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izzysdiary003 · 6 months

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Drove really well to tesco today! Proud that i can drive after a 9 week break from it. Headache all the time (even iller now i’ve stopped doing stuff and am home?). L still thinks liking dan and phil is embarassing and posted about it. I think that is more embarassing for her. I feel bad for people who are too worried about what’s cringe to enjoy themselves. With exceptions (kkg) i am so reluctant to shit on stuff which used to make me so excited…. I love the past me that loved stuff like mcr so much. Passion is one of the greatest things a person can have.

However i am still desperate to be as cool/interesting/perceived as her. Obsession and jealousy lingers. She posts about her notes app, i look through my own to see what is post-worthy. I feel the need to read and do cool stuff solely when i see others do it. This is bad!

I cannot let the rot set in this holiday! I am gna read and sleep early tn, get up earlier tomorrow and do things. Start couch to 5k, eat nice food, start my greek and latin. I could even find a new spot to do it.

I should really get in touch with people too. People are all we’ve got.

I love that i’m rewatching the hunger games with my family. Catching fire last night. This resurgence is the best thing to happen this year in pop culture…

I love those corecore videos where someone smashes a plate and then there are these vague liminal videos that reaffirm life as interesting and emotional and fast paced. I think right now is a very limited way to live - at home in a small town, dark at 4pm, tired and ill. I need a richer internal world for sure or i’ll get devastatingly bored not running through fields or living under city lights.

I got a video talking about the bad side effects of anorexia today. Hair loss. Always cold. Loss of bowel control. How awful that all is. Yes i want to be a little skinnier but do i really? Its so not something i can let myself romanticise. I see girls w a little meat on their bones and i think they’re so gorgeous. That could be me.

I really need to learn to eat healthy ish and exercise but not be consumed with guilt. I definitely gain a feeling of control from calorie checking stuff. This is okay for now but could be bad. Let’s work on it! If i gained weight, would that really be so terrible? Would people value me less? I fucking hope not and i know they wouldn’t. I want to be strong.

I dont know why i care about L so much in the way that i measure up my life to hers to assume my successes and failures. Who fucking cares if she is skinnier than me. It’s not a competition! Imagine if she knew that i even thought about that…

My friends tell me that i am funny and interesting. It’s true. I need to get that into my head and work on my self confidence so severely. Low self esteem is legit at the core of every problem i have.

Not liking yourself is stressful (what did i say? Did i embarrass myself? I’ve made them hate me forever!). It’s lonely. It’s time-consuming (what do i eat next? And next? And next?). It makes you a narcissist!

I also need to stop watching porn. Bad habit which will only get worse! It’s when i admit these things that i realise this diary must be just for me. I feel like im writing with an audience in mind until i say unglamorous stuff like this. But u do what u gotta do for the God of Self-Improvement.

I’ll say this to myself. I love you! You have got this! You are worthy! You are trying!

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dumbbitchfrommars · 1 year

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Hellloooooo. I cannot be bothered sitting up to write in my journal, so here I am. I have a big few days ahead of me. Lots of work. I have a day off on the first hot day in a while so of course I’ll seize the opportunity to go for a swim in the ocean. The only problem… I also wanna get laid. And he wants me to come over but I am torn if I should make the drive. I mean it’s kind of fate that he lives by the beach. It’s what, an extra 20 min drive? Whatever! You’re laughing. I love that phrase. Anyway. The name Ashley on a man is new. And he’s a short king like D’Arcy. And he’s TATTED!!! And he’s so, so, so hot. I would be stupid to not do it. Plus he’s in his late twenties so I can only hope and pray he’s got some idea of how to work a woman. Anyway. I’m doing back to back long shifts and then I’m at the bar until 2am. I’m gna be fucked. And then work again 12 hours later if I can manage to get to sleep for 9-10 hours. Tbh I still think it’s doable. Last time it was pretty tiring doing the 12-6 and 9-1:30. This is that but extended. Like +4.5 hours. Oh boy. God willing! I have full confidence in myself. Tonight was my first night swimming in yonks. Oh my god it was wonderful. I had so much fun and I pushed myself. Im actually getting better. And I actually did well despite all the time off. My body thrives in the water. I absolutely love it. I ADORE IT! Thank you god for this magical beautiful and nostalgic connection to little Me. To catching the bus home freezing cold with mama and my sister. To getting a cheeky lolly or chocolate milk from the deli next door before going home. To the pretty, colourful, frilly, beautiful swimsuits from back home that made everything all the more fun. To diving into the pool with the help of my instructor. Just an oblivious happy little girl. Now she’s grown up and she’s chasing every dream she could have imagined. I’m so proud of myself. And I’m proud of my decision to make art today, when I was really struggling. I was so overwhelmed with pain, hurt, anger, stress and sadness today. I couldn’t shake the feelings from work. It’s teaching me where I need to put up better boundaries, to protect my spirit while I’m surrounded by the spirits of that place. 🤯 perhaps that was why I kept seeing 888 around. It’s an important lesson the universe needed me to see. Not to mention the spider and dragonfly earlier today! Oh my god! That was a big one. I was a bit too distraught to fully appreciate it. Nah, I definitely appreciated it. But I don’t know if I understand it. Transformation, feminine energy, or perhaps it was C saying hello? Anyway. God, please continue to send me strength and protection. I’m so excited for the remainder of this month and year, and for what’s to come in 2023. I appreciate and am thankful for all the messages and lessons you’ve given me. And I am grateful for the same that you project into my subconscious and dreams. It all has meaning. I can’t stop thinking about that man and his dog in Melbourne. I might have been the only person to witness such a beautiful, wholesome, innocent, loving moment. Just a man and his dog. Pulling off the tufts of undercoat his sweet unsuspecting husky was shedding. And all the pieces he’d picked away, floating along in the wind down the dimly lit alley. Just… perfect. I’m so lucky, to witness such a perfect and innocent moment. For some reason I think I’ll never forget it. Core memory. ❤️ anyway that’s enough of me. I’m ready and open for what comes next. Sweet dreams, my beautiful sweet lovely girl!! My wife! My mother! My daughter! My gorgeous goddess queen!

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judeswhore · 2 years

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Hi! I missed seeing you my dash, I hope you had the best time 🫶🏼💗

hi!!! i did thank u <3 i’m gna sleep for a week now im so tired i hope ur doing okay🫶🏻🫶🏻

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wxlfstxrx · 4 years

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sleep now (8pm), or at a slightly more normal timing (11pm)?

#so fucking tired #jeez #but if i sleep now i’m gna wake up at 3 and fuck up my sleep cycle even more

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steelycunt · 2 years

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hiii there!! supremely jealous of u sitting on the grass at the park meanwhile i’ve still got class to get to… but! for the ask game 7 + 21 + 32 and 35 too pretty please!! xox

hiii you <33 i hope you are having a good class its so fucked up that my mutuals have to go to classes if i was there that would never happen <33

7. What story/headcanons do you feel the proudest of?

premise wise, of witness testimony is probably still the story im proudest of? looking back i could do a much better job on the technical side of writing it, but i still think it’s my most interesting fic!!

21. Is there an idea you’ve always wanted to write, but haven’t yet?

i reallyy want to do something with a more rural setting <3 have done london twice now im itching to put them in the welsh countryside or smthn n really set welsh remus lupin free in his natural habitat <33

32. What story do you think showcases your signature style the most?

ah now this was a tossup between aofgwm and ilob BUT I’m gna say in lieu of beaujolais for the mundanity and the domesticity!! that’s what i love to do them sitting in their shitty green bathroom while The Beach Boys played was the most Me my writing has ever been I think <3

35. Where’s your favorite place to write?

Sooo boring but my living room, on the sofa :/ if I’m in bed I’ll get too tired n I WILL go to sleep around the 200 word mark! We’d never get anything done!

fanfic ask game

#liv tag #ask game #welsh Remus in the countryside loml!!! I WILL write him <3

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samcrobae · 4 years

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Off Limits, 4

Gif Credit: @pantherclawz

******************************

EZ stepped inside the clubhouse and all eyes were on him. “Rise and shine, kid thanks for joining us. You’re late. The hell you been?” Bishop asked as he sat at one of the tables.

“Sorry Bish, I got tied up with my old man, I was helping him bring some shelves into the shop.” EZ had to think quickly on his feet as all eyes were still on him, “it won’t happen again”.

Bishop and Taza got up and went outside leaving EZ, Coco, Gilly, and Angel inside. Angel delivered a smack to the back of EZ’s head. “Are you fuckin dumb? I told you not to even think about it. That shits over EZ.”

Coco and Gilly exchanged confused glances, “What are we ending?” Gilly asked.

“Oh this morning I went on a hunt to find my baby brother here,” Angel hooks his arm around EZs shoulders, “and this asshole was just leaving Y/N’s apartment bright and early, after having a nice lil shower there, after spending his whole weekend there...” Gilly let out a low whistle and looked down. Coco laughed, “damn Boy Scout I didn’t think you’d have the balls to actually do it! Sucks Bishop will kill you when he finds out.”

“He ain’t gonna find out because he is gonna end this shit.”

“Who’s not gonna find out about what?” You ask as you come up to the men, setting your bag down on the table. “Jesus Christ, there you go. you see? End it. This shit you got going on with him is going to get him killed.” Angel spat as he walked away. Coco and Gilly followed after him, a smirk on Coco’s face.

“We could just come out with it and not care..” you suggested.

“Are you crazy?! Bishop made it clear alright, you were supposed to be off limits to all of us.”

“EZ it’s not like we are running off getting married, I’m gonna be here all summer...can’t we just keep it lowkey? Keep having fun...” you reach over and grab his hand in yours and he clenches his jaw. You lean up and kiss his lips, his jawline, and his neck. “I mean, what do you want, Ezekiel? Is that what you want? Do you really wanna stop fucking me?” Your voice against his neck sends a quick shiver down his spine and he could his jeans grow tighter as he is now hard.

“You’re fucking killing me Y/N...go home. I shouldn’t have let it get that far, We can’t keep doing this...” he takes a step back and gives you a final look before heading to the back.

____________________________

Later that night you sat wide awake in bed, unable to sleep becuase no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t get him out of your mind. You didn’t want to settle down, be in a relationship, but being his friend and getting to sleep with him wouldn’t hurt nobody right? You felt an ache between your legs and you reached over to your night stand and grabbed your phone.

You kneeled on the bed and slightly lifted your shirt to expose some of the skin of your tummy, wearing a pair of black lace panties and snapped a picture and typed up a message before hitting send. “I really wish you were here to take these off.. 😘” you then lay on your back and get a video of you sliding your fingers into your panties, drawing slow circles over your center, then slipping your panties to the side and exposing yourself to the camera. “I need you EZ..”. Sent.

EZ was with Coco and Angel when his phone lit up, your name displaying on screen. Angel notices and watches as EZ opens his phone and quickly lowers it to cover whatever he’s looking at. EZ licks his lips and then puts his phone back in his pocket, a smirk on his face and then chugged the rest of his beer. “Don’t do it asshole. Don’t go see her.” Angel says. Coco looks over at Angel. “See who? Y/N?”

EZ gets up from his chair and throws his kutte on. “I gotta go, I’ll see you guys later”.

You waited 20 minutes and No reply. You let out a deep sigh and then reached over and turned off your light when you heard 3 knocks at your door. You slowly make your way to the living room and look through your peephole, surprised to EZ there. Unlocking your door, you open it and stare at him, a knowing grin across your lips. He quickly moves inside and slams the door shut behind him.

————————————————

The next few weeks went the same. He’d work his shift at the clubhouse, you’d work your shifts at the local hospital and spend your days off at the clubhouse. At this point, EZ practically spent all of his free time at your place. Always being very careful to make sure he wasn’t followed. Angel, Coco, and Gilly were privy to the fact that you and EZ had become some sort of “thing” but really didn’t know what to make of it. Hell, you didn’t even know what to make of it.

Pulling into the parking lot of the mall, where you and EZ spent most of the time eating when you’d grab something to eat, you dig through the bag and hand him his burger and fries. “EZ I’m so tired of sneaking around it’s kinda exhausting. We aren’t dating right ? So I mean who cares if someone sees us out in an actual restaurant eating at An actual table? Technically we aren’t doing anything wrong right?” You shove a couple fries into your mouth.

“That’s not the point Y/N.. if the wrong person sees us out, and it gets back to Bishop...”

“Okay fine, can you open a window? The smell of this food sitting In the car is starting to make me feel sick.” You say as you lower a window.

—————————————————

“You good? You been in there a while..” EZ knocked on the bathroom door as you hugged the toilet bowl. You were at Angels house for dinner with Angel, EZ, Coco, and Gilly.

“Yeah I’m fine just one second..” you managed to choke out. You wash your mouth and open the door greeted by a concerned EZ. “Hey you alright?”

“Yeah I’m fine, my stomach just has been feeling so fucked up lately... like since last week it’s like no matter what I eat, it just comes back up. It’s taking all of my strength it seems. I’m just gonna go home, I just want to go to bed.”

“You sure? You want me to come with you?” He asks.

“Yeah it’s okay, see you tomorrow.” You grab your purse and phone and head out.

“Where is she off to in such a hurry?” Angel motions to the front door.

“Home. I don’t know, she isn’t feeling too good I guess. She hasn’t been all week. I don’t know.” EZ takes a drink of his beer and looks at the Mayan men who are now staring back at him with raised brows.

He swallows and lets out a “What?”

“You sure she ain’t knocked up? You been wrapping it before you tap it right Boy Scout?”

“Yeah she’s definitely not pregnant.”

—————————————

“How the fuck am I pregnant?! You mutter to yourself and you stare at the 4 tests on your bathroom counter. How were you gna tell EZ? Your uncle? Your father? You never thought about having kids... this wasn’t part of the plan.

Summer was almost over and you were almost ready to head back home. This wasn’t supposed to happen. What if you didn’t tell anyone and just went home? What EZ didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. But you recalled the story he told you about Emily. Fuck. You can’t do that to him. He deserves to know. Shit. Shit shit shit. You get in the car and head to the clubhouse.

You pull in and everyone is sitting outside. “Hey mija” Bishop greets you. “Is everything okay? You look upset.”

“Yeah I’m fine, just came by to hang out. I have a day off finally. I’m gonna head inside and grab a water. Be back.”

You pass EZ and motion for him to go inside with you and he follows. “What’s wrong? You okay?”

“Um.. I.. just need to talk to you about something. But don’t freak out..”

EZ leaned against the bar as you sat on one of the stools.

You were choking on your words, unable to speak, when you finally blurted it out. “I’m pregnant, Ezekiel. It’s yours. And before you say anything, I don’t want or need anything from you, I’m not asking you for anything. I just-you deserved to know. I’m going home in a couple weeks anyway but I wanted to tell you before I left. I haven’t decided what I want to do and-"

“Wait stop, slow down. You’re pregnant? With my kid? Wait and you’re still going to leave ?” His voice slowly getting louder, “ You haven’t decided what you want to do? Do I get a say in this? Do I get to be part of the decision making process?”

“EZ lower your voice” you warn.

“No, screw That. Let them hear. Don’t go home. Easy. Decision made. Shit Y/N. it’s my kid.”

“EZ we can’t have a kid we aren’t even together. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Remember? Off limits.”

“Okay but I don’t care about that now, that’s out the window. What if I want this kid?”

The door to the clubhouse swings open and Bishop looks back and forth at the both of you. “Everything alright, Y/N?”

“EZ I can’t talk abut this anymore. Not today.” You move past him and head for the door.

“Y/N wait... Y/N!” He called out your name and you were out the door. Everyone watched in silence as EZ kicked over the barstools and leaned forward, his hands resting on the bar.

“What the fuck was that about kid?” Bishop came up behind EZ.

EZ stared forward, tears forming in his eyes. “Y/N... she’s... she’s pregnant.. with my kid.” He looks at Bishop. “I’m sorry Bish.”

—————————————————

Tag list: @starrynite7114 @briannab1234 @gemini0410 @ifoundmyhappythought t @briana-mishell24 @blackmissfrizzle @carlaangel86 @woahitslucyylu @marvelmaree @thickemadame @wrcn9fvlcver @sweetcannolicarisi @jadert15 @toni9

#mayans mc #mayans imagine #ez reyes #mayansfx #angel reyes #ezekiel reyes #mayans #ez x reader #jdpardo

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seunqs · 3 years

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[ a long get to know me tag ]

tagged by: losers @woosohn @yeonjuins

what day is your birthday?

27th june! it’ll be on a monday next year

what’s your favourite colour?

blue! a rather specific shade of light sky blue but i also like dark blue! might be misleading because everyone would think beige/black since that’s the aesthetic i like + almost everything i own is black...

what’s your lucky number?

i don’t have one i think but i tend to say 7 if i’m asked?

do you have any pets?

sadly no >:( will get one in the future idc idc

how tall are you?

158cm tiny i wna be abit taller

how many pairs of shoes do you own?

off my head i think 3 pairs...? just 2 black and 1 white that i rotate depending on the outfit i’m wearing

favorite song?

asdjekw i don’t think i have one specific one but recently i’ve been listening to maniac by nct doyoung & haechan!

other honourable mentions: a book of love by ha hyunsang, wide eyed blind by saint raymond, irreplaceable by nct dream, lmly by jackson wang. that’s all i have off my head

favorite movie?

surprisingly i’m not big on movies... but i’ll always answer parent trap when someone asks! why do i sound like i always have prepared answers in my head for various questions... okay that’s bc i do.

what would be your ideal partner?

@june look away i already know you’re gna say this sounds a lot like someone..

shy... is the main characteristics lmao idky it’s not even like i’m outgoing but i tend to find myself liking shy-er boys over the outgoing ones! aaa those with very obvious leadership qualities and quietly cares and looks out for those around them :’) tsundere! i think shy may appear cold sometimes but i’m rly :’) when the shy ones become very affectionate in private or when you get to know them better :’) or shy with strangers but very goofy and silly with their closer social circle heh those that are more cat-like than dog-like, only approaches you when they’re comfy. okay also shy but willing to speak up when necessary! doesn’t let themselves get bullied for being quiet and also pls speak up for me i hate ordering food pls do it for me HAHAHHA also if they’re passionate about something they like/are good at! good listeners too heh doesn’t need to always have the best advice, just if they would sit with me silently and listen to me and give me a hug afterwards :’’’’’) i think i’m on the touchier side too so if they don’t dislike that it’ll be nice! OH someone who’s good at cooking too bc i hate cooking and the kitchen in general.. i’ll do the dishes though HAHAHAH ok that is all there is a certain idol in my head that is the embodiment of my ideal type and i hate him >:(

do you want children?

no... not so much bc i don’t find them cute or i can’t handle them but i think it’s a commitment that scares me! bringing up the child well with the right character and values ajksdbwkje i don’t know if i’m up to that HAHAHAH

have you gotten in trouble with the law?

nope @woosohn @yeonjuins pls be proud of my direct no why are the two of you.........

bath or shower?

shower! i don’t know if i’ve actually taken a bath before... probably when i was younger HAHAH i think i’ll get bored in the bath and i much rather be relaxing in bed than in the tub

what color socks are you wearing?

barefoot at the moment! the socks i own are mostly solid colour socks / simple cartoon or animal patterns but all ankle socks that can’t be seen with my shoes

favorite type of music?

i listen to pop, r&b and indie! that’s about all and favourite depends on the mood!

how many pillows do you sleep with?

just 1! and a bolster too

what position do you sleep in?

either on my back with hand over my head lmao or turned to either sides while hugging my bolster and face buried into the bolster

what you don’t like when you’re sleeping?

when it’s too hot! canNOT sleep if the weather is too hot. also if i get woken up rudely, by screaming or someone smacking me awake LMAO just tell me nicely to get up and i’ll be out of bed in 10mins pls give me awhile my brain is turning on HAHAHA

what do you have for breakfast?

recently i haven’t woken up early enough for bfast or my family is just about to go out to buy lunch by the time i’m up hahaha but on the days that i’m alive for bfast, iced coffee and any pastry sitting in the fridge! my family is big on pastries like croissants and cakes like banana and carrot cakes! so one of those but the iced coffee is a constant in my first meal of the day

have you ever tried archery?

nope and idt i’ll be good at it tbh....

favorite fruit?

strawberries, apples, peaches! there are some seasonal favs where i rly like them for a period of time and then suddenly not anymore but these 3 are the constants

favorite swear word?

hahahaha i dont think i have a favourite one..... but i say tf a lot and mf for kpop boys who make me more flustered than they should

do you have any scars?

i don’t think so! i have a few stretch marks around my waist and tummy tho

are you a good liar?

yes... HAHAH i used to get scolded so much for lying as a kid lmfao

what’s your personality type?

isfj-t has probably only dipped to isfp-t once but if not constant isfj!

what’s your favorite type of girl?

HAHAHAH uh.... okay with all kinds i think? except people in general who try too hard

innie or outie?

innie. was this question necessary tho AHHAHAHA

left or right-handed?

right-handed

favorite food?

ramen! but i like lots of food lmfao tiramisu, pork belly, lots of noodles, also lots of rice, beef, cakes, ice cream, i think i’m more salty > sweet!

favorite foreign food?

japanese ramen, korean cuisine!, lasagne

are you clean or messy?

clean

most used phrase?

i think alot of keyboard smashes, lmao, wtf, HAHAHAHHAHA, sigh, i’m tired LOL

how long does it take for you to get ready?

depends! fastest i think i can get out of the house 20mins after i’ve woken up. longest probably an hour where outfit is taking a while and accessories needs to be chosen

do you talk to yourself?

in my head yes.

do you sing to yourself?

not often but i sing out loud for the family to hear LOL in my head very often a song is playing up there

are you a good singer?

nop. i don’t think i’m a BAD singer but wouldn’t classify as good either HAHHAHA

biggest fear?

wow so many things but i think biggest is complete darkness, i need to see and know what is going on around me. i sleep with a night light on heh

are you a gossip?

with closer friends yes def HAHAH my school culture tends to have lots of tea that my friends and i don’t like to get too involved in but we do talk about the gossips that goes around hahaha have also been in the center of gossip way too often

do you like long or short hair?

long! can’t imagine myself with short hair.. used to have reallllyyy long hair that goes beyond my waist and cried when i cut it to slightly below shoulder length. that’s the shortest i’ll ever go

favourite school subject?

wow nothing i don’t like school lmfao but humanities and language are way more bearable than math and sciences

extrovert or introvert?

introverted

what makes you nervous?

unpredictable situations, being alone in public (contradictory because in private i would strongly prefer to be alone but i don’t enjoy being alone in public i feel judged HAHAHA), also currently waiting on a reply for something and that’s been keeping me anxious the past 2 days :’)

who was your first real crush?

when i was 13/14, tablemate in school that was kinda shy and had very limited social circle but talked to me endlessly in class lmfao he apparently liked me too but we never dated and went to different schools at 16 y/o. we’re still kinda in touch though! we talked quite a fair bit last month just catching up but he’s more of an acquaintance now

how many piercings do you have?

2! just one normal lobe piercing on either ears, don’t think i’ll get anymore

how fast can you run?

back in school i used to be one of the fastest girls in my class LMFAO i could clock 12.5 minutes for a 2.4km run. stamina came from dancing since i had to run laps before dance class 2 times a week. but that is long in the past and now i get tired from climbing more than 4 flights of stairs pls spare me

what color is your hair?

naturally black but dyed brown! my hair has grown quite abit since i dyed it though now its black at the top and brown from above my ears onwards

what color are your eyes?

a very dark brown lmfao almost black

what makes you angry?

irresponsible people. just pushing responsibility to others or avoiding their responsibilities. don’t need you to do a good job with your responsibilities, just don’t make your issues my issues. and if its a shared responsibility like group projects, then do your part to contribute and don’t expect others to cover you

selfish people, in many ways. just being self-centred, not caring about how others feel, doing things for personal gain at the expense of others

speaking in a passive-aggressive/sarcastic manner. i say this even though i’m afraid of confrontation but i much rather someone outright tells me they’re unhappy about something or wants to get a point across. i hate when they talk about it sarcastically or tries to sugar-coat their words to make themselves look less aggressive about their words. tell me straight as it is, if you’re already gonna talk about something bad don’t piss me off with your attitude at the same time

do you like your own name?

rae is nice! has a very nice ring to it and looks pretty!

do you want a boy or a girl as a child?

i don’t.. want one.. but both have their good and bad i can’t decide.. i want a puppy

what are your strengths?

is this an interview question i have had a few interviews over the past weeks i am well-prepared for this HAHAHA

i think i’m pretty resilient! i bounce back from bad times pretty quickly or i psycho myself to see the situation positively. but it is ofc coupled with a lot of complaining to the people around me first

although i hate unpredictable situations and having to quickly adapt to new settings, i think i adapt pretty quickly too. flexible? easy-going? idk what’s the right way to call it but yeah something along those lines. good at it but i still enjoy my stability and calm don’t want to have to quickly adapt to new situations.

what are your weaknesses?

very emotional HAHAH used to be much worse but i often let my emotions rule my head. i think i’ve improved A LOT though i used to be so bad but i think i’m now able to make rational decisions even if im bawling LMFAO

this sounds like a compliment but i’ve been told this too often as well. i tend to be way too nice to people who don’t deserve it. even if the person doesn’t deserve it or they’ve pushed all my buttons in the wrong way possible, i would still try to be as nice and polite as i can. really helps with me working in the f&b industry lmfao.

what’s the colour of your bedspread?

dark blue / grey!

colour(s) of your room?

white & wood (throughout my house actually + green from the plants in the living room) @yeonjuins says i live in a muji showroom

#/#this took so long

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cowboyjimkirk · 3 years

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idk like. what the fuck is wrong with me fuck i just feel so so bad like im being cleaved in half. literally feels like how i felt during my massive breakdown in may when i had to bullshit my way out of work for 2 weeks. and i know im gna tell this to mr therapist man and hes gonna ask why i feel like this and i dont have an answer!! i dont know what triggers this i dont know why i just do and it sucks!! also i relapsed and my hot water is still fucked literally why can nothing work - trans anon

anyway guess who had ✨another breakdown✨. im so tired of this shit and my therapist does fuck all we've had 4 sessions and it's the same shit everytime and I dont even know what's wrong with me!!!! im just so tired of stupid rapidly cycling emotions and not even being able to do basic fucking tasks I'm so tired I'm going to sleep just now but its 4am and I've been up since 10am I just. need everything to stop this break from work was meant to be a fucking holiday and instead literally every single day has been spent with me either in bed depressed unable to do stuff or me in bed sobbing or me in bed screaming like. theres been dishes in the sink for 5 days I just want to do the dishes!!!!! why cant I do the fucking dishes - trans anon

i’m sorry, i know how much it hurts and i know how much you want it to stop. and i promise it will, even if it doesn’t seem possible right now.

remember that you can tell your therapist everything you just told me. you can be honest and say that you don’t know what’s triggering your feelings, that you’re desperate, that you feel like he isn’t helping. because he is there to help you and if that’s not happening, he should know. either he can adjust his approach or you can start talking to someone else. i know you were looking for a break from this onslaught of bad feelings and i’m so sorry that therapy hasn’t provided that, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen. it’s just going to take some time.

i love you so much. please, please just go easy on yourself. you’re not a failure because therapy isn’t working or because your apartment isn’t clean. you’re just struggling and it’s completely understandable. keep yourself safe and reward yourself for what you have accomplished (like starting to see a therapist in the first place, which is a huge step)

#<333 #ilu trans anon #depression #ask to tag #i love you please take care of yourself #Anonymous

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vanillebean · 4 years

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Tumblr Diary #1

nov. 11 2020

my 18th birthday was yesterday. since my family is broke, we couldn’t rly do much. so my mom insisted she would cook 4 me. i was not into the idea but i had 2 let her bc she needed to do it i guess. i had her make a meal that i liked that is *semi* healthy. i guess the problem is that i don’t know the calories. and now we have lots of leftovers. i’ll have 2 pretend to eat it now. 2day i ate some again but 2 days without knowing my calories is enough to drive me crazy. so tomorrow, i’m starting anew.

i bought some oranges the other day which i’ll incorporate into my intake. they’re between 70-90 cals. i’ll just say 90. better 2 go over than under. then i’ll have a couple slices of bread (160 for both which is odd). i don’t love eating bread bc yikes carbs but it’s all i rly have that i know the exact calories of. i’ll have some dry cereal, but i’ll have 2 calculate those calories. i’ll likely end up at around 400 calories or so. that will b ok for 2morrow.

i’m super tired now. but i cannot sleep if my life depended on it. my mom refuses 2 take me 2 a doctor. says i don’t get exercise, that’s why. excuse me, i’m anorexic, ofc i get exercise you just don’t know about it. whatever. i’m gna take advantage of the fact that i’m actually tired 4 once.

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judehayward · 4 years

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lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: ju-Das juda-ah-ah… frankly i missed this ridiculous depressed little man so i’m gna try my hand at playing 2 charas again. the crowd grits their teeth in apprehensive nerves. it’s fine it’s fine it’s all FINE!!!!!!!!! also this is nai btw forgot to say. anyway. ahem. without further adieu.... his intro

he pinterest:

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger’s rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying “fuck off” to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

ok to start w i won’t lie i’ve pasted in an old intro here bc i just hate intros i hate writing them i hate them................. bt it’s fine.......................... lets pretend this is all fresh n sexy n new....... bsically this is jst a disclosure tht this isn’t tht well written bc it’s old n stinky bt we’re all jst having fun here. bye

he hd to do community service bc he kind of… hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he… stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like… drivin around the place sort of… tryin nt to cry…..KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw… broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room……. this ws like 2/3 months ago nw mayb bt... just some fun lore fr u all

in a new development in terms of sexuality i jst am nt quite sure……. hes always thot he ws straight… fooled around w a 90s hugh grant lookalike once n ws jst a bit like :/ my rocks rnt blasted off? bt who knows wht the future holds… who KNOWS wht the future holds ladies n gentlemen

they just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work out

they were ok to him like they weren’t abusive or anything like that bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plans. they literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they even knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care one bit

they were both suuuuper into the arts. they’re both rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a successful gallery in san fran

as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws their son forcing them to b responsible n look after someone else. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh fgkhdfgh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing. i mean he’s gd bt… Calm Down Jude. personality wise he acts out sometimes bc he’s so frustrated. he tried rly hard to be someone his parents wld care abt by doing wild or stupid things so he’d hav funny stories to tell them n tbh sometimes it works n he gets them to laugh w him but it isn’t a parent/son bond n it never rly wil b.

he’s rly sarcastic, sleeps around a bit, has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably draw them n get rly defensive if they find out abt it fkjgdhfkj bcos he’s an Independent Boy without a sentimental bone in his body. or so he says. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women. tries to b? a feminist bt sometimes fucks up n offends ppl n is like dam….. my bad fr :/

he has p bad insomnia so he like never sleeps fgjkhfgjkf he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot

ANYWAY that aside he’s at lockwood doing fine arts. he luvs painting n photography n philosophy n all tht. a pretentious fiend sometimes? maybe_so.gif. he isn’t rly pushy abt it tho n tends to like.... take nothing seriously bt at the same time acts like he is??? like he’s very deadpan in everything he does

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges on all his clothes. wandering the streets eating frm a cereal box without care in public. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a good time. o and he’s That Guy that would die fr morrissey (his vibe not personality bc i hc jude was depressed n shut himself inside all day when he actually found out what a dick he is dfjkfhg) and all that stone roses the smiths etc stuff music wise. HMU FR PLOTS!!!!!! i’m down fr anything

#radintro #depression tw #death tw #grief tw #neglect tw #trauma tw #jst implied bt never elaborated on #drugs tw #i think tht is all???

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judememories · 5 years

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lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: oOoohohOhoh im in love w judas.... ju-Das juda-ah-ah... i rly missed jude tbh so i decided to bring him in as a second. i hv faith i cn manage jugglin i... ...... .. . have faith. in case u dnt kno it is me (nai) n this is like. the one (1) male chara iv ever managed to play longer than jst a few weeks. truly jst Zee Fruit Of My Womb! bt anyway. jst gna leap right in to the intro. we die like men

he pinterest:

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger's rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying "fuck off" to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

he hd to do community service bc he kind of... hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he... stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like... drivin around the place sort of... tryin nt to cry.....KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw... broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room....... n thts where hes been 2 explain his absence to any of u whose charas had... connections w him Way Back When

in a new development in terms of sexuality i jst am nt quite sure....... hes always thot he ws straight... fooled around w a 90s hugh grant lookalike once n ws jst a bit like :/ my rocks rnt blasted off? bt who knows wht the future holds... who KNOWS wht the future holds ladies n gentlemen

frm this point on i wnt lie iv pasted in his old intro bc. a bich is lazy! a bich is predictable! and a bich! is! unapologetic!

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was bornthey just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work outthey were ok to him like they weren’t abusive or anything like that bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plansthey literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they even knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care one bit

they were both suuuuper into the arts. they’re both rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a rly successful gallery in san fran

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit, especially kerouac, n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing. i mean he’s gd bt… Calm Down Judepersonality wise he acts out sometimes bc he’s so frustrated. he tried rly hard to be someone his parents wld care abt by doing wild or stupid things so he’d hav funny stories to tell them n tbh sometimes it works n he gets them to laugh w him but it isn’t a parent/son bond n it never rly wil b.

he’s rly sarcastic, sleeps around a lot, has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably draw them n get rly defensive if they find out abt it fkjgdhfkj bcos he’s an Independent Boy without a sentimental bone in his body. or so he says. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women. tries to b? a feminist bt sometimes fucks up n offends ppl n is like dam..... my bad fr :/

ANYWAY that aside he’s at lockwood doing fine arts. he luvs painting n photography n philosophy n all tht. a pretentious fiend sometimes? maybe_so.gif

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges along that Dramatic model jawline. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a good time. o and he’s That Guy that would die fr morrissey (his vibe not personality bc i hc jude was depressed n shut himself inside all day when he actually found out what a dick he is dfjkfhg) and all that stone roses the smiths etc stuff music wise. HMU FR PLOTS!!!!!! i’m down fr anything

#wshedintro #grief tw #death tw #mental illness tw #drugs tw #think thts all of them... theres other stuf in his past bt... think iv jst alluded to it rather than anythin specific so. winks!#mayb #abuse tw #bt idk... ok posts

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maladaptah · 2 years

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Im so close to being done w this random deer…… :D……. Like done in one day level of ready! Which makes me super happy cause i now know it’s possible for me to be able to make art good enough to post much faster and Ok so I know I said I was going to finish that orange dog and I did think about and plan to I just woke up this morning and wanted to like practice with something quick as a warm up because I know from experience that I do my best work when I’m just coming down from the high of a quick mindless drawing that actually ended up turning out really cute, like I just knew that it would give me heaps of art energy. So to start the day off on the right foot you know- I was like oh I just need to crank soemthing out that’s easy and cute and I really REALLY liked that monkey I posted a couple of days ago which was exactly what I needed… an accidental warm up that turned out cute and took under 30mins …. So I thought id do something similar today! The monkey was basically just sketching over a random thumbnail concept painting of a design I didn’t care abt and haphazardly coloring it so I went and found another shitty concept painting of something to line over

Butttttt what was originally supposed to be a simple cleanup of an existing meh design turned into a - oh I’ll just slightly- update the color pallete a little bit and then just some small slight little changes to the silhouette and then before I knew it I was on yet another Pinterest image collecting tangent completely revamping the entire design and relearning how to draw a new species….. just….yeah… basically I chewed through all my best working hours today so i only have a good 2hrs left of drawing energy before I start becoming too tired to make good art but too unwilling to go yet another day without finishing that FAKCING orange dog so I stress stay up and tell myself I’ll have a short break to unwind and then the short break becomes a fixation on some new tv series or YouTube genre and I watch videos for 10hrs and then it’s the next day and I’ve been awake for 25hrs and no longer live in my countries Timezone and then oh it’s okay I’ll just pull an all nighter to remix it so I try to stay up the entire day as well but I get tired at the 30hr mark and fall asleep at an even more awkward time and then I remember just as I’m drifting off that oh shit my aunties coming over so I stress half awake half asleep nap for 2hrs where I stress wake up every 10 minutes ruining my rem because I think every little noise is my auntie at the door. And then it’s day 365 of not finishing that orange dog and being awake 20hrs and just ….. wish I had adhd medication or like cognitive therapy or somehting…my sleep health has been fucked my whole life like… doesn’t that shit shave years off ur life… and like gives u pimples and like this FUCKINF orange dog

But yah anyways I’m nearly done w this random deer woohooooooo😆😆😆😆 it’s gna be dressed like 70s Austin power flamboyant he/him kinda vibes! I cbf cleaning up the clothed version rn cos Ik that will shave another 10 years off of my life span so its just like normal water deer coloring dont have ur hopes too high oh and….. I’m not like 100% in love with the fur patterning but yk it was SUPPOSED to be something easy and I need to just let it be and I already decided the jacket and glasses save it okay just trust me….. like it’s cute w clothes …… I promise …. it really solves the color blocking issues and like most furries are clothed anyway?? Right so it doesn’t matter and it was supposed to be easy and ugly not my magnum opus and the coloring and anatomy isn’t too bad so it’s fine and like and and such as and therefore !!!!!!

#note to self #art insanity

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bluebirdzykaysies · 3 years

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5.14 - day before momma leaves

Goddamnit I hate to admit it but I’m already thinking and crying like a baby in my head once my mom leaves me to go back home to sf. the feeling is mutual like melissa said cause she’ll probably be just as a wreck and all this time I’ve been spending with her, I’m cherishing even more. I’ve never felt like this and Victoria said the same thing; expecting that while I transition. But everyone needs to experience this. I DO, especially. I need the time away for a bit to miss them and I already miss those interactions with my brothers too of just lounging in the living room watching NBA games all night, or youtube videos like its judyslife or ustheduo.

Our lives have changed already and itll be so hard as I am bawling my eyes out, sitting in my newly mounted dining table my mom and I put together, facing outwards my window with the Chicago sun, beaming through at a whopping 54 degrees.

This is my life now, I will be on my own and making decisions on my own. Ive told a few folks that I’m sad yet annoyed my moms time here was a bit much. But I know it was perfect for what it is. We’ve been tired each and everytime, her actions speak volumes and our conversations arent as deep as I want, but I know this quality time was one that will impact my life forever. Even though I hate to admit it or will say this to her face. i love my mom. so much, she means so much to me and my brothers. The amount of things she does unselfishly aka drive my freaking car with just her and hector for 5 days cross country. do what she did to make me help settle, there is no one like her. and I will forever appreciate her and love her.

She is opinionated and still felt like I couldnt decide for myself but this will be also a time where I speak up and use my voice. Saying NO.

ugh the tears keep falling down but some highlights from this past week were:

- Silly vlog videos that I actually may put together when I get the time

- 5/6; arrived - went to container store to buy my elfa shelving for my closet. Super nice lady that worked there Hector spoke to. Went to world market to check out their furniture and standing mirrors. TJ Maxx/HomeGoods and picked up some bathroom essentials, shower curtain, mats and beddings, Facetimed Yan/Ronz/Brent+Rick at night (10pm CST)

Mom stayed with Hector at Courtyard Marriot til Saturday 5/8. So I wanted to stay at the apartment for the first time alone and enjoy the moment and soak it all in. Parking at my garage alone, randomly waking up to the SUNRISE at 545am and just being in awe of my new city... I could just cry

Didn’t get my wifi set up yet so the struggle was real a bit. The air mattress we got from costco has been tough to sleep on but eventually Ill get my mattress. Just have been torn with my furniture not being here since everything was rushed and happened so quickly. Learnings from the move thus far:

-Write a damn list, I DID NOT. Aka thats why a bunch of junk and unnecessary things were with my mom and hector in the car. All couldve been bought here. I ocouldve taken more clothes and shoes

-Alot of my clothes aka my favorite jean jacket and pink/mauve henley was left at home. My running shoes - I decided not to prioritize idk fucking why *rolls eyes* and alot of my other valuables. Brendan is nice enough to ship it. Its not worth to buy a RT flight and go there and take it all back with me... no. :( I would though tbh if I was in LA. lol make couple trips but I’m far enough that its like.... whewww is it worth but one day I will come back and visit. For now, its slated for Oct

5/7 Friday; I had it off started the day late at 12pm and booked my mom, hector and myself tickets to the skydeck. my mom was HILARIOUS, she was scared at first and thought it would be a huge platform to see under but once she saw its just a small piece of glass over 105 floors, it wasnt THAT bad. Her and hector are hilarious together and annoying a little LOL. but I guess they’re cute

Went to Wrigley Field while there was a game and that was an experience. Fans at the top of their houses, Security all over the block, streets closed, fans everywhere. Its such a historical building in the middle of a freaking neighborhood so it made itself unique vs att/oracle park being so secluded down in mission bay.

RPM Steak for dinner in River North. Valet’d the car and Hector treated us to a Missouri Steak? it was bomb though but I wanted Medium and he wanted medium rare... cream of spinach, mac and cheese, asparagus and for dessert topped with a Baked Alaskan. Whatever that is. (It was good) and my first time trying it.. me and mom. Our waitor was a nice lady in her 30s, gave me tori kelly vibes. Then another worker stopped by our table who looked filipino for sure (Rox’s ex Dennis look a like) but I already for got his name. He told us how he lived in West Town too and would eat at this bomb restaurant called “Uncle Mikes” maybe the ‘superstar’ of chicago :) hectors jokes were a bit much saying climbing up the coconut tree and asking if he can make halo halo in the back for dessert. No sir....

5/8 Saturday; Plan was to visit Macys downtown to check out furniture at around 930am. But they werent open til 11am. We checked out the Bean at Millenium Park and my mom got to see all the tulips and flowers. We waited in line for a while at Stans Donuts since Wildberry was just too WILD and packed, so we walked a block down and had ourselves some coffee and donuts for the day. After we headed to Macys and were greeted by a tall man name Hilary. he’s THEEE BEST. he knew we didnt have to buy anything from him at macys but he’s such a sales guy and has been in this business for so long that he kept tlaking about Quality of furniture and making yourself feel comfy and at home. Being in a small apt, or living out alone for the first time, separating each section once winter hits so you’re not bored out of your mind in the small place. He was so friendly and nice, I took his business card. Went to Ashley’s on the way to the airport and got gas. Feel in love with the small dinette table they had but the one I’m sitting on now I feel like is just perfect. Soletren couch will forever be out of stock and I will never let this go :( honestly dont know how itll fit in my door but i guess i will settle for something reasonable and decent in size

IVE BEEN SPENDING SO MUCH MONEY. . . . . . . I cant even. I got paid today so todays check will be sponsoring all of my credit card funds. Gna just pay it off in full so I dont have to deal with it. But going forward a budget will be set. and luckily some of the things I bought work can reimburse so I’ll do expenses sunday perhaps.

Saturday evening after dropping off hector, we did errands in the suburbs and went to a walmart. a bit ghetto lookin but its fine. Decided to go to costco after but had an incidentn with this white man who bumped my car and didnt apologize. I was going to say something but we’re so far out in the suburbs Idk what the hell he wouldve done to me. And if they’re racist out there. took the long way home and it was prob not through the safest neighbor hoods but my mom didnt have to know since traffic on the freeway was just ALOT. omg and the roads are just so bumpy, my poor car. Becca said she has a guy at a shop her family always goes to so hopefuully I wont need him but just nice to know the option is there.

Went to the costco up by roscoe village and bought food and more essentials like medicine i have a whole pharmacy. again throughout all this, my mom is the MVP. I wouldve been like, Ill go get it when I need it vs mom stocking up beforehand. We ended up setting my living room with a japanese style seating using my elfa shelving as the table and a towel over it. Leftovers from RPM for dinner and ribs/salad from costco. (I keep eating, and we’re not walking alot so....... I’m def gaining wait and will need to lose this asap)

I’ll be back more to cover this past week; mothers day, ikea, seafood city, hanging with becca, azul mariscos, drunk at ross and dollar tree, pants falling (mom) unbuttoned pants cuz we’re so ‘stuffffffed’ hanging with the boys via facetime cause I do miss them :( I need to havea schedule with them.

kk toodles. time to go back to work. no more crying (maybe) then an architecture tour with my mom <3 and dinner at a steakhouse at MJ’s on Michigan Ave BYeeeee

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surveysonfleek · 6 years

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913.

How has today been for you?: it’s been a long day. i woke up after sleeping in until 1pm, had lunch with my boyfriend then quickly went to work. What did you do?: oh i basically just explained it ^ Name everything you’ve drank so far.: i haven’t drunk anything but water today.

Are there any candles lit in the room you’re in?: yes, like eight. Are you alone?: yes.

Are there any lava lamps near you?: nope. never owned one. Have you been outside today?: only for a short while. it was warm but got quite cold at night. What’s the weather like?: ugh i just explained it again ^ Do you like cats or dogs better?: dogs. Are any of your friends a pothead?: two of my friends used to be. they’ve both quit within the last six months. What’s a goal you’re trying to accomplish soon?: get out of my job asap before i get stuck there forever. The last song you listened to was?: some tory lanez song. What color is the last lighter you used?: orange. Does any part of you itch at the moment?: the side of my bust lol. How is your love life? it’s fine. What noises just give you the goose bumps?: anything similar to nails on a chalkboard. or a singer reaching high notes perfectly. Is anything important happening today?: today is over. What toothpaste do you use?: just switched to sensodyne. What have you eaten today?: spam eggs and rice. sweet and sour fish and a donut. The time?: 3:05am. Did you know you wanted to be in a relationship with the person you are now: when you first met him/her?: hell no. i enjoyed the attention he gave me but there were no romantic feelings until we got to know each other. How did you two meet?: at a friend’s birthday party. Do you say pop or soda?: neither. soft drink. When did you last paint your toe nails?: forever ago. What color?: pink. How do you feel right now?: tired. What kind of mood are you in?: just chill i guess. Are you a high maintenance person?: not really. i like things a particular way but i’m not gna expect someone to do things for me. i’ll just do it myself. Anything frustrating you?: no. Do you have frequent nose bleeds?: i got nose bleeds during summer all the time as a kid but i grew out of it. i don’t remember the last time i had one. How old are your parents?: my mum is 54 and my dad is 61. Do you know anyone who is pregnant?: yes! two people. Children having children..right?: not at all. The last time you yelled as loud as you could, what was the reason?: we were trying to see who could scream the highest/loudest. How long has it been since you were sick?: sometime last year. Do you get your feelings hurt easily?: not really. How many best friends have you had throughout your life?: around 7 haha. What is your favorite pet’s name?: my only pet is sky. Did you have a good night last night? Explain.: last night was...okay. i was the designated driver so i had fun but it would’ve been better if i was drinking too. Have you ever been heartbroken?: no. Who did that to you?: - Do you “work well with others”?: generally yeah. Ever been in a fist fight?: nope. Did you go through an ugly stage as a kid?: haha not really. i looked the same from childhood to now. Do you have freckles?: no. Isn’t it stupid that everyone is getting pregnant and engaged at such young: ages?: tbh i didn’t see it that often when i was younger. Love is not a word to be tossed around so easily, right?: yep. And the same for hate?: yep. Would you rather live in Alaska or New Zealand?: probably nz. The last time you got upset, why did you?: i don’t remember. Are you bored?: kinda. Do you think that is an understatement?: no. What is your favorite season? Why?: autumn. i just love the transition from warm to cold. Your best subject in school?: visual arts. Who never fails to annoy you?: my boyfriend at times lol. Posers are..?: meh. What do you think of those oh so nice orangeness tans.: it depends. some look pretty and sun kissed, others just look bad. Do you like yourself?: sometimes.

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

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