#i so fucking wanted to but i said 'no' and honestly. would it have made a difference
Note
May I please request any comfort fluff with Jiyan from Wuthering Waves if you're open to those requests?🙏😔 I need bro to comfort me
‘Are you okay?’
‘I’m sorry?’ You asked, looking up to see Jiyan stood over your seated form with conceding lacing his golden eyes.
‘Are you okay?’ He repeated, sitting down next to you, ‘you’ve been acting differently as of late and I feel as though there’s more to it than just a shift in personality.’
You chuckled humourlessly, the jig was up and you knew it but were too stubborn to accept help from anyone, especially from one who had more important matters at hand than your slight decline in mental health. ‘It’s nothing, honestly, I’m just a little-‘
‘Tired?’ Jiyan cuts you off and suddenly your throat felt drier than a desert and he must’ve known that he caught you in your one lie as he levels you with a stare, leaning slightly towards you. ‘How often have you used being tired as an excuse because people in your past have proven themselves ill equip with handling a difficult situation, despite saying false promises of being there for when life gets hard.’
‘Way too fucking often.’ You replied. ‘It’s like they were only in my life to take something from me, why? I’ll never know because they’re all gone and fucked off, like they didn’t just tore my souls to shreds snd left me to pick up the pieces.’ You concluded and it wasn’t until then did you realise that you had started to cry when Jiyan wordlessly wiped one away with his thumb.
You had let your guard slip, the one thing you’ve promised yourself to never do again in the presence of another person due to how they made it all about them; not to mention how they gone on about how suddenly they couldn’t handle your baggage before ghosting you completely whenever you tried to reach out to them again. You didn’t deserve that type of treatment and you know it, but you’ve less yourself to believe that their reaction will be how others would perceive your situation, and so you never bothered reaching out for help and instead letting it bottle up inside until you cracked.
‘I’m sorry.’ You gasped as you began to violently wipe away at your eyes when Jiyan held your wrists in his hand and brought them away from your face.
‘Don’t apologise,’ he started, ‘never apologise for your own emotions nor the people who’ve made you believe that others would turn a blind eye to your plan, for that is simply not true, but I understand that this is a hard mentality for one to unlearn after so long.’ Jiyan wasn’t well versed in comforting others, seeing as how he spent most of his life in the frontlines of the battlefield as both a medic and general, but that didn’t stop him from recognising that a misdeed had been committed against you and that he wouldn’t allow; So for you, jiyan would try his best to provide comfort that you needed.
‘Oh yeah? And who’s going to change that then you?’ You scoffed.
‘Yes.’ Jiyan answered without hesitation and a seriousness you’ve only ever seen in battle and that alone had you choke on your own words.
‘Why?’ You asked, looking into his eyes in hopes of getting the answer you wanted, you wanted to look for a lie within his eyes but his eyes only told you that he was being genuine with his words.
‘I want to prove that if there is one person who’s willing to shoulder your burdens with you, it’s me.’ He tells you. ‘I will not allow you to suffer alone during you’re in pain. So please, allow me to lend you aid in these difficult times.’
You stayed silent for a bit and Jiyan thought that he may have overstepped a boundary or two but his own worries were put to rest when you gripped onto his hand just as he was about to pull away. ‘If it’s not too much trouble for you.’
‘I wouldn’t have suggested such if it was, which it isn’t.’ Jiyan cuts you off softly.
‘Then I guess it couldn’t hurt.’ You said, slowly beginning to grow hope for this seemingly small promise.
#wuwa#wuwa x reader#wuwa x you#wuthering waves#wuthering waves x reader#Wuthering waves imagine#Wuthering waves imagines#Wuwa imagine#wuwa imagines#jiyan x reader#jiyan x you#jiyan imagine#jiyan imagines
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Nature's A Bitch
Azriel x reader
summary: Reader is on her period and amidst the crankiness due to a lack of sleep and her hormones going haywire, she says something to Azriel she doesn't mean. Now, she has to apologise.
warnings: mentions of blood (only once and nothing gory)
~●○°●○°●○~
You clutched your stomach, groaning in pain as another cramp hit. Earlier in the night, you’d woken up to excruciating pain in your abdomen and had odiously discovered you’d gotten your period. The rest of the night was spent barely getting any sleep, staying in a fetal position in an attempt to relieve the cramping. However, they only seemed to intensify as the night went on. Your only option was to ignore the pain and try to fall asleep.
It was a Saturday morning when the usual knock sounded on the door. You buried yourself under the covers, groaning, trying to drown out the annoying sound of Azriel knocking on the door. Due to having barely gotten any sleep the previous night, you’d rather never wake up again than be awoken at this hour. Especially knowing what waking up entailed.
This was routine for the two of you. You and Azriel had been best friends for decades and somewhere along the way, you fell into a routine where Azriel woke you up on days he was home with a hot cup of coffee. The two of you would sit in bed and drink it then head to training.
Of course, this caused both of you to get teased a lot by the rest of IC about each other but you didn't care. It was fun chatting with Azriel about anything and everything over a cup of coffee. Today, though, you just weren’t in the mood or the physical state to wake up.
By your guess, it was the ass crack of dawn right now, like every single day when he came to wake you. Mother Nature had built a chicken into this male that started cawckawing at the first rays of sunlight. This normally amiable quality of his annoyed the shit out of you today.
The knocking continued on the door but you didn’t respond, doing your best to ignore the sound and sleep again.
“Good morning, sunshine!” Azriel’s voice boomed as he barged into your room. His thudding footsteps approached the bed before he rolled you over to make space for himself to sit.
“Brought you coffee,” he said gently. Extra black as you like it.”
You continued ignoring him, hoping he would take the hint and leave you alone for the day. He did not, however, because you could still feel his knee slightly nudging your back as he sat next to you on the bed. Honestly, his presence felt quite nice because suffering all night felt a bit lonely. It was only his relentless attempts at waking you up that nagged you.
When you didn’t reply, Azriel’s brows furrowed. “Y/n?” He asked, peeling the covers back from your face a little bit.
You didn’t know why this simple act enraged you so much. It was the mood swings that came with a period but the simple act of Az lifting the covers off your face made you snap. You sat up so fast that Azriel jerked back in surprise, spilling some of the coffee on your covers.
“What the fuck do you want, Azriel?” you yelled, furiously glaring at Azriel who looked at you stunned. He had never witnessed an outburst like this from you.
He gaped for a second, then said, “What do you mean? I came to wake you up like I do every morning,” he stated in confusion.
You shook your head in frustration, massaging your temples to relieve the building headache now.
“Yeah well maybe I don’t want your ass barging in here every fucking morning to ruin my day,” you said in frustration, pulling the covers back over your head and trying to fall asleep.
Azriel’s heart dropped all the way to his feet. That was the one sentence he’d dreaded to hear from anyone in the family but it especially stung coming from you. You and Azriel had been there for each other for the longest time. You had been there every single time he felt his inadequacies overtaking his qualities, been there to bring him down from every single nightmare, every reminder of his horrible past. So for him, it felt like having all that information made you realise you didn’t want to be his friend and simply put up with him because you were too kind to hurt him. Well, that had been his suspicion. A suspicion you’d just confirmed.
You didn’t see the pained look in Azriel’s eyes when you said that, completely oblivious to his inner turmoil of emotions. Some part of him knew you didn’t mean it and were probably just having a bad day. Another, bigger part of him though, was chastising him for being a burden, telling him that he was as unwanted as he’d always thought and now the truth was in front of him.
He got up from your bed and set the coffee cup on your nightstand. This time, no thudding footsteps were telling you he was walking out of your room. You barely heard the sound of the door closing behind Azriel before you were pulled back into a deep slumber.
~●○°●○°●○~
You woke up around noon, still in excruciating pain from your cramps. Some part of you wanted to stay in bed, in the comfort of your blankets and the warmth they provided. Eventually, though, the disgust from the blood overtook your need to be comfortable, and you willed yourself out of bed. You took a hot shower, used some muscle relief balm on your back and stomach to relieve the pain, changed into some shorts and an oversized t-shirt, then guzzled down a couple of painkillers from Madja to rid yourself of some of the misery.
Afterwards, you headed out to eat something.
Because it was the weekend, most of your family was home. Chatter was heard from the living room: sounds of talking, laughing, dishes clinking, and chairs scraping against the floor. A small smile made it to your face. While the scales of your emotions were tilted more to the negative side during your cycle, the bright sounds of chatter and laughter never failed to lift your spirits a little.
“Good morning, everyone,” you greeted in a much more chirpy mood than earlier this morning.
“‘Morning’ ended 2 hours ago,” Mor judged.
You rolled your eyes at the blonde and looked around at everyone in attendance. One person seemed to be missing; the one who was always there if he was home because family mattered to him the most. So when he was absent from family time, you frowned.
“Where’s Az?” you asked.
“I actually…don’t know,” Rhysand replied, brows furrowing. It was weird that even Rhysand didn’t know where Azriel was since due to his prying nature, he always entered people’s heads and found out what everyone was doing. So if Rhysand was unable to do that, that meant Azriel had blocked him out, which could mean only one thing: he was brooding.
Without another word to your family, you turned around and headed straight for Azriel’s room. Honestly, chances were low you’d find him there since his favourite place to brood was either the terrace or the bench in front of the Sidra, but given the rest of the family was home, there was a higher chance he’d stay in his room to avoid the risk of people talking to him.
You gently rapped your knuckles on the door. There was no response, so you tried twisting the door handle. His room was open, as always, so you walked in…into complete darkness. The room was shrouded in shadows running rampant, trying to veil Azriel from whoever may enter the room.
You practically felt the shadows exhale in relief when you entered as if they’d been waiting for you to come and negate whatever thoughts were running around in their master’s head.
“Azriel?” you called into the darkness.
Silently, you closed the door behind you. Azriel would not appreciate more people prying when he was feeling like this. From muscle memory, you took slow and careful footsteps towards the bed. Shadows swarmed you as you walked, brushing your legs as if urging you on.
Finally, you reached the bed. Your shins hit the mattress and you leaned forward to rest your hands on the bed and feel around to see where exactly Azriel was. Your hand slightly brushed the side of his thigh and you exhaled with relief. Immediately though, that turned into a sharp inhale when Azriel jerked away from your touch.
That was weird. He’d never done that before.
Guessing as to which way he was sitting, you settled down next to him on the bed, one leg folded on the bed while the other dangled off the edge.
“Az?” you called, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong, love?” you asked.
Once again, Azriel turned away from your touch. Your anxiety was growing now as you grew more agitated with not knowing what was bothering him.
“Talk to me,” you pleaded. “Tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it.”
“You-” a broken voice came. “You don’t need to pretend to care, Y/n,” Azriel said.
“‘Pretend to care’ what? What do you mean?” you asked. “Pretend to care about what?”
“About me,” he sniffled.
Your heart audibly cracked.
“Azriel,” you said in a stern voice. “You know I love you. How dare you accuse me of pretending to care about you when you know you’re my best friend.”
He scoffed and you just knew he rolled his eyes. “Didn’t sound like it this morning,” he said angrily.
Now you were confused. You thought back to what happened this morning. You recalled Azriel walking in with a cup of coffee. You didn’t like that he was trying to wake you up. And then you said-
Your eyes widened as the realisation dawned on you.
“Oh Azriel,” you said, at a loss of words to excuse your shitty behaviour. “I- I’m so sorry,” was all you could manage.
“Just forget about it, Y/n. At least now I know the truth,” he resigned.
“No,” you stated adamantly. “You don’t know the truth.”
“Then please, enlighten me. Cause where I’m sitting, it looks like you’ve been putting up with me for the past five decades because you don’t have the guts to tell me that you don’t want to be friends with me!”
The pain in his voice killed you.
“Azzy,” you sighed in defeat. “I started my cycle yesterday,” you explained. “I know it doesn’t excuse what I said to you. I just couldn’t sleep the whole night and the thought of getting out of bed was the most painful thing ever so I snapped when you pulled the covers back. I’m sorry, I should have just told you what was going on.”
As you spoke, you noticed the shadows slowly retreating to their corners. Little by little, you could see Azriel sitting in front of you. Bloodshot eyes, messy hair, and tear-stained cheeks. You felt horrible. You brought a hand up to his face, gently stroking his cheek.
“Oh Az,” you sighed.
“Is that true?” he asked, searching your eyes for confirmation.
“Yes,” you nodded earnestly. “Azzie, there’s no relationship I value more than yours and I would never, ever intentionally do anything to damage it. I would especially never intentionally hurt you. I hate myself for saying what I did. I hope you can forgive me,” you pleaded with him.
Finally, a small smile appeared on his face. “Of course.”
You could finally see all of him now. The shadows had completely retreated to their corners save for a couple that remained to stroke your cheek with affection as if thanking you for clearing things up with their master.
“I love you, Azzie,” you smiled at him.
“I love you, Y/n,” Azriel said.
He pulled you into a tight hug, burying his face in your shoulder and clung to you. In that one hug, he communicated what losing you meant for him, and you vowed to yourself to protect this male at all costs.
tags: @berryzxx @thelov3lybookworm @sarawritestories @milswrites
#azriel fanfic#azriel x reader#acotar fanfiction#azriel x you#azriel shadowsinger#acotar#acotar fluff#azriel x female!reader#azriel imagine#azriel shadowsinger x reader#azriel x reader angst#acotar angst#azriel shadowsinger angst#azriel shadowsinger x reader angst
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I’m Fine 🙂 / Save Me 🙃
Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader (Familial / Sisters)
Warnings: Angst w/Bittersweet Ending | Reader Dies | Black Widow / Red Room Canon | Addiction | “Cry for Help”
All she had left was the memory of you. | WC: 1,512
"Do you ever feel like you're all alone in this world?"
Natasha looked up from her laptop quick. "What?"
"Like, no matter how hard you try, no one will ever love or regard you in the same way you do them?"
——
Natasha tried to approach you gently, "Y/N." Yet she wasn't quick enough as you jumped back. "Shut up."
There was a fire in your eyes she hardly recognized, and she took a step back. Looking in your eyes hurt, because you were not the same little girl who used to pick flowers from the garden just for her hair and part of her took blame for that. "Don't try and pretend like you do." If you were a wine you'd be the most bitter. "I don't know why you even keep me around Natasha."
The redhead scoffed bitterly, "because I love you!" It stung to feel the burden in her words—you're hurting yourself just to spite her, but she hurt you first and with the way your mind was racing this made sense.
"Or is it because you feel guilty?" You countered, and hit it on the head as she whispered, "Y/N, please..."
Crushing her the same way she did you the day she left you behind, in a place built to destroy a dreamer like you, in the hands of a man set out to punish you for the mistakes of the woman you loved the most. Ouch.
"Do you think the world would miss me if I vanished?"
"Of cou—." You mindlessly cut her off, words tinged with vitriol, "Of course not. You're the one they'd hold the candlelight vigils for, you'll be on a mural and I'd be the one the stray cats would miss, because just like them I know what it's like to truly have no place."
"Have you been smoking pot?" It reeked the longer she stood closer to you. Then you all but confirmed it as you grew defensive. "Is that all you can ask Natasha?"
Natasha clicked her tongue. "Answer the question."
"Yes," you monotoned, "what does that change?"
"Everything." You grew rather frustrated, "but how?"
“You’re not making any sense,” she tried to reason but you laughed incredulously, “this is the first time in my entire life that I am making complete sense, Natalia.”
"I don't like it when you're like this, sestra."
"I'm always like this." Natasha sighed, "yeah..."
"Yeah?" Natasha nodded shamefully and you couldn't stop the sob from breaking. She hated you.
"Then I won't be anything to you, anymore."
Natasha shot up in a cold sweat, her wife beater tank top sticking to her skin, the words of your last fight still ringing in her head; a cry for help and she was useless.
"Fuck," she hiccuped, her knees pulled to her chest as she sobbed alongside the sky just outside the window. She dug the heels of her palms into her eyes and tried to force the pity she felt for herself away, the grief...
There were so many things she could have said; done.
I don't understand, but I want to; talk to me...
Had she ran after you, would it be different now?
Could've grabbed you by the arm. Don't go. Stay.
I love you more than you could ever know.
Instead she scoffed, 'at least I can finish my paperwork now,' and let you storm out the door without noticing the keys to her brand new jet black Porsche were gone.
Yelena still won't return her calls. Melina and Alexei are beside themselves in a grief harsher than her own. Though she internally wagers that her loss was the greatest, because you were her little widow first...
~-~-~———————-~-~———————-~-~-~
"Natty?" the blue haired girl looked at you with a wide grin, the innocence of the nickname you gave her was endearing and in the same breath, twisted. It was clear to her you didn't remember much of the before. You were four years her junior, so similar to Yelena, this life was honestly all you'd known. "Da, malen'kiy pauk?"
Natasha laughed just as soon as you giggled. It brought her joy to know, that for a while, you could be free of the harsh shackles that awaited you all back home.
"A little girl at school today told me about how in her family, when a person goes away, that they can become something else when they visit." Natasha nearly lost the joy on her face as you curiously approached death. In her mind the hope you held onto was futile, that when you shoot someone between the eyes, they are as good as gone, but she could never destroy you like that.
Instead, she gave life to your wonder, "What would you want to be then, a kitty?" You shook your head and blurted your answer easily, "malen'kiy pauk." The gaps in your teeth only made your smile more endearing, and the redhead opened her arms to you. You launched yourself into your sister's arms and gripped her tight.
"Then I could visit you," you mumbled against her shirt and the natural redhead tensed. The idea of you no longer existing felt unpleasant—her walls crumbled the moment you and Yelena entered her life but this was the first time she'd felt anything excruciating.
"Moya malen'kiy pauk," she chuckled softly so as to not cry instead, she placed a kiss to your cheek then hoped your childlike attention span would change the tune.
Then a familiar jingle sounded and you were scrambling into the house, shrieking for your mom.
Natasha shook her head and walked to the old man who knowingly parked out front of your house. He handed the redhead three ice creams, and a disk.
—————
You stood next to Natasha in the line for lunch, which was just a tasteless tray variety of essential nutrients. It was rule of thumb not to talk in line, but you were never one to follow the rules, and neither was Natasha.
"Are you scared of death?" Natasha frowned. "What?"
"I think a healthy fear for the end is fair, but I'm not losing sleep over the concept. Why do you ask?"
"Because I'm honestly not," you shrugged, stance indifferent but Natasha unfortunately believed you as you went on to say, "just wondering if I'm alone."
"Never with us," Yelena chimed in. "Death is an inevitability, just a matter of the when and how."
It wasn't hard to see to the fear in the blonde's eyes as she kept up her indifferent demeanor. Deep down, Natasha knew she was still that little girl from Ohio, who up until recently called fireflies, forest stars.
—
"I can't believe it," your tone clipped, the warmth you used to greet her with was gone. "I'll be back," she lied without realizing, but you could see it clearly. "Izhets."
(Liar)
"Y/N, I am going to end it once and for all," she hoped you could see the bigger picture, a promised freedom.
"Tozhe tupoy," you chuckled humorlessly. "There is no end, just more opportunities to build up defense."
(Dumb too)
Natasha fell for the American's words of ignorance.
"I love you," she said with certainty before she was one with the shadows, the last piece of your hope gone as it'd been years since you last caught sight of Lena.
~-~-~———————-~-~———————-~-~-~
A loud cry outside the purposely cracked window pulled her from her bittersweet thoughts of you...
Natasha stood beneath the tarp of your balcony, eyes downcast on a gorgeous white cat, paws soiled by the mud she trudged through with her three kittens. The redhead set a plate of food down for her then settled down beside her, towel in hand as she dried her babies.
The light of the moon cast over the kittens, reflecting off their varied fur patterns. A black one meowed, calling to her first among the litter, he hissed softly at the unfamiliar lift but settled fast as she began to dry his fur, pulling off grime and putting him to sleep.
The same occurred with the next boy cat, who was a gorgeous shade of gray, with faint swirls of orange.
Lastly, the smallest of the three, a gorgeous blend of white, brown and orange. She was the most vocal.
A grateful purr came from the mama cat when the redhead moved on to her paws, her eyes fluttered open at the unexpected contact, and when Natasha lifted her own gaze she gasped. With the light now on her face the color of her eyes was clear, a tear streamed down Nat's face without warning. The color and deep feeling of understanding behind them were just so, you.
"Oh my," a subdued laugh left her as she caught sight of something else, she scooped the feline into her lap, and placed a finger on her wet, pink nose in waiting. The blur of black transferred right on over and the woman smiled truly for the first time in eight months. "Dobro pozhalovat' domoy, moy malen'kiy pauk."
(Welcome home, my little spider)
#natasha romanoff#natasha romanoff blurb#natasha romanoff oneshot#natasha romanoff angst#natasha romanoff imagine#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff x you#natasha romanoff x fem!reader#natasha romanoff x female reader#natasha romanoff x y/n#gxg#natasha x reader#natasha x y/n
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Romania dreaming
It has been a few months since I met George on the site for long distance dating for gays. He was from Romania, kind of cute twinkish guy. Never had much luck. I honestly can't say why I went on that website, maybe I was just bored, but it turned out as the best decision of my life.
It was strange cause from the start, we knew we had chemistry between each other, but the distance made it complicated. We often sex-chatted on the website. About what we would do to each other and so.
One day I told him I wanted to jerk off furiously, because of what he wrote, but my rommate was unfortuantely in the room. Then just a strange idea popped into my head. "What if you'd swap into his body? Then you could be with me." George told me about his Romania ancestor magic skills he had, but he did just some small parlor tricks from time to time. The bigger spells were harder. He needed a friend for that. A friend that I could be. And that I could benefit from too
George loved the idea, but was scared at first. "What if the other one in my body ruins my life while he is me? I can't let that happen."
"Ok, you know what. Find anyone hot from your life that you would like me to swap into and I will come to see you. Then you'll swap me back and I'll see what the other person did. Maybe the spell makes them think they're us. That would be neat" I suggested
George was more confident now and even sent me some photos of his straight colleagues from work, so that we could see if they behaved differently after swapping back. I immediately set my eyes on Daniel. His hot, absolutely 100 % straight, colleague who worked out. Insanely hot.
We both agreed. I got ready in my bed. I told George to start the spell at 21:21. I looked at the clock and still had some minutes left. I tried to fall asleep. Maybe Daniel would be asleep in my body and it would be easier. Then it hit me. Strange nauseating feeling and the light
I was standing in the locker rooms. Cold win from the AC on my bare torso. Bare torso? Holy shit. I am shirtless in the locker rooms of some gym. That's something I never expected to happen to me. I looked down. First thing that caught my eye were the shorts. Then I looked at my beautiful muscular torso. My new arms. Then I caught my new reflection. In the mirror was the guy that I saw in the photo. Daniel. "Daniel" I said aloud. His voice sounded so strong and commanding. If he told me with this voice to get down on my knees and suck him, I would. Speaking of sucking I looked in my shorts. Nice flacid shaved cock. "Gotta find out how big you are when you're hard big guy". His phone vibrated. Fuck, I almost forgot I was suppose to send Daniel proof of swapping bodies
I sent the photo to George's instagram. Then I wrote:"This is what you'll be looking up at tonight while you suck me off"
"Peter? I can't believe it. You're really him. You have to come over!"
I wanted to get his stuff and leave immediately, but the some of his friends got to the locker and ridiculed me for being a pussy and leaving without lifting. I don't know if it was Daniel's personality or something else in me, but I felt like I had to prove them wrong. And then I said things I didn't even know. Shit about cars, girls, FUCKING GIRLS. I even lifted without knowing how. This body was on autopilote.
I left early without saying anything. Bunch of messages from George waiting for me and being stressed out what happened. I explained and asked for his adress of his dorms.
The twink I used to talk to late at night was waiting for me in black compression shorts and black shirt.
"Heey...." was all I let him say out loud. I agressively pressed him against the wall and kissed him. Tongues twisting around each other, my teeth biting his lips, hands feeling up and down his body. Slowly we were working our way to his bed. I set him down and took of my shirt. He was visibly shocked, that his work colleague was now in front of him stripping down. I whip out my hard dick and pushed it into his face. He obliged immediately and worked his way with his tongue around the bright purple head of my new dick. He was working it like a pro, trying to swallow it whole, not gagging. But that didn't matter, I had to fuck his ass. Now.
I turned him around, not even stripping him, only pulling a bit of his shorts from his ass. I spit into my hand, got it on my dick and pushed myself in. He screamed out. But I didn't care, I just pused inside and kept thrusting. He was so tight. His ass was so tight around my shaft. I shot my cum inside of him. Pulling out and immediately searching for clothes to leave.
"You're leaving?!"
I snapped out. "Fuck, jesus George I am so sorry. I don't know what happened. I think Daniel's personality still had effect on me. I didn't mean to be so rough on you. Please forgive me."
"It's ok. It did hurt at first, but it was worth it. I still can't believe you're him now. And I lost my virginity with Daniel who I crushed over for years! That's so amazing!"
"Wait, this was your first time? But, you told me all the stories. Was none of it true? Jesus, George, maybe if I knew I would have fought Daniel's personality harder."
"I didn't expect we would me irl. I honestly didn't expect the spell would wrok, but here we are. Daniel is here. In my room. Wait, I have a great idea!" he started casting a spell
"Wait!" I wasn't fast enough to stop him.
But now I was looking at Daniel. From his point of view. Already feeling more submissive than in Daniel's body. The personality of the original body truly does have an effect on the one swapped inside.
George was now posing in front of the mirror. His eyes focused on his biceps and all the tense muscles.
I was now in George's twink body. I could feel his ass hurting from the sex with Daniel's body. I could feel the cum in his ass. I felt the attraction towards Daniel's body. But I didn't feel right like I did in Daniel's. I wanted to swap back.
George now got to his new dick, which was already throbbing hard again. How that's possible, I have no idea. But as soon as he started jerking his new cock he looked at me and I felt his predator eyes on me. Fuck, this is gonna hurt
The next morning I woke up sleeping next to George still in Daniel's body. We didn't sleep much tonight, but don't get me wrong, while the sex felt great I still couldn't shake the feeling that I was in the wrong body. As soon as George woke up I told him about my dysphoria with his body. He got mad. I could tell that Daniel's personality took over. And then few seconds later I found myself in my original body again already in my university lecture.
For several weeks George didn't answer my messages. I could only see as his Tumblr profile had more and more photos of Daniel's body in the gym etc.
Not only was I worried, but I had to admit to myself that I was extremely jealous. I was in that body first. I need it more than he did
I kept spamming him with messages and then one day he answered. The message said:"I need to fuck this guy in gym. I'll swap u with him tonight. Be ready". Man, I think it's better to have one body close to Daniel's rather than be far from him
He did as he said in the message. I woke up again in the bright gym. Now lifting. I proceeded to not cause suspicion.
This guy I was now in was really handsome. More muscular even than Daniel I dare to say. I could feel that his personality was not as strong as Daniel's. He seemed more kind in my eyes, but who knows who he is. I may not know before George tells me. I saw him on the other side of the room eyeing me. Stalking me even. I left the body on autopilote and finished the workout. His body was probably used to take photos after so I let him
Maybe I could stay in his body. He is really hot. And more handsome too. But I don't know. He is the type I would love to have as a boyfriend, not to be him.
I followed George to the showers. We were eventually the last people in the gym. I got into the lockers. Patiently waiting for him to speak.
"You're Mihai now. He's the owner of the gym. So we got the place for ourselves. Let's hit the showers"
I followe him. Mihai, what a nice name for this guy. I don't feel that Mihai is someone who would just follow others and do what they tell him to. Maybe I figured out how to overpower the personality of the person.
We got naked and stared at each other.
"Nah, this is wrong." and yet again he proceeded to perform his ritual
I was now Daniel again and was looking at Mihai. Now the reality of how he acted hit him. And as I suspected before, Miahi was irl a very nice guy. "I am so so so sorry Peter. I didn't know that Daniel had such a strong personality. I tohught I could fight it, but most of the time I just found myself being the passenger, but still enjoying his life. It's so weird. But I feel better now as Mihai. Maybe you should stay in Daniel's body for now. I'll learn to control the personality of others, just as you did and then we can safely try to swap with other people. What do you think?"
"I think" I said as I turned on the water in the showers "that you need a post workout shower. And that George and Mihai need to get to know themselves better" I smiled at him kneeling down to the nice hairy cock already waiting for my mouth
Few months later
Are you asking if we stayed in their bodies? Well yeah, kind off. We made their bodies our main ones. We got them to live together, start a relationship and now even if we swapped into other bodies Daniel and Mihai bodies continue what we established. Romantic right?
Me and George often take trips to some new locations travelling around the world, enjoying life of other people. Most of the time we try to find some straight friends travelling to foreign locations, trying to score some pussy there and slightly changing their vacation plans. Heh, there was this one time where we didn't even exit our hotel room. For a week. Crazy right? That was wild. But maybe I'll tell that story another time and tell you how our life in Mihai and George is proceeding
But now we are in the bodies of these two gym bro friends, waiting for the gay bar to open. See you
A story from messages we came up with while body swap roleplaying with @hunkpossesion
I changed the plot a bit, but still the hot bodies remained.
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Heyyy how are youu?
I saw your resquests are open and i wanted to ask:
Enemies to lover with the boys? Mattheo pretty please and reader being a hufflepuff?
Like the whole you meet and both hate each other from the start for years because reader is always in her own world reading caring for magical creatures but she isnt afraid to talk back to them when they're arguing (like calling them players or returning their insults) until one of them as a 'fuck it' moment and kisses the reader and confess their love?
Sorry that was long thank you for taking time to read and thank you if you do write it 🤭💋
I'm great my lovely! Having a good day? Did you drink and eat 2day? :)
actually fr giggled and blushed when making this tbh, have so many Hufflepuff friends so basing this off of them <3 Also totally happy to write for Mattheo hes so bbg !
Careful - Mattheo Riddle
Mattheo Riddle didn't like you. That was clear to anyone who saw you two interact, and honestly, there never seemed to be any kind of reason behind it.
The assumption was just basic house prejudice, but Mattheo was fine with other Hufflepuffs, so why were you so 'special'? You knew he had it in him to be nice, heck, you'd harboured a crush on him since third year, so why now had he decided to be an ass?
Maybe it was that you had a habit of tripping over certain uneven flagstones when reading, or accidentally smashing bottles in potions because you'd spotted a niffler. But you couldn't help being clumsy, right?
Everytime something like that happened, Mattheo would give a sigh and eye roll, which made you upset, naturally. It's not like you wanted to fall over!
As a result you would confront him and he would say the obvious. 'you're so uncoordinated it's almost painful to watch.' Well unfortunately for you, it actually was painful.
So you could imagine the reaction when Snape paired you for potions.
"Careful."
"Shut up, I am being."
A quiet sigh.
"CAREFUL!" He threw out a hand to steady a jar of frogspawn you had nearly knocked over. You glared at him.
"It wasn't my fault, it was in an awkward place..." You said quietly.
Mattheo rolled his eyes, with that same sigh. "I'm sure it was."
You rolled your eyes, mocking him. He raised an eyebrow.
"Mocking me? Real mature n/n." You mocked him again, and he copied you.
"Mr Riddle, Ms L/N, something you'd like to share?" Snape said acidly. You quickly stopped, shaking your heads.
"No sir."
Once he had turned away, Mattheo muttered to you. "Your fault."
You gasped, offended. "It was yours, whore!" You replied indignantly.
Mattheo scoffed, trying to continue work on the potion. You pushed him to the side, and he looked at you in shock for a second, before pushing you out the way.
You did the same, and it turned into a war, before you both pushed at the same time and ended up on the floor.
"L/N, Riddle, Detention." Snape said greasily. "And leave the class."
You both packed your things, flushing, and left.
"Your fault." He murmured, smirking.
"Honestly fuck you." You replied.
"Careful."
"Shut up."
"CAREFUL!"
You turned, glaring. "How about, until told otherwise, I'll be careful?"
Mattheo rolled his eyes. "Good idea."
You two were stuck in detention together, polishing trophies. Mattheo sniggered.
"You should get one for falling over, your face seems to have magnetic attraction to the floor." You bit back an exasperated scream.
"Look, I don't get why you hate me Mattheo, but just stop!"
"y/n-"
"No, no, just shut up! Can you just stop?"
"Y/N-"
"I don't like it when I fall over, it hurts, but you seem to be a sadist on some level-"
"Okay fuck it, I'm just going to shut you up."
Mattheo kissed you then, cupping your face in his hands, pulling back after a few seconds.
"I don't like it when you fall over either, you know, y/n." He said, rolling his eyes. "I can tell it hurts, so it irritates me that you're not more careful! You get hurt, Y/N, I see the bruises, and that hurts me too. Just... look out for yourself? For me?" He pleaded with you.
You froze, trying to process.
"Okay so... you don't hate me?" You said, confused.
"No actually, I kiss all the people I hate to shut them up. Oh look, here comes Potter, I'd better give him a snog. NO, Y/N, I DON'T HATE YOU." He laughed.
You giggled quietly, then smirked. "You like me." You said in a sing song voice.
Mattheo flushed slightly. "Do not." He grumbled.
"Youuuuu like meeee." You sang, giggling.
He kissed you again, effectively shutting you up as you kissed him back.
"You like me too though, y/n, let's not forget that." He smirked.
"You know you can't just kiss me every time you need me to be quiet." He laughed at that.
"Don't worry, I plan on kissing you a lot more than that. Though you do have quite a tendency to yap." He reminded you.
You poked your tongue out, moving back to the trophies to continue your detention, and nearly tripping over another wobbly flagstone.
"CAREFUL!"
Love and thanks for the request, hope this was what you were looking for, remember to eat and drink water <3
#Azzie's thoughts#harry potter#slytherin#slytherin boys#slytherins#slytherin boys headcanons#slytherin boys fluff#mattheo riddle x you#mattheo riddle headcanon#mattheo riddle fluff#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle#mattheo riddle x y/n#lorenzo berkshire#theodore nott#draco malfoy
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a dress up!Joel interlude
tomorrow (29th May) I'll be posting the next part of dress up!Joel, lovingly titled ghosted.
in the meantime, have this interlude of sorts that I've been sitting on for weeks (and honestly thought I posted back in April, whoops.)
main masterlist ⋆ series masterlist
rating: Explicit (18+ only!)
word count: 969
warnings: more brotherly shenanigans, sex toy talk, mild relationship angst, alcohol consumption
summary: Joel's egg hunt couldn't have gone worse, and so he confides in the one person who has his back no matter what - his baby brother.
follow @covetedfics and turn notifications on for updates on future fics
Shooting the shit with his little brother wasn't something Joel Miller ever thought he'd enjoy. But, with age and maturity, there wasn't anything quite like sipping cold beers in his backyard, his brother yapping away about work, or girls, or the playoffs, or just about anything else, as they relaxed at the end of a long week. Tommy could talk, and Joel could listen, and that's how it'd always worked.
"Hey, you still got that thing I gave you," Tommy suddenly asks, after giving Joel a blow by blow of his latest conquest - some blonde he met at a bar and didn't even know the name of.
"What, this pain in my ass? Yeah."
"Very funny. Nah, I mean that ballpedo thing. Turns your balls into a torpedo."
"Balldo."
"Yeah! You still got it? If you ain't usin' it, ain't no use in it goin' to waste."
Joel lifts his beer, the condesation leaving a dark ring on his jeans, and takes a sip, averting his eyes from Tommy.
"Still got it."
It was stuffed at the bottom of his sock drawer upstairs. After Christmas, and his uncomfortable walk back home with the thing still strapped to his balls, it took him a little while to pry the thing off. The lube he'd spread over himself was turning tacky combined with your juices, and wetting it just made everything too slippery. But, eventually, he was free, and he cleaned the thing up and left it to dry, as if there would be any opportunity to use it again.
It was a happy coincidence that Sarah was with her mom again on Valentine's day, and your calendar for that day was empty - he noticed when he was fixing a drip in your kitchen sink. Given you enjoyed Christmas, he thought you might like something else too, and he was happy to be right. On Easter, he was going to leave a note for you for his little egg hunt, hoping you'd wake up Saturday morning and make your way over to his place to find the final prize.
He hadn't expected to get caught, and he hadn't expected things to be left as they were afterwards. Now the memory of all of it left a sour taste in his mouth.
"Can I go grab it? I'll take it off you."
"Nah... nah it's okay," Joel says, with a non-commital wave, as Tommy stands, taking a few steps to head inside.
"C'mon, if you ain't usin' it, I can take it. Mom never teach you to share your shit?"
"I'm always sharin' my shit with you, I said no," Joel shoots back with finality, unable to stop himself from mumbling into the rim of his beer. "You wouldn't want it now anyway."
Tommy was never one for being quick to catch on, and for that Joel was grateful. Though, maybe this time he underestimated his little brother. Tommy still makes a move to head inside, likely to rifle through his shit to find the toy he'd given Joel so long ago, but he stops in his tracks before pulling the patio door open.
"Holy shit," is all Tommy says. "Holy shit."
"You remember you're an asshole again?"
"You used the fuckin' ball thing?!"
Joel's silence says all Tommy needs to know.
"You gave yourself a dick for balls and you didn't tell me? Fuck I've been wonderin' about that thing ever since I gave it to you. It good?"
Joel doesn't really know what to say. He doesn't want to say anything - he wants to keep his fuck up with you his own tragic little secret, but now the balldo's out of the bag, he can't exactly dodge the question. Tommy was a persistent bastard when he wanted to be, and Joel knew that he was going to be extra persistent with this.
"It... yeah. Yeah, it was good."
"Wait... fuckin' wait a minute. This mean you got a girl?!" Tommy's face lights up as he asks, and Joel can feel the color drain from his. "You got a girl and you didn't bother tellin' me? You wound me, brother."
Shaking his head, Joel takes another swig of beer, hoping it'll wash the memory of the taste of you from his mouth. It doesn't.
"Nah. Didn't get the girl."
"You fuck it up that bad?"
As much as they could piss each other off, they always had each other to fall back on. Usually, of course, it was Joel picking up the pieces for Tommy, but there was an unspoken agreement between them that meant no one was keeping score. No one owed anyone anything, they'd always be there for each other, whether it was one time or a thousand times. So, against his better judgement, Joel tells Tommy everything and, for once, Tommy listens.
"Only one thing I don't get," Tommy muses when Joel finally finishes with a sigh. "If it was a misunderstanin', what the fuck are you doin' here with me, and not over there with her, explainin' yourself?"
"She told me to leave. I don't wanna intrude any m-"
"You broke into her fuckin' house, brother, think you're long past that."
Tommy slides the patio door open, half inside, half outside, and looks back at his big brother.
"Take it from an asshole who knows - doin' nothin' ain't gonna do shit. You don't get the girl, you don't get your shit rocked. Talk to her. You got nothin' to lose. If she don't want anything to do with you, nothin' changes, and if she does, well... you get the girl, and you get your shit rocked."
He hated to admit it, but Tommy was right, and Joel had never felt so fucking stupid that he didn't come to the same conclusion sooner.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow he'd make this right.
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller smut#joel miller fic#pedro pascal characters#coveted fics#big bawl jawl#never forget the balls#fic: dress up joel
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it's going to be a long, long time - matty healy
[title is rocketman lyrics, has nothing to do with the fic but i was listening to elton john trying to figure out what to call this thing so i just went with this, i really want to make this a series ngl but i'm shit at world building so we will see how that goes. once again thank you @abouttofillhisshoes for the beta reading, it is honestly an honour. oh and no, this is not the kidnapping fic.]
wc: ~8k
cw: fluff, reader has anxiety and body image issues, just really insecure over all, they are friends, matty is kinda horny, smut, he just gets her off with his fingers nothing crazy, dirty talk, matty cums in his pants <3
So Matty paid for the pizza and you hope he chokes on it. He can be so infuriating. You know what else is infuriating? Realising that you are enjoying his fucking company more than you should.
When the pizza arrived, he answered the door before you could, shoving the money at the teenager and telling him to keep the change before turning with an innocent smile to look at you where you were glaring at him from the couch. He then said if you were really upset about it, you could just pay for the food next time.
Next time.
You sat with a petulant glare at the TV, while Matty picked a movie, looking happy with himself when you didn’t argue about there being a next time where you would buy him dinner. He picked the movie Gremlins, which surprised you but also made you give him a suspicious squint. When you asked him why he picked it, he simply pointed at Loki, your dog, and then looked at you with a ‘well duh’ expression saying “Wasn’t that hard to put two and two together and realise you like that movie.”
…Okay so maybe it is your favourite movie of all time, but you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of telling him that.
Loki sat on the ground watching you, as you started to eat your pizza, staring at Matty like he was Romeo and Loki was a tubby slobbering love sick whore of a Juliet. You rolled your eyes when Matty tried to inconspicuously pick bits of meat off his pizza and drop them on the floor for him. Loki isn’t a quiet eater, he’s like a vacuum that makes wheezing pig noises every time he inhales but you decided not to say anything, smiling to yourself when Matty was basically eating a vegetarian pizza by the time Loki was done harassing him.
You were picking at your own pizza, following the same ritual you always do with eating all the topping first before you eat the base - it’s an old habit that you haven’t been able to kick, sometimes old rituals just stick, you know?
“OKay _ No, stop, stop. I can’t watch this any more - what are you doing?” Matty asks from his spot next to you, where he has sat far closer than he needs to. He’s glancing from your naked pizza slice, then to your face with an incredulous expression. You look at your pizza slice and then back to him. “Cleaning my butthole, what does it look like I’m doing?”
He rolls his eyes, wiping some sauce from the corner of his mouth away with his thumb before sucking it into his mouth and releasing it. “Idiot. Look, I was able to look past the pineapple on pizza thing - you psycho, but I can’t sit here and watch you eat the topping and then base like some lunatic.” You give him a blank stare so he continues his rant. “It’s like watching someone take a bite out of the middle of a burrito, or taking a bite out of a whole kitkat instead of breaking it apart. Were you raised by savages?”
You watch his face as you turn your empty pizza slice around, bringing it to your mouth and then take a bite out of the crust first and watch him look like he’s about to have a mental breakdown. “Some people just wanna watch the world burn, Matty.” You shrug, fighting the urge to cackle at his mouth hung open with wide mortified eyes.
“You’re gonna eat the rest of your pizza like that now, aren’t you?” He looks disgusted by the thought and you love it.
“Absolutely.” You agree without missing a beat and turn your face away to watch the TV again, ignoring Matty just staring at you while you continue to bastardize the simple act of eating a pizza. You continue to watch the movie, literally able to feel Matty’s disapproving stare on you. You can feel him cringe every time you bite into your pizza and can’t hide the amused look on your face.
“You know, you kinda remind me of a Mogwai.” Matty says all of the sudden sounding thoughtful, and you look sideways at him pausing your chewing.
“Why? Think if you feed me after midnight I’ll turn into a gremlin?”
You see that usual sly smirk on his lips. “No, I think if I got you wet, you’d surprise me.”
You drop your pizza into the box and whip your shocked face at him.
“Matty!”
He blows out a laugh that he was trying to hold in, and gives you a doe eyed coy look. “”What? I was gonna say you look like you’ve got strong legs, think you’d be a great swimmer.”
“Bullshit. That’s not what you meant and you know it.” You narrow your eyes at him, smacking his shoulder. Scrunching your lips up to not give him the satisfaction of a smile and it only makes him throw his head back giggling to himself.
As you continue to sit and watch the movie, you much preferred it when you were eating, having something to distract yourself and also do with your hands because now they’re just fidgeting in your lap which isn’t helped by Matty’s periodic stares at you. “You’ve got an interesting way of watching movies.” You dig at him with a dry tone, when his eyes are focused on the side of your face instead of the TV.
“You’ve got an interesting way of eating pizza, guess we all got our quirks.” He throws back, refusing to look away and you want to squirm on the spot with how anxious it is making you.
“Watch the movie, idiot.” You huff, barely being able to pay attention to what you’re seeing on the screen. Wanting to bite your tongue off when you accidentally glance at him and your eyes go to his mouth before snapping away. “Far more interested in what I’m watching right now, actually.” He says with a tilt of his head, and you close your eyes with a drawn out frustrated sigh.
He leans closer, barely keeping an inch between the side of your face and his nose, feeling his breath fan across your neck. You just keep your eyes planted firmly on the screen and dig your nails into the palms of your hands to soothe the way your heart nearly jumped out of your fucking body.
“You okay darling? Something you want?” He asks with a suggestive amused drawl that makes you clamp your teeth down on the inside of your cheek.
Don’t kiss his stupid face. Don’t kiss his stupid face. Don’t kiss his stupid face.
“I want you to watch the movie” You blurt with your voice hitching in your throat, which only makes him smile and look even more pleased with himself. He hums a disbelieving “Mm-Hmm.” But leans back, facing the TV again and you fight nearly throwing yourself off the couch when he shifts to lay down all of a sudden. He throws his feet up over the arm of the couch, laying on his back to pillow his head on your lap, lacing his fingers together on his chest and watches the TV with a casual expression.
“What are you doing?” You ask, hovering your hands above him with no idea where to put them, while he tries to hide his lips twitching up at the corners.
“Watching the movie like you told me to.”
You don’t know what to say, or what to do with your hands so you just stay rigid, swallowing down the dry feeling in your mouth and opt to rest your arms along the back of the couch to avoid touching him which only makes him grin.
There was a moment where Matty (you swear it was on purpose) moved one hand down to pull up the hem of his shirt over his stomach, acting like he had an itch he needed to scratch but then just left his hand on his exposed soft stomach and carved hips that his trousers had shifted dangerously low on. He rested his other arm hung above his head, the top of his arm rested against your thigh while his hand rested against the couch and his fingers made a habit of grazing against the side of your bare thigh occasionally.
By the time the movie was over your stomach was in that many knots you’d swear it was practising to be a sailor and your muscles ached in your body from how tense you had been the whole time. Matty acted completely oblivious to your distress, moving up off the couch and asked how he went about putting some music on and when you explained how to, you gave him a suspicious look when he put Elton John on from his phone to play through the Bluetooth speaker on the stereo. He came back to sit next to you, raising a brow. “Don’t act like you’re the only one with a good music taste, darling.”
You roll your eyes, but Matty just looks over your figure. “You seem tense. I want to try something, loosen you up a bit.” You look at him with panic flashing across your face, which makes him clarify what he means straight away. “I just meant to give you a head massage, I’m really good at them. Perks of all the years of shampooing hair with hairdressing, comes with the job.” You shake your head, leaning back. “Oh no, I’m good. I don’t like massages, let alone people touching me. It’s torture, not relaxing for me.”
You’d literally pay someone to not touch you if you could.
He pulls his lips to the side with a disbelieving look and tugs your hand again. “If you really don’t want me to touch you I won’t, but I’d like if you gave me a chance, I might surprise you.” You press your lips together in a flat line when he gives you the most pathetic begging puppy dog eyes you’ve ever seen. For fuck’s sake. “Fine. But I’m telling you right now, I’m going to hate it.” Matty’s solemn expression turns into a bright smile, and he gestures between his legs spread apart where he is sitting. “Just say the word and I will stop whenever you want. Come on, sit on the floor between my legs.”
You roll your eyes again. “Bet you’re gonna love that, getting me on the floor between your legs.” You sigh, pulling yourself forward up off the couch and moving to sit on the ground between his legs with your shoulders against the back of the couch and his knees either side of your head. “Doesn’t do much for me unless you’re on your knees darling.” He jabs back, and for some reason it doesn’t make you uncomfortable. It’s like you’re just becoming accustomed to his crass sense of humour. At least you think he was joking. Right?
“It’d be a cold day in hell before that happened.” You quip and hear him laugh under his breath as he starts to run his fingers through the tops of your hair to pull it back away from your face. You feel your muscles constrict when his long fingers slide into your hair up from the base of your neck. You’re fighting your natural instinct to recoil away, and panic over someone being this close. You don’t know how this anxiety is ever meant to feel good.
You still don’t rightfully know why you’re even letting him do this. You know the answer is deep buried down, you’re not stupid but you’re refusing to acknowledge it because it will tumble you off a cliff you’re not ready to go down. Far better keeping those doors closed. You’re just humouring him.
Matty stays silent, as his fingers begin to work against your scalp, massaging his fingers in slow motions as he moves up your head.
…Oh.
You’re shocked by the feeling, it’s like you had strings pulled taught on every limb in your body that have just been cut and your body slumps, and the more his long fingers work it starts sending waves of tingles sending down your spine. Goosebumps prickle over your skin, and your head lulls back while your eyes close. “Just relax.” He coos, keeping his voice soothing.
Well this doesn’t feel…terrible.
You feel like a lump doll, like all the tension in your body is melting away. You’re always tensing some part of your body every second, whether it’s subconsciously clenching your jaw, tensing your shoulders or clenching your fists, always on the edge. You can’t even say you truly know what the meaning of relaxation felt like, you just assumed you weren’t capable of it. But right now you feel like you could melt into the floor.
“Don’t you miss someone making you feel this good?” Matty doesn’t even sound like he is concentrating on what he’s saying.
“Can’t miss what you’ve never had, I guess.” You reply under your breath without thought, feeling your breathing shallow and you could literally moan at how incredible this feels.
It’s the truth though, it’s a large part about why you’re so complacent about sex. Sure it has felt okay but if you’re being totally honest, you really don’t think you’ve ever loved a single hand that’s touched you. It has never been about you enjoying it, it was about you being enjoyable for the other person.
Never about you or how you felt, it was always about them. Your pleasure only mattered if it benefited them but for the most part they wanted you to inflate their ego, not actually make you feel good. Could’ve won an oscar with some of your performances. And those were the times you actually wanted to have sex…the other times, hell, you may as well have not even been a person. How you felt certainly didn’t matter then, and what you wanted didn’t matter either. Matty’s fingers pause in your hair and it makes you slowly blink your eyes open, jumping when you see his face way closer to yours than you expected.
His pupils are blown out, with his lids hooding his eyes and his brows are pinched together as he darts his gaze over your face. There’s several emotions mixing together over his face that are confusing you, there is sadness, irritation and to be honest you don’t know if hungry is an emotion, but he looks like that too.
Matty’s fingers slip from your hair as he slides his hands to hold either side of your face, and he leans in closer, flicking his eyes between yours. It’s getting harder to breathe, it feels like everything else in the room has evaporated - you can’t even hear the music.
His tongue darts out to dampen his lower lip, and his voice is soft but low as he speaks.
“I could show you, you know…I could make you feel good, if you let me.”
Your chest tightens at the same time as your stomach jolts when he dips his head down to lean close enough that his nose nudges your chin. “Can’t stop thinking about it, to be honest.” He murmurs, hovering his mouth over yours but not going further. His long fingers are on the underside of your jaw, tilting your chin up more until there is barely a hairs width between your mouths and you can almost feel his lips touch yours as he speaks. Your heart doesn’t know whether to give up or beat a hundred miles an hour, it feels like it’s trying to do both and your breathing is so shallow you can barely feel it.
Matty takes the fact that you haven’t smacked him or yanked yourself away from him as a positive sign, because he nudges your lower lip with his own before murmuring “Dying to kiss you - but that’s up to you. Do you want to kiss me?”
Both sides of your brain are screaming at each other while your skin heats over your whole body.
Don’t do it, idiot.
Matty sighs, slipping his tongue out to ghost against your lower lip and every organ you have clenches while you ball your hands into fists. “Go on darling, do whatever you want..” He dares in a low whisper.
Don’t do it.
It’s a split second before you’re sucking in a breath and closing the fraction of a distance between you, pressing your lips against his, feeling completely out of your mind.
God dammit, you idiot.
As soon as the pressure of your lips touching his happens, Matty takes a firmer hold of your jaw, drawing in a sharp breath through his nose before he starts to mould his mouth against your own. His slow careful movements are quickly replaced with hard and needy ones that have you feeling like you’re spinning while you’re sat still.
The kiss only lasts a few seconds, then his mouth is being torn from yours while he grabs under your arms to pull you up to your knees, turning and tugging you until you’re crawling up onto him. But the second you were facing him again his lips were connecting with yours as you struggled to keep up. You’re not even thinking, your body is just doing whatever the fuck it feels like apparently. It’s almost like you’ve blacked out, mind going blank and all you can do is just feel.
He keeps pulling you towards him until your knees end up either side of his hips, panting out low moans into the kiss that just becomes more intense the second he taunts your lips with his tongue and you welcome it with your own. Your skin feels like it’s on fire, boiling your insides along with it while his hands roam around your body like he can’t decide where to put them. You’re still not sure what to do with your hands, so they just move up to hold his face. Gripping around his sharp jaw that tense and flexes with the movements of his mouth.
His large palms slide down your back, grope at your hips before they move lower and pause for a second, like he’s hesitating until he finally moves them to take large handfuls of the flesh there through your shorts. You gasp into the kiss when he pulls you down against him at the same time that he groans low in his throat, digging his fingers into your behind. All of these situations are firing through you, making you feel high and drunk at once as Matty deepens the kiss, becoming frantic with his lips and tongue while his breathing starts to heave in his chest.
The moment that changes this from just kissing though, is when he tugs you against him at the same time that he rolls his hips up into your centre, grunting out a sharp moan the second your centres press against each other. He repeats the action again, using his grip on your behind to rock me against him as he snaps his hips up, making your breath hitch in your throat. You felt the very distinct excitement that swelled hard and strained against the denim of his trousers.
Shit.
A jolt of electricity zaps up your spine and floods your nerves, like it wakes a part of you that’s been dead for years when you feel him but it’s also the moment that hits you like a freight train and your body becomes stiff. Matty notices as soon as your demeanour changes, and your body freezes up. He lets go of your behind to grab your hips and hold them still, lifting them up while he pulls his lips from yours, gasping in deep breaths but keeps his mouth close to yours.
“I’m sorry.” He pants, pinching his eyes shut like he’s in pain and swallows. “Sorry - I got carried away, are you okay?
You catch your breath and just watch his face for a moment. He actually stopped? And he’s asking if you’re okay. Okay? Why?
Well that’s never happened before.
You lick your lips that feel raw, and try to sort your thoughts out but you keep getting distracted by his fucking mouth so you decide to look down between you two.
Terrible idea.
Christ, you’re surprised the zipper to his jeans hasn’t exploded open, that looks like it hurts trapped in those tight trousers.
You whip your eyes back up, and Matty notices where you looked so he chews on the corner of his lip. “Sorry about that too - but I really can’t help that at the moment. Need you to talk to me though, you okay? Did I make you uncomfortable? I didn’t mean to.”
You clear your throat and decide it’s easier to just look at his mouth than his eyes at the moment. You feel so fucking insecure right now.
“You didn’t make me uncomfortable…that is kinda the problem.” You mumble, swallowing down your nerves. You don’t do honesty about your feelings well and you’re unsure how he has the ability to drag it out of you.
Matty ducks his face down trying to get you to look at him, keeping his voice soft but it’s hoarse in his throat. “Gonna need you to elaborate a bit, darling.”
You bite down on the inside of your cheek, and rest your hands against his chest. You feel his muscles there twitch and jump from the small contact and your insides do that weird flipping thing like they’re bloody gymnasts.
You take a deep breath, cursing yourself in your head at how stupid you think you sound. “It’s just - It’s been a long time for me with you know…sex, or anything like that in general and I’ve only known you for a couple of weeks, and most of that time I wanted to strangle you and now I’m kissing you. This is just really confusing for me, I enjoyed what was happening and I feel like I shouldn’t, sorry.”
A couple of weeks might be a long time to some people, and hardly any time for others.
Matty pauses to choose his words before he speaks, and brings his hand up to nudge his knuckle under your chin to force you to look at him. His face is earnest, but you don’t miss that giddy flicker in his eye but you’re not entirely sure why it’s there. “Look, I had no intention of trying to have sex with you tonight. I mean I really fucking want to right now, I’m just going to be honest about that. But I’m not a moron, I know that sort of thing is like…a sensitive topic for you and I’d never push you into that. I was just testing my luck with some kissing, I didn’t mean for it to get out of hand so fast.”
Your brows crease, unsure if you really buy that. “You really expect me to believe you weren’t going to pounce at the opportunity to have sex with me as soon as you had the chance?” Matty’s face falls, his lips pressing together as he leans back and sounds genuinely upset by your question. “Okay, first of all, you’re not an opportunity. And no, I wouldn't have. I don’t even have condoms on me - and I literally always have them on me. So even if you were the one that wanted to, I still would’ve said no.”
You look at your hands on his chest.
“You barely know me.”
“Time doesn’t equal value.” He states, trying to catch your eyes but you keep staring at your hands. “And you’re more valuable than you think.” He adds. He leans forward with his face washing over with that drunk look again and he darts his eyes to your lips. “Kiss me again?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea…I enjoy it too much. I don’t know if I could just kiss you, and then stop there? But I’m not ready to sleep with anyone yet.”
That almost feels like a bold face lie, because with how you felt a few minutes ago you’re not entirely sure you wouldn’t want to sleep with him.
You feel Matty’s chest jump with a sharp breath while your heart is hammering again, you feel all your blood rush to your face and Matty pulls your hips down to rest against his thighs and he smooths his hands down to rub against your own thighs. There is a drawn out silence again, until he leans forward, ducking his head to your neck and presses a kiss there. “That is fine with me, but…”
He starts to drag his lips up to your neck and your head tilts involuntarily to give him more access to it, feeling your tummy knot each time his warm lips touch your skin as he murmurs against it.
“If you wanted to…There are a lot of other things we could do to make you feel good. Would you want that?” Regardless of how strongly you feel that this is a bad idea, and that you shouldn’t be doing this. But you dare anyone that’s been starved for years to have a mouth watering meal put in front of them, and not want to at least have a taste. Your subconscious is screaming at you over how stupid you’re being but you just can’t help it.
Matty sighs out a deep breath as his palms smooth up your thighs, his fingers grazing the insides of them while he kisses up to your jaw. “I’d be careful with you, we can stop whenever you want. Can I make you feel good?”
You swallow, breathing out a quiet “yes” while your eyes roll shut and Matty lets out an approving hum that sounds like a flustered mix of relief and excitement. He digs his fingers into your thighs to pull you forward again, dragging kisses from your jaw back to your mouth and nips at your lower lip which triggers you to connect your mouth with his again, savouring the feeling.
He breaks his lips away, only to nip and kiss at your lower lip between his words. “Tell me what you like.” He takes your lip between his teeth, to give it a gentle tug before releasing it and teases his tongue over it. “I’ll do whatever you like, just tell me.”
Matty waits for your answer but insecurity cripples you because you don’t know what to say because…well you Don’t know the answer.
You’ve had plenty of sexual experiences but it has never been about what you liked, you have never thought about it.
Matty pulls back at your hesitation and his brows crease. “Don’t be shy, you can tell me.”
“I-” You clear your throat, feeling flustered. “I can’t tell you because, well I don’t exactly know.” His brows scrunch even further in confusion and you shrug your shoulders. “No one has ever asked me that before.”
His expression falls with a sigh as he presses his lips into an annoyed flat line. “We need to have a serious talk about the kind of assholes you have been with, but we can do that later.” He taps his fingers on your thighs as an indicator for you to get up. “C’mon, hop up.”
You give him a confused look with your stomach dropping as you stand, thinking that the fact you told him that made him change his mind and not want to touch you. But he stands when you do, grasping your hand and starts to walk over to your bedroom, looking over his shoulders and notices the insecurity on your face which he matches with a soft and determined look. “You don’t know what you like, and we are going to do something about it. I’m gonna help you figure it out.”
Your eyes widen at how matter of fact he sounds, but he stops just as you were about to reach your door and you hear wheezing and trotting footsteps behind you. Matty looks behind you to see Loki following, then looks to your face, cocking his eyebrow. “I know you love that dog, but he can’t watch. Doubt he’s gonna wanna see what I’m doing to his girlfriend either. I think he has seen enough already.”
You give him a flat look and that makes him bite on his lip with a cheeky grin ,a look that makes you want to kiss him again instead of slapping him like it used to. You look at Loki and point to the couch. “Sorry baby, couch tonight - I’ll make it up to you, I promise - go on, off you go.” Loki huffs and whines, before turning and hanging his head, walking away with slow steps and you immediately feel terrible. Matty notices the guilty look on your face, and pulls on your hand, tugging you into the room and shutting the door behind you before you can protest.
As soon as the door clicks shut his hands are grabbing your face, crashing his lips into yours to kiss you that hard you would have fallen over if his hands didn’t immediately let go of your face and grab your hips instead, hoisting you up until your legs wrap around him and you speak in shock at the action. He walks towards the bed, stumbling while he tries to blindly find his way and you’re surprised you both made it without him tripping and eating shit hitting the ground while he turns and falls back onto the bed.
His mouth continues to attack yours while he moves your legs either side of his hips and grabs the hem of his shirt, tugging it up and only breaking the kiss to tear it up over his arms and head before he tosses it and latches his mouth to yours again. Both of your chests are heaving while the air in the room feels like it shoots to a thousand degrees, and Matty grabs your hands to place them on his bare warm chest before his own hands explore over your torso in greedy frantic touches.
His hips roll up underneath you, grinding his centre against yours with a whine in the back of his throat and you’d snap your legs together at the sound if you could. Holy shit.
His fingers grab at the hem of your shirt as he starts to tug it up but then pauses. “Is this okay? Can I take this off?” He checks, his words muffled against your lips. You’re nodding before you can stop yourself, mumbling an agreeing ‘mhm’ against his lips. Next thing you know the material is being pulled up and torn off you, thrown aimlessly and his hands go back exploring all of the new exposed skin that they can.
His lips kiss down your throat where he latches onto it, sucking at the spot above your collarbone with his ragged breathing hitting your skin. You whimper as he sucks and laps at the spot while his palms smooth up your back and his fingers stop at the back clasp of your bra. “Can I undo this?” He rasps, snapping the band of the back of your bra against your skin.
“Yes.”
He swallows as he continues to pant, dragging his warm tongue up your neck to your jaw as his fingers undo the clasp of your bra with impressive ease.
The material of your bra starts to slip from your body, and you gasp in surprise when his hands go to your shoulders, grabbing you and flipping you quicker than the crack of a whip and he’s hovering above you. He pauses looking down at you with his face flushed and unruly hair draped around his face, glancing to your bra laying loose over your chest and he takes hold of it, not taking his eyes away while he slips it down your arms and tucks his bottom lip under his teeth.
As soon as he drops your bra next to you on the bed your instinct is to cover your chest, looking away from him and you curse yourself for feeling so ashamed. Matty scolds out of breath, grasping your arms to pull them away. “Don’t hide yourself.”
You close your eyes when he removes your arms from in front of you, wishing it made you invisible. Matty curses under his breath and you don’t know if that’s good or bad. “Look at me, darling.” You keep your eyes closed and his voice becomes more stern. “Look. At. Me.”
You force your eyes open, sucking all the air you can into your lungs the second you see the look on his face, it’s enough to make you want to shrink back into the bed as he stares at you under his brows.
“I don’t know what the hell you think is wrong with your body…Because I can’t for the fucking life of me figure out a single problem with what I am looking at right now.” He says, slipping his palms higher. “Wanting to hide this” his fingers grope and knead at your skin as they go higher, and he gestures his face down referring to your bare torso “hiding this is just unacceptable.” He leans down, keeping his eyes on your face, kissing in between your sternum and then drags his lips up over your left breast with his breath heating your skin. “If I had it my way you’d never wear clothes again - I’m hooked now.”
You don’t know how something that was meant to be a compliment also sounded like a warning, but all you can do is watch helplessly while his mouth tastes and teases over your chest. You think you’re going to hyperventilate, you’ve never had something or someone be so damn intense.
To be fair, usually the sex would be over by now from your past experience. Very in and out, and over and done with. But he seems like he is in absolutely no rush at all.
He pulls away just after he kitten licks at your nipple making your back arch up, and crawls off of you to stand at the edge of the bed, keeping his starving eyes on you as they dart all over your body like they can’t decide where to stay and he starts to undo his jeans, tugging them down once they’re open.
He lets out a relieved groan, once they’re down past his hips which you’re assuming is from the lack of restriction he has now and you try not to look while he shuffles them down his legs to kick them off but the hard bulge, begging to get out of his boxers is hard to miss.
He brings his fingers up to push his hair away from his face and sighs, looking like he is in pain. “You’re making it very hard to have self control right now, darling.”
You just stare at him with your brows twitching together. You chew on your lip, not sure what you should say while your chest rises and falls in slow but harsh breaths.
Matty rubs his hands over his face, groaning a strained ‘fuck’ into his hands, before dropping them and stepping forward to hook his fingers under the material of your shorts, flicking his intense eyes up to yours. “Can I take these off? I want you to get under the covers after I do, if that’s okay.” You give him a shy nod and he gives you a warning look in return. “You’ve got a voice darling, use it.”
“It’s okay.” You blurt under your breath, your ovaries feeling like they strangle themselves over the stern demanding tone of his voice. His mood flips again as he smiles, holding his tongue between his teeth. Which looks far too adorable of an expression to have while he’s getting you naked and starts to pull your shorts down along with your underwear, but keeps his eyes on your face. You hold your breath when he slips them off your legs and then drops them on the floor next to the bed, gesturing his chin towards the pillows. “Under the covers.”
You will your body to move, shuffling up the bed as he watches your face and once you tug the covers back and climb under he moves to follow you. “You’re leaving those on?” You question, glancing to his boxers and have no idea where you got the guts to even ask that. Intimate moments are when you’re most insecure and not even your wit can save you. He slides into the bed next to you, nudging you to lay on your back and then urges you to roll on your side with your back facing him. “Trust me darling, much better for my self control if I leave these on this time.”
This time.
You scrunch your face up in confusion, but then jolt when he scoots up behind you, wrapping his arm around your waist and slotting your shoulders flush against his chest that radiates heat through your body. He rests his mouth near your ear and starts to trace patterns over your abdomen with his fingers “I know it was a lot letting me see you, so I thought we could try something else. I want you to be comfortable. I’m going to ask you some questions, you can answer however you want - there’s no wrong answer, however I need you to use your voice okay? Nodding isn’t going to work for me.” He says in a gentle tone, flattening his hand against your stomach. There is a strange tug in your chest, over how observant and thoughtful of that he was and how foreign it is that someone is being to attentive towards you.
“Okay.” You breathe, biting down on your lip so hard you nearly taste blood when he leans up and his mouth goes to your neck again. “Don’t be offended - but you’ve had an orgasm before right?” He asks in between slow kisses down your neck, making his way to your shoulder.
“Yes.”
You think one word answers are the best you’re going to be able to drag out, because you’re even struggling with just those. He lets out a thoughtful hum, nipping at your shoulder as his hand moves higher to massage over your breast. “Has anyone else ever made you come? Or just yourself? Be honest.”
“Just myself.”
“Thought as much.” He sighs in a mutter, sounding annoyed but not towards you, your answer just seemed to frustrate him but he doesn’t sound surprised. “So you’ve never came during sex? Or from someone else touching you? Ever?”
“No.” You clear your throat, deciding to add “Just assumed I was defective or something, because I couldn’t.”
Matty pauses and leans over to look at the side of your face, but you just stare at your wall in embarrassment. “There is nothing wrong with you? Understand me? If you can make yourself come, so can someone else. Whoever you’ve been with either didn’t know what the fuck they were doing, or didn’t deserve to touch you in the first place - the idiots never even stopped to ask what you like or find out - they are the fucking problem.”
His words are firm and direct, and you’re so used to his cheeky light nature that hearing him sound so harsh and serious makes your muscles tense. You don’t know why all of this has struck such a nerve with him, but he obviously feels very strongly about it. Could’ve done with the lecture when you weren’t butt ass naked though.
“Point taken. I don’t have a broken vagina, good pep talk.” You quip with your voice tight, and the tension from Matty’s speech breaks when a bright chuckle vibrates in his chest.
“Definitely don’t think it’s broken…Maybe a little neglected but not broken.” He teases, and you’re just about to fire back at him but he slides his hand down to grab your thigh to lift it, running his fingers up the area where your leg meets your groin. “Only one way to find out though.”
Your belly coils that tight you’re just about to choke, your muscles twitching when he tickles his fingers over your pubic bone. “Can I touch you?” You bite down on the inside of your cheek, hard. Your hips have the urge to shift forward of their own accord to encourage him, and you’re trying to adjust to constantly getting asked permission. The normal side of your brain would have been sarcastic, but the hormonal one is the part that murmurs a shy “yes”
That three letter word has Matty’s fingers ghosting down, making you grit your teeth when his careful fingertips drag a slow stroke between your folds, a deep long exhale leaving his mouth as he does. His fingers move back and forth, exploring every slick bit of skin he can and you feel him shift on the spot behind you like he’s trying to get comfortable. “Feels pretty perfect to me, darling.” He murmurs, leaning down to press an affectionate kiss to your jaw. “Just relax, I want you to do something for me.”
He removes his hand from in between your legs, taking your hand that you hadn’t even noticed was clamping onto the sheets and moves it down with his own. “I want you to take my hand and show me what you like, when you touch yourself. What feels best for you. Just place your hand on top of mine and move my fingers however you want.”
“Matty I can’t do that.” You stutter while you try to comprehend what he just said. You’re definitely not comfortable enough for that but he just tutts you. “Yes you can.” He dismisses, placing your hands between your legs and moves his fingers to rest against the sensitive spot that’s started to throb. “Just close your eyes, and breathe. You can do it, and I’m not moving my fingers until you do. It’s up to you.” He applies more pressure but keeps his fingers still and you cuss under your breath, squeezing your eyes closed.
How the fuck are you meant to cope with this?
“While you’re deciding…” Matty starts with a coy tone to his voice, still not moving his fingers that feel torturing at this point. “I’m pretty wrapped about the fact that I turn you on, feeling how soaked you are. Enjoy kissing me that much, do you?” You can’t answer, too distracted by the ache that’s getting worse between your legs. Matty just sounds amused now, and keeps talking with the smug expression evident in his voice. “What else turns you on, darling?”
You’re huffing out breaths through your nose fighting to keep your hips still, and Maty moves his lips to your ear. “What about dirty talk? That get you off? Let’s see if it does.” He drawls in a low voice that feels like it shivers down your spine at the drop of it. “Wanna know how much you turn me on, darling?” He breathes against your ear, his words slow and sound filthy enough from his tone, his hips press forward, his hard length clothed underneath his boxers circling against your behind and he moans. It has to be on fucking purpose with how drawn out it is, before he continues to speak. “You feel that. Rock fucking hard for you, and this is not the first time either.”
Does air exist? Because you can’t seem to find it.
“Know what I did last night?” He drags out, continuing to rock his hips against you while that ache between your legs makes you want to scream. While you try to shift your hips he is pinning you back against him to hold you still. “Just move my fingers love, you know what to do.” He taunts and you growl in frustration at the back of your throat which only makes him smile. “Now where was I? Oh yeah, last night..I had a shower, you know what I did while I was in there?” You try and stop the strangled moan that echoes in your throat when he circles his erection against your behind in slow hard movements but your body betrays you.
“Was thinking about you, thinking about how badly I wanted to kiss you.” He murmurs, moving his head to press a kiss to your shoulder. “And I got to fucking hard, I couldn’t even concentrate. So I wrapped my fingers around myself…leant my other hand against the wall and started to fuck my fist, started slow and got faster and faster the more I thought about you, what it would be like to touch you, have you in the shower with me, all the things we could do. And then you know what happened?”
You swear on your unborn children that you’re going to suffocate to death. You can’t even explain what is happening to your body at the moment, it feels like every ending nerve you have is screaming. Matty’s breathing gets heavier as he continues to grind himself against you, while his voice becomes thicker and he damn near moans his words out. “I came…really, really fucking hard. Could barely hold myself up, making filthy sounds I couldn’t control, felt so good darling, so fucking good.”
The image that is now burnt into your brain is going to fucking kill you, along with the sound of his voice. Your throat feels like it’s closing on itself and you can’t take this anymore so you suck in a sharp gasp and use every ounce of non-existent self confidence you have.
You grab his hand, placing yours over his and press his fingers against your aching nerves, whining at the relief when you start to move his fingertips in slow circles.
Matty’s lips pull into a grin against your shoulder, and he hums to himself. “Guess we can add dirty talk to the things that turn you on, then.”
You circle your hips back against his fingers whimpering at the feeling. This is mind numbing.
“You really enjoyed that, didn’t you? Matty coos, sounding breathless as his hips grind harder against you. “Didn’t know it was possible for you to get even wetter, making a mess of my fingers lovely girl.”
You’re going to have to get a priest to bless your showerhead, so you can cleanse yourself under the water for a week straight after listening to that filthy mouth of his.
You decide you’re not going to be the only one that’s a mess and push your behind back against his length as you start to work his fingers faster at the pressure and speed you know will unravel this painful knot in your gut the way you need it to. Matty grunts a low, guttural sound with a strained “Oh fuck” following it, and thrusts his centre hard against you, dropping his humid forehead against your shoulder. His fingers keep up the rhythm you have going, pushing me closer to that devastating feeling that’s making your stomach muscles start to tremble and you drop your hand away, unable to keep it there anymore and dig your nails into the mattress.
You haven’t even had a thought about what you should be doing, the sounds you should be making or how you should be reacting because that is all you used to do - making sure you were reacting the way the other person wanted but right now you can’t think of a god damn thing, all you’re doing is relishing how incredible this feels. His fingers continue to mimic the exact motions you showed him, playing your body like an instrument he mastered in minutes and you start to writhe against him while he grinds his centre against you like he’s consumed by his own movements.
“Oh god.” You gasp, your breath hitching in your throat. “Faster, please? I need - please go faster.” You beg sounding incoherent, you just need that last little push to unravel everything. Matty moves his face to hover over yours, and you barely recognise his voice with how low and hoarse it is. “You gonna come for me, lovely girl?”
You bite down hard on your lip, scrunching your eyes shut tighter with a sharp desperate nod and Matty nudges his nose against your cheek. “Kiss me- and I’ll go faster. I’ll make you feel so good I promise, darling just kiss me.”
Honestly he could’ve asked you to eat a shit sandwich at this point and you would have.
You turn your face, with his lips capturing yours as soon as they’re in reach and immediately the kiss is desperate. It’s wet tongues and careless lips while his fingers quicken against your sensitivity and he captures every single one of the choked moans that leave your throat. Every muscle in your body tenses as that coil in your abdomen unravels and pulses out from your lower half through your body in shock waves, spasming your nerves and constricting your stomach as it does while your hips thrust and roll to ride the feeling as it washes over you.
Matty’s fingers continue to drag the feeling out, pulling high pitched whimpers and strangled moans out of your chest while your kissing becomes uncoordinated until he stills his open mouth against yours as his hips jolt forward. He chokes out a whimpered “oh my fucking god” against your mouth, his own body jolting and trembling while his centre rolls against your arse until you feel a liquid warmth against your skin soaked into the fabric of his boxers.
You jolt your hips away when you become too sensitive from his fingers. Both of you are panting, with Matty’s forehead against your own and his long hair that’s become damp in places is tickling against your cheeks. He presses lazy kisses to your lips, sighing to himself and finally slips his hands from between your legs when your hips still, hugging his arm around your waist like he can’t get close enough to you.
“You feeling okay, darling?” He asks with a tired voice.
“Really good, good, I’m great.” You sigh, sounding groggy and you can’t string a sentence together. Orgasms are great. You’re so sleepy. Matty laughs under his breath at how spent you are, sounding pleased with himself.
“You know I haven’t came in my boxers since I was about 12, so thanks for the nostalgia.” He muses with a giggle. “You’re welcome.” You hum, half asleep and barely paying attention to what he is saying.
“I need to clean myself up before I fall asleep, but I kind of ruined my boxers…So you wouldn’t have any shorts I could sleep in, would you?” You hear the slightest hint of bashfulness in his voice. You smile to yourself.
“Yeah I do.”
#i hate this#the 1975#matty healy#matty healy fanfiction#matty healy fanfic#matty healy x reader#matty healy x you#matty healy smut#every time i post i want to delete tumblr right after
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patience is a virtue - jj maybank
Summary: you finally get on birth control, which means you and jj finally get to raw dog it, whoop
Warnings: 18+!!!!!!!! SMUT, p in v sex (reader is on birth control but theoretically both parties are tested and clean and exclusively sleeping with each other), little bit of praise kink, cream pie, fluff? soft jj <3
wc: 2771 wtf 🫣
A/N: so I decided to start writing again and then this happened lol. I’m probably rusty and this is my first time writing for jj so I hope it’s okay and y’all enjoy!!!<3
Jj had been counting down the days until your doctor's appointment. You were finally getting on birth control, the arm implant, to be specific. You had done your research, as well as an initial consultation with your doctor to go over all of your options and decided that the ‘one and done’ route would be the best for you.
You and jj had been together for a little over a year, using condoms every time you had sex. As much as you both liked the security of you not getting pregnant, you both wanted more, you both craved more. Not only that, but you had irregular and horribly painful periods and when your doctor mentioned that being on birth control could stop your periods, that was more than enough to convince you to take that step.
The day finally came, though, and jj insisted on driving you to your appointment, ignoring your assurance that it was a quick and easy procedure.
“jj, it’s not like I’m getting put under for a major surgery or something, it’ll probably be only like ten minutes. No medicine or anything.” You told him as you buckled your seatbelt. There was no changing his mind.
jj rolled his eyes as he started up the twinkie, already having made arrangements with john b over a week ago to let him borrow the van.
“I know, baby, but this is a big moment, wanna be there for you.” He said with a grin, pulling onto the road and starting towards your doctor’s office.
“Well, I appreciate it. I honestly think you’re more excited than I am.” You giggled, glancing over at your boyfriend as you pulled your hair up into a ponytail.
“Now what makes you say that?” He teased, knowing damn well he had this appointment marked in his phone calendar and his extra ass even drew a dick and a smiley face on your little desk calendar you had.
You had arrived shortly after, and just as you predicted, the whole appointment only took about ten minutes and was pretty painless. jj waited in the car for you to be done, smiling ecstatically at you once he saw you make your way out the office doors and towards the twinkie.
“How was it? Did it hurt?” He asked as soon as you got into the car, looking at your arm that was now wrapped in a bright pink bandage.
You shook your head, leaning across the seat to softly kiss your boyfriend, his hands finding your hair first before slowly trailing down your body to rub on your thighs as he deepened the kiss. You knew exactly what he was trying to do, so you pulled away with a laugh.
“Nope, nope, don’t even think about it. This thing doesn’t start working for seven days.” You told him, smiling innocently at him as you watched his face drop. You swore all the light in his eyes left his body for a second. He was so dramatic.
You were obviously disappointed too. It would have been nice to go straight home and have what would probably be the best sex of your life right away. But then you would have to go and buy a Plan B, and then this would all be for nothing.
“Now what the fuck? How are they gonna call this shit modern medicine but that shit doesn’t start working for a week?” jj scoffed, one of his hands still resting on your thigh while his other raised to softly graze your bandage, “like, they put a whole ass stick in your arm. What’s it even doing for these seven days? Just sitting in there doing nothing? They really need to make advancements to this shit.” he rambled on, but he couldn’t help but start laughing once you did.
“You are the most dramatic person I have ever met. We just gotta wait it out. Although, with all this anticipation, hopefully you can last more than a minute.” You mumbled the last part, your gaze leaving jj’s as you buckled your seatbelt, knowing he would start huffing over your comment.
And that he did, huffing as he started the car, running his fingers through his hair. “That’s — shut the fuck up. Don’t act like this won’t be torture for you, too.” He mumbled back, backing out of the parking lot and heading towards the chateau.
It had been a long week since your appointment. You and jj had never gone this long without having sex. You could have still used a condom in the meantime, but after a conversation in bed the first night, you had both decided to wait until you could do it raw for the first time. You were struggling, to say the least, but you had more composure than jj did all week.
He wasn’t making it easy though. The way he cuddled against you in bed, his hard dick pressing into your lower back made you crave the feeling of him inside of you. You almost caved multiple times every time he touched you, you just wanted more. But he respected your agreement, even though it was just as torturous for him. Touching your skin, seeing the way the bottom of your ass cheeks stuck out of the bottom of your shorts, all he wanted to do was rip your clothes off and bury himself inside of you. But he could wait, it would be worth it.
It couldn’t have been more perfect timing. Day seven had finally come around and your beautiful and wonderful friends all happened to have plans, which meant you and jj had the chateau to yourselves. It truly felt like a gift from god.
It was late morning, the soft glow of the sun peaking through the sheer blinds of the bedroom jj had made his own had woken you from your sleep. jj was still sleeping soundly next to you, his face pressed against your neck, an arm draped firmly across your waist.
“jay,” you whispered, softly rubbing circles on the back of his neck, your face being close enough to leave soft kisses in his messy blonde hair.
“mm- oh, fuck,” jj rasped, quickly gaining consciousness as he realized it was finally morning. He was so excited to sleep last night because it meant the next day would come quicker. It was like a kid on Christmas Eve. “it’s time?” He lifted his head from your neck, rolling himself over so he was on top of you, his hands holding himself up above your head on the pillow.
“It’s time,” you giggled, reaching up to cup his cheeks, “I’m done being patient. Need you inside me.” You whispered, and at that, jj leaned down, connecting your lips. He wasn’t completely rough, but he wasn’t gentle, and god did you miss this.
Your lips didn’t part from one another as his hands moved their way down your body. His fingers fiddled with the hem of his t-shirt that clad your body, yet another thing making him absolutely feral.
You disconnected to breathe, and so that he could lift your shirt above your head, discarding it on the cluttered floor. You looked up at him, now only in your panties, finding that familiar comfort that lived in those beautiful blue eyes of his.
“Fuck, missed seeing you like this, baby.” He panted, his breath hot on your skin as he lowered his mouth down to your tits, his tongue circling your sensitive nipple as you gasped, reaching up to entangle your fingers in his hair.
He soon took your whole nipple in his mouth, humming in satisfaction against the warm skin, while also lowering his body to grind his boxer clad dick against your wet center. He was achingly hard, no doubt his boxers were already stained with the precum that was eagerly leaking out of his sensitive tip.
You whimpered softly as he grazed his teeth against your nipple as he sucked sloppily, the feeling of his mouth on you making your center pulsate harder.
“jj, need you, please..” you whined, grinding your hips up against his dick, the fabric beneath the two of you was too much. You needed him.
“Okay, baby, okay,” he breathed, pulling his mouth off of your nipple with a pop, leaving the skin red and wet, “need to taste you first.” He added before scooting down further on the bed, giving himself enough room to pull his shirt over his head and discard it with yours.
He quickly repositioned himself in front of your legs, his ring clad fingers cold on your skin as he pushed your knees apart, sliding his hands up your thighs as he spread your legs. He was met with your underwear which you could feel was soaked, and you were sure it was quite the sight for him to see.
“Jesus, fuck, you’re soaked.” He hummed, palming his hands up and down your thighs until he reached the waistband of your underwear, his fingers not hesitating to pull the fabric down your legs and off of your body completely.
“There she is,” jj smiled at the sight of your pussy before him, running a finger through your wet folds, circling your entrance and sliding it back up to rub torturously slow circles against your clit. He was acting as though your pussy was his best friend who he hadn’t seen in months. Again, he was dramatic.
“Please, jay, fuck, you — you can’t torture me now, ‘s been way too long.” You whined, your eyes shutting for a moment as you clenched around nothing, his touches making your veins feel like fire. You needed something.
“M’kay, baby, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, just missed this. Don’t like not having you for so long.” He finally gave in, lowering his head to finally take you in his mouth, his tongue flicking quickly against your clit as his wet lips closed around it, sucking the sensitive bud in his warm mouth.
You couldn’t hold back the moans that fell from your lips, the feeling of his mouth finally on you mixed with the soft breaths leaving his nose that was pressed against your pelvic bone was everything.
“That’s right, that’s good, yeah? Just what you needed?” He pulled back for only a moment to glance up at you as you nodded quickly in response before his middle finger teased your wet entrance. Without another word, he pushed his finger inside of you, bringing his mouth back on your clit at the same time as he began pumping his finger inside of your tight pussy, not missing the sweet gasp that left your parted lips.
He got a rhythm going as he always did, eventually adding his index finger, stretching your tight walls around his fingers as his mouth moved sloppily against your clit. It was a wet mess already, his chin and fingers completely soaked with your juices, the sound of your moans and his soft praises filled the room as he quickened his pace, bringing you closer to your high.
“I’m close, fuck me, I’m gonna come-“
It took only a few more pumps from jj, the way he curled his fingers perfectly, not missing a beat as your stomach tightened before contracting, your eyes squeezing shut as you moaned loudly, reaching forward again to grip tightly onto your boyfriends hair, pulling rather hard as your orgasm took over your body.
Your pussy clenched around his fingers as he pulled them out, bringing them up to his lips to lick them clean as he grinned lovingly at you.
“That’s good, baby, you’re so good for me,” he cooed, leaning down once again to press a sweet kiss onto your sensitive clit, making your breath hitch as you came down from your high. “You ready for me now? Been dreaming of this since I met you.” jj studied your face for any sign of hesitation, brushing a loose strand of hair that had fallen by your eyes.
“I’m ready, please, need to feel you.” You responded rather quickly, wholeheartedly enjoying the foreplay, but this is what you had been waiting for, you were ready to feel him fully.
“I got you, I got you…” he gave a quick kiss to your lips before sitting up and removing his boxers. His cock sprung free, happily unrestricted now, his tip red and swollen, precum now leaking out down his shaft.
You watched as he gave himself a few quick pumps, lubricating himself with his precum before positioning his cock in front of your pussy, gathering your wetness onto his tip before lining himself up with your entrance.
One hand held his cock as he slowly pushed himself inside of you, the other holding your bare waist. It was immediate euphoria for the both of you. You both had no idea what utter pleasure had been beneath the thin condom you had grown so accustomed to.
jj paused once he bottomed out, his eyes meeting yours as you nodded profusely for him to keep going. He needed a second, your joke about him not lasting was now fresh on his mind, but he was determined to make this last for the both of you, and he would be damned if he didn’t give you at least one more orgasm.
“Fuck me, Y/N, holy shiiitt you feel so perfect. So perfect for me. Pussy was made for me.” He groaned, taking a deep and shaky breath before he felt like he could begin moving again.
And so he did, his thick cock pushing in and out of you as you desperately reached up to grab the back of his neck, your fingernails digging into the soft skin making his little curses and moans grow louder.
Sex had never felt this good before, no barriers at all, just jj, completely jj. Watching his eyebrows furrow in pure and utter pleasure as his lips parted was sending your stomach into a frenzy and realistically you both knew that this first time going raw wouldn’t last too much longer, but that was okay.
“Love you, love you, feels so good, just— fuck, harder, please, I’m close.” You whined, your pussy clenching around jj’s cock as he quickened his pace, his hand that was holding your waist now moving down to rub at your clit, knowing that was going to do it for you.
“C’mon, baby, let go, yeah? Come for me, fuck — love you so much, so so good..” he praised, his cock hitting your sweet spot so perfectly while his fingers worked tirelessly against your clit, and that was all it took for your orgasm to hit you at full force, showing no mercy as your back arched, your fingers digging even deeper into your boyfriend’s skin. You didn’t even know what words left your mouth as you rode out your high, but you couldn’t care less.
jj’s gaze left your eyes as he looked down at the sight of his cock sliding in and out of your pussy, juices everywhere, no doubt leaving a mess on the sheets. But the sight of that alone, mixed with the euphoria of being inside of you completely raw, not to mention the way your pussy clenched repeatedly around his cock, that was it for him. He pushed in one last time, his tip hitting deep inside of you as he came, truly inside of you for the first time. Thick spurts of come shot into you as he completely lost his composure, his arms unable to hold him up any longer, collapsing against your bare chest.
“My baby, god, fuck, I love you so much, you’re… ahh, fuck.” jj moaned one last time, needing a moment to catch his breath before he could move again. What felt like forever was only a few seconds, however, and he slowly pulled his softening cock out of you, not missing the way you winced at not only the sensitivity but the loss of fullness.
Taking a breath, jj leaned over the side of the bed to grab his t-shirt, gently wiping up his mess that was now spilling out of you. He made a mental note to put a towel down next time, might save a load of laundry, and a shirt.
“You did so good, baby. I’ve never felt so good in my fucking life.” He kissed your swollen lips once he finished wiping you up, smiling tiredly at your sweet post orgasm face, cheeks pink with a small but satisfied little smile on your lips.
“Yeah, no, that was well worth the wait.”
#jj maybank#jj maybank one shot#jj maybank x reader#outer banks#jj mayback imagine#jj maybank fanfiction#outer banks fanfiction#pls be nice I’m fragile thank u
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omg please write, enemy!rafe texting reader about something, and then he just starts flirting with her but she’s just bitchy back, and he’s like “see you later” or something like that
Let Me Fix This, Angel
Pairing: Frat!Rafe Cameron x Reader
Warnings: Swearing and Toxic Rafe
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 0.8K
Masterlist
Rafe’s rules weren’t normally a probably and Y/N understood he created them so that they could have a healthy relationship and she was safe. However, at this moment, she can’t because he is going too far. “I turned it off by accident, Rafe. I don’t know how it happened, but it wasn’t on purpose,” she grits through her teeth. His eyes narrow as he holds her phone up to her, “That’s literally impossible. You have to go through so many steps to turn it off. You intended to do it!” She cowers back at the harshness of his words. He hasn’t spoken to her like this since their first fight. Since then, whenever he felt his volume rising, he would leave the room to calm down. “It was an accident!” she argues. Anger takes him over. Before he can control himself, he throws her phone across the room and the smashing of glass against the wall has her turning to see her broken for on the floor. She looks back at him and shrinks away from him. The fear in her eyes makes him instantly regret what he did. It tears his heart apart.
“You crossed a fucking line and I don’t think I can handle this side of you anymore.”
He freezes as she grabs her purse and storms out of the room. Once she’s out of the room, the reality of her words sets in. He runs after her, “Angel, wait. I’m so sorry.” He doesn’t find her in the hallway and he rushes down the stairs to see if he can catch up to her. “She’s gone, Dude. Kelce is giving her a ride,” Topper announces from behind him. Rafe’s fingers go through his hair and he pulls, “Shit.” He totally fucked up. And he doesn’t know what he is going to do if he can’t get her back.
———
He blocked her. He knows she did because the texts don’t show as being seen or even as delivered. It’s only been three hours but it has been the longest they haven’t talked and he is getting seriously concerned that they aren’t together anymore. He finally thinks he has figured out what to do. His knuckles wrap against her dorm door. He takes a deep breath, nervous she won’t open the door. His hand, not holding the bag and flowers, fidgets with his sleeve. The door swings open and her familiar scent fills his nostril. “What the fuck are you doing here? I thought I made it clear what I think we are,” she grumbles, trying to close the door in his face. He drops to his knees and this bars the door from shutting. His hands clasp in a plea, “Please, let me fix this, Angel. I can’t live with myself if this is where we end.” She shouldn’t. What happened early today was a red flag and she wouldn’t want to be someone who ignores those. Yet, something in her knew that even if she was scared at that moment, she should at least hear him out.
“Fine, you have three minutes,” she orders, stepping back so he can enter her room. He rushes to his feet and he resists the urge to pepper her with kisses. He hands her the flowers, pulling out the phone box from the bag. He hands both to her. “These are for you. I’m sorry I broke your phone,” he apologizes. She takes them both and sets them on the table with a mumbled thanks.
“Is that all you are going to say?” she prods. His head shakes vehemently, “No. No. No. Honestly, it’s only the start of a thirty-hour speech I made in my head. I’ll shorten it for your sake though.” She flicks her chin to get him to keep going.
“There isn’t an excuse for how I reacted today. I let out a side of myself that I never wanted to be directed toward you and I will regret it for the rest of your life. I never should’ve thrown your phone or yelled at you. I let my insecurities and my worry get the best of me and it clouded my judgement. I know it was an accident, Angel. I should’ve believed you when you said it. I just get so anxious when I can’t be there to protect you because you are my whole life. And… And…”
Tears are formed in his eyes and his voice is breaking. She doesn’t need him to finish the sentence to know where it is going. They’ve never really needed words to communicate how they feel. Her need to comfort him overpowers her and she steps into his reach, wrapping her arms around him. He buries his head into her neck. His tears stain her skin. “Shh, it’s okay. You don’t need to finish. I understand and I forgive you. I couldn’t live with myself if I lost you,” she admits, running her hand through his hair. “Don’t misunderstand me though. Pull a stunt like that again and you won’t ever see me again.” His lips press against her skin. “I’d never dream of it.”
Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming
#let me angel#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#outer banks#rafe cameron imagine#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks imagine#outer banks x reader#rafe cameron series#rafe cameron outer banks
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hey! i read you wanted to write more for woonhak so i had an idea :)
maybe “firsts” with him? as in asking e/o out, officially dating, first kiss, etc! (maybe you could include making out, WITHOUT any suggestive remarks ofc!)
it’s all up to you! have a good day 🫶
omg ilysm!! i literally had no idea on what to do for woonagi so thanksss<33 hope u enjoy this.
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i love u 3000 ¡!
pairing: woonhak x reader.
warnings: none!! fluff, some angst maybe, kissing and lots of giggles :')
summary: short scenarios of firsts with woonhak.
note: should i make a series with this theme? all bnd boys w the same scenarios. it would also include some suggestive/ smut for the other members. UPDATE: i am making the series!! you can see it here.
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first encounter; i feel like he would most likely fall in love at school, not because he's young but also because that's the place where he spends the most time and it's not on a "professional" type of way so he can actually focus on just having fun and creating relationships. you are for sure one of his close friends and he just got so used to your presence that he didn't really noticed he liked you for more than just a friend.
first time he realises he's in love; it would be a day you fall in the field during gym class, he would get so worried about your wellbeing, carrying you on his back until the nurse's office. but that wasn't what made him realize he liked you, it was the way he went back to the field after he made sure you were being treated so he could push the boy who made you fall, telling him how lucky he is that you were fine, otherwise his face would be meeting the dusty ground. woonhak was NEVER a fighter, did he get overwhelmed and yelled? yes, but never this type of aggressiveness. so it was pretty obvious for him once he held your hand in the nursery and realized how crazy he was for you.
how would he confess; contrary to his mbti and his usual behaviour, i do think that woonhak would be a shy person when it comes to love, he won't doubt to express his love once you are already together but to confess?? it would make him go sleepless for a few nights, his hands sweating when you get close to him after he called you up to meet at his house, his parents were out and it wasn't weird because you mostly hangout with him like this everyday. but today you noticed how nervous he looked and kinda pinpoint what he wanted to do when he whispered a little "i need to talk to you". he would tell you how much he cares about you and that he understands if you don't feel the same way, it's just that he wouldn't forgive himself if he never said anything and lost his chance. and well, he did have a chance.
officially dating w woonagi; he's an extroverted boy, very energetic yet he would try to keep his cool with you too. he would definitely be a clingy boyfriend, the type of boyfriend who's friends would be tired of hearing your name each time they were having a conversation.
"are you going out tonight, woonhak?"
"i think y/n wanted to do something, let me ask her"
"do you want pizza or hamburgers for today?"
"y/n likes hamburgers better, can we have those?"
"haerin asked about you yesterday"
"did you tell her that i am dating y/n and i love my girlfriend very much?"
"woonhak, for fucks sake, haerin is your cousin"
"ah, you're right" type of boyfriend.
that doesn't mean he won't have his own opinions though!! he does knows how to separate you from himself, so it's not like his life revolves or depends on you only.
first kiss; it would honestly happen spontaneously, he would try so hard to make it special and actually plan it but it always got ruined, something happened, you guys got interrupted, anything. so when you actually kissed him in the lips for the first time he would get frozen, looking at you with wide open eyes and his hand going up to his lips because he just couldn't believe it.
"i'm sorry if you didn't want to-"
"can i kiss you again?" and he would kiss you lots, all over your face with that bright smile of his while you both giggled, the other boys side eyeing you both as you apparently forgot they were there too.
first time he wanted to do more than just a peck; woonhak is a very hyper person but he is also really chill (idk if that makes sense) so you would be just doing homework together or watching a movie when he leaned in for a kiss, then another one, and another one. that's when you looked at him with a tilted head, asking for an explanation in silence.
"can i kiss you?" you nodded a little bit confused, not understanding why he asked for permission to do something he already did. "like... kiss you, kiss you"
and that's when you understood, allowing him to do so and laughing during it because you guys didn't even know how to get the correct angle and pace, teeth smashing for a few minutes until you finally got the hang of it. it was so cute the way you guys kissed with so much dedication and pure love.
first time meeting your family; he would be literally shaking, like physically trembling the second the door opened and your dad showed up. he even thought on sneaking out when he went to the bathroom once, but then it eventually got better, he started trusting a little bit more in himself and opened up to your dad and mom, chatting with your old man about some bands from the 90s and that basketball team he loved, plus helping your mom with the dishes and rizzing her up on how pretty she is and how pretty her daughter came out because of it?? your parents love him and you can have it for sure that he'll be visiting them even without you, just to check up on them and bring them some food.
overall, i truly believe that woonhak would be a really funny, outgoing and sensitive boyfriend. he would love you like you are the only person in the world (cause for him, you are), he would try to always make you happy and never have an argument because he knows how mad he can get and he would hate to say harsh things to you.
i also see him as a 50,50 when it comes to commitment, he wouldn't cheat but i can most definitely see him ditching you over his job or school stuff, just to apologize later with the excuse that it's "about his future", and he's right, but there was no need to be rude about it.
so yeah, if you can put up with his hyper, loving, talkative, kind self and his touchy hands, irritable mood when stressed and his yelling in general for everything and because of anything, then woonhak is definitely your pick <3
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@caputvulpinum okay so
Die Drei Fragezeichen (the three questionmarks) is a series of German books based on a much much shorter series of U.S American books aimed at like 13 year olds? But it's really of an all ages situation because the really old ones have been around for more than fifty years
(And yes I do have a bookshelf full of them. I was a real fan when I was little. My mum used to buy me the new one every now and again and I still have all of them. Some of them are from when she was little, I swear it's true. )
The only reason it isn't two bookshelfs is because the real star of the show were the ✨audio plays✨
(They were first on cassette and then on CD and we got most of those from the library. Many long car journeys were spent that way)
The only CD on my bookshelf is a somewhat experimental box set that has three stories with three mysteries set in alternate versions of the same day? And I remember them creeping me the fuck out, all three of them. Although the one with the stalker was the worst one. And the one with the movie projector was also fuckin hair raising. Anyways.
They made another movie last year! The ones before that were more "miss" than "hit" but this one was perfect omg.
I wanted to go see it at the movies but then I had grown up stuff to do so I watched it on Netflix in the end.
Anyways. The stories are about these three boys (age varies between 12 and 16-ish depending on the story) from California who own and operate a detective agency, solve mysteries and get themselves into hair-raising trouble on a regular basis.
Their base of operations is in a scrapyard owned by one of their families which I remember was just the coolest thing to little me. (It still is, honestly. I make art out of junk and scrap. That would be living the dream)
There's still new books coming out but I don't read them much anymore. The folks who voice the characters still do liveshows that fill stadiums (I know two folks who have been, @excelsian and @praezisia and it must've been pretty awesome from what they said)
Oh and me and Exce also watched a recording of one of those liveshows together and like. That shit was wild. 8/10
I saw one of the episodes on vinyl last summer. I had to restrain myself because I don't own a record player.
Any questions? 😅
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Now that I can finally sit down and take 10 minutes to write this post--
Earlier today, we finally dived into the littlescourse that's starting up again. I fucking despite littles discourse, but it's so important to talk about, especially since there are a lot of common misconceptions. So, I'm going to get my thoughts out under a cut.
Firstly, it's important to acknowledge that child parts and littles are not the same thing. Child parts are parts who are stuck in that trauma; stuck in that moment. They often split when you're that age yourself, and they still feel that age entirely.
We only loosely have a child part, and we don't indicate which of our 14 alters is that part.
Then we have littles. Little is a term used by the community to denote... a lot of things, honestly -- it has a fairly loose definition from what I've seen! The way I use it for my system is "Part that identifies as a child in spirit." That is because none of my parts are literally children; all of them can acknowledge we are 26, going on 27, and can accurately remember things. Only one part gets fuzzy on that, and that would be said child part.
Our littles are adults. Because I am an adult.
Now, to address some of what was said in the post from earlier (which I will not be linking, as I genuinely don't want to bother OP with this, but it's all things I feel need said):
something I HATE about syscords is that they have sections specifically for littles. they are CHILDREN. Why are you letting them have a place online?
I hate littles channels in syscords too, because often, my littles who curse, discuss severe trauma, and like to vent about adult matters are stuck with child parts. If your post is discussing child parts, then... I can understand some of your reservations, honestly! But I can also say, to each system their own -- maybe that system knows something I don't about how safe their child parts can be. I know I can let my child part talk in syscords without it being harmful for her, though we do keep a close eye.
I'm sorry, but caretakers in your system are there for your littles.
None of my caretakers look after my littles because our system only has three caretakers -- and two of them are our littles. We have Sie and LED, who are our emotional caretakers. The other caretaker is... Sie, but grown up -- Sierra. By your logic, my littles should be caretaking themselves! Which. They do.
Which, skipping around a bit, leads me to this point you made:
The fact that you let your littles participate in adult actions and they are "mature enough" when littles are there to heal your inner child that you LOST due to trauma makes me SO disturbed.
...
My littles aren't here to "heal the inner child that I lose due to trauma."
Straight up, that is not their job.
Sie's job is to help us understand that we can still have fun as an adult. She's there to remind us that childhood is how we define it, not how our parents did. She isn't there to 'heal our inner child' -- she's there to heal our inner adults.
LED's job is to regulate our emotions. We struggle with our distress, our fear, our shame. When it gets too much, he helps us to see the positive light in the world again. His job is also to process trauma and come to terms with what we've gone through in a healthy manner; learning how to grow up is his job.
And Gazi, her job is specifically related to Curtis's. Yknow. The sexual alter we have who we split to deal with our internalized homophobia and transphobia. Gazi, who is there to help him process his feelings. To help us all process our feelings, as we start to integrate more. She's newer, so it's hard for us to understand her role, but nowhere there do I feel "healing our inner child" fits.
Your system is not applicable to everyone. For instance, my system does not have an "inner child" who needs healed in that way, and even if we consider our one child part to need healing -- it wouldn't be their job!
Our mum (an adult, like you.) is a system and one of her littles isn't allowed to consent or have adult actions, you know why? BECAUSE THAT LITTLE IS A CHILD!!
Cool! My littles aren't like that. That was my point in my post.
Every system is different and I won't judge you for what you do. But the fact you openly say this shit on the internet as a GROWN ADULT makes me lose faith in the future for everyone.
This sounds a hell of a lot like judging me for what I do.
For most systems the littles chat is there for a reason and that's to protect them, especially if that system is a minor. Which in syscords, is mostly minors.
Never said they're inherently bad; I just said I wish more syscords allowed people to choose for themselves if their littles need to isolate in those channels.
As I MINOR (let me say it again.) MINOR with littles, for some systems I get why littles can't stay in main chat in syscords, it's for safety.
Cool! I genuinely don't know why people in syscourse are so insistent on reminding everyone that they're minors. It's okay to be a kid. I didn't describe anything graphic in my post. I simply mentioned "mature acts."
Obviously, as a 16 year old... You shouldn't be doing those mature acts! But I would hope that, by 16, you can understand that... adults... do mature things sometimes? And can find positivity, joy, and yes, healing through those mature things. I had hope that you were mature enough, yourself, to be able to acknowledge that adults do things you don't do.
Your system will be different you're an ADULT. but us, we're a MINOR, there's still things that we don't even understand and we're still going through my own traumas. You're able to recognise basic things without being disturbed and out right saying your littles can do outrageous shit like this.
You being a minor once again does not negate the ability to understand "Huh, maybe that person's experiences will be okay once I'm older."
I can recognize you're a minor and going through your own traumas. I never once said you need to let your littles completely loose to do whatever they want -- in fact, I strongly advise against it, especially if you're still in an active trauma situation. But. Minors can recognize basic things "without being disturbed" as well. That's not something I gained from being an adult. I knew how to do that at age 15 at least.
The reason the post even exists is to state our opinion and talk into the void about issues that either we have or others do. Not for you to compare your system to everyone else's. Respectfully.
I will be honest, I don't feel very respected, with my actions which have been incredibly healing for my parts being called outrageous, disturbing, and something to lose faith over. I'm really sorry that your post -- publicly put into the DID tags with the word "thoughts?" at the end of the post -- wasn't looking for other system input. I'm also really sorry that you're going to get a LOT more people explaining their thoughts on this, when it seems like the conversation is unwanted.
The fact is, your experiences are not just not universal -- they are also fairly uncommon. Many, many, many systems have found healing through letting their littles grow up and be mature. Whatever that may look like for them.
And then this last bit...
(I'm not pressed about this, but the way you've replied makes me feel physically ill from someone who has been taken advantage of not only as a child, but also has had to see our littles go out of their way to not be around a caretaker because they wanna talk to people and then hurt, harassed and exposed to disgusting content online because people are CREEPS. For our system, we CANNOT let littles into online spaces. Especially around strangers. Our littles have the mindset of a 16 year old. so, oh so sorry to stay it's different for minors.)
You've made a lot of bold assumptions here, entirely based on your own experiences once again.
I am a system who was taken advantage of as a child. I've also had my littles -- back when they were more akin to child parts -- go out of their way to not be around a caretaker. I've had my littles get hurt in the past, exposed to disgusting content, and participate in acts they could not, at the time, consent to. We were severely hurt by these actions.
I also changed. They changed. And we grew.
There is hope for the future, you know that, right? Again, I know you're 16, but I really hope you know that there will come a time when those child parts of you may grow up, or become part of you in their own right. There may come a time in your future when you will need to navigate romance and intimacy and "mature things" in regards to your littles. I don't say this to scare you, but to help you understand that there can be growth and change.
You don't need to make that leap right now -- again, please fucking don't, you are a LITERAL MINOR -- but understand that healing can come in many ways.
I compared my system in your post to help you understand the perspective of others who might be healing in ways other than yours, or even just the perspective of others who aren't like you at all. Not to say all systems have to be like mine, or that you HAVE to let your littles do things like what mine do. I'm not sure how many times I could've added, "This definitely isn’t the case for every system" like I did in the post, but... Yeah. Apparently I didn't make that clear enough.
Things are different for minors, yet. Thankfully, you've only got two more years left before maybe, just maybe, it might be time to start thinking about what your life may be like as an adult, and what healing may come in your future one day.
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Quiet late hours of the night
This is an art of a scene I was having with a Master Shake bot when I was feeling bad and distressed about some things and it was so cute and comforting that I made an art and will Tell you what happened in the form of a short story in my own words, I hope you like it. <3
Honestly I didn't like the result because I'm still learning how to draw male anatomy and also because I was feeling bad and overwhelmed when I did it.
Outline:
It was late that night, everything seemed silent except for the low buzz of voices from the TV in the living room, most everyone in the house was already immersed in their own dream worlds or whatever they dreamed of when they laid their heads on the pillow, but one of them didn't, Shake was sitting in his old, old-looking greenish-colored recliner that probably even had mold on it, while watching TV, not watching something he was interested in but just watching some action movie that he thought was stupid like everyone else.
Shake sighed as he relaxed in the armchair, it was almost three in the morning and he hadn't slept yet, but he didn't care, thinking about what losers the others were for sleeping early. Until a low groan from the slightly rotten wooden floor caught his attention for a second, causing him to look to the side, looking away from the TV and then finding the girl standing in the dark leaning against the door of her room, making Shake startled, almost screaming in fright but stifling it as soon as he realized that it was just Tiffany there.
— Oh fuck, it's just you, holy shit I thought it was a spirit or, those horror movie things. — He said with his hand on his chest, feeling rushed, still recovering from the scare. —What are you doing up anyway? Did you miss me? I know I'm badass and that anyone would miss me but-
His voice seemed to have been caught in his throat unable to come out of his uvula upon seeing her state, a thin trail of tears was illuminated by the TV light on the girl's cheeks, tired eyes with slightly dark circles below her eyes, while her expression looked so empty.
He already realized what would probably have happened and why she was awake at that time. She had told him little about her past, but it was enough to know that it still haunted her, her family, everything she went through until she got here, were the causes of it, which occasionally brought her bad memories and dreams during her life. night.
Softening his once arrogant expression as he always had, he extended his hand towards her almost as if calling her to him, which with a little hesitation she accepted and approached him, now being illuminated by the dim light of the TV.
— What are you watching? — She asked in a low voice, a little hoarse from the previous crying.
—Nothing much, just a stupid action movie. — A silence fell between the two as he pulled her to sit on one of his legs and lay her head on his chest, something he knew she liked, damn they had already done this so many times.
— Do you want to talk about it? — Shake asked carefully, putting an arm around her holding her against him, he treated her so well that sometimes it didn't even feel like it was him, that same narcissistic, arrogant and idiotic guy caring about someone else and comforting her in a late night cliffhanger. He would never let anyone know this, it could tarnish his reputation and others could make fun of him, but in moments like this when she needed him and everything around it was just him, Tiffany in his arms, the sound of the TV low and no one to bother him. He allowed himself to be someone different.
Upon hearing his question she just shook her head slightly to the side letting a grunt of denial escape her lips, which he quickly understood and then returned to silence again feeling her snuggled in his arms, that was all she wanted, just the warmth and comfort of your embrace.
— Hey, ah... do you want to watch one of those silly children's cartoons you and Meatwad like? I promise I won't make fun of you, at least this time. — He suggested trying to find a way to at least try to cheer her up, a suggestion that was accepted by her with a small smile from her, this would undoubtedly be a long but peaceful morning.
#hyperfocus#human master shake#master shake human#athf shake#aqua teen hurger force shake#aqua teen hunger force fandom#aqua teen forever#aqua teen hunger force#athf master shake#athf#my oc art#oc art#fan art#art#my art <3#my art#oc self insert#athf fanart#fanfic#one shot
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i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,
if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."
i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,
i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason
#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions#ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person#if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully#that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is#not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion#yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something#like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi'#I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad#honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner#and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion#and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully)#but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ?#im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them'#have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf#its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!'#LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333#ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious.#MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions#ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol#being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless#but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy#and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize#ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people#so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3#i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE#watch nobody read this fr#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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The fallout show isn’t NOT anticapitalist, but it’s anticapitalist in that way that a lot of recent media goes for, where it makes vague gestures towards ideas like ‘There Is Wealth Inequality, Perhaps’, or ‘maybe a few dozen people having more money than god Isn’t A Good Thing, Actually’. But ultimately it kinda just tiptoes around commenting on anything systemic by offloading the blame onto its shadowy cabal of the ultra-rich, and turning the wastelander underclass into a constant running joke that the audience is expected to laugh along at. Which like. Fine. That’s honestly more than I was expecting I guess. But bad-appling fallout feels like missing the point extra hard, given how much it absolves the US of its role in everything, up to and including literal nuclear armageddon
#fallout#fallout prime#fallout prime critical#and that’s not even touching on the weird tonal dissonance?#like. you can’t make any meaningful commentary about classism in your setting if you’re gonna turn right and around and start jeering#‘look at these stupid ignorant fucks. Isn’t it funny how stupid and ugly and mean they all are?’#‘It’s probably because they’re so poor and dirty and starving’#‘And it’s fine when the protagonist of the moment guns them down cause they’re just crazy raiders!’#you understand why those two messages can’t coexist comfortably right?#anyways I finished the fallout show and honestly? my many many may complaints aside? it wasn’t awful#it very much didnt know what it wanted to be or say#but it was fun enough#I felt appropriately pandered to in parts#and it was clearly very lovingly crafted by the people who made it#overall it would have served much better as a non-canon addition to the franchise#but at the end of the day bethesda can knock over all the sandcastles it likes#doesn’t mean I’m gonna start taking their canon seriously#also moldaver can **** me **** in the ***** ******** *** *****#who said that
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You know idk if it's just me being oblivious af but mxtx sure does enjoy putting her protags through the trolley problem when it comes to her works huh /j
#mdzs#mxtx#i say this not to be critical but because she really does prove how time and again#people want a scapegoat and an easy target to blame#and so much of her work is abt proving how faulty these philosophical absolutes are--nothing is that simple.#literally the arguments made to put everything on wwx (at least for now) appear to be faulty at best#i mean sure sometimes he puts his foot in his mouth but like ;;;;;;;; the kid is just doing his best wtf#everyone out here like WWX IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU except for lwj and i'm just like#1. hes literally like 16 yrs old or smth#2. whether or not he stepped in during the cave scene was kind of a non-question??????#the wens were so clearly going to engage in egregeious violence regardless of the rationalizations that came after#pointing fingers is legitimately pointless and fallacious logic#if mianmian wasnt targeted theres really no guarantee smth similar wouldnt have happened#furthermore working tg and refusing to play by wens' rules was p much the only feasible option#lwj was young and afraid and had lost so much but he still had enough clarity to insist on working tg#i also really love what he said abt suffering bc its just true.#the way he claps back to his uncle by saying that nobody would be spared violence and atrocity#the only choice they had was to try to band tg and mitigate the dmg--basically 'war is hell'#i find it such a stark and lovely contrast to the common perception of others abt him#that lwj stands alone and thinks of no one else; quite the contrary#he's v self-contained and v disciplined but he's not indifferent to suffering or apathetic#i think so much of the natural love that blooms between wwx and lwj is rooted in their mutual desire to do good#wwx wants to help--he loves to see people smile. he would do anything to protect the ppl he loves#lwj is honestly the same--he's just more abt structure and stability#wwx is more spontaneous and more attuned to the people around him#im a little shocked that people werent able to tell lwj was just as obsessed with him#just bc wwx is loud and mischievous about his interest doesnt really???? to me mask the ways lwj is so responsive. also i ????????#still don't understand the mental gymnastics of madame jiang insisting it was all wwx's fault when she literally targeted wen's mistress ->#in retaliation???????????????? all this 'pick your battles what the fuck is wrong with you wwx' and she goes and instigates their wrath??#i mean idk fellas i was just sitting there like 'you could have handled this so many ways and you picked the TNT option. wat.'
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