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bluepilogue-s · 3 years

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[ THERE’S NOTHING MORE ROMANTIC THAN DYING ]

gn!reader X non-idol!golcha/jibeom(romance is insinuated)

zombie apocalypse au ! (word count: 800+)

WARNINGS; bruising mentions, zombies, death, gun insinuation, open-ish ending. (& 1 cuss word)

this all just … tumbled out throughout this past week so .. only slightly edited + can only hope it makes any sense PFPFPF — hope you enjoy ! please like/rb if you do :)

With his hand in yours, Jibeom watches the zombies bang on the doors as you settle back down onto the small couch; the feeling of fear having faded into one of acceptance in your heart, but your hands still tremble ever-so-slightly as you accidentally make eye-contact with one of the bearers of your end after pulling a blanket over your thighs.

The bite on your leg itches; as if to remind you that you were going to die whether your group’s safe-base was attacked or not, that the hoard was — if anything — speeding up the time you had left as you. Your goodbyes to the rest of the people you’d spent months with happened only — what feels like — a few minutes ago; Joochan’s ‘no goodbyes, only see you laters!’ still ringing in your ears, which reminds you that you should probably —

“You need to go.” You let go of Jibeom’s hand, looking toward him and away from the hallow eyes. “They’re waiting on you, dummy.”

You’re met with silence — or as much silence you can get with the banging and snarls — and you realize that Jibeom hadn’t even been looking at the crowd of monsters, but at the bruising bite on your calf. Fighting back a groan as you move it away from his sight to gain his attention, you say, “Jibeom.”

He finally hums, before looking over at you; his eyes shiny while his mouth was twisted into a frown. “I’m still not sure this is the best—”

“Don’t do this.” You sigh, looking away and bringing the blanket around your shoulders closer as if to shield yourself from Jibeom’s continuous protests. When he opens his mouth to continue his speech, you add, “It hurts to move anything below the waist at this point — this is the best.”

“And you need to go — your window of opportunity is closing.” His face scrunches up more after you add this, as if to try his best to oppose your decision in any way he can.

“I just hate the thought that your last moments are of us leaving you to them.” He finally states, all of his face flattening out aside from his mouth, which was still stuck in a deep frown. Your heart twists as you realize that that was what was bothering him — that you wouldn’t be able to comfortably pass away. You look at Jibeom for a moment, trying to ignore the feeling of hey, you’re dying! sinking into your bones.

“My last moments will be knowing that you guys are safe.” You point out, “Not of you guys ‘leaving me to them’. I’d like to think that you’d know I wouldn’t think of you like that.”

A sharp sound of glass breaking echos just as you were about to teasingly click your tongue, bringing your and Jibeom’s attention back toward the groaning monsters’ banging on the windows and doors. “Shit, okay —”

Your hands begin to lightly shake again, the fear of Jibeom not making it out in time growing larger at the sight of the large crack appearing on one of the windows; a clear sign that it wouldn’t be long before the entire window would give in to the weight of who-knows-how-many zombies. With a growing knot in your throat, you wince as you reach over to pull Jibeom’s bag over; a sharp pain spiking up your spine at the sudden movement.

“You need to go, love.” You state, swatting at his worried hands he had stretched out the second you moved to grab his bag. “Before we both end up food for them, and Jaehyun tries something stupid to get you.”

Although slightly slow — as if to still silently argue with you — in his movements, Jibeom finally stands up; pulling his bag over his shoulders, and shuffling toward the back entrance everyone else had earlier.

“But hey,” you start, making him pause halfway to turn to look at you one last time, “I’ll find you, alright? Maybe not as human - or one of those things - but maybe as something smaller. So stay safe, you hear me?” You give him a small, but stern, glare with a teasing smile, sitting back against the couch arm.

Jibeom hums, continuing his way toward the exit while shaking his head, “I’ll try - until next time, right?” And with a tight grin and two-fingered salute, he leaves; the sound of his footsteps just barely audible over the banging and groans of your soon-to-be-guests, and you wait ten more minutes after he disappears before moving again, grabbing an object off the floor with a shaky sigh.

There’s nothing more romantic than dying, you think one last time just before pulling the trigger; the sound echoing with a loud bang! just as the doors break under the monsters. The commotion causing Jibeom — and your group — to look over and watch as the monsters stampede the building that had once held a warmer life.

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chaoticspacefam · 3 years

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2020 In Review: Wordcount Tag

I was tagged for this by @actualanxiousswampwitch , thank you! I’m not sure who’s already done or been tagged for this cause I am, once again, late to the party LOL but I shall (no pressure and sorry if you’ve already done it!) tag: @rainofaugustsith , @darth-bagel , @thatmmolesbian , @thelastenvoyyy and anybody else who wants to do this. Yes, I promise I mean you!

Words: 45,314

Published: 0 (I’m not counting the couple of Six Sentence tags I’ve gotten, they’re snippets of an unfinished piece & are included below instead :), or roleplay replies, cause that feels like cheating lol.) I actually wrote a lot more than I thought I had, this is a rough guesstimate as well, as my oneshot WIPs tend to be all over the place across something like 6 different documents, some of which have existed since 2018, so I had to guess at how far up to count from the end for some of them, but I think it’s a fair guesstimate XD I also have included lore/worldbuilding docs in this because that was a 3-month long Lockdown 1.0 Boredom/”Canon is a trash fire so I’m ignoring that and making up my own lore” passion project and I’m goddamn proud of how much I wrote for that. It’s the most I’ve written in one stretch (think I finished it over a span of 3 nights or so, once I’d done all the research and made all the notes ofc ^^)

Not Published: 45,314

The Breakdown:

swtor - 45,314

for creeping shadows (my main longfic/part one of the subterfugeverse series) - 1,553 - Aria, stop being difficult! *shakes fists* XD

oneshots - 16,223

lore/worldbuilding (for subterfugeverse naturally) - 23,001 (is this ALL tomato alien lore? pretty much, yes, yes it is :’D ~400 words is “the WIP reworked timeline to correlate my worldbuilding with the canon timeline that was released”, but 98% is just...me thinking way too much about Purebloods and how they deserved way better goddamn lore. I blame @fluffynexu ‘s amazing tomato worldbuilding posts, reading them when I went looking for “canon” lore one day for the rp is what got me started down that rabbithole (it’s awesome and if you haven’t already you should totally go check hers out too :DD), I had a “fuck you then canon I’ll do it myself too >:L” moment and once I started I couldn’t stop until I’d crapped out literally over 20k words on the subject *whispering* thank you LOL)

zephyrverse au bonus oneshots - 4,537 (stuff I wrote to fill in time gaps or “just cause I had a plot bunny”, relating to mine and k-christine’s zephyrverse au rp. None of these will likely be posted publicly, but they still deserve to be counted as words I wrote this year :’D

As you can see, most of my “muse” this year came from sporadic oneshots :’D The Ahaszaai twins also properly plot-bunnied their way into my brain in late 2019 and haven’t stopped making a nuisance of themselves the whole fucking year. Every time I tried to carry on with a chapter, one of the two of them would pop up like “Nooo write about ME! pay attention to ME!” - Yes, Ni’kasi, I will get to you this year, I promise XD

New Things I Tried:

Just Writing. Not worrying about whether “it wasn’t part of the next chapter” or “it comes from a part in the story that I’m nowhere near close to posting yet”. If I felt like writing something, or for a specific pairing/feeling/scene, whatever. I wrote until I ran outta muse juice. Yeah, it meant I didn’t technically “finish” anything this year BUT - the important thing is I wrote stuff. and that’s all that really matters, eh? :’D

Polyam ships! May not seem like a big deal but I spent a long time talking myself out of them because of internalised toxic monogamy and finally saying “you know what, fuck it! I can ship three or more people together and it can still be a perfectly wholesome, healthy and loving relationship and that’s okay” was a BIG thing for me this year.

Dialogue Scripts: which I didn’t count as wordcount because really it’s just word vomit of general tone/inflection and dialogue that I came up with right before falling asleep which I didn’t want to lose. Basically, if an exchange or a particularly punchy or moving line of dialogue popped into my brain but I wasn’t ready to write the whole scene that it fit into out, but didn’t want to forget the line(s). I wrote it out in movie script/script-style roleplay fashion e.g. Character’s Name: (emotion, hand gestures etc.) [Dialogue here] and so on. I know this is probably a well known trick of the trade, but I never took it seriously until this year. Seriously, do it. It’s great.

Favorite Thing I Wrote:

Hmmm, a snippet for Andronikos/Ni’kasi that I started this week which isn’t posted yet (saving it for this week’s Six Sentence Sunday so look out for it! :D) was pretty fun to work on, I love their dynamic and Kas is suprisingly fun to write for.

Also the Aria/Vano proposal scene that I posted a snippet for the week before last. I’m having great fun with that scene, and I really enjoy putting a non-serious spin on the classic “proposal scene” tropes. Can’t wait to finish it, though it may be a while before the full one goes up on AO3, as it depends whether it ends up fitting in as part of the mainfic or as an additional oneshot

And I have a D’leah/Kissai oneshot that I need to give another once-over before I finally yeet it onto AO3 and Tumblr for you guys to see :’D

Favorite Fic I Read:

@sleepswithvillains Eleanora/Quinn fic, Helplessly Hoping. I’m horribly behind on chapters and I gotta catch up and read the finale this week, but it’s been a helluva great ride and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the story! <3

Also The Invitation collab with @tishinada featuring Zas and Fiona had me squealing, I can’t wait to catch up on HH and see more of these two, they’re adorable ;-; @a-muirehen ‘s Relu/Merkara series of course! I’m a complete sucker for (friends to lovers to in Ariano’s case but yea pfpfpf) enemies to lovers ships and these two are just so good, I am on the edge of my seat every time we get a new snippet for them, ngl (grimace emoji) @darth-bagel ‘s Sylvas/Graz’zt and Sylvas/Liz/Rilfaen snippets which they’ve been spoiling me with on Discord @mercurypilgrim ‘s Ven’fir/Quinn AU oneshots, Cloudbank (Western was a particular favourite, but all are very good!) and of course @rainofaugustsith ‘s Lana/Viri updates are always fantastic, some personal favourites from this year were Almost There & Memory of Healing :3 (I totally still go back to read Commander & Advisor too sometimes, getting to see Viri be a little diabolical and messing with “MiNiSTeR LoRMaN!” was and still is my favourite thing XD)

If I’ve left you out I’m sorry!! These were the ones that stuck out in my memory, but I’ve loved everyone’s writing this year, it’s been great :3

Writing Goals:

to actually finish and post chapter 8 & 9 of Creeping Shadows. Then we’ll get to the meat and potatoes of the story and maybe Aria will stop being a brat and fighting me every time I try to stick to a semi-regular update schedule Get off my butt, finalise the name and get started on Ni’kasi’s part of the Subterfugeverse story. Maybe run the updates in-tandem with Creeping Shadows but idk if I want to wait till after CS is done before I start posting Kas’s side, or do them side-by-side yet, we’ll see ;) Keep writing! I know better than to pressure myself by setting a specific word count goal, that’s never worked well in the past

At least 2 chapters of each of the works mentioned above would be great though, more would be better! We’ll see how I go

Words of Thanks:

honestly, to everybody in the fandom I’ve met this year. Anybody that I follow, thank you for being there and engaging with me and/or posting amazing content for me to look at! I came over from deviantART where the SWTOR fandom is incredibly small and generally quite inactive and the contrast since moving over here has been incredibly uplifting. I very nearly cancelled Creeping Shadows and stopped posting fic for my SWTORverse altogether because I got next to no engagement on dA and it was very disheartening to the point where I felt I could enjoy the game and the rp partners I had, but the solo projects I’d put so much thought, time and love into already weren’t worth continuing. You guys took that spark and kept it going and I really don’t have enough words to say how grateful I am for that. Even if I haven’t published much this year, making posts on this tumblr, interacting with everyone and working on lore, plot points and so on for Subterfugeverse has kept me going through the Hellish Year of Nightmares that was 2020 <3

to the amazing new friends I’ve made in this past year, who have listened to me ramble about headcanons, character backstories, writing snippets (and rambled/sent some back), keep being awesome: @walk-ng-d-saster , @darth-bagel , @kyber-heart , @deepseacritter , @thedinalixlegacy to further friends and meme tag buddies, I get so excited every time I see a mention for a new meme or ask game in my inbox, so thank you!! : @mimabeann , @palepinkycat , @a-master-procrastinator , @raven-of-domain-kwaad , @actualanxiousswampwitch , @thatmmolesbian , @a-muirehen to my regular commentors/rebloggers/likers/askbox lurkers, I see every one of you and every time your users pop up I grin like a kid in a toy shop: @starlightjedi , @sparkles-and-rust , @wilvarin-chan , @sunsetofdoom , @ask-an-andalite , @thelastenvoyyy . @lyrishadow and more because Tumblr only goes so far back and I have the memory of Swiss Cheese. If you regularly comment, like, reblog, or anything, from me, know that I see you, and I love and appreciate you for it! <3

I couldn’t possibly remember to tag everyone and I promise if I missed you out it’s not because I hate you! Anxiety just sometimes be a bitch and I don’t wanna look like a clown calling someone a “friend” if I’m not explicitly sure we are, in fact, friends. I think you’re all awesome and I’m so glad to have moved over here and met you all <3

#long post #wordcount year review tag #elven's writing: stats #repost bc i goofed some links woops sorry everyone #^^;#will i eventually post any of this stuff? yes!#i will. i just...don't know *when* the time will be right for most of it hahaha #the only bits i won't post are the zephyrverse-specific oneshots cause i just don't feel like i want to #but everything else will (eventually) in some capacity be thrown into the void for all of you to read #shameless friend appreciation post #shameless mutual and follower appreciation post #<3 #swtor sort of

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chaorelance · 7 years

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SO ANYWAY HERE’S THE FIRST EPISODE OF THE NIGHT, DEPENDING ON IF I DO EPISODES ON THESE JOBBERS I REMEMBERED EXISTED.

Like, no, seriously. I just remembered a guy who called himself CHAOS BLACK was part of the motley early age crew. God, I’m amazed at how many people I fucking forgot.

We probably won’t get an episode on him, sorry, I think he ran a few characters or games that were alright but he’s really not important in any way.

Today, we’re going to talk about a good pal named ‘Gal’, of which that is a nickname because I can’t remember his full name.

Gal was another case like Ookami, except he was more like Geintz in which he was HONESTLY just an unbearably human being. He ran games occasionally, and to be honest they were among the more fun ones, mechanically.

But everyone fucking hated this dude, besides again, Me and Nathaniel, because Nathaniel was just that guy, as I’ve said, and well... Look, Ittybittybun just wanted to be friends with everyone.

Completely and honestly, I was the kind of kid who would’ve walked up to you on the streets and said ‘Hey, want to be friends?’. I could’ve probably been an anime protag before I fell off the truck.

Especially because I was super dumb, god was I super dumb.

So yeah, Gal was a pariah and like Beamed he eventually kinda faded out and no one liked him. But he fucking stuck like GLUE to me, because I was super accepting and have always been super willing to talk to people.

Gal especially, liked to talk to me about Robots. Gal is actually how I learned about SRW. He imported that shit from Japan and like screencapped to me a shitload of shit about Z when it first came out, mostly about how fucking awesome Rand was and holy shit you like Masaki, look at ASAKIM. It was actually kind of cool.

Like god, I remember him super negatively because he WAS kind of annoying, but he’s why I love SRT and shit. I actually really remember being excited when he was going to run an SRT game, and then I ended up making kind of revere Calvina Coulage by mistake and it was kind of hillarious???

CHRIST, YEAH, he was an annoying shit but I think I really enjoyed being his friend. ‘Unbearable’ pfpfpf I sat through that shit for years, self. He was kind of annoying, but he was a good guy? way older than me, and clearly had his shit more together.

Like, I don’t think we stopped being friends because drama like I started this thinking we did? I eventually just got tired of talking to him.

I don’t super miss the guy, but actually he was a good friend. He was just... out of BTG, and at the time BTG had slowly became my life. Everyone I knew was there, and eventually that was all I had.

...it was kind of sad, honestly. I spent hours on the computer- till dawn sometimes, just doing that with those guys.

Gal was the sole exception for a pretty long time.

I think my most vivid memory besides all the super robots was when I asked him what he thought I looked like? Keep in mind at the time I had massive body image issues. I still kinda do.

He said he thought I was probably like my avatar, an anime dude.

...it cheered me up a lot, at the time. Fueled my egotism and desire to never reveal myself to anyone online, but man.

He was a good guy, Gal. Fuck what anyone else said.

#Chaore's Tragic Backstory #Part 6: Gal.

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chaoticspacefam · 4 years

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OC Inspirations Tag

Another really cool, new meme tag by @swtorpadawan which I’ve been tagged to start off, thank you! :D I shall tag (if you want to, no pressure as always!) @sleepswithvillains , @mercurypilgrim , @darth-bagel and @a-muirehen I think we all know who I’m gonna start with, right? XD (no-one should be shocked by now, she basically owns this blog pfpfpf) Also Saarai was the first one I could pinpoint a definite three characters for so there’s that 😬 I do have some ideas for other characters tho so if I get tagged again I will have other answers at the ready by then hopefully :P

I’m gonna put it under a cut cause tis a big post with gifs and I don’t wanna lag anyone’s feed!

What three fictional characters is your OC a combination of?

This doesn't apply to every OC - not even mine - but its certainly true for a few : Many of our characters are, to an extent, inspired by characters we see in movies, books, games, TV shows, etc.

Does this apply to any of your OCs? Was it a conscious decision on your part or not? Is your OC a combination of three (or more) fictional characters?

If so - post some GIFs / pics and tell us about them! What does your OC draw from other characters?

SAARAI AHASZAAI

⁽ˢᵃᵃʳᵃⁱ﹕ ˢᵉʳⁱᵒᵘˢˡʸ ᵉˡᵛᵉⁿ ᶜᵃⁿ’ᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ᵍᵒ ᵇᵘᵍ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵒⁿᵉ ᵉˡˢᵉ ᶠᵒʳ ᵒⁿᶜᵉ﹖﹗ ᵐᵉ﹕ ⁿᵒ 💖⁾

Beatrice Kiddo/The Bride - Kill Bill

A fair bit of Saarai and Ty’s relationship is inspired by Beatrice and BB’s relationship, as well as the way the film(s) ultimately end with Bill’s death (though in Saarai’s case there’s enough difference in how things start and play out to say it’s not identical, but I definitely drew on this film a lot when thinking of them, they’re 18+ and very bloody (I mean they’re Tarantino films so LOL) but they’ve been among my favourites ever since I first watched them!). Much like The Bride, Saarai is a single mother who wants to make sure her child is allowed to grow up without the influence of a toxic father, as well as a mother that would do anything at the end of the day - even kill - if it means keeping her baby safe.

Katniss Everdeen - The Hunger Games

Saarai and Ni’kasi (though they are twins/the same age), have the same close bond that Katniss has with her sister Prim. As Katniss was a reluctant leader elected by her friends and others of the Rebellion against President Snow, the same is true of Saarai being thrust into a position of leadership in the Alliance. She never wanted to be the leader, but given that she had much of the charisma that others like Aria and even Vano to an extent lacked, a good portion of leading the Alliance fell onto Saarai regardless. I am also kinda tempted to do some sort of little reference/crossover drawing of the whole “if we burn, you burn with us!” thing because I can totally see her throwing that kinda speech at both Valkorion and Arcann :’DD

Eowyn - Lord of the Rings

There’s not as much to say about Eowyn that doesn’t already overlap with the previous two ladies, so this one will be shorter (sorry!) but Saarai is equally as skilled in lightsaber combat as Eowyn is with her sword. And lastly, I like to think a little bit of that “I don’t need no man to save me” probably came from Eowyn too!

#swtor #star wars: the old republic #tagged meme #swtor OCs #swtor oc: saarai ahaszaai #sith pureblood #sith warrior #swtor OC inspirations #i'm not gonna tag the other fandoms cause it's not *really* content for them #and i don't wanna flood their tags with irrelevant stuff so #owo

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