Tumgik
#i should just go to sleep. ive gotta go do field work tomorrow and im kinda stressed abt it
opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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#we r caught back in the agony spiral yall. bc ive made no progress writing today bc its been a long week and im tired#and i cant focus. but i could probably. im just being a baby abt it#i should just go to sleep. ive gotta go do field work tomorrow and im kinda stressed abt it#or i should do something fun thwt will made me less miserable but i csnt do that. theres no timd#time. so i should sleep. but sleep is a waste of time and really i shoulf b writing#but im tired and my tummy hurt :-(#i hope tomorrow doesnt take long :-((#no sample collection pls 🙏#and ive got interview stuff to prep for. like thats a month away but i gotta convince ppl i understand photosynthesis#and its been a fucking minute since biochem :-(#ugh. im trying to make better decisions in this new year. less destructive decisions bc i have to convince ppl ive got my shit together#so ill get hired and also i dont wanna b an annoying bummer to exist around#still no joy for what i do tho. like i was working with a masters student last week and she was like oh yea it was fun#and im like *awkward pained smiled* bc it wasnt as bad as i thought but doing it for 2 weeks would kinda hurt s lot#so well see how much damage it does me#no joy. only tasks to do. things to accomplish. for what? why? who the fuck cares. not me#me. without feeling: it would b interesting to see if X and Y#interesting in a i don't gave a fuck sorta way. bleh. so bitter. burnout u never recover from#at least i feel better thsn i did in December. well see how long it takes to drive me under again.#its just weird to look back at the me of before who was excited abt things. i burned thr insides out of that person#but no tonight we r making better choices. no writing happening so we do something more fun#ugh. i just wanna think abt quantum l3ap. but no. other things to do. sigh... even in my fun time im not allowed too much fun :-(#unrelated
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Them Video Games . Pt 1
A very special Non Fandom fic that i care deeply about. I wrote this a few years ago around E3 Time and ive since rewrote it and turned it into a fic with Suna. But this is the rewrite and the one i adore. Its not the full thing because its too long . So ill call this Part One for the time being. I hope you enjoy the read.
W! Nsfw ish. Mentions of body insecurities. One slur. Slight incesty vibes.
I hope you enjoy this as much as me and @squeaky-ducky do. And i hope you fall in love with Toshi like we have 💞
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It was early morning and the sun was creeping up to start the day . The sunlight made its way into a medium sized room . It was full of gaming posters. God of War, Overwatch, Tomb Raider and Final Fantasy. The room also had a large desk riddled with games and systems . Ontop sat a big screen tv with little figures in front of it. A dresser was also in the room that was full of figures and had a stack of gaming guides. An alarm was going off … for a long time.
The door to the room opened and a tall boy came in. He was tall with a small build . He was wearing a tank and some jeans . Quietly he went over to the bed to see a small girl asleep with the blanket kicked off . She was wearing Spyro panties and a video game tourney shirt .
The boy leaned down slightly shaking the girl.
“ kiki… kiki…”
Sleeping
“ MISHIKO” he shook her fast waking her up in a panic . He laughed standing up. “ time for school.”
Kiki sat up with a grumpy look on her face and the boy chuckled.
“ but Maaaax” she whined
“ cmon . Or i take the ps4 outta here”
“ nooo!!!!” She jumped outta bed hurrying to the restroom.
Kiki was in the shower trying to hurry to get ready for school, Max went downstairs checking his phone , he sighed up at the stairs when he heard the shower turn off and a door close.
Kiki hurried to get dressed . She pulled on a Playstation shirt and some shorts along with sneakers and rushed downstairs with her backpack on to see Max waiting by the door. He smiled at her and the two got in his car. Kiki was quiet during the ride, she was squeezing her pack looking out the window.
“ do I have to go..” she asked looking over.
“ yes, you do, why don't you see about joining the video game club ?” He pulled into a parking space.
“ I don't know…”
“ adam is in it you know. All you gotta do is ask Toshi to join”
She squirmed before getting out and Max got out too looking over at her.
“ i .. I don't know who that is..”
“ ah well. Uhhhh.” He came over to her side of the car and crouched down pointing to a black Mazda. A tall japanese guy got out holding a backpack that he slung over his shoulder. Max pointed at him and Kiki fell into him shaking her head fast.
“ hes .. hes..” she wiggled.
“ I promise he's nicer then he looks”
Kiki wiggled and they both heard the bell.
“ have a good day kiki” he hugged her and kiki whined when he let her go. They both went into the school but went opposite ways .
Kiki went into her math class to her seat and sat down holding her shorts , she watched more kids come in . Most didn't look at her , or talk to her. Most kids in her grade thought she was a hermit . Class started and Kiki took her book out to take notes and solve problems . She was mostly thinking about video games though. New strategies , new skins, new loot boxes.
“ Mishiko..” said the teacher
She jumped looking up to see everyone looking at her.
“ please pay attention and solve the problem…” asked the teacher. Kiki wiggled in her seat and answered the problem nervously . The teacher nodded in response.
She was right . The kids turned away and Kiki tried to relax.
Max was in class with his friend Adam . He also liked video games and enjoyed football. They sat next to each other to. The teacher instructed the class to work among themselves and Max turned to Adam.
“ i told Kiki about the club , I even showed her Toshi.”
Adam chuckled down at his books .
He was a big kid. Mostly muscle for football and athletics. “ ill ask her again but I don't know man. She seems shy, I wish she would though. No one will join cuz Toshi is so good” said Adam
Max tapped his pencil on his desk and sneaked a peak at his phone. He had a text from Gina. He grinned and elbowed his friend.
“ cover for me?” He asked and Adam agreed rolling his eyes. Max left class and went down the hall to see Gina waiting for him along with another girl . Kera.
They pulled him into the bathroom and into a stall and started to kiss him all over . Toshi was in the computer lab studying up on some game for the first bell . He did not have a first class but came in anyway to study. He leaned in to his hand watching the monitor , blowing air at it. “ almost time for E3.. “ he clicked on an article reading it about the event . He always went , he loved it . But he always went alone. He read the article and some girls came over to try to talk to him . He glanced over.
“ ohayo.” He said
The girls giggled at each other.
“ we were wondering .. if you wanted to join us for some fun?” They smirked.
“ nani?!” He was not amused
“ you know what we mean..”
“ nani?!?” Louder
The girls rolled their eyes leaving and Toshi smiled going back to his article.
The bell rang and Kiki hurried out of the classroom into the hallway. Toshi logged off and got up going to the hallway . He walked a strut almost, but a lazy strut. He was tall. And he took small steps when he walked. Never in any rush. Kiki was hurrying past all the kids down the hall when she passed him. He noticed her shirt and looked back when she passed him and raised an eyebrow then faced forward again. He shrugged his shoulders smiling and strolled into class.
Kiki made it to her class and tried her best to not be noticed. The class was english and the teacher was talking about an upcoming field trip to a museum . She handed out the paper and Kiki read it over. It was in a couple days . The class went on and one of the boys in her class looked over at her a few times. He nudged his friend and he looked up.
“ how come she never talks?” He asked
“ kiki is a video game hermet thats why”
“ yeah all she does is come to school and go straight home” said another kid.
“ I heard she's into freaky stuff too like video game characters” said a girl.
Kiki squeezed her book trying to block them out.
Max emerged from the restroom panting and zipping his pants. The girls came out and waved goodbye walking away. Max leaned on the wall panting and looking around.
“ to be fair. They asked me first” said Toshi. Who was leaning on the corner wall. Max jumped in his skin looking over the corner to see Toshi leaning on it.
“Well.. uh..” Max leaned on the wall next to Toshi.
“ ill take it i guess. Don't gotta work for it.” He said
“ you Americans are interesting. “
“ nab one Toshi you won't regret it”
“ looking for the right one.”
“ good luck” Max said rolling his eyes.
A bell rang and the two made their way to lunch. Kiki rushed out of the room and to the lunch room . Quickly she got her food and went outside to eat alone . She sat down with her back against the brick school and started to eat. Max went outside and sat down with his sister and the two ate their food. She leaned on him sighing and Max smiled down at her .
“ I have a field trip tomorrow..”
“ oh yeah?”
“ yeah just a museum.. “
“Just a museum .” He mocked chuckling and Kiki giggled pushing on her brother.
“ maybe uh.. ill ask .. friday...”
“ I think you should , it will be good for you”
Kiki wiggled around and Max pulled her up hugging her. He squeezed her tight for a minute. Kiki squeezed back whining. He stroked her hail till he realized and let go quickly.
“ c'mon ill take you to class”
Kiki nodded following her brother.
The day went on and eventually school was over. Kiki was waiting by Max’s car for him and Toshi was walking to his car with Adam. Adam waved and Kiki jumped fumbling her backpack trying to wave back. When the two got in the car Toshi looked over Adam and out his window.
“ .. whos that by Max’s car?” He asked
“ oh that's his sister Kiki. Her real names Mishiko though”
Toshi looked closer and noticed her playstation shirt.
“ she's like a huge video game nerd too” he added.
“Hmm..” he drove off.
Max hurried out of the school with some books and greeted his sister. “ sorry , I needed to get some books from my english teacher.”
Kiki smiled and got in the car and so did Max. He drove home and the two watched tv on the couch till Kiki nodded off. Max looked over and slowly moved his hand to her thigh squeezing it. He rubbed gently.
Toshi was up late playing video games and browsing leaderboards. He only had boxers on and bandages around his chest and back . His room was full of trophies and video games. His bed though took up most of the room . He sighed at the boards till he noticed a “KiKi” in the overwatch top 3. He was number one of course . But this girl was number 2., his phone buzzed and Toshi put his controller down to read it.
“ im skipping tomorrow want to come over around 9?”
Max.
Toshi replied and picked his controller back up.
Max looked at his phone and stopped rubbing his sisters thigh to roll his eyes at the text.
“ はい”
“Christ just say yes..” he rolled his eyes putting his phone down and looking at his sister.
It was the next day and Max was dropping Kiki off at school, she looked up at him and he hugged her tightly.
“ your fine. I promise” he assured her.
“ you'll be here at 6?” She asked nervous
“ 6 sharp “ he rubbed her head.
Kiki nodded getting out of the car and boarding the bus. Max drove home and saw Toshi's car already parked. He was leaning on it looking at his phone when Max pulled in.
“ no Adam?” Asked Max getting out of his car .
“ as if Adam would skip school”
The two went into the house and just laze around all day .
“ so i didint know you had a sister Max” Toshi said looking around the house.
“ oh yeah. Kiki. I thought id told you before. She's a sophomore”
“Nope.. didn't know”
Toshi got up going to the kitchen for a drink and Max scratched his lower chest feeling aroused. He sighed at himself trying to think of something. He slipped up to his room trying to fight back the urge. Toshi heard him go upstairs and put his drink down following quietly. He leaned on the wall listening to the door.
“ ughn.. kiki i miss you..” he heard and Toshi peered in but it was too dark to see. He assumed what he was doing and leaned in the doorway .
“ so do you do that all the time or just when she's not here” he smirked .
Max jumped and Toshi flipped the light on to see Max with a hand in his pants.
“ Toshi!!!! God damn it….” Max looked down and away. “Dont tell anyone…”
“ i wont. You should see our porn”
“ WHAT?”
Toshi shrugged his shoulders smiling and strolled out of the room down the hallway. “so where's her room”
Max ran after him grabbing his arm. “ you can't just walk into her room!”
“ but Adam said she's a gaming nerd i wanna see her set up”
“ whats a set up?”
Toshi rolled his eyes opening the door flicking the light on. He peered in and had a grin on his face. It was nice. Playstation and Nintendo, big tv. Stack of games .
Max closed the door and Toshi smiled going back downstairs. Max followed and felt embarrassed still.
“ how are you.. not grossed out?” He asked.
Toshi was feeling his bandages on his back trying not to scratch.
“ because You aren't hurting anything.” He looked over. “ you do you. But I do wanna meet her”
“ she's supposed to ask to join your club at school”
“ mmmm yeah?” He smirked
“ just let her join Toshi…”
“ oh it's not that easy..”
Kiki was on the bus looking out the window. The museum was okay… mostly they listened to lectures about art and sculptures. She was not very interested. The other kids did not bother with her either . She just wanted a friend…
The bus pulled up to the school and Kiki got off running to her brothers car getting in. He smiled and petted her head driving home. Kiki hurried inside and Max grabbed her pack pulling her to him.
“ i'm gonna miss the new loot boxes!!” She whined struggling and Max smiled squeezing her.
“ yeah yeah. Dinner first” he let go going to the kitchen with Kiki following.
Kiki sat down and Max brought their dinner over . They ate their food and Max looked at her a couple times when she was not looking. When they finished Kiki raced upstairs and Max slowly made his way to doing the dishes.
Kiki stayed upstairs for a couple hours playing her video games . She liked to play with all the lights off and the curtains closed. She had just finished opening her last loot box . She rubbed her eyes yawning and looking around. She was lonely . Kiki picked up her phone and looked at her contacts. Just Max and Adam.. she sighed putting it on her night stand. The clock on her tv said 10 pm . Slowly she got up and left her room to not hear the tv on and the lights were off. She knocked gently on Max’s door .
Max was in bed with some music on when Kiki knocked. He yelled for her to come in and she peaked.
“ Max.. can i hang out here… maybe..”. She quietly asked.
Max sat up looking over. He was in pj bottoms and a white shirt
“ yeah.. of course you can” he said quietly
Kiki came in holding the bottom of her shirt blushing and Max’s heart rate increased as he watched her come over. He held his arms out and Kiki hurried into them . Max laid down hugging her and he turned his lights down. The two snuggled while they talked.
“ so.. when do i ask.. to join the club” she asked holding her brothers shirt.
“ well they are there during the off periods , lunch and after school for a bit” he rubbed her back gently.
“ if i eat fast i might ask then…”
“ don't rush yourself Kiki . I can wait for you after school”
“ okay..”
Max held her tightly and let out a big sigh.
“ kiki..”
“ yes?” She looked up but it was dark so she could not see. He stroked her hair for a minute.
“ im just happy you can come talk to me…”
Kiki rolled to her stomach to lay on and hugged her brother tight.
“ me too.. I love you'' Max ``
“ i love you kiki..” he squeezed her and the two listened to music all night.
It was morning and Max was shaking Kiki to wake her up . She whined rolling off of Max and hugging his arm. He sighed watching her and reached over to rub her butt gently.
“ cmon wake up. You can sleep in tomorrow” he said
Kiki whined opening her eyes and sitting up.
“ what are you gonna do today?” He asked trying not to look at her thighs.
“ ask.. about the club..”
“ yes you are” he pet her head smiling and Kiki slid over him and went to the shower. Max waited till he heard the shower and slipped his hand in his pjs groaning.
Once everyone was ready the two went to school. Kiki was a nervous wreck the whole day. Would Toshi let her join? She was so paranoid that she did not hear the other kids in her classes talking about her.
The final bell rang and Kiki hurried out of her class and to the upper classes hallway. Her legs hurt since she was on the bottom floor. She peeked into the hallway to see Juniors and Seniors making their way to the stairs. She jumped when some of them said hello and complimented her gamer shirt. She spotted Max and ran over and he hugged her smiling.
“ just go down the hall, last door on the left Kiki”
She nodded fast still hugging and some of the seniors chuckled as they passed.
“ cmon you can do it” he slowly peeled her off of him.
“ ill be at the car” he petted her head and followed some of his friends.
Kiki held her shirt looking around the now empty hall and closed doors . Slowly she walked down the hall to the only open door. It said Computer Lab on the wall . She could hear talking and button mashing along with some music.
Kiki peaked in to see Toshi and Adam playing a game on a computer . She tried to sneak in but she bumped a nearby chair making it squeak. She jumped hugging the wall and the boys looked over. Adam jumped up and hugged her.
“HEY KIKI!!!” He squeezed making her whine and try to get loose. “ are you gonna join finally?!?”
“ augh let go!!! Adaaaam!!!” She whined till he let go .
Kiki held her chest looking at Toshi . He was… she slumped into the wall and Toshi smirked going over and leaning down till he was eye level .
“ you must be Mishiko…”
Her heart jumped. No one ever called her real name..
“ yes i.. I wanted to.. join” she said quietly
He smiled looking over over. Now he knew why Max liked her so much. She was cute and tiny.
Toshi held a controller in front of her face.
“ beat me in Overwatch and you can join. Three outta three”
Kiki grabbed the controller grinning . Toshi smiled at her standing back up and the two went to sit down in front of the computer. Toshi leaned back in his sit looking over at her. She didn't look nervous in the slightest . She had on a Ubisoft shirt and blue shorts with sneakers and thigh highs. He smiled at the thigh highs and Adam let them know it was starting soon.
A half hour later Toshi’s controller was in half and on the floor. The screen said “WINNER. KIKI & JUNKRAT” the chalkboard had three tallys on it for Kiki. Toshi was very … very silent. Kiki was shaking and looking at Adam but he looked just as surprised as her. The sound the controller made made her jump and look over at Toshi. He was huffing heavily, the bandages on his arm looked like they were being strained from his fist . Kiki slowly set the controller down and slowly got up. She should leave… he's angry… this was a bad idea…
Toshi whipped out of his seat in front of Kiki putting his hands on her shoulders sitting her back down.
“ …...how……” he ordered.
“Wah!!!” She jumped hiding being her hands. “ I WATCH A LOT OF STRATEGY STUFF IM SORRY. “ she whined through her hands. “ I can replace the controller…!!!!”
Adam was about to intervene but Toshi stood up and looked at him in disbelief. Adam nodded very fast. They both looked down at Kiki . She was hiding behind her hands with her knees touching.
Toshi stretched smiling.
“ ahhh…. baka… you can join” he chuckled
Kiki peaked through her hands up at the boy.
“ but to repay me your gonna come over tomorrow.” He smiled down at her and Kiki nodded fast and left in a flash
It was just Toshi and Adam in the computer lab. Toshi slowly picked up his broken controller and Adam quietly packed up the system. Toshi squeezed the controller again making Adam look over.
“ uh ..Toshi..” Adam said quietly.
“Well well well….” he threw his pack over his shoulder walking out of the room . His steps were heavy down the hall and down the stairs. He was on his way to the last floor when he stopped to look out the window. Kiki was running to Max’s car . He grinned and kept walking .
The car ride was quiet , she must of beat Toshi .
“ sooo.. what game was it?”
“ Overwatch…”
Max nearly missed the light .
“ you beat Toshi in Overwatch?!?”
“ yes!! He broke his controller and … told me to come over tomorrow”
Max pulled up to the house not saying anything. Kiki got out running inside and Max dialed Toshi
Toshi was already home and looking at the broken controller in his hand when his phone rang.
“ ohayo” he said
“ so what exactly do you plan to do with my sister tomorrow?”
Toshi made his way to his room to lie down. He ginned looking up at his ceiling.
“Friendly gaming Max. I'd never hurt your little sister”
“I swear Toshi if you try anything”
“Nani?!?”
“I mean it !”
“Uh huh.” He hung up smirking.
It was the morning of the next day and Kiki was still asleep. Max was awake in bed, he did not sleep much, he was caught up on his sister going to Toshi’s house. He trusted Toshi, he wouldn't try anything. Right?..
Max’s phone buzzed , he rubbed his face lifting his phone up to look at the text.
“She can come over whenever. I'm awake.” -Toshi
“Don't try anything.” -Max
“🤷🏻” -Toshi
Max groaned putting his phone down hugging his pillow. He heard Kiki after a while going down the stairs and the door opening.
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