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5-falsehoods-phonated · 3 years

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When Our Hands Next Meet

Series summary: Soulmates are given memories of their past lives when their hands touch. For Virgil and Logan, each memory is happier than the last.

This series was created for @analogicalweek and made in collaboration with the lovely @birdsongisland! They made this amazing piece for this this work; go support them with reblogs so it can be seen!

Credit to birdsongisland for beta reading this as well! You’re input means a lot and I’m truly grateful.

Chapter 2: The Lines Trace Back to You

Chapter Summary: Logan and Virgil share a quiet moment away from their ship as Logan tells stories with the stars.

Day 2 Prompt: Song/Stars

Warnings: none. If there are others please let me know!

WC: 1349

AO3 link

Taglist (ask to be added or removed): @ace-in-a-shopping-cart @janus-is-an-adorable-snek-boi @logans-library @im-an-anxious-wreck @edupunkn00b

The night was still and calm, bringing a quiet respite for the crew of a ship docked on the beach nearby. Waves lapped quietly at the ships hull and lulled even the most dutiful night watcher into a light slumber, entrusting the safety of their fellow shipmates to the vast expanse of peaceful nothing that lay beyond the beach. Soft winds whistled through the sparse trees and kicked up the sand at their bases, irritating the crabs hiding underneath as they hastened to rebury themselves before sunrise. Crickets sang out the last notes of their songs while birds chirped the first of theirs. Up on a nearby hill a man sighed blissfully, hidden from view even from the keenest of eyes and leaning back to relax into the sturdy chest behind him.

Virgil felt a low rumble against his back and smiled, tilting his head back to look at what his designated pillow could be laughing at. Deep green eyes met a deeper blue and not for the first time he felt himself get lost in the other’s gaze. He would sooner throw himself off his own ship in a storm than admit he might be a sap but those eyes had always compromised any notion he might have had that his heart was anything other than soft. A hand came up to cup his jaw and he closed his eyes to feel the ghost of a kiss brush against his forehead. Too soon the feeling passed, replaced instead with the hand crossing over to grip his shoulder and pull him tighter into the heat that radiated off the body behind him. In the chill of the early morning he had never been more grateful to have a living space heater to call his own.

Nuzzling back as Logan rested their chin on top of his head he sighed happily, pouting slightly as another chuckle jostled his position somewhat. He brought his hand up to tap at Logan’s arm to get their attention, snapping out quick motions with his fingers when he was sure he had it.

"What’s so funny?"

“You’re too easy to rile up.” Logan answered affectionately. “I was just thinking how lucky I am to see this side of you. You give orders all day like you were born to the violence of the sea and yet cling to me like a damsel in distress when away from prying eyes. It’s cute.”

Laughing outright as their forearm was bit gently in warning they brought their other hand up to comb through Virgil’s fluffy hair, earning a content purr for their efforts which they figured meant their apologetic offer had been accepted. They leaned back against the tree again, tightening their grip to bring Virgil with them so they could gaze up at the sky. It was still dark enough to see the stars relatively clearly, the barely there threat of dawn lighting the horizon just enough to show the purple of the other’s hair. They hummed softly in triumph as they found what they were looking for, bringing their hand up to point at a cluster of stars.

“Can you see that bright star there? Slightly left of the treeline?” They waited until Virgil tapped his confirmation before continuing. “There are three more dimmer stars that sort of make a line see? And crossing them are three stars with a row of three set right on the edge making a curve shape. Altogether they resemble a swan.”

Virgil tapped their arm again that he understood as he relaxed completely into the secure hold. He always loved to hear Logan talk about stars- a lot of the time the only thing they were used for was navigation, old stories forgotten and rewritten to better suit a life of sailing the seas. But when Logan talked about them there were always stories attached that dated back to Roman philosophers or amazonian astrologists. Where Virgil had been trained to see calculations in the sky Logan told of great battles won and lost, of Great Hunts led by archers on elk and bears doomed to wander the void for eternity- all told with the deep rumbling voice he had grown accustomed to falling asleep to when the night allowed it.

“It’s called Cygnus.” That voice called Virgil’s attention back from his wandering thoughts. “It’s Greek history is quite dreary, as the stories of their gods tend to be. But it’s relevance in Hinduism is quite lovely. It correlates with Brahmamuhurtha which translates to ‘a moment in the universe’. Between 4:24 and 5;12 in the morning is supposed to be a favorable time to do anything important or get a running start to the day. It’s a much better story to whatever family drama the Greek Gods had to earn them a constellation.”

Virgil snorted at the last bit; even if Logan knew almost everything there was to know when it came to Greek, Roman and Norse mythology they held a particular disdain for the dramatic and hyperbolized tragedy that made up the majority of the former’s myths and legends. Often if he needed a distraction from something Virgil would start them up on a rant about who should have talked to who about this certain subject so that this group of people wasn’t doomed to be cursed because of those people’s actions. Once Virgil had left the room to do a small task in the next one over, surprisingly unnoticed by Logan who had continued pacing and ranting like he had never left, voice carrying clearly through the walls all while ripping Zeus a new one for not being able to quote “Just keep it in his pants.”

Deciding the air was much too peaceful to start up another one of those discussions he instead raised his hands so Logan could see them, black nail polish glinting in the first rays of dawn as he signed. “What would you be doing right now, with your moment in the universe? Would you be back home waking up at dawn to feed the cows instead of leading a life of crime?”

Smiling, Logan shook their head. They hadn't thought when they were a teenager that someday they'd be sailing around on a pirates’ ship with one of most ruthless (as far as rumors went) crews in all the seas. They’d been trying to swipe Virgil’s coinpurse, not knowing who he was at the time, and had of course been caught before the bag had even left the pirate’s belt. The moment their skin had touched however, a thousand and one lives had flashed in an instant, leaving them blinking in astonishment into green eyes that glimmered with reserved mischief and buried kindness.

Prayers they hadn’t even known they had had been answered that day as an anonymous envelope containing the money their family had needed was found on their doorstep along with hidden coordinates along the edge that was thankfully overlooked by their mother. They missed her some days but their life had taken a better turn when they had turned up on the boat at the crack of dawn, hauling themself over the railing and waving the envelope at the person who had their face pinned to the deck with their sword before they could breathe a word. Home? That was with Virgil. Looking down at the man still curled comfortably in their lap worrying at his bottom lip they expressed as much in earnest.

“I’d be right here, doing exactly as I am right now. You are my moment always, and there’s nowhere else in the universe that I’d rather be.”

Tracing lines in the freckles on their cheeks, Logan felt Virgil spell out “sap” on their cheekbones, making them grin and lean over to cup the other’s cheeks in their own hands.

“All the lines between the stars- they all trace back to you my love.”

The hill obscured the kiss shared between them from any eyes that may have wandered in their direction, allowing only the stars to bear witness to their moment in the universe.

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#false writes #analogical week #analogicalweek #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #logan sanders #pirate Logan #virgil sanders #pirate virgil #mute virgil #nonbinary logan #collab #analogical #virgil x logan #ao3

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kendrixtermina · 3 years

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We’re you getting harassed for reblogging that anti Christmas post from that Jewish person? Because I did.

...since you’re on anon and using the loaded term/framing “anti christmas” im a bit worried that you’re that same troll but in case you’re just reluctant to private message me for some reason I’m gonna answer because it’s important to stand with harassed ppl. If obvious troll answers follow though they will be deleted.

I wouldn’t be surprised if they harassed multiple ppl seeing how systematic they were with their new accounts etc. I ignored them & they went away (or maybe reporting them for spam so many times led the mods to do something, idk - if you’re a real person & still being harassed then obviously not), the threats very pretty much transparent manipulation/ big talk.

Are you asking me for some reason? Do you propose some action or did you just want to confirm you weren’t the only one? Are they harassing everyone who reblogged that post or something? In that case it seems like organized trolls from some far right website

IDK what their problem is.

This is why I believe it’s important to like just question about universally worshipped holy cow values; Because you quickly find out what big string of unrelated strings ppl associate with them. Question everything - not because everything has to be changed for changes’s sake. But the things that you keep should be kept out of deliberate choice not just trudging along with conformism.

This is why there’s value in phrasings like “defund the police” - gets ppl to think about the fundamentals & realize such base assumptions that they took for grated.

Like if you say “Hard work is overrated” or “Soccer doesn’t interest me” they will react like you attacked their self worth when you are merely protesting exploitation or expressing that you are indifferent about soccer; Nor is indifference or annoyance the same as “hate”.

“I don’t drink” =/= “You are a bad person for drinking“. After all, drinking is to have fun. If it doesn’t cause you fun, there’s no point in doing it. You don’t gain anything from it. If you’re abstaining for health reasons or past addiction it might even harm you. But you don’t need a reason other than just that you don’t enjoy it.

“I’m aromantic & perfectly fine without a partner” =/= “You are bad for desperately wanting a partner“

“I don’t care for christmas” =/= “You’re not allowed to like it“; (but don’t bully ppl who don’t - I mean as an atheist I'm relatively lucky I could “join” if I wanted; Muslims and jews would have to leave their entire culture & family behind, of course they’re offended.)

Or they believe their religion, (or cultural convention, if we’re talking about purely “secular” Christmas) is the same as, say “morals family & togetherness” so when someone says “I don’t care about christmas”, “I’m annoyed at being bombarded with Christmas stuff” or “I don’t like christmas” they feel it’s an attack on morals family & togetherness themselves. But it’s not.

If you’re neither Christian nor from Northern Europe (and historically Christmas didn’t use to be a thing in, say, spain or optic communities; Orthodox Christians celebrate a completely different date!), that’s just a day in the calendar that you associate with nothing. Cold maybe. Or hot, if you live on the southern hemisphere. Maybe you associate family & togetherness with Chinese New Years.

Maybe you associate family & togetherness with Jewish or Muslim or Hindu Holidays so it annoys you that you don’t get time off for it (precisely because you DO care about family & togetherness), or are accused of not caring about family & togetherness because you don’t happen to commemorate it on December 25th. Maybe this harassment & discrimination leads you to eventually associate “normal day in the calendar” with harassment so you hate it.

Or, you are from a traditionally Christian north or central european background, but your family was full of abusers or religious bigots, so now you associate Christmas with bigotry and abuse. Or no need to go that far - commercialism & false, forced cheer aren’t that great either. You don’t need a reason.

So of course you don’t like it! But does that mean you hate everyone who celebrates it or that you’re against family & togetherness? Not at all.

It’s really just like the drinking example above: If Christmas makes you happy, great, do christmas (just do not bully anyone over not doing christmas, much like you shouldn’t drink and drive), but if it doesn’t, why on earth would you participate?

Personally I mistrust anything where you’re told that everyone has to like it, because it’s so unlikely to be authentic. There’s hardly anything that everybody likes aside from extreme things like “not being murdered”, & the older I get the broader I’ve learned that this is true. Even sex or chocolate or being touched aren’t liked by everyone!

#feelings

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psyprick · 6 years

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whoops, i’m gushing because i... think this is the best day of my life, genuinely. 8)!!!

god, i feel so... so amazing and so wonderful. the sheer contrast of feeling CONNECTED when i spent my whole life not and... just, the validation that comes from realizing that all this time i wasn’t fighting myself, i was fighting these awful uncontrollable hyperfixations.... when all i wanted at my core was to love people and support them and... ohh, there’s so much good i’m feeling, i can’t ever hope to put into words i haven’t already said to other privately five or six times by now, but...!!!

i may not be around today, as-- and this is so very exciting for me, so please be patient, if you can!!-- i took adderall... suspecting that these quirks (this... was not a suspicion i fostered myself, but one my boyfriend had-- one that made so much sense i couldnt help but try)-- these oddities about myself that made me feel HORRIBLE, that made me think i was inferior, that i wasn’t human... with the way the medicine has impacted me, with the perspective it’s granted me, i want nothing more than to enjoy this temporary freedom. GOODNESS THIS IS GETTING LONG, BUT I’M SO VERY WORDY... as a result of... being so very excited that i can finally express these twenty years of feelings i have inside me, without blood sweat and tears, without abstract metaphors that never seem to resonate proper...

all this time i thought i was abnormal because i had no idea that what i was looking at was ADD, not some... awful version of myself that i had no choice but to combat, not some pretentious, snobby core personality that i had to deny. and now i can SEE! i can focus. i have clarity. i can watch my thoughts follow through to the end... and then stop them. i can choose to start a task... instead of jumping on the first thing that needs it the most, according to this dumb brain i have.

i think i’ll have a bit of difficulty prioritizing things until it wears off (maybe, tonight sometime, by my estimates?), just because i’m so... not used to being able to do things... that i WANT to do, that i WANT to focus on... instead of being jumbled and distracted and unable to progress in a linear way... that’s why i think i might be afk a bit.

THIS POST IS SO DISORGANIZED... i completely recognize it, but it’s... flowing in an order that i picked, myself, instead of just... flowing in the way this dumb thing decides it should, so im having to learn how to prioritize stuff, like. pfftb, “all over again”, i guess?? BAH.... i’ll take it. i’m honestly.

i’m so grateful that he had the insight to step back-- and when i told him i was a freak, that i had these awful quirks, that i didnt see things the way everyone else seemed to (though, i know everyone is different, it was like-- the expectation of norms, and deviation from it, that made me so... scared and insecure)... he was able to assess, with his experience, and by way of the universe being so damn wonderful as to place this perfect person within my reach (SOULMATES!! you know!! ive decided we ARE soulmates, we MUST be, and how wonderful it is to be able to DECIDE SUCH A THING!! it’s so FREEING!!!), he was able to deduce that these oddities that disturbed me, depressed me, made me feel alienated... wasn’t a personality thing. wasn’t me being neurotic. wasn’t me being crazy or robotic or inhuman.

that all this time, it’s just been a dumb brain. i can FEEL things the way i’ve always known people feel them-- things as simple as KISSES, and while my brain still went YOU KNOW THERE’S SALIVA THERE AND THAT TEXTURE, and drew my attention to it... i could focus on something else. it wasn’t all i felt. kissing, which seemed so natural and pleasurable to EVERYONE BUT ME... i knew it was foreplay, but i never knew, never understood how people ENJOYED IT... so much time was spent thinking that i was a freak. so much time was spent trying to pretend i fit in, and such a complex was developed in how all i desperately wanted for myself was to be normal... and this medicine. this wonderfully lucky thing happened where i had the opportunity to take it... and i could get lost in my boyfriend’s kisses just like i’ve always read about. just like i’ve always wanted to be!! i could feel it in the way i’ve always wanted. i could feel it like everybody else, finally...

i can touch people without the recoil... without bolstering my endurance, without rushing through actions, knowing that my time was ticking, that i would only be able to handle so much before the feeling of even my own skin brushing against mine was too overwhelming. GLOVES!! we really-- and bless, bless my boyfriend and his flexibility, james, i love you, TRULY-- we really were both going to wear GLOVES all the time because those were easier to process than actual skin contact. UNREAL!!

and the problem this whole time... it wasn’t me. all that fighting i did... all those nights i spent hating myself because i thought that since all i could think of was awful things when i wanted to focus on the good, i was a miserable wretch of a person... and all those days that i fought against that, yelling from my mental prison that i loved and cared for my friends, the people around me, the world; all those hours i spent telling myself i WAS a humanitarian, that i WANTED peace, that this chaos that led my thoughts... somehow, it couldn’t have been the REAL me, because the real me-- had to be-- someone who loved, not hated-- THE WHOLE STRUGGLE!! IT WAS WORTH IT!!

it was ALWAYS worth it. i didn’t have the words to describe what i was feeling. i wanted to die, it hurt so bad, living in such discord! but i can see, i can process... i can finally speak. and oh, i’m speaking so much. i know there’s no rush, i don’t need to rush-- but i just can’t stop talking! i love it so much. i love being connected, i love being able to share, i love being able to talk-- and feel-- and be compassionate, and anyway if you’ve read this far you’re a real trooper, what eth HECK.

god, being alive right now is such a good feeling.

also yolo, no proofreading we die like men.

#ooc #long //#(( GOD this is long.#i just can't stop talking about it! i just can't stop feeling grateful.#IF ANYONE WANTS MY DISCORD? AND A HAPPY CHATTERBOX WHO WILL DO THEIR UTMOST TO RUB OFF ON YOU... just IM me!!!#and i hope you all have an AMAZING start to your day. i know i have. lessthanthree!!

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