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#i like talking nonsense into the void pff
highlifeboat · 3 months
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*kicks in door* TRASH FATHER, WHAT IS YOUR WISDOM? (I saw the "speak garbage" tag and yeah, opportunity found) (Move over Heisenberg, we've got Boat)
Any ship is a popular ship if you're deranged enough about it
And no matter what you think of your own work, there's always somebody who'll see it and go "Fuck yeah that's good shit right there."
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aaalllice · 3 years
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you have changed ! pt.2 Thorin oakenshield x reader
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(I am not English)
Warning : none
good reading
~~~~~~~~~~~~
short summary
The company was captured by goblins, but fortunately Gandalf arrived. I could see the potency of all the dwarves at the fight and that Dwalin had lost nothing in the power of his punches.
We came out unscathed, incroyable, right?
Even the hobbit that we thought for the most part lost and that Thorin despised even more, and he appeared more motivated than ever.
All seem to be getting better, until heard in the distance a ord of wargs.
We have all climbed in the trees that this found at the edge of the cliff.
All seemed lost, the King was on the ground and the flames circled us.              But in an element of courage a few dwarves are hoisting on the branches and this sound throw on the wargs and orcs.                                                                 Dori, Ori and I did not do it , the two brothers were in a very bad position, suspended in the void at Gandalf’s stick, as for me, I was badly landed on the branch, which almost knocked me out.
But it’s all over, the eagles have arrived, and Thorin has apologized to Bilbo.
~~~~~~~
5 months later
~~~~~~~~
I was between Fili and Kiri who bet on everything and anything, example : which of the two will manage to steal an axe from Dwalin, where which one runs the fastest or which one will give Balin the biggest headache.
I looked straight ahead, without saying anything or even meaning to participate in their nonsense, which is unusual, and the two brothers noticed it.
how you doing, orc head ? ; says kili
you can see she’s not well, idiot, tell us what’s wrong, goblin ; says Fili
I lift up my eyes to heaven, and give them a blow to the head.
it’s all right, morons, I’m just concentrating on the way ; 
says rather about our uncle ; says Fili raising an eyebrow and with a smile full of malice
indeed at the head of the group was Thorin, I was at the end, but I could clearly see his back
what are you talking about ; 
nothing, forget it ; says Fili by winking at me
i have a challenge for all three of us ; says Kili moving his arms hysterically
the first to steal one of Thorin's hair beads won ;
i bet you I can do it by noon tomorrow ; says Fili
and I bet you I’d steal two of them ; says Kili
they turned to me, with a wide smile and raised eyebrows
Pff, okay, I just bet you I’m the one who’s gonna win ;
The day went by without a problem, Fili and Kili did not stop circling around their uncle, who now suspects what. Bravo, it will be impossible to win
Besides, we don’t talk too much, since the Godelins, our only "conversations" is we eat, we go and you are still as stupid as when you were a child, but often it’s black look, and severe.
We eat ! ; say together Gloin and Oin
The night has fallen fast, the dwarves are all going to bed
If you have anything to do, do it now ; says Gandalf with a wink
he knew, I’m not even surprised,                                                                      Well, like he says, I don’t have time to waste, where is Thorin, I didn’t see him go to bed.
we had placed our camp at the bottom of a small hill from where we could see the Lonely Mountain
He can only be here, it’s gonna be harder to robb him if he’s awake, but if I want to win...
I start to climb, I got to the top quickly, a magnificent view is offered to me, the stars shone so strong, we can see clearly . But no Thorin in sight 
what do you want ; i jumped in amazement
it was of course Thorin, he was sitting on a tree trunk
The King under the mountain would let me sit by his side ? ;
And then you sulk when I tell you you’re still a cheeky child ;
he moves slightly so I can sit
the view is splendid, I had never seen the mountain before, I must say that I never follow go so far from home ;
what do you want ; we looked straight ahead of us
but you’ve never been this close in a long time ;
I don’t know why I said that (rule number 6 of Dis, we don’t talk about the mountain to Thorin unless he tells us first)
tell me what you want before I send you home ;
oh no, don’t do that, I didn’t even tell my parents where I was going ;
you didn’t warn them ? ;
eheheheh, it’s time to think about a plan to have this pearl !
actress mode engaged ~
yes, but it doesn’t matter anyway, they’re not anymore
what do you mean, they’re gone ? ; He turns his head
they're dead ; (which is obviously a lie)
but what do you want, I have to do whatever it takes to win
my head fell into my hands, if I could cry on demand it would have helped me
I do my best not to laugh, stress maybe or it’s because I can’t wait to mocked  the brothers when I say I won
there was a long silence
I feel a hand on my back
I lift my head from surprise, I did not expect to have such physical contact with him
Thorin was close, our legs were touching, he always had his hand on my back. His blue gray eyes were looking at me carefully It was not a severe look as usual but a worried look.
I smiled softly at him
It’s all right, helping you get back to your place reminds me of something else ;
he turns his face towards the mountain, always his hand behind my back
soon, we will finally be home ;
I have an excess of confidence all of a sudden (and who tries nothing has nothing) so I put my head on his shoulder and close my eyes.
I couldn’t see his reaction, but he must have been surprised
his shoulder is so comfortable, I think I’m going to fall asleep soon
in fact, That’s what I did
~~
I wake up slowly, I would have thought I saw the stars but the sun was already rising
I was lying on the trunk, with a green apple on the ground
I get up, fang in the apple try to remind me what happened after seeing my head paused on his shoulder
I paused my head on his shoulder!! but why did I do it? arghhh, I would have the right to reprimands, nice
bla bla bla grows a bit ; I made a blazer face 
what have I done to have such an unconscious load ;  I did his usual black look
by Durin spare me, his children will have my death ; I stood up and started to make a big gesture
I continued to imitate him, when I felt that there was something in my hand
~~
good mooooorning guys ; I said in a conquering tone
y/n ; says Fili
where were you ? ; says Kili
guessed what I found ; said I raising an eyebrow
they looked at each other with an air of incomprehension on their face
what ??? ; said both, and loud enough for the dwarves close to us to turn around
Shhhhh ; I opened my hand to show them
it was a pearl, but not any pearl, a pearl of Thorin himself
how ? ; says Fili, disturbed
how did you do it? we tried all morning ; said Kili, angry at having lost
tell us ! ; said the brothers
Well, a magician never reveals his secrets ;
Gandalf started to laugh
what’s happening ? ; says Dwalin
why does Monsieur Gandalf laugh ; says Dori
'Cause of your face, you stupid idiot ! ; said Nori
a fight between some dwarf broke out, while the others mocked them
Fili and Kili were far away, too discouraged to have lost
I looked at the little pearl in my hand, I had won, I had earned the privilege of make fun of them at least until the end of the journey
but how? how the pearl landed here
I felt someone pass behind me and he took place next to me
you owe me your victory, so you owe me a favor now ;
then he went to the disordered group of dwarves, and howled in Khuzdul something I did not understand, but it immediately calmed everyone down, even me who had nothing to do with their fight.
once everyone is ready, we return to the path left last night
But contrary to yesterday, the brothers do only very small challenges (the first one that arrives at the big tree there, ....), for which I confess that I participated.
But the big difference between yesterday and today, is that now things between Thorin and me, will, how shall I put it, improve?
~~~~~~~~~~
End
pt.3 soon (i hope)
if you have somethings to say, tell me , text me
Kiss
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hgfstreamchats · 5 years
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Pokemon Yellow Nuzlocke: Part 1
Hello! Greetings. This website seems determined to change how it works every week or so. It's revolting. I still haven't gotten around figuring out how to archive. Assuming there is a way to do so. Soundwave's apparently worked something out, but nothing for the long term. Until they stop fiddling with the site itself, then there's no figuring out a permanent system. Eugh. Any hints as to what this is? A short film that should have won at the Oscars and didn't. And I've been incredibly surly over this. I see... Unattended children die in a clay mire? And how! hello! Hello there! Hello. what is happening here Bad decisions. good times, then In an asbestos mine -- nobody's favorite mineral to eat. Too late then. He died as he lived -- choking on lungs full of cold, wet, sucking asbestos and groundwater. how very existential A cautionary tale in not allowing children to wander. It's very Cybertronian!
Alright. Now let's see if we can get this emulator working. Flawless paragon of its kind, truly Oh, there we are! Is the sound alright for everyone? No problems? It seems to be working fine. coming through perfetly clear and 16-bit Fantastic! What to name your rival? Oh, so many possibilities. and only seven letters to do it in Let's see, who do I hate? and, if the name is too long, do you have a demeaning nickname Fair enough. True, and cutting his name short probably WOULD annoy him more Oh, immensely. The hardest part of this game is apparently thinking of names. I'm having fun so far! it's almost like it didn't stand a chance against a rodent that literally stores lightning in itself Your rat is displeased. Look at that face! We'll get along perfectly! Alright, here are the rules of the game. First pokemon encountered in any given area is the one we catch, fainting means death, and we get one Mulligan on Lambo because he's my special, darling little boy. Seems straight forward enough. Do you have to name all the monsters you catch? Every single one. So you get attached Absolutely. If we're not all crying before this project is at an end, I've failed as your master of ceremonies and you can point and laugh at me. I promise to point and laugh if you get all your monsters killed before reaching the next city. That's reasonable. Oh yes, back to the naming screen! Scrap. That was an accident. I thought you could only catch the first pidgey you encountered in this area? We're cheating a little because it's the first area. Tsk tsk. yeah, aren't we basically still in the forced tutorials bit? Game hasn't properly started yet Exactly. Hence The Rat With No Name, whom I'm sure we'll all grow to accept regardless. Unless it dies. then we'll accept it as The Rat That Lasted Less Than An Hour UI'm here! What did I miss? Hello! We watched a child drown in a mire, and now it is time for imaginary monster catching. Nuzlocke edition Ahhh I'm just seeing the rabbit loading screen If I'd known we were starting at the old time, I would have been here! Also, hang on while I reload Night human! Welcome! So, I hear the game music, but there's no video. Can anyone else see... anything? It is working for me. Same Gosh! This is exactly what I wanted to deal with. If I'd known we were starting at the old time, I would have been here! Also, hang on while I reload Night human! Welcome! So, I hear the game music, but there's no video. Can anyone else see... anything? It is working for me. Same Gosh! This is exactly what I wanted to deal with. Yeah, Rabbit's been... just stellar tonight Let me save and then try something. .............................. Son of a glitch. Well, that's why we save often. I'll try a different browser. I'd be lying if I said I din't fear for the Rat With No Name's Future. Eh. To be fair, you probably should. He's very delicate. He probably cries a lot. I think I need to reboot. brb Look at them clearing out those harmless, low level wild mice and rats. That's my team! Devastating the local ecosystem. The perfect hobby for ten year old children. pff, wait 'til we start catching the ones said to be responsible for the weather Assuming we get that far. I do not think the Rat is going to make it that far along. Don't you talk about my Rat that way. It's not his fault he's good at nothing. Time to move out of the baby field. And start playing with the rules properly? Yes nd I'm still not getting any video. Very odd... I'm using Rabbit Share. Does that make a difference? I don't know Hold on. Let me try rebooting it. After I name the new bird. If it's working for other people, then the problem is on my end yeah, best guess? Video drivers are acting up. wait! there it is! woo! Okay, so, Chrome works, Opera no longer does, I guess. So are we permanently back to starting at 6-6:30, or is this a one-time thing? A one time thing, at least until spring. I was feeling under the weather, so no newspark wrangling tonight." Ahhhh If I'd known I wouldn't have stayed late at work, and then run errands, and then gone out for takeout... Hmm, name suggestions for the bug? Or at the least, not those last two things "Twinkie" Ha. Now, who shall die Two mons enter, one mon leaves! And then you take the loser's money. ...it lets you JUMP OVER short hedges! well, yeah, I mean that's just general death match rules regarding money, right? So are they GIVING you the money or are you looting it from their dead/unconscious body? Mostly throwing it at you so you'll let them rush their monsters to medical aid Ah, so you're mugging them. Though, I guess they start out trying to mug YOU, so... You've killed their monsters. It is a bribe to avoid being slain as well. and this is a Nuzlocke, so they WILL kill you given half a chance It's a dangerous pokeworld out there I never knew bullying children could be so much fun! I find that statement highly suspect. Indeed, I am fairly certain you've enjoyed bullying children before this. Those were human children, they didn't count. These are Pokemon universe children. Very different. Aah, I see. *raises eyebrows* So... Pokemon universe children aren't human? .... According to the lore, they are also Pokemon. What, really? Ew. It is a strange universe That would explain why they all look the same, I guess. Or, uh... you know what I mean. The Nurse Joy lore is actually FASCINATINGLY weird Oh help me, that's adorable. I'd like to make it through the gym without casulties. *casualties It is going to be a challenge. Ooooo! A new one! Okay, rules be scrapped, I want her! We won't tell. In the name of gender diversity. Who needs rules, anyway? Besides, poison is pretty much the most fun type to play with Woohoo! Oh, it has horns? "Horny" No. "Spiky" Also vaguely inappropriate. Shoot, I was going for VERY inappropriate. Moonbeam. Very inappropriate would be something like Valveula'. Ooo, nice. I should have named my rival Valveula. You should have. You could do that next time. She's blue and thorny. I should have called her Arcee. /me hurriedly disguises a laugh as a cough A PURPLE one! Nice. In the interest of not cheating quite so much, I won't use him. I'll tuck him away and use him if worst comes to worst. Maybe the name should reflect that? Hmmmm. No room for "There's Been An Accident." exigency? "Whoopsie"? Ooh, I like that. 😃 Another! She's having none of it. If little Alpina/Arcee's going to survive the gym, she's got to learn to kill everything she loved. yeah, I've seen this first gym break the teeth of the unprepared LOTS of Nidorans all of a sudden Where were they when catching one wouldn't have been cheating? Hiding from you. And how did that work out for you, Nidorans? Have you caught all the pokemon you're allowed to before the gym? I have. There's mankey in the forest, but that's more cheating than I'm willing to do. Ahhhh. Well, would you look at that! Look at what? Little Twinkie's growing up. Oh! : ) Soon he'll be a full grown twink. Honestly, if I'd realized he was green and not yellow, I would have suggested, like... Bean It worked out this way. I guess it did! Maybe he's, like, an Easter twinkie That he is! My god https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/513t76TJEVL._SX355_.jpg https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/513t76TJEVL._SX355_.jpg images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com Oh, I thought it would actually show the image. Whoops Silly question, but does that... cost anything? To heal them up? not a cent Nice! Yeah! Take on Brock! Kick his ass! I'm at least going to get some experience off his little lackey trainers. Well now. That was too close a call for the Rat With No Name. You could just call him Boy. Time to face the first gym leader I just realized this is Zelda music Or nearly. Time to die. Rock hard defense. Pfffhehehehe Nice. *cheering* The cheating to get her was not in vain. See, children? Cheaters always prosper. We'll go to the moon cave, then pack up for the night. Nice. Oh no! You let that monster die. RIP Lambo. Ah, ah, remember! Lambo gets one mulligan! I remember. Just as he shall remember this death. Oh, well, that's alright then. He's seen what's beyond. He'll never be the same. You monster. On the plus side, the upcoming Gym has plenty of targets for his traumatized wrath That should stop him from murdering us all in our beds. Yes, that's right; have him murder other pokechilds instead. There's nothing behind those little eyes of his. Now that's not true. His death has placed the void of oblivion within his gaze When you gaze into the void, Lambo gazes back. He knows there's nothing watching out for us. Hmm. What to name the pig monkey? Witwicky. Ha. That's mean. I like it. I've been told I'm a mean individual. Probably by jealous people. Anakin. It's small and fat and full of life, like Lambo was until about 15 minutes ago. I love it. And it LOVES sand. : ) : D my children. I'm so proud. They're in the news! And I think that's where we'll wrap it up for now! This seems like a good point. Aww. Well, it was fun! Thank you for hosting tonight's nonsense. you survived, you got a badge, and there was only minimal cheating! It's the best scenario we could have hoped for! And for our traditional parting high note... A for effort. I'm sure it tastes fine. PFFF Why is he dying I like the cookie lodged in his head. His life is pain. I like the expression oh my god I called it. That's his dick. ... A very high note to end on. I'm glad you think so! That was great. Good night, everyone! Thank you for coming and enduring all of that level grinding! Goodnight! thank you, good night! Thanks for the stream, and goodnight!
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theadasave · 6 years
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kavi’s house
NULL - 10/03/2017
"Aww. Still in a mood? Baby, baby, I'm sorry. Please take me back." He hovers after Kavi. "If it makes you feel any better, picture me in panties. It's making me laugh on the inside."
Barbor - 10/03/2017
Bor flies up to land on the counter top but they dip away from their path and only managed to land on the side of it, they were having a giggle fit all the way there. "Oh sweet satan I don't think I can unsee that now, pff-aahahah!"
Lunch - 10/03/2017
"I'm not taking you back until I'm finished changing! Get your pantied ass OUT of my ROOM!" Kavi tried to not imagine it.  They were TRYING to retain their foul mood and be all scowly.  Unfortunately, it's failing fast, so they're doing their best to get Bill out before they break into giggling.
NULL - 10/03/2017
Bill backs out of the room, but giggles manically as he does so. Manical giggling in panties. You're seeing it. He knows you are.
Lunch - 10/03/2017
Kavi slams the door shut, then breaks into helpless laughter immediately, slumping against the wood as they wheeze.
Lunch - 10/03/2017
Kavi emerges a small while later with some new clothes on, as well as a backpack over their shoulder.  "Right, good to go.  Except for the mental image that just scarred my psyche, of course.  Hop on up when you're ready, Bor!"
NULL - 10/03/2017
"Right, here are the locations!" A display opens on his "chest" area with the appropriate coordinates. From the cabins to the woods, apparently.
Lunch - 10/03/2017
Kavi leans in to stare at the ChesTV, memorizing it as best they can.
NULL - 10/03/2017
He displays some images of the areas as well, just be to sure.
Barbor - 10/03/2017
Bor isn't even paying attention,  this isn't their job to do they're just tagging along to sight see and grab some grub.  that's a half lie, they can't see the images, their vision both in bug and out is incredibly shitty
Lunch - 10/03/2017
"Right, think I got it."  Kavi waits for Bor to board on up, then lifts their right forearm.  They begin to trace a pattern of runes, mumbling soft nonsense words and frowning hard as they focus in and-- POOF.
Lunch - 10/05/2017
Kavi takes a moment from putting away groceries to step outside and SCREAM.
Barbor - 10/05/2017
Hears the scream and throws their voice to sound like it's coming from the forest, it almost sounded like it came from another human.
Lunch - 10/05/2017
Kavi RUNS OUT OF THEIR ROOM.  They still have some weed pajama pants on and an overly large t-shirt with a ghost that says "I'M HERE FOR THE BOO-S". "LET'S DO IT."
Barbor - 10/05/2017
Barbor jumped off from the second floor balcony and roughly headbutts the door open, their tail thrashing from side to side excitingly. "FUCK YEAH! THOSE SQUIRRELS ARE GONNA GET IT!~"(edited)
Lunch - 10/05/2017
"GRAB ON." Kavi shoves their arm towards Bor, ready and raring to go.
Barbor - 10/05/2017
The baph  dashes towards them and jumps in to the human's arms, sure they're heavy but Kavi has mechanical stuff attached to them, it shouldn't be too bad.
Lunch - 10/05/2017
Kavi's STRONK like Russian bull.  They heft Bor over their head and activate the runic inscriptions on their arm, poofing the both of them away.
Lunch - 10/06/2017
Kavi is outside with a huge grill and a huge smoker.  There's a fresh rack of unicorn ribs on the grill at the moment, drizzled in sauce and roasting away.  UNICORN COOKOUT.
Barbor - 10/06/2017
The baphomet was sitting outside gnawing on a unicorn femur as they waited for those ribs to be done, and they heard of rumors of unicorn flesh tasting like your favorite thing in the world and boy they weren't kidding. "Oh man that stuff smells so goood~"
Lunch - 10/06/2017
"Right? Man, we should've done this sooner.  Remind me to go on regular killing sprees, those steaks last night were the best thing I've ever had."
Barbor - 10/06/2017
snrk "Remind you?~ I'm gonna drag you along when ever I go hunting!~ But I gotta hunt more mythical beings though,  it's way more rewarding then killing the normal stuff."(edited)
Lunch - 10/06/2017
"Hell yeah! What do you think we should try hunting next?  I've got a cool new weapon design I wanna try out."
Barbor - 10/06/2017
"How cool are we talkin? like that sploody type of cool or something different entirely?" They tapped the bone on their chin in thought.
Lunch - 10/06/2017
"I dunno.  Maybe a giant cyclops?  It's based on a bow 'n arrow, dependant on energy rather than a projectile.  Hoping it'll do less exploding so I can actually gather meat.  Maybe it'll even cook it in the process!"
Barbor - 10/06/2017
The baph perked up their ears to hear that this new weapon could take on cyclops, even probably cook it "Damn that is pretty cool~... I'm actually torn between a manticore and that cyclops."
Lunch - 10/06/2017
"Ooooh, manticore sounds cool too..." Kavi rubs their chin thoughtfully with one hand, the other grabbing the ribs with some tongs and flipping them over.  Sizzle sizzle. "Maybe we could take a look at some books and see what we wanna fight? Then we can make a list or somethin'. Maybe roll a dice to pick?"
Barbor - 10/06/2017
The demon's nose twitched and wibbled as the smell of the unicorn meat filled the air again, "I'm not gonna lie, but it sounds like we're making a hit-list of some sorts and that's fricken cool.~" "Make a list of twenty and roll to choose? Sounds good. Though what if some mythical police starts noticing this? What do?"(edited)
Lunch - 10/06/2017
"I mean, I've never heard of any kind of mythical police.  Well, not any inter-dimensional ones, at least.  I should be fine here."  Kavi shrugs, pulling the ribs off the grill and plating them. Some corn cobs go on next.  Gotta have veggies! Plus, roasted corn is the shit, man.
Barbor - 10/06/2017
"Haha, nice!~ This place is like our nice little hide out, grazie vuoto(thank you void)!~" they cheered while motioning their bone in the air gleefully the demon's stomach grumbled and seeing the human guard the meat like this they huffed and crossed their arms.  Wait are they putting vegitables on the grill? EWW?
Lunch - 10/06/2017
"Hell yeah! Plus I can use some of that unicorn hair, maybe? Iunno."  They shrug, turning the corn and banking the flames a tiny bit.
The grumbling stomach prompts a siiiiigh-- and they finally relent.  Kavi tears off half of the rack and tosses them to Barbor.  "Catch 'em!"
Barbor - 10/06/2017
The demon's floppy ears lifted up  to hear the sigh and once those rib pieces start coming at them,  Barbor leapt up and caught the ribs in their mouth. "* Grazie Kavi.~*"  the ribs is gone bones and all, even the bones they were gnawing on is gone.
Lunch - 10/06/2017
"So, what's that you're speaking, by the way?  Sounds a little familiar, but I'm not really recognizing the words.  Close to spanish though, maybe?"
Barbor - 10/06/2017
"It's just italian, you were kinda close though, spanish and italian share a lot of similarities actually.~"  nod nod.
Lunch - 10/06/2017
"Niiice! Is that your original language?" Kavi pulls the corn cobs off the grill and moves to a nearby lawn chair.  They plop down with a hard cider, some ribs, and some corn.  MONCH.
Barbor - 10/06/2017
This is a good picnic, what's better then eating something you killed the day before with friends? Not much?
"Yeah! It is, my old mom and pop wanted to teach us both languages would help more then just knowing one." Bor chuckled and grabbed themselves a bottle cider of their own. "How about you dude?"(edited)
Lunch - 10/06/2017
"Oooh, nice! Nah, I only know a bit of Latin.  Useful when dealing with demons and ghosts, y'know?  But I'm pretty useless when it comes to language." They give a bit of a sheepish smile, then start to tear into the ribs.
Barbor - 10/06/2017
"That's still cool though!  I guess it means you can understand me when I say something demonic, hehe~" Bor took a swig of the hard cider, "I could teach you some more latin, well that's if you want it."
Lunch - 10/06/2017
"Sure, dude! I'd love that.  Some Italian too, maybe? Then I can sound like one of those mobsters you wanna be." A cheeky grin is tossed towards Bor.
Barbor - 10/06/2017
"Hah, that'll be great! We'll be a couple of mobster goons working under a dapper ranch dorito~*" Snrk! it sounds so silly right now but these two just rallied some friends to kill some fancy horses for fun.
Lunch - 10/06/2017
"Hell yeah! I bet I could make us some tommy guns or something..." Kavi taps their chin and mumbles to themself, something about mechanics of rapid-fire energy projectiles.
Barbor - 10/06/2017
"Oh man, I remember using that on a person who thought it was a good idea to send a "message" to my dad by killing me and my sibs," the baph placed their hands on their cheeks and purred delightfully.  "That man was riddled with holes when we were finished with him, dude.~"
Lunch - 10/06/2017
"Then we could do some real drive by's!  Pewpewpew!" Kavi mimes shooting a tommy-gun, using a rib bone as a prop. "You ever give someone cement shoes, dude? That's like, the one I always hear about when someone talks about mobsters."
Barbor - 10/06/2017
"YES!~" they pound on the table but not enough to disturb the human eating, "Fuck yeah for real drive by's!!" "Oh the cement shoes? Kinda, I didn't do it per-say? I was there to see it happen though, but it was only only a hand full of times since my dad isn't fond of putting dead guys in water, he felt it might be too easy for cops to find the dead body if they're looking hard enough."(edited)
Lunch - 10/06/2017
"Niiice.  I can see why it might be too messy, though.  Eventually the muscles around the leg will rot and the rest of the body will pop free and float away.  That, or a fisherman catches 'em." Kavi snickers at the thought.
Barbor - 10/07/2017
"Dude, that's usually the case and whenever one comes floating up in the river some of us would wonder 'Shit,  is that one of ours?'"  The demon cackles  before taking another swig of the cider. "But thankfully no fishermen found any, it still could be the case though!  Most were smart enough to keep their mouth shut."
Lunch - 10/07/2017
Kavi shakes their head, immensely amused.  "Can you imagine? Going out for a nice bit of fishing and BLAM.  You hook into some poor dead fuck's rotting nose holes and think you've caught the big one, then have the shit scared out of you when you finally land it."
Barbor - 10/07/2017
The demon was so close to drinking off the rest of their hard cider but they burst out laughing  as they imagine such a scene happening.  Sure they'd be scared shirtless of it playing out that way when they were human, although now it sounds like a great prank to use on a mortal when they're bored. "Kavi, holy fuck! That's hilarious!~"
Lunch - 10/15/2017
--- Kavi is in a kitchen that seems to have straight up exploded.  There's butter and sugar everywhere, at least 5 ruined pans in the sink coated in black ooze, and one perfect pan of delicious looking caramel on the stove. They're currently grabbing some pretzels and chocolate and marshmallows to dip in the caramel.
Barbor - 10/15/2017
Barbor trotted over to where the smell was coming from and when they got to the kitchen, the demon's nose was assaulted by the smell of caramel, failed attempts at caramel, and ingredients to make the stuff. They were so confused, what kind of cooking battle went down in here? "Kavi? Why do I smell butter on roof? How did you even manage that??"(edited)
Lunch - 10/15/2017
"Uhhhhh.  I might have taken some drastic measures with attempt number three to try and stop the damn sugar from seizing up.  And by drastic I mean really drastic.  Explosions.  I used explosions."  Kavi's wearing the tattered remains of a 'KISS THE COOK('S ASS)' apron that's still somewhat on fire, but they're positively beaming over at the baphomet regardless. "But I got it right this time! Dude, lookit that.  It's like, fuckin' perfect."
Barbor - 10/15/2017
The baphomet's constant smile grew a little bit, showing their teeth just a bit is a good indication that they were beaming over this too. Explosions. They used fricken explotions to make this stuff. "You're insane you know that?" bor said that in the most lighthearted way possible, they came over and took a pretzel to dunk it in the sause. They gave it a taste... their ears perk up in suprise. "YOOOO!~ YOU DID IT!~ This is spot on!~"
Lunch - 10/16/2017
"Pretty sure that's true in every sense of the word." Kavi gave him a very big, very cheeky grin, which quickly just turned into proud beaming at the praise.  "TOLD YOU, DUDE! This shit is legit!  I'm glad I didn't give up on that last try, this shit tastes amazing! Dude, try doing this--" Kavi grabs a pretzel stick and stabs a marshmallow with it, then dunks both of them into the sauce.  Once they're good and covered, they pull them back out and shove that straight into their face, dripping caramel everywhere in the process.
Barbor - 10/16/2017
The demon tilted their head curiously to see what they were picking up, it looks like it was a pretzel stick and...  A marshmellow!~ If this goat could do those sparkly eyes right now they would, it's really getting hard not to just shove their face into the pot itself.   "That's genius!~ I wanna try that~"
They picked up a stick and a marshmellow to dunk it inside the caramel, but instead of dunking the marshmellow part in the pot Barbor dunked their hand into it too along with  the snack. "...Shit." they totally ment to do that.(edited)
Lunch - 10/16/2017
Kavi cackles with amusement, reaching over and ruffling the top of Bor's head.  "Just stick your whole hand in your mouth, dude.  I'm not gonna judge you, I'd prolly do that too." In fact, they do that right now.  Grab a chocolate bar, stuff their entire hand into the caramel, then pull it out and shove that hand into their mouth.
Barbor - 10/16/2017
Not getting reprimanded by a friend? Good shit right there!  If this place wasn't messy already the demon removed their hand from the pot and made a mess like how Kavi did before.  The goat demon was purring from having their head raffled but it got louder when they put their entire hand in their mouth along with their dipping pretzelmellow snack. It's hard not to nic themselves on teeth like barbor's but it's worth it the trouble for this yummy gooey goodness~
Lunch - 10/16/2017
Kavi's probably going to regret all this mess later but OH WELL.  They're having fun right now and that's what matters.  They show Bor how to melt a tiny circle in the chocolate by warming up the pretzel with some flames from the stove, then add it to the marshmallow kabob. "It's like a smore, almost!"
Barbor - 10/16/2017
Holy fuck, this human just blew this demons's mind! The demon took their hand out their mouth and exclaimed  "YOOO! What the heck! No 'almost' all smores are good, this one included!" "...Wait, what if we coat the entire thing in melted chocolate?"
Lunch - 10/16/2017
"Duuuuude! Hell yes! Let's try that!"  Kavi scrambles around for another saucepan, tossing a bunch of the chocolate bars inside.
Barbor - 10/16/2017
While Kavi is melting the chocolate, bor is getting the kabobs ready with the occasional crunch of a pretzel or two. "The smore kabobs are ready for dipping!~"
Lunch - 10/16/2017
"Chocolate is ready! I think! Good enough or whatever."  Kavi shrugs, then eagerly snatches up a handful of the kabobs and shoves the handful into the chocolate, though making sure their entire hand doesn't go in.  Shit's hot, yo. Then into the caramel it goes! There's some mixing going on now, but oh well. SHOVES THAT SHIT RIGHT INTO THEM MOUTH.  NOM."MMMM."
Barbor - 10/16/2017
Bor however used their telekinesis to lift up a glob of caramel and melted chocolate out of both pots,  the two orbs came together just as they spear it with the kabobs.  Regardless if the chocolate was hot or not the baph is gonna eat it in one bite. If this demon could melt they would right now, it's THAT DELICIOUS!~ They didn't say anything but let out a delighted whimpers and bleats.
Lunch - 10/16/2017
They're gonna get sugar highs at this rate, but Kavi don't care.  Kavi don't care about nothing right now, except this delicious shit right here.  SO MUCH FACE STUFFING.
Barbor - 10/16/2017
Even with a bunch of molten chocolate and caramel sauces coated kabobs stuffed in their mouth, Bor wanted to try other snacks with it too. So this demon raided Kavi's cabinets for chips, and once they got the lays chips this beast just pours the entire bag in there! IN BOTH PANS!!
Lunch - 10/16/2017
GLORIOUS FOOD CHAOS.  Kavi cheers him on and shovels some of those chips into their mouth.  HECK YEAH, SALTY AND SWEET UP IN THIS MOUTH.
Barbor - 10/16/2017
This whole feeding frenzy was clearly getting out of hand AND ITS FRICKEN WORTH IT!~ They don't even smell the failed attempts of caramel around the kitchen, hell why would they waste the chip bag too? The baph dunk it in the chocolate and ate that too! Man the stomach aches is gonna be a killer after this
Lunch - 10/16/2017
This kitchen has turned to MADNESS.  Tasty, tasty madness.  They're probably going to both be covered in caramel and chocolate and various other unidentifiable food bits by the end of this.  Kavi already has somehow managed to get chocolate into their hair.
Barbor - 10/16/2017
Jelly beans some how made it into this abomination of a snack fest, where did this goat get jelly beans and why is it sticking onto their cheeks?? They didn't even move from their spot and why is there so much chocolate and caramel sauce? Is this boi duplicating the stuff? THEY ARE! OH DEAR SATAN THEY ARE!
Lunch - 10/25/2017
Kavi bursts out of their room and runs to the fridge, ripping it open.  Thankfully, nothing ever bothers to rot while it's inside their little domain, so all the food they'd made earlier can just be pulled out.  The only reason they asked everyone to wait a couple of seconds was because they have to shove all the dirty pots and pans off the counter and into the sink.  Eh....they'll get to them eventually.  Plus there's a few things that need to warm up. They lay out a literal crapload of food, using one of the weird gadgets in their belt to zap stuff like the pizza back into the 'fresh out of the oven' range.  You name it, it's here.  This is one serious spread.  But once again, nothing ages here, so none of it will go bad if it's not eaten.
Barbor - 10/25/2017
Bor scampers in rather quickly, they knocked into a junk pile or a chair occationally while they'd head for the kitchen. And It seems that they were already ahead of the game, there was a big king sized chocolate chip cookie in their maw. The baphoment didn't really bother to eat it fully until he head made it towards the counter to pick up some soda and a good slab of peppered jerky cuz he needed a good chew once in awhile.
Snark MUNCH CRUNCH, there goes the cookie and full can of soda, and yes even the can itself.
NULL - 10/25/2017
Bill pops it and tosses his hands into the air. "Boy am I hungry! Ahahaha! That's a lie! Can you imagine? I'm just saying human things for fun." He floats over to the flood, eyeing it curiously. It doesn't appeal that much yet. Maybe once he's in a vessle that benefits from it that'll change.
Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017
There's a crackle and POP as Ribbons follows Bill in, tracing Devro's ribbon to get her. She looks like a mostly normal human right now, thanks to her extensive glamour. "heya!"
Lunch - 10/25/2017
Kavi rolls both eyes, offering a hand out to Bill. "Get in here, you obtuse.  The whole point of this was to let you try food, s'what we discussed, remember?"  The other hand waves to Ribbons, then reaches out to give the top of Bor's head an affectionate ruffle. "Heya folks, feel free to stuff your gobs.  I got booze too if you want it."
Barbor - 10/25/2017
Bor bleats a muffled greeting to Ribbons and Bill while they chew and gnaw on the jerky,   they're so glad that most of this stuff wont make him feel full any time soon.
NULL - 10/25/2017
"Oh right. Okay! This might take a minute since you've got anti-possession measures in place, but since you've shaken my hand before I should be able to bypass them." He takes Kavi's hand with a bright flash of blue flame, then melds into them, leaving a small stone statue of himself behind in his place....yeah this is going to take a while. (3 possession)
Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017
"thanks luv. booze's always welcome." Ribbons goes to grab some noms, zeroing in on any chocolate around.
Lunch - 10/25/2017
Kavi shakes Bill's hand, then zones out.  They try to help him get around the security they've laced into their body, but it's tough going.  ( 6 help ) Meanwhile, there's definitely chocolate on the counter! There's a giant pot of melted down chocolate right next to a vat of homemade caramel sauce.  Lots of little toothpicks surround it, with various things on the end to dunk in;  brownie bites, pretzels, marshmallows, angel food cake, frozen squares of cheesecake, popcorn.  You name it!
Barbor - 10/25/2017
The demon had an idea to get a medium sized bowl to put at least two or one of everything including a scoop or two of ice cream,  cuz they know they're gonna just keep coming back to the table for some more. After getting it filled they went in face first and chow down.~
NULL - 10/25/2017
It takes a while, but eventually, Bill's in! He blinks Kavi's eyes a couple of times and they turn a bright yellow with his very own slitted black pupils. A stiff, unnatural smile spreads across their shared face as he takes a few deep breaths and tries not to fall over. Their legs seem to help him keep steady, unlike the wobbly, fleshy legs most humans have.
Lunch - 10/25/2017
Yep! The actuators and pistons in the legs work overtime to keep Bill standing. This doesn't keep Kavi from being extremely amused in the back of their own mind, though.
Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017
Ribbons takes care not to inhale food like most Doves would, savoring it instead. Hey she had two years of not starving. She has manners. Not to mention cheesecake-brownie-caramel is to be savored.(edited)
NULL - 10/25/2017
Bill takes care not to snuff Kavi out completely. They're able to act if they please. This is co-op time, unless they'd rather stay in the background to avoid conflicting actions. He's practiced at this though, able to predict his host's actions through their thoughts and compensate that way. "Oh boy! This is still as fun as I remember." He gets them steady in front of the table and takes in the sight and smell of all the food. He's not sure where to start!
Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017
chocolate-covered cheesecake bite is offered by the chocolate fiend.
Lunch - 10/25/2017
Kavi had to take a little bit to get used to the sensations, mostly.  Once they've re-acquainted themselves with their own body plus one, they reach out and grab up a slice of fresh watermelon and take a big ole' hunking bite.   Chewed, swallowed, then they hand the reins over to let him try the cheesecake.
NULL - 10/25/2017
Cheesecake, bitten. He doesn't quite understand how to swallow with this kind of throat. Assuming that Kavi helps him with that, he manages with only a little trouble. For the most part, Kavi's preferences are passed to him. Same body, same taste buds, same chemical responses, with only a few exceptions. Bill is usually drawn more towards the sting spicy and sour foods more than his hosts.
Barbor - 10/25/2017
The bowl of snacks they've made was gone in a matter of minutes and now they're refilling it with their favorite snack, fruit cocktail with the charries~ they got back into their roach body for this and plopped into the mini pool of the syrupy goodness.
Lunch - 10/25/2017
"Booze is in the cabinet, I've got all kinds.  Feel free to make something for yourself, Ribbons.  Bor, what the fuck dude." Amused snorting. "Guess you're feeling cherry good in that." Kavi's not too fond of the sour, but spicy definitely seems to appeal to them.  Once they notice that Bill seems to like it as well, they grab a couple habaneros and chow down, then pass the reins fully over to Bill to check the reactions, grinning the whole while. (They also make sure to help with swallowing.  Gotta stay alive and all that. )
NULL - 10/25/2017
Straight peppers? Their eyes water up, and just when it looks like they're about to cry, Bill's laughter emerges from deep in their chest instead. It's a good laugh. An annoying laugh with some evil undertones, but when he's having a good time, everybody knows it. "Wow! Wooh... oh boy. Oops! Uh oh! Oh no!" He's laughing and wheezing, holding their gut all red-faced and a little... something else.
Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017
Ribbon's eyebrows shoot up and there's maybe an ERROR or two flashing over her before she averts her eyes and goes back to stuffing her face. Cake? CAKE.
Barbor - 10/25/2017
The little roachie chuckled at the pun and decided to throw one in for themselves, but they were cut off to see Bivi laughing up a storm, and to them it's  a type of contagious laugh to get them into a giggle fit too.
Lunch - 10/25/2017
Kavi's laughing too much inside their mind to do much of any directing at the moment.
NULL - 10/25/2017
Alright, so he crunches down on one more raw pepper, letting the seeds sit on their tongue and burn away at it before swallowing all by himself. As inexperienced as he is, he's a quick learner. "Oh man. Now that was something new. Is there anything else that hits that hard?"
Barbor - 10/25/2017
"OH OH OH! TRY THE GHOST PEPPER!~"  Bor screed while flailing their little legs!(edited)
Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017
"yeah, yeah that'll probably do ya if ya like that."
Lunch - 10/25/2017
"Oooh, I was gonna grab something else, but that's a good idea."  Kavi's back and grinning at Bor.  They go to the pantry and grab a tightly sealed jar.  It's popped open carefully, and one single ghost pepper is pulled out and popped into their mouth.  Whole. REINS GO BACK TO BILL.
NULL - 10/25/2017
Metal or not, those legs get shaky. Their sinuses start clearing out and Bill doesn't know what to do about that. FACE LIQUID? WEIRD. KIND OF GROSS. He sits down, plunks their forehead into the table, and makes some noises of intense mixed feelings.
Lunch - 10/25/2017
Kavi returns for one quick moment to request a napkin for the face liquids, pointing out the pile to Bor and Ribbons, then disappearing instantly.  Flop goes the arm.(edited)
Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017
Ribbons reached over to gently patpat Bivi's back. There there, you poor masochistic fucker.
Barbor - 10/25/2017
Barbor is having a fine ol time,  who knew watching a dream demon's reaction to new hot stuff was so entertaining?  "Are you guys okay??"
NULL - 10/25/2017
"I'm great! Never been better!" As difficult as that was to say, it sounds sincere. He's doing pretty great. "I didn't think the point of eating was to experience extreme levels of pain, but hey! Who am I to complain?"
Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017
"usually it's to experience extreme levels of pleasure but y'know, whatever floats your boat."
Barbor - 10/25/2017
"both is good! I ate some boiling caramel and that fuckin fun!"
Lunch - 10/25/2017
"It's not, I just thought your reactions would be hilarious.  And I was right!"  Sniggers, then stands and walks back over to the counter.  "Pain, pleasure, same thing.  My nervous signals are fucked to hell anyways.  One last thing to try..."
They grab a bottle of really really spicy cinnamon whiskey and chug.  Not the whole thing, but a few good swallows.  It probably feels GREAT in the mouth that just got tenderized by capcaisin.
Barbor - 10/25/2017
"Hey can you pour some of that into the bowl here? it'd be nice to have this stuff spiked a bit!~"
NULL - 10/25/2017
Bill presses a free hand to the side of their head and tugs at their hair a little. As soon as that whiskey's swallowed he's panting, lolling their tongue with watery, half-lidded eyes and a far off look on their face. This was weird from the start, but he's making it weirder, as he's prone to doing simply by existing at any given point in space and time. "More tingly stuff? That feels warm all the way down. I'm-"(edited)
Lunch - 10/25/2017
Kavi sniggers after he's finished speaking, turning and pouring a little of the whiskey into Bor's tiny swimming pool. "Sure thing, my dude."  They set the bottle down, then that weird look returns as the reins are given back over to Bill.
Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017
Ribbons looks for something a bit smoother to mix in with soda. Rum and orange soda if she can find it.
Barbor - 10/25/2017
"Thanks!~" Bor stood on a peach boat and slurped up the sweet and spicy mixture. "OOooh man that's yummy~."
Lunch - 10/25/2017
There's some nice Bacardi in the cupboard and Fanta in the fridge for Ribbons!
NULL - 10/25/2017
Bill takes another chug of the whiskey all on his own. He's never been drunk in a human body before, and probably doesn't even recognize that that's where this is leading. Oops. His pupils fizzle for a moment then refocus with a smaller laugh that borders on a giggle.
Barbor - 10/25/2017
the bug lets out a small click while they're considering something, but after a minute of debating it the demon poofed up a bottle of Absinthe on the table. "hey try this too~"
Deve/Jenn - 10/25/2017
"oh boy. this oughta be good." She takes a good swig of hers. "oh, Bor, try this. tastes like an orange cream icecream bar."
NULL - 10/25/2017
Bill lets out a sharp gasp! "It's my second favorite color!" He takes Bor's advice, the brilliant dumbass, and has a big swallow of the Absinthe. He likes it so much that he tucks the bottle against their chest. It belongs to him now. All of it.(edited)
Barbor - 10/25/2017
The moment she said orange cream, he was already flying over to ribbons and dipping their head into the cup. They gasped softly in amazement "T-This is great!!"  They dunk their head in again to take another sip
Lunch - 10/25/2017
Kavi groans.  Ew, licorice.  "You're only allowed to drink that one while you're in charge.  Licorice tastes so bad."
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