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nonexistent-social-life · 4 years

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Body Love

A/N: Hello, hello, this is a small little blurb for my bb @sugawarasimp. She doesn’t know I’m writing this so shhhh. It’s a surprise~

Paring: Sugawara Koushi x Reader

Warnings: Lots of sugary fluff

Word Count: 812

Waking up that morning, you could sense that something was wrong. It wasn’t that you felt sick, you just felt... Bad. You pulled yourself out of bed, youe eyes immediately went to the mirror across from you. You couldn’t help but cringe when you saw yourself in the mirror. You felt as horrible as you looked, at least in your eyes.

You were quick to get dressed, throwing on your school uniform as well as a very large hoodie in attempt to cover yourself. You took a deep breath, relaxing almost immediately. Then you realized that you were wearing your boyfriend’s hoodie, Sugawara Koushi. You couldn’t help but smile ever so slightly at remembering him.

Then you caught a glance of yourself in the mirror again, you smile faltering. You huffed, grabbing your bag from the corner of your room and leaving your house, not bothering with breakfast, knowing that it would just make you feel worse later in the day.

You ended up getting to school a bit earlier than you would have liked. When you arrived, the boy were just getting ready for their morning practice. Walking past the gym, you couldn’t help but stop and watch as the boys set up the gym.

“Y/n!” You looked to the side, smiling softly when you saw Koushi.

“Morning,” You said as he hurried over to you. He pressed a quick kiss to your cheek, causing your cheeks to flush a soft pink. “Hey, you’re wearing my hoodie. I was wondering where that went.”

You looked down at your attire before smiling awkwardly. “Sorry, you must’ve left it at my place last week. Do you want it back?”

“No no, it’s alright. It looks really cute on you,” He cooed, your smile faltering. “Y/n? Are you alright?”

“Yes of course!” You said, a bit too quickly. “I’m going to head to the library for a bit. I’ll see you in class,” You fibbed before rushing off. Suga stared in confusion,wondering what caused you to run off in such a hurry.

You spent the rest of the day attempting to avoid him at all costs. You knew that if you explained to him what you were feeling then he would probably tell you how stupid you sounded. That’s what led to you now.

You were being cornered by Suga who wouldn’t stop asking you what was wrong or if he had done something to make you upset.

“No, no... You didn’t do anything.”

“Then what is it?” Suga asked, his voice soft and comforting as always.

“It’s nothing-”

“Please, don’t lie to me.” His voice was almost pleading. You felt bad for not telling him. Who wouldn’t feel bad for not talking to their boyfriend about these sort of things? You sighed softly and looked down at your feet.

“I... I haven’t been feeling good about myself today,” You muttered. Suga just stood there, holding you and waiting for you to continue. “I don’t kow why I just feel gross. A-and when you said I looked cute this morning, I felt... I don’t know. I felt like you were lying and I know you wouldn’t do that. I’m sorry for not saying anything, I just didn’t want you to think that I was wanting attention or something.”

Suga slowly pulled away from the hug, looking down at you with his usual soft and caring smile. “Love, even if you did just want attention, I would give it to you. I will always be there to tell you how beautiful and amazing you are,” He said, reaching up and gently wiping your cheek.

You didn’t even realize you were crying until he had done so. “Koushi... I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. Just talk to me next time okay?” He asked. You nodded quickly as he pulled you in for another tight hug. You hugged him back, burying your face into the crook of his neck. He gently rubbed your back as you cried. He softly whispered soft praises and compliments into your ear.

Neither of you knew how long you stayed like that, only that by the time you had broken your hug, volley practice was halfway over. The two of you walked back to the gym, you just stayed outside, not wanting the other club members to see you in such a vulnerable state.

But when Suga came back outside, you looked at him confused. “What are you doing? What about practice?” You questioned.

“It’s alright. Being with you right now is more important. I’ll just stay a bit later tomorrow night. Let’s go get something to eat,” He said, gently grabbing your hand. You couldn’t help but smile and intertwine your fingers with his.

“Thank you,” You said softly. Suga looked at you, smiling as he brought your hand up to place a kiss on it.

“Anything for you.”

Quick A/N: Hello to everyone who reads this. I just wanted to let you all know that you are all beautiful in your own way. You are your worst critique and you always think the harshest of yourself. It’s normal to not be happy with yourself 24/7. But it’s important to remember that there are people who think you are beautiful all the time. Please don’t be too harsh on yourselves! You all are perfect in your own ways and you deserve love and happiness!

#sugawara x reader #sugawara imagines #sugawara headcanons #sugawara fluff #sugawara x you #body positivity #body love #haikyuu!! fanfiction #haikyuu!! sugawara #sugawara koushi #love yourself #yall are amazing

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lauras-collection · 5 years

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Too Shy

Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: You’ve fallen for your best friend and you don’t know if you should tell him

Warnings: alcohol consumption, angst? smoking (I don’t kow how to do these warnings so if there is anything in here you think I should mention, let me know)

A/N: Hi, this is my first time posting my writing on tumblr, so bear with me haha. The inspiration for this story was the song 2Shy by Shura and there is going to be a second part to this I just haven’t really figured it out yet :D But for now ENJOY! (Feedback is greatly appreciated)

You were shy. No, that’s not right. You were too shy. Your palms were sweaty just thinking about talking to strangers. And when it came to admitting feelings it was worse. It took you long enough to even realise that you had fallen for your best friend. Talk about being cliche. Telling him was completely out of question. You couldn’t. It wasn’t really that you were afraid of his reaction...Okay, you were terrified. But you felt like Tom would be cool about it. He wouldn’t laugh at you. Maybe he would say that he’s flattered. But about one thing you were sure. He wasn’t feeling the same way. Of course, you had gotten your hopes up a few times, when he moved a strand of hair out of your face or looked at you just a little bit too long. But he deserved so much better than someone who couldn’t even talk about their feelings with him. The thing is, you’ve known each other for four years and neither of you ever really had a serious relationship during that time, but you knew of a previous girlfriend he had and let’s just say... he’s way out of your league.

You noticed Tom sitting by the window looking out for you and sending you a wave when you noticed him. The plan was to get some drinks and then go to the cinema to watch a film, you weren’t really sure which film you wanted to see but it was a tradition to go see a movie together once a month (when he wasn’t away filming) and since October was coming to an end soon you both decided today would be the day.

“Hey.” You smiled softly and sat down across from Tom. While a lot of people would greet their best friend with a hug or some sort of affectionate gesture, you couldn’t bring yourself to do so in a public place like this. Especially since you realised your feelings for Tom were not just platonic, you decided it would be better if you kept your distance, at least physically, as much as possible. You didn’t know if Tom noticed the change in your behaviour but you figured he didn’t because he was still the same old, acting as nothing had changed. Because for him it didn’t.

“Hi Y/N, how is my favourite non-smoker?” His smile was kind but a little bit teasing. He didn’t believe you when you told him a few weeks ago that you wanted to stop smoking. Well, he believed you that you wanted to but he didn’t think you’d go through with it.

“I think the proper term would be ex-smoker, and I’m doing fine. Haven’t even had the urge to smoke today.” Okay, that might have been a bit of a lie. You had thought about it once today and that was when you were getting ready for tonight, thinking about how you’re going to survive an evening close to Tom. But you couldn’t tell him that. So you just tried to send him a convincing smile.

“I’m so proud of you for that, y’know?” His smile was dazzling and you couldn’t help but return it.

“Thanks, Tom. What’ve you been up to today? Did you go to that audition you talked about?” Ever since you’ve known Tom he’d been an actor. He had been in the process of auditioning for Spider-Man when you met and you couldn’t be more excited for him. And to be honest it was pretty cool to be friends with an A-List celebrity. Of course, it wasn’t always easy, especially when a crowd of fans recognised him and you were struggling to get away from all the people, but when you eventually did and watched him interact with his fans it made you proud. He was always nice to them unless they gave him a reason not to be and when he was finally finished and joined you again he was apologetic, but you always told him it was fine because it was.

“I did. It went okay, but I’m not sure I’m the right one for the role...” he shrugged his shoulders and took a sip from the pint of beer in front of him, reminding you that you should order something for yourself.

“Really? Why’s that?”

“I dunno... it’s just... I’ve never really done romance ya know? I’m not sure I’m cut out for that.” He shrugged again moving his head to look out the window.

“Tom, you’re one of the most talented actors out there. You’re cut out for anything.” You chuckle as he drops his head, a blush on his cheeks. “Plus, you’ve definitely got the looks.” Your eyes go wide as you realised what you’ve just said. Never have you ever commented on how handsome Tom was. You hoped he didn’t notice, but the way he looked at you with a smirk on his face told you otherwise.

“You think?” There was a glint in his eyes and you felt your face heat up.

“Uhh... I’m gonna get something to drink.” You managed to get out while clumsily getting up from your chair. Tom just chuckled, knowing you were probably mortified right now.

Waiting at the bar you let the last minutes replay in your head. Had you really just said that? Yes, you had. But, you told yourself, it wasn’t a big deal. He knew he was attractive, all you did was boost his ego. Just because you said that doesn’t mean he now knows you have feelings for him. Though the way he looked at you was different. And that smirk? If you were being honest with yourself, it gave you a little bit of hope. You just told him he is handsome of course he’ll smirk, he’s a little shit and you know it. Everything was fine. Chances are he didn’t think anything of it. Still, you ordered a shot with your cider, because maybe -just maybe- you wanted him to know. And for you to ever tell him, you needed a bit of liquid courage. Within seconds you had the perfect plan: get a little buzzed, go watch a movie with Tom and then tell him how you feel. Great plan right? No. You couldn’t just tell him you’re in love with him. No way. Or maybe you should?

You down the shot in one and take the cider to the table at the window where Tom was waiting for you with a questioning look.

“Did you just down a shot without me?” He was laughing but it was evident that he was starting to worry.

“Maybe?” It was more of a question than an answer. You stared at the glass in front of you running your thumb over the logo.

“What’s wrong?” Tom asked softly and you could feel the corners of your mouth moving downwards on their own accord. “I know something’s up, so don’t tell me you’re fine.”

“It’s nothing, really.” You couldn’t tell him. A voice in your head kept telling you that you needed to just take the leap and tell him because otherwise, you’ll always wonder what if. But you know what you have now and you don’t want to lose that. You’d rather have him in your life as a friend than not at all.

“C’mon Y/N. We both know that’s not true.” You looked at him and his eyes stared into yours and you swore everything around you disappeared. Your mind ran a hundred miles an hour. Was there anything that freaked you out just remotely as much as your feelings for Tom did?

“You know how I get when Christmas rolls around. With all the presents and stuff.” Tom looked at you quizzically. It was not even November. Not good enough. “And I’ve got this really important paper for uni that’s been stressing me out...” That’s more like it. Tom nodded, knowing how important doing well in uni was for you.

“Whatever it is you’ll do amazing.” He reaches his hand out and squeezes yours, the sudden touch making butterflies erupt in your stomach.

You chose to watch a drama this time. You had gone for a comedy last month and it had been filled with stupid jokes that neither of you found funny and you hoped for something with more substance this time around. The two of you were sitting towards the back, a bag of popcorn between you. Tom insisted to get the biggest one available, his treat. Halfway through the movie, you stopped reaching inside. You didn’t feel like popcorn anymore, it was just too much, too sweet and your hand brushed Tom’s too often. A couple of minutes later Tom nudged your elbow with his, silently asking if you still wanted popcorn. When you shook your head he took the bag and moved it to the empty seat beside him, leaving a big gap between the two of you. The armrest had been pulled up so the popcorn could fit between you, but now that the bag was gone you wanted to scoot closer to Tom and lay your head on his shoulder. His arm would hug you into his body and you would be so happy. But you didn’t. You were too shy.

You were so consumed with the thought of Tom being so close and whether or not you should make a move that you couldn’t focus on the movie. So when it ended, and Tom asked you what you thought of it, you shrugged your shoulders and said it was alright.

“Alright? It was amazing! Did you watch a different film in there?” He chuckled but you just shrugged your shoulders again.

“I’m gonna go to the toilet real quick, I’ll be right back.” You needed a few moments alone, away from him. The longer you spend time with him the closer you wanted to be and every time he smiled you felt like you were falling harder. You needed to do something. You needed to tell him. Now or never.

During your walk back to the lobby of the cinema you kept encouraging yourself. This was the right thing to do. Be confident for once in your life and tell him how you feel. Your steps had gotten quicker the closer you got to the lobby and you were pretty sure the only way to tell him without you backing out was going up to him as quickly as possible and just blurt it out.

But you stopped in your tracks when you entered the lobby and saw Tom animatedly talking with a young woman. She was about your age and gorgeous. Tom’s hands were moving in the air and just by looking at him you could tell that he was talking about the film. With slow steps, you walked towards them, not daring to look at the woman your eyes fixed on the carpeted floor until you were standing right beside Tom.

“Hi.” The girl said with a big smile and you had to force yourself to return the smile.

“Y/N this is Cas, we met at the audition today. Cas this is my friend Y/N.” Even though both of you hadn’t been in a relationship since becoming friends you had made up a rule that whenever either of you was interested in someone you would introduce the other as your friend, thinking that it might scare off some people to say that you were best friends. It was stupid really, but it was also a type of secret message between Tom and you. So, Tom now saying that you were his friend meant that he was interested in Cas. You could only thank the universe, or whatever was out there, that she showed up when she did because otherwise, you would’ve told Tom that you’re in love with him just to be turned down.

“Okay, uhh... I think I’m gonna go home now.” Your flat wasn’t far from here and you could easily walk. Even though Tom had offered to drive you home earlier, you were sure he wanted to spend some time alone with Cas.

“You want me to give you a lift?” Tom could tell you were uncomfortable with the situation and he really didn’t want you to walk home this late.

“No it’s fine, it’s only a five-minute walk. You two have fun.” Tom wanted to hug you but you moved away too quickly, desperate to get out of the cinema.

“Okay, I’ll call you later.” Tom called behind you and you just raised a hand to show that you heard him.

To say that you were distressed was an understatement. You had finally picked up the courage to tell him how you feel and just before you could Cas shows up. But you’re thankful, too. This probably spared you a lot of pain. You couldn’t think about that now though, because you were in pain regardless. Your fingers played with a long-forgotten cigarette in your coat pocket. You knew you shouldn’t light it because you haven’t smoked one in weeks. But the cigarette was between your lips before you could think about it and out of habit, it was lit up a few seconds later. You failed. A few weeks of not smoking for nothing. Just because your best friend was interested in a girl that wasn’t you. You let out a humourless laugh just to keep the tears at bay. I will not cry about this.

Part 2

A/N: I’d love to hear your feedback! :)

#tom holland imagine #tom holland fic #tom holland x reader #tom holland scenario #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #best friends to lovers

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cchellacat · 5 years

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Snow and Ashes

Prompt from @omnomsauruswrites

My drunkin’ Drabble: bucky/Darcy “Are you scared?” “No. I have this terrified face ‘cause I’m having so. Much. Fun.”

18+

The evening had started out so well. Her dress was perfect, her date was handsome and it was snowing lightly as they left the tower, New York a wonderland of white. Bucky escorted her to the charity gala, ever smile and wink and lowly worded compliment just a little too impolite for the company they were keeping. Darcy was on cloud nine as she flirted back happily, both of them playing a game of act and mouse.

They danced, bodies fitting perfectly together, his hands just the wrong side of decent when they skimmed over her hips and then pulled her against his body, each of her soft curves molding to him in welcome.

By the time they went into the hall for dinner and speeches she was ready to bow out early and just take him back to the tower and into her bed. Neither of them had been paying close attention to anything other than each other. His warm hand under her skirt, stroking a path up her inner thigh, when all hell had broken loose.

If there was one thing Darcy had learned when dealing with any Stark Event, it was that you had to expect the unexpected and be ready to react at a moments notice. Anything could happen.

Sure, five times out of ten all she had to worry about was making sure that none of the VIP’s got their hands on the Asgardian Mead but the other five times it was shit like this.

Aliens, killer robots, a Hulk or even that memorable time Pepper got her ass smacked by some idiot banker and nearly charred the man to ash in her fury.

Tonight it was a variation on a theme. It seemed some Hydra affiliate had gotten the memo that The Winter Soldier would be attending his first official function after he was pardoned for everything Hydra had forced him to do.

Darcy had more then liked Bucky for months. He was quiet, respectful and liked to play pack mule for her whenever he saw her hauling equipment for Jane. Even Steve had never been as attentive and conveniently available when she needed help.

Her usual brand of flirtation was blunter, but she’d adjusted accordingly the first time he’d beat a hasty retreat at one of her more blatant flirtations. All her patience had paid off as he flirted more and finally asked her to be his date tonight. They had danced around each other for months by this point and she felt like it had been a long game of foreplay, either of them backing down once committed.

It’s why, under her current dress, she had a thigh holster with a gun tucked into it. She’d had Nat giving her lessons for a while now. Darcy had looked at the probability and decided if she was going to be dating an Avenger it was better to be prepared. She wasn’t a super soldier or an assassin but she was a decent shot and could at least protect herself if she got caught in the middle of things, allowing her favourite people to get on with their jobs.

What she hadn’t expected was to be pinned down in the middle of the ballroom between two tables, back to back with her almost Honey. This was meant to be her perfect date. Instead the bitter taste of gunpowder and ash was on her tongue.

She’s happy she’d listening to Natasha’s warning to always carry at least two extra clips with her at all times.

“Where the hell did they all come from?”

Bucky fires his gun taking down three more as they move in on their position, sparing only a quick glance at her question.

“Does it matter?”

“Of course it matters, there has to be nearly a hundred of them.” She’s feeling the affects of the adrenaline and she’s angry as all get out. The evening had been progressing nicely. He’d had his hand half way up her skirt under the table when the black clad assault teams had dropped from the ceiling and crashed through the windows.

“Mostly mercenaries by the looks of them.” His tone makes her think this is some sort of explanation but right now she’s trying to concentrate on not getting shot and watching his six. Honestly though, she’s much rather be watching his actual ass instead of the blind spot behind him.

“What does that have to do with it?”

“It means they had to come from somewhere Doll, it should have been flagged as they entered the country, unless Hydra flew them all in under the radar.”

“Which means there must be another mole since there was no chatter about their movement.” She sighs as another shower of splinter’s erupts above her head. She feels herself pale. This was not looking promising. Too many civilians for the others to protect and get out, and not enough decent cover for those trying to provide cover fire.

She spots the movement from the corner of her eye and swings her gun up, pulling the trigger just before the sneaky son of a bitch manages to open fire with a assault rife she thinks could have cut her in half.

Bucky grabs her and tucks her in front of him, angling his body so she’s protected but can still watch behind them. She bites her lip hard, refusing to scream as he opens fire on some more of the gunmen.

“Are you scared?”

Darcy exchanges out the clip in her gun and scowls up at him.

“No. I have this terrified face ‘cause I’m having so. Much. Fun.”

The muttered sarcasm elicits a small grin and wink from him before they’re both thrown to one side by an unexpected blast. Thor had arrived it seemed and had landed a few feet away from them.

Bucky covered her with his body, his hand tangled in her hair, her head tucked firmly into his chest. All she can hear is the crackle of lightening, then the burning smell of ozone tickles her nose. The sudden quiet and the way Bucky’s body uncoils against her tells her it’s over.

He pulls her to her feet with him and takes the gun from her nerveless fingers.

She’s stopped from turning to look around by his hands cupping her face.

“Don’t look Doll, it’ll give you nightmares.”

She feels herself start to shake as she looks up at him. There’s blood on his face and his eyes are filled with worry. Far different than the sparkle of heat and desire he’d looked at her with earlier. She must look a riot, her hair has fallen from the elegant twist and she can feel the bruises blooming beneath her skin from the knocks she’d taken earlier.

“Come on, let’s get you back to the Tower, no need to be here now.”

Darcy shakes her head. No.

“I need to be here, I need to take names of casualties and co ordinate with the hospitals and family of the guests who’ve been injured.”

His expression is grim, but he nods and sticks to her like glue for the next four hours as first responders, medical personnel and police pick through what’s left of the Ballroom. She knows he keeps her from seeing the worst of the bodies, but she does get a good look at two of the men she knows she killed herself. She thinks she might be sick a few times, but manages to keep going, shrugging off Bucky’s increasingly worried glances.

It's nearly 3am when she’s finally done all she can. Tony tells her to get some rest and Pepper is wearing the same blank tear stained expression Darcy knows is mirrored by her own. Bucky and Steve exchange hushed words before he’s back at her side, gripping her hand tightly in his.

Bucky guides her along to the waiting car, he climbs in first, then pulls her onto his knee before closing the door, barking short instructions to their driver as he pulls away from the curb.

She curls up in Bucky’s lap and lets out the first choked sob of the night. The only thing holding her together at this point is the strength of the arms wrapped around her body, pressing her against his chest as she cries.

By the time they make it back to the tower she’s cried out the tears and bone deep tiredness is inching its way in.

She doesn’t realise where she is, until she’s standing naked in his shower, hot water beating down on her as she tries to wash the blood and tears off of her.

She’s glad he brought her here, the thought of being alone in her apartment right now just leaves her cold. There’s a brief gust of cold air as he lets himself into the shower, then his big body is pressing into her back as he brings his arms around her to take the cloth and soap from her hands. He cleans her carefully, the scents of citrus and sandalwood drifting up from the body-wash he uses. His hands wander everywhere, soothing and gentle as she melts against him. She turns in his arms and returns the favour, the silence between them full of unspoken understanding.

When they’re both rinsed clean, he wraps her in a towel and carries her to the bedroom, drying her off gently. She slips under the covers of his bed and watches as he dries off himself, admiring the shape of him, of the hard, tight lines and planes of him. His eyes never leave hers and she feels like he kows her, all the corners of her soul exposed to his gaze.

Bucky joins her, just as naked as she is and pulls her into his warmth. He’s like a space heater, and she snuggles into him happily. This is not the way she had intended to end up in his bed and it’s a far cry from the expected sexy times she’s had penciled into her planner, but it’s better somehow. His hand is stroking up and down her back and her head is tucked into his shoulder, her chest flush with his and his thick thigh sandwiched between her legs, they were wrapped around each other perfectly.

She doesn’t intend to start anything, but when she pulls her head back to look at him, he looks back at her with a sort of desperate need that resonates deep in her soul. They nearly died tonight, would have if not for luck and good training.

Then his hands are in her hair again, this time it’s to angle her head as he captures her lips in a hard kiss. Her nails dig into his neck as she kisses him back just as hard. There is nothing between them except heated skin and mingled breath. His body pins her beneath him, this time it’s not to protect, but to take. She gives, her legs cradling him in welcome as his hardness presses into her, eliciting a moan of pleasure from them both.

His eyes bore into hers as he ruts against her, his cock dragging through her folds, her wetness gathering quickly, coating his cock in her arousal. The look in his eyes takes her breath away and she feels the sting of tears as emotion overwhelms her. She wants him inside her, wants him to make her feel every heart beat and breath, remind her that they are both here and real and safe.

Her fingers dig into his shoulders as he enters her, the burn of him stretching her, delicious and real. His hands run over her body while he kisses her, softer now, he makes shallow thrusts that drive him deeper into her. She can feel every inch of him inside her, hard and thick, stroking her and fanning the flames as he picks up the pace at the urging of her hips, insistent with need, meeting him with each movement. It’s like a dance, one where both partners know exactly how the other will move.

Bucky is everything she hoped for in a lover, intense and sweet, gentle but intent on making her cum. His words in her ear tell her she’s beautiful and strong. That he needs her, wants her and has for months. Tells her he wants to keep her, wants to bury himself so deep inside her sweet little cunt that she’s never gets the feel of him out. She tells him she’s his, tells him he is hers too, staking her own claim on him just as deep.

She can feel it building in her core, the coil winding tighter each time he strokes over that spot inside that makes her whimper, he seems to know just how to keep hitting it, then his hand grips her ass, pulling her in, angling her just a smidge and when he thrusts this time she flies apart, comes with a wail, his name high and clear, painting the air around them. She clings to him as his hips stutter against her, jerking as he comes with her, his head tucked against her neck as he drives himself deep one last time, his cock jerking as he fills her. The flood of heat inside her has her digging her heels into his ass, pulling him in tighter as they pant, trying to breath through the wash of pleasure, a connection forming between them that perhaps should have taken longer than this, forming through their shared experience tonight..

She feels alive, she feels whole. His weight grounds her in reality, the pounding beat of his heart against her chest echoes her own. Bucky kisses her, long and slow, tongue licking against her softly till she opens her mouth, letting him in. She’s not sure how long they lie there, exchanging kisses, but the sun is forcing it’s way through the gaps in the curtains when they finally pull away from each other. He only leaves to long enough to grab a warm cloth to clean her up with before he joins her back in the bed, curling himself around her, the cool metal of one hand, heavy on her hip.

He tucks the covers around them both and the warmth quickly sends her into a sleepy haze. She finds that she can sleep now, when she closes her eyes, all she can feel and smell and hear is him. She’s safe. As she drifts off she hears the tiny whispered I love you pressed in the skin of her shoulder and she smiles, returning the words to him. For a split second he tenses behind her, then he tightens his grip on her, hugging her to him snugly. Darcy falls into a deep sleep, completely relaxed in the embrace of the Winter Soldier. She thinks, if this is what it feels like to be loved, she’s never going to let him go.

Outside, the snow fall covers the ground in a blanket of white, the world looks fresh and clean and the sun shines brightly on a new day.

@the-ss-horniest-book-club

#ladies of the hbc #drunk drabbles #wintershock #bucky/darcy #lemon #smut #Snow and Ashes

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nerdylittleshit · 6 years

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I have seen the Star Wars

And I liked it a lot. More under the cut because

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

I have managed to see this movie without knowing anything about it before (besides seeing the trailer), also thanks to tumblr new feature to blacklist content. I don’t remember the last time I saw a movie without knowing anything about it before, because especially with big movies like Star Wars or Marvel movies it gets really hard these days to avoid spoilers if you don’t want to avoid the internet all together. I have seen some (spoiler-free) first postive reviews, so I was a bit surprised to see wank/negative reviews on tumblr.

I admit that when it comes to Star Wars I am a casual fan. I have seen the movies, and as the guys I went to the cinema last night confirmed I do know what I’m talking about (also hopefully I found some new cinema buddies). I care about the characters and the story, but I am probably not as emotional invested as others. I like the idea of some ships, but very casual, and my entertainment of these movies is not influenced by any ships. That is not to say that I don’t get why some people might be upset about certain aspects about the movie. Everyone who follows this blog knows I ship Dean and Cas, and while there are many other aspects why I watch this show, I am emotional invested in this ship. So yeah, I get it.

Overall I liked this movie a lot. I need to see it a second (and third) time but for now I would say I liked it better than The Force Awakens. Which was a great movie, but as many noticed it kinda used Episode IV as a blueprint. Ironically I feel that many people back then critized this, who now critize that The Last Jedi no longer feels like Star Wars. I disagree. I felt that there where many parallels and references to the old movies, but at the same time they tried to do something new, to subvert some tropes and the audience’s expectations. Big movies, especially the Original trilogy, work a lot with tropes, so they took some risk here with breaking what the audience expected to see. I think in parts they already did this with Rogue One, which tone was different (read darker) than what you would expect from a Star Wars movie. Then again it was a stand alone movie, which allowed them to try out new things. Again I get why to some people feel like this isn’t Star Wars anymore, but I personally liked the new direction they are going.

Visually it was a great movie. There were a lot of iconic scenes/shots, and Rian Johnson certainly likes the colour red. The scenes that (visually) stand out for me were the fight between Rey and Ben vs the Red Guard and the whole big fight at the end on Crait. They do kow how to work with colours. But unlike other directors Johnson didn’t forget to focus on his characters first and foremost. They were a lot of great character moments, a lot of insight, though of course with the sheer amount of characters they couldn’t give every character the same focus.

I feel like the movie had some lengths in the second part. But then this is a general problem these days that I feel that every movie has to be at least 150 minutes long, where I think 120 minutes would have been enough (and does anyone remember 90 minutes long movies?). The other thing is that of course The Last Jedi is the second part of a trilogy, so naturally it feels like it is missing a proper end. The Force Awakens was the set up, and while The Last Jedi continues the story, it can not end it. We do get some answers but at the same time a lot of new questions.

I also feel like this was the darkest Star Wars movie yet (excluding Rogue One). There was a huge body count and the constant reminder that we are in the middle of a war. Yes, the Original Trilogy also took place during a rebellion, but they never showed the casualties so openly. Furthermore The Last Jedi repeatedly shows us our heroes failing their missions. We expect them to win, because they always do, but they don’t. People die and there is nothing to be gained expect heartbreak and grief. At the end of the movie the rebellion is at its lowest point, but yet they remain hopefull. They fight and they fail, but they never lose their hope.

Some other things:

- I liked that they gave Poe a bigger role this movie, though I hope that we do get to see more about his backstory in the last movie. I know that there are comics and books who explore his background more, but I would love to see some aspects of this in the movies. I want to know more about his relationship with Leia. I don’t think Poe was portrayed as making the wrong choices, and neither was Holdo (or Leia). They were trapped in a situation where they were no longer right or wrong choices. I think they made a good point to show us both Poe’s and Holdo’s thought process and to question each of their decisions. I’m glad Poe finally met Rey. I hope they become BFF. Oscar Isaac looked very good and I’m pretty sure some shots were only designed to remind us of this fact.

- Luke. Oh Luke. I admit that I had some trouble believing that he wanted to kill Ben. This is the same guy who convinced his father to give up the dark side, not through fighting, but through love and hope. I do believe that he had some doubts and that his exile was a punishment for the damage he had caused to Ben. Would he have killed Ben? No, I don’t think so. I don’t think it is completely out of character for him to be afraid of Ben going dark side. But I get why this scene caused so much debatte.

I could already tell that something was off about him when he appeared on Crait because the beard was wrong. I think narratively that his death made sense and the callback to the iconic two suns scene was beautiful. He died in peace, being one with the force. And seeing as this was the second death of one member of the original trio this continues the theme of letting go of the past.

- Speaking off. Luke burned down the last remains of the Jedi religion. Ben told Rey to let go of the past. The message here is clear. Star Wars is heading into a new direction. One that has its roots in the past, but who is trying out new ways and tries to form their own identity. I wouldn’t be surprised if the third movie marks the end of both the Jedi and the Sith/The First Order. The force, as Luke tells us, doesn’t belong to the Jedi. It is neither good or bad, the same as the force users are neither good or bad. The Force is all about balance. We know from the past that the Jedi haven’t been perfect either. Seeing as they already plan a new trilogy after this one ends, that will not feature any Skywalkers, we might also see an universe without Jedi and Sith.

- Reylo. I admit that this is a ship I couldn’t get behind after The Force Awakens, as I couldn’t see Rey falling for a guy who had just killed his own father. I’m still not sure about this ship or Ben’s character in general (I call him Ben, because that is a better name then Kylo, and Rey did so as well, so). I’m not sure if I want a redemption arc for him or how it could work. I know Vader got one, but it ended in his death. I am also not sure if their relationship is romantic. They are connected through the Force and the only other two characters we saw being connected like this were Luke and Leia. So, romantic false lead only to be revealed to be siblings/cousins/relatives? And yes I know that Ben told Rey about her parents, but I am not sure if this was the truth. On the one hand it would be cool to have a character like Rey, who doesn’t come from a powerful family, to be such a powerful Force user. But Ben’s line, that she is nobody except to him, I didn’t see it as romantic. If anything it was manipulative to tell her that nobody cared about her except for him. I think their relationship/dynamic is interesting and it certainly added more to Ben’s character. Still don’t ship it though.

- Force user Leia!!!!! I saw some people surprised by this, confirming to me that some people simply forget that Leia is a force user as well, even though she isn’t a Jedi. I obviously wish we would have seen more of her as this was Carrie Fisher’s last movies. Loved her interactions with Poe and that she had the chance to say goodbye to her brother.

- I loved Rose. I know some people complained about the lack of diversity but I honestly don’t see it like that. We had plenty POC and women, and even more women in leading positions, at least in the rebellion. Still missing a queer character though. But yeah, Rose. Lots of love. And I liked that their mission Cantonica put some focus on the complexities of the ongoing war. Showing us the people who became rich because they sold weapons (to both sides) and how the poor suffered. I have no feelings towards Rose/Finn. I think they were cute together but it is also not set in stone that they do become a thing. (Though I think it is still more likely we get Finn/Rey than Finn/Poe, because I don’t trust big movies with queer ships)

- Maze/ Captain Phasma. I feel like they wanted to include those two characters but then they didn’t know what to do with them. Especially Captain Phasma. In a way I’m glad they killed her off because they wasted the potential of this character completely.

I think this is all. May the force be with you.

#star wars #star wars spoilers #the last jedi #meta #movie review

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