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#i think luke genuinely thought he WAS gonna convince percy to join him
moonlightperseus · 4 months
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percy apologizing to luke when he hit him in their final swordfight in the woods. they were actually fighting and percy still apologized when he struck luke. i will be crying for eight to ten business years
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elliot-elliot · 4 years
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Things i forgot about in PJO/HOO
TLT:
Percy accidentally fired a war cannon into a school bus
He also accidentally made his entire class fall into an aquarium tank thing
Grover cries when he’s frustrated
Grover has a note excusing him from PE “for the rest of his life”
Halfway though the school year their old math teacher had a nervous breakdown
Once, Percy told Grover that he didn’t think mrs Dodds was human and Grover was deadass just like “yes. You’re right” completely seriously
Chiron has tournament days where he would dress up in Roman armor
Percy assumed all the weird weather was because of global warming
Percy called his English teacher an old sot
Grover is a terrible liar
MASSIVE BLUE SOCK
Grover’s bladder acts up when he gets upset
Sally’s parents died in a plane crash when she was 5, and was raised by her uncle who didn’t really care about her
Sally wanted to be a novelist
She had to quit school her senior year to take care of said uncle, who got cancer
Gabe made Percy provide his gambling funds, and Percy said that if he didn’t, Gabe would “punch his lights out”
Percy has nightmares about Mrs Dodds
Percy genuinely liked Yancy Academy
Percy did the warding off evil gesture towards Gabe, and the screen door shut so hard “it whacked him in the butt and sent him flying up the stairs as if he’d been shot from a cannon”
Percy was stalked by a cyclops in 3rd grade
In preschool, he strangled a snake with his bare hands, and his mom found him playing with it like a rope
At the cabin, grover cursed in Ancient Greek, and Percy understood it perfectly
Percy thought Grover was a donkey from the waist down
Percy tried to get the Minotaurs attention by waving his red rain coat
Percy said he would rather live on the streets or pretend he was 17 and join the army if it meant not living with Gabe
Percy said that Mr D looked like a Cherub
They have satyrs at most schools
There was a different Latin teacher for the first week of the school, but Chiron convinced him to take a leave of absence
Mr D plays pinochle with the satyrs
There’s an orientation film
Grover eats mr D’s Diet Coke cans
Probation in the 1900s was Zeus’s punishment to Mr D
Percy likes basketball
Percy tripped when coming into the Hermes cabin for the first time
Most teachers are literally monsters
For a mortal, nectar and ambrosia turns their blood to fire and their skin to sand
Clarisse calls Annabeth “wise girl”
Percy accidentally sprayed Annabeth with toilet water
Chiron told Percy that he might be considered a myth in 2000 years
Luke pulled a switchblade out of his pocket and Percy thought Luke was gonna gut him
Percy is really good at canoeing
Luke’s the best swordsman they’d had in 300 years
Percy was able to disarm Luke on his first try after he poured water on his head
Hitler was a son of hades, since WW11 was the sons of Zeus and Poseidon on one side, and the sons of hades on the other
Houdini went on a quest to the underworld
In capture the flag, clarisse tried to cut Percy’s hair
Percy apologized for the water healing his Injuries
Someone left a newspaper about Percy and his mom going missing inside his doorway
Mr D wanted to Spontaneous Combust Percy
It’s illegal to make copies of Zeus’s lightning bolt
CHB has a hydra head from Woodstock
The oracle told Percy the prophecy through the image of Gabe and his friends
Grover eats pinochle cards “like potato chips”
Luke made Percy blush almost as much as Annabeth blushes when she’s around Luke
Chiron told Percy only to use his sword in emergencies
Mortals aren’t important enough to be killed by celestial bronze
Percy was famous for loosing pens at school
Annabeth was explaining the Athens rivalry thing to Percy, and he was like “they must have really liked olives” and Annabeth got mad and then he was like “Now, if she’d invited pizza—*that* i could understand” which made her even more mad, and Argus then winked at Percy
Annabeth gave Percy her hat so he could escape off the bus
Grover was gonna defend himself from the furies with a tin can
Grover ties Mrs Dodds’s legs up with her own whip
Percy told Mrs Dodds to eat his pants in Latin
Medusa turned Grover’s uncle to stone
Medusa is/sounds middle eastern
Percy told Medusa that they were from a traveling circus, and when they were alone Annabeth told Percy “your head is full of kelp”
Grover told Medusa that he takes vitamins for his ears
Satyrs can’t get migraines
Percy fucking mailed Medusa’s head to mount Olympus, and he signed the package “with best wishes”
GLADIOLA THE FUCKING PINK POODLE
Annabeth appeared on her dads doorstep in a golden cradle
Annabeth calls Grover “goat boy”
Percy hates confined spaces
I JUST REALIZED THIS HIS FIRST OUT OF 2 (i think 2?? Maybe there’s more??) TRAUMATIC ELEVATOR EXPERIENCES
The chimera has a rhinestone collar that says “Chimera— rabid, fire-breathing, poisonous— if found, please call Tartarus—ext. 954”
Echidna told Percy what she is— the mother of all monsters, and Percy was like “isn’t that a type of anteater”
The chimera poisoned Percy
Percy jumped from the arch assuming that it would kill him, in order to protect the mortals that were on the arch
Percy fucking lit a lighter at the bottom of the Mississippi
The campers were taking sides— Zeus or Poseidon
Gods can’t steal each other’s items directly
Percy said the leather on ares’s motercycle looked like “Caucasian human skin”
Percy said that ares’s was handsome
Percy said he broke clarisse’s spear and ares was like “oh dope”
Ares threatened to turn Percy into a prairie dog
Ares gave them a bag of double stuffed Oreos
Percy thought that the reason he could talk to zebras but not lions was because of another learning disability
They released a zebra into Las Vegas
Percy snapped Annabeth out of the lotus haze by looking her in the eyes and saying “spiders. Large, hairy spiders”
Percy threw away ares’s backpack, but once they left the lotus hotel, it reappeared on his shoulders
THE WATER BEDS
The lotus card had infinite money, and the cab driver referred to her as “your highness”, which Annabeth likes
They let the cab driver keep the (infinite) change
When at santa monica, percy looked out at the ocean, thought about how 2/3rds of the world is covered in water, and wondered how he could be the son of someone so powerful
Percy just. Fucking walks into the water and annabeth is like “percy what the fuck are you doing” and headass just keeps walking until he’s fully submerged
A mako shark nuzzled him like a dog
Percy used to see sea spirits smiling at him in the waves at Montauk beach
Houdini could “escape even the depths of tartarus… damn, talk about foreshadowing
Percy told the bus driver he was a stunt double for a bunch of child actors
Percy said L.A. reminded him of Ares
They got attacked by a gang
CRUSTY
Percy tricked crusty into getting into his own beds, and percy then cut his head off
Grover told Charon that all 3 of them drowned in a bathtub, and Charon looked mildly impressed
Percy bribed Charon into letting them in
Percy’s Traumatic Elevator Experience count so far: 2
The river Styx is polluted
Annabeth held percy’s hand on the boat
Thomas Jefferson is a judge of the underworld
Grover compared Asphodel to standing in a wheat field in Kansas forever
Cerberus is a purebred Rottweiler
Annabeth played fetch with Cerberus
Annabeth promised Cerberus that she would come back and play fetch with him again
Cerberus considers Annabeth a friend
Percy saw things in the Fields Of Punishment that he “didnt want to describe”
Percy said he wanted to go to the Isles of The Blest when he dies
THEY ALMOST FALL INTO TARTARUS.
Percy said that Hades’s eyes reminded him of Hitler’s
Percy wondered if Hades’s underwear was made of trapped souls like his robe was
Percy interrupted Hades to tell him that Charon wanted a raise
Hades threatened to “stop death”
PERCY TOLD HADES TO PLAY WITH CERBERUS MORE
Annabeth gave percy her necklace to wear for good luck (with fighting ares)
Percy jumped over ares on a 6-foot wave
Percy fucking told the entire city of LA that they could get a free appliance, and he gave them Gabe’s phone number. Fucking love this kid.
Finally, a non-traumatic elevator experience
Zeus went to purify his bolt in the waters of Lemnos
Podeiden told percy that his rebelliousness was because “the sea does not like to be restrained”
Poseidon said that sally is a goddess among women
Gabe fucking made Sally go to work when she got back
Percy didnt know that Gabe had been hitting sally, until he saw her flinch when Gabe raised his hand
Poseiden sent him Medusa’s head back to use against gabe
The ares cabin made Percy’s laurel and painted “loser” on it
Sally sold her “sculpture” to an art collector in Soho, got a new apartment, and started going to college
The Soho gallery called the sculpture “a huge step forward in super-ugly neorealism”
Percy told luke he misses being on the quest
Ares caught luke with the bolt and helm
Grover “confused the (flying shoe) curse”
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