guys i could talk forever about the things that give me chills in the ‘john dies at the end series’. 

like sure there are creatures and creepy bloody gory things. but like. for me

imagine

your boyfriend struggles with depression. he also struggles with a lot of other things, like eldritch creatures and the existential idea of whether or not he is a monster (long story, and it’s much less metaphorical than you think), and you just want him to realize that you love him, and he deserves love. It’s a hard situation because how are you supposed to approach a subject like a psychiatrist when the last psychiatrist he had ended up being evil and was behind a large plot involving nuking your hometown. But one day he comes home, and he’s in a good mood. It’s nice. He’s got some energy back, he asks you about your day, he’s tidied up. And then! hey says that he’s going to call a doctor and see about maybe regulating his moods. he acknowledges all of the things you’re afraid of and reassures you. And then. He takes you to a lake where he’s hidden a kidnapped girl. He quickly tells you that he’s not actually your boyfriend. he’s a shapeshifter. he tells you that you deserve better. and then leaves. but in those moments before you knew it was your boyfriend, you were reconciling his actions. later on you learn that these shapeshifters get in your head, they twist your fears and your desires. and you flashback to those moments with “Not Your Boyfriend”. and you find that fear. that fear that one day, the craziness that overtakes your life, will overtake him as well. you feel guilty that your first reaction wasn’t disbelieving that your boyfriend had kidnapped someone. your first reaction was a feeling of inevitablility.

the true horror is that you find yourself so happy on this one day with your boyfriend and it’s not him. the true horror is that this thing shows you what you’re at your core afraid of. there’s a thing and it got inside your head, and sometimes the scariest thing is our own desires projected out in front of us, sometimes the horror is our perception of others. sometimes the scariest thing is that all you want is for your boyfriend to take control of his life, to be happy, and one day he is, except no he isn’t, it’s a monster, and this creature, a twisted creature from beyond dimensions tells you that you deserve better. 

does anyone understand what i’m trying to say here, i’ve really started rambling on, but these scenes are just so striking to me. i am OBSESSED with the portrayal of their relationship in ‘What the Hell Did I Just Read’. 

The love at time of the World Cup- John Stones

Request: Could the reader work with both Manchester City and England as a photographer (feel free to add any position)? They have a good friendship for a while, but he totally has a crush on her. They didn't have a chance to have a proper chat until they were traveling to Qatar for the World Cup. Maybe the lads will always tease him about it, and Dave the Cat could be a supporting actor too.

Warning: something extra fluffy I guess?

Tag list: @masonxomount @chelsealover @johnstonesfc @stonesyy @prideofpd

Is there something more cliché than being an employeee for a big football club and fall in love with one of the players? Maybe yes but that was exactly how the story between you and John went and it was like a fairytale to you.

You would blush madly every time you made eye contact with him and the little smile that came across his lips afterwards made your cheeks turn even redder, hiding then behind your camera to go back to your working duties, hoping the lense would be able to catch his beautiful smiley features instead of your own eyes.

The start of it was a bit rough as you were really, really shy and wouldn't dare to approach any of the players, fearing you would have bothered them so you just stuck to what your job required you to do.

John, on his part, would take every given occasion to share a word with you, even for a small and casual "how are you?" but nothing more happened as it was kind of hard having a real conversation. 

"Mate, why don't you ask her out instead of eating her with your eyes??" Kyle asked, blurted out better, John seeing as his friend couldn't keep his stare away from you for too long.

"Shut up mate!" John tried to shush him because he felt embarrassed and, above all, didn't want you to hear. 

"Why should I?? You both clearly like each other, you keep flirting and you're both embarrassing, you're a match made in heaven!" He joked, playfully shoving the City defender. 

“She’s kinda shy, what if she’s too embarrassed to say yes?”

“You scared of that? Really? She won’t ever say no, she’s so into you”

John sighed, his stare fixed on you who were chatting with one of the guys of the social team.

“And I know you’re mad about that guy who’s making her laugh right now”

John blushed and smirked, that smirk meaning his friend’s supposition was highly correct: he would have liked to punch that man right in the face, even though he didn’t do anything wrong except for the fact he was doing what he should have been doing, making you laugh.

"Come on!" Kyle jokingly pushed John closer to you, the whole situation making him kind of embarrassed.

The first thing that came to his mind was talking about work as you were part of City's first then England's social media team and you just recorded that funny interview he and Kyle just gave.

"Hey" The City player walked closer to you and your coworker, ready to take his place.

"Hi John! What's up? The interview was so good, the fans will love it!" You really were happy with the outcome so it came out as something natural to compliment him.

"Yeah, thanks" He blushed slightly, scratching the back of his neck "It was fun, you had such a good idea"

Now it was your turn to blush as you weren't expecting that compliment from him.

After that first real conversation you had together, you had started talking on the phone too as you both couldn't go a day without each other's texts as they soon became the highlight of your day.

The Euro 2020 was the occasion for you to spend more time together as you were offered a place in the England's social media team and you didn't want to miss the opportunity for the world as it would have been such an important shift in your career 

What brought you unexpectedly closer was the presence of a kitten that liked to spend his days near the team's hotel, waiting for some of the players to pet him and among them there was John.

"I'm deadly allergic to cats but this one is so cute I wanna pet him"

"I don't wanna take you to the hospital or something so stay away from him"

"You care more about me or about the cat?"

"Why are you asking that?"

"Just answer" You giggled, teasing him.

"The cat of course" He joked, winking at you.

"We should find him a shelter"

"Indeed…I'll take care of him for now"

"Hey you two already adopted a cat! Your relationship is going very well from what I see!" Eric shouted seeing you really close to each other, sharing the cat.

“We are not sharing anything” You chuckled, walking away as the blush that tinted your cheeks spoke for itself, before the boys could make fun of you.

It wasn’t the truth that you two weren’t sharing anything because you soon came to share his lips as they pressed the softest kiss on yours that night, the sweetest goodnight kiss ever.

You were officially a couple, making everyone around you cheer the moment you decided to make things official. 

That was only the first kiss you would get from him as he took every given occasion to steal kisses from you: trapping you inside empty rooms only to give you a quick peck, waiting for everyone to leave so he could squeeze your hands and kiss you goodbye before leaving for the next game. It could safely said that you turned into his lucky charm.

The stolen kisses soon became some kind of ritual the British player couldn't go without, taking it to Manchester too.

The summer of 2021 was the moment everything started, the moment you realised you were made for each other but the Qatar World Cup was what sealed the intensity of your relationship: the year and a half in between the two international competitions went on smoothly as you started dating without hiding, met the respective families and shared a house.

As you were there in the stands watching the players warming up in the insufferably hot Qatari weather, you relived the whole timeline of your love story all over again. That caused you to sigh contentedly because, after more than a year, you were still there and going strong.

"I'm so proud of you" You breathed in his neck as his hot tears soaked your shoulder. "You did so well, I love you so much"

Even though a lot of things changed some of them stayed the same: as it happened in 2021, a cat was still there playing cupid and his teammates were still there making fun of him for being so hopelessly in love. The only thing that changed was that the cat, he and Kyle renamed Dave, made it to Instagram, becoming a worldwide sensation and that you were bearing his child but he didn’t know it yet.

Another thing stayed the same though: England didn't make it to the end of the tournament, losing the final back in 2021 and facing the quarter-final exit against France this time, but you were still there for him, waiting for him with your arms open to welcome him in the safest place you could offer. The only difference was that you could have done it out in the open now, not fearing anyone’s judgement or some tabloids slamming stolen pictures of you two on their covers under some nasty headline.

"Take me home"

"We'll go soon baby, I promise"

His sadness and disappointment made your eyes teary too as you couldn't bear seeing him like that. 

"There'll be better times, everything's gonna be alright" You kept whispering in his hair, placing kisses among his curls.

John finally tilted up his head, his beautiful green eyes, made even more beautiful by the glossy layer his tears had been applying to them, looking right into yours. You were the only person who could’ve kept him sane and you would’ve done everything possible to take care of him who was nothing but a frail man who needed all the love in the world.

"I love you"

"I love you more"

you've probably discussed these things before but idk so im curious: who is your favorite homestuck character? and which is your fave from each "category" like alpha/beta kids/trolls etc?

also have you finished it? i started reading like 2011-ish and stopped shortly after the gigapause but i wanna reread the whole thing one of these days.

being into homestuck back when it was ongoing was such a formative experience for me. there never has been & never will be another fandom like it imo.

Kanaya was my favorite because I first read Homestuck when I was about 13/14 and I was realizing I was gay and I latched onto her as a lesbian I could relate to lmao. I loved her and Rose and met one of my best friends on a Trollmegle chat room roleplaying as Rose and Kanaya. Me and her still are friends and I’m 27 years old now lmfao

Beta kids I’m kind of torn between Rose and Dave. Alpha kids I love Roxy. Trolls, I’m gonna say still Kanaya, but I also really like Karkat (and his friendship with Kanaya)

I would be curious tho if I re-read it, if my favorite characters might change now that I’m older!

I read Homestuck in full, every single page (including Intermission duh) when I first started reading — that is, i read it until I was all caught up. At the time I remember Jane had just been introduced. in other words, recently after the Scratch/alpha timeline

I kept up with updates pretty consistently after that but I can’t really remember when I dropped off. I remember Caliborn’s [Enter] animation which was amazing. But then I don’t remember much beyond Dave and Dirk’s deep talk and Vriska shenanigans

I definitely know I watched [S] Collide. But I don’t really even remember how Homestuck ended (if it ever did even end lmfao). I know John opened the door. I know they won

One day I hope to reread it!

Incorrect Quotes

Dirk: You’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.

----

Sollux: 2chrödiinger’2 cat ii2 overrated. IIf you wanna 2ee 2omethiing that’2 both dead and aliive you can talk two me any tiime of the day.

----

Vriska: Dear friends, your Christmas gift this year…….. is me. That’s right, another year of friendship. Your mem8ership has been renewed.

----

Roxy: you can de-escalate any situation by simply saying 'are we about 2 kiss?'

Roxy: doesnt work for getting out of speeding tickets bt-dubs

----

Rose: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Kanaya: I Want You To Eat Three Meals A Day And Have A Decent Sleep Schedule.

Rose: Absolutely not.

----

)(IC:people t)(ink I’m just cruel but I really )(ave the )(eart of a c)(ild, 4 or 5 actually, I collect t)(em

----

John: you know when you shake laminated paper and it does the thing.

Terezi: FWUBFWUBFWUBFWUBFWUBFWUBFWUB

John: exactly.

----

Crowd: *cheers*

Dave, over microphone: pasta

Crowd: *cheers louder*

we need more male-female friendships talked about in the homestuck community.... i wanna see rose and johns funny banter, jade and daves personalities bouncing off eachother and having a fun time, maybe even have dirk and jane wearing friendship bracelets! dont even get me STARTED on specifically roxy and dirk, like the one-sided crush roxy had was sad but shes tough! they were still literally some of the best of friends man....

"I don't wanna leave you, Daddy"

(A/N): This was requested by an Anon and it's based on this concept. I hope you are ready for the feels.

Summary: Hotch's daughter is an introvert. A quiet one. But why does she go even quieter after her mother's death?

Warnings: So much hurt. Angst. Fluff. It's bitter sweet.

Wordcount: 2.3k

✨Masterlist✨ _____________________________

(Y/N) never really was an outgoing person. Even since she was able to walk and talk, she still clung to her parents. She refused to play on the playground when other children were there. Socializing was just not her thing. Her parents were sure that she would never be the person to stand up and perform on stage spontaneously. And it is ok.

This doesn’t really change when Jack comes around. Sure, as he grows older and more capable of things (Y/N) plays with him. But it really seems like he is the only one around her age she is not afraid to befriend.

Aaron and Haley reassure themselves that their daughter will find friends in elementary school. After all this is an institution where many children go to and there also are adults trained for helping them coming along. She definitely will find at least one other kid to hang out with regularly and learn how to be a proper child. Because as of right now (Y/N) is more like a little adult, taking responsibilities, like watching over her little brother, she doesn’t need to do voluntarily. Maybe she will be more messy, rebellious, anything but a perfect child.

But this doesn’t exactly happen. (Y/N)’s teachers are really happy with her. Every parent-teacher conference is about how well and polite she is, always behaving good and following the rules. Sadly, they don’t have any good news regarding her social life. It’s not that she doesn’t get along with her classmates, it’s just that she isn’t able to strike up a conversation or is very good at keeping one long enough that a kid is interested in her.

Knowing that (Y/N) is mostly quiet in her school days, Aaron makes it a habit to bring her more often to the office. She surprisingly warms quickly up to his team and whenever she is around them the girl is an unstoppable tornado running loose around the bullpen.

This is kind of how she grows up until the age of middle school. (Y/N) learns some social skills and makes a few friends over the last few years. Unfortunately these friendships are not as deep as the parents wish, still it’s better than nothing.

Things get difficult when Aaron and Haley start to separate. It never is easy when parents fall out of love and it is not only difficult for Jack to see his father not as often as he used to, considering he still is a toddler needing both parents. Especially (Y/N), who is more of a daddy’s girl than a mommy’s girl, suffers from the situation at home.

Of course it’s hard on her to not see her father for a week or two at a time, but ever since her parents are going on parted ways she sees him at most one weekend every three weeks. This also changes her social life dramastically.

“(Y/N), don’t you wanna do something with your friends? You can invite them over for the weekend”, Haley suggests after watching her daughter not going out with somebody outside of school for several days. For the past two weeks the ten year old just comes home, does her homework and puts her nose in one of the books her Uncle Spencer recommended.

The girl only looks up at her mother to shake her head. “Why not, Sweetie? I haven’t seen William and John in so long. Are you still friends with them?” (Y/N) nods again. “So what is it? Are you guys fighting?” Haley sits down next to her on her bed.

“No, they just-just don’t know about this. I don’t want to tell them. And I want to stay home. It’s ok how it is right now”, she admits. Her mother’s heart breaks at that statement.

In this moment she realizes that anything a parent does has immediate consequences for the children. “I’m sorry, Sweetie. I didn’t know this is so hard for you. Maybe you can talk to them over the next few days about it, I think it’ll help you. Do you want to watch a film with me for now? Jack has a sleepover at a friend’s. We can do a girl’s night. We hadn’t had one in a long time.”

(Y/N)’s eyes light up at that. “With all the candy in the world?” Haley smiles at the newfound excitement. “Of course. Anything you want.”

From only seeing Aaron every now and then it suddenly turns to not knowing when she will see him next. After George Foyet ambushes him and makes his family into the next target, (Y/N), her brother and her mother have to go into witness protection.

The goodbye at the hospital is painful and filled with tears. “But Dad, I don’t want to leave you. I’ll miss you too much. I don’t like not seeing you. And what about you? You will be more lonely and-and I can’t leave you”, she confesses, sobbing into him.

Hotch has to hold his own tears back. He doesn’t want to come over as stoic, but as the strong father figure he always tries to be. “Honey, I know I’ll miss you so much. You have to be strong for your mother. This will not be easy and I know it. I promise to do my best to get all of you back as soon as possible, ok? Please be good for your mother and behave. We all need to work together for you to get back fast and safely.”

(Y/N) continues to cry into his hospital gown. Aaron can’t help it and dissolves in tears himself while trying to calm her down. “Shh, Honey. Everything will be fine. I’m so so sorry for all this. I never wanted something like this to happen. Shh, we will see each other real soon. The team and I will do our best. Just please, don’t cry. Please, it all will be better. I can’t let you go without seeing your beautiful laugh for one last time.”

“I don’t wanna leave you, Daddy. I-I wanna stay with you and Uncle Dave and Auntie JJ and Uncle Spencer and Uncle Der and Auntie Penny and Auntie Em. I’m scared you won’t be fine when we come back.”

It’s needless to say that nobody cracked even a smile that day.

Going into witness protection made Haley worry about Jack especially. He is just four years old and she isn’t sure how much he understands about what’s going on. Surprisingly the boy gets accustomed to the situation pretty fast. Of course he misses his father and his people from school, but he is also quick to meet new ones in the town they moved to.

(Y/N) has bigger problems. New school. New kids. New everything.

“Maybe you can see it as a fresh start. Here is nobody you know. You can be whoever you want to be. I can take you shopping and you can try out a new style”, her mother tries to make the situation sound advantageous to her. But the girl dryly answers: “When somebody doesn’t like me how I am now, how will they like an act?”

Sam Kassmeyer regularly reports back to Aaron about his family’s well being. “Jack is thriving. His teachers describe him as a bundle of joy. (Y/N) slowly gets acclimated to the change. Haley told me she started making friends with a girl in their neighborhood. I already ran a background check and the family is clean.”

Hotch lets out a sigh of relief. He turns towards the image on Penelope’s monitor. “Happy fifth birthday, Buddy.”

A few weeks after that it seems like the events overturn each other.

Foyet coming back. Kassmeyer getting tortured. Foyet finding Haley and the children. Them coming back to their house. The call. Working the case with Jack. The gunshot. The fighting noises. Hotch opening the box and hugging both of his children, relieved to see them alive.

The following weeks are difficult for the now smaller family. They mostly consist of watching videos of happy memories and talking about their feelings. Although it’s more like Jack talking about his feelings, (Y/N) went mostly silent ever since their mother’s death. This worries her father more than anything.

Two months have gone by. “Hey Honey, I’m going into the office today. Do you wanna come with me, stay at home or go to school? Anything is fine by me”, he asks her softly, kneeling beside her chair at the table. The girl is munching on her cereal halfheartedly.

“Can I come to the office?” (Y/N) asks in a hoarse voice. It’s actually the first time in four days that Aaron hears her voice. A small smile forms on his face. “Of course, that’s nice. Aunt Penny is asking me after her favorite Hotchner for days on end now. And Uncle Spencer got a stack of books he has for you to read.”

His daughter nods and quickly gets ready. They are soon on their way to Quantico after dropping Jack off at daycare. “How are your classmates? Do you like the new school?” They decided to send (Y/N) to a different school. She couldn’t bear the thought of only being the girl whose Mom died because of a serial killer.

“It’s fine. There are a few girls who are really nice. I think we can be friends. Mo-” She suddenly cuts herself off. Aaron glances over at her. “Continue, Sweetheart. Just tell me what’s on your mind”, he tries to encourage her.

The girl hesitates before following her father’s advice. “Mom would have liked them,” she mumbles. It’s quiet for a few seconds. Hotch is looking for a suitable answer. After all it’s the first time she talked about her mother since her death. “I’m sure of it, Honey. Maybe you can invite them over and I can get to know them. Think about it, no pressure of course.” (Y/N) nods to indicate that she heard him.

Not long later they enter the bullpen. “There she is! My little Hotchner! How you doing, Baby?” Derek asks her and envelopes her into a hug. But she only shrugs her shoulders. This goes on for the rest of the day. Whenever anyone talks to her, the only answer is given by her body language.

Hotch watches helplessly Spencer trying to engage in a conversation with her. His arms and hands are waving around. (Y/N) though just looks at him without being really there mentally. It seems like she is lost in her own thoughts, like it happened so often over the last few months.

“Have you tried talking to her about it?” Dave asks, sitting down on the chair opposite of him. Aaron looks at him funny. “Of course. But (Y/N) is just not ready to talk about Haley and everybody grieves differently. I can’t force her to speak, Dave.”

The older agent leans back in his seat. “I don’t think she needs to talk about her. This probably is too soon. She needs to talk about you. The changes.” After a short pause, in which the other one still doesn’t get the point, Rossi continues. “That little girl just lost her mother. She is scared to lose her father, the one with the high risk job. I think that is enough to talk about.”

This occupies the agent for the remainder of the day. Aaron was so invested in fulfilling both parent roles, that he forgot that he is just a father. The man his children go to when they have a nightmare. The one, who is more lenient than their mother. He can’t be both ones. He can’t be two people in one.

A kid trusts a mother and a father usually. And he can’t be mother and father at once. Hotch has to accept the fact. The fact that (Y/N) and Jack are going to grow up without a mother. But luckily not without mother figures.

Later that day, after tucking Jack in, Aaron knocks on his daughter’s door. A small “Come in!” echoes back to him. He enters her room and spots (Y/N) already in her bed reading a book Spencer gave her today.

“Hey, do you have time before it’s lights out?” He asks, still wanting to give her the upper hand on this. The girl nods and scoots over for her father to take a place. He lays next to her, pulling his daughter into a hug.

“I know I can’t promise it. Coming back to you every time. You know it as much as I do. But I promise you to try anything and everything in the books. You guys keep me going.” Tears roll over both of their faces.

“I-I just”, (Y/N) moves her head onto his chest to sob into it, “Just don’t wanna lose you, too. I-I don’t think I-I can’t be the girl, who doesn’t have a mother AND a father. C-can you stop that from happening?” Hotch has to wipe his eyes before answering.

“I-I try to keep that from happening, Honey. I promise.”

This is how they fall asleep, squished in a twin bed close to each other. In the morning they both are overheated and got a visitor during the night. Jack wakes them up, asking why they had a sleepover without him.

This morning is the first time Aaron sees (Y/N) smiles since day zero.

Taglist:

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962

Karkat and Reader are friends who plan to do cliché things on Valentines Day as a joke. What they don’t plan on is catching feelings.

Karkat liked cliche things like this, though he didn’t know much about Valentine’s Day. He was the perfect troll to teach about the human holiday. He claimed it was “PRETTY FUCKING STUPID, WHAT IN THE NAME OF SWEET GLOBE TICKLING FUCK IS THE POINT OF THIS SHITFEST OF A HOLIDAY” but you like to think otherwise, given his love for romcoms and all of that. And of course, with how invested he was in these horrible Valentine’s Day movies! Upon teaching him about this wonderful holiday that you adore so much, you tell him you’ve been a bit sad about not finding a Valentine.

“I MEAN, DOES IT REALLY MATTER?”

“Of course it matters Karkat, it means I’m a total fucking single loser who’s been doing absolutely nothing but fucking around and being a total fucking single loser!!!”

“OH.”

“It’s just really sad!! It’s like being this single loser! It’s like being eridan or something!”

“OKAY. I DIDNT THINK IT WAS THAT BAD. SUCKS FOR YOU!! BUT I DONT SEE WHY IT MATTERS ALL OF A SUDDEN. LIKE, YOU DONT CARE IF YOURE A SINGLE DOUCHESHIT EVERY OTHER DAY?”

“It’s because today is the day everyone talks about how they’re really in love and really happy!! Even then.. friends can even be valentines but even my friends have a partner so it’s like!! I’m completely alone on this!”

“OKAY WELL THIS HOLIDAY IS PRETTY STUPID AS IT IS. WHY DONT YOU JUST DO IT IRONICALLY.”

“Like Dave?”

“YEAH. WHY THE FUCK NOT.”

“But Dave is dating Jade so it wouldn’t work!”

“DEAR FUCK DONT REMIND ME.”

“ I am just.. I don’t know anybody to do that with! It would be fun though:( even if we’re just friends we could like do that cliche romance sappy stuff in a ironic way.”

“THEN WHY NOT ME? I MEAN SINCE YOU SAT HERE TALKING ABOUT IT FOR LIKE HOURS AND SHOWING ME THESE MOVIES.”

“Really?! You wanna?”

“THATS WHAT I JUST SAID ISNT IT?”

“YESYESYES :D okay!!”

It was an innocent idea, really. You guys did all the sappy romantic shit, he got you nice flowers, you guys went on a date at some nice food place! You got him yummy chocolates and random food with hearts in them! It was funny and nice, and it was strictly a fun joke things between the two of you. You had both decided, you are friends!! You have been friends for a long time, and that’s all you ever were to eachother, ever!!

It made your relationship simple, uncomplicated. You both talked about your crushes to eachother often, how you struggled with those feelings. How he struggled with his black feelings for John versus his redder feelings for Terezi, his jealousy towards Terezi and Dave’s relationship. How his dislike and hatred towards Dave became a good friendship. In fact, they were like, best friends? Pretty much?

And you talked about your feelings, your crushes. Your crush on Dave (which is embarrassing, looking back on). How you begged him not to tell him. You even went to him when he started dating Terezi and both shared that.. jealousy towards the situation. Karkat even felt mad at Dave at him hurting your feelings like that. Or how your relationship with Sollux became really fucking complicated when he stopped feeling red and started feeling more black, and you had to break up because you just didn’t feel that way.

Regardless of it all you’ve both always been there for eachother, when you had relationship problems and struggled with your feelings and emotions. When you couldn’t understand your own you had eachother to help with that. It made your friendship straightforward and it made it comforting as well, for the both of you. Which is why you’re both reeling from the fact you’ve both realized upon this stupid fun thing you’ve both decided to do..

You’ve fallen for one another, and it wasn’t a simple crush. For you, it certainly wasn’t. You were becoming self aware, too self aware, of the fact. Did you love him? Of course you did, do. You know you do. It’s such an intense and raw emotion you’re feeling, you don’t think you even felt that way for Sollux. It’s so intense in fact, it makes you want to puke. That aching feeling in your chest when you look at him, makes you sick. How long have you felt this way? Have you always felt this way?

Karkat feels a very similar feeling, this is all too familiar to him. Why is it so much more intense than what he’s felt with any other person? Why did he just realize the feeling was this intense? Why did it take acting like a couple as some stupid joke for him to realize he was in love? What does he do? Does he say anything? Or shut the fuck up for once in his miserable life?

It’s starting to make things very complicated.

Johnkat should've became canon, there's too many parallels between them. Friendleadershipping ftw

i would like to once again think about how right johnkat is.

you are absolutely CORRECT and this is why i enjoyed writing them so much, they are just so similar to each other yet have enjoyable differences that them falling in love is just MWAH! i mean i love that john just literally declares karkat his friend and karkat can't say anything against it, i love that karkat eventually warms up to the idea of being buddies and literally thinks about their one-day interactions for three years, i love that they have similar problems and insecurities and yet they handle it in different ways, enough that they slot together so fuckin perfectly!

i dunno what it is about dave/kat (oh god here rabble goes again) but i guess its just that....dave and karkat literally never got along like that. they never had that immediate connection, in fact they were more than sour towards each other in the beginning and i always hated the fact they became friends in the other timeline bcus there 'wasn't a girl between them' because that's so stupid. like i totally get becoming friends with someone you used to not like, i get that people's relationships can change based on knowing each other but also..........we never got to see that. we never got to see that and even in the intermissions with the games with the alpha troll ghosts we just get hints and we never see how karkat and dave become friends besides them holdin hands and having fun i guess. and like it's not like karkat didn't have that type of antagonistic friendship before - sollux for example!! they shit talked all the time!!! dave could've filled sollux's place perfectly or even alongside him - but there is nothing sustained 'cept those hints in the end and the two hanging out for three years i guess??? that we barely even get to see??

to be fair i guess in canon john and karkat spent just one day together.

but like i wanna point out we get more out of one day than three years - we get to see that day and john talks about how he cant wait to meet his human friends and karkat (he literally mentions karkat a lot) and their friendship comes so easy (despite karkat being a bitch in the beginning lol) and i dunno about you but the act 5 act 2 animation karkat has about hating john for his safer life is literally the cutest and best animation in the whole thing, literally it was a whole ass animation about just the two of them.

anyways i fuckin love the johnkat anons have some art

Detention (JJ Maybank x reader)

As you walked down the hallway you thought back to how you had gotten detention in the first place.You had always been seen as average.Average grades,an average sized house between The Cut and Figure Eight and as far as you knew you were pretty average looking as well.You werent Sarah Cameron but you werent ugly either.Just average.You were an average person with your ups and downs,having a bad attitude and a tendency to curse a lot.You had never been in detention before though.You had been walking to second period,heavy books and binder in your backpack.You had only been half awake and not even thinking straight yet.

You heard some gremlin looking boy call your best friend a whore.It was all a blur as your fist collided with his jaw,causing him to bite through his lip and send a river of blood down his chin and neck.Your half asleep self didnt think that was enough,your leg moving upwards and your foot kicking him right in the dick.A teacher broke up the fight,shouting at you and giving you two weeks in detention.The principal tried calling your mother but her being the shitty person she was...well she was long gone somewhere in Florida.She had left you a mayonaise jar full of five dollar bills and quarters with a messy note saying that she’d be gone for a couple of months.It didnt really matter anyways,not like she had been around before then.You could just stop going to school if you wanted too,no one could force you to go without her or your father around.

But something motivated you everyday.You got to see him.Of course he skipped most classes in the bathroom anyways but you’d see him in the halls sometimes and that was enough to get you out of bed everyday.As you dragged your feet,sneakers squeaking you decided that detention wasnt worth it.You couldnt really call your best friend your best friend anymore.You hadnt talked to her in weeks since she had become obsessed with her new boyfriend.She had never been the best person.She was smart,pretty,funny and everyone loved her.She was everything you wanted to be,the one person that could make you feel disgusting by just looking at her.You stuffed your hands into the pockets of your loose denim jacket when you felt someone flick the back of your head.

You turned around to see a tall,handsome blonde with blue eyes and a red baseball cap on his head.It was him.JJ Maybank.Amazing surfer,funny,attractive,pothead and your ex bestfriend.He had a brown paper bag in his hand,the paper covered in dark splotches of oil. “The buses left like 10 minutes ago,dude.”He grinned.You rolled your eyes. “I got detention.”You told him,continuing your walk down the long hallway.He smirked. “What has the pogue princess done that shes got detention?”He asked,smile widening at how annoyed he was making you.You huffed. “Fuckin’ punched a kid in the face and now ive got detention for the next two weeks.”You explained.He bit his lip. “Damn,who knew you got a dark side?”He laughed,ruffling your hair and messing it up as you approached the empty classroom.It was empty besides Mrs Dave,who,in your words,the top bitch of the school. 

“Afternoon,Linda.”JJ grinned to himself,sitting indian style on top of one of the four desks in the room.The smelly rat rolled her eyes before walking out of the classroom and locking the door behind her. “DID YOU WANT A FRY?”JJ shouted.You just sat there in shock. “She’s not gonna watch us or take our phones away or something?”You asked in disbelief.He grinned,remembering you were a detention virgin.He pulled out three cheeseburgers,a Mc Chicken and a large fry,placing the food on the desk in front of his ankles before crumpling up the paper bag and throwing it across the room. “You watch way too many disney channel movies,sweetheart.”He bit into a burger.You had fond memories of disney channel movies.You’d sit on your couch with an ipad in front of you,playing either Radio Rebel or a really bad musical.

You two would make fun of it and how bad the acting was.You sat at a desk that was a good five feet away from him,leaning back in your chair and playing around with your fingers and rings. “So youre just not gonna talk to me?”He asked.You sighed. “I really dont have anything to talk about.”You lied.All you wanted to do was to complain about everything to him.About your shitty mom,your shitty friends,your shitty life.But you couldnt.You had let yourself drift apart from him.You didnt try to keep the friendship or even get him back once you lost him.JJ smirked. “We dont have to talk.We’ll be in here for hours....alone.”He winked,blushing a bit.As much as he hated to admit it,he had a crush on you since 8th grade.

He’d sat through shitty musicals and baked cookies with you and brought you a cup of hot coffee during a rain storm because you said once that “Coffee hits different when it rains.”.He just wanted you to be happy.Thats all he ever wanted.When you guys started to drift apart he didnt try to keep the friendship alive.He thought you were distancing yourself on purpose.He didnt try to get you back either.He thought that you being away from him made you happy,so he had let it happen.You bit your lip after he said that,face turning bright red. “Shut the fuck up.”You mumbled as you buried your face in your hands.He smiled,dimples popping. “You’re so cute when you blush.”He informed you. “Stop it.”You mumbled,biting the inside of your cheek.He hopped off his desk,kneeling in front of your desk and resting his chin on his forearm.He smelled of weed and the salty ocean.You didnt even look up from your hands.

You could feel him staring at you with a cocky smirk on his face. “Am I embarrassing you right now?”He asked.You hummed,feeling even more awkward with every second.You werent used to people flirting with you.No,that was a lie.A lot of people flirted with you.Rafe,Topper,John B. for a while.But JJ Maybank had never flirted with you.Not since 8th grade.His hands grabbed your wrists gently,pulling your hands away from your face.You looked away from him,still embarrassed. “Hi.”He grinned. “Hey.”You replied.He hadnt let go of your hands,looking up at you.You just stared at eachother for a while before he slowly leaned closer to you until his forehead was against yours. “What are we doing,J?”You asked him.So much had changed about the boy in a matter of two years.He’d grown a good four inches and somehow became even more reckless.It was almost like you were talking to a stranger.

 “Why arent we close anymore,princess?I never wronged you.”He mumbled as he traced his thumb over your bottom lip.You let out a small,shaky breath. “I know you didnt...things just-just changed.”You mumbled,trying to focus on what you were saying and not the beautiful boy in front of you.He smiled. “So lets change things again.”He suggested,getting even closer to the point that your lips were brushing against his.You gulped. “How did you get detention?”You asked.You felt him grin. “Got caught skipping in the bathroom.”He mumbled.You hummed in response. “Have you missed me,princess?”He asked.Your heart was thumping so hard that you could feel it within your skull. “Of course I have.”You replied.He grinned before closing the almost non existent gap between you two.Your hand was touching his jaw lightly,his fingers laced in your hair.

It felt so natural,almost like it was meant to be as cheesy as it sounded.You pulled away giggling.JJ frowned. “What?”He asked. “Nothing-its just funny to me.”You answered.You just had your first kiss with your ex bestfriend in detention.Did any of it make sense?No.Did that stop you from kissing him again?No.You leaned forward,kissing the blonde gently and removing his hat in the process so you could run your fingers through his fluffy hair.The rest of detention was full of kisses,eating fries and doodling on the white board.He made you explain all your bracelets,kissing your knuckles and teasing you about how you had never been kissed until today. “You wanna get out of here?”He asked.You raised your eyebrows. “We’re stuck in here for another hour.”You reminded him.He walked open to the door,swinging it open. “This lock hasnt worked in years.”He laughed,wrapping an arm around you.

He practically dragged you down the hall.You were really tired.Probably because you had pulled an all nighter.But you got an adrenaline rush soon enough when you heard the sounds of high heels on tile,sprinting for dear life and squealing as you sprinted out of the school.When you stepped out of the building the sunlight beamed down on you.JJ stared at you for a moment.With the way the light was hitting you,making your hair shine and your eyes squint he swore you had never looked more beautiful.You had somehow gotten your best boy back from punching another boy in the face.Kind of crazy how the universe works.

Elaborate? 👀 I’m interested but I wanna hear ideas u got for fixing it

OH ALL OF IT but to give very specific details about some things that WILL be changed that i thought so far:

DAVEKAT IS CANON DON’T WORRY

they’re all 18+ of course, that’s canon and i dig this

no meat/candy routes. just one timeline in which john goes to fight caliborn WITH the current gang and whoever/if someone dies during that fight it’s not just nor heroic or can be revived by jane as soon as they get back on earth 3

rose isnt super sick but she IS realizing her powers are getting stronger with time. also both her and kanaya have adopted vrissy, imgoingtochangehernameprobablyevenifireallylikeher

dirk breaks the fourth wall n all with his prince of heart powers and keeps his disdain for john and vriska for “stealing his scene”, but that’s the major reason he’s the bad guy. he was built up until that point to be the hero, why do THEY get to defeat the big bad?

dirk keeps his lowkey abilities to manipulate the others via taking over the narration and that’s why jane is the antagonist, but she’s NOT the bad guy. she’s not a racist dictator. she may have some troubles dealing with trolls mostly due her trauma bc the batterwitch and gamzee but she cares for her family and their alien friends

while jade still has LOTS of relationships, she NEVER pushes kk and dave into it. she lived with them for a while as a buddy but the moment she realizes theres something between them she decides to go living with others. at one point she gets in a relationship with a carapace and she DOES get possibly pregnant with TIFFANY, but it would be literally the begnning of the pregnancy so that’s a big question mark for her

vriska is dead and her death is considered both just and heroic. shortly after summoning the beta kids to defeat lord english she dies trying to protect john and stays death. she is no longer relevant and terezi gets to realize that she idolatrized her a little too much, deciding to focus her life on HERSELF rather than vriska

vriska, gamzee (who’s also dies during LE fight idk) and caliborn are no longer relevant characters We Are Moving On

vri/srezi isnt canon

nor is di/rkjake nor ja/kejane because both dirk and jane talked about it god damnit. they did it. they decided it’s not worth losing everyone’s friendship for a crush and they moved on

john thinks about giving aradia and sollux (who did intervene in the fight with LE with davepeta and tavrosprite) the ring to bring them back to life, but ultimately gives it to tavros bc goddamnit he deserves a good ending

needless to say, john doesnt superdie

less overly complex character designs overall if by any chance the kids/new chars will be involved. as i said i honestly like vrissy, tavros, harry anderson and Tiffy, not counting HOW shes here tbh) and their designs are very cute, but they really dont fit in HS

more to come probably i started to think about it one hour ago ansdfmgs

im going to likely tag this as ACT BC, as in “ACT BEYOND CANON”

Canon Call

Warning for a long explanation of this au ^^; Hiya!!! I’m a nepeta kinnie looking for my friends!! Im from a nonsburb humanstuck au, where the trolls and beforus/alternia existed thru larp!!! It was something Aranea and Meenah put together, though i think they only wanted to do it so they could smack eachother with foam weapons ^^;; It was kind of a chain reaction of dragging people in, Aranea and Meenah started it, they pulled in Rufioh who got Tavros and Aradia, Aradia got me and Equius, I pulled Karkitty in, He pulled all the kids (Dave John Rose Jade Jake Dirk Roxy and Jane) with him somehow, and after that the order gets kind of jumbly. I think Gamzee and Mituna were the last ones to join. But the larp became this HUGE thing that I don’t think Meenah and Aranea were really expecting? But it was between all the beta/alpha trolls and kids (though again, humanstuck). I remember working like, super duper hard on my character, and even helping Equhiss with his!! I think me and Terezi were super close, and met thru the game!! Our characters were enemies, but when we werent playing we would plot out what our characters would do next game. Vriska got kicked out even tho her sister was the gm, I think bc she actually started fighting with a real weapon o.o I was dating Feferi and Roxy! I started dating Roxy first, and I think Feferi like kinda had a crush on both of us but didn’t realize Polyamory is a Thing, so when I started talkin about the possibility of bringing a third person into Rox and I’s relationship she like, immediately wholeheartedly volunteered to be with us. I remember my larp character was Very Aromantic, but Roxy’s character Constantly flirted with mine. Oh, and nepeta leijon was my character name!! I don’t really remember my real one yet, but im preeeetty sure it started with a v. Possibly something like Valeria? Or it might have been a flower name idk aa I was pretty short, somewhere between 5′ and 5′5. I had briiight red hair, like almost orange naturally. Freckles covered my face!! I had a very pale skintone, and usually had bandages on my arms or legs bc i roughhoused too much. I was very confused about my gender for a long time, but i think i settled on nonbinary. I used all pronouns tho!! I remember i wore these white cat ears Equhiss gave me like every day to school. I was also Definitely a part of an online warrior cats roleplay group and im pretty sure Roxy was in it too. Thats like all the mems I have other than like, specific events. Please note that i am twenty, and am only comfy talking to folks 15-30. I am also kin with Aradia from this same au with some vague differences (the main one being that it was also a stabdads au) so if ur not comfy w doubles then hecc i guess. I also have a Very Extensive homestuck kin list (which is why i made this blog in the first place) so if you wanna make sure you won’t be uncomfy or i wont be uncomfy, check out my links!! Here are the main folks im looking for and my relationship w them: Feferi (dating) Roxy (dating) Equius (bff foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr) Karkat (That friendship you have purely to annoy eachother but you guys love eachother anyways) Jade (Friends, she played minecraft w me a bunch) Terezi (Close friends and roleplay partners) And I don’t really have anyone from this timeline that I want to avoid!! Come one come all lets rp together and be friends again!!!!!!

showtime

WARNING: eye gore!!, violence Disclaimer: this is..... an au where guy fieri isnt a cool and chill dude that just likes food. i am very sorry for what i do to him in this. i dont mean it and if the cops knock at my door i will blame it on hussie word count: about 3.7k. i am so sorry

context john gets kidnapped by his mom dave doesnt panic

Los Angeles, CA, Wednesday

“No matter what happens, nobody cancels the premiere,” you say. “Okay? No matter what’s in the news. No matter how bad it gets. The movie drops on Thursday, and people are gonna watch it. Got it? This is a scare tactic and we’re not falling for it. Even if the world is ending, we are premiering this movie and going through with the promo. With or without me.”

Catalena, your manager, has been with you for too long to think that you’re joking. She was who flew you in from Houston to LA back when you were twenty, who let you sleep on your couch until you made enough money to get an apartment, who thought that the message you had for the world was one worthy of her help. She knows that all of this is real, and that she can’t stop you.

Her face says, Dave, you’re scaring me. Her mouth says, “You got it. Could you at least tell me… what you think is going to be in the news that would make us not premiere it?”

“Something bad,” you say. “Hopefully, anyway.”

She tilts her head. “Are you faking your death?”

“Lalonde and I are gonna disappear for a sec,” you say. “How people interpret that is gonna be up to them.”

“Not like you to leave things up to chance,” Catalena says. “Some will think it’s elaborate PR.”

“That’s why I’m only telling you. Lalonde and I are gonna frame this to look serious, and no one else is gonna know what’s going on. You keep your cool, but don’t let anyone know that you’re in on it.”

“I mean, I barely am.” She gives you a Look, a capital L Look, then sighs and nods. “Fine. So if I hear about your presumed death tomorrow, I won’t freak out. At what point am I allowed to assume you are actually dead, and freak out a little bit?”

“If you don’t hear from me in a week,” you say, “then Lalonde and I have been killed by Betty Crocker.”

Houston, TX, twelve years ago

You’re blind.

That’s not true. You’re not blind. You don’t think you are going to be blind. There is no way that you’re fully blind, because the assassin only got your right eye, so it doesn’t make sense for you to be blind, but you’re blind.

The pain might originate from your right eye, but it’s engulfing your entire head by now, and there is something sticky in your left eye and you can’t open it anymore and it burns, and you’re going to go blind, and then you’re going to die in a ditch, in a pool of your own blood, and this is it. It’s over. You and your half sister fucked around on the internet a bunch, got really deep into some conspiracy theories, and barely two weeks after you made the discovery that Betty Crocker definitely, undoubtedly, literally is an actual alien, someone was sent to kill you.

They didn’t manage, so far. They got your eye, and they broke your glasses, leaving a cut on your nose, and a bunch of cuts everywhere else, and you think you cracked your head open when you fell. But you cut their knife hand off, good and clean off, watched it fall to the ground right in front of you. By the time it hit the pavement, the assassin had already turned around and ran away, leaving you to crumple and suffer here by yourself.

This is it.

“Strider?” Rose says. Before the blood trickling into your good eye ruined your vision, you managed to dial her number and call her up, and now you’re lying on your side with your phone pressed to your ear, imagining her in her college dorm room in New York. You were going to visit her there, years ago, after you ran away from your parents. It never worked out. Neither of you has the money. You really wish you could have seen her at least once.

“Yeah,” you croak. “You at home?”

“At the dorm, yes. What’s going on?”

“You gotta go. She sent someone after me, she’s gonna come for you too. If she knows that I know, she’ll know that you know.”

One of the most comfortable parts of friendship with Rose, you’ve found, is that she never asks you to clarify what the fuck you’re talking about. Either she just lets you ramble, or she knows exactly what you mean. “Shit,” she hisses, and you can hear rustling on her side of the line, hopefully from her getting ready. She probably has a getaway bag somewhere, you think. You have one, but not on you right now. It’s too late for that.

“They’ve already hit me, so whoever she sent to you can’t be far,” you say. You try to blink your eye open, but then it hurts the other more, and it burns. You can’t even tell where exactly. It just burns. “Hurry up, Lalonde.”

“They’ve hit you?” she echoes, still rustling, breathing into the phone. On the move. Good. “Are you okay?”

“No,” you say. “Gonna call an ambulance after this. Just get the fuck out and text me later, yeah?”

Rose pauses. You can hear her pause, you can hear everything go very silent for a second. She says, “You called me before you called for help?”

“Yeah,” you say. She told you, once, that there is a quick and easy way out the window of her second-storey dorm room, that lets her balance over to her girlfriend’s room only a few windows ahead. She can’t hide there, it’s too close, but it’s a start. She’ll figure it out, she always will. She was the first person to ever have your back. “Of course I did.”

On a plane, Thursday morning

“What’s on your mind?” Rose asks.

You’re leaned back, staring out the window, listening to the clicking of her knitting needles next to you. The pilot here doesn’t know who he’s dealing with, just that he is flying two rich people and their car to Washington, DC. Your Mustang is in the cargo part of the plane, a vital part of the plan. You’ll torch it later. It was the first car you bought with your own money, after SBaHJ had become big and you had finally paid off your hospital debt.

Rose’s apartment isn’t that old, she got it after Roxy was born and she decided to move to Los Angeles, so you could help each other babysit. Trashing it still felt wrong. A home is a home, but you wanted it to look broken into, to make sure that people put two and two together. This isn’t a Dave Strider marketing scheme, you both got hit. After all the work that you’ve done, at least some of the public should understand what that means.

“Us,” you say.

“That’s very sentimental,” she says. “Are you sure you aren’t mourning your car again?”

“Shut up,” you say, and blindly swat at her, hitting her elbow. She hits you back, hand slapping your shoulder. “It’s a good car.”

Rose hums. When you look at her, she’s already back to knitting. You have no idea what she’s making, but it looks like a onesie for an octopus. “We will be fine,” she says. “We have to.”

You nod, and go back to staring out the window, thinking about what Alma said. “It’s just,” you say quietly. “We gotta start thinking about the endgame, here, don’t we.”

“Start?” Rose echoes. “Dave, we know the endgame to this. We’ve known for a while. The second you landed in the hospital with a cut inside your eyeball, you and I both knew that this would end in death.”

You don’t say anything. She’s right, of course she is. You knew then, and she knew, as soon as you texted her from your hospital bed, and she texted you back from a Greyhound bus. And you tried to forget, you both did, for a very long time. You almost managed, for a whole decade, until last year, someone made you scared and angry enough to ram a sword through his throat. Until Rose came and disassembled the body on your rooftop, and then helped you burn it. Reality has caught up with you, and someone is going to die.

The clicking of her needles has stopped again. You turn your head to look at her, and she’s looking back at you, and her face seems younger than it should be. She is just as scared as you are. Neither of you ever wanted it to go this far. Neither of you wanted to kill.

“I don’t like it either,” Rose says. “But someone is going to wind up dead, and it sure as shit isn’t gonna be us.”

Washington, DC, now

)(IC: u comin or what TG: yeah about that

You’re on the hood of your car. The children -- and Sally, John’s pet hedgehog -- are with the one sitter you still trust. Rose is in position, which means she is at a remote location outside the city holding Guy Fieri hostage. She has sent you a picture of him tied to a chair and gagged, which means that it’s go time.

All according to plan.

TG: how about you come kill me somewhere else instead of home sweet home )(IC: why would i do that TG: dying mans last request? )(IC: stfu lol this is so obviously a trap TG: wow ok so is yours )(IC: fair TG: just thought that you know TG: john means something to both of us and dont try to tell me no because i know he does TG: so like can we maybe duke it out somewhere where i wont accidentally blow him to smithereens TG: innuendo intended )(IC: UG)( )(IC: gross TG: lmao TG: anyway bethany you know me and you know im comin with c4 in my backpack if im comin TG: do you really want that around your son or can you just get off your ass and meet me here so john stays safe )(IC: u reely think ya have a fighting chance to even get that far )(IC: buoy you set one foot in my house and ya get spearfished TG: yeah not really making a great point for me to come there rn TG: just thought maybe youd wanna be with your guy guy )(IC: who TG: you know TG: guy the guy )(IC: tf

You text her the picture that Rose sent, just Guy Fieri looking miserable, no indication of whether or not you or Rose are with him.

)(IC: )(-EY )(IC: motherglubber what do u think yoar doin TG: yoar??? TG: thats literally not a word. wym you oar?? what TG: anyway im gonna dismember this asshole if you dont agree to keep john safe and come here and im gonna start with the frosted tips )(IC: FIN--E )(IC: cant effin wait to be done with you )(IC: ill come krill ya if its so shrimportant just gimme the location TG: ok shrimportant is actually pretty funny TG: [coordinates] TG: see you soon

She drives a fuchsia Jaguar that looks like Xzibit threw up all over it, because of course she does. You watch it leave from your perch on your Mustang, then slide off the hood. shes gone, you text Rose. get ready to bounce

Before you leave, you turn back toward you car, and gently pat the roof. “See you soon,” you repeat, “for one last ride.”

Look, it’s a good car, alright.

Later on in the plan, once you’ve convinced John to come with you, and Rose has joined you in the no doubt brutal course out of the house littered with security guards, the three of you will pack into this car, and you will drive. You will be tailed, you know you will. Rose and you estimate two to three SUVs with more security personnel that will follow you, and sooner or later, you won’t stand a chance against them.

So, you’ll call the cops. You don’t usually do this -- even during all these years, neither you nor Crocker ever called the police on each other, and technically, you still won’t, today. You will just anonymously call authorities, and tell them about a burning car by the side of the road. Then you will hang up, and you and Rose and John will hop out of a moving vehicle as you crash your beloved Mustang and have it go up in flames. Authorities will come and find Dave Strider’s infamous car, and hopefully that’ll get people talking.

Crocker’s guys will hopefully exit their cars and go looking for you, or at least for John. It’s an easy con from there -- while they look, you will steal their SUVs and drive off toward your safehouses. Simple. No sweat.

“This better work,” you mutter to yourself, then leave your car behind and start climbing the fence around Crocker manor.

You’ve been here once before, while she was out and John was showing you around. You weren’t actively trying to case the place back then, just spending time with your boyfriend and checking out where he grew up, but you couldn’t help how curious you were. You still remember the most important spots, and you did your best to paint a proper picture of them to Rose (you drew a map in MS Paint), so now you have a pretty good idea of where you need to go.

The guard posts, of course, are randomized. You’ll have to take these as they come, and you feel prepared enough, with just your sword and a handful of knives. You’re wearing the kevlar you wore to the Oscars. You’re gonna be fine.

It’s a race against time now, knowing that there is no guarantee when Crocker will be catching on and returning to her house, and knowing that you stand no chance actually fighting her face to face. You climbed in toward the side of the house, because it’s the shortest distance between fence and wall. The front and back yards are ridiculously huge and opulent, and while you would have plenty of gaudy statues to hide behind, you’re not looking to make your way through there.

The first guard spots you right as you hop down off the fence, and your knife is in his shoulder before he even finishes drawing his gun on you. He’s also wearing a vest, but those don’t stop blades, and you take offense in knowing that she made them dress up like that. As if either you or Rose were going to show up with guns. She really doesn’t know you at all. You knock out the guard with a hit of the knife grip against his temple. Maybe you can get through this without deaths.

One of them you comfortably take out from behind a useless fountain placed in this part of the garden for some reason, appreciating how quiet and low-key you can be about it so far. The bigger the ruckus, the sooner she’ll return, so having them all go down in silence is your best case scenario.

It’s the third guard that ruins your track record. You’re almost at the house wall, and you know you’re under the right window, which means all you have to do is scale it and climb right into John’s room, but for that to work you need to have a clean path behind you. Which you don’t, you realize the second a bullet hits your back.

Your vest catches it, but the momentum still knocks you down, and you scrape both of your palms open on the weird break between lawn and pavement. You hate this fucking garden. Who lives like this? You’re gasping for breath and trying not to inhale any grass, dealing with the reality that this is the first time someone has shot at you and actually hit you, and the bullet might not have penetrated skin at all, but Jesus Fucking Christ it still feels awful. Like someone kicked you in the spine, only with a bullet instead of a foot.

Onward. You hear footsteps behind you, and now it’s your turn to kick, hitting them in the face with your boot in the same motion that you’re pushing yourself up from the ground. As they curse and stumble, you draw your sword, but they catch their footing quickly, and you know you only have a split second to act. That gun is pointing at you, again, or still, and they’re going for your head this time, and if you don’t fight now, the journey ends for you here. Someone is going to die, and it sure as shit can’t be you. Your arm darts forward.

The sword goes through their vest, their ribs, and their heart -- you wouldn’t call it smoothly, you really wouldn’t. You can feel resistance with every inch, you feel it right up to your shoulder, and you hate it, and it makes you want to throw up, but you can’t, now. You shove them off your blade and watch them crumple to the ground, and turn right back toward the wall. They are not getting up again. That’s on you, and you can deal with that later. You have to get moving.

Your phone vibrates.

You manage to pull yourself up on a balcony and crouch there, hiding from whatever is going on in the yard now. Other guards must have heard the shot being fired, so you really need to get the fuck out of sight, but this has to do, for now. If Crocker is messaging you, you have to respond, so she doesn’t think you’re in her goddamn garden.

)(IC: yo )(IC: send me proof yoar still with him )(IC: almost there this betta be worth it TG: one sec

As expected. All according to plan, so far. You hope the blood on your sword won’t make the sheath sticky. You’ll have to clean it, later. You don’t want to.

TG: shes asking for proof TG: go ahead. sorry TT: No worries. TT: I know we don’t endorse violence, but honestly, Dawon, after being in a room with him for this long, I am quite happy to do this.

She sends you a picture, and you grimace at your phone. It takes a lot to make you grimace, as a Strider born and raised -- at the same time, you’re not easily shocked or grossed out, but this isn’t great to look at. Fieri’s eye has been pulled from its socket, dangling down his cheek suspended from the nerve, a hole in the eyeball. You hope Crocker won’t be able to tell that this was done with a knitting needle, and forward the photo to her.

TG: hows this )(IC: )(--EY FUCK OFF )(IC: stop i reely like guy 38( TG: yeah well i really like john TG: eye for an eye TG: hurry it up im waiting and theres a second eye to gauge out )(IC: ten minutes )(IC: ur gonna be so sorry buoy

TG: 10 mins TT: On my way.

Okay. Crocker is on her way to a location where there will only be Guy Fieri and a set of elaborate boobytraps which you know won’t kill her, but hopefully slow her down. Rose is on her way here, to help you and John get out of here. That’s plenty of time you still have. Things are going suspiciously well, you think, before you remember the ache in your back and the fact that you killed someone.

You have to get to John.

He’s another two floors up, but you are right in front of a balcony door. For a second, you wonder if you could get into the house from here and do the rest from inside, so you don’t present yourself to the mob of people with guns in the garden. Unfortunately, before you can do that, another person with a gun appears on the other side of that door, mouths an angry what the fuck at you, and draws an assault rifle. Alright, well.

The thing that has mostly kept you from becoming too violent in the past is the fact that you’re fast, and you’re a great climber, so when you hop backward onto the banister of the balcony and pull yourself up to the next one above you, it happens so fast that nobody in the garden reacts. It’s after you’re already crouching behind the balcony, thankfully made of robust concrete, that the shots start hitting it. You do nothing, count the bullets, wait for them to get rid of half of their magazines down there. Then you pull a knife, peek over the balcony, and throw it right into someone’s bicep.

More shots. More ducking and counting. You have two more knives to throw, and you do, rinse and repeat. The people down there are very angry with you now, and very much still able to shoot, but you figure at least their aim will be off, and they’ll be slower. You hope. You haven’t held a gun yourself in fucking forever.

You take a breath, and jump up to grab the balcony you know belongs to John.

As soon as you’re in the open, another bullet hits your back, further toward your side this time, and you almost let go. You let out an undignified noise instead, and hold on harder, focusing all you have into your arms to pull yourself up. Shots are ringing in your ears, and one hits the concrete right next to your head at almost the same time that another one grazes your leg. You hiss in pain, grunt in exertion, pull, pull, and roll yourself onto John’s balcony.

Someone in the garden yells, “Motherfucker!”

You sit, curled up, and pull apart the tear in your pants with your aching fingers to check the wound. It’s not deep, certainly not as bad as the chunk of missing flesh you have in your arm from being shot at last year. It’s fine. You’ll forget about it in a second, when your newest problem will be telling your amnesiac boyfriend that he needs to come with you.

You pull yourself up into a crouch, not more. You don’t want to risk getting shot in the head as you finally face him, so you just do it like this. Hunkered down, disheveled and bloody, you lean forward and knock on John’s window.

Florida

Pairing: Paul McCartney x Lennon!Reader

Rating: T

Words: 1910

Warnings: Trash writing and very superficial rereading, all my apologies dear readers

Author’s Note: I recommend reading this while listening to early Beatles and other summery 60s tunes. Also I’m kinda tired of fics where John is the overprotective older brother and wanted to explore another facet of his (fictitious) personality... Enjoy!

“Y/N! Oi, Y/N!”

 Carefully lowering your book, you looked at the four soaking wet boys, jumping around in the swimming pool like children.

 “What?”

 “Come replace Ringo, he doesn’t wanna play any more!”

 You raised your eyebrows mockingly and closed the novel.

 “So you only call me when others can’t fulfil your desires?”

 A concert of protestations (‘oh come on Y/N, you know we love you’) answered your questions and you chuckled. John said something to the others and quickly got out of the pool.

 “Don’t be stupid!” he half whispered, sitting next to you on the sunbed. “You can show off your skills… and whatever you have under this dress to Paul.”

 You punched him in the stomach furiously, checking if someone had heard him. Luckily, the other three were discussing about some party they went to, leaving you a little bit of privacy.

 “Shut it, John. This will never be known. Ever.”

 Your brother rolled his eyes and pushed your legs to have more space.

 “I thought you were the brightest in the family, Y/N, but apparently not. The man’s head over heels for you for a long time now, it’s pathetic.”

 “Yeah, about that, I don’t believe you. You already tricked me back in fifth grade with Dave, remember? I’m not falling in your daft pranks again.”

 He groaned and shook you by the shoulders, his impatience becoming more visible by the minute.

 “Oh my god, Y/N, when will you stop being so stubborn and just accept the fucking truth! He loves you, you love him, it’s like one of our songs! Can’t believe I’m saying that, but why can’t you just make a damn move and stop looking like a lost puppy?”

 You froze, confused.

 “Admitting it was true… It doesn’t bother you? Your best friend and your sister?”

 “To be honest? At first it kinda did, but after almost six years of this, I’m exhausted. And I know Paul’s a pretty good guy. I swear, if you don’t make a move, I will, and you’ll find yourselves locked in a cupboard or something.”

 “And may I know why you didn’t address this inspiring speech to your buddy?”

 “He won’t listen. Y/N, he so in love he thinks you’re too good for him, which, between us, is complete shit, no offen-”

 He cackled as you smacked him again, this time more gently. You considered his words for a moment. The Florida sun shined above your heads, glittering on the limpid water of the pool and on Paul’s skin. Yeah, you could not help it; you had been sneaking peaks above your book for a while now, and it was worth it. The way he was punching the ball with an unusual precision, arching his tanned back to protect his teammate, the manner in which he laughed when John would jump in the most random places because he refused to wear his glasses and had no idea what was going on… He was perfect. You did not believe something would actually happen with him, but it was worth a try, was it not?

 “Okay, whatever, you win. But first, let’s play.”

 You got up and took off your beach dress in a matter of seconds, throwing it on your brother before diving in the pool. The water was at just the right temperature, and you swam to the surface with a smile brightening your features.

 “That’s my girl!” cheered John.

 Spotting George on your left, you swam to him.

 “Harrison, I hope you’re good!”

 “Oh, I’m okay. Let’s see what you’ve got.”

 “Well, I’m better than John… How’s Pattie?”

 From the other side of the fillet, Paul was watching you converse with George, trying to hide his blush. Seeing you in your white bikini made him all flustered, and your confidence when you plunged in the water dazzled him. Back in England, you were the most beautiful woman he had ever had the chance to meet. Under the Miami sun, you were looking so radiant that he started to wonder if you were surreal.

 “Hey, I know you’re in love and I wish you all the best, but I’d really appreciate if you could stop checking out my sister with those eyes, thanks.”

 Turning around, Paul sent a splash of water in John’s direction, earning a mocking snicker in return.

 “Okay, fellas, are we playing or what?” you asked, going to your position.

 Ringo sent the ball in the air and before anyone could move, you jumped and caught it, passing in to George who smashed it to the other side. Not ready for this attack, the other two did not have the time to stop, and Paul turned to you, eyebrows up. Feeling bold after you victory, you winked at him playfully as you hand fived George.

 The game did not last long as George and you won almost every set, though you were suspecting Paul to play purposely bad because John was yelling at him the whole time. The four of you decided to take a break when Ringo told you the food you had ordered had arrived, making George rush to the kitchen. You exited the pool and started drying off with your towel when Paul passed by you.

 “Nice bathing suit,” he observed before proceeding inside the villa.

 Stupefied, you watched him join the others, you heart pounding against your chest. Could it be possible that John’s suggestions were true? No, Paul was flirty with everyone, even the sixty-four-year-old maid who took care of the cleaning.

 Shaking your head, you entered the house too and changed rapidly in the nearest bathroom into another dress, brand new, bright red and much shorter than the first. You ran a hand in your hair and sprayed the spots under your ears with your usual perfume before smiling to your reflection in the mirror. Your brother was right: it was no use to continue like that, and you were soon going to find out what Paul was actually thinking of you.

 You walked in the kitchen and spotted your target helping himself from the foods he wanted. Taking a seat next to him, you brushed his hand as you moved yours to reach the bottle of sparkling water at his right, lingering against his skin a few seconds more than what you would normally do, and casually leaned into him. He stopped right there, his fork immobilized in mid-air, to glance at you, to which you boldly responded with a dazzling smile. Returning to your personal space, you took a deep breath. Were you about to destroy one of the friendships that you cherished the most just to talk about your feelings? Possibly.

 “Hey Y/N, when will we have the honour to see all the pictures you took?”

 John’s voice broke your train of thoughts. You squinted your eyes at him, perfectly knowing what he was doing: a photographer’s inspiration was things, sceneries…or, in this case, people he or she loved. 

 “Oh… I don’t think that’s a good idea, they’re just amateur stuff.”

 “C’mon, we won’t judge, promise!”

 Frowning, you were about to refuse when you crossed Paul’s hazel gaze again. You did not know how he did it, but you instantly melted in front of his doe eyes, especially when they were looking at you like that. Damn, that man sure knew how to make a girl feel special.

 “Okay. But don’t you dare mess them up with a sauce or something. And don’t steal stuff from my plate. Yes, that also goes for you Geo.”

 Running to your bedroom, you grabbed the pack of photographs and returned to the kitchen. John put his hand out to take them but you pushed it away, handing them to Ringo instead. The other three rushed behind him, curious as hell. Leaning in as well, you were now able to see them upside down as the boys checked them out.

 George stealing a biscuit from Ringo’s plate at breakfast, John with his old Buddy Holly glasses, offering his most mischievous grin to the camera, the boys playing with a ball or chilling on their sunbeds… The list goes on.

 You moved a little, getting slightly uncomfortable, as you knew what was to come. Ringo moved to the next shots: Paul, sitting on the sofa next to the window, laughing at something John had said. Paul, his toothbrush in hand, making a face at the camera. Paul playing the guitar. Paul trying to cook your favourite dessert, covered in flour. Paul next to the record player, a dozen LPs in his arms. Paul, half-asleep in front of the television. Paul, Paul, and Paul again and again…

 Suddenly silent, the boys looked at you with some sort of hesitation. You motioned to John to leave with a small movement of the chin; you two had developed a multitude of body signs when you were living with Aunt Mimi. For once, he listened to you and took George and Ringo by the collars of their shirts.

 “Come on, children, mommy and daddy need to talk.”

 Hearing them close the door behind them, you finally turned your attention to the one left. Leaning against the counter, he was observing you. Conscious of your reddened cheeks, you coughed a little.

 “Paul, I-”

 “Y/N, I love you.”

 “Wh- What?”

 He walked around the table and sat on his chair, an uncertain smile dancing on his lips.

 “I have loved you for a very, very long time now. God, you were – you are – so incredible. How could I not love you? And I never thought anything would be possible between us, but after seeing these, I’m hoping… I’m finally able to hope.”

 You stared at him for a moment, not quite believing what was happening. So, after all this time, John was right? You had truly wasted so many years of what could have been the most wonderful relationship of your life because of your stubbornness and inexistent self-esteem.  

 …How could you have been so blind?

 “Darling, please say something.”

 Shaking off all the confusion and replays of the past few years in your head, you chuckled at the sight of him. He was waiting, all flustered, his fingers unconsciously tapping the wooden table.

 “Paul, believe me, the feeling is mutual. I was actually going to confess myself some time soon but you’ve beat me to it…and I’m glad you did.”

 His smile grew wider and he moved closer, his eyes sparkling with a new light. You gently cupped his face in your hands, softly rubbing your thumb across his cheekbone.

 Oh god, that was it.

 His lips were soft, and had caught yours with an incredible dexterity. Tilting your head, you slowly ran your fingers through his chest to link your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Every inch of your bodies was connected, making you wish for more. You broke off the kiss to put your legs around his waist, to which he quickly obliged with a smug grin, peppering occasional butterfly kisses on you neck. You were about to dive into another embrace when the door suddenly opened, startling you both.

 “C’mon fellas, I think it’s safe now… Oh no – Jesus Y/N – abort mission, abort!”

 “But I need to finish my pastrami!”

 “Well I’m gonna have nightmares for the rest of my life after seeing my baby sister make out so I think your pastrami will have to wait.”

In My Life (d.d imagine)

Summary: David reminisces his life story with the one girl he will always love, in all of his life...

Word Count: 2629

 "Mr.Dobrik, everyone's going downstairs to watch a movie, do you want to go see it?" Karen asked, coming into David's room. "What movie?" He asked her. "Charlie's Angels," She smiled. "I'm okay tonight Karen. Could I just get a blanket? It's a little chilly tonight," David said. At the age of 70, he still had a wonderful smile. "Of course, here you go," She said grabbing the blue blanket off his bed. "If you need anything else, just ring the bell," Karen said, walking away. David put his book down. He sighed as he looked over at the picture of her. She was so giggly, so pretty and so smart. David loved her more than anyone in his life. He thought back to the first day they met. July 18th, 2018. "Oh my god! It's David Dobrik!" shit. David turned around to a swarm of people. Teenagers alike, some even wearing merch, all gathered around him wanting a picture. "Hey! Hey guys!" He said over the crowd. He just wanted a new hat, not a stampede. He knew it was only a matter of time before the Grove security would come around and either a) clear out the group or b) kick David out. David took a few pictures, signed a few articles, and hugged his fans. As weird as this is to him still, he was grateful for every second of it. He wouldn't have it any other way. He had loyal fans who cared about him, and that still wasn’t registered in his mind. Through the mob of people, he did catch eyes with a girl. She was in the way back of the crowd. She smirked at him and looked back at her friends. Then she walked, yet David realized that she wasn't too far, just getting a pretzel. He would look back at her every now and again. Soon enough, Grove security came around and crushed the mob. David thanked them generously, and then went to the pretzel stand. "Hi," He said. The girl turned around and smirked. "Hey," She said. "I saw you in the mob and I wanted to make sure you were okay," He said, his words getting caught on his tongue. She was prettier up close, he was amazed by her eyes and how her smirk made him already feel things he hadn't felt. "Yeah I'm fine, but thanks for checking," She said. "Did you want a picture?" He asked. She sighed and said in the sweetest voice, "I'm really sorry, but who are you?" She started to laugh. She felt terrible like she was supposed to know who he is. "David Dobrik, I'm a YouTuber," He said. He hated using that word. She was immediately impressed. "I'm (Y/N) (Y/L/N), that's such a cool job! I work in American Eagle," She laughed. "Hey! Whatever makes the money right?" He said. They went quiet for a while. She was finding him attractive. The way his eyes scanned all his surroundings and how his tongue poked outside of his teeth. "You want one?" She offered him a pretzel bite. "No, I'm good!" He said. Except, David really wanted one. "No, I insist," She said, putting one in his hand. He smiled and thanked her. As he chewed on the treat she wrote down her number, handed it to him and walked away. David didn't waste any time and called her the next day, already setting up times to get her to meet his crazy friends. The memory made David smile. Every time he had Aunt Annie's he thought of her, they once had outside vendor day at the folk's home and oddly enough, they had the pretzels. David got two buckets. One for him and one for her. Even if she couldn't have any. It was the time of night he loved the most, post dinner and his relax time, but tonight he spent it reminiscing. He thought about the first time she went to Vernon Hills with him. October 22nd, 2018. "You know, I hate flying. You are so lucky I appreciate you!" She joked. Except, she hated flying. David thought she was kidding. As Jason, Zane, Heath, and Todd checked their bags, she printed their tickets. "Hey!" David called out to her. "You wanna sit with me on the plane?" He asked. She frowned, "I promised Todd" David nodded and looked down. "But, I can sit with him on the way back." She laughed, to which David smiled. They went through security and got closer to the gate. This was when she started to become quieter. "Hey, you okay?" Jason asked her. "Yeah, planes just freak me out a bit," She dry laughed. Heath frowned and said, "Don't worry! You have a higher chance of dying on a car crash than you do on a plane," He smiled. She smiled and looked for David. Her stomach had butterflies growing in it and her hips went numb. "Gate 24 we are now boarding, first class," The woman came over the speaker. She felt her body tense up. David noticed but didn't say anything, except Todd, did. "What's wrong?" He said. He put his arm around her. "I'm scared of planes," She said. "It's okay, don't worry!" She handed her pass the lady. Her hands began shaking. David caught up with her as they went to their seats. "(Y/N), Is everything okay?" He asked. She wanted to say something snarky like she would but instead was reaching deep into her bag for her Xanax. "Yeah, just one minute," She grabbed her water and took half the pill. "I'm sorry, I'm just really scared of planes." She said, looking at him. Her eyes were watering and she felt tense. David put his arm around her, and she melted into him. "I got you, just focus on me, okay?" David smiled at the scared girl. As the plane took off she buried herself into him. He smiled because he felt important to him. "Ladies and Gentlemen we are up in the air!" She breathed. He breathed. "Okay okay, I'm good." She said, falling back into her seat. David sipped from his water and fell asleep. He didn't know that while he was asleep, she was thinking about him. She thought about how he was so caring, so loving, so ho-. She got scared now, not because of the plane but because she knew she liked him. Vernon Hills was unlike anything she had seen before, she understood why David loved it so much, yet, she also didn't It seemed like nothing was there. She was a woman of her word and did sit with Todd on the way home. That oddly made David jealous for some reason he couldn't understand. Floating back into real time, David took another look at the picture, them in the park. "Hey, you still up?" "Jared! Could you please take this blanket off of me, I'm too hot!" He said to his son. "Sure thing Dad, I was gonna bring the girls today but Madison and Claire are both kinda sick, I didn't wanna chance anything," David was just getting over a wicked cold. "Ah I see, how's your sister?" He said. "She's good, I haven't seen her in a while," Jared said. "I haven't seen her either," David said. Sadie just wasn't the same anymore. "But, I did see the kids recently, John went on a camping trip, Cathrine has a school show next week and Melanie made it on her math team!" Jared said, telling his Dad about Sadie's kids. "I miss them," David said. "What were you doing?" Jared asked. "Just thinking that's all," David said. Jared was talking to him but David was zoning in and out. He thought of the first time he had kissed her. December 29th, 2018. "Dave! Loosen up a bit!" Scott said, tugging at his tie. "I am loose, just tryna get some footage," He said. In all honesty, he was watching her. In the sparkly dress, be talked to by every boy that came her way. "Stop worrying about her, she's fine," Scott said. David scoffed. "I'm not worrying, I'm just-" "Jealous?" Scott said. "Maybe a little," David said. "Well, just go talk to her, vlog her." Scott said. He nodded and walked over to her. "Hey!" He said she turned around with a glass of champagne. "Hey! I've been looking for you," She said all bubbly. It was true, she was looking for him and this made David feel irresistible. The clock read 11:50 pm. "10 minutes until 2019!" She was all excited. "I know! Do you have any resolutions?" He asked her. He wasn't a fan of small talk nor was he a fan of how slowly time was at parties. "You know I always say work out but I never do," She giggled. "Well, why would you need to? You've got a great body, you're beautiful!" He said, catching himself. David didn't wanna ruin a friendship but he also wanted something more. 11:53 pm. "Thanks, Davey," She said, punching his arm. He felt like he was in a movie, he pinched himself to make sure he wasn't in a movie. "What about you? Any new vlog ideas?" She asked him. 11:56 pm. "I wanna try to branch out of the vlogs, maybe a popup shop, more merch. But I also wanna work on myself, you know?" He said. She nodded and sipped from her champagne, "Want some?" She laughed. "Now does that sure sound familiar..." He said, his voice trailing upwards. 11:58. "Everyone gather round!" People started crowding the TV. "Here's to a bright and successful new year!" Zane said, his glass high. "And to meeting new friends!" Matt said, pointing at her. She was wrapped around David as she was a little tipsy. "You know, I should tell you this-" "Dave, it can't wait? Were about to countdown!" She laughed. "10,9,8-" The crowd started. "Meeting you was the best thing to ever happen to me!" He shouted over the crowd, "7,6,5-" "That's so sweet!" She said. "4,3,2" "I have to tell you, I think I-" "1, Happy New Year!" Out of pure want, she pulled him close and kissed him. "Like me?" She asked him. Her eyes sparkled and his eyes did too. "Yes." He said simply. "Dad?" David was brought out of his trance. "I'm gonna go now okay? Claire needs me, I'll see you on Tuesday!" Jared said. "Okay Jar, oh speaking of dates, what's today's date?" David asked his son. "It's May 17th, 2066,  you and Mom's 45th anniversary," He said smiling. David smiled and nodded. 45 years ago today he married the best woman he ever laid eyes on. "Are you nervous?" His brother asked him. "Nervous? No, I'm just shocked still Toby," He said. As young as he was he could understand little things. May 17th, 2021, it would be the day he would set in stone things with her, things he had been waiting to do since she met her on that fateful day. "Who's ready?" Jason asked walking in. To the surprise of many, David had chosen Jason to be his best man, Jason was like an L.A. father to him. "I am but I'm incredibly nervous," He said. "You are a confusing man!" Toby said. "David, when you see her walk down that aisle all of those nerves go away. You will see her there, in all white and feel all the feelings you felt and those will never leave you," David nodded and Jason was right. She walked down the aisle in white and lace, her arm around her Fathers and the hum of the choir and instruments rained throughout the church. He cried, he knew they would be together since day 1 and this showed 100% how he felt. She was dripped in the thread and moving towards him his heart was full. In all of his life, he loved her the most. Thinking to now, David remembered their honeymoon in Hawaii...and also remembered 9 months later Jared Palo Dobrik. Yes, a honeymoon baby indeed but one of the best babies out there. Jared slept all the time and just loved both his parents. He was a daddy's boy, and the two always got into mischief until the day Sarah Paisley Dobrik came into his life. Sadie was a version of her mother. She was her, and David loved her just as much. Sadie and her mom grew incredibly close and it was the four of them a ride or die. David taught them that family was the most important thing. The family became the most important thing when on August 12th, 2056, when the light of David's life was hit by a car. She spiraled out and it was up to David, at age 60 to take care of her. "David, you are too good to me," she said. "(Y/N), you have given me two wonderful children, which have given us 5 wonderful grandchildren, how could I not give back to you," David fed her soup, read her books, watched movies with her. Even up until the day she died she'd say to him, "You know, I've loved a lot of people in my life. But I've loved you more,". And during that day, November 24th, 2061, she told him how she wanted to be with the family. It was Thanksgiving day! Not to mention her favorite holiday. David gave her turkey that night with a little bit of stuffing. He kissed her and told her that he loved her. He left to go back to the family until he got the call, she had gone into a coma. Of course, he rushed over to the hospital and sat with her. As Jared came with his kids and Sadie came with hers, this may be the last time they'd ever see her. Sadly, she couldn't speak. Sadie cried in her Dad's arms, he shushed her yet tears fell from his eyes. Their lives flash all before their eyes. David mostly, he had lost Jason and now he was losing her. The next day, November 25th, 2061, She passed away. Sadie was never the same, Jared didn't understand and David sold the family house, all in the course of two months. He moved into Sunny rode Old Folks home and lived there peacefully. At the funeral, he'd recite words to their favorite song, an old song, one that most people in the room had never heard. She loved the Beatles and "In My Life" was her favorite song. David couldn't sing so he sat and recited each word, saying what it meant to them. Until the last person had left, him alone, with pretzel bits and a casket. He went home that night and slept the next day. Now, a few years later he was doing much better. Everyone was, it was the process of moving on. It was the process of life. He took one last look at the picture, he placed it on his bedside table and got into bed. Shutting off the light and grabbing the blue blanket, one of the last things he had of her. "You know, in all my life I've loved a lot of people. But I will always love you the most,"

In which I rant about Homestuck and Girls

I don’t hate the girls in Homestuck but I do hate how the fandom and even the source material handles them. I cannot stand how Nepeta is often reduced to this cutesy little girl who needs Equius to hold her hand, how Aradia’s personality is basically just straight-up ignored, or how Kanaya is sometimes either made the Mom Friend for gags or the Sexy Lesbian Vampire as if she has no other traits. I hate how Terezi and Feferi are treated like they did nothing wrong, as if Terezi didn’t get John KILLED on one timeline, and Fef’s ideals weren’t thinly veiled/rose-colored castism, and don’t even get me STARTED on Vriska.

I want to like Vriska, not only because I’m a Scorpio but because for the most part, she really is a badass, but she’s also a giant fucking bitch who never really faces the consequences of her actions. The closest we get is Tavros telling her off towards the end and even that is mild compared to her: Paralyzing him under the claims of making him stronger Murdering him later  Making Sollux murder Aradia  Blinding Terezi  Using John to one-up Terezi (which Terezi also did with Dave which is kinda fucked on both their parts, like wtf) 

True, she feels genuine remorse for killing Tavros but that doesn’t stop her from treating him like shit in the afterlife. And after all of this she STILL gets to be the hero of the story, she STILL gets to be the one thing that basically fixes the timeline, she ultimately gets what she wants and I hate it.  

And then there’s Terezi; cool, cooky, I love her scalemates and her serious knowledge about Alternian law and loyalty to her friends but the way she (and Kanaya for that matter) lets herself get wrapped up in Vriska’s bullshit is so, ugh! Like I pointed out, her whole thing with Dave started out as a competition between her and Vriska (I think she even says as much? I’d have to go back and check) which is shitty because she literally fucking uses Dave’s own insecurities when it comes to John to push him forward at her pace. Granted, both her and Vris kinda ease up and turn it into a friendship with their respective humans but that doesn’t exactly excuse the behavior. (I’m not too happy that they both lead into relationships the more I think about it, even if they both eventually fell through. That’s just, that’s not a good way to start a relationship).

There’s already a comprehensive post about Feferi’s shit/possible shit.

And then you have Kanaya, Nepeta, and Aradia who basically get their personalities fuckin neutered by a good portion of the fandom. While the Mom Friend jokes can be funny with Kan, its overplay and kinda tiring though admittedly preferable to Diva persona I saw a lot of people give her in early fandom, and anyone who makes Nepeta into a weak, baby owo girl who needs Equius to protect her is gonna catch these hands because Nep has proved to be one of the strongest and most capable of the trolls; fucking Equius would take out your kneecaps if he heard you talking about her that way. And Aradia? Like shit, it's like some of y’all just completely ignored her after she godtiered. (I know her personality was present before that but after is when she really shined) She’s funky and weird and kinda creepy and I wish more people would like be into that you know? Like I wish she and Jake and Dave could have been friends because you know those three would have gotten into so much trouble together.

Which leads to the human girls and gods do I wanna scream. Rose’s more “dorky” interests like writing wizard stories, gaming (as she was the most excited of the four for sburb if memory serves me) are often ignored in favor of playing her off as the “cool gof GF”. She’s not cool, none of the Strilonds are actually cool in the common sense of the words, they’re all fucking dorks. She literally psychoanalysis her friends for fun and spends a whole page (2 pages?) butchering sports with Dave. 

Jade, I found, was often dumbed down to the ditzy “blond” friend for a while, though I’m not sure if that still pervades her tag or not, but I have another beef with her that I’ll get to in a second. 

Roxy is often toted as the end all be all of NonProblematic Kids when they have Emotionally Abused Dirk  Almost killed Jane  Acted like Jake was stupid (then again, most of his friends did)  That’s not to say Roxy doesn’t TRY; they’re very aware of the harm they’ve caused to their friends and actively try to do better but that, like Terezi, that doesn’t mean you just get to ignore the shit they did. 

And Jane, Christ, Jane. She gets kicked by the majority of the fandom and even her friends and few times but the moment she claps back or makes a mistake (like telling Roxy she liked them better when they were drunk), she gets dunked on by what feels like everyone and their mother. Yes, Jane can be shitty at times but considering  Her crush basically manipulated her into the friendzone and then nonstop talked about his boyfriend problems for months (including on her OWN BIRTHDAY)  She was fatshamed and sexually harrassed(?) by Caliborn Roxy blew up her computer which could have killed her  Everything in general just going to shit Can you really blame her? Granted that doesn’t mean she should get away with the horrible things she’s said/done either like the aforementioned Roxy convo or, at least to some extent, her threats of sexual slavery against Jake. 

Which brings me to my big issue I mentioned with Jade; What’s with the human girls getting their agency stolen? Grimdark/bark, Trickster, Crockertier?? Like seriously, wtf?? Granted, Trickster happened to all the alpha kids and they were mostly aware so that one’s a little grasping for straws but the others? Like wtf man???

Hihi!! I absolutely loved the moirail Eridan headcanons you made ^^ Would it be okay to request another thing? How about headcanons of a reader who is in a romantic relationship with John and is moirals with Eridan? John and Eridan don’t have any kind of romantic feelings for each other or anything. How do you think a relationship with those three turn out? [[also ty again ^^]]

Eridans moirail dating John hcs

- eridan seriously doesn’t get what you see in this idiot? Seriously? He figured his beloved moirail would have better taste than this. The guy is a next level idiot, he swears he is just losing braincells one by one by just having a conversation with the guy.

- While John just doesn’t like Eridan that much either! He tried being nice to him and getting along with him but he’s so rude! Kinda a self centered prissy type, in his opinion. He doesn’t know how you’re so close to the guy!

- both of them have their individual opinions of eachother, but would try to get along for your sake! Eridan might be hesitant at first, but John is more hellbent on the two of them getting along because he really wants you and him to work out and he cares about you! If this is what you want then it’s what you get!

- they try, but eridan is a needy moirail! He always wants to spend time with you, and while John can certainly compliment any new looks eridan gives you (cause damn, he has good fashion sense), he does like spending time with you too and is rather clingy! Sometimes he joins in while him and eridan argue behind your back.

- often complains to Dave about this though, because he doesn’t wanna be too intense and whatnot with his clinginess (in contrast to eridan who simply doesn’t care)

- and John never talks badly about eridan, cause he doesn’t wanna upset you … eridan however will tell you how annoyingly stupid the human is

- the two would have platonic banter though! And try to make you happy despite everything !

- I think they could learn to eventually be friends though, and have a friendship where John says stupid shit and eridans just like “John for fuck sakes”