#i want to know exactly HOW LONG ronan lynch was completely head over heels for adam parrish | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lilaccure · 7 years

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Friends - pynch fic

I haven't done a pynch Fic for so long don’t fight me on this pls thanks. Also I h8 titles. the titles could fucking suck it. fuck. have a fucking quote why not.

“I can only note that the past is beautiful because one never realises an emotion at the time. It expands later, and thus we don't have complete emotions about the present, only about the past.” ― Virginia Woolf

Ronan knocked twice. thrice until Adam Parrish opened the door and the raven boy entered the threshold without so much as a nod. "What time is it Ronan? Its like, 12 at midnight," Adam said with a husky voice, still drowsed in sleep. wiping both eyes with the heel of his hands, he sat on his bed (if you could even call it that) with Ronan beside him, looking over his wrist at what probably seemed like a nonexistent watch. "yep, seems about it," he flopped down the mattress, sending the two of them mid-flight, then plummeting back down the cushions with a heavy thud. Ronan buried his face with an arm, and so he lay there, breath hitched, sharp edges, even in his sleep.

The moonlight teemed off the window pane, timidly fell across the planks, and silently, so very quietly teemed off the floors and crawled through the bed sheets until the blue filtered light met a face of a prince. Until it met the continuance of Ronan Lynch, and behind all that flashy grins and the sharp pugnacity, the light shone something soft. something amiable and unfazed.

It scared Adam. "Ronan," he began to whisper amid the sudden solitude that enclosed around the both of them. Or maybe its just Adam. because godammit, silence never felt this comforting before. it never consulted him like an embrace. oh dear god, it scared him. "Ronan," it was a hiss this time. He instantly wished he took the name back, when Ronan grunted, voice still drunk in his little dreamscape. "what do you want, Parrish," "you can't dream here, you bastard." "and you can't live in this hellhole Parrish, but hey, we do weird shit anyway," "god, Ronan you don't even make sense" except he did. he did he did he did make sense, at lease to Adam, and he wanted him to leave and he wanted him in his arms and he wanted him- didn't he?

he's wanted him for so long. and laying in his bed like this, with the damn moon on his side, with the damn world on his side, the stars and the sun and the trees and every ocean in the damn world..it was clear that the boy had everything.

and then there was Adam. Adam; who isn't even anything at all. he shook his head, wanting his thoughts out, wanting Ronan out, wanting everything out.

finally getting his head straight he asked, "Why aren't you even in Monmouth? c'mon Ronan don't make that face. stop it. stop pouting. oh my god you are so embarrassing. really, Lynch, why aren't you in Monmouth." Ronan sat up, and clearly dodging the question, he shot, "y'know i was gonna dream you a whole new apartment. then you could finally settle in a place you actually like."

it took all of his will power for Adam not to do anything, say anything stupid. "I do like this place."

Ronan arched an eyebrow.

“okay, so it isn't paradise or whatever but its enough to get me going, alright?." It really wasn't paradise, and it really couldn't be, not if the air condition continues doing its jack shit purpose, but it is enough, and enough for Adam Parrish was all he ever asked for. "also, i see you dodge my question there, great job with that by the way," "gee, thanks Parrish. i might apply myself for some football practices now," Adam couldn't help but chuckle at that. "whatever Lynch" he smiled at Ronan, and something passed in his eyes. something that Adam couldn’t put a finger on, couldn’t name... he looked away. "No, really. Gansey kicked you out didn't he." he didn't ask it. he simply stated it, a statement, hovering over the air, left for Ronan to deal with, to mess with, to splatter the syllables with, to rephrase it. all he said was "pfft, and why wouldn't he?"

and then the silence intruded, an uninvited guest. it polluted the air around them, and the silence Adam once felt, the silence when Ronan was asleep, was long gone now. "what did you do now?" Ronan, to Adam's surprise, smiled. it was the smile built for battle fields. smiles like that were used for triumphant victories. or whatever the hell americans rejoice over nowadays. "kinda got drunk, and may kinda did this whole scene. also am kinda drunk now. I think. and i kinda miss you by the way, you don't go to Monmouth that often anymore."

"yeah, i figured you were drunk," Adam said, pretending he didn't hear the words, "kinda miss you," leave Ronan's lips. it was almost hard to tell if Ronan Lynch got himself wasted. almost. maybe for some people, having the knowledge of Ronan's sanity was as hard as having the knowledge of the geographical lines of Mexico. But really, it was the way Ronan moved that gave it all out. it was his voice, a little high pictched at times, low pitched most times.

The catch was that Ronan Lynch wasnt one to go full on drunk. he seldom had the drive to cover himself with false euphoria and delirious liquor. Ronan unfailingly got himself sober. and sober Ronan had little boundaries and differences between regular Ronan.

Adam knew the invisible marks. the hidden spots and parts that labeled the translucent facets within those metal walls, those boundaries.

He knew every damn spot. It was a challenge not to smile at the thought.

"you did? jesus christ, I thought i sounded pretty sane," Ronan scoffed at himself. "Sane, whatever that is." he looked at Adam. no, he didn't looked at Adam, he really looked at him. with the sharp eyes, and the piercing intention. he looked at Adam. and Adam couldn’t help but look back. "what?" he mumbled out.

and then like a thunderbolt, Ronan's hands were suddenly on both his shoulders, grasping. it was the sensation of flesh against another’s flesh that Adam drank on. "Adam Parrish," Ronan declared. "never, ever, stay sane." "Ronan, what are you-" Ronan's lips collided with Adam's. and then almost as instantly left. they stared, and stared.

"I-" Ronan started, except Adam interrupted with his lips back on his.

and, again, left.

Adam felt his eyes widen. So were Ronan's eyes. no. this can't be happening. the cosmetics of the universe simply do not allow this. this isn't supposed to be happening. not now. god, no, not now. and it was that realisation, that stupid, damn realisation that sparked Adam's thoughts, that ignited the whole gravity of their new found situation.

"Your drunk." it was only the realisation, that made his voice as calm and as unfazed. "your drunk, oh god." rattled by their own intentions, his hands went straight to his hair, tangling itself, remaking itself, disconnecting himself from Ronan, doing whatever he can to disconnect whatever tether pulled him to Ronan, disconnecting anything, any treacherous thought that would inevitably hurt him later. "Ronan," he said again, voice so lethally calm he thought he saw Ronan flinch and oh god it scares him. "your drunk," he whispered this time.

he could feel the tears sprout. this cannot be happening. Ronan stood up and headed straight for the door.

hands still buried in his hair, Adam wanted to actually find cabeswater and scream. now the tears started to come. they came, streaming down his cheeks like pools of dark matter.

Ronan glanced over his shoulder. he didn't say anything as he closed the door.

“Ronan, this is Adam Parrish.” Gansey introduced. Adam really didn’t care if this guy, Gansey, tried to make acquaintances. its not like other people actually tried. they pass by him, like always, as usual. the eye contact really wasn’t a problem for Adam. he just needed to do what needed to be done, and get it done right. he didn’t go to Aglionby Academy to make friends. so a part of him didn’t exactly know why or how he ended up helping Richard Gansey.

nevertheless, he took his chances.

that is, until he introduced him to Ronan Lynch.

It wasn’t because he looked intimidating. but, hell, he looked intimidating. Adam didn’t need to put much effort into hiding the fact though. he was pretty familiar with the feeling, he practically conquered it by now.

but really, Ronan Lynch was an intimidating beast. he was built from scratch, from hard metal, from the burning of coals. he was all sharp edges, sharp as a blade. in short, he was practically capable of joining a damn biker gang. so it striked Adam as uncanny for him to be beside someone like Gansey.

“What?” Ronan snapped. “too intimidating for you?” Looks like he hadn’t done a good job hiding the shock after all.

Suddenly they were at lease 2 inches apart. one was a lean, freckled thing. the other was a tall, impenetrable creature. “I don’t have a problem with the intimidating, mind you.” Adam replied casually, cautious of his henrietta accent, balancing the fragile syllables as if the letters might inexorably tilt.

Before anything sever may happen between them, Gansey backed off the two with an arm, separating the two of them “Okay, now you two have to get along in some way…” He mused more to himself than to the both of them.

“oh trust me, we’ll get a long really well.” Ronan snapped, heading back to Monmouth. the message didn’t feel at all that threatening. just maybe a little too sarcastic to be considered a threat. and underneath all that sarcastic venom, a rather playful note.

Adam couldn’t give two shits about the both of them anyway. They might as well forget about him. he’ll play along with their sorry excuses for what they call adventures. by the end of the day, he’ll just be another passerby along the halls in their periphery. it was just all a matter of timing before they’ve forgotten his name.

he followed Gansey to the threshold of Monmouth Manufacturing.

Morning came by too quickly. staggering across the floor, Adam opened the door to his bathroom and examined his face as if dissecting a rotting, already withered plant. His hairs still a mess, as if a bird laid eggs in it. the black and purple bags underneath his eyes were definitely familiar, although he couldn't help but regain a conscious, deliberate scene about the small matter.

he buried his face in his two palms and groaned.

he needed to see Ronan. he just...he needed to. Running away would do no good. even for the both of them. Running away could better yet lead to innumerable wars Adam coudn't even begin to imagine.

why did he do this to Ronan?

He sprang out of the bathroom, grabbed a jacket, and headed straight for the door.

For Adam, home wasn’t a physical thing. not an object, not even a photograph. Home was a feeling, and home, in general, was a privilege Adam considered a depravity in his life. though he simply did not show a use for it. he didn’t even need it. he had everything he needed in front of him. a crappy apartment, sure. a scholarship. and ordinary friends. or, extraordinary, in that matter.

to him, this was what he considered home. and home sat beside him on the porch of 300 fox way. “Got you a soda.” Ronan Lynch said. “Hope you like coke.” he did liked coke. “thanks,” he replied, taking the bottle out of the boy’s hand. “no problem man.” they sat there in silence for a moment. both boy’s didn’t really mind the quiet atmosphere. it was simply there. silence in its finest. a fascinating, simple thing.

“so you and blue broke up huh?” Ronan said. the words didn’t really take him by surprise. nor did blue’s decisions. the wound was still a fresh, throbbing thing, but he knew the situation would pass, like all else. “yeah. I honestly don’t know what happened,” He answered truthfully, looking down at his lap. Ronan scoffed. Adam gently shoved him with a shoulder. “as i was saying, It didn’t really work out , i guess.” What part in Adam’s life did work out? “hell yeah it didn’t work out.” Adam shot an exasperated look. “should i be laughing?” “no, look, okay.” Ronan turned around, facing him. he placed his coke on the floor. “I know you could definitely find someone better. if not better, than, i don’t know man, more whatever your type is. or whatever.” Adam laughed, and Ronan gave a deadpan expression. He knew he was going somewhere here, so he held back a smile. “as I was saying,”

Adam smiled. Ronan smiled back. “You deserve someone else. and that may be crappy, and its a statement we’ve all heard, but,” he got his coke, and took a long sip. he dropped the now empty bottle, sending it clattering on the floor, and added with an air of finality: “You do deserve someone else. and if that someone else doesn’t appreciate you, or what you do, then i’ll kick their ass.” Adam chuckled at that. the thought of Ronan Lynch defending someone like Adam Parrish…the thought of someone defending Adam Parrish.

he just had to laugh at the thought, impossible as it seems. but somewhere underneath the doubt, there was also a yellow light that sparked. sparked and unraveled everything into flames. Adam wasn’t familiar with this, but he did know its name, prestigious and unassuming as it is. hope. it echoed, it ricocheted along Adam’s dry bones like guitar strings. it ignited the darkness that settled in his gut. the darkness that settled for who knew how long.

It was nice to feel happy for a change.

“You’ll kick their ass all the way to California.” he mused, taking a sip off of his coke. a sigh escaped his lips as he leaned on the porch wall, and Ronan soon followed after.

“California and back.” he clarified.

they settled into that quite, perfect solitude.

Adam knocked twice. thrice when Ronan lynch opened the door. there were bags underneath his eyes too, and the sight made Adam's insides turn cold with grief. they tangled themselves with the strike of punishment, they ricocheted across every hallow space in Adams chest.

it wasn't guilt. god, no, Adam knew guilt as well as he knew pity. guilt is what practically fuels the foul thing. no. he felt ashamed. and shame, like any other foul thing, demanded to be felt.

he felt every damn blow.

"Ronan, I-" "look, it was my fault." he interrupted. Adam's eyes shot up to Ronan's lighting blue. "God, of course it wasn't! look, I-" "Can we just-" he clenched his teeth, and Adam wanted the shame to just drown him already. Wanted the shame to devour him whole before the anger. or the sadness. or the pain.

but pain was another foul thing. except now, this damn creature, Adam welcomed. he used it by his side, a spectre for a ravished labourer. a leash for an unwanted peasant. he used it as coal, to ignite him, to push himself, to drive him. except now, and only now, did the pain turn against him.

it never shattered him whole so completely, so treacherously like this exact moment. "lets just forget about it. I just want to forget about it." Ronan Lynch never lies. and if you didn’t believe him, you just had to take his honest word for it. although this time, his words surely felt like a lie to Adam.

he nodded his head. "i- yeah. yeah, sure. ok." He felt like he was an actor, playing in a show no one wanted to see.

he left without saying another word when he heard a crackling voice, "kerah!"

the shame drowned him when he realised he hadn't even greeted Chainsaw. and then realised he probably didn't have the right to, not anymore.

hell, he probably didn't even care if he was being ridiculous. he was a walking ridiculous, blind human fool. and now there was no way in hell he was going to get what he wanted. no way in hell was he getting what he needed so badly at the very start. he messed up. fuck, he thought. i messed up.

He knew it was Adam Parrish.

he didn’t know how long its settled there. he didn’t know exactly when it settled there, or indeed, why. What Ronan did know was that it definitely started, if not, disclosed itself to every rib, every bone and tissue and being that was Ronan Lynch.

hell, he could set planets on fire with this feeling. god, he was on fire. Everything else that wasn’t freckles and bronze hair or thin flesh around wrist’s seemed to catch in flames.

somehow, he knew it wouldn’t hurt him. this feeling. whatever it is. it felt safe in a way. it almost felt okay.

He leaned against the pig’s bumper, indulging himself with this alien feeling when he heard the footsteps of combat boots crushing against gravel. “Where’s Gansey?” He asked when he noticed the empty space beside her. Blue merely sighed, appearing beside Ronan. she placed both elbows on the pigs hood, heavily leaning against the edge. “He found some weird geographical book. he’s been turning the pages since the past hour. i’m honestly not surprised at this point.” “he does know the gas isn’t an unlimited shit fest right?” they both glanced at noah through the glass, riding shot gun, a snow globe in hand. he repeatedly shook the glass sphere, and every time, marvelled at the sheer sight of the drifting snow.

he complained that the sun was too hot for his liking and the air conditioning would be a better preference. both Ronan and Blue had to agree.

“Ugh, i’m so boorreeeeddd,” Blue threw her head up, facing the yellow heat above. in response to this, Ronan “tsk tsk”ed. “I told you you should have brought entertainment” she brought her head back down to face him. “and what would be entertainment for you anyway?” Ronan gave a moments hesitation, when he replied, “a sense of humour?” “ding ding! correct.” “dude, your so fucking weird.” “I think your great too, lynch.” they stood there, indulged in their on thoughts. “How’s Adam doing?” Blue asked, bringing a hand up to and pick her own fingernails. (that needed thorough cutting) “why do you ask me.” he asked, more of a demand, a statement perhaps, than a question. suddenly his eyes laid interest upon the gravel.

he nudged the small stones with the heel of his sneakers.

“oh c’mon stop it. you might as well be the one person in Adam’s life where he would greet with a genuine smile.”

Ronan grinned, eyes still on the gravel.

he took this as the highest compliment he’s ever received. or in that case, ever will receive. being a part of someones life could show little significant, depending on the relationship between.

but being part of a person’s life you admire, you care so very deeply in the extent of inexplicable measures and have the distinction of someone acknowledging that purpose, one that you may actually have the ecstasy of filling, the natural inclination to continue filling…and to be reminded that this particular person may want that presence, may actually smile genuinely upon…

Ronan just couldn’t help but grin. “he’s…well, Adam.”

“Adam..” blue echoed. the name chased each letter after daunting letter in the air. The name ricochetted across the skies, rattled the clouds. it startled hiding stars and made leaves unravel itself. it felt poignant, leaving their lips. it felt virtuous.

“I wish he weren’t so,” Blue started, but once the phrase left her lips, the syllables, the words, the meaning all faded away into itself. collapsed, drifted into some alternate atmosphere.

“What?” Ronan pushed, eyes now on blue.

Her hand dropped to her side. She returned Ronan’s vigorous glare. when she finally found the words, she said, “I wish he weren’t so hard on himself. He has to take things so severely. so thoroughly. no one should ever be allowed to live like…like that.” Ronan simply nodded, and that was all it took for Blue to give a consoling smile, and place her attention back to her nails.

Ronan crossed both his arms and threw his head back, the heat of the sun slapping him across the face. “I wish he weren’t so hard on himself either.” He heard pure, profound pain strangle himself in his throat when he said it. it choked on him.

he breathed though the uncanny strain in his chest.

“I’m here!” Gansey said, walking towards Blue and Ronan.

Ronan Lynch knew what this feeling was. fucking finally, he thought.

he wanted this feeling to consume him.

it was 12 at midnight. 9 hours since Adam knocked on the door to Monmouth. he didn't want to hear the apologies. didn't want to hear anything. he couldn't anyway. there was no way he could manifest a truck's passing engine through the thuds and the beats of his own racing heart, a raging truck itself. a fuelled hungry, ravished thing.

god, he was a mess. god, he was a walking staggering mess that wanted something so far different from what he was. he wanted Adam Parrish. he practically laughed out loud at himself, at the sheer thought of the same boy who kissed him. the same boy who regretted kissing him. the boy who he wanted all these years...

he took a swing off his brandy.

Chainsaw cawed beside him. "jesus, what do you want now?" he fished for some leftover biscuits in his jeans pocket and found only crumbs as small as ants. or maybe they are ants? nevertheless, he dropped the crumbles (ants?)(he really didn't care at this point.) on the cement. Chainsaw didn't even glanced at the bits. Ronan sighed, taking another swing. He didn't even know why he did what he did. didn't even know why he even thought of doing it. in what alternate universe was it okay for Ronan Lynch, son of a dreamer, possessor of dreams, king of thieves, to even touch Adam Parrish?

Adam Parrish. untouchable. Adam Parrish; Cabeswater’s descendant. someone who definitely deserved more. someone who deserved stolen dreams, and liquid sunsets in bottles, countless universes in stranger's hands, a whole forest of tangled brambles, a whole sky of fading clouds. Someone who is capable of innumerable possibilities. someone who had possibilities. someone who isn’t Ronan.

someone who deserved the whole world.

someone who is the world.

Thieves like him don't deserve the whole world. The crowds of people would declare him a bastard before he could even hover a finger upon it. and anyway, he couldn’t do that. steal the world. some other person, another person may be worthy enough to finally take it. that person isn’t Ronan. he knew that fact well enough.

another swing off of his brandy and this time he could definitely feel himself tilting. "goddamit," he rasped, clenching the bottle in his fist, watching it crumple into itself, watching the material fold and shrink and crunch, until he see's his knuckles go white, until he's certain he could actually manifest the capability of shattering a bottle of plastic to pieces, shattering little crumbles of what was once lethargic and full, now small, insignificant.

Ronan clenched his eyes tightly shut when he heard footsteps, then,

"you might as well throw that bottle."

Ronan could find that voice in a room of crowded applause. he practically memorised that husky tone, fabricated in his memory, romanticised by his fantasies. he could grasp that voice even through death. even in the brink of insanity.

"I thought i'd find you here." Adam said, sitting down beside him in the sidewalk. the post lights seemed brighter in this part of town. the night seemed dimmer. the streets were quiet, and so were the two boys. Ronan threw the bottle.

it skidded across the gravel, crashing against the edge of the opposite sidewalk.

"you have another bottle?" Ronan passed him another bottle. Adam opened it with a thumb, sipped, sighed. then sighed again, this time with an air of exasperation. In his periphery, Ronan could just see his fingers fidget with one another, hands sprawled on his lap.

"Adam-"

This time, when Adam's lips met his, it was nothing like before. it was nothing like a question, a hanging, silent inquiry. it was an exclamation point, loud and triumphant, proud, holding with it a single period at the bottom. a statement.

It was like winning. it was like plunging down a cliff in search for a field, it was like swimming in an ocean. he was kissing Adam Parrish. Adam Parrish was kissing him. their foreheads touched, their noses whispered against each other. and then Adam's lips left Ronan's for a small laugh to escape. his eyes were closed, both of their eyes were closed, and Ronan opened them to see Adam's laugh.To a possibility in front of him.

"Ronan," Adam whispered, smile as ear splitting as any thunder, as any racing heartbeat. his eyes bore laugh lines, and the moon shone every facet, every freckle, every patch of skin, that was Adam Parrish. his lips met Ronan's ear and the raven boy felt every damn surge of possibility in this boys arms. "your my best friend." Ronan smiled, putting his lips to his ear as well, "we're not just friends," He looked at Adam. "and you fucking know it." the post lights burned brighter.

in that moment, in the guess of a five minute frame, in what actually seemed like a transient five century long night, the two boys knew what the other was thinking after all these years. or rather, who.

All this fucking time, the two of them thought. "why didn't we do this right before?" Adam asked in between kisses. "I bet St. Agnes is a few steps away from here," Ronan pointed out, a message behind those words. Adam smiled. "Well what a fucking coincidence Lynch," he took the boys hands in his, softly nuzzling his forehead. "I knew it had to work out." because somewhere amid chaos and battles and doubt, there was a thought, always that thought, that combusts a dark lit room, that breaks a milestone asunder. it was the thought of just maybe hoping. of hope.

someone had to take their chances. "your my best friend too, Parrish." "shhhh" he buried his head in the nape of Ronan's neck. "te amo, Lynch."

they staggered along the pathway to St. Agnes.

#yay its a fic #pynch #pynch fic #fanfic #writing #fic #trc #Adam Parrish #Ronan Lynch #mine #pynch fanfic #the raven cycle

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