#i need to go through the stages of grief like a normal human omg | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

natalicius · 6 months

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Sayonara Atsushi

The cosmos blooms to the ends of this earth Covered in blood, love's the only thing out there Can you see the children singing songs? Love's the only thing out there, and it looks like you

It can’t be true. It’s just a bad DREAM, right? I will wake up and everything will be ok again. We will hear him in a lot of new songs, see him smiling and playing with cats...

No, you’re awake and this is reality. Sad, harsh reality. Atsushi Sakurai is no longer amongst us. I feel like I just have to rip a big part from my already broken heart and throw it away, otherwise I won’t be able to bear the pain of witnessing the destruction of my most precious memories.

He was so scared of death, yet determined to live life to the fullest… I seriously want to follow his example but now I feel like there's no hope I can accomplish that goal in a world of so much sorrow. At the same time I feel the deepest gratitude for discovering BUCK-TICK's music and having privilege to see them live. I can't describe in words how much they helped me and my friends to go through the darkest times. @infinitesimal-souls @shayurikarasu @nuttygardendestiny @ri-ha-min

Atsushi-sama was (how terrible it feels to write about him in a past tense) a talented artist, a muse and most importantly, a human being who went through similar struggles many of us experienced. He’s not only a Japanese national treasure but also a worldwide phenomenon. He will always be remembered for his mesmerizing voice, wisdom, modesty and kindness that reached so many hearts♥ He inspired us to never give up and do what we love as long as we can, because time waits for no one... His message is ALIVE forever! Thank you, beautiful soul, for bringing peace, hope and beauty into this COSMOS!

#rest in peace #love you always #arigato #your beautiful sad eyes and genuine smile will be missed forever #thank you friends for sharing our love for him and B-T for so many years #thank you for your support #i still can't process this #Especially not here and now where most people don’t understand #how something so mundane like death of someone I didn’t even know in person can cause such disruption in my life.#i need to go through the stages of grief like a normal human omg #personal

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rhinozilla · 7 years

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OMG YAY Can you write tara realizing she has a crush on rosita as they are all in the trailer at hilltop and daryl ships them so mucj and immediately saw whats going on

“Whydoes this never happen at, like, 3 in the afternoon?” Tara groaned, standingand stretching her arms over her head. “Or ten in the morning? Why is it alwaysthe buttcrack middle of the night?”

Theothers just eyed her lethargically, all tired and wired at the same time.

“Maggiesaid it started this morning,” Enid stated, rubbing her eye. “And labor takeshours and hours usually, right?”

“Notalways,” Carl murmured, but he didn’t elaborate.

Tarafelt her back crack as she stretched, and she cast her eyes to Daryl, who wassplashed across the couch like a ragdoll and lazily watching Rosita and Enidplay cards on the floor.

“Howlong has it been? What time is it?” she asked.

Darylclucked his tongue, lifted his wrist, and looked at an invisible watch. “Halfpast the-fuck-do-I-know o’clock.”

Taracasually lifted a middle finger at him. Michonne, Sasha, and Rick had mostlybeen with Maggie for the past several hours. Every time they checked in withthe others in the trailer, the news was always the same. Maggie was being atrooper. Things were moving smoothly. The baby was doing fine. Maggie was doingfine. All normal.

Regardless,they were all sitting on pins and needles, and it was exhausting.

Carlabruptly stood. “I’m going for a walk.”

“I’llcome with you,” Enid offered.

Carlshook his head slowly. “No, I just…need to move around…”

Darylhalf sat up to watch the boy leave the trailer, but no one went after him.Questioning looks drifted to Daryl, the one who knew Carl the longest of thosecurrently in the trailer. He just frowned and lay back down, looking at theceiling. The others let that be answer enough.

Tarasat down on the edge of the bed, fidgeting a bit. She remembered when hersister had had Meghan. That had taken the better part of a day. She rememberedsitting in the waiting room with her dad when Lilly was in the delivery room.She remembered his warm hand over her knee, stopping her leg from nervouslyjumping. Ugh, she hated waiting.

Rositamust have sensed her unease, because she popped up off the floor and slid tosit on the edge of the bed beside Tara. She knocked her shoulder against hersand gave her a soft smile.

“Hey,”Rosita said. “You okay?”

Tarabobbed her head, eyes on her knees. “Glenn should be here.”

Rositaexhaled softly, looping an arm around Tara’s shoulders. The sweet, grassy smellthat always seemed to cling to Rosita filled Tara’s chest with warmth. Sherelaxed a bit as Rosita gave her shoulders a gentle squeeze.

“Yeah,”Rosita agreed quietly. “But we’re here. Today is a happy day. We shouldn’t bogit down with sad thoughts.”

Tarasniffed and lifted her head, looking to Rosita. In the months between coming toHilltop and today, they had all felt the wounds begin to heal. They stillstung, and Tara had decided that she didn’t want to go back to Alexandria.Alexandria had a new doctor now, and Denise’s office had become that person’soffice. Her belongings had been redistributed, her more personal possessionsgiven to those who cared about her. Denise had now been gone for the same numberof months that Tara had known her. And she was moving on…She was?…She was.

Still,with every flutter in her chest when Rosita moved near, there was an ache ofguilt for feeling that way. For every blush that she felt when she and Rositatouched, there was the feeling that she was being unfaithful. She and Rositawere both mourning, but where Tara had just wanted to curl into a ball and beleft alone, Rosita had needed closeness. Rosita was a very tactile person; shecraved human contact to ground herself.

Nowthat time had passed, wounds had started to heal, and she had gone through allof the stages of grief, Tara felt more comfortable with leaning into Rosita’swarmth as they supported each other tonight.

Alleyes snapped to the trailer door as it suddenly opened, and Michonne steppedinside.

Michonneglanced around at them all, then a smile spread wide across her face, and shelifted her hands. “It’s a boy!”

Darylimmediately sat upright, Enid jumped to her feet, and Rosita and Tara’s gripson each other tightened.

“Really?!”Enid squealed.

Michonnenodded fervently. “And he’s beautiful and healthy and perfect. Maggie did sogood. She’s doing fine too. Everybody’s okay.”

Thosewere the magic words.

Taramelted against Rosita, covering her face with her hands in relief. Darylslumped in his seat with a heavy exhale, and Tara felt Rosita trembling withhappiness against her. Enid crossed the room and hugged Michonne hard.

Michonnewas beaming and deftly wiping moisture from her eyes. “Sasha and Rick are withher now. Doc wants things to be calm for a while, to let her get some rest. Soeverybody won’t be able to visit until tomorrow.”

“I’mgonna go tell Carl!” Enid bounced out the door, frantic to give him the goodnews.

Taralooked through her fingers at Michonne, who was giving Daryl’s shoulder ashake, where the man looked like he was about to lose it. When Michonne lookedto the two of them, Rosita smiled and nodded tearfully. Michonne followed Enidout the door, and Tara sat up, sniffling hard.

“Ohmy God…They made it.” Tara looked to Rosita.

Rosita’seyes were glowing, even though her expression was tight. “Something goodfinally happened. The world owed us one after all this…”

Tarasmiled and used her thumb to wipe one of Rosita’s stray tears from her cheek.“Hey, no sad thoughts, right? Happy day?”

Darylsmacked both palms hard across his knees, pushing back into the couch with awide smile. Good God, his face could actually do that? Rosita wiped at hereyes, giving one emotional groan that she couldn’t contain. Tara’s heart wasfit to burst, and she touched Rosita’s neck, guiding her to look at her again.

Rositaobliged, and Tara leaned in, delicately kissing her on the lips. There was astartle to Rosita’s mouth as it happened, but she didn’t pull away. Tara feltRosita’s hands move to Tara’s sides, and Tara kept her touch light at Rosita’sneck. She tasted sweet and warm, and that sweetness and warmth moved throughTara until she felt like she could float away in it.

Thekiss tapered to a natural close, and Rosita tilted her head back, eyes wide anda little bewildered at the implications of the kiss. It was a reflection ofwhat Tara was feeling, and she made a soft pop noise with her lips.

“So…”Tara started. “That just…I just did that…No, uh, take backsies.”

Therewas a snort from across the room, and both women turned to see Daryl, stillslouched in his seat, give them a shit-eating grin and one thumb up.

Rositalaughed and then snorted loudly, and Tara laughed at that, wanting to kiss heragain and again for how adorable she was. Daryl climbed out of the couch andmade his way to the door to give them privacy. As he passed, he held his fistout to Tara.

Taralifted her chin up and beamed, lifting her fist and knocking it against hisknuckles. Without looking at her, Daryl left the trailer. Tara looked back toRosita.

“So,”Rosita drew out the word, her eyes moving from Tara’s eyes, to her lips, andback to hold her gaze. “No take backsies?”

Tarafelt herself started to sweat. “No, well…I mean, you didn’t exactly ask…I wasn’tsure that…If you wanted me to take it back, I could—“

Rositasilenced her with a second kiss, and that conversation was over.

#rosita espinosa #tara chamblers #rositara #rhinozilla fic

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