#i was going to share this on my moot blog but i think lots of people may need to hear this
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Might be a good watch for some
#i was going to share this on my moot blog but i think lots of people may need to hear this#the way this was a big callout to me#he makes it sound a little silly but wow its so true#anyways i just think this guy has some great points#ocean of orbis#Youtube
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Sex On Fire, Part 1 | Pairing Firefighter!Joel Miller X Fem!Reader
Series Summary: You're a country girl in the big city, thanks to your generous aunt. You expected to have adventures your first year in New York, but what you didn't expect was for your hot, firefighter neighbor, Joel, to be part of them.
Part 1 Summary: You move to New York, after a little coaxing from your aunt. You meet your new neighbor, Joel, and quickly learn he's a Captain with the NYFD and good with his hands.
Rating: 18+ Minors DNI
Word Count: ~6.7K
Warnings: Sexual tension, sexual tension, sexual tension. This one is dripping in it. No age gap specified. No explicit smut (yet, there's uh...gonna be a lot in part 2), but a nice lead up to it in the end that will probably blue ball you. Groping. Alcohol. Hardcore flirting. Fleetwood Mac, The Rolling Stones, and Kings of Leon song references. Uniform kink. Joel has a hard on for seeing reader in his shirt. Reader's mom has passed. Texas/small town vibes. New York City. There are no specific descriptors for reader, except that she has hair. Ya'll, these two are just down for each other so fucking bad it's not even funny.
Authors Note: This one is for my darling moot @darkheartgatita. Pia, thanks for putting Firefighter!Joel into my brain. I hope you enjoy. As always, thank you to my Slutty, Smutty, Sister @sydneyinacoma who inspires me every day and shares her filthy thoughts on the reg. And to everyone who gives my little blog love -- I fucking love you all so much. Part 2, Fall and Winter, will drop next Saturday.
Masterlist | Read on AO3 | Notifications
Part 2 | Part 3 Preview | Part 3
S P R I N G
Spring blooms, bringing with it a new beginning for you. Of all the places you’d thought you would be, New York was not one of them.
Life back in Texas wasn't terrible, a bit dull sometimes, but not awful.
Yet, in the mundane moments, your mind often drifted to daydreams – visions of swapping your Levi's for a sleek black dress and trading quiet farmland for the lively hum of city bars. You’d think of Samantha from Sex and the City sitting on your porch at sunset, drinking Bud Light, wishing your fairy godmother would appear and magically turn it into a dry Martini.
That was until three weeks ago, when your rich aunt, visiting from New York, decided to sprinkle a bit of magic into your life.
“I’m gonna move to Italy for a while,” she casually said over family dinner as if she was just announcing that she was going to the store for milk. You should have been surprised, but she’s always been the kind to never stick around for too long. Single and child-free, she’s spent her adult life dancing to her free-spirited rhythm, bouncing around from one place to the next. Not because she had to, but because she could.
You, on the other hand, were the total opposite. After your mom passed away, leaving the cocoon of the familiar felt like too much. Despite your aunt's protests and encouragement to just go, you resisted, not wanting to leave behind your dad and the comfortable life you'd known. But if there's one thing you've learned about your aunt, it's that she's relentless – and yanking you out of your comfort zone was precisely what she wanted, and she had just the plan to do it.
She handed you the keys to her Lower East Side apartment, turning your once silly little daydreams into a reality. “Sweetie, you need this – you’re meant for so much more, your dad will be fine. Please go,” she encouraged.
Despite your initial reluctance, you caved, and before you knew it, you were on a plane bound for JFK.
++++
You feel like a small fish in a big pond as you navigate the city. Trying to figure out the subway turns into a whole saga of you getting lost more than once. You eventually find the right borough, but not without a fair share of unhelpful people brushing you off along the way. Yep, you're definitely not in Texas anymore.
While walking through the city, it hits you that a new pair of shoes is in order; something made clear to you by the little blister on the back of your heel that’s screaming at you. Despite the annoyance, you’re enjoying the walk to the apartment, your new home. The city's buzzing with life, and even the faint smell of urine in the air doesn't bother you. It's a wild, trippy feeling to be in the city, to feel like the main character of your own story.
You grab your phone, itching to double-check the building your aunt texted and ensure you have the right address. Remembering her advice about the unassuming exterior but spectacular view, you get ready for the big reveal. The key affixed to a keychain with a little apple on it meets the lock, and as you turn it, the door swings open, revealing a spacious wooden staircase.
As you step inside, you notice there's a bit of mail scattered on the slightly dusty floor. You collect the envelopes and magazines with your aunt's name on them and neatly stack the other pieces for Joel Miller into a pile on the bottom step.
After climbing the – Jesus, really fucking narrow – stairs, you're faced with doors opposite each other. While a brief doubt nudges you to recheck the apartment number, your gut tells you that the door with the welcome mat showing lemons and a pot of fake flowers is the one — a stark difference from its neighbor with a simple grey mat and no decor. Trusting your instincts, you decide that the lively entrance is the one.
As you step inside, you're greeted by a cozy space that, despite its age, radiates warmth and character. The walls are adorned with paintings that seem to tell stories of bygone eras, while rays of sunlight filter through the window, revealing glimpses of the bustling cityscape below.
Though small, the apartment is meticulously decorated, each corner telling a tale of adventures and cultural escapades. Remnants of your aunt’s travels, collected with care, add a touch of global flair to the modest space. Posters from Broadway plays hang proudly on the walls, as do family pictures. It’s lived-in; the kind of lived-in that feels comfy and embraces you like a warm hug.
You look at the frames on the wall and pause when you see one of your favorites – a photo of you as a little girl, smushed between your mom and your aunt, a cake three sizes bigger than your tiny head lit up with birthday candles in front of you. You can't help but trace the edges of the frame with your fingertips, connecting with the warmth radiating from your mother's beaming smile. Miss you, mom escapes your lips as your eyes linger on the photograph for a heartbeat longer before the rest of the room demands your attention.
In the compact kitchen, a handwritten note from your aunt beckons, strategically placed beside a bottle of wine on top of a stack of takeout menus. Her words resonate with warmth and encouragement. "Welcome to your new home! I am so proud of you for taking me up on my offer. Disregard the bedroom chaos—I started painting the walls but didn't quite finish before taking off. Feel free to pick up where I left off if the mood strikes. And if you ever need a hand with anything, Joel Miller across the way is a nice guy. I've already told him that you’ll be staying for a while, or who knows, maybe forever. Love you!" The paper carries the unmistakable fragrance of her perfume, and a smile graces your face after you finish reading it.
Setting the heartfelt note aside, your attention shifts to the menu for Sang Garden, a vibrant pink post-it exclaiming, "Right down the street! Super yummy!" Hunger gnaws at your stomach; the last meal was a distant memory from this morning, and you're ravenous. Without hesitation, you dial the number on the menu, your choice a steadfast favorite: orange chicken. “10 minutes,” the older lady on the phone tells you, not bothering to say goodbye before hanging up. Huh, efficient, you think.
As the aroma of anticipation fills the air, you finish unpacking your suitcase and weave through your new space until your food is ready. Only having to go down a flight of stairs and less than a block down the street to pick it up is a new feeling for you. If you wanted something like this at home you’d have to drive at least 20 minutes to pick it up.
You finish the entirety of the meal within minutes curled up on the couch, Sex and the City on the T.V.. Your aunt was right, it’s good. Probably the best orange chicken you’ve ever had in your entire life; just the right amount of zest and sweetness. You can already tell you’ll be a regular. Everyone always talks about the pizza in New York, but nobody bothered to tell you about the Chinese. You can tell you’ll probably have a lot of moments like that, discovering new things for yourself instead of hearing about it from magazines or seeing the photos on Instagram.
With your belly now full of the sticky goodness, you settle into bed for the night. You stare at the ceiling, paying no mind to the smile that’s been plastered on your face for the past three hours. You feel giddy, like a little girl seeing the stars for the first time. You’re doing it. You’re really doing it.
The city is still thrumming to life, but the distant sound of sirens and honks eventually turns to white noise as you drift off to sleep.
++++
The next morning, you rise with purpose; new life breathed into you. You brew a cup of coffee and decide to savor it on the fire escape, enjoying the not-yet-thick spring, and still slightly chilly, spring air. As the city stirs awake beneath you, you’re determined to craft an agenda for the day. With another few days to spare before your new job starts, your thoughts drift to the bedroom, where the abandoned paint cans await.
It's been a while since you've had the chance to dive into something genuinely productive, or creative for that matter, and you decide that this is the perfect opportunity. Your aunt chose a deep, rich shade of green, one that harmonizes seamlessly with the space; not too dark, but not puke or pea green, either. It’s pretty. She always has had good taste.
And while you like the color, it’s not particularly one you’d like to see splattered all over your clothing, having only brought what you could fit into a small suitcase. Your aunt must have something, you think. The woman has more clothes than a department store and there is no way she could have brought them all to Italy, although you don’t put it past her to try.
You make your way to the guest bedroom and rummage through the dresser located there. The top drawer is full of nothing but scrapbooks, the middle drawer has only sweaters, but luck strikes in the bottom drawer, where you locate a handful of old shirts.
You pull out a dark blue, oversized “New York Fire Department” cotton t-shirt; the front of it has an emblem, and the back says “Rescue 1 FDNY” in faded blocky white letters, obviously well-loved. This will do, you tell yourself, quickly exchanging your tiny crop top for the large shirt. It hangs over your body, the bottom nearly hitting your knees. Why your aunt has such a large shirt in her collection you’ll never know, but you wager it’s probably from one of her many “friends” over the years.
++++
The sounds of Fleetwood Mac's "Rumours" fill the room, you stand in the center of the bedroom, paintbrush in hand, ready to transform the space. The nostalgic chords of Stevie Nicks' voice in Dreams infuse the air, blending with the scent of fresh paint as you dip the brush into the can, and begin. “Like a heartbeat drives you mad,” you sing, slightly off-key, but no one is around to listen and you don’t mind. “Thunder only happens when it’s rainingggggg,” you belt, using the paintbrush as a microphone.
While most of the paint makes it on the walls, you have to admit that painting isn’t your strong suit and a fair amount of it has splashed back onto your face, shirt, and even your hair. You’re having fun, more fun than you’ve had in a while, even if you make a mess while doing it. Not like you’re gonna see anyone today anyway.
“Players only love you when they’re plaaaaaying…” doing your best Stevie twirl.
More and more green covers the walls, but as you’re about to get started on the final white wall, you’re interrupted by a loud steady stream of knocks at your door.
You hit pause on the music, and make your way to the door, unsure of who would possibly be knocking. You peer through the peephole to take a look, but you can only see the back of a man in a simple white shirt, his back turned to face away from the door. You undo the chain lock and swing the door open.
As the man pivots to meet your gaze, his presence sweeps over you, an unexpected force that leaves you momentarily disarmed. He’s handsome in a way that unmoors you; a mass of a man with broad shoulders, sun-kissed skin, and sculpted biceps that redefine your sense of composure. Whoa.
“Hi,” you murmur, your eyes conveying a blend of softness and curiosity, "Can I help you?"
The man looks at you, and you feel yourself heat under the attention of his gaze. His eyes gently caress your frame; lingering a little too long on the emblem sewn into the fabric, just above your breast.
"Uh," he clears his throat, his hand rising to his face, fingers subtly grazing the beard hair on his cheek, as if grappling for words. "Yeah, well – no, uh," he stumbles, the words caught in a momentary struggle. "Hi, ‘m Joel Miller, I live across the way," he greets, angling his body to signal to the door directly across the foyer.
“Oh right, my aunt told me about you you,” you say, introducing yourself, voice smooth like honey. “She mentioned you were a nice guy and to call you if I ever needed anything,” you say, taking up space in front of him by leaning into the door. “Just stopping by to say hi, then? Or do you need a cup of sugar or something like that?” you ask with a playful tone.
Suddenly, the last thing he wants to do is admit that there's something you could help him with—like turning down your music. He likes Fleetwood Mac as much as the next guy, but the last three days on shift have left him craving peace, not a soundtrack reverberating through the thin walls.
Plus, he wasn’t expecting you to be so damn attractive.
And he definitely wasn’t expecting to be wearing his shirt when you answered the door.
“Ha, no, don’t need any sugar,” he chuckles, “just thought I’d make myself known.” He pauses, eyes locked onto yours. You notice the subtle flecks of amber in his deep brown eyes and the furrow of his brow. He’s painfully handsome. Just as you’re about to say something, he breaks the silence first, “But I'll let you get back to whatever it is you’re doin’...you look busy,” he tilts his chin to the paint that’s splotched over your bare legs. You can tell he’s looking for the story behind the mess.
His left hand leaves his pocket and he places it on the doorframe. He leans into it, and your eyes catch the firmness of his bicep flexing under the strain of his lean before meeting his face once more.
“Cute shirt, by the way” he says, his voice low and even.
“Oh thanks, you like it?” you ask, pulling the fabric out in a tent from the center, noticing the little splatters of paint as you do. “It’s my aunt’s, I just borrowed it while I finish up some painting.”
“Yeah, I have the same one,” he adds, “looks a helluva lot better on you than it does me, though,” a little laugh leaves his chest and his cheeks flush, a little embarrassed that he just said that. Fuck, it’s been so long since he’s tried to flirt with a woman.
Your skin prickles with heat, and you’re suddenly very self-aware of what a wreck you must look like, but you decide to be bold anyway. “Maybe we’ll have to compare sometime,” you playfully retort.
“Yeah, maybe we will,” he responds, looking you up and down, hoping the meaning behind his words isn’t too obvious.
“Well if ya ever need anything, ‘m just across the way,” he says, dropping his hand from the doorframe, hitting his thigh with a slight sound of a pat. “Nice to meet ya, Darlin’,” he says. You don’t miss the way his eyes flicker down to your chest once more, your stiff nipples now peeking through the fabric. He turns on his heels and turns his back to walk back to his apartment.
“Nice to meet you, Joel,” you purr. His head peers over his shoulder back at you, and the corners of his lips turn up in a little smirk.
Oh god.
You’re so fucked.
++++
Later that night, you text your aunt that you just met Joel Miller. You curse her for not telling you how incredibly hot he is. You also tell her that you decided to finish the painting, sending a selfie of you in front of the freshly updated walls with the message. You also add that you borrowed one of her shirts and that you’ll do your best to get the paint out of it.
Her response causes your breath to hitch in your throat, and your stomach swirls into a tight knot.
“The walls look amazing! Oh and by the way, that’s not my shirt, it’s Joel’s. I must have forgotten to give it back to him; the shared laundry downstairs sometimes causes mix-ups. Be a doll and give it back to him, will ya? Oh and quarters for the machines are in the clay pot next to the door.”
Fuck. Of course you would answer the door to your incredibly hot neighbor, covered in paint, in his shirt. You shake your head in embarrassment.
You look down at the shirt and notice just how much paint is all over it. You strip it from your body, bring it over to the sink, and begin to scrub the paint out of it with dish soap. As you watch the paint fade into the warm water, you notice the tag on the inside of the shirt and the rank inscribed in permanent marker on it.
Your fingers prune in the water, but you eventually get all of the paint out of the fabric. Satisfied with your cleaning job, you hang it up to dry and scribble out a note.
The following morning, on your way out to explore the city, you leave it neatly folded on Joel’s doorstep. You don’t bother to knock, you’re certain you might combust from embarrassment if you did.
Shortly after, on his way to work, Joel opens the door and notices the shirt by his boot, a little envelope placed on top of it.
“You could have told me it was your shirt, Captain Miller.”
Joel smirks. The cat’s out of the bag on that little secret then. He places it inside and lets out a little sigh. The image of your perky nipples, exposed legs, and messy paint-riddled hair flashes in his brain.
God, he wishes you would have kept it.
S U M M E R
As spring transitions into summer, the city experiences a gradual warming trend. Cherry blossoms and tulips from spring slowly give way to vibrant green foliage. Parks become lively with people enjoying the pleasant weather, and outdoor events become more frequent. The temperature rises, and there's a noticeable shift towards a warmer atmosphere with longer days.
It’s a shift you also feel in yourself, having found your niche, carving out your place in the ecosystem of the city. You’ve gradually adjusted, figured out how to successfully navigate the complexities of the subway system, and are starting to rely less and less on Google Maps to get around. You frequent a bodega around the corner from you, know where to find a decent bagel, and are a recognizable regular at Sang Garden.
Your new job keeps you busy. It’s tough work being a bartender in the city, but it’s granted you more than one opportunity to meet people from all walks of life, people you’d never get the opportunity to meet back in your hometown.
People like the gregarious and charismatic trader, who’s more than happy to make it clear he works in the financial district, even when nobody asks. People like the countless young professionals unwinding after a long day with their colleagues; some with sexual tension so obvious you can taste it. Designers. Architects. Engineers. Writers. Musicians. Actors. You don’t like them all, but you don’t have to, you’ll never see most of them more than once anyway.
You quickly learn the art of making a good martini, one you think would make Samantha proud. It’s all so posh. So far from your usual. But the money is good, and without having to pay rent – a luxury you now realize; having almost fainted when your coworker told you how much he pays in rent – it allows you to pocket most of it.
Your first few months in New York have been good, although a tad lonely. Making friends was never really a strong suit of yours, and you’re finding the city to be a particularly hard place to get to know people in any real way. Most of your free time is spent curled up with a good book or watching Friends for the millionth time, wishing Central Perk was a real place.
You see Joel in passing now and then, the in-between times when he’s coming home from work, and you’re just leaving for yours. Sometimes you pass each other on the stairs, and you have to angle your bodies side-to-side just to fit on the narrow stairs as you navigate around one another. You sometimes have to collect your composure when you leave for work and notice the faint smell of his cologne still in the hallway, it smells so good it makes you dizzy.
You find excuses to talk to him every now and then – a squeaky fire detector, to hand him his mail, or even for a stupid cup of sugar. Every time you find yourself knocking on his door, the butterflies congregate in masses as if preparing to migrate. You feel like a school girl with a crush for the first time, but as far as you can tell, Joel doesn’t feel the same, and you’re okay with that. At least that’s what you try to tell yourself.
The exchanges are always short; little blips in the grand scene of time, but that doesn’t stop you from feeling like you might faint under the intensity of his scorching gaze. Which doesn’t help, considering it’s already sweltering outside.
You severely underestimated how hot summer would be. Of course, you’re used to the oppressive Texas sun, but something about the way the buildings and concrete reflect the rays makes it feel like New York is at least 10x hotter.
The temperature in your apartment isn’t much better than outside. The air hangs heavy inside as you lay on your mattress, clad in only a bra and underwear, on crisp white sheets, attempting to cool yourself with a damp towel on your forehead. You listen to the feeble hum of the wall crying out for help.
As luck would have it, the overworked unit decides to give in to the heat. Beads of sweat form on your forehead as you attempt to fix it, but it’s pointless. You stare at the lifeless unit, realizing that the city’s relentless heat has claimed it as a victim. Time for a new one.
Once the sun dips past the skyline, you venture out to your local hardware store to grab a new one. You wish you would have had some forethought to bring a cart or something, not thinking about the fact that you were going to have to carry the heavy unit eight city blocks. Coulda, shoulda, woulda, you think to yourself.
Once back to your apartment, you balance the quirky box on your hip, holding it steady with one arm as you fumble to grab the key from your purse outside the entrance of the building. Your cheeks are warm, you’re drenched in sweat even at this hour, and your hair is starting to stick to the nape of your neck. You manage to grab it, but inadvertently drop it, your fingers clammy.
“Shit,” you mutter, frustrated and hot.
“Need some help there, Darlin’?” Joel asks, making his way up the stoop. You turn to face him and oh.
Of all the times you’ve seen Joel, you’ve never seen him in uniform. The sight catches you off guard. His crisp, navy blue uniform emphasizes his broad shoulders and neatly tucked shirt, the shiny FDNY badge on his chest. He flashes a charming smile, revealing a hint of dimples, as he picks up your fallen key with ease. You’re not sure how he always manages to look so put together, a stark contrast to the way you always seem to look in front of him.
"Rough day?" he asks, unlocking the door, and for a moment, you forget the oppressive heat, captivated by his charm. “Here, lemme take that for you,” he offers, and you kindly accept. You shift the box out of your arms into his, and your stomach swoops when you watch the way his biceps flex as he grabs the unit with ease.
Grateful for the assistance, you offer a sheepish smile, “Yeah, you could say that” you reply, opening the door, holding it open for him. He begins to ascend the staircase ahead of you, giving you a full view of his ass in his uniform pants; it’s toned, and his thick thighs match. You walk behind him, trying to ignore the stickiness that’s beginning to pool in your underwear. You allow yourself to perv out for a moment, at least while his back is to you. He’s just helping you out, stop being weird.
Joel waits at the top of the steps for you to open your door. Once unlocked, you enter and he follows behind you. “Oh shit, it’s hotter than hell in here,” he says once inside, the irony is not lost on you that a literal man who fights fires for a living thinks it’s hotter than hell. He bends to place the box down near the front door and rises to full height, bringing both hands to his hips. You notice the little sheen of sweat that has now collected on his thick neck, fighting the impulse to lap up the perspiration.
“You’re telling me, I’m rendering lard,” you say, letting your Southern roots shine through. You cringe a little at yourself, watering your accent down to not stick out as much, but you’re reminded of the age-old saying you can take the girl out of the country…
You wipe the back of your hand on your forehead to push away the sweat that’s been collecting there all day and look at him. “Thanks for the help carrying it up,” you say, offering him a kind smile.
“No problem at all, need some help installing it? These units can be tricky,” he asks, trying his best to ignore the fact that your white shirt has gone see-through from your sweat, allowing him a perfect view of your breasts. No bra again, he notes. He shifts his stance a little, trying to prevent his cock from hardening at the sight.
“Are you sure?” you ask, a little unsure, but deep down you know you need the help. As much as you’d like to think of yourself as an independent and capable woman, you’ve never been one to be good with anything mechanical, and the heat has left your brain feeling like the static of a T.V. channel with no reception.
“Course. I’m a servant to public safety. Can’t have you accidentally pushing it out the window and crushing a person below, it’d be a lot of paperwork” he chuckles and takes out a knife from his pocket to undo the tape on the box. It’s an ordinary act, yet somehow you’re mesmerized by his dexterity and competency.
Midway through the process, Joel pauses, feeling the heat, and glances at you with a lighthearted grin. “Mind if I take this off?” he asks, tugging at the collar of the uniform shirt.
You nod, suddenly feeling warmer than before. “Sure, go ahead.”
His large fingers fumble with the buttons on the shirt, eventually revealing a white tank top underneath. The fabric clings to him, highlighting his defined chest, and a little bit of belly. You practically drool at the sight, once again resisting an impulse to want to sink your flesh into the softness above his belt.
He has an awful farmer's tan, but he wears it well; his forearms are a nice shade of golden and his shoulders are pale. You see from the lack of collar on the tank that he has a bare chest. He throws the uniform shirt onto a nearby chair and goes back to work installing the unit. You watch as he works to position it in the window, stealing glances at his glistening skin as he does. You think you’re being sly about it, but Joel can tell, he can feel your eyes heavy like bowling balls on him.
“So, how long have you been a firefighter?” you ask.
“About 15 years,” he responds. “Sorta always knew I wanted to do it, I was a contractor for a while, but wasn’t my thing.”
“Oh no? You seem like you’re pretty good with your hands,” you reply, your words suggestive.
“Never said I wasn’t, Darlin,’” he replies, shooting you a wink.
He plugs the unit in, and the screen comes to life. He sets the temperature as low as it will go, and the fan on high; the unit is about to put in overtime to make the air tolerable again.
“Well, that should do it,” straightening back up from his bent-over position, clapping his hands together as if to dust the task off.
“Probably gonna take a while for it to cool down in here. You’re uh, more than welcome to hang out at mine for the time being. Don’t need you overheating on me,” trying to mask his excitement at you being in his space by carding his fingers through his salt and pepper curls.
You glance at the unit, and you can tell he’s right. “Alright, why not,” you say, offering him a smile. “Just gonna use the restroom fast,” you say, looking for an excuse to make yourself at least somewhat presentable and confirm that you don’t smell like a sweaty subway car.
Inspecting yourself in the harsh, exposing light of the bathroom, you grimace at your appearance. Not that you’d been expecting to look your best, but still. You pat the extra moisture off your skin with a clean towel, when you notice that nipples are straining against the fabric of your wet t-shirt, leaving nothing to the imagination. You briefly consider changing shirts, but the cheeky side of you decides to leave it be. You give yourself a quick smile and internal encouragement in the mirror and you step out of the bathroom.
Joel waits in the foyer by the door for you, taking the opportunity to learn a little more about you, drinking in the details of your space for any glimmers of insight it might give him about your life.
He’s been in the space before, but it’s different this time – updated. It still has many of the same things your aunt had put up, but you’ve added new additions to the walls; photos of you with friends, and family, and vinyl covers in frames. His eyes gravitate to a photo of you at your college graduation; your smile ear to ear, a bottle of champagne in your hands. You always seem happy. He likes that about you. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t look for a photo of you with another guy, a hint that you might already be taken, but he’s relieved when he doesn’t find one.
The bathroom door opens with a soft creak, and you stroll out, shooting him a casual but confident smile. As you do, you casually tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, giving off an easygoing vibe. It's a simple move, but there's a certain charm to it that doesn't go unnoticed by Joel.
“Ready?” you ask, and he clears his throat, trying to hide his pleasure that you opted not to change your still slightly transparent shirt.
“Let’s get outta here,” he says, yanking on the handle, the door groans and opens with a loud creak. “Don’t wanna hit traffic.” Oh god, that’s a dad joke if you’ve ever heard one. You try to hide the stupid smile that graces your face, but Joel sees it, and matches it. Your shoulder brushes against his chest as you walk through the door, and Joel straightens in response, a little tingle shooting up his spine from the brief touch. Get a fucking grip, Miller, he thinks to himself, pulling the door closed behind him.
++++
Once inside his apartment, you gasp. It’s not at all what you expected.
If his front doorstep was any indication, you expected his apartment to be full of Ikea furniture, bare walls, and maybe a fake plant in the corner somewhere. You’re pleasantly surprised when you find that it’s the exact opposite; you feel like you’ve just wanted into some swanky bar. The air smells like palo santo, but above all, it’s cool. You let out a sigh of relief.
“Can I get you a beer” he asks, and you nod your head in response. He walks into the kitchen, and you’re mesmerized by his space. It’s a similar layout to your apartment, but somehow it feels bigger, even a tad cozier, plus he has exposed brick, a detail you wish your apartment had.
“Your apartment is amazing,” you tell him, spinning around to get a full 360 view of the space. You hear him yell something like thanks from the kitchen.
You find your seat on the cognac-colored couch and run your hand up and down the texture of it. The leather is cool on your skin, and your body temperature slowly begins to return to normal.
Joel returns from the kitchen, and hands you a Bud Light. And for once, you don’t wish for it to turn into a martini. Now having spent a few months in the city, you’re starting to realize that you’re more of a bud girl than a cocktail girl, and that fairy godmothers are a tad overrated.
You’re not sure when he did it, but your ear tunes to the classic sound of Beast of Burden by the Rolling Stones playing in the background at a low volume, adding a funk you adore to the moment.
He finds a seat on the couch next to you and throws his arm behind you on the ledge. He crosses his legs over one another, and you squirm, not out of discomfort, but nerves.
“I am impressed with your apartment, it’s well decorated,” you compliment him, bringing the bottle of beer to your lips.
“Had a bit of help, ‘f I’m being honest,” he replies. Your stomach flips.
“Oh?” you say, a bit breathless, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Of course, he would have a girlfriend. You see it plain as day now, the feminine touches built into the apartment, hanging on the walls in plain sight, taunting you with the obvious. He even has like ten live plants for fucks sake. Joel Miller is taken.
“My daughter, Sarah,” he replies, bringing the beer to his mouth for another swig. You try not to make your sigh of relief too obvious. “Oh!” you squeak and turn your body to face him. You don’t know if you’ve scooted closer or if he did, but your thighs are now touching.
“She’s studying interior design. Begged me this past year to let her fix up my apartment, and well…I didn’t have the heart ta say no,” he replies. “Said my apartment resembled a frat boys bachelor pad,” he lets out a gruff little chuckle and you smile at him.
His arm drifts close to you, his hand nearly touching your shoulder. It’s not quite there, but you can feel the heat, the electricity, his fingertips shoot to your skin. So much for cooling down.
“Well, if you didn’t decorate the space, what’s your favorite part about it then?” you ask, taking another swig at the bottle. Joel stares at your lips as they latch around the glass, admiring how plush and warm they look. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t wonder what they might look like around his cock.
“Ah, good question,” he says, bringing his hand to cover his crotch with the bottle, all while subtly trying to adjust himself from his previous thought. He’s surprised he even heard your question at all.
“Probably the table over there,” he says, nodding his head back to signal to the dining room.
“Made it myself,” he says, a bit of pride in his voice.
You crane your neck to look, but can’t get a good view with how plush the cushions are. You slightly angle your body upwards, coming onto your knee on the couch to look, bringing your chest closer to Joel’s face.
“Well I’ll be damned, you really must be good with your hands,” you playfully tease, letting your body sink by his side once more, feeling the warmth he exudes. Your words cause his gaze to go dark. “Mhmm,” he murmurs, taking another sip of his beer, sure if he said any more he might regret it.
You notice the music switches to Kings of Leon, a favorite tune of yours echoing through the air. “Oh shit, I love this song,” you exclaim, barely able to contain your excitement, much to Joel’s delight.
“Yeaaaaaah, your sex is on fireeeee,” you belt, and you inadvertently tilt your beer bottle a little too far down in the process of your solo, and a splash of beer pours out onto Joel’s lap. The action abruptly causes you to stop.
“Ah, I’m so sorry,” you apologize profusely, setting the nearly empty bottle on the coffee table in front of you, noticing the box of tissues as you do.
“Don’t worry about it, Darlin’,” he says, voice mellow, placing his beer on the table, too.
You frantically grab a handful of tissues and bring them over to the wet spot pooling on Joel’s crotch. “Here, let me,” you say, dabbing at the liquid, the realization not fully hitting you that your hands are literally on his crotch until – oh.
Joel’s been walking the fine line of a stiff one all night, and your simple gesture throws him over the edge, the dabbing causing blood to rush to his cock.
You continue to blot at the liquid and notice him stiffening underneath you. A heavy rush of arousal courses through you, and heats your core. Joel’s hand darts to grab your wrist, the size of it completely swallowing up your entirety of it, his fingers wrapped around it, and you’re certain he feels your pulse quicken under his touch.
You look up at him with big doe eyes, only to find his own pupils are blown open wide with lust, his jaw tense. His other hand finds the side of your face, and he holds you up to look at him. You both pause there, letting the tension of the moment swallow you whole. He looks at you like you're a juicy summer peach, ripe for the picking.
His grip on your wrist softens, and you flatten your hand to palm at his growing bulge. Joel lets out a deep groan in response to the full contact. “Shit darlin’,” he says, voice wrecked. His hand drifts to the column of your neck, and he begins to pull you up so you’re face-to-face with him.
The anticipation builds, and just as your lips are about to meet, a sudden shrill sound shatters the moment – the fire alarm.
“Fuck.” Joel groans.
TO BE CONTINUED - READ PART 2
Tagging moots and those who I think might like this: @endlessthxxghts @theoasisofthings @bastardmandennis @untamedheart81@lavema @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @dugiioh @nervoushottee @milly-louise @ghostwritesthings@josephquinnswhore @drunk-and-capable @peachmy @survivingandenduring@darkheartgatita @hotgirlbedtimescenarios @dins-riduur-anthe @ohheypedrito @joeldjarin @nerdieforpedro
As always, feel free to let me know if you'd like to be added to my tag list, or removed (even if we're moots, no hard feelings). Might transition to a notifs blog soon.xx
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller smut#joel miller fanfic#joel miller x you#joel miller fluff#joel miller#pedro pascal character#pedrohub#pedro pascal#new york#firefighter smut#pedro stories
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⋆༺♱༻⋆ Leah’s 200 followers event!
inspired by @hopelesslyromanticshark n @cinemaconrad
⋆ So, uhm… how can i start this? I just need to thank you. All of you, like big time. It was always my dream to write shit and share with the world, and maybe i’ll try and follow it. But this, right here, made my love for writing stronger than it already was, and i just HAVE to thank each and every one of you who was here all the fucking time. A special shoutout to Covey and Arya (who’s not my moot but go to her blog she’s amazing), cause she inspired me to start the whole blog. To Cynthia, Eden, May and the other people (@somewhereincairparavel and @pinkdiorluvr) for supporting me. And obvi thanks to everyone else, but these people deserved a special appreciation. Anyways, thank you!!!
- WE KEEP THIS LOVE IN A PHOTOGRAPH
here are the mood boards! you can ask one about a work of mine, a character (pjo/hoo/harry potter/chronicles of narnia) or a couple/ship!
- YOU AND ME, GOT A WHOLE LOT OF HISTORY
blurbs! super super small tiny little blurbs about any pjo/hoo character, it can be familiar, platonic or romantic! go crazy with the characters!
- DON’T TAKE IT PERSONAL
send a little info of ur personality, can be super long or short, with things you like to do, favorite books, colors, etc. n i’ll give u a character u remind me off!
- WE DANCED ALL NIGHT, TO THE BEST SONG EVER
send me a letter and i’ll show you five to ten songs that remind me of you or i think you’d like (moots only!) (totally copied from eden)
- SHUT UP AND DANCE WITH ME
send a character, couple (between characters only), book, movie or series and i’ll make a small list of musics that i think match their vibe!
- MY LOVE IS MINE, ALL MINE
send a request and i’ll write a small letter, yapping about things that i like about you or that i think you deserve to hear! (moots only!)
⋆ Don’t forget the rules!
ONE request per ask
up to five asks a day
don’t be mean please 🙏🏻
event ends on June 10th
pls be patient i’m a busy woman kay
- TAGLIST (aka moots) 🎀
@hopelesslyromanticshark @cinemaconrad @sunshine-of-ur-life @somewhereincairparavel @jgracie @maybxlle @ebony-reine-vibes @sunnitheapollokid @queen-of-weird-girl-nation @pumpkinbxtch
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please for the love of god, read my rules before interacting/requesting.
𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒
do not steal/copy/repost/translate ANY of my works. plagiarism is not cool.
I write and interact with nsfw stuff so minors (-18) please don't interact with my blog. I am not responsible for anything you consume on the internet.
this blog contains dark content. if you are uncomfortable with that, I suggest you click off and don't attack me. just because I think something is hot in fiction, that does not mean I condone such acts in real life. fiction is not reality, keep that in mind.
be patient while requesting. I have a life outside of tumblr and this is not my first priority. please remember this is just my hobby, not a full time job and don't rush me/demand things from me because I will most likely ignore your ask if you do.
be nice. I write for fun, please remember that. writers don't owe you anything, and I'm not being paid to do this, so have decent manners while requesting
please refrain from trauma-dumping in my askbox. While I do love talking to you guys, please refrain from sending me extreme stuff. I understand if you are going through something, but I am a stranger on the internet, not your therapist.
any anon hate, threats or bullshit like that will be ignored or I'll most likely clown on you.
don't bring any drama in my askbox, especially not about other creators. this is a writing blog and we're just here to be horny and read stuff, not partake in any drama's.
absolutely no kind of discourse. but I will speak up if I sense some bs going 'round and esp if it involves my moots.
refrain from giving me criticism unless it is asked for.
be specific but not too specific please, like paragraphs after paragraphs. only a few sentences should suffice.
don’t spam like me. if i spot that someone’s spam liking my work without a single reblog, it’s a block. if I spot you liking 5+ posts without a single reblog, you'll get blocked. remember, likes don't share my work, reblogs do :)
if you're gonna send me fanart that doesn't belong to you, please please PLEASE credit the artist in the ask, or just don't send it at all.
please don’t spam my inbox. i receive lots of asks and i try to answer as many. sending me constant asks makes things harder for me and doesn't increase the chance of me responding to you. i’ll delete them or just ignore them to avoid spam.
𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐀 𝐌𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐋
if you wanna break mutuals then hard block me. if you soft block i'll most likely think it's a glitch and follow you again. please DON'T just unfollow and have me still following you.
please don't feel offended or attacked if i block you.
if you have a problem with me, don't be shy to dm me about it. don't subpost about me, because i WILL see it. let's handle shit like adults, yeah?
tba
Stuff I don't write ↓
amab/male reader + etc, pseudo/step-cest/incest, necro, vore, character x character, age regression, lolicon/shotacon, ddlg, foot fetish, bukkake, gang bangs, pedophilia, Mori, breast feeding, watersports, piss kink, domestic abuse, brainwashing, scat, cbt, food play, snowballing, race play, m-preg, knotting, bestiality, eating disorders, wound fucking, heavy bleeding, milf! reader, shock play, shoe licking, high school au! setting (nsfw), panty sniffing, sounding, race/color specified reader, oc's, SUKUNA, aging up minors etc. — these are subjected to change.
any confusions? don't be afraid to throw me an ask !
↪ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐒
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sooo this is gonna be a messy rant on the observations ive made between different writer communities, blog interactions and overall “status”. just silly little things I’ve noticed in my 4+ years being on tumblr btwn 2 diff blogs. and this is about no one specific, a very generalized post so if you find urself offended i honestly dont know what to tell you?? :o do better ig. & if you relate, i feel for you. TLDR @/end.
i dont like interacting/ building connections with people but not for the reasons ppl think. im not stuck up or pretentious or weird or anything. just another anime-enjoyer who loves to write in her free time. nobody special by a longshot!! i enjoy writing, always have since before i was a teen. (wasn’t always ff tho!).
but over the years ive just noticed fandom writing has its gritty sides that no one talks about often and its no mystery why so many prolific/ popular writers deactivated, me included. i had some shitty experiences and have seen friends go bc of it.
firstly, I’ve noticed, once you start interacting and building friendships with people, it’s easier to see the bigger perspective of where ppl stand and the blatant hierarchy of friendships and groups. same applies to that outside. like its literally just me n’ my bsf then my acquaintances bc mfs be weirddd omg its like cults or something. like thats why initially I didn’t interact w/anyone starting on my new blog. that n’ fear of drama following from my last blog ugh. ‘Cept the few i’ve met on my old blog (like my wifey)
not to mention i have bad anxiety. and sometimes im cue-deaf. i dont always pick up what people put down and vice versa and it makes me conscious in a lot of my interactions. so a part of me doesn’t want to interact at all to avoid all awkwardness and possible miscommunications. that’s not to say i don’t notice subtle changes in interactions after one situation / conversation or so forth, that in myself or witnessed between other ppl. (im perceptive, just not that good conversationalist lol. like i really have to try.)
but then…if you don’t interact with people on here, your chances of building an audience or a reader base is slim to none. the likelihood of developing relationships is zip. because you’re already perceived and pegged as just another tumblr writer. pause. to clarify, a writer who doesn’t want any recognition or interactions from mutuals or new friends. or just a lonely writer? a introverted, lonely writer. which leads to little to none interactions (anons, reblogs, moots —exposure.)
so then its like you’re kinda placed btwn a rock n a hard place. and there’s absolutely no problem with that! in fact this is the best part—meeting friends and like-minded people! people that make being online all the more worth it right? thirsting over fictional characters and sharing in each other’s works!
but you have to be in specific circles it seems. but then you can’t imply that you want to be in those circles bc then you’re desperate.
but well, then you cant purposefully want to be independent or be on your own or else you’re a hater, hypocrite or stuck up. not to mention, no one will reblog your stuff lol. no one will interact fr, and you’re friendless essentially. and god forbid if you disagree on something as if opinions don’t exist btw! then you’re being ganged up on. (like omg grow up!)
but then if you reach out you’re seen as trying to wedge in or kiss ass? you interact and follow and you’re ignored or left hanging? (bc im gonna touch your hand when i say this—it never gave fan, your majesty of horny nerds) and this is about ALL the writing communities and fandoms—spicy content, black content and dark content. ALL.
yet no one wants to talk about the pregnant elephant in the room—bias. and favoritism. also people seem to have a hard time being direct with how they’re feeling toward/about someone ( in a good or bad way) which in turn leads to a lot of miscommunication and subliminal attacks. (not to mention hate anons? one of my moots just had her inbox flooded w/them recently, ew.)
you can lead a horse to water AND you can write a 500-word essay on the observations made on tumblr writers as a whole. (a long ass post on the truth on behalf of those feeling this too)
also, slapping a HEY LOOK AT ME! IM A WRITER WHO WANTS INTERACTION AND FRIENDS! on a blog is frankly embarrassing. it shouldn’t even take all that seeing how easy it is for others wanting the same thing.
or doing less to achieve the same result.
not to mention, yall shit on ppl who essentially feel this way altogether bc you peg them as sb who doesn’t “try” or just jealous when their own works are phenomenally written themselves. ive seen it. and ive lived it. never gave jealousy baby.
at the end of the day, we’re all writers— either longterm or hobbyists. (personally, im longterm) self-indulgent or not! and its absolutely amazing when people are being fair in how they spread love and feedback to their writers.
Secondly, its not news that people have to want to reblog your fics so that their followers can reblog, so they can reblog, and their followers can reblog and so forth. but ppl honestly dont care atp bc once they’ve already read it, they owe you nothing. and apparently asking for reblogs is crass and bold. (imma do it anyway) but putting your very all into a story just to turn and see a half-thought out hc soaring 3k in 2hrs and 5k in a day — you have to stfu, open your ass and take it. keep it cute!
you’re getting fucked after all!!
because if you complain—you’re just jealous and lazy and uncreative!! and i hate that to seem like a writer worth a damn, you have to change up your writing style every two weeks to fit in with trending waves.
“no more poetic long fics, nobody’s into that! short, snappy slutty shots are all the rage!” “ppl are only into these specific tropes but you can’t exceed 2k words!” “only add trending characters to these hcs! ppl love them only!” “don’t write too much about a specific character or else ill unfollow you!” its exhausting.
i am well within my right as a literary artist to desire more feedback and interaction on anything i put out. period. and you are too! 🫵
God, im tired of that stupid, ‘you have to enjoy your writing for yourself and not worry about notes’ line. i do love my writing! don’t get me wrong there’s nobody id rather write like if not myself fr. not to mention the inspiration i draw from famous literary authors. however, i would love feedback and the same energy that i see with others in my same caliber.
and when i see others that didn’t even try fr—its a slap in the face to put it bluntly.
i can want silly little comments and notes about something i cherish and put out for that reason and yall aren’t gonna make me feel bad about it. sorry! like yall really be making people feel shitty for wanting the same type of interactions you get! especially when its harmless, bye asf. nb want to recipe to ur peach cobbler b!
the only one giving push back are those appointed popular /top blogs n’ cliques tho. now personally, i honestly dgaf if you have 20 followers or 25k, writing is writing and if its good you should want to support it regardless of following count/interaction right?
unfortunately, and quite unsurprisingly its not the case for the rest of this hellhole lol. there’s always gonna be some “big blog” in any part of tumblr or any social media for that matter.
but when the sole purpose being on a site like tumblr to write is mainly exposure, then it just makes it ten times worse especially if it seems that these blogs are steady at the top of every. single. tag. and listen, i know how initially stupid that sounds but when you’ve picked up on patterns for as long as i have, well iykyk.
so imma be real bc no one else will, half of the posts that yall see with 25k notes have alr been done. just different characters, different words, different dialogue. And 8/10 its been done by sb who only received 100 notes. Thats the evil part. whats more is that it lacks the creativity the one post with 100-300 notes is filled with completely.
POP QUIZ! what post would readers be more inclined to read? — one that says 10k (ohhh that must be popular!) or the one with only 150 (oh i guess nb really liked that one) that no one is even willing to reblog for MORE. and BOOM. now yall wonder why so many great writers LEAVE, its a fucking joke.
so unfortunately its no longer only about or only on readers anymore. its about who you know and who you know is willing to support your fr. who is willing to REBLOG your fics for their friends and followers, so that their friends and followers can reblog. to fit in you actually have to get in these days and it makes it all less enjoyable. makes it a chore and if you aren’t ‘doing it right’ ultimately it makes you feel shitty about your writing. (Please don’t, you are doing amazing. its the platform.)
it makes people not want to jump into writing. it pushes away those who actually want to join writing communities and meet people without feeling like they have to jump thru hoops to thrive or worse—live in other ppls shadows. and then it deters those from speaking up in fear of being shut down by bigger groups. ive seen it happen time and time again.
lastly, and this is the juiciest part! you absolutely cannot say anything about any of this bc you’re complaining and a fisher just looking for attention and not someone who just want things to be fair all over. play the game, right? ( wrong. and if this is your logic, you suck! )
its no longer about making flashy banners and pretty themes. its no longer about how many clever directory links you add or how many games you initiate on your blog or whether or not you’ve reblogged your fic three times already. its about your “friends”, other mutuals, and blogs willing to support you too. not just the audience. audience gonna do what they want regardless. reblog, don’t reblog, whatever. “at least ive read it right?” but everyone knows this. duh! but it’s obvious who doesn’t care as long as they’re on top of that tag! its admirable in a way but it sucks for those wanting to break out and build some kind of readerbase and/or make friends.
TLDR; people need to stop being bias and be fair and open lol. stop picking favorites and share the love all around. you see another person writing your favorite character or trope, give them a fucking chance and reblog, regardless if they’re in your ‘circle’ / radar or not. regardless if you know them or not. hell, let them put you on to a new fandom. bc writing is writing and making new moots and finding new fics seem to be what everyone loves to showcase until its time to actually do it. no wonder people get discouraged to make friends and write, yall treat it like some kind of secret society when its supposed to be fun💀 not a competition. (yall need to dead this clique-y shit. )
#writers#writers of tumblr#WATCH EVERYONE SKIP OVER THIS DHDHDJDN#OH OH OH#and im black#LMAO THATS THE PUNCHLINE#so#all of this isnt only happening in a general writing fandom#but the little corner for my black people??#and in the corners of other minorities#IT HAPPENS HERE TOO DHGSGJG#nb is safe🙅🏾♀️#i thought we were escaping exclusivity?#and assumptions made about other people??#trust when i say this is NOT about anyone specific#just silly little observations#and pieces of my experiences#so any complaints#SHOVE IT SHOVE IT SHOVE IT!#will delete if this starts a revolt#or not bc i love chaos in the name of truth#i hope yall can feel the sarcasm this is kinda longer than i intended but i wanted to be as thorough as possible in my point#been working on this for a min#im not tagging as discourse bc this isn’t what this is#and if you treat is as such imma just assume you’re exactly who im talking about and keep it pushing🤷🏾♀️#just be better is all im saying#BYE I JUST CAUGHT SO MANY MISTAKES#the shame#i was caught up#but yall get it
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Hello all. In case you've been unaware, recently tumblr has begun rolling out a partnership with Midjourney to scrape the entire website and its users' posts for their AI training. This includes peoples art, and probably also writing and photography. Anything you've posted the company may use for training, and you are opted IN by default.
Obviously this blog has been inactive for quite a while now, and no new art has been or will be posted here, but this puts me in a difficult position. I'm not sure exactly what I'm gonna do with this blog from here on. Some people have recommended editing posts to put a glaze filter over old art so that it's unusable, but I have many hundreds of posts, not all of which are tagged, and I'm unsure whether the AI training has already gotten a hold of them or not, making the potential filter useless. Not to mention the reblogs that already exist of the old un-glazed artwork.
I considered deleting everything, maybe even the blog itself, but that idea...sucks. I like the idea and the feeling that though I'm not active, my art is still out in the fandom tags somewhere, and that I have had an effect on the fandoms I was in and shared my art with. And again, the reblogs still exist, so I'm not sure what that would mean in terms of AI scraping. My worry is that deleting my blog would only relinquish any control I do have of what is done with my art.
As it is I'm kind of at a standstill. I was recently thinking over sharing my art again on other blogs, since I do miss being a part of that creative space. But now this change has kind of crushed that idea entirely. All this, plus the extreme transmisogyny apocalypse happening on here in the last month, and the seeming silencing of important movement tags like palestine, it really makes me want to ditch tumblr altogether. I've seen many people considering switching platforms. There's been a lot of markiplier mutuals specifically who have encouraged me to join cohost, I also have seen pillowfort as an option for others. But those platforms are new, kind of janky and will be hard to get used to for me. Plus, idk if I'm using them wrong but there's like...11 posts in each tag that I've seen so far, which kind of kills the feeling of being a part of a big open fan community I really love. Cohost seems like a nice platform, but if only 30-35 people move over, then it's really going to be a moot point. I wanna be where everyone else in the fandom is. I worry that this mass migration will only splinter communities, as we're all going to different places. I don't want to make 500 accounts on different platforms just to stay active and feel aware in the community.
My entire online social life up to this point has basically been on tumblr, I have a lot of blogs with a LOT of memories attached to them, and it would hurt to just drop them and move away.
Overall I'm at a loss. I enjoy sharing my work, my ideas and thoughts, I like being a part of these creative communities. But it seems like everyday the online space becomes more and more hostile toward creatives and fans, and much more advertiser friendly. One thing i never ever wanted to happen was for my art to be used for AI, and I naively thought that tumblr would be safe in that way. Guess not. I sometimes wonder if eventually all large social media will crash down and The People will dedicate to going back to personal websites and forums. I would enjoy a space where I could share my art on my own terms, and not have other peoples interaction with it overshadow everything else.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet. For now I will be staying on tumblr until I figure it out, but definitely no more posting creatively. I want to try to keep my work up if I can. I would recommend on all your blogs going to settings and toggling ON "prevent third-party sharing for this blog", as that will let tumblr know you wish your work, including reblogs of it to be excluded from the scraping. I'm unsure how actually useful this will be, or how much the company will respect these wishes but. It's there. I would also love for you to come talk with me @boobookiss and, hey, maybe make a cohost account. I'm on there as boobookiss as well. I hope to keep touch with you all and see this little community stay together.
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i'm not really one for new years or rly doing anything for it, but i thought i should at least thank all my friends who have made this year infinitely better for me. i'm ngl, this year was really hard in many ways. it felt like me and my family particularly were hit with new things to deal with as soon as the old ones had ended, and we just desperately wanted a break.
my way of getting a break was talking to you all, writing my silly little delusions, and being able to have a space here to share my work. so thank you. whether you were a silent reader, liked, reblogged, followed, or gave feedback for my writing-- all of you have helped me so much this year. the love that my writing has received has given me such motivation to keep going and to keep trying, and i don't think i would've otherwise.
now to thank my lovely friends, who without, i wouldn't be here today :( in no particular order...
@aravrs,, @kyrjnie,, @nyukyujs,, @etherealyoungk,, @rubywonu,, @kyeomyun,, @idubiluv,, @minholing,, @welcometomyoasis,, @dinotoro,, @wonijinjin,, @hannieheartuu,, @mangocustard16,, @amara-mars,, @glosskirt i don't like putting you all together because each of you mean so much to me individually, but i was worried i was gonna forget some of you especially since i don't talk to you guys as much </3 i love each and every one of you, and you have made 2023 such a fun year for me since i was able to talk to you all!! thank you for wanting to be moots with me and for talking to me, talking with you has been so fun and comforting this year <3 cheers to 2024 🫡
@blue-jisungs axe you were one of my first moots ever, and the first blog i followed. we became friends last year but i feel like we became so much closer this year. we watched kdramas together, spammed and ranted to each other, fed each other brainrot and delusions, and just generally enjoyed each others company :( i cannot see my life without you in it, you are so so so important to me now and i want to cry whenever i think about how amazing it is to have you as one of my best friends. i love you more than you know <3
@fairyhaos yena! you were one of the first blogs that i saw and went "woah" bcuz ur writing has always been so amazing. i seriously love it so much, i'll never get sick of it. once i got to know you as a person, i realized that you're even more amazing than your writing is. you're fun and kind and sweet and caring-- thank you so much for being my friend this year and i can't wait to make more memories with you next year 🫡
@weird-bookworm sky you are truly one of my closest friends. we've spent so much time talking and i've enjoyed every second of it. i feel like we have a unique dynamic cause unlike my other friends, we're constantly teasing and bullying in each other in the best of ways <3 in a weird way, the fact that i still know someone who is as big an army as i used to be is comforting. you feel like nostalgia-- like the old me in 2021. and even tho ur older by a bit, you feel like a younger sister to me sometimes skdjsk i really love you a lot, thank you for being my friend this year!!
@haecien cien my only guy friend 👹 talking to you has been especially fun this year. introducing you to the new loves of ur life, listening to you scream about minghao, harua, seungwoo, hyunjae, shin and gaon, playing stardew valley, and sharing some nostalgia from the philippines is all so comforting to me <3 i love u so much and i hope that i can find some more guys to add to ur loml list in 2024 🤞
@kkooongie sarah!! we've talked quite a bit since we met, and it's always been so fun and nice to talk to someone who is as much of a multi as i am <3 finding someone who also stans groups like victon and verivery is extremely hard??? and i'm so happy that there's someone out there who loves silly little nugu kpop men just like me <3 i love you a lot, and i hope you never forget that 🫶
@evalevaeva eva.... ur just incredible to me sometimes?? from writing the best fuma delusions to stressing out abt ur auditions (don't go to cube istg) talking to you has always been so fun!! i'm still so glad that you reblogged that one so mun fic, otherwise i would've never found your blog or talked to you </3 the sieun delusions are real and stan lucy for a better life 🤞 you always make me laugh and smile so much, and i hope i do too cause otherwise that would be a little awkward... 🧍♀️ PLS I HOPE IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO LIKES OUR FRIENDSHIP 👎
@caramel-maveeato viv </3 my wife fr 🥹 whether it was screaming about the men i love the most to dying over your art or fics, you've always been someone who was always comfortable to talk to. i just love talking to you so much its so therapeutic??? stop rizzing me up tho it must stop before i go insane 🙅♀️🚫 no more rizzing in 2024 okay 👹 i hope we talk a lot more and stay as close as we are now bcuz talking to you has always been one of my favorite things to do, i love you so much 💖
@candewlsy mizu my baby </3 I LOVE U SO MUCH LIKE PLS PLS PLS KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE U IM GONNA SCREAM I WANNA SQUISH U?? what. ur just so fun and silly and comforting and I LOVE U AND UR HUMOUR 🥹 i love how you allow me to introduce you to new kpop men and actors, and how you love them just as much as me!! you're just as delulu and slightly deranged as i am AND THATS WHAT MAKES IT FUN 😭 i love watching kdramas with you, and i hope we can finally get through our list of kdramas to watch in 2024 cause its getting l o n g e r 🧍♀️ thank you also for reblogging my fics bcuz ur reblogs have to be some of my favorites ever </3 they're so fun and entertaining to read, i always end up giggling :(
@wheeboo rania :( i know i usually bully you and you bully me back, the whole divorced wives things but idk i'm feeling a little emo rn so i'm just gonna be appreciative?? i know we have talked recently, but it feels like we haven't talked enough since before christmas cause i've been busy and you've been busy... and idk i've just felt that void a bit?? talking to you has always been so fun and relaxing, and it's guaranteed to make me smile and laugh and just be an escape from anything i've been thinking about. watching k-dramas and having little music sessions were some of my absolute favorite memories of this year. it's just so special that I can call you one of my best friends, and i hope that i can continue to talk to you for years to come because you're one of the most comforting people i've ever met. not to mention that you write like an absolute goddess?? i still remember proofreading psycho for the first time and just being so shocked bcuz how does anyone even write like that????? i love that i'm ur little go-to for fic spoilers pls don't ever replace me or i'll cry 🧍♀️ and whenever i'm struggling with a fic, i always go to you as well <3 i can't express how much i love you and how much you mean to-- words just aren't enough 😭 i'll never get tired of talking to you
@eternalgyu i saved you for last cause i know this is gonna be a long ass paragraph.... ppl are gonna be dying to scroll past this so i wanted to make sure u were at the end. saving the best for last yk 🫡 hannie you have changed my life. like from the day i met you my life was completely changed. it felt like i had finally found my missing puzzle piece?? the best friend that i never had was finally in my life. and my life has never been the same since. everyday when i wake up, i text you. my brain is just "hannie hannie hannie hannie hannie hannie" that's all it is now. when you weren't able to text me for 3 days, i felt like my world had stopped. i couldn't think about anything else, i couldn't sleep. at this point, i need you to live. i need you to be able to function. you are the reason i kept writing. you are the reason im alive. and you will always be my favorite person on this entire earth. i'd choose you over everyone and everything in a heartbeat. it's not even a question at this point, but i know the answer is gonna be you every time. i know this isn't an accurate number of the messages i've send to you, but just on discord, in 2023, i've sent you 183,422 messages. i'm sure ive sent thousands on instagram, and hundreds on other social media too. if you ever stop talking to me, i'll literally find u. LIKE U CANT EVER LEAVE ME CAUSE UR STUCK WITH ME FOR THE REST OF TIME >:( i'll start sending you daily emails pretending to be car insurance or smth like idk ill think of smth... anything to keep you as my best best friend for eternity. i know i say that i don't believe soulmates exist, because the idea of romantic soulmates is a little too fantastical for my realist mind. but since meeting you, i can say for certain that platonic soulmates do exist. we fit together so perfectly, i couldn't imagine anyone else as my best friend.
i remember one time before i met you, i tried to make an irl friend here and my dad said "i hope that you'll find your diana". obviously they didn't end up being your diana, but it's fine. because i did find my diana. you are my diana, and i am your anne. if i could spend the rest of my life talking to you, it'll still not be enough, so please keep talking to me in heaven or something.... the beomgyu to my taehyun, the jeonghan to my joshua, the sejun to my subin, the hoyoung to my gyehyeon, the wyatt to my yuto, the anton to my sohee, the taesan to my jaehyun, the yechan to my wonsang, the chanhee to my changmin, the jeongin to my seungmin, the moonbin to my rocky, the jo to my yuma, the jake to my jungwon, the theo to my jongseob, the taehyung to my hobi, the hwiyoung to my hwiyoung (what), THE HWIYOUNG TO MY DAWON (there we go), THE TAEYANG TO MY HWIYOUNG (even better), the jihoon to my minhyun, my one and only hannie. i love you more than anyone and anything. even though we're so different, we work so well together. we have different biases, and different habits. different religions and different plans for our lives. but we both have plans to meet each other, and i know it'll happen eventually. my life won't be complete until i can run up to you at the airport and give you the biggest hug. i'll probably start crying when that happens since i'm crying just think about it. i won't let go of the hug for maybe 5 minutes because i need to make up for all the hours spent that i couldn't give you a hug. i don't usually like hugs, but giving you one is all that i want to do. there's been so many times where i wished i could hug you. whenever you're struggling or feel depressed, whenever you feel hopeless and lost and uncared for and unloved and overlooked. i just want to hug you when i hear about them, because even though i don't know how to help you in those times, even when i don't have the solution, i know a hug would make things just a little better. when we eventually get ourselves a little apartment with a couple of cats, you can always come to me for a hug when you feel down. i'll bake you some brownies or cookies and we'll watch some kdramas together. we'll reminisce to old kpop songs from our childhood (like... srr SUGAR RUSH USH SUGAR RUSH USH SUGAR RUSH USH UH) and we'll eventually be old porch grandma's still bopping to txt's emo songs. i'll spend my teen years with you, and my adult years with you, and when i'm old and wrinkly, i hope you're still by my side. cause i don't want anyone else as my best friend. only you. pls don't cry while reading this cause ik you might AND I DIDNT MAKE THIS W THE INTENTION OF MAKING U CRY BUT LIKE IT MIGHT HAPPEN..... i rly rly love you. seriously. i love you so much. every memory i've made with you in 2023 is precious, and i know we'll make millions more in the years to come. please stay my best friend for the rest of time, because i'm never going to get sick of you. i love you the most, i hope you know that <3 i hope this is a good paragraph cause i forgot everything i wrote at this point, i don't really plan to write this much but whenever it comes to writing an appreciation for you, i always have more to say. you're my favorite person in the entire world, so ofc i would never run out of words to describe how much you mean to me. please be happy in 2024 and talk to me a lot <3 we'll meet each other for real soon and share a long hug together. until that day, let's continue how we are 🫶
happy new year to you all!! i hope 2024 is filled with love and joy and happiness <3 i love you all very much!! - zanna
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watchergate & where we go from here...
To start at the end, I purchased my annual Watcher TV subscription on April 20th because I wanted to support them when it felt like so many others were not. I'm cancelling another subscription to make this work with my budget, and I'm very happy with this!
Watcher has always made high quality, entertaining content that I love, and I'm happy to support them as they try to grow like they've always wanted to so they can bring on more creators and give us more diverse art.
So, moving forward, I'm going to be posting about Watcher TV when it comes out - spoiler parties with the sexy moots! - and I'll be blocking any and all haters I see. 💜💜💜
(read more bc ofc this got long)
To walk this back and give a little history/context, *ahem* [sotto Byron voice]
April 12, 2024: Watcher announced they had a surprise coming for us in a week's time. The news came in the form of a very spirited ad-read in the Mystery Files s2 finale. And afterwards there were a few blogs posting about it, but I commented to a friend that my dash had been devoid of Watcher posts (oh, how that sweet summer child would grow to long for a day such as that).
There were some corkboard theories, and I broke down the new logo design, but nothing big happened until the following Thursday.
April 18, 2024: I saw the leak for the announcement. It was on reddit and a sock tumblr blog was made sending the link out to people. I didn't post it or share it because it wasn't my news to share. I wanted to wait to see how they were going to explain it.
Maybe I should have said at the time (but it's fine if you don't believe me now I guess) but I was hoping Watcher TV would become like their enhanced Patreon replacement, where the new shows like "Puppet History Karaoke" and "Road Files" would be exclusive, and some other perks like early access. [note: if Apollo is laughing at him right now, I'd kindly request he stuff that red ball somewhere Helios doesn't shine]
I imagined some people would be mad at the streaming news but it didn't prepare me for how bad it would get...
April 19, 2024: Most of us know what happened. The announcement was not well received. Watcher's silence right after wasn't helping, but I don't think many people were willing to give them any grace for their pre-planned trip to the UK and instead demanded answers immediately.
Do I think maybe their announcement could have been timed better? Or maybe given a different tone? Perhaps. But either way what they were trying to communicate was not what people chose to hear, and the response from many viewers was, to choose a very formal phrase here, absolute bonker banana balls insane.
The main anti-streamer "arguments" I saw basically boiled down into these categories:
"high production tv quality content is what they want to make, but we don't want that - we only want them to sit in a blank room and talk to each other with blue and yellow text like the bfu days!!"
"Steven's the one behind all this bc he's rich and greedy and only eats gold"
"they already make enough money off their patreon why are they doing this?? they should have consulted [insert other yt-er here]"
"they've become the capitalist elite that we swore to destroy! so we have to tear them down from their thrones!!"
Even now, feeling better than I have in days, I don't have the energy to say why each of those takes completely misses the point of who they are as a company, as creators, and as human beings. But there are some eloquent posts in my #watchergate tag, or my other post, if you're interested.
April 22, 2024: We got the Watcher update - giving people access to all videos after a month on the new streamer - and that seemed to placate a lot of viewers and those on the fence. But it was also the day I learned about that horrible petition against Steven, and I'd been following all this drama for several days (foregoing some self-care) and so I had a little meltdown...
Even though the new setup is closer to what I'd hoped for like 10 days ago, I hate how we arrived at it. It's shown people that they can bully creators to get them to compromise on their company. In fact, I've seen accounts celebrating this.
Opinions like this have given me trust issues when it comes to the Watcher fandom at large now. As many of my beloved mutuals have said, I'm going to be wary of accounts that follow me and be applying that blocking feature liberally.
I can also only imagine how things like this must have broken some of the trust that the Watcher crew feels for us - fightingfuries really said it best. If they do start distancing themselves on socials and things, I wouldn't really blame them.
I don't have more to say, other than I'm going to support them as much as I can, for as long as they continue to make content. I'm going to send the team a care package. And I hope in time we'll earn back their trust.
Now I'll let Ryan Bergara play me out...
As for the question of why we decided to launch our own platform, when we started Watcher in 2020, we wanted to create shows that we were proud of, that we had ownership over, and that would provide you the caliber of content that we felt you deserved.
However, we were finding it harder and harder to stay relevant to advertisers and the constantly changing YouTube landscape. We faced some incredibly challenging decisions. We didn't want to compromise our content to ensure they met advertising requirements.
And we definitely did not want to lay people off that have brought Watcher to life behind the scenes. And we didn't want to bring Watcher to a close, which would have happened if we stayed solely on YouTube.
- An Update, April 22, 2024
#watchergate#I needed to wrap up some feelings#but closing the tag now#onto posting about happier things!#and I have a little idea/project I want to work on next for any of you who are watcher tv members#vi rants#we now return to my normally scheduled queue
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Hello, my beloved moots!
I know I'm always behind on my Asks and DM's, but I had a little bit of time yesterday so I wanted to share the love and appreciation I have received in the recent months. ♡
♡ Personal post below! ♡
My darlings @underthenightskydreamsneverdie @evaslytherpuff @shanaraharlyah @hotcinnam0nspicy @valyrra and @sevprince-91, thank you so much for dropping by to remind me that you think I am wonderful and for spreading your sunshine into my humble blog! Please know I love and cherish you all! ♡♡♡
And to the kind anons who had sent me nothing but positivity and love, I hope you know you've brought a smile to my face! 🥰
After one whole year of being in this fandom, I am still awed by how supportive and generous a lot of you are! I feel blessed to have had been able to curate my experience in this fandom in a way that makes me feel happy and safe in this little chunk of internet I call my blog. And even though it hasn't always been smooth sailing for some of us, myself included, I'm glad I still share the same space and niche with some of the nicest, craziest, most creative lot I've ever had the pleasure of calling my mutuals!
And lastly, I feel so bloody blessed to have met my soul sisters through HL! Like, I cannot truly imagine what my life would be like without the unwavering love and support of two of the hottest people to ever walk this earth @esolean and @valyrra! Like, sheesh! Have you seen these two?! And of course, what would I be without my girlfriend, confidant, and sisterwife @subastian-swallows? Babe, it's you and me forever. Sorry I have to drag you into this emo fit.
Apologies for the long post. I just wanna remind everyone that my blog is a safe space and that I really do genuinely cherish you all even if I'm not able to mention you by name. Like, my ride-or-dies know who you are. Okay, I'm going now byeeee! ♡♡♡
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Aaron Hotchner & CM Content Creator Spotlight
Good evening, loves! I hope you are all having a good start to your week. I just wanted to take a moment to shout out some of the amazing content creators that I see putting out the most breathtaking, content related to Aaron and Criminal Minds in general.
The fact that we get this content, for free, never ceases to amaze me. I’m lucky to interact, read, and view your work every day. It really does help my writing and makes my days a 100 times better. And an extra special shoutout to my moots (y’all are so keen! ❤️) Please check these awesome people out and give them a follow if you are so inclined. I will continue adding accounts to this list as I find them. See the list under the cut [accounts not listed in any order]
Creators who Write for Aaron & the BAU All fics mentioned are linked
@criminalskies - They have lots of Aaron-centered fics that are so comforting.
My favorite work of theirs: “In Your Orbit” Part I and Part II. I still haven’t recovered from these.
@luveline - She has lots of Aaron content and some Spencer fics as well. She also posts for other fandoms like Stranger Things and The Mauraders. Her use of tone and diction always blow me away.
My favorite work of hers: “If Things Go Bad”
@little-diable - A truly prolific writer! The consistency in style is incredible. She also writes for Harry Potter and Peaky Blinders (thank you, thank you, thank you!)
My favorite work of hers: “For You, always” [18+]
@softhairedhotch - He shares lots of Aaron head canons and ideas that get my writing juices going.
My favorite works of his: “cold case” and the “Trans masc Aaron headcannons” ← This is still making me want to give him a hug and go to a pride parade with him and Jack!
@ssahotchnerr - When I read her stuff I just kick my feet and scream into my pillow. Her Aaron stuff sends me. I love the fics with fluff so much.
My favorite work of hers: “Sleepless”
@winterscaptain - To say that her series A Joyful Future actually changed my life is an understatement. I go back to it again, and again, and again. I’ll link the master list here (link) but if you want to literally feel like you are really married to Aaron, then give the series a read.
I like all of Tali’s work, but I’m extra partial to “Though and Though” and “Berry Hill”
@itsrainingreid - I’m still pretty new to this blog, but the fic “Ride” [18+] sold me instantly. I can’t stop thinking about it. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Creators that share Screencaps and Inspo
@milla984 A L W A Y S comes through with the Aaron screen caps. Literally my hero!
@hotchs-big-hands [18+ account. Minors DNI!] Her nsfw Aaron inspo content does things to me.
@hotch-girl The way I keep saving her pictures like I need to have the whole set. [I need the whole set]
@sadgirlzluvdilfs [18+ account. Minors DNI!] A generally lovely person who always posts/reposts good Aaron/Thomas content! It's a joy to hang out on her blog.
@hancydrewfan Always shares the Emily content I need.
Creators that make Prompts and also Write
@imagining-in-the-margins It was her Meet Cute Writing Challenge prompts that got me writing again. I cannot thank you enough for that. Her prompts have really helped me get my writing mojo back.
Criminal Minds Artists
@k1ngari
@lilliesthings Soft pastel aesthetic of Spence, Em, Garcia, and Derk. What more could you ask for? Nothing in my book.
@weirdlybeans Super cute art of Hotch! I love their work!
@hannaloony So cute and cozy digital art. I want all of your pieces as prints!
Creators that share the Dark Academia Aesthetic [my aesthetic]
@optimistic-nihilist
@peacefulandcozy Maybe more soft academia / mori kie than dark academia, but I still find it very aesthetic!
@cafekitsune has the cutes text breaks and dividers on here. Her work has been a gamechanger for my page. Please check her out if you are into aesthetics on your blog! Remi I love you so much.
#criminal minds#fanfiction#ssa aaron hotchner#emily prentiss#spencer reid#aaron hotcher#criminal minds shoutout#cm#reader insert#fanficion#Is aaron a shared delusion?#i love my moots#reading recommendations#fic recommendations#criminal minds art#aesthetic
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MOOT GAME w/ rules: you can only choose ONE moot for each category (you may repeat moots for different categories)
a moot who's talent (not for writing!!) you'd like to steal
a moot who's spouse material
a moot you'd like to go backpacking with
a moot you think is especially unique
a moot you think has a contagious personality
a moot you'd like to go on your dream holiday with
a moot you share the most in common with
I hope you enjoy :D
THANKS FOR THE ASK ANON THIS LOOKS SO FUN LETS GOO ‼️I really tried not to repeat anyone because I thought that was part of the rules and then I read the rules again 🧍♀️anyways as charli xcx once said (maybe?) fuck the rules LOVE YOU ANON !
a moot who's talent I'd like to steal— a new moot to switch things up!! @raspberriesoda because how does judah's blog look so good??? and cohesive and its like the right balance of colours and everything idk I love it ‼️
a moot who's spouse material— LOVE OF MY LIFE APPLE OF MY EYE BACK OFF STAY AWAY @suzayaaa someone I can share random thoughts with and she'll feed into them
a moot I'd like to go backpacking with— this has to be someone I'd have a good time with BUT ALSO have rational thinking skills so I'd say @jammingjaem because ofc we'd have a good (safe-ish) time yk what they say I'm here for a good time not a long time yeah that!
a moot I think is especially unique— @suzayaaa again because we're literally polar opposites with like 0.01% similarities and she has some fun thought every now and then 😭
a moot with a contagious personality— @jaehunnyy my love is one of the sweetest people to ever exist and I think the happy and overall positive vibe is so contagious in the best way possible
a moot I'd like to go on my dream holiday with— JHUA ASIA TRIP??? there's no way it could be anyone but @justalildumpling because I feel like j would be such a relaxed travel buddy and I AM NOT for panicking
a moot I share the most in common with— we are literally on the same wavelength like 24/7 so @hyuckswoman because our whole conversations consist of (many things but also) a lot of I agree's
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this is my last time requesting (at least for tdy lol) so could I,lastly,request starboy,please??
⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖
LETTER TO NICKI ⭑.ᐟ
⟢ “I was scared of pretty girls and starting conversations!”
my lovely nicki,
hi! we’ve been mutuals for just a short while but it feels like i’ve known you forever. you were my first tumblr moot and friend, so i’ll remember you forever ofc (:
I love a lot of things about your blog and you, so here are some of them: your theme; it’s so gorgeous! the ttpd era goes hard fr. I love how we talk freely with each other and share silly little things about our day. also!! you’re so!!! pretty!! absolutely stunning, dare I say—a greek goddess <3 plus, hufflepuff-slytherin is an underrated friendship combination too.
your spotify playlists are so cute! my favourite is ‘academic weapon (my version)’ <3 and I can’t begin to fangirl over your music taste.
I could go on and on about how kind, sweet, beautiful, and lovely you are, but I don’t think there’s a huge enough word count allowed by tumblr for that (; ilysm nicki!
love,
skye 🎸
taglist — @nuncscioquidsitamor-14 @mqstermindswift @puffoz @skeelly @urmomabby
@sunnitheapollokid @jgracie @canonfeminine @cinemaconrad @totokyo
@urbanflorals @aezuria @thetunnelunderoceanboulevard @cherigall @percabethluvr
@pjoverseluvr @maybxlle @mershellscape @riordanness @starlitszn
@metyouattherighttime @a-beautiful-fool @sequinsnstars @ssparksflyy @fayvpor
@iheartgirlzn @nomournersnofunerals @over-the-ocean-call @seaglass-and-string @cer3lia
@lara20aral @bloophasarrived @xoxochb @auroraofthesun1 @sophiesonlinediary
@solangelotus @brodieland @s1utlvr @imasimpdealwithit @waitingonher
@nqds @skyrigel @daydream-of-a-wallflower @klineinie @hermidastouch
@catastrxblues @moon-drop18 @d4rkdi0rrr
event masterlist
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WELCOME!
WHAT IS ‘WHAT COULD BE WORTH ETERNITY,?
What Could Be Worth Eternity?, or wcbwe for short, is an art/storytelling project of mine! I currently have a comic (very early stage) in-the-works, as well as some writing and other art pieces. In short, wcbwe is what I call the original universe that holds a number of stories and characters I want to share!
OH, SO THIS BLOG IS FOR THAT COMIC?
………not exactly, unfortunately. The comic is still very early in its production, and as the only person working on it, progress is slow going. I think taking the extra time will be worth it in the end, but I’m biased lol. As it stands, this blog is not specifically for the comic in the works, but when I am ready to start posting pages, this is where it’ll happen!
…ALRIGHT. THEN WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS BLOG? WHY THE COUNTDOWN, IF THE BIG PROJECT ISN’T GOING TO BE READY FOR A WHILE?
Wait, countdown? For anyone who doesn’t know, for about two months, I was doing a… daily, countdown on my main blog, and it ended today, 2023.08.28, the day this blog goes up.
To be honest – the countdown wasn’t for this. In fact I’m writing out this lil intro post the day it’s supposed to go up while at work haha! I am incredibly unprepared. The countdown was to something at work (that never ended up happening, to my knowledge), I think we were supposed to do some sort of… media blackout? Like I said, it didn’t happen, so it doesn’t really matter. But, well, a couple of my moots saw the countdown and got curious, and I thought ‘well I should do something on tumblr, too!’. So here we are. Art blog! Yup, this is an art (and sometimes writing) blog centered around the wcbwe universe. Right now the plan is to update every Monday, but that’s subject to change because I have no clue what my uni schedule is yet XD
YEAH YEAH COOL. GO BACK TO THAT COMIC FOR A MINUTE?
Ah yes. The comic. My pride and joy, should I actually manage to stick with the project. Like I said, it’s still very early in its production; only the prologue and first chapter have been scripted, and only half the prologue has been storyboarded. And it’s going to be a very long comic, so that’s not a lot. I’d prefer to have the whole thing, or almost the whole thing, storyboarded before I start making pages. If you want an estimate? I’d say it’ll be about a year or more before I can start posting pages.
OKAY, SO IF YOU WEREN’T PREPARED TO START THIS BLOG, WHY DO IT?
Well, there’s no time like the present! I need somewhere to organize my thoughts and concepts for the universe, story, and characters, and I’m hoping having a dedicated blog might motivate me to sort out my ideas haha.
*INSERT FANCY LIL PROGRESS BAR HERE*
Wow! What was the progress again? Not to worry! I’ll keep the progress updated here :]
scripted up to chapter 4
21/? pages storyboarded
0/? pages completed
IF THIS IS AN ART BLOG, WHAT KIND OF ART WILL YOU BE POSTING?
In short, anything wcbwe related! Digital art, traditional art, short writing things, animations, concept art, storyboard sketches, etc. etc. Anything I make that has to do with the wcbwe universe will end up on here eventually! Not all of it will be Quality Art TM lol
ALRIGHT, BUT WHAT’S THE STORY ABOUT?
I don’t want to get too into spoilers, especially since I don’t have most of the plot ironed out yet. Up until the comic’s production is further along, the main focus here will be on worldbuilding and designs. With that said – you might be able to put together pieces of the plot with the art provided! I’ve got a couple big pieces coming up that have some kinda major spoilers. I just don’t want to actually talk about the plot things until I know what I’m doing. With that in mind, some art might end up getting retconned in the final production. Though, there’ll be a liiiiiiiitle plot sneak peak at the end of this post. Very small :p (it comes with art!)
ASKS ARE WELCOME!
Idk haha, if you’ve got anything to say, or any questions, drop an ask! It might take me some time to answer or I might want to save it for whatever reason, but I’ll answer eventually! Oh – asks are exempt from the Monday Updates btw! I’ll answer them whenever I answer them :3
…oh yeah I should probably mention. C a t s. (also tags are in the. tags-)
Without further ado – welcome to What Could Be Worth Eternity? Let’s dive in.
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Arceli dies.
And then she doesn’t.
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Hey babe do you have any snk blog recs? My dash is lacking attack on titan content and I don’t wanna feel alone in the finale haha
yes sure! these blogs post either ALL aot content or have mostly aot content but others pls do self promo in the comments if you want :D
(also if i tagged you and you want to be taken off pls let me know😅)
@levis-squishy-cheeks - they run very much an aot blog with a focus on levihan :)
@youre-ackermine - val's blog is allll aot i believe? lots of fanart with a focus on levihan
@anlian-aishang - anlian is one of those pillars of aot blogs in my mind hahaha. she reblogs aot fanart which is neatly sorted, so i'd go through her tags and explore
@toruvi - ley is one of my closest moots and makes amazing incredible beautiful art. do consider looking at their shop (which has jjk and fruits basket and some others too) and checking out their wonderful fics for that matter. also posts genshin and jjk
@he1chouarts - mostly eruri but a lot of general aot too!
@emiwhore - emi is super on top of aot and writes some good fic too :D lots of levi specifically
@levisfavoriteacup - hibi is one of my closest moots :3 aot content with a large focus on levi
@lostcauses-noregrets - Lost has been in the fandom for a VERY long time. they are practically an oracle on all aot content and another 'aot pillar blog' to me, but specifically eruri. i can't really think of an aot blog more aot than theirs haahhah
@littlerequiem - flo writes great aot fic with a focus on levi. definitely check her out
@bruhm0mentum - reblogs a lot of aot art (and is also just super sweet<3 dorigjerg)
@sugardaddyerwinsmith - they share a lot of events ! and reblog fanart with a focus on eruri
#i mighttt be a bit biased on eruri and levi😅but do pls check these lovely blogs out if youre looking for aot stuff :3#aot#snk#kane has mail
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what do you like about tumblr so much?
at a base level - pretty pictures, yearny text posts, and moots in the notes makes my dopamine machine go brrr...
The answer to that changes, or has changed over the years. 201X (idr what year I started the past iteration of this blog...2013?) PC is different than 2024 P-C.
In some sense it is the community, argue about that in my DMs if you want but there is some of that here. When you see the beloved and say hiiii, or therapy moot comes on and likes/RB the shit out of you, hot dog moot drops a 🌭 meme in your DMs (yes, I have a 🌭 moot, no I don't need anyone else sending me 🌭 memes, the 🌭 thing went as far as it needed to.) I don't follow a lot of people and I don't talk to most of you, but I like seeing what you post and what your vibe is, and that ❤️ on your personal post means we care about you and what you got going on. IDK that this place would be what it is if we could only RB??
There's a post (there is ALWAYS a post) that is something like "...maybe we're all just saying this is how feel about this, do you also feel that way..." And I love that, whether it is just sharing shitposts, or the Beastie Boys, or ducks, or something heartfelt and personal. We in some ways just want to see who else feels that way. You know? The anonymity of this place changes the dynamic compared to other social channels and I love that about this place.
We all grow and change and there is a part of this hellsite that I attribute to that in my life. I understand my kinks better. I see and appreciate new art. I learn things about other people and cultures. I am a different person because of some of you. Yes I could probably have done that elsewhere (and I do, tbc) but the fact is I also did it here.
Without attributing TOO much weight to this, there is an creative expression aspect of this place and a meditative quality to scrolling (for me, ymmv as we all use this space differently). We aren't Picasso up in here, but to some extent we express ourselves in different ways with text posts that we write (over the years I've had a private blog that I write on), images we like/RB/Upload, etc. And (again, for me) sometimes I want to shut my brain down and just scroll pretty pics and hit the like/RB button. I joke that it is a spiritual practice.
But what about the NSFW posts/blogs??? I've had an active NSFW on here the whole time I've had "this" account. Originally I was more into those as sexual/horny posts but really titposts are just shitposts or aesthetic blogs with bewbies and dicks in them. They're just posts, tbh a good yearning/longing post will fuck you up more than a nsfwpost.
I could probably go on about this beloved hellsite but I'll stop for now. I appreciate the question, I assume it was sparked by my somewhat "truth in jest" response to the asks the other day (I'll love you if...you understand and appreciate my relationship with Tumblr).
Thanks, Anon.
also, like all good tumblrinas, I think about deactivating and leaving *almost* every damn day, lol
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I think cause I’m so stressed w school but still want to post I’m finally gonna focus on all the reqs in my inbox instead of my own brain thinking of fic ideas cause it’s so fried rn lol (watch me not follow through w this later on 🧍♀️) also just let me ramble for a bit this isn’t rly important but it’s just my thoughts as an author here on the blr.
(long rly pointless ramble abt requests and inboxes and blogs and writing etc etc under the cut if my thoughts don’t make sense at all it’s cause it’s 2 am shush)
like I love requests so much I love sharing brainrot and being able to write a fic for someone and making them happy w my writing it’s the whole reason I started writing in the first place. but I just love my own brain and the fics that I come up with on my own as well and I think it’s rly important for writers to consistently write things that their own brain thought of and write them just because they want to. I’ve seen writers put sm pressure on themselves to complete requests and I totally understand that but I kinda hate how they even feel that pressure in the first place bcuz it takes away the joy of writing and you find yourself unable to even think of what to write anymore cause it’s become associated with the stress of “getting it done” like some sort of school assignment. requests can be such a blessing and a way to connect a fandom more and build a community and even a little family within a blog but it can also be so stressful. feeling bad that you’ve taken too long to finish a request, having anons harass you in your inbox for not writing their request “quickly enough”, and the general entitlement ppl have adopted when they’re literally asking— ASKING someone else to do something FOR THEM. I don’t experience this too often and I don’t want any of the people who have sent me requests to feel bad for sending them in, trust me I LOVE the requests. but I do wonder sometimes if ppl on my blog wonder why I take so long to finish requests and why I never close them either lmao. cause it is quite different from all my moots’ blogs and majority of blogs on tumblr that I’ve seen… and I just think I always want to have that option for readers to spill their thoughts into a request without the pressure or expectation that it’s going to be answered quickly. closing and opening inboxes is an amazing way to work through requests systematically and consistently while also not getting bogged down by too many. and I think readers probably like that system(?) cause it’s a higher chance of their request getting done quickly! (and to those readers who send out the same request to a bunch of different authors idk WHY you do this idc if it’s just bcuz you wanted to see how we would all interpret it differently, honestly fuck you. bcuz it just feels so empty and pointless like you don’t actually care abt us as authors and our writing but just want to see how fast an author can get your idea written and posted. it’s like you’re using us as machines and testing who will be the fastest and who will stay on the loading screen the longest. it’s so disappointing tbh. and maybe this is also why i enjoy writing for lesser known groups bcuz when I get a request it’s so precious to me i know that the reader sent it in bcuz they actually like my writing and know I’ll be able to write for a group that they love that not many other ppl write for. despite the fact that I won’t get more than 10-30 notes for a fic from a nugu group doesn’t mean that it is less rewarding.)
but then again I’ve also seen readers ignore the authors rules stating that requests are closed or get mad that they are and it’s just… sigh… we are literally writing for free for your enjoyment, we spend hundreds of hours writing these fics whether they are “good” or “bad” they still take time and effort and love and a whole lot of brainpower and googling of synonyms and staring blankly at the two sentences you’ve written before switching tabs and procrastinating for 2 hours only to come back and finish in one flurry of motivation lmao. but for me having my inbox always open and welcome for requests feels like it’s actively counteracting the expectations for writers to pump out fics like some sort of machine to feed their audience while only getting blank likes as a return (this is truly JUST my thoughts and how I view it I’m not trying to say how I do things is better or how others work their blog is wrong or anything like that. if ur a writer and u rly focus on getting ur requests done lowkey I admire u cause I do still feel some guilt looking at requests I have sitting in my inbox from like last year although I am happy and content w my system and feel that it does put the focus on me and my creativity and less on the pressure to take others ideas and make a fic for them with the side effects of time pressure and guilt for not following through if that makes sense.) all that rambling is to say that now that brain is so focused on tasks that are much more important and I have less time to think of silly little delusions, having these requests sitting in my inbox waiting for me is rly nice :) and I’m rly excited to complete more of them cause most of you have given me rly rly amazing fic ideas <3
#﹒zanna speaks 𓈃 ⵌ#why is this more words than some of my fics yikes#I am a yapper at heart#and I have so much to say just on this stupid little website and the way it works#anyway I hope this makes sense#don’t expect it to resonate with anyone but who knows maybe it will#I just want to thank ppl for requesting and to encourage more requests in the future as well#bcuz getting them and having them to fall back on when I want to write and don’t have ideas of my own is so nice#and as long as there’s no harassment in my inbox abt me not completing the requests or having ‘favourite’ reqs#we are all good and happy here
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