#i think the beginning and end are a little weaker but tbh the middle was soooooo fun and funky fresh and cool so i liked it lots
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concert report, I guess
Idk if anyone wants to hear this, but here’s my memories from the Lindemann show in Leipzig, 14th february 2020. Keep in mind, all of this is my own opinion, I don’t mean to attack anyone here, and that I could easily be mistaken with some, my memory loves playing games with me :^) Also if you’re still to attend a concert and don’t want to be spoilered, avoid this, obviously.
Waiting.
Drove by bike to the venue, arrived at around 1.30/2pm. Around 15 people were already there, waiting. They were really nice altogether. Into 3pm, people started to form a disciplined queue. Shitty weather, but at least no heavy rain. Cold, though. 4pm; I decided to drive back home to get rid of our bag (on my way to the bikes a man in his fifties asked me who’s playing tonight, pointing at the crowd, bewildered, I responded “Lindemann, front singer of Rammstein”, he was like “I read he was born here!!” super excited that he knew – he was cute lol so confused by how crazy people are); got into a rather unpleasant rainfall on my way back to the venue. 5pm; people were told to not stand on the street, so people gathered all around us, ignoring the built queue from before; assholes tried to cut in line. Got really crowded, people in front us were still being really kind and considerate, people behind us not so much. Last hour went by quickly, good company around us, save for some idiots. 6.30pm; security let us in – people from behind were pushing, not cool.
Inside the venue, it was really chill, I even waited for @haifisch-ohne-traenen, walked inside, people gathered around in the middle, low-key ran to our spot in the first row, right in front of Peter AW YEAH!!!
Another wait til 8pm, filled with squeezing through people to get to the toilet and back, and chatting with the two guys behind us.
Jadu.
Shit, I’m so gay. She literally owned the stage so hard and her band mates were so cute and the keyboarder interacted with us a lot, he kept grinning at us whenever he saw us singing along; a perfect opening to an awesome night.
Aesthetic Perfection.
Surprisingly good tbh? Wasn’t the biggest fan after listening to some songs on youtube, but they’re a banger live. Really set the mood for the main act.
Lindemann.
Oh boy, where to start. First thing we saw was a video of Till in a diaper, with a bald head and the goggles from drsg’95 (at least I think it were those?), running and dancing around on the street, sucking his thumb (note: I reckon this video was shot a couple years ago). Actually hilarious, a surprisingly, and welcome, light hearted start to the show.
I’m just gonna go through this song by song, because I suck at remembering things and need some kind of guidance lol.
Skills in Pills
Good song, good opener. The crowd went apeshit, it felt like the air was exploding, really unbelievably powerful. Peter was looking at us (naturally, because we were quite literally in his face), making faces, which he kept doing throughout the whole concert. Till was wandering across the stage, it seemed like he was noticing a lot of people, esp. in the first row, including us, huehue.
Ladyboy
One of my favorite Lindemann songs. Was so cool seeing and hearing it live, I went absolutely wild. I think this was the first time they changed places, and Jonathan (the one with the braided pigtails) came over to us, and whoops I fell in love.
Fat
Not the biggest fan of the song, admittedly. Still a good one. Good placement. The first time I glanced at the screen behind them, only did it one or two times more. I came here for the music, not some fucked up porn clips, I can easily find those on pornhub, thank you.
Ich Weiß Es Nicht
Never liked the verse, but the chorus is so touching to me, idk why. Sang my heart out at the chorus.
Allesfresser
Okay so I came prepared. I knew what was gonna happen. First half of the song was incredible, another fav song. Screamed my head off. Then, cakes were brought and ngl, it kinda took away from this awesome song for me. I really, really did not want to end up having cake smeared all over me by the first third of the concert. So I watched out for them, praying that they wouldn’t aim in our direction. Ended up with a few lil teeny tiny sprimkles on my arm and in my hair (that actually came from a cake Jonathan yeeted over our heads :3c), nothing too bad. Cake was actually delicious. Last cake was thrown by Sebastian, Peter’s son, Till was standing in the middle, in front of the drums, stealthily (so he thought) pointing to our side, but Sebastian didn’t catch it and threw it into the audience across from us and boy, you should’ve seen Till’s face lol. He looked so mad, internally. Also I was really happy to get to rewatch a clip from Hänsel und Gretel on the screen.
Frau & Mann
I have never seen a crowd go that hard to a song. Probably the loudest on the audience’s side. Was jumping a lot, Till came over a lot. Guess bobbing boobs really are an efficient Till-magnet. Actually, when the line “Kann dich nicht vergessen” (“Cannot forget you”) came on, Till pointed directly at us, like no fucking lie, we just froze. I know, I can’t be for sure, blah blah, but come on, just let me believe he pointed directly at us ok. There’s a video on youtube, where you see him pointing into the crowd at that line, that’s where we stood.
Knebel
Best choice they could’ve made regarding the placing of the song. Everyone was still hyped up from Frau & Mann, Knebel topped it. Starting out so calm and lovely, I really like the first half of the song. Beautiful lighting, they were so pretty in the blue light. Scream point hit, Lindemann hoaxed us into screaming MUND but made a break, Till shaking his head at us. Haha. Funny funny. Eh. I knew it was gonna happen, so it fell a bit flat for me personally, but okay I guess. Crowd went absolutely apeshit. So insane.
Home Sweet Home
Beautiful song, so heartfelt and a really good way to calm down after Frau & Mann and Knebel. Almost cried, ngl.
Cowboy
I. Fucking. Love. This. Song. Second time I looked at the screen and wow ngl, Till looked really good on the rodeo machine thing with his cowboy hat on lol. Also the song where Jonathan came over again and I made a heart with my hands and he smiled at me and :’)))
Golden Shower
Such a good song. My heart went big badum badum every time Peter shouted “Cunt” into the mic right in front of us, it felt like we were bonding just through shouting “Cunt” in unison lol. Also there was this part of them taking turns in raising their arms to the audience in time to the music, and I was laughing my ass off, because while Peter, Jonathan, and Sebastian all were perfectly in synch with the beat, Till always was a tad off and idk man, this shit was just so funny to me like c’mon Till, it’s not that hard.
Blut
Ah, yes. Like I said, we came prepared. We had our hoodies safely (and dryly) brought to the coatroom before the concert started so we were READY to get wet. The one thing I didn’t know though, the sprinkler system at the edge of the stage started right at the beginning of the song. I expected it to go off in like the middle of the song, or with the first chorus. So, sprinklers started, I saw the water coming. I thought “ah okay it’s just a little drizzle”, but boy, I was wrong. It felt like we were soaked after the second (and last) time we got sprayed. And actually? It was so nice. You know how concerts just make you all sweaty and drain your body from all water? I wouldn’t recommend trying to drink the water that was sprayed over us (it just had a weird smell to it, idk), but it was a welcome cooling, in that moment. Just imagine you feel like a little crop in the blazing sun, and then, finally, you get watered. Bye bye make up, but I just didn’t care lol. I don’t want to know what we looked like after that song. About the song itself; I didn’t mind the “interruption” at all, Blut is a decent song imo, but nothing more, so it didn’t bother me as much as the cake war during Allesfresser.
Platz Eins
Another top fav song for me. I’m not quite sure how to describe it, but Till and Peter climbing into that balloon thing and shuffling “out of reach” actually heightened my hype?? Like I could concentrate on really letting go during the song, screaming the lyrics out like there was no tomorrow. Also watching Jonathan and Sebastian’s little choreography was so entertaining. Jonathan being lifted up high also was something for the eye, at least for me :^) Also I remember the light show because it was gay. As in, so many vibrant rainbow colors. When Till and Peter returned to their starting point, Till climbed out, and Peter was holding his nose like Till just farted lol. The balloon started deflating and Peter mouthed an “OH NO” and when he climbed out, he made jazzy hands like “hell yeah guys I made it, I didn’t die in here”. Peter is a good man.
Praise Abort
Tbh, I don’t have many memories for this one. For me, one of Lindemann’s weaker songs, although it still slaps, don’t get me wrong. Just not one of my favorites. Only thing I remember is being happy about seeing the ballerinas from the mv on the screen in the background.
Fish On
Here we go again. After Praise Abort, I asked @haifisch-ohne-traenen if we wanted to change places, she looked at me like “You sure?” and I was like “Yeah, absolutely” – “You know which song comes next?” – “Oh. Nevermind lol”. I like Fish On, it’s my ringtone, but like with Allesfresser, the anticipation of the chances of getting hit by a fish kinda ruined the song for me. I couldn’t enjoy it as much. Also I was wondering why they needed so much time between Praise Abort and Fish On just to throw on this stupid raincoat. We successfully avoided all fish. A lot of them were thrown back on the stage by the audience, two of them hitting Till on the leg and arm, and one of them bowling down Till’s water bottles that stood in front of the drums. Also, when all fish were thrown, someone handed Till a last plate of fish pieces that he threw into the audience, but it slipped out of his hands and the plate went flying across the stage, shattering on a speaker and almost hitting the security guard that stood in front of us. I swear, that guard looked like he wanted to murder Till right at the spot lol (Also, this security guard was cute; he greeted us before the concert like “hi I’ll be your guardian for the next three hours”, he took pics of some people from the first row for them, and before the concert started, he got himself some gummy bears which he stuffed into his pocket to snack during the concert).
Ach So Gern
I was so mad about this?? But at the same time I was not?? So when they started Ach So Gern, they played the tango version and I was like !!! YES and I got all hyped up because I low-key hoped that, maybe, for valentine’s day, they’d switch the pain version for the tango version, but they didn’t. I guess if they HAD played the tango version though, I probably would’ve been mad I didn’t get to hear the pain version lol. The pain version definitely is more suited for a concert, I guess. And I still love it. Praise Peter. Seriously, he’s a god of music, just accept it.
Steh Auf
Incredible energy in the room when everyone’s screaming “Steh auf” on the top of their lungs. One of the most powerful songs live. Also Jonathan came over to us again and [insert heart eyes emoji].
Gummi
Okay, everyone slander me, but I really didn’t like this song as the finishing song. I don’t exactly love this song and I always skip it whenever I listen to F&M, so this was the only song I didn’t know the full lyrics to. It just doesn’t have either a specifically “deep” feeling to it, neither does it have the power I would expect from the last song of this kind of concert, if you get what I mean. For me, it was just missing this last, final BANG. Either that, or have a nice, calming song at the end, that will make people cry and think “fuck man, I don’t want this to end, but it’s been such a good concert”. Gummi just fell really flat for me as the final song. The happier I was when they put on an instrumental of Wer Weiß Das Schon, even if I was really hoping to see that one live and in full length, but you know, life isn’t a bowl of cherries. Also I certainly would have cried. Alas, I did almost cry when they took their bows and thanked us. Till’s voice was so soft and he sounded so sincerely humble and thankful. I don’t know whether it did have any impact on him or not, but he was born in this city, after all.
Till The End Teaser
So instead of showing the video of Till getting sucked off under the Rammstein stage (which I’m still not convinced is real, but that’s another story, I don’t want to delve into it) they put on the first like two minutes of Till The End. This is gonna sound super snobby and ungrateful, but I just turned away. Like I said, if I wanna watch porn, I’ll open pornhub. The two guys behind us, however, were standing there, eyes glued to the screen and their mouths were literally half open, no lie, it cracked me up so hard like really? Shit, it’s gotta be hard to be a person with a dick instead of a brain sometimes.
Bottom line.
Everything was worth it. The hours of waiting, the mediocre weather, driving to the venue by bike, the “fear” of getting hit by a cake or a fish. The concert was amazing, outstanding, mindblowing. I don’t want to compare it to my first row Rammstein experience, because they’re so vastly different bands, and I want to keep them separated. But man. This was probably the best valentine’s day of all time, by far.
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Finally finished up Kodi’s profile and a simple character sheet! ( ´ ▽ ` ) Berenice might take a bit longer... most of her first profile was filled with ??? after all...
Full Profile+Additional Sketches are below!
(Before I get into anything, just wanna say that the main inspiration behind this boi was this one Twitter post about cuttlefish that I found really cute back then (altho he’s not venomous lol). Plus (・_・;) Youtube recommended me an hour long documentary on the animal, and I ended up watching all of it, so then I became even more attached...)
Full Name: Kodi Sepiama
Name Meaning: Tbh, I just read this sentence from the Wikipedia article on cuttlefish: “The "cuttle" in cuttlefish comes from the Old English name for the species, cudele, which may be cognate with the Old Norse koddi (cushion) and the Middle Low German Kudel (rag)”,and the rest was history; His last name is a combination of the scientific name for the giant cuttlefish (Sepia apama)
Dorm: Octivanelle
Twisted Off Of: Nothing (He’s based off of a cuttlefish though)
Year: 2nd Year
Birthday: April 07 (Aries)
Age: 17 years old
Height: 1.77m/5’10”
Place of Origin: Village of Harvest
Voice Headcanon: Miwa Takahiro
Personality:
Tends to have delusions of the grandeur when it comes to imagining his ideal school life. A very expressive boy who wears his heart on his sleeve. As a result, he has significant trouble hiding how he feels, both on his face and through his actions. Due to his unique magic Kodi has a very weak presence compared to most people, and, although he’s eager to make friends with everybody, he mostly goes unnoticed by his peers. As with most Octivanelle students, he’s often tasked by Azul with one errand or another, but he manages to keep up a (mostly) optimistic attitude in spite of all his work.
Will carry out any of Azul’s orders no matter how questionable they may seem, acting as a pawn to the dorm leader’s chess board by gathering info on other students around the school undetected. He’s a smart guy when it comes to academics, but since people like Azul and Riddle are in his grade, his ranking isn’t as high as he would want it to be. His common sense, however, is a different story.
Likes: Akashiyaki, tending to both animals and plants, anything that keeps him busy, basketball, art, buying new watercolor sets, aquariums, his friends, crossing things off his to-do list
Dislikes: The cowardly part of himself, his unique magic, oranges, disappointing others, when people forget about him
Background:
Despite being an Octavinelle student, Kodi grew up in an environment where most spent their days tending to the land: The Village of Harvest. The boy was a result of his mother having a romantic summer encounter with a cuttlefish merman on one of her rare trips to the beach, therefore his father wasn’t really in the picture when he was growing up. However, his mother didn’t hold any resentment towards his father, often speaking fondly of the man and the memories she held of him.
He was raised by his mother and her family on a small farm in the area. Because of this, Kodi never really felt lonely when he was younger, having been surrounded by his many relatives most of his life. It is from them did he learn practical skills when it came to both farming and everyday life, such as how to take care of plants and animals, how to cook healthy meals, etc. The village in general was a tight knit and welcoming community, so it also wasn’t uncommon for Kodi and his cousins to play with the children of other families and even stay over for dinner at different houses once they ran out of steam. One of his best friends was Epel, whom Kodi happily regarded as a little brother figure since most of his cousins were older than him.
As a child, Kodi was much more stoic than his current self, taking after his mother. It wasn’t as if he were shy or traumatized into being emotionally guarded, but rather it was physically difficult for him to show emotions. His face nor his voice would hardly change regardless of how strong of an emotion he was feeling. It was because of this did some of his peers think he was cold, especially when it came to situations that involved sympathy, but his personality didn’t hurt his reputation that much.
It is only when his magical abilities began to kick in did Kodi notice a drop in attention being paid to him. Since his unique magic involved blending in with his surroundings, this caused his overall presence to become weaker as well. Sometimes his friends would forget about him during their games (especially if they were playing hide and seek), other times his relatives would forget to set a plate for him at the dinner table; it wasn’t as if he was forgotten about completely, but these little hiccups really hurt his self esteem. It was because of this did Kodi begin to act out to get a little more attention, but he still went unnoticed. Eventually Kodi gave up and resorted to learning different ways to improve himself. He thought if he worked hard enough in a variety of areas, then surely he will get the recognition he deserves. Maybe he might even get lucky and get to go study at Night Raven College, becoming a famous magician after completing his studies at the magic school. He upped his athleticness by playing basketball with his cousins, created arts and crafts with Epel, and studied hard in school to pass his classes.
When the carriage came to take him away to NRC, Kodi was overjoyed. Well, it didn’t really show on his face because, :/ y’know, but he was shaking a lot from excitement when they placed him inside his coffin.
He didn’t really think much of which dorm he wanted to be placed in. Despite having little to no expectations, Kodi couldn’t help but be a little surprised when he got sorted into Octavinelle. He was aware of his mother’s encounter with the merman, but he thought she was telling him some sugar coated story to explain the absence of his dad. In fact, he was still skeptical of his mother’s tale until he accidentally fell into the large tank just outside the dorm’s lounge after he was done feeding the fish. Having grown up in a place not near any large bodies of water, Kodi didn’t think he needed to know how to swim, and, boy, did he regret it as he sunk deeper and deeper into the water. He blacked out once he ran out of oxygen, but when he came to, Kodi found himself as a cuttlefish laying on the tank’s floor. It took him an embarrassingly long time to figure out how to turn back into human afterwards.
Kodi came in contact with Azul early in his first year since they had a lot of the same classes, as well as the same dorm, together. However, it wasn’t until the start of his second year did Kodi decide he'd had enough of being ignored and that he wanted to sign a contract with Azul to fix his circumstances. His exact wish involved being able to express his emotions more freely as he believed that was the root of his problem. Azul agreed to help him out so long as Kodi did him a little favor that would “better acquaint him with the students on campus”. Thinking nothing of Azul’s vague wording, Kodi accepted his offer and became the overly expressive boi he is today. In exchange, he was to gather information on all the students on campus and create a basic profile on each person that was to be put into a catalogue held by Azul, just so this octopus man knew the type of clients he was going to be dealing with. For the first time, Kodi felt what it was like for fear to contort his face.
As of now, Kodi wears two mood bracelets around his wrists as physical proof of his contract. The bracelets change colors depending on what mood he’s in, but he tries to hide them under his sleeves out of embarrassment (you could still see how he feels on his face tho… (￣^￣) ). In addition to bending to Azul and the Leech brothers’ whims, he found himself helping out in a little smuggling business within the school, sneaking in certain outside goods that are hard to get on campus through a network of students. Kodi was assigned to deliver the packages in a secretive way, usually using his unique magic to his advantage. At first he was skeptical to join, but after being convinced that it wasn’t technically against school rules and that it wouldn’t take up much of his time, Kodi was on board with the idea.
Kodi also tried to keep in touch with Epel once the latter joined NRC, but the first year often regards him with disdain, thinking he’s become less cool when he entered his second year. But they’re still decent friends and sometimes have lunch together when their schedules match up. Kodi has attempted to befriend Majid due to him being a first year like Epel, visiting Scarabia to have a chat with him every once and awhile. Majid initially tried to reject him, but eventually became placated when Kodi began to bring snacks he made whenever he came to visit. Kodi doesn’t know how to act around Berenice and is lowkey kind of scared of her since she’s part ghost. He still acts friendly enough towards her though.
(Side Note: I kinda came up with his story before playing Chapter 3, and I’m not entirely sure what would happen to Kodi after all of (･_･;) that happened with all of the other students’ contracts. If Kodi’s contract had the same fate, his mood bracelets would probably become inactivated and go back to those cheap ones you get at souvenir shops. Kodi would still be expressive as always, yet would go back to having his old RBF when he’s not thinking about anything in particular. Or we could pretend that his contract was forgotten about in the chaos (￣∇￣) continuing with the running theme of him being forgotten…).
Powers:
Unique Magic (Hide-Away): This ability enables Kodi to seamlessly take upon the appearance of his surroundings, whether it involves becoming a part of the wall or a large potted plant. His generally weak presence enhances this ability as well. He has tried to imitate the appearances of other people, however, his unique magic doesn’t seem to accomodate for that type of mimicry. :’) Back to being a part of the wall he goes.
Cuttlefish Transformation: Due to being a quarter cuttlefish, he can only become fully human or fully cuttlefish. There is no in between. Gets kind of jealous whenever he sees Jade and Floyd switch into their merman forms during their visits to The Sea of Corals. Sometimes customers can catch a glimpse of cuttlefish Kodi swimming around the huge tank in Mostro Lounge, testing out his recently discovered form.
Stunning Hypnosis: Doesn’t really use this ability until he’s forced to. Whenever Kodi finds he’s in a tough situation, he can make his eyes mimic the hypnotic light show cuttlefish would normally display on their skin, his irises quickly shifting between different colors as he does so. This ability temporarily stuns his victim for about one to five minutes, giving him enough time to do whatever he needs to do.
Trivia:
He had curled all his hair for his high school debut, but somehow half of it got flattened during his time in the coffin on his way to NRC. Kodi tried to frantically fix it before the entrance ceremony in the bathroom until a random upperclassman complimented his “daring” hairstyle. He was so flattered that he kept doing his hair like that for the rest of the year.
Both Jade and Floyd tend to tease him about him not being able to turn into a merman. It didn’t bother him that much until they started tossing him around in his cuttlefish form like some terrified beach ball on one of their ocean visits.
Was tempted to join the Magishift club at first but decided otherwise when he fell off his broom in the first meeting. No one noticed, but he was embarrassed all the same. Switched over to the basketball club because he was more familiar with the sport. (*wheeze* kodi no basuke)
The shirt he wears with his Octavinelle uniform was given to him by his grandmother, saying that he would look so nice and sophisticated wearing it at school; he was personally reluctant to take it at first, but you can’t say no to grandmama
He so desperately wants to be relied upon that he’s willing to do almost anything to gain others’ respect; this often leads him to being a huge pushover tho
Can be scarily protective over the people he cares about; works from the background to make sure offenders get some kind of karma for what they’ve done
A good majority of his peers and upperclassmen who he knew in his first year became genuinely concerned when Kodi did a complete 180 in his second year; some worried he hit his head the wrong way and offered to take him to the hospital; others just gradually accepted this new Kodi; besides, it’s nice to see a huge smile finally cross his face when he gets excited about something for once
#twisted wonderland oc#art#my post#my art#twst oc#ocs#oc#my ocs#Kodi#i purposely made him 1cm taller than azul just to have one more octavinelle member that was taller than him#also to spite him a little on how slight the difference was owo#i really like azul and his amazing work ethic but i couldn't pass up this opportunity#his backstory isn't as complicated as Majids but i really just wanted a smiley idiot oc for once...so...#had to lighten up a bit!!
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The Fade
This one’s real sad, guys. I made myself a little sad while writing tbh ;w;
Summary: Fading effects every figment differently. When Bim was a few days old and almost forgotten, this is how it happened to him.
Prompt: Delirium
Warnings: Death mentions, dying character, but no one dies in-story
Tagging: @peribloke (ask to be tagged!)
Read on AO3 (Full Whumptober Series)
Enjoy!
~
“He sure wears out quick, doesn’t he, Doc?” Wilford asks, wiggling his moustache with thought. “He was perky when he got here.”
“Wilford, he’s fading,” Dr. Iplier groans, not for the first time. “Of course he got tired fast; he’s sick, to put it lightly.”
Wilford blinks, brows furrowed.
“Sounds fake, but okay.”
“What does that even…?” Dr. Iplier asks.
“It means exactly what I said,” Wilford says, with dignity.
Dr. Iplier sighs. It doesn’t seem to matter how many egos they lose, Wilford can’t figure out that fading means fading, it means dying and staying dead. Dr. Iplier doubts that’ll ever happen to Wilford; he’s so massively popular that not even the many reckless deaths he’s experienced could keep him gone for long. But most of the egos aren’t that lucky.
The ego wrapped in a blanket on Dr. Iplier’s armchair is one such unlucky ego.
Bim Trimmer only just appeared a few days ago, only just found the others this morning. He hasn’t even met everyone yet; just Dr. Iplier and Wilford. He and Wilford seemed to hit it off, but apparently not enough for Wilford to show much sympathy when he started flickering and getting weaker as the day sank from morning to late afternoon.
“Hey, wh–” Bim starts, coughing a little, “Who’s th…the pink guy again?”
“Wilford Warfstache, of course!” Wilford shouts, indignant. “How do you just forget me of all people??” He points to himself, wiggling his moustache for emphasis.
“Again, Wilford, he’s sick,” Dr. Iplier scolds, tucking the blanket closer under Bim’s chin. “He barely knows where he is right now, much less who you are.”
The armchair is too short for him to lay down all the way; Bim’s posture is more of a deep, leaned-back slouch, bundled in the blanket like a bag on the end of a hobo stick. But the armchair is more comfortable than the sofa and cleaner than Dr. Iplier’s bed, so it’s the best Dr. Iplier can do without driving him to the city and sneaking him into the hospital he works at.
“Anddd…” Bim squints at Dr. Iplier, wincing through a flicker that nearly makes him disappear. “Wus your name again?”
“Dr. Iplier,” Dr. Iplier says, still gentle, trying for a reassuring smile.
“Oh.” Bim’s eyelids flutter. “I have…rehearsal t’morrow.”
“Really?” Wilford asks, perking up a bit. Dr. Iplier, for his part, tries not to look at Bim’s timer, already at ten hours and continuing to go down.
“Mmhmmm.” Bim coughs again. “Maybe more…people…”
“What?” Wilford asks.
“You…” Bim points to Dr. Iplier. “‘n…Wilbur…?”
“Wilford!” Wilford yells, annoyed again.
“Winston…maybe you both can come…”
“On your show?” Dr. Iplier prompts, mostly to keep a red-faced Wilford from yelling again.
Bim’s eyes close for several long moments. When he opens them again, they’re clouded with tears.
“Doc, ‘m I gonna die?” he whispers.
Dr. Iplier’s tongue catches in his mouth for a long moment. Even Wilford seems taken aback.
“Bim…” Dr. Iplier murmurs.
He hates this. He hates watching egos die. He hates watching anyone die, but it hurts twice as much when it’s an ego, when it’s family. The Author chides him for that attitude whenever an ego goes.
“You can't keep thinking about it like that, baby,” he always says, I-told-you-so edging his voice as he wipes Dr. Iplier’s tears. “You’ll only break your own heart.”
He’s right, of course he’s right, but how else can Dr. Iplier think of the other egos?
And Bim, from what little time Dr. Iplier got to spend with him before his condition started spiraling, seems like a great addition to the group. As arrogant as Wilford, as smarmy as Dark, but sweet like King and sharp-witted like Author.
Now, though, he’s only barely present, only barely real, as his body continues to flicker in and out of existence. His time might still be blue, still have the potential to change, but there’s only ten hours left for change to happen.
“I jus’ got here,” Bim whines, a tear escaping down his cheek. “They’re already forgetting me.”
“I know,” Dr. Iplier says, achingly soft, reaching out to thumb away the tear. “It’s not fair. But you might still get better.” He smiles. “I can tell it’s not over yet.”
“Exactly!” Wilford puts in. “You’re a fine chap, Bim. There’s no way the fans can’t see it!”
“Y’think?” Bim asks, followed by a cough.
“Of course!” Wilford leans in conspiratorially. “After you’ve been here a while, you’ll learn that I’m always right.”
Dr. Iplier rolls his eyes, but the line gets a giggle out of Bim, so Dr. Iplier decides to find the humor in it. But the giggle is followed by even more coughing, until Dr. Iplier starts rubbing Bim’s back through the blanket.
“Easy, bud,” he soothes, “How about I get you some water?”
“Y-Yeah,” Bim manages, shivering.
“Watch him for a minute,” Dr. Iplier tells Wilford before going to the kitchen.
He’s back barely a couple minutes later with a glass of water and a plastic straw, but Bim stares at the glass in his hand without comprehension.
“Why’d you get water?” Bim asks.
“I offered to get you some a bit ago,” Dr. Iplier tells him, patient, “And you said you wanted some.”
“That just happened, how–” Wilford scoffs, bewildered, cut off by Dr. Iplier’s icy glare.
“Oh.” Bim says. His eyes close for a moment, then open again. “I don’t wan’ any.”
Wilford grumbles under his breath.
“You need it, though,” Dr. Iplier says gently, “You’ve been coughing a lot, this’ll help your throat. You don’t have to drink it all.”
“O…okay,” Bim says. There’s a dazed, fluttery quality to his voice, the kind that Dr. Iplier’s only ever heard in the voices of elderly dementia patients in the midst of an episode. It sounds so bizarre coming from the mouth of Bim, a young man, a three-day-old figment, a baby ego.
Still, Dr. Iplier approaches him with the water, holding the glass in front of him and helping him get the straw into his mouth. Fortunately, even though Bim forgot he wanted water, his body didn’t, and he drinks steadily. Dr. Iplier expects Wilford to make a comment about Bim needing a straw, but he’s curiously silent. Dr. Iplier glances at him briefly to see the expression on his face, but it’s hard to decipher.
When the glass is empty, Dr. Iplier sets it on the coffee table and Bim sighs and snuggles deeper into the blanket.
“You gonna go to sleep?” Dr. Iplier asks, hoping the answer is yes. It’d be a kindness from the universe to let Bim sleep through his fading.
“Mm,” Bim mumbles. His eyes are half-open. He looks like he wants something.
“What’s up, Bim?” Dr. Iplier asks, walking over to him.
Bim doesn’t say anything, just grabs Dr. Iplier’s arm and pulls. Dr. Iplier stifles a yelp as he stumbles onto the armchair, squished against Bim’s side. It seems to be what Bim was going for, though, as he leans into Dr. Iplier’s chest and sighs again.
“Oh,” Dr. Iplier says. Wilford snorts – the first sound he’s made in a few minutes now – and Dr. Iplier ignores him to stroke Bim’s hair. Bim worms one hand out from beneath the blanket to grab at Dr. Iplier’s free hand, and Dr. Iplier lets him. Bim frowns.
“Cold,” he says.
“Yeah, sorry about that,” Dr. Iplier replies, “I’m not a very good cuddle partner, unfortunately.”
There’s a pause.
“I am, though!” Wilford suddenly exclaims. “I give excellent hugs, just ask Darky!”
Dr. Iplier snorts. Dark looks fit to murder every time Wilford hugs him, it’s a miracle he hasn’t killed him for it by now. But Dr. Iplier’s surprised when Wilford flounces over to the armchair to sit at Bim’s other side. The trio are sufficiently squished, but somehow they fit without anyone losing circulation. Bim adjusts to lay between them, in the middle of Dr. Iplier’s care and Wilford’s warmth. Eventually he dozes off, letting out quiet, snuffly snores as his body continues to flicker in and out of reality.
“I had stuff I was gonna do today…” Wilford grumbles.
“If you leave you’ll wake him up,” Dr. Iplier retorts, “And if you wake him up, I swear I will break my hippocratic oath to kill you in your sleep.”
Wilford stops grumbling at that, and he and Dr. Iplier continue to watch Bim sleep between them.
“Is he really gonna die?” Wilford asks. “I mean, what I said before…he’s really not a bad kid.”
It’s the nicest thing Dr. Iplier’s ever heard Wilford say about a baby ego. He wishes he had something reassuring to say in return.
“Most likely,” he says instead, “His time isn’t red yet, but once it gets this bad…I’ve never seen anyone bounce back.”
Wilford frowns and looks back down at Bim. Dr. Iplier looks at him, too, at his trembling body smothered in a blanket, at his hands gripping the blanket’s edge, at his glasses askew from his cheek pressing into Dr. Iplier’s chest. Despite his symptoms, he looks peaceful. He isn’t scared or sad like this. The sun begins to go down as the day moves into evening, and Dr. Iplier hopes Bim’ll stay asleep until his clock runs out and die without pain.
But Bim wakes up after an hour of sleep, stirring and lifting his head to blink blearily at Dr. Iplier. Dr. Iplier offers him a gentle smile as his eyes clear. But before he can say anything, Bim’s eyes suddenly go hard with anger, and his hands dart out to grab Dr. Iplier by his shirt collar and yank him closer.
“Don’t just sit here and let me die, you son of a bitch,” he gasps, like he can hardly speak for rage.
Dr. Iplier’s heart starts drumming, and he can’t make his mouth move. He’s not sure what he would say if he could. Wilford looks at him, eyes wide. Bim rears one hand back like he intends to throw a punch, and that seems to jolt Wilford into action.
“Hey,” he says, grabbing Bim’s wrist.
Bim tugs but doesn’t have a hope of breaking out of Wilford’s strong grip, and he looks back at him with furrowed brows. Dr. Iplier can feel Bim’s grip on his shirt loosen, and his fisted hand relaxes in Wilford’s grip. He looks back to Dr. Iplier, blinking as his eyes cloud over.
“Wus your name again?” he asks.
Dr. Iplier bites his lip so he doesn’t sob. He glances over Bim’s shoulder at Wilford, who looks like he might cry, too. He releases Bim’s hand like he regrets grabbing it in the first place. Dr. Iplier looks away to Bim’s time. There’s still nine hours to go. Dr. Iplier schools his expression back into a placid smile to answer Bim’s question.
It’s going to be a long night.
#whumptober2019#no.3#markiplier#bim trimmer#wilford warfstache#dr. iplier#kristin says stuff#my writing#fanfic#bim......is babey#that's just a fact
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ooc; You know, I never thought anyone would like Thoth other than my group of friends who gave him a chance. I was so nervous with him, that I tried to make him a weaker character and I just couldn’t do that haha. I’m still nervous about him, but I want you all to know...
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, I really am thankful. From the fan art, to the threads, to meeting so many wonderful people, I think it’s time to shine a light on those who I’ve chatted with, and gotten to know as well! Even if it’s just a simple hello, it makes my day. You guys are all wonderful, and I’m beyond happy over this. I was going to make a 100 follower and then the followers skyrocketed before I could haaa... ^^;;;
Anyway, these people below the cut? They really are cool.
But so are all my followers, even if we don’t talk!
@avoiided,
Preshie mun! You’re Gaster terrifies me, not like bad dreams terrifying but he is a really well developed villain! He just is so wonderful to interact with, and I love our threads, no matter the blog! Let’s not forget how you’re a sweetheart either! I feel like I spam ya too much haha, anxiety man- BUT YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL! Keep being you :D <3
(I still can’t believe Thoth had a mini crush on Gaster and they could have been nerdy friends if the judgement ever happened aaaaaaa)
@curioosity, @snackiies
Azura mun! I am still vastly scared to chat with you, but I want you to know, I do mean the words I say ^^ You may be feeling down right now, but... I think you’re a great person. I really mean that, you’re oc is very well fleshed out and very engaging! I adore seeing you on the dash, and your art- and your posts! I hope things brighten up for you! You need a good day, and I hope you get it!
@sixfingersixtails,
I really adore your concept and I’m glad you’re one of my friends! Sixer is adorable, and Thoth absolutely wants to spoil him! And pet him, seriously how many times have they ended up curled up together haaa. But the depth of your stories and fanfic are amazing and I love reading every chapter! Keep up the amazing work! <3
@softashfuck, @goodster,
I hope you had a good birthday kiddo! I love ya, you’re the son I wish that was here for I could spoil you some more. Seriously, anyway, I love your character and your interpretations and the fact you spam me with such lovely art ;w; so nice. I swear I’m going to keep spamming you right on back! <3
Okay but I mean it, I do care a lot about you and I do see you as my kid. Seriously, if I could scoop you up I would. <3
@all-seeing-all-knowing-eye, @br00kie-draws
BROOOOOKIE! Okay, first off. When I first met you, I was highly nervous and scared, I met you through an ex-friend that showed me your art and since then I am so glad I met you. Our ships are adorable, they have bumpy roads and that’s what makes them enjoyable, they arent perfect, and that’s just how a good ship should be. Not to mention your art?! Like DAYUM GIRL. Such a good, best friend too, always listening to me ramble! Love ya! <3
OUR SHIPS ARE ALSO A BLESSING thoug so yea!
OH AND ALSO HOW DARE YOU GIVE ME ICONS ON RANDOM LIKE THE SANS ONES, ;w; I cry, I cry with joy
@s-k-e-t-c-h-y-m-e-s-s,
I know we don’t talk as much these days, I know you’re busy but I still check up on your art! (I really should finish that gif I made omgosh) But you are also a very nice person, and a wonderful artist!
@splinter-sister,
Rach.... I gotta be honest. I love you, and I think without you these last years or so, I don’t think I’d be around. I was in a really bad patch, and thinking things I shouldn’t. I let my thoughts almost win but you pulled me out of there. You helped me in so many ways, you even sent money through the mail cuz of my situation. I feel like I can never thank you enough because you really are my best friend and I honestly don’t know what I’d do if you suddenly disappeared one day. I know work is hard on you, but you’re such a great person and you know what, I’m proud of you. <3
AND THEN THERE’S THE SHIPS OKAY
Thoth and Rachael, Rachael and Rich/Neal, Rachael and--- Wait no that’s it. I think, maybe. We ship a lot, I blame our shipness. lmao Love it all!
@buy-gold-bye,
Lye! I’m still vastly nervous to chat you up and that’s why I go silent cuz my nerves kick my ass but you are such a cool person! And your art? A++++
@derse-agent, @wd-blaster,
Heya! I like your stuff! It’s really cool, and I know I owe you some things, don’t worry I didn’t forget! I just want you to know, you’re a really cool blog and thank you for joining the streams at times! LAOS YOUR GASTER IS ADORABLE OKAY
@scientistofthevoid,
AAAAAAH?! For one I totally ship Tenny and Lotus now, I love how Tenny turns to mush at the very sight of my pretty boi. Not to mention t’s us so sugar sweet~! With some deviousness in there. Okay but on top of that, I love your characters, and the art, the fact you have put a lot of effort in your things and you’re a great friend! <3
@xenoasks,
Okay so, I love your art and the fact your Gaster is different fom others and you put time and effort into your creations and just YESSSSS. It’s amazing, and I love it and you’re really cool!
@stealthnerd
your art is realy cool and you are officially a senpai. I love the way you draw man, and I enjoy seeing you on the dash!
@of2814,
Apaaaattthhhyyyyyy, I miss ya, and I should deff mesage you more! Omgosh,and always drag you to more streams for you can succumb to the siliiness again! I love your Parallax! Hal and nomal Hal and the one time we rp’d where Venom was also Hal sdsfgb All the good stuff and I STILL REMEBER OUR SHIP OF SIOBHAN AND HAL <3
@theirmercy,
Okay so we’re still getting to know each other but you are an absolute delight!? AND YOU HAVE AN AMAZING SANS AND I LOVE HOW YOU WRITE AND I’M GOING TO KEEP RAMBLING IN CAPS FOR YOU UNDERSTAND HOW YOU ARE AN IDOL HUN. <3
@ask-mystery-shack-cipher,
FOXIE AND HEALER!!! Healer, I love the way you write and Foxie? Hun, I wish I could draw like you. You two are really good friends and I’m sorry I haven’t een overly chatty? But I watch your content all the time! <3 You guys also helped me get rid of a toxic ex-friend and I’m grateful for that, you have no idea! Thank you for giving me strength!
@lastinggaster,
YOU ARE SUCH A SWEET PERSON!? You drew my boi, you chat with me, we rp- You are a delight! I want to invite you to all the streams and groups and let everyone marvel at your amazingness!
@lackadaisicaldenial,
Okay we don’t chat as I do with others but I’d love to? I’d love to also thread with you and I’m sorry if I didn’t answer that meme! It’s there staring at me like a deer in the middle of the road omg! But we should plot, on any of my blogs!
@evilgsanchez,
Okay so I loved our interactions with your Evil Rick and my Rick, I’m sorry that hes inactive right now, I’m trying to rile him back up but it’s just hard for me idk why- (been on an undertale kick tbh, aaaaa) BUT YOU WRITE AMAZINGLY AND BLOW MY FUCKING MIND LIKE OMG, HELLO SENPAI
@elooplvfklhiflskhu,
We just recently started talking but hey! I love your art from what I’ve seen keep up the amazing work okay? And don’t worry about messaging me, It’s all okay fi you want to :D I dont bite
@rubentheruler,
**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, screeching**
Your art is still amazing and I am highly nervous to talk with you but you are a sweety and I aspire to be like you!
@unspeakablyevil,
I would really like to chat with ya! And plot, and write! You seem to have an amazing Aku and it’s wonderful to see you on my dash!
@void-dad,
I love Trashy and I would really like to thread with ya. Your character is cute and well rounded, and I enjoy his story. Plus you’re a good person :D
@purplepimpryda,
BROTHER OF MINE I LOVE YA. I enjoy how hard you work on everything, even back when you wrote Joker. How we shipped, I still remember every moment despite my shit for brains memory hahaha. It’s wonderful and so are you and I’m glad you got out of your bad situation and are doing better and got things going for ya now! I love you, and I am very proud.
@pinkheartmelodi,
I LOVE YOUR BLOG OKAY? I read everything ^^;;; Haaa, I do, and it’s great. I’m kind of a side liner and I need to change that becuause Melodi is a cutie and I should totally spam you with more asks!
@paitakoyaki,
PAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII *SCREECHING INT THE SUNSET*
I miss our clown days, but I love how you draw still and I should message you more often, I miss ya buddy. You were and still are an amazing fiend and I aspire to draw how soft you do, those lines man mmmf, good stuff right there. Also Penance and Sorrow should hang out again.
@blackhxt,
SILVER HOW DARE YOU SINK ME THIS DEEP INTO VILLAINOUS
YOU MADE ME LOVE SO MANY DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF THE SHIPS, THE LORE, AND I’M SCREECHING AT YOU NOW. Oka but White Hat and Slug yessss, Flug and Black Hat, yesss, but my favorite...
Is the one I never expected. My fanfic’s Bill Cipher, dubbed ‘Glitch’ and Black Hat. I can’t believe they have two kids now and they recently hatched and are going to destroy the world. Cute little guys.
But you’re also a great friend! Seriously, amazing! <3
@cubicscubedemon,
Okay so I didn’t know anything of your muses but I saw you on the dash and I followed and I DO NOT REGRET THAT BECAUSE I LOVE THE WAY YOU TAKE YOUR CHARACTERS AND HOW MUCH STORY YOU PUT INTO THEM AND HOW MUCH WORK AND XKSHJBDCSFVGFMBH YOU ARE AMAZING <3
@storyteller-arc/ @smol-goop,
*inhale* B O I. Okay but on a serious note I love your Gaster, I love your oc. Storyteller, Gaster Grim likes them but not only that they managed to get Thoth to like them, he also likes smol as well. You have a really good character set it just attracts my characters like a magnet hahaha
Not to mention you are a adelight! Absolute delight!
@hannah-the-small,
*takes a deep breath* HOW CAN I EVEN BEGIN TO WRITE ON YOU!?
You are an idol to me. You are someone who has developed their entire set of ocs so much that I wish I could put that much effort without feeling nervous like hot dayum. You have suhc a good thing going, and I ust wanna punch Dick, hug him as well, punch him again- and also adopt ames and Hannah, and Eight- and the heroes, and Black Hat, and Dave, and all of them and HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME LOVE ALL THESE BBIES
@glitchster404,
GLITCHSTER IS ADORABLE!
I really do love how sweet they are and also the thread on Sans how he was commanded and i ended up being really cute and I just lve it all. You also have wonderful art and you are really dang sweet, <3 <3
@billrick,
okay....okay... I love your entire thing going on with ER, and I would love to write with you. I don’t even care what blog omgosh because you are an absoute steklar star on here, and Imma call you senpai til you perish cuz DAMN. Look at those headcanons, DAYUM look at those posts and stories and AUs and the past and 70 years worht of stuff and AAAAAAAA
A M A Z I N G
@a-vf-vi-tf-ti, @deep-black-dreaming
AAAAAA? I love your ocs, I love our rps and ideas on discord but we should deff rp here on tumblr again! Lemme drag you down with me on here muhahahahah, ALSO YOU’RE ANOTHER CULPRIT FOR GETTING ME DEEP INTO VILLAINIOUS AND I LOVE IT
@omnituent,
*stares at you deeply, squints*
Imma kick your Black Hats ass again just you watch. BUT ON A SIDE NOTE! OMG CAN WE THREAD ON HERE TOO? Discord is wonderful man man, I’d love to take it to tumblr, if you’re okay with that! I’ll even dust off my WH just for that reason :D
@igxitixn
You’re character seems swet and we should send some asks to each other ore often! I hope you’re having a wonderful day and I would love to get to know you more!
@dalearmitage
I know you thanks to Brookie and your character is amazing but I’m highly nervous to bug you nad for that I am very sory and I hope that we can chat more!
@an-ordinary-roach,
You have such a cute oc and I want to know all about them! We thread here on Tthoth and Grim but man I’d spam you with even Eddie Gluskin if you’d want :D Or Jack, but Jack scares everyone and so I keep him in th corner hahaha. But the point is, I love your concept and I wanna pet th roachie
@gothamsbruja
I remember when you were still developing your oc and it was on skype, and she had blue skin but now she covers up the blue skin and she is really great. I think you did amazing with her!
@hsheaddogs
Hey I just met you and aI think you guys are great. Sans and you, really cool! Thanks for joining the stream the other day and I hope to thread with you more! I mean it, and I should say hi to you more often on discord ^^ You seem great!
@gummypeculiar
YOUR CHARACTER IS SUPER CUTE AND I LOVE THEM AND I WOULD LOVE TO WRITE WITH YOU SO MUCH MORE EVEN THOUGH WE ALREADY WRITE ON sANS AND I JUST LOVE THEM AND WANNA KNOW ALL I CAN!
#I feel like I missed a few people but if I did#let me know#I hink you all are great#this took days for me#and thats another reason ive been so slow but im glad I did this#I appreciate all of you#I would have given up on all my characters if it weren't for al of you!
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listening through a new brain (2015)
prologue: frogs have so much spring:
homeless lady/grace singing in the prologue reminds me about how she, being homeless and really having nothing, ties together this theme of mortality, and life’s strangeness, and being grateful for what you have despite the circumstances.
gordon hasn’t “finish[ed] one song,” so i wonder how long he’s been employed with mr bungee
rhoda and gordon’s bickering/conversation feels really familiar between them. i wonder how long they’ve been friends; i hope since college,,, i have a lot of love for rhoda being the pillar of Work Ethic and advice and support and being a little bit bossy
prologue: 911 emergency/i have so many songs:
from the second song bill finn sets up a picture of normal gay culture (ex: the reality of having to worry about hiv, “mr bungee’s homophobic”) and i have so much love for how candid and unapologetic he is about telling lgbt stories. he is gay and jewish and goddamn his work is gay and jewish and that’s beautiful
heart and music:
i love what they did with the transition from i have so many songs to heart and music with the pulse ox.
also i gotta love the classic bill finn rhyme of horses & divorces. fucking iconic
one thing here that distinguishes anb from his other works, is, i think, how the songs are structured as an album. though falsettos and a new brain are both sung through, a new brain’s core songs are much more apparent, the first of which being heart and music. also bc they’re the only ones on the obc album but still. it’s interesting to see how he handles transition songs in a new brain. imo, the transitions in anb are weaker than his other shows: falsettos is more continuous, and 25th annual putnam county spelling bee has a different format (there’s dialogue), plus has transitions for comedic purposes (the goodbye songs)
mother’s gonna make things fine:
mother’s gonna make things fine has a manic comedic quality to it and ana gasteyer pulls it off really well. i esp like her blocking for that part
trouble in his brain:
“the invincibility of gordon michael schwinn” is a really interesting line to me. mimi and rhoda both say it — it’s a well known thing among those who know gordon. i wonder if this ties into gordon’s well-known desire to have a [musical] legacy or if it’s applied to other parts of his life?
be polite to everyone:
be polite to everyone is kind of a jam for a hallucination. i like jonathan groff’s acting choices in it (in the boot) that further clarify that he’s hallucinating because im dumb and found anb at like 1am a while back and didn’t get things at first. i just… accepted that mr bungee was there tbh
i’d rather be sailing:
the instrumentals in i’d rather be sailing are so soothing. it’s 11pm and aaron lazar is singing me a lullaby and all is right in the world. god, what charming, gorgeous voice, and what stellar execution. i have such a soft spot for aaron lazar after his performance in a new brain; it’s a charming role and he pulls it off with such decorum and sincerity. also i just fucking love roger. okay i was going to analyze this bit but it’s just a really sweet love song and i sometimes think about how this is the closest thing that william finn has written to a love song for his partner, and like,,, Y’all I Love This Song
(also. the piano [though it’s not marked as a specific dynamic in the sheet music] high note he sings at the end is stellar.)
family history:
family history is honestly really funny. that’s all
gordo’s law of genetics:
i love the slight changes to this arrangement in the revival recording but i will not rest until “why is the smart son always the gay son?” “schwinn’s second law” is put back in the recording. i wonder why they cut that?
also the blocking in this part is super cute i love the rolling chair and jonathan’s conducting and “air drums”
and they’re off:
i binge listened to and they’re off and then set it as my alarm and now I’m a little tired of it and that makes me sad :’(
STILL it’s a BOP and i love the rhyming in it and everyone sounds so good. this song is overlooked in its exposition of mimi; it gives insight to the circumstances that shaped her as a person. and they’re off gives an explanation behind her anger at gordon’s fatalistic behavior
last note for and they’re off: groff’s vocals are great here - i can feel the love he has for this song and this score
roger arrives:
i love roger arrives for all of the character dynamics it brings
roger is:
-loved by all (“hallelujah” - mimi, which, like, same)
-looking fit
-damned appropriate
-a strong emotional pillar
-a dreamboat, and that’s the tea!
roger and gordon’s first irl interaction is so comical and quirky and real. i’m a little peeved they omitted rogers “no” (and a few other phrases from the performance) in response to gordon asking if he left after he found out. the first time i listened through i thought roger might’ve actual left afterwards and was ready to throw hands
roger rolls with gordon’s insanity with such stride and :’)
the whole “he looks good”/“he looks pale”/“he looks better” showcases everyone’s different outlooks on the situation and god knows i live for characterization through song
ROGER’S LITTLE STINT/IMPLICATION IN “GO GET DINNER. ROGER HAS ARRIVED” IS FUNNY HONESTLY. there was a youtube performance i watched where the roger - idr which video - emphasized this joke more. it was hilarious and i wish aaron lazar had leaned into that a bit
just go:
i love how unique roger and gordon’s dynamic is. it feels quirky and unique and real and honestly. also the two get some gorgeous melodic lines and harmonies
“sometimes when you talk, i feel so damn woozy” roger wins at romance
tl;dr
gordon: you will get these hands if you stay
roger: love you too
mri tomorrow:
LET ME JUST TALK ABOUT “time to go to sleep. you’ll be brave as zorro” I HAVE NO IDEA WHETHER BILL FINN USED ZORRO AS A DESPERATE RHYME (PROBABLY) BUT I LOVE THE IDEA THAT ROGER IS AN OLD SCHOOL COMICS NERD
also in the boot, gordon just gives roger a /look/ after saying this and i love it. he probably uses outdated phrases of speech too
poor, unsuccessful, and fat:
JOSH LAMON IS A COMEDIC FORCE
“my sister is a receptionist” bill finn. where is gordon’s sister? what is she doing (besides being a receiptionist)? her brother’s in the hospital c’mon
“thank you for coming/ thank you for going” another example of this sort of underhanded humor. i like the sort of theme around Visitors in the hospital room and the people you surround yourself with in crisis
sitting becalmed in the lee of cuttyhunk:
sitting becalmed in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in the lee in
i desperately need someone to make an edit where “in the lee” never ends it’d be so unsatisfying and i’d love it
“oh yeah fuck it i hate the sun” jonathan groff does a really good job of portraying sarcastic characters,, this role suits him so well
HOW MUCH COMPLAINING DO YOU THINK ROGER HEARS ON THE DAILY THOUGH
“we got the picture” “i get the picture!/that wasn’t bad at all” i actually like this though??? like the first inklings of gordon’s epiphany at the end & him valuing life for what it is
this cast all has such great voices
crainiotomy:
I LOVE THAT FUN HOME WAS THE SHOW THE DOCTOR WENT TO IN THE REVIVAL. MY LESBIAN ASS IS SO HAPPY ALSO HOW OLD ARE THE DOCTOR’S KIDS IF THEY’RE SEEING CHICAGO
an invitation to sleep in my arms:
one of my favorite songs on the album.
the orchestrations behind it are really soothing and there are the most gorgeous harmonies at 2:27. desperately need someone to duet this with
whenever “mr music” is mentioned i think of like some 7 year old running around in a magician’s hat using a magic wand as a conductor’s stick
rhoda means so well
“i get distracted so damn easily” cut to gordon not being able to write a note of a song as soon as roger walks in. also cut to gordon forgetting what he was supposed to be writing also imo gordon probably has adhd
give roger and gordon more duets, or at least treasure the ones they get… that’s all i ask
ALSO I LOVE HOW FAMILY ORIENTED MIMI IS, like she is such an advocate for the belief that life is worth living and worth treasuring the important people in your life
also, the interactions between rhoda and mimi are some of my favorite
change:
such a good solo for high voices??? super fun and belty
i love that bill finn writes women just as dimensional as his other characters (though i wish he wrote more female-headed works i suppose. that’s just a hope of mine in general though)
the yes song:
the yes song takes me on like 7 different emotional arcs
“or when someone says “would you like to lose your virginity”/someone with whom you have no affinity” sondheim is SHAKING
“yes i will go to my grandparents to israel” is a line that can only really be appreciated by watching it goddamn
WHERE IS HIS SON??????
in the middle of the room (part i):
sometimes i think about how jonathan groff got into a car accident during the lyric “and i’m waiting for a car to come along and kill me”…. like how ICONIC???
ana sounds so concerned and on the border of falling apart in the recording i love talent
throw it out:
throw it out is a really versatile song,, like the tenderness at the beginning, the later comedic aspect of mimi desperately trying to find something to blame for gordon’s illness.
“‘HOW TO MEET A SAILOR’ GOOD SON” IM GENUINELY CRYING WITH LAUGHTER IG WE ALL KNOW HOW ROGER AND GORDON MET I LOVE A LYRIC
in the middle of the room (part ii)
this bit is so frantic. also it scared the shit out of me in the production when they brought out that drill oh my god
a really lousy day in the universe:
HEY THIS IS ILLEGAL ESP IN THE BOOT HE LOOKS LIKE HE’S ABOUT TO CRY
that aside, it’s a very pretty song
also, the fact that a new brain is partially autobiographical is wild??? like, bill finn’s partner had a therapy session with a homeless lady. what a wild conversation to relay back to him tbh
brain dead:
more commonly known as the resident banger of the anb ost
i don’t have a ton to say about this but lesbians (myself) do love a song that slaps
jonathan groff NAILS the phrase “what i am” it’s Gorgeous
the music still plays on:
mimi is such an incredible character don’t sleep on her wtfff
i think that the music still plays on gives a really interesting perspective both into mimi’s life, especially with the lines, “i was brash; i was bold,” and “married too young, and divorced far too old”
“the music still plays on… as my men depart” i think this line is interesting in that it emphasizes that mimi doesn’t want to be left alone. her divorce really affected her — it’s mentioned several times and she’s regretful. and right after it she feels stupid for feeling vulnerable. we see that later in the song, and the theme shifts into moving on, as the music (& life) still plays on
don’t give in:
hey so don’t give in is so fucking cursed both because of the beginning and jonathan groff mumbling “spaghetti”
you boys are gonna get me in such trouble:
RICH IS UHHH UNDERRATED
love the sound effects
title is Too Fucking Long
i’d rather be sailing (reprise):
“i choose to live” is such a powerful statement. it actually reminds me of the foreward to one of our choral pieces, named after the poem “invictus”
the lyrics “i am the master of my fate. i am the captain of my soul" from “invictus”, and the remark “just as death is inevitable, so is life” remind me so strongly of this reprise
the homeless lady’s revenge:
“i feel about eight”/ “don’t hyperventilate out on the street, normal, lively, and sweet” i love A Dynamic
“the life is wonderful”s are so nice… their voices blend so nicely
“half these books with my name on the cover”/“some with the name of your lover” i can’t believe mimi threw out ROGER’s books too oh my god. also a shared library…. sweet
roger’s attempt to persuade grace is very charming and her reaction is priceless and i love it so much. grace is such a chaotic force (insert prayer hands emoji x100)
also gordon’s “what!?”
the vocal arrangements in this is really nice in that everyone has in character, funny reactions, but the song still has lovely melodies and still feels like a song, not a filler. william finn really out here writing conversational theater at its peak. i definitely like these songs of his (like roger arrives, an invitation) because they don’t really get old and are so full of character
time:
“i give you time to value what you’ve found”
also let roger say “my love” not “my friend” oh my godddd
time and music:
yet again, a new brain showcases the beauty that is jonathan groff’s and aaron lazar’s vocal blend
and wow the vocal arrangements during the last half of time and music! holy shit! and it doesn’t even let up during the end of i feel so much spring!
i love the end of this show; its message is so hopeful honest
tl;dr listen to a new brain and talk to me about anb i have so many thoughts
#a new brain#william finn#musicals#jonathan groff#anb#mine#nobody asked for this but here i am.... desperate for anb content so im making it myself
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Flat Out Love (accidental x-post)
21:10 6/25 monday 2018
Finn is clearly dead and Matt is the one texting her. Idk what Celeste’s deal is? Maybe social something?
Maybe she feels responsible for his death? Obviously mom was bugged that “Finn” is communicating to Julie now as well as Celeste. It must hurt her. It also really bothers me that this is third person but reads like it’s first person. We heard Julie’s thoughts and opinions, but it’s third person. It’s just wrong 21:20
Obscured face? Think it’s not Finn? Excessive research for Finn look alike a? 21:21
Aww, Matt. “Celeste always looks nice” 21:23
This is so slow. It’s nice to see it’s building up to something. I just wish there was more tension. More to hold on to and hope for. I just want everything to be as captivating as the hating game was in the beginning. It was good all around tbh. End was weaker than the rest, but still feel good. 21:50
Wow part 2? Wonder what’s breaking the parts up. How they’re categorized. 21:54
Oh. Finn is gay? Maybe he is a real person after all. Maybe he’s trying to not have Julie fall in love with him. 21:59
Does that imply Finn is not gay, but just quoting South Pacific? Also, clearly she will teach Matt about socialization…and probably love. 22:02
Gee he’s the same way about Celeste as Matt is. I realize Matt is just tight lipped about it, which makes sense, but still. See? It’s so him. Also, Matt would fall for her if he’s helping his sister and he sees that patience and compassion every day. 22:14
You’re lucky to have your mom?? 22:15
Wonder if he mom guilted her dad into his trip. 21:17
They’re kind of hold hands. He’s kind of holding her hands, at least, and she’s fine with it. He likes her. She likes Finn. He’s Finn. Bet. 22:23
Ah, yes. “The Finn situation” in which he is out of the picture for he is dead. 22:26
This non-temporary problem…of death. 22:28
Bet he’ll get the time wrong – oh wow already getting caught up with the locations. Don’t think I didn’t notice someone in a wetsuit isn’t extremely identifiable. Wow, Matt is doing a lot. He has to deal with a lot as well as constantly be told he’s not doing enough from his mother. Ouch. Then the dad leaves on purpose? 23:33 womp womp
Not now? You know what? I think Matt just feels uncomfortable expressing his emotion in person. He hides behind this screen to show how much he loves Celeste, and now how much he loves Julie. 22:37
6/26 5:47
Wow Matt is tired after Julie stayed up until 3 talking to Finn? Wild
Obviously Finn was going to consol her. It was cute and cool. Has matt ever done something like that? Go outside even? Maybe before Finn left. Now Matt derailed his mother too. Celeste was confused when the gift came. She started to move on. I wonder if Finn died doing one of his amazing things. 06:19
Wow. Confirmed. Matt made the WOW wood block. Solid confirmation, bro. I wonder if people are meant to find it out there, or at least wonder. If Finn made it and died before she appreciated it…but no. She just never looked to appreciate Matt as much. Middle child syndrome indeed. 06:20
She may be a bit absent, but she knows Matt likes Julie. She’s not a bad mother. She’s just been dealt a hard hand. I appreciate that. I appreciate the author for putting that in. 06:23
This is written fine. She clearly has a strong voice, so I just wish it were presented in first person. 06:26
Oh my gosh. Matt is such a cutie! 06:29 it’s interesting how Finn has become an alter ego. I guess from the beginning you were supposed to understand this was a millennial book…
I hope the author means for us to know by this point. It’s very cut and dry. It’s so funny that Julie goes “it’s almost like Finn is here now, sitting next to me” like, wake up girl. 07:03
OMG HE WAS ABOUT TO ALLUDE THAT HE IS FINN! JULIE WHY YOU GOTTA DO THIS?! These things wouldn’t be as funny or maddening if you didn’t know. This is a fun read. 07:05 I like when you feel smart for just pointing out the obvious
Hmm…“you’re probably better for her than I am” like than he is for Julie? 07:08
Hahah that’s a jab id say. Surreptitious, you’re not. 07:09
If the thought is cash then yes ahaha this is getting better. More fun. More tension is building. 07:11
Wait, what? Did she end up going home? What did she do for Christmas? I love Christmas parts of books! I feel robbed. 07:17
So, is Finn and outlet for all of Matts quandaries? The way lying under a tree is for Juliet 07:21
“He couldn’t be gone forever.” Unless he’s DEAD. 07:23
Matt was drunk alone on New Years too? He’s sad that Julie loves him but not him. 07:32
I can’t believe they both told Celeste to shut up. I’m shook. It’s not even a big deal though? 07:40
This fricken tease of an author. “You kind of already told him.” GIRL! I thought that would lead to a confession! 07:46 it’s funny I’m so amused right now
Roger doesn’t like Celestes outfit? Becoming a mini Julie may not entirely help the not becoming a mini Finn. I hope Celeste does stay quirky. She must. The author already put so much in to establishing that her quirks are good. 07:49
The thing about Julie is that she always thinks she knows best. I hope she realizes she doesn’t at some point. She doesn’t know the whole story. 07:52
Weak you are not. Mannerisms are there. In speech. 07:59
That was so funny! That was meant to be caps. They didn’t kiss. His hands aren’t shit. Omg did he tell her? He loves Julie? Wowowowoowow im shook. So funny! Fun writing! It started slow and a little boring for me. I love this though! 08:12
Oh, look. Julie pushed too hard. It was bound to happen. I like this book. Predictable, but not enough to keep me off my toes. 08:14 sweet balance
“And you don’t like me the way I am” aww no one just likes him for him. Not even Celeste completely…it’s always Finn. Must be hard. Now, all of his dedication and work is coming down for him with celeste and Julie. 08:20 is it possible to be legitimately addicted to reading? I worry a little sometimes. Maybe it’s just being a coward and not wanting to really live in the real world 08:21 interesting and refreshing take on technology’s affect on everyone
He lulled her into a place that didn’t hurt anymore. The dream. Like calming her down in the elevator. The dream. 08:24
Celeste is making breakfast like Julie wanted her to make lunch! 08:29
Oh, before I get? Double major math and English? 08:32
I love her inner monologue and how she somehow convinced herself he thought she was a bad kisser. Relatable. Just ending up far from the beginning with a bad conclusion. 08:33
No family vacation because the whole family wouldn’t be there, right? RIP Finn. 08:45
Lul so she was smelling Matt’s shirt? Is he really the adrenaline junky? But he can’t now because he has to be more responsible? Matt was the only one who would disrupt finns room, I bet. He had to or it would’ve been a shrine. 08:48
Wow. I guess I didn’t realize how it would also be helpful for Matt in a way to have Finn around too. 09:00
Matt already was at MIT at this point, he just went ham after that…? To not be like Finn. Maybe for the sake of them all again. 09:01
This is like Dear Evan Hansen except Evan is the only one who wasn’t lying. He fixes everything for everyone, but at what cost? 09:04 weird and not completely parallel comparison.
Oh my gosh. He was actively involved in the Boston minerals club. Love it. So cute. Love “of course he was” she’s a good narrator. A little perfect, but it’s alright I guess. 10:14
I was like, do they live in Nevada? This whole time I didn’t know? Then I remembered…oh right Boston. 10:25
Wow that’s a solid ending. I like it. I appreciate that we didn’t need to hear that Matt never actually kissed Dana. Now I can see how a world can just be built around a few people, especially if you want to excel in school. I believe this story. Though, it is the weirdest contemporary I’ve read in a while. I love it in a way I didn’t expect to. It’s surprised me. I would say 4.1 probably. I’d read it again for sure, but I’d have to be ready for a slow beginning and hold my breath when Julie is being a little snooty. I love that they tied in the Star Wars thing. It was written pretty well. I feel like if I reread it and understood all of the allusions I’d appreciate it even more. It’s a good story, I think. I want to say 4.5, but then The Hating Game would have to be a 5. Colleen Hoover books are a little forgettable tbh. I know I’ll remember this weird book. It’s so cool that she’s from Ohio and it takes place in Boston. I wanted to read this for years. Before I moved to Boston. I didn’t know. I’m sure when I made my new Goodreads account I knew. I vaguely remember learning that. I’ve wanted to read this for so long. I guess I have to give it 5…no the later half was 5. 4 makes sense. 4 feels good. I would read more from this author though, for sure! 10:32
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