caught you. They wrapped around you, held you tight and you could feel the sobs ripping through you, and hear the small nonsensical words that were washing over you in a constant, soft stream of affection. Big hands were stroking over your back, and your nose was filled with that gorgeous scent that made you feel at home immediately – that made you feel as though everything in the world was going to be alright.
You nuzzled into that broad chest you had missed so much, and then Gally gently pried your arms from around his body and removed you from him at arm’s length so he could have a look at you.
The smile on your face was teary, but the look in Gally’s eyes made you forget all of your tears and sorrows. He cupped your face in his hands, and you could feel his rough and calloused fingers stroking over your cheeks, gently trailing away the wetness of your previous tears.
“It’s all good now, honey,” Gally said, his deep voice washing over you like rain after a drought.
And as you smiled back at him, you knew that he was telling the truth.
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thrillridesz · 3 years
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hey i saw your post abt your recent fic and i know how you feel. i recently started posting a new series that i was so excited to share but no one even seems to care too much about it bc it hardly gets any notes or interaction. even if it's tumblr's fault with the tags and everything, i know how disappointing and awful it feels. i know it's so much easier said than done, but know that your creations are amazing and precious. you put so much time and effort and creativity into your stories, believe me, i know what the writing process is like. it sucks to not get much feedback or interaction, and not letting it get to you is difficult. i guess what i'm trying to say is that your work is so much more than numbers and you deserve more recognition. i hope you're doing well, remember that you're talented and precious and wonderful ! 💗💗💗
i've been logged out for almost the entire day today because I kind of grew tired of hoping for notes but then this message really cheered me up a lot.
thank you so so so much for reaching out to me like this and I didn't know how much I needed to read this before I actually did. The feeling really does suck a lot, it's like you pour so much of your time and effort and you feel so proud of this thing you're gonna showcase only to have little to no feedback or even any form of reaction towards it. tumblr's tags are definitely to blame but sometimes it's mostly silent reading. I hope things get better or this community is going to collapse on itself sooner or later. some of my mutuals (not all but a good number) from last year have gone inactive due to lack of interaction and it’s tough seeing them leave. 
also please, if you will, please dm me or drop your series because i'd love to read it. i'm all for supporting other writers! i'd also love to be friends if we aren't already.
thank you once again for your very kind words. i appreciate them a lot and i hope you know as well that you are much more than the notes on your work and your work should be valued, treasured and appreciated. I, as a writer, recognise and see your efforts and I really want to support you. I hope you are doing okay as well and sending LOTS OF LOVE! ❤️❤️❤️
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between-two-fandoms · 3 years
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Who We Used To Be (Ray/Rose/Trevor)
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As told by myself and @thesevenumbrellas tag teaming the whump in the 18+ JatP discord. Sev I swear we operate on the same braincell levels, we do be clowning. @bobbywilsonsupremacy  let us know what you think of this! I know you and I both hardcore ship Raybse.
Cover was created by @thesevenumbrellas​. Please don’t steal it.
This post got long so fair warning.
We wrote this in a discord server over the time span of hours so there’s some mistakes but i’m too lazy to go back and fix it all. Basically we tag teamed on a Raybse Trevor Wilson-centric whump story and can destroy a fandom with a single touch.
You’ll understand once you click the cut.
Don’t Steal Our Writing (but please reblog this to spread it around).
Trauma Time.
major whump warning
(Ren) Okay so if we're gonna be starting at 90's ot3 my children ray/bobby/Rose know that Ray is a panic bi and loves both of these humans very much with his whole ass heart.
(Ren) He takes pictures of his girlfriend and boyfriend while they’re on dates because he wants to capture the moments he was happy the most. Bobby always shed away from the camera burying his face in Rose's shoulder or leaning in for a kiss. Anyways as time goes by Ray notices Bobby's change in behavior. From being his go-happy-trauma boyf to being caught up in the music scene, often out at all hours to parties and label meetings only to come to to sleep on the couch, not even sharing the bed like he used to. It reminds Ray of the time when Bobby was grieving his boys. Ray hates it, but he loves bobby so he pushes his feelings aside to try and arrange more dates for the three of them to go on together.
(Sev) Ray waking up to only Rose in the bed and not Bobby, and it feels too cold in bed without him. So he'll try to call him, because it's 3am and he's supposed to be home and he's not. And Ray remembers what happened to Bobby's bandmates, and he can't admit it out loud but he's worried. Because what if that happens to Bobby? He knows it was a freak accident! What are the odds of it happening again?? But he can't shake that feeling when Bobby doesn't come home at night and Ray stays up all night worrying. Anyway he tries to call Bobby and Bobby doesn't answer. He'll leave loads of voicemails, trying not to be pushy because he knows Bobby doesn't respond well to that. But he's worried. He'll say "hey please call me when you get this." and then ten minutes later try again "hey just text me that you're safe okay?" He can't sleep because Bobby still isn't home. It's 5am. He has to go to work in two hours. Rose keeps telling him to go to bed but he can't.[2:58 PM]Bobby finally texts back. "I'm okay! Was playing with some friends, the gig went over time and then we went to  party." Ray wants to be angry because seriously? No phone calls because he was at a party? But he knows that'll just push Bobby away more!
(Ren) And so Ray has all of these festering emotions that boil down to worry and concern at the core but he's just so scared hes losing Bobby cause he never really had his own family to begin with and then one day when Ray comes home early from a photoshoot he can hear Bobby and Rose fighting over Bobby signing the contract that says he wrote Luke's songs but Ray just hears yelling before he even opens the door with his name thrown into the mix and then he gets even more scared because what if he loses Rose and Bobby? if he lost both of them he'd be destroyed. So he doesnt knock. He doesnt go home. Instead he walks around the city until he was supposed to go home originally and he opens the door and there's a sort of eerie silence in the air.
(Sev) Trevor’s unable to shake the feeling that something terrible will happen to Rose and Ray because he's with them. His entire family were killed in 1 night because he wasn't there with them. So at first he's clingy as fuck to Rose and Ray because what if something bad happens when he's not there? What if what if what if... But as time goes on the thinking flips. Maybe it's the music industry that's the problem. It's these weird connections in his head of if he's too successful, bad things might happen. But he can't quit music like that, he can't give up on Luke's dream. He owes his boys to become successful. So instead he distances himself from Rose and Ray. That way they won't be caught up in whatever bad thing is going to happen to him. He distances himself and he waits for it all to drop. He waits for the universe to punish him again.
(Ren) And the universe punishes Bobby when the tension between him and Rose tightens so much he knows there's no going back from it but he's not admitting to stealing the songs because he didn't. He helped Luke write all of the songs more than Alex and Reggie ever did, staying up late with Luke after fights with his mom and Bobby didn’t want Luke to be alone so yeah, he wrote the songs. Maybe not as much as he claimed but he sure as hell made sure his brother wasn’t alone so that counted for something right? And it did. Until Rose kicks him out of bed because she's pissed he'd even consider stealing music and he cant tell Ray because of the NDA the label got him to sign at a party when he was drunk and the only reason Rose knows about it is because she was there when he signed the damn thing and so Bobby pulls away from Ray because isnt it going to be easier in the long run? If he doesn’t attach himself to Ray who'll just get angry at him like Rose did?
(Sev) It's the guilt that grows inside of him every passing day. They're my songs too he tells himself over and over again. But during the dark nights, three glasses of whisky in when the world is getting hazy... even he can't believe the lies he tells himself. He fucked up Sunset Curve. He fucked up his friends' memories. And now he fucked up the only good thing he'd ever had. Ray texts him nonstop. He doesn't understand why Rose kicked Bobby out and he doesn't understand why Bobby listened. Bobby can't take Ray away from Rose. He's fucked up and a terrible person, but even he can't do that. He doesn't give Ray his new address. He refuses to meet up even for Ray to give him his stuff back. All Bobby can do is hold onto Ray's sweatshirt he stole away and a bottle of perfume the same brand Rose always wears. He cradles these things in his arms and cries.
(Ren) And that's the last he sees of Ray for all of 5 years, 20yr old puppy-dog eyed loving precious ray who Bobby would run to the second Rose says its okay. But rose never does. And then Bobby meets a cute blonde and six months later the barista shows up on his doorstep shoving Carrie into his arms calling her a bastard child. Carrie is not a bastard child Carrie is his and he loves her the second he sets eyes on her and so Bobby turns into Trevor when the new year rolls around and he starts his own album. It doesn’t do as well as Luke's his first album did but it was his. And then one day Trevor signs Carrie up for dance because Trisha from first grade made fun of her for not being able to do the splits and on the way out of the dance studio Trevor bumps into Ray, a terrified looking girl clutched to his leg. Carrie doesn't miss a beat. "Hi! I'm Carrie let's be friends!" and Carrie drags Ray's daughter off and Trevor shifts awkwardly and is suddenly 17 again but Ray's eyes still twinkle like the did when they were kids and he's still wearing eyeliner so Trevor almost missed it when a flicker of recognition crosses Ray’s face and a smile quirks at the corners of his lips and he says, "hi im Ray, thats my daughter Julie. Wanna go out for a drink?" With that same mischievous glint in his eye that made Bobby fall in love with him in the first place.
(Sev) Trevor almost stops breathing. He should say no. He knows he should say no. He's an awful person. He doesn't deserve someone like Ray. He never deserved either of them. He knows that. But can't force himself to say no. Maybe it's the twinkle in Ray's eyes. Maybe it's the soul crushing loneliness he's felt ever since he left them. Or maybe it's the way Carrie and Julie are giggling in the corner like they've known each other all their lives. He says yes. The drink ends up at a family friendly restaurant with both the girls in tow.
(Ren) Rose shows up because Ray the asshole apparently texted her while he was in the car saying he met one of Julie's friend's parents and wanted to go out on a date (keeping things pg ofc) aklsdf. And when Rose does show up Trevor sees how... sick she looks. How much paler she looked than she did all those years ago how - he still knew he loved her even if she still decided she hated him.
(Sev) The mood drops quickly. Trevor wants to ask about Rose, but not in front of the kids. Ray wants to ask about their past, but not in front of the kids. Rose... Rose who holds all the answers... doesn't know where to start first. She had never regretted not telling Ray the truth. She never wanted to change Ray's perception of Bobby like that. Ray who looked at their boyfriend as if he'd hung the moon. Ray who stayed up worrying all night until Bobby came home. Ray who held Bobby through countless nightmares... But that makes the truth staring them in the face so much harder. Because she never gave Ray the choice. She realized that a few years too late after she catches Ray staring at old pictures of Bobby in their photo albums. She'd made the choice for him. And then there's Trevor... still beautiful, staring at her with so much concern her heart breaks all over again.
(Ren) The tension doesn't fly over Carrie's head like he hoped it would, she talks to Julie about My Little Pony and Pokemon and High School Musical and their mutual hatred for Trisha from school but Carrie's hand never lets go of his and he finally plucks up the courage and stretches his arm out and says "we're vegetarian for the most part, hope that's okay." And a smile quirks at the corner of her lips and she asks "for the most part?" and Trevor nods and Carrie pipes up from her seat saying "daddy hates hot dogs,” in that blatant fact kind of way kids say things without realizing how problematic it could be. It wasn’t her fault though, Trevor has yet to tell her about her uncles, about how he was in a band, about how they were going to be legends.
(Sev) Rose and Ray both freeze at Carrie's voice. He doesn't know if the girls notice, because he's too busy trying to fight back the panic in his throat. It's been a long time since anyone had brought up ... what happened. It's easy to pretend it didn't happen when his name is Trevor and no one knows him. But these two people know him. They know him more than anyone else ever has. Even the boys. The truth hits him hard at that moment. A truth he'd been avoiding for almost two decades. Ray and Rose know him better than even he knew himself. Maybe that was why Rose had been so furious with him, or why Ray continued to chase after him even months after he moved out. Trevor hides the building panic and sudden realization with a smile. "What an I say," he said as causally as he can. "I'm a picky eater." A few hours later they end up back at the Molina's house. Bobby has no idea how it happened. -No, Trevor has no idea how it happened, he scolds himself. He's Trevor. He has to be Trevor. Trevor got him this far, Trevor made the difficult choices. Bobby was the one who got his friends kill and destroyed the best relationship he ever had. Still, it becomes harder and harder to remind himself of that. To stop himself from slipping into the comfortable shoes of Bobby, boyfriend of Ray and Rose as if the past 17 years had never happened. He finds himself on their sofa, a sofa that brings back memories both good and bad... he finds himself in a familiar home, his old studio just a short walk away, his ex's giggling in the kitchen as they make his coffee the way he's always liked it without asking for a reminder.
(Ren) Trevor can remember the day he stopped drinking the coffee Ray made for him, the morning after his first fight with Rose, when he wakes up cold because Rose basically cocooned herself around Ray's body, keeping her back turned to him and as much as he wanted to reach out to Ray, to hug him and comfort him and tell him it was all going to be okay... everything was too stuffy and too tense and deciding he just had to leave because he was going to suffocate otherwise.
(Sev) He should leave, just like last time. What was he even doing here? He should take Carrie and- Then Ray's in front of him, pushing a hot cup into is hands. "The girls are playing upstairs," he says. His voice is so calm, so understanding. "We don't have to talk if you don't want to." Trevor almost laughs. Because that's so like Ray. Almost a decade without answers and he's giving Trevor the option to ignore it all. To pretend like nothing ever happened. But he can't be that selfish again. So he shakes his head. "I'd... like to talk to you... to both of you."
(Ren) And then suddenly rose is eyeing him sus but he's been putting this off for to long and honestly fuck his label because they screwed him over one too many times for him to still even consider their relationship anything other than employee-client1[4:06 PM]and so Trevor takes a sip of Ray's coffee holy shit how did go so long without it?! and he explains it. he explains everything.
(Sev) Ray doesn't speak as Trevor explains. He never interrupts or even look surprised. His face is completely unreadable. He doesn't move until Trevor's done. And then once he is, he only stands up to start pacing the room. Trevor's oddly reminded of Alex as he does so,  and the memory is enough to make him flinch. "This... this is what you two have been hiding from me for so long?" he asked, voice brittle. "This is... this is what cost us... I mean..." But he can't finish. Ray just shakes his head, back to both Rose and Trevor.
(Ren) Suddenly he's seventeen again. Seventeen and a mess in Ray's arms burying his face into the man's chest finally feeling the weight of the world lift off of his shoulders and suddenly Rose is hugging him from behind, her too-skiny bone arms snaking around his chest and hugging him tightly threatening to never let him go saying "amour," and pressing a kiss to the back of his head, "amour we never stopped loving you."
(Sev)It's like no time has passed by the time he's done crying his eyes out. They're all huddled on a sofa that was always too small for three. Trevor's in the middle, clutching at them both as if they're going to disappear on him. Ray sits with his legs underneath them, his arms pulling the both of them into his chest. And then there's Rose, suddenly so much more delicate than Trevor remembers. She sits half on his lap, curled into them, her fingers knotted in his hair. "I can't believe you two kept this from me," Ray whispers. There's no anger. He doesn't think Ray's ever been capable of being angry. "I'm sorry," Trevor whispers, throat raw from tears. Ray answers with a firm kiss to his temple. "We wasted so much time..."
(Ren) Trevor just lays between them in their bed, nothing sexual and nothing tense it’s just them being together and Rose playing with his now-long hair, braiding it right down the middle despite it being too long for others to braid. Her fingers feel nice as they tug at his roots, familiar and a sense of calm washes over him. He lets ray fop on top of him like they used to, burying his head in his chest just listening to his heart beat, his steady constant breathing because Ray used to be afraid one day he'd wake up and Bobby would be dead too. Rose humming lightly, soft lullabies that chased away dark thoughts and Trevor just finds it so comforting, a feeling of home he hasn't had since the day he left and so he wraps his arms around Rose and Ray tight, promising himself he won't screw up his second time around.
(Sev) It's a few hours later when he speaks again. The girls are asleep in Julie's room (delighted at their surprise sleepover.) Ray's almost nodded off, head resting against Trevor's chest. But Rose is wide awake. She's laid out, tangled between them, eyes focused on something far away. He can see it more clearly now. The tremble in her hands, the way she's so still, the circles around her eyes. He takes her hand in his. "What is it?"
(Ren) And Trevor wants it to be a prank, he wants the sinking feeling in his gut twisting around his heart, the same feeling he had the morning of Sunset Curve's Orpheum performance coiling up his spine to go away. He wants everything to be okay, that he told the truth, that he was forgiven, that the universe was finally on his side for once but of course it's not because when has it ever been.  Rose's fingers run lightly over his knuckles and Ray wraps his arm around him from behind, his hands resting against Trevor's chest, something solid for him to focus on and as a tear starts to roll down Rose's cheek he reaches up to brush it away, running his hand through her hair only to pull out a clump as he pulled away but he couldn't run when his instincts to run kick in like they always used to do when situations turned emotional, bury it in his mind and lock up his worries like he always did but this wasn't going to be something he could run from.
(Sev) Life is not the fantasy or a fairy tale. There are no happy endings, only happy moments. He'd like to say they picked up right where they left off, Rose lived until a ripe old age, and they never fought again. But he'd be lying. It was hard to fold their lives back into place again, especially with Carrie and Julie. To just pick up after their seventeen year old selves was an impossible dream. But they could do breakfast. And breakfast became dinner. Dinner became one date which became two which became many. It took trouble and care, but they slotted themselves back into each other's lives again. There were lunch dates, and movie nights. There were late night wine dates and early morning coffee dates. They found their happy moments. A decade of separation had smoothed out the rough edges. If Trevor stormed out after a harsh argument, he'd return the next day with flowers and apologies. If Rose snapped and lost her temper, she'd take herself off for a walk to cool down. If Ray was bothered by something, he'd speak up instead of pushing it all down. They found their happy moments. And when 1 month became 1 year, they celebrated with moving boxes and a new, bigger couch. When 1 year became 2, they celebrated with promise rings and whispers of a better future between light kisses. 3 years became 4, became 5, and so on... They found their happy moments. But life is not a fantasy or a fairy tale. Their story ends in a hospital. Rose dies with both her husbands at her side, with both her daughters and son clutching on her hands. She dies with a smile on her face, knowing she is not leaving them to suffer alone. Ray and Trevor grieve together.
(Ren) And this time the girls are the ones who get into the fight but Trevor and Ray are there for Julie and Carrie no matter what they're fighting over carrie told julie she liked flynn but julie said flynn was hers first and doesnt understand how she can feel squishy love for two people. And this time the girls are the ones who get into the fight but Trevor and Ray are there for Julie and Carrie no matter what they're fighting over carrie told julie she liked flynn but julie said flynn was hers first and doesnt understand how she can feel squishy love for two people. They stick to their daughters through the worst of it but they don’t let the girl’s fighting rip into them too. It’s not what Rose would’ve wanted for them, it’s not what she would’ve wanted for Julie or Carrie either.
(Sev) And when Julie plays with her ghost band, it's much earlier that Trevor recognizes who she's playing with.
(Ren) Luke’s mad at first, ofc he is but after everything is explained and out in the open Trevor finds himself at home in a building that never felt like home despite the fact he grew up in it.
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