#i swear i still make stuff sometimes
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#greys anatomy#grey's anatomy#meredith grey#cristina yang#2x19#scene set#greysedit#gaedit#greysanatomyedit#twisted sisters#tvedit#tvarchive#useroptional#cinemapix#tvfilm#long live drmedusagrey#i swear i still make stuff sometimes#queue's anatomy
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it's fun to look back on old designs sometimes ^^ esp when it's the same character
i'm certainly putting a lot more thought into them now. and details XD
also, toxic old men yaoi
#i sooo wanna gush about new designs but 😔 i still have stuff in need of designing#i swear guys uncanny valley babyfaced bing makes sense. i swear it does i just. can't show it now shfadjkfhasjkf#big sabbat post coming on AU blog sometime...in the future XP#okay i'm hoping it won't take super long#also i really need to finish that silly music video for tord's theme#WHY SO LITTLE TIME IN A DAY I NEED 400 HOURS TO FINISH ALL MY SHIT
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born to be vulnerable and serious and expressive, forced to be silly
#i love being silly i really do#but i love being passionate even more#and be serious about stuff#and ppl look at me so weird when i am too passionate about smth or serious#and get called a bitch for my serious/sad resting expression#“u look angry and like u will kill me”???? WHERE DID TAHT COME FROM WHAT DID I DO????? I DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING#i cant even have deep conversations with most of my irl friends#or i get called insane for being creative and making a skirt out of old jeans for funsies or analysing shows and media#its all a joke but cant help but take it to heart sometimes#i guess i still get to be expressive by being silly but at what cost#vent#i guess#not sad i swear#just thinking#rumaiq rambles
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Some more Just Desserts pets, and thinking about Candy Mers again (Patreon)
Also ft. the pigeon study I did, what a cute bird!
#Doodles#Just Desserts#Been thinking about the JD pets a lot lately actually I'd really like to make a size chart sometime#But honestly a lot of it was motivated by thinking of a pet to give Cherry Shortcake - a merengue pigeon!#I know I love birds and really enjoy drawing birds but I honestly wasn't expecting to have so much fun and be as pleased as I am haha#What a cute! Love that ♪#She doesn't have a name or an ADS chart yet but she does have the appearance upgrade so she's won at least a couple battles lol#She's a plain no-bean vanilla merengue but Cherry Shortcake opted to make her matching so she's got a cherry ''filling'' on her chest#To mimic bleeding-heart pigeons! It's very cute and highly symbolic lol#She is cute ♪#Then a pet idea I had months ago but never got around to because I lost the inspiration source! D:#I swear I saw a YouTube thumbnail at one point of a very chubby rain frog that looked like a mochi lol but I can't find it ;; I've looked!#But it's still an adorable idea so mochi frog hehe#And then the Candy Mer stuff ♪ I legit forgot I'd called them Candy Mers and not just mercandies at one point lol#Both of the links are related because it's more worldbuilding - the second one is kind of more relevant? But it all is so#I mentioned very briefly about mercandy death at one point but never elaborated because it made me sad haha#Still true but I thought about it a bit more! About the ''natural springs'' part - once a body of water is fully saturated with sugar -#The sugar-breakdown of a mercandy's body changes from a complete breakdown to a partial breakdown - little pieces slough off and float up#Once they fill with air they turn into gummy aquatic life or - ''jelly fish'' hehehehe ♪ Which is how natural fish occur!#Depending on how big a mercandy is before she dies her body may turn into a whole school! The shape and texture is random tho haha
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ahhh , so i’m going to go on a semi hiatus which basically is just me not picking up any new writing partners / threads until i’m done school and work slows down ! i’m not sure how long this’ll be , so bare with me !
#anyone in currently writing with i’ll still be doing our stuff#probably still as slow but HAHDJF#like i said i have all my drafts done for everything i owe here i just need to make gif icons#which i’ll do tomorrow#and i’ll reply to discord messages tomorrow too#and then get to discord replies the next time i’m off aka friday#i’m a very slow writer so sometimes replies take me like i swear to god 30 to an hour per reply#idk if anyone else is like that but it’s so embarrassing to me HAJSJSJSJDJD#okay anyway thank you all for being patient#love mutuals who don’t make me anxious for not always being able to be around#and yous are great !
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It’s so funny to me that I have this blog where I talk about torture and violence and then there’s my podcast sideblog which is just wholesome and full of art and positivity. The duality of man.
#honestly if you want cute stuff and art and podcasts follow me at puns-and-podcasts#I feel like I’m blogging into the void sometimes#I do still post whump I’ve just been super busy with my life and haven’t had any writing juice#but my stories aren’t abandoned I swear#I’m gonna make my return#s talks
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Uh warning this whole thing is me complaining about my bones and pain and stuff so if you're sick of hearing about that you should probably ignore this
Whatever's wrong with my knee spread to my hip so I think that maybe I WILL be needing a cane or something soon and it's not just a joke I was making cause I had to keep sitting down in random places
Joke might be the wrong word because it wasn't really a joke and it wasn't funny, I was just trying to be lighthearted and it didn't seem like it was really happening or that it was probable
#sorry if we're ever in a public place and i suddenly make us stop so i can sit down for a few seconds#its not because im lazy or im trying to be annoying i swear#something ive been thinking about is disability#i don't think im disabled because i can still get around and do things but sometimes it is a little difficult and im worried that#in the future I'll have a really hard time walking without pain and ill have to depend on someone more than i already do#im already going to need to live with someone for the rest of my life anyway because of mental health stuff and i really dont want to have#to give up what freedom i have left#i read somewhere that disability forces you to rely on people and it takes away your independence and totally overhauls your life#and that disability really destroys your walls surrounding asking others for help/support#being independent and being self sufficient#i pride myself on my independence and self sufficiency and seeing that slowly start trickling away while theres nothing i can do about it#and nobody knows what to do to stop it is really painful#maybe it wont get so bad that ill be fully reliant but the possibility is there and not knowing is really scary#my choice and my autonomy are being ripped away and it not a person thats doing it its my own body#im not in control of my own body anymore#maybe im being dramatic but it really doesnt feel like it#because i am slowly watching my joints get worse and i am completely helpless. i cant do anything. im watching whatever this is spread and#not a single person can tell me what it is or why its happening
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Started reading dungeon meshi and I genuinely have not been this invested in a manga in so long (or piece of media in general that wasn't related to Sonic in some way) I'm having the time of my life here
#ramblings#it's so good#the art is consistently good#the pace of the story feels just right so far#and all of the food looks so good it makes me wish fantasy monsters were real just so we could cook them#it's got me craving food made of stuff that doesn't even exist. how is that possible#also i haven't noticed anything fanservice-y so far which is SO refreshing like you don't even know#like i swear if i see anything with an anime style i can say with 99.99% certainty that either women or kids are sexualized#sometimes both. actually a lot of the time#i can just follow these characters and focus on their quest to save falin without being taken out of it by fanservice it's great#.. hope i'm not jinxing myself by saying all that lmao#idk i'm a good ways in and it still seems fine so i probably don't have anything to worry abt#anyways i wanna eat the treasure bugs
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#all you have to create is something about skinny white men in love and everyone will care about you and them#anything else is just nothing to you ppl lol#what’s the point of trying to be an artist I swear I just wanna give up coz I can’t create enough finished art in general#WHY CANT I DRAW LIKE I DID WHEN I WAS A KID. it felt so easy and now I’m scared to do it for no reason ugh!!#i wish I was interested in the same things as everyone else coz at least then the quality wouldn’t matter and people would care anyway#sorry I know this comes across as really childish and mean and yeh it is I’m just venting#coz sometimes I look at certain popular profiles and stuff and it makes me ache coz I’ll never be a part of the big club where you can feel#love and I’ll never be able to coz I’m just a robot thing with no humanity!!!#even the LITERAL ROBOT is still reduced in the fandom to being shipped like just fuck off all of you#one of my bigger recent passion Roberts is a story and even when I have some motivation and energy I just remember that literally not a sing#single person on earth has any reason to care about it and why should they! so I just feel like crawling into a hole and sulking like a piss#pissbaby which is what I’m doing lol#just because it’s not about young skinny men and the ��purity/beauty/divinity/superiority of romantic love </3’ and#and YUMMY SQUISHY ORGANIC RED PASSIONATE things because illl never be a part of all of that anyway#I’m not amazing I don’t have the inherent drama and meaningfulness of romantic love in me as a potential so I’m basically nothing#my life means nothing because i can’t feel the one thing that matters#-(one thing that matters according to the world and like all communities and societies and any place to feel like you’re a part of somethin#)#and if your broken (empty of romantic love) like me you’re told to go play by yourself in the corner and not complain that#everyone else gets to be in the group#‘just do your own thing it doesn’t matter what society thinks’ is well meaning and <3 but for me I just hear ‘don’t be a part of us’#what if I want to be a part of something? what if I want society to know and understand me?
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"My uncle used to tell me it was ok to feel angry, you just can’t let it define you." Zuko quoting his uncle is my favorite thing. ty for this gem.
#I swear I can sometimes write nice moments#between all the angst#& inner turmoil#I need to cut back on some of this inner stuff#because that’s what makes the word count so fucking crazy#yeah I’m still bitching about word count#I’ll just add it to the fic summary#-dark themes and word count bitching-#I’m glad y’all like to read I guess#anyway I’m glad you liked Zuko quoting his uncle#it’s the only way he knows how to comfort haha#poor guy#liab#ria#ask
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So I just finished season 1 of tmnt 2012
Final thoughts? Clap clap clap
Except that would be a lie because my ACTUAL last thought [spoilers ahead if ya’ll don’t know—]
was one that came up after splinter looks sadly at the picture of his old family, since he just found out shredder took and raised his child that he thought was dead.
And as he’s standing there my brain decided to say:
*pat pat splinter*. . .
‘WHATCHA GONNA DO? “KARAI” ABOUT IT??!!”
*everywhere you look begins to play*
#considering this came out in 2012 someone else has probably made this joke before#BUT STILL#AH HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAGETDUNKEDONNERD—#I’m sorry splinter—#see now I’m gonna associate that theme song with splinter.#and now I got his death scene playing in my head with that music#I’m so sorry splinter please forgive me—#I swear if they make that joke sometime in the future of this show I will consider myself a legend—#ANYWAYS—#have a good day#bye bye#random stuff#tmnt 2012#meh#splinter
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32 years old and just had my first experience with a literal bat flying around the house 😬😳🦇
#there's something that doesn't happen every day#we're like... 60% sure it got out and is gone @_@#no sleep tonight lol#one of the most surreal moments of my entire life#standing in the dark kitchen getting a glass of water and felt a whoosh like wind flutter the front of my hair#thought i was hallucinating or maybe there was a moth and went 'naaah' but 2 seconds later#all three cats are flipping jumping pouncing freaking out trying to catch a speeding flying Thing#and then *i* proceeded to freak the fuck out immobilized on the spot with my stupid cup of water like WTF DO I DO?! 😂#not trek#jtkchu's landing party#weird wild stuff!!#life really do be stranger than fiction sometimes i swear#midwest life#bats#apparently it's illegal to kill them and they're a protected species i didn't know but that makes me glad!#thankfully we don't seem to have any *other* bats in the house or a colony of them or anything *knock on wood*#the cats are hilarious still prowling like 'hey yo where'd that flying Thing go lemme eat it'#okay! crazy times!#i'm perfectly calm Dude#like. literally a Bat 😂 i can't get over it 😂#4am Bat Visit 😂#Bat Party 🥳🎊#better put this in the Bat Journal#another Bat-tacular day at Camp Batman#2022 the year of the bat!
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good evening tumblr, on valentine’s day i sent these memes to the guy i like/might be dating?:
to which he responded with:
#i still don’t know what to do with this response#i’ve been trying to make a good time to tell him about my feelings but every time we hang out we talk endlessly about other stuff#and it was valentines day and everywhere was love and i was like yeah how bout it that love and so i sent these#and then i immediately crashed because my meds kicked in lmao#and when i woke up i’d found he’d immediately texted back and it was just. beef poptart.#i hate him sfm /j#i love him so much but sometimes. sometimes i wonder why.#anyway—#he’s just some guy#and i swear to god if i land him it’ll be my greatest trick#because today i fully sober rambled about mpreg puppet sex in his dms for twenty minutes and he’s still talking to me after so—#but seriously yall who the fuck responds to that with beef poptart#shut up im holding the trashtalking breadstick
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what even constitutes magic
#libra.txt#some things we might call magic in our world is just science in another#yes i'm writing breaking the chain again so like. ether is 'magic' to us. but they have scientific explanations for it#kinda#i think the most 'magical' things are like. the monado changing size for its wielder. and the red pollen orbs with zazadan#tbf i haven't played in a while so i could just be forgetting stuff#but a lot of it is just science!#shulk trying to argue that it's science and everyone else saying 'no no we swear magic really does just happen sometimes'#like. in a fantasy setting where both magic and science exist (hi. we're still in wild's world)#how do i strike a balance#i'm not even making sense anymore. sorry
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*pause moment* hey why the fuck did I just realise that during high school, I felt like a fair number of my peers (from outside my friends group) treated me somewhat more "softly" or like a child than they would've done with other people. and why was that
#maggles ramblings#like idk if they were actually doing that or if that's just what i Felt was happening#but. when they'd have to talk to me for things; like short 'do this in pairs' stuff; i def felt like they treated me differently#like I'd point out something in the thing we were looking at and they'd go 'oh wow good observation!!' as if we weren't the same age#maybe they just acted differently cos they didn't wanna be doing it. which like sure. but man u could at least try to discuss the topic#or did i seem like too much of a shy little creature that only just learned human speech that they forgot i was competent enough to get A's#but hhh man idk. i never know how people perceive me that's the real issue here#i can sorta make estimations based on how they talk to me; i can tell well enough if someone just doesn't wanna keep talking to me#but that doesn't mean i can figure out WHY. but i do know that sometimes it feels like.. they pick up on something about me#like i can roughly tell whether the person talking to me still considers me Just A Normal Guy or if they've realised like 'hey...#this person doesn't quite Get It with regards to social/conversation stuff'. bc of the way they talk. but i still never know why!!#like sure every time i go have conversations with new people i feel like I'm just pretending to be A Normal Person yknow#and when other people who seem very socially competent Keep talking to me i just think oh wow you haven't figured it out yet that's wild#figured what out? idk that I'm just pretending i guess. about what? uh good question just pretending in general#pretending like i know what to say; that it feels completely Natural to talk like that; like I'm not mentally rating each of my actions#but then sometimes there's people i just feel like i don't have to do that around nearly as much. i swear i gravitate towards those ppl#but yeah it's just. it def feels like they know I'm Not Getting something when i talk to a lot of people. like they Know i missed a memo#and i don't even know what the memo is about; or whether I've gotten any of the previous memos or just absorbed the knowledge#by observing things. ya#ok im done with that train of thought i need to go and work on that au i accidentally stayed up till 2am last night thinking of ideas for
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