#i really wanna finish this on time but now i dont know if i will ToT | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chrolloluvr · 3 days

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Hi, happy to see you back❤. I remember in one of your previous works, you mentioned Mammon possibly would babytrap reader. May you please write something on this topic?

♡ Toxic!Mammon: Babytrapping Hcs ♡

Note: Ty! Also she is referring to this post. THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REQUESTS!!! KEEP THEM COMING POOKIES! ALSO IK I HAVENT MADE AN ACTUAL POST IN A WHILE SO HERE YALL GO

Female!reader, AFAB

Warnings: NSFW, toxic themes, creampie, future child, exploiting

He will babytrap you, 100%

As I have said before, Mammon likes the idea of having complete control over you, your life, and everything you do. And what better of a way to do that than making you bear his child?

He gets this magical, invasive idea when talking to one of his work buddies. He was talking about how annoying you were, even though he cannot live without you, when his co-worker mentions how much responsibility and care a woman has for her children. And the idea hits him. If you are just going to sit around lazily all day like a spoiled brat, why not add a child into the mix?

So he will have you prowled up against his chest, his cock basically stuffing you full, as he pistons in and out of your already sore pussy. Seemingly out of nowhere, telling you

"You'd be such a good mother, wouldn't you babe."

"'Wanna see you swoll with my kids, wouldn't that be somethin'-"

Which makes you feel physically ill. Raising a child with Mamm would be basically impossible. You would never raise a child with this man. Would he support you? Would he genuinley care for your baby? Oh Satan, would he even care-

Your thoughts are abrupted as Mammon stuffs you with his seed, finishing inside yours walls and painting them with a loud groan. He gives your ass a harsh slap, as he watches his cum spilling out of you. He looks you in the eyes, and gives you a daunty chuckle. He forces you to look up at him with your tired, exhausted eyes, as he tells you ohoho babe, we aren't finished until i'm done, alright?.

And he keeps that promise, with the goal of getting you pregnant. He knows the public would go feral. The King of Greed? With a child? It gives him a publicity boost, which in turn, is good for his business, and his image.

Once you find out you are pregnant, you have to eventually tell Mammon, to your dismay. Every day, he makes you take an on brand pregnancy test as he watches. He will hold the test while you pee. Yes you heard me right. So when the test says positive one day, he is over the moon. Not at the fact that he is going to be a father, but at the fact that he is now in complete control over you, and that he can use another part of you as a pawn in his twisted fantasy.

The paparazzi have a field day over this news, because he ends up almost immediately making an announcement. There are headlines, candid photos of you going forcefully outside by mammon, etc. Its like a never ending nightmare. And dont be mistaken, he would never let you out of his sights, or get an abortion. He thinks this is too good of an opportunity.

Behind closed doors, he will actually treat you very well. Feeding you, paying attention to your every need, and not letting you lift a finger. He may even go out of his way to find some stuff by himself at the store. He'll will make you go outside with him. But at times he has to do a meeting, or host an event, he will have his goons escort you places, making sure you go public routes, to get a really good look at your swollen belly.

Brings you to meetings during this time, and picking your outfits carefully. He cant have his darling wearing any disgusting maternity clothes. So he will have you perches on his lap while he sits in his seat, embarrassment eating you whole as you see the sins/overlords snickering and bickering presumably at you. He has one hand rubbing your round belly, and one hand rubbing your shoulders as Mammon discusses his newest buisness plan.

He would create a Mammon Baby Care line. He knows he will profit off your pregnancy

"Alright fellas, so i was thinking for the ladys, a Mammon breast pump, hm? Its great right? Oh! And Mammon themed bibs, ha! Sure to make me a bunch, right babes?"

People think, how could you let Mammon knock you up? Of course, millions of girls idolize Mammon, and would want to be with him. But sometimes it feels like you are the only one who is infatuated with him. So you will try to look past the fact that he got you pregnant. You'll just try to be hopeful. But it is literally impossible with the way he keeps sweet talking you, as you snap back into the sad reality that you will be having Mammons child, and raising it. No questions to be asked.

He will lead you to subconsciously feel insecure about you and your body. He will squeeze your newly chubby cheeks, glaze his fingers over your stretch marks newly littering your body, etc. And he definitely does that on purpose.

As you reach up to the half full Nutella jar in the high cabinet in the kitchen, you hear a pair of loud footsteps coming behind you. Its Mammon. You try your best to ignore him, but you cant help but feel uneasy when you feel a pair of familiar eyes on you. It is currently 1:30 AM, and he is in a really tired mood.

"You need help sweets?"

He said with a suckle voice, knowing its affects on you are vast. He looks you up and down, admiring your perfect body in his mind. Your curves, belly, and the look your giving him. It makes him want to just bend you over and fuck your brains out likes theres no tomorrow. But he cant, he just has to be extra agile with you.

"Mamm..."

"Yeah?"

"Do I look fat?"

Ohhh boy. The question you always ask when you feel like he's eyeing you up. he hates when you ask that, because then he has to make up some half assed excuse to why he's looking at you a certain way. When your pregnant, he basically has to walk on eggshells around you.

"You... look like your carrying my child, and I like the sight of that."

"Okay, do you love me?"

He pauses. One wrong answer, and you'll refuse to talk to him for weeks. You two, as of your relationship, are in a really good spot right now. You will basically do anything for him. But you are really sensitive emotionally and physically, due to your hormones.

As he walks up behind you, he lifts you up by your waist, and hold you up to the cabinet, letting you reach.

"Y/N."

He says in a low, gruff voice.

"Yeah Mamm?"

"What the hell kind of question is that. Of course I love you."

He says as you look at him, face to face. You watch his eyes never leave yours, which makes you break off eye contact in a flustered state. You then realize that he is holding you, which makes you feel insecure.

"Okay, I love you too Mamm"

"Alright, now get your sweet treat, and get the fuck to bed, and hurry up. We've got a busy day tomorrow sweets."

He sets you down, and leaves the kitchen, leaving you with yourself, your Nutella and a spoon in hand. You look down at yourself, and your huge stomach. You wonder how you got yourself into this twisted predicament. You mostly worry about your baby's future as Mammons child. Because you are aware that Mammon will only use them for his own monetary gain. You cannot escape this man, even if you try. But you can always pretend you have your own free will, and you could always just eat your silly thoughts away, as Mammon always told you.

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sphaxcca · 3 days

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My Candy Love New Gen Ep. 3 Review

Okaaaaaay so since this is my first post on here: Hi there! guess who's gonna give her unasked opinion about her Playthrough of My Candy Love New Gen? ME! ofc.

LET'S TALK ABOUT IT...

So i've finished playing the episode and honestly i'm starting to wonder how the plot is gonna develop during the story.

Until now ce can't really say that the story is growing but, I mean, it's completely fine because these are the first episode so it's pretty normal that there's basically nothing but just a presentation of the character and a little peak of their routes.

The episode was pretty chill and cute for some point of view, but my only doubt is about the speed of the storytelling, i really hope that with new episode the story's gonna grow in speed or in lenght of episodes because, for how is it now, it's gonna take forever to make a real "change" in the plot (especially for Jason's route candies like me) The idea of the welcome party was EXTREMELY cute also the "preparation" part was okay;

Amanda not partecipating at the party because Candy didn't choose the park had me turn up my nose honestly, but by the way she reacted the all time, i could have guessed it. She gives me a little bit of snooty vibes but i guess it's just the shell of the character.

ELENDA. oh my ELENDA. I hope with my whole heart that she's gonna be the new Rosalya because i need it. I genueine need a ray of sunshine like her in my candy's life when she's gonna sleep with the rival agency's boss :PPPPPP (The truth or dare part XD had me DEAD, i mean come on guys, you're almost 30 and you need a TRUTH or DARE game to break the ice? LMAO. )

NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT THE CHARACTERS.

ROY. Can someone explain to me? Please don't tell me that the dare that he should have done was to kiss Candy and, because is dating Brune, he turned candy's head to kiss her on the check. Please don't tell me or imma GASP. At first i thought he was going to be the gym bro not interested in any dating or in date many girls at the same time, BUT THIS. BRUH unexpected. So i guess Candy in thi s case have to be Eric 2.0 of new gen. Love it. Let's sleep with another taken man!

DEVON. So I Honestly don't know what to say about him for now because i can't really say what's gonna be the issue with him. I Just really hope is not gonna be like Hyun route ( a full of nothing) because the character seems really cute, so please beemoov give us some tea or a plot twist. Something that happened in the episode that made me actually turn my head the screen was Candy saying (if you go to him at the Mall) "It seems that he doesn't want to be the Ceo" Maybe this is going to be the route?

THOMAS. I honestly love him and i feel like his entire route is gonna be Candy tries to make him understand what is to date someone. I also have a feeling (which would make totally sense) that Thomas is either authistic or he's part of that percentual of the populations that has an IQ higher that the others. L O V E I T TBH and it's a shame that i hvae to play two time the episodes because the outfit it's not the same for jason's route.

AMANDA Snooty on the outside but a marshmallow on the inside, i'm so sure of this. My guess here is that, girl's rich ass didn't say anything to her family that she likes girls. I just really hope is not the sme thing that happened with Priya because players dont wanna play things two times.

JASON. At last but not least, the enemies to lovers we didn't know we needed. what can I say? I have a huge love for Men who are so incure of themselfs that they put up this gigantic EGO (and not Confidence) to try to hide their real self. This going to be and Astarion (Bg3) route 2.0, I'M HERE FOR IT. Btw i'm pretty sure he seduced Danica to make her leave Devenementiel, this B, love him. At least he's not taken Candies....

what do you think? <3

-Sph

#corazón de melón #my candy love new gen #my candy love #amour sucre #mcl new gen #cdm new gen #mcl jason #mcl roy #mcl amanda #mcl thomas #mcl devon #cdm castiel #amor doce #amor doce new gen #beemoov

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phant0municorn · 10 months

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goodbaye 2 dinobot(uninspired) haelooo lucifer<3

#beast wars #transformers #dinoprimal #optimus primal #dinobot #doop #im gonna dump about this au since like excluding the 1-3 and last 2 images like alot of this is almost from like a year ago by now so uh #if ur a FRIEND who has NOT finished beast wars do NOT read im literally gonna ruin some shit 4 u DONT do it. i SWEAR. ok ily bye #maximals and predacons crash land on earth yadda yadda except its 10 times worse they crash land on the wrong time where most of humanity #has already evolved lets say they crash land around 15-16 century or so. idk yet exactly maybe we may never know just know au is gothic #mostly kinda yeah u see op hes a bat and shit but when he was scanning a lifeform while being barely alive because wehn they crashed both #sides almost went up in flames literally and when op was scanning a lifeform he did scan a bat but it was full of parasites and he ended #up scanning those as well. hes like yeah hes a vampire but like not an actual one but just as scary since energon isnt as abundant as time #goes on on earth and its scarce op needs more of it or else he goes feral he has 2 eat the protoforms kinda. lucifer doesnt defect immediat #ely uhh idk if i might make this like a visual novel or something one day if i have the time or energy after a project im alredy working on #well see ok thanks bye #i also wanted 2 redesign db because it always kinda bothered me how like its just him in some western get up. i wanna commit more 2 it and #now hes a diamondback rattle snake(not sure if i want 2 specify eastern or western idk if it matters really) and op kinda like has more of #flea mouth but rins mouth is canon 2 they can coexist<3 ok now byebye #oops made it up on the spot last minute i hate doing refs but the top of lucifers head is his snake skull #i keep forgetting sm shit but also why do they fight whats the point. in the crash both golden discs were destroyed. theyre pissed off as #hell if im going down im taking u with me

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liquidstar · 2 months

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a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

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harvestmoth · 6 months

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ergrg rh h. rejuv….

#game good game great #favorite game of all time for me i think #anyways take these scribbles i dont really feel like finishing rn #im at chapter 14 now and man. man…#what did she mean by that. what is happening.#i mean i know whats happening but. what is happening #talking about what happened in angies whatever btw im still not over that #this game is so..#the sprite updates are everything to me btw. there is so much personality on those itty bitty faces #the chapter titles too.. why would they do that. chapter 12.. ow #so many things added.. love all the changes a lot #the new art pieces too… so so good #i wanna replay it so bad already and im not even done with this one yet #sorry this game got to me again and it got to me bad #pokemon rejuvenation #also ignore the seviper i wasnt looking at a reference for that guy and i dont really feel like fixing it

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orcelito · 3 months

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I think I cried harder today over my dad's jackets than I did at his deathbed. That was a miserable time of course, a memory that will likely be seared into my brain until I die, but I cried... I think a normal amount, all things considered. More than I ever usually do of course, but I typically don't cry At All. All this free crying is certainly surreal.

The jackets, though. I was put in charge of doing his laundry, because we don't want to pack up dirty clothes. I was expecting it to be unpleasant bc my dad's dirty clothes - gross. But really, it was much more unpleasant in that... those were his. It felt wrong to touch them. Felt wrong to treat his jackets as gross. Because they were just his jackets. They weren't even in the hamper. And then I was remembering him wearing them, and then I was crying. Again. And again. Weeping over these damn jackets.

Then I found a shirt on his bed that still smelled like him. It smelled like a Hug From Dad. And that set me off crying even harder.

In total, I think I cried like 6 times within 40 minutes. It took me that long to finish sorting the damn clothes bc I just. Was a wreck. Like, what are you supposed to do when you're living life like normal, vaguely hopeful bc you're taking steps to secure your own happiness, and then 4 days later you're sorting your dad's laundry because he fucking died. Suddenly. Without a goodbye.

And you have to worry about his lack of a will (even under an ideal situation, only 2 heirs and no conflicts between us, probate's a fucking Bitch), and arranging the funeral, and prepping his obituary, and picking out pictures, and writing a speech bc you want to talk at his funeral, of Course you want to talk at his funeral, but even just thinking about anecdotes you could share has you crying yet again.

I've cried more times in the past 3 days than likely the entirety of last YEAR. And that's WITH my cat, and uncle, and family friend dying. Those all hurt, my uncle most of all, & I was real fucked up over it. But this? This was my Dad. Likely the person I'd have named 2nd closest to me in my life, second only to my sister. He wasn't perfect, but he did so much for me throughout my entire life. All he wanted was to raise us to be happy and independent. And he accomplished it, we're getting by without him, but we still wanted several more decades with him. He was only 57. We should've gotten several more decades with him.

But here we are now. Playing investigators to his life, digging into all his shit, trying to find documents and take inventory of all his things, and learning Many things about him in the process. In his lockbox of sensitive documents, like his SSN and birth certificate and all that stuff, we found an old letter. About a decade old now, written in my hand. Right at the very top, we found that he'd kept the letter I wrote to him telling him frankly about my struggles and the things I wanted him to do better. He kept it. He tried to take it to heart. He looked at it again, sometime more recently than all the rest of the documents. That was on top.

His love for us is evident everywhere. The pictures he has hanging up all over the place, majority of them with us in them. The old fathers day cards placed on display in his bedroom bookshelf. The gifts we gave him, even stupid little knick knacks, placed around his apartment with pride. I wish we'd taken more videos of him. I don't want to forget the sound of his voice. I don't want to forget his smell either, the smell of a Hug From Dad, but I still tossed that shirt into the wash even though it felt like saying yet another goodbye.

It's the suddenness that hurts the most, I think. We were planning on having him help me finally get my license this year. My final words to him, the last thing he would've seen from me, were messages asking up on whether he'd called his car insurance company to make sure there wouldn't be problems. I should've called him more. I don't know if I'm going to learn from this.

I cut my 2 weeks off early to have time to grieve and to work on things for the funeral and settling the estate. The last thing I'd wanna do right now is selling fucking bubble tea in a job I already decided to leave. So here I am without a job, though with potentially two life insurance policy payouts to come. Inheriting half his 401k. Inheriting couches, knickknacks, keepsakes, paintings, art pieces, maybe even his guitar and other furniture if we can figure out what to do about space (I don't have room for this furniture, I don't know if I even have room for the couches, but God do I want to keep so much of this furniture). It has me even considering keeping one of his guns, just one. A tiny little revolver, it sits so comfortably in my hand. I don't even want to use it for anything. I just want to have it, keep it stored in a drawer with its ammo kept separate. I don't like guns, but this is a part of him. He loved collecting guns. He was about as responsible with them as someone can be, keeping them locked in a lockbox and impressing upon his children the importance of gun safety (I've known the basic gun safety rules ever since I was a little kid. Of course, of course, of course.) It reminds me of him. It's horrifically easy to have a gun in Indiana. I apparently don't even need a permit to carry anymore. (I have no intention to ever carry this in public.)

It's all a cycle. Business, grief, thoughts about my future. Round and round, like the most nauseating carousel in existence. I don't know how I'm still so functional. My skills with compartmentalization have been my lifesaver.

And im just thinking about the story my dad's best friend shared today. About a friend of theirs who lost her father. She reached out after hearing about my dad to share his words with her: "it's okay to grieve, but don't make his death your life".

He explicitly referenced himself in this, saying if he were to die suddenly that he wouldn't want us to define ourselves by it. Grief is expected, but he wants us to be able to move on. He's always wanted us to establish ourselves and make ourselves happy. He wouldn't want to be a weight holding us back from that.

So every time I start to feel guilty for thinking about having nicer furniture or using his life insurance payout to fund the rest of my college, I remind myself of that. Thinking about the material isn't a bad thing. I'm only human. And in the end, he'd Want me to be thinking about it. He never intended to die, certainly not without warning like this, so he would've only encouraged me being pragmatic about it all.

He only ever wanted us to be happy. So I need to do what I can to live up to that.

I love him. I miss him already.

#speculation nation #negative/#this got really long on accident. but i think typing this out was really helpful for me.#getting the thoughts out. processing. the works.#nearly cried several times just from writing this.#...and honestly i might reference this again when i start seriously writing my eulogy.#things suck a Lot right now. and i really wish they were different.#feels like i picked a bad choice in a video game and am now seeing the Bad Ending or whatever #all i need to do is reload a previous save. it's all still there. perfectly preserved in my memories.#but... that's all gone. as suddenly and unfair as it is ive been thrust into a new chapter of my life so thoroughly.#it's not all bad though. he wasnt prepared for dying so it's been hell to prepare for him #we dont know if we'll even be able to get into his fucking iphone. stupid piece of shit.#but he had life insurance. he had a union job. and That comes with benefits #(something about a year's salary going to the family. aka half a year's salary to Me. and isnt That mind boggling.)#as much as it hurts im going to be realistic about it. im going to do what i need to finish my education.#and im going to use it as a springboard for finally becoming a 'proper adult'.#the kind who could own a nice kitchen fridge. one with an ice machine on the front of the door #and freezers in the drawers.#maybe then i could think about getting motorcyle lessons. not from my dad as i originally wanted #but i wanna keep the family biker spirit alive. i wanted it even before he died. and now i want it even more.#ive had so so many thoughts. it's only been 3 days. ive had to emotionally numb myself several times just to Get Through It.#everything is exacerbated. my mom wants to go to the funeral. we will have to fight her on this. my dad Hated her.#and i certainly dont fucking want her around either. not then. not when im talking about my dad.#(my dad. my Dad. i saw him die. i felt him cold. i do not regret it. it still hurts me.)#it's overwhelming. i loved him so fucking much. even with his flaws he was truly an amazing father.#i'll... shut up now. if you read this far. well. hug your loved ones a little tighter. you never know when youll lose them.

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dhmis-autism · 9 months

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SORRY. JUST REALIZED I ORIGINALLY SKETCHED THE STUFF FROM THAT LAST WIP POST IN. MARCH.

GODDDD...

#I GUESS MY WRIST FUCKING UP PUT ME FURTHER BACK THAN I THOUGHT #but also like. i was JUST talking about it in chat. i have a comic about the Three Of Them that i wrote in a frenzy in FEBUARY.#by the time i rewrote the dialogue and figured out the ending it was SEVEN FUCKING PAGES. SOLID.#OF JUST SCRIPT.#I STILL HAVENT EVEN FINISHED SKETCHING IT. YOU GUYS ARE NOT SEEING THAT SHIT UNTIL 2024 #sometimes an idea of them will grasp me and i will just write the script out in the middle of the night #I realistically. dont even know if you guys are gonna like my scripted stuff.#the first scripted thing i wrote was a yellow&duck comic that im STILL SKETCHING BACKGROUNDS ON #i could be really bad at writing for them. i could totally not get them at all.#but hey!#we'll see when we see I guess #BUT YEAH UH. SORRY FOR LITERALLY ALL I POST BEING WIPS NOWADAYS I AM JUST WORKING ON LIKE 5 DIFFERENT DRAWINGS AT ONCE #STILL TRYING TO GET MY SPRING STUFF DONE. AND ITS ALMOST FALL. SO :]#I JUST CARE SO MUCH ABT THOSE PUPPETS DAWG I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS FOR THEM #I HAVE!!! EVEN MORE DRAWINGS THAT I JUST HAVENT SHARED!!! bc i either made them for something real specific in the discord #or bc theyre phone doodles and i dont think theyre that great. or bc i made them just for a friend and thats like. theirs now kjdhkjdfhs #a lotta times once i finish drawing smth for a friend ill just never post it bft. so its just like. for that one thing and nothing else #ANYWAYS HAPPY 3 AM IM FORCING MYSELF TO GO TO BED #AND I STILL HAVE THE ANIMATIONS #AND THE FANART FOR LIKE 5 FICS I WANNA DO #OHHH GOD CMONNN BRO IM NEVER FINISHING ANYTHING #my postings

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b4kuch1n · 2 years

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I put the october pieces on my redbubble as prints because I think they’re preddy good. happy august are you gonna eat that

#bakuspecial #pokemon #swsh #hi. I am painting my bag #and the sealant turns out to be poison #so its taking! a minute! I'm trying to put as much down in one layer as possible before sealant #because boy oh boy. that sealant is bad. and I also only have one can of it #so yeah. the bg for the thing I wanna do is done I think. I just gotta finish up the (waves hand) the other stuff. yknow the main thing #so! thats my sunday plan. and then hopefully I can finish that up in one go and then seal it in for the last time #and I will not have to breath whatever that is in again. Im suited up btw. I dont have a filtration mask but Im triple med masked up #whenever I use it. and I also wear a long sleeved hoodie jacket #messing around with acrylic and gouache is so fun if not for the consequences #well. thats enough of that. hey if u want a print of these pieces get urself a halloween treat.#my halloween treat this year is hopefully I can hang out with my friends and play funny horror games. itll be so fun #or we all play scrabbles together again and I get my ass handed to me #I know english words sometimes but I am SO bad at counting. I am GARBAGE at understanding the rules of scrabbles.#its so fun to lose at scrabbles tho... I enjoy it :]#I need to sleep now. but I had naan with chicken pumpkin stew today. it was really good. today was great #have a good night guys! hold ur friends hand while walking in the wood okay?

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keniaku · 5 months

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i didn't get enough time to make gojo's birthday art this year, i think i'll just make something qui-

[id: a screenshot of a csp layer folder titled "pg7" /end id]

aw fuck

#txt #please for the love of god help me #i really wanna finish this on time but now i dont know if i will ToT

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emsloe · 5 months

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It’s hard to justify spending money on, and it’s a little embarrassing even if it’s fun, but I’m kinda tempted to make an art book of digital art I’ve done. It’d be almost half wizard101 fanart, and a lot of oc stuff. One thing I kinda miss about doing less traditional these days is not really having sketchbooks to flip through. In general if I’m gonna spend money on an art book I’d rather it be someone else’s art book… I have a few because I do enjoy splurging on one every once in a while when I can afford it. but it would scratch some kinda itch to have one of my own too. Somewhere (not sure where I put it) I have one of photography I did, since it was required as a final project for one of my photography classes. But it’d be nice to have one of drawings, since that’s my main thing. Idk

#surge talks #i mean I have slightly more money after top surgery than I expected. assuming my healing time doesnt get suddenly prolonged and I dont get #randomly laid off or something. but i’ve been healing well so far other than my janky nipple #and now that my lifelong burden of saving for top surgery is over I almost feel like I can use my money for more fun stuff if i want #idk i’m still debating. maybe. idk. idk #I really wanna finish my dream journal project and print a copy for myself too #and my novel wip #it’d be so satisfying to have a small shelf of things I made in print you know?#god i might just do it

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the-kipsabian · 3 months

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i do really miss writing immortal fears tho

#theres just. a lot of things that mentally prevent me from going back to it right now #which i know is okay. its a three arc long ass multiparter its okay if it takes time and whatever #but like. yeah #i have a stupid mental block about continuing it. i dont want to throw it out cause i love the story and everything i have planned for it #but its just. hard. and then i see the extremely low numbers on the single bits i post within the au and its like. oh. :')#i dont know. i know i love this and i wanna do it but the hurdles feel so big and it sucks cause its been like a year since i started it #and its only five chapters in. and it just sucks cause i want to work on it and finish it and hope people like it as much as i do #which i know they wont cause again its niche and my work so like...#mental hurdles #i just wish i could be happy with this stuff. i mean i am. but also im not. i dont know #im not in a really good headspace today again and its bleeding over and everything sucks :')#night is an absolute mess on main

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hiddenbeks · 4 months

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should i. study french. or go home and watch atonement

#el.txt #i have a french exam this week and i skipped several classes during the course bc they were so early in the morning #i just couldnt do it. so staying at campus to study would be the smart move bc i dont remember Shit #but i just got an email that the atonement dvd is now available at my local library..#never seen it before. even tho i know its like probably one of those films that everyone should see #but i saw a gifset of the fountain scene a couple days ago n was like. ok hm i really need to watch this (with bisexual intent)#feel like an uncultured fraud as a media studies major sometimes when there r so many like... iconic & classic movies i havent seen #and Yes movies aren't the only media that exists and i can be a media studies major who specializes in something else #and Yes one can also argue that there is no such thing as a definitive list of 'films/shows/books everyone should watch/read'#but still. i wanna watch more films. to broaden my knowledge on films. and because watching films is nice #also fun fact i'd never seen mean girls in its entirety before yesterday.#i remember seeing maybe half of it on tv when i was a kid #but my parents wanted to watch the news or sth so they switched the channel #then some time later i saw it was on tv again n was like 'oh hey i never saw this fully'#n one of my parents was like 'yea i sure hope so its a stupid movie' and changed the channel to watch the news probably #then i just forgot abt it until i finally watched it from start to finish yesterday with no one to interrupt me!!

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carcarrot · 7 months

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alright we're okay. it's all going to work out and happen. ive got my short film idea. i just have to make it absolutely perfect and then we're good to go

#my short film idea is a kinda sorta prequel kinda. to my Big Main Film Idea #essentially its just a little bit of silly backstory to a character that gets no backstory in the feature film #and this character is making a short film. and im playing the character. so im making a short film abt someone making a short film.#when i was first writing my Main Film Idea i was like ok yeah this character that im thinking of playing is obviously based on and like me #but as time went on i was like ah fuck. theres parts of me in every damn character #the good news is that this short film idea should be relatively cheap to make. im thinking of having only one filming location #and i could get a deal filming there bc i used to work there (my old cafe) so renting out the space might be cheaper #im not sure yet abt cameras. im thinking abt emailing my old film teacher and being like. hey. would you wanna help me make my film #i think he has some film cameras himself or if not he knows a lot of film people #but since this is essentially a one man (its me im the man) show i dont really need other actors. but im working on that #another problem of potentially many is that if and when this gets done. now what #ive got zero clue abt where to like. send my short film to be shown or whatever but maybe my film teacher could help w that!#before i do any of this i am going to finally finish that filmmaking course i bought. and then see where we go from there #but this still needs a lot of writing bc i havent done any screenplay work for this yet #and thus obviously havent storyboarded anything #i gotta get Organized <- least organized person on this earth #wish me luck that this will lead me on the path to my dream movie. we can all hope

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solcarow · 9 months

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#ack …… it’s way too obvious that i felt like drawing this piece was a chore ………..#hhhnghgh not much i could do about it now bc i dont have much time left to finish it o(~<#solar-talks #kinda disappointed bc i really wanted to do this and i like my idea a lot .. i guess it’s just hard for me to actually draw something when #i Have to draw something yk #its just frustrating that i Know what’s wrong and i Know how to fix it but i can’t start back from scratch bc again it’s . due soon #urrrghgh.. welp ! it’s fine ! i’m glad i joined and did this in the first place !#it may be ugly right now but it won’t when i try redrawing it at some point 💥💥💥💥💥#and i wanna finish this piece as soon as possible so i could finally draw other shit #postepilogue yhk transgenderisms im coming for u …………….

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crest-of-gautier · 9 months

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made an eeny bit of progress in pq today... im like maybe 80% through the 3rd floor of you in wonderland and currently level 11...!

#pq #lizz.jpg #lizz.txt #i love how i say 'eeny' as if i did not play for like four hours. LOL.. i think i wanna play in smaller chunks next time #yall... i have so much fear of those gosh darn card soldiers... i dont want to know what my life is going to be like if they give f.o.e.s-#more gimmicks... THEY ARENT BAD I JUST. I REALLY DONT LIKE THE F.O.E. STARING AT ME #my (ougouoguough) of the f.o.e.s is so real that if i have energy i would totally make a doodle about it #dont really have much interesting things 2 report... i think next play session ill probably end up finishing the labryinth #it seems pretty close to done tbh esp since i stopped b4 the room with the three fucking f.o.e.s and im like #'i do not have the mental energy to figure out how to do this' (they say and proceed to write a text wall)#and im guessing we'll get to see the investigation team after finishing the labryinth?#the games being like REALLY silly right now but im like. squinting so hard at zen and rei you have NO idea how sus these guys are to me #not to go against my 'im not intelligent on this blog' policy but theres something about a thing that elizabeth said early on thats like #alerting the lizz sus radars. she said something like you wouldnt find living humans here and that they might theoretically be an entity-#that merged w/personas and shadows AND TO ME THIS IS A HGUE RED FLAG???#LIKE.... me just looking at how RYOJI fucking mochizuki is a thing and im like “ah i see now why they set it before ryoji” BECAUSE !!! AAA #because at this point sees wouldn't have met an entity like ryoji who is fucking shadow that is humanized by minato so uh like #if they met ryoji and were past dec 2 AND THEN PQ'D IT UP then they'd look at zen and rei in addition to what elizabeth said #then IDK WHAT IM SAYING BUT LIKE ZEN AND REI HAVE TO BE SOME KINDA ENTITY AND I DONT KNOW WHAT #for shits and giggles ill say death bc i like death as a thematic thing LMAOOO im a really delulu little guy rn dont talk to me #um. im being really normal right now yeah uh this should've gone under a read more oops ill do that next time #for my own sanity i will NOT go into what thoughts are brewing in my head (hypothezing what time the p4 cast was pulled from-#BUT ALSO THE WAY TEDDIE ALSO falls into elizabeth's description UGH screams into. a bucket.)#anyway for. something. thats not me spitballing i hope that i can see yosuke soon.. i want him in my party!!!!#i rlly like the game mechanics and while zen and rei have been great 2 start with they cant equip subpersonas... ough #ok thats. thats all. i did not expect to text ramble but (THIS IS ME WE ARE TALKING ABOUT i cannot shut up)#im having fun though!!!! its been nice to play smthn else for once LMAO i wonder how much ill get through b4 the month ends

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bugdogg · 9 months

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if i ever seem brave for some of the stuff i admit on here, just know its cause idk how to keep shit to myself. i cower at the thought of judgement and then proceed to expose my whole ass to tumblr anyway, because i dont have a working filter

#tags are filled with worried rambling again #i hear a laugh track play whenever my anxiety flares up #im scared of what other people think of me which in itself is funny #ik others opinions of me arent an indicator of me being a bad person #other people arent gonna kno my whole personality from the stuff i draw #i fear judgement despite experiencing nothing but positive feedback on this site because i keep reading into the small things as negative #i know all this and still wither away in my shell knowing all this im saying is what id tell others if they were suffering with it #i walk in this circle and do it thousand times til i pass out from the exhaustion and later wonder y i was worried in the first place #i want to be able to say “who cares they dont know you” but ive been raised by people who spent almost every conversation-#with me basically saying they know me very well and know whats wrong with me and ive been raised believing everyone knows more than me #i worry of being so serious and actually genuine like this but this is how i like to be sometimes #stupidly thinking too much into things and laughing at myself for it and wondering why i would put myself down on something id encourage-#others to do #i worry about losing people because they wont like all of me but they wont know that unless they see the whole picture #i find myself disgusting w/ my thoughts and the things i wanna create but i dont think that of others and its strange #weird ass moment here.....#i had a really good day today got a job and finished my first tattoo #im happy right now despite the shit i just spewed #im figuring myself out for the first time in maybe years #i just wish all the hateful shit i absorbed over those years fades away soon #and i hope i stop caring so bad lol #anywayyyyy have a wonderful rest of your weekkk <3 if u read this

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