Just realized we're only two days away from potentially getting this ultimate seating arrangement

ooh spones?

Can do~! This is for TOS Spones since that’s the one I’m mostly invested in.

when I started shipping it if I did: It’s REALLY weird. I started shipping it fairly early on... but I guess I didn’t fully commit or was in denial because there were multiple times I went ‘...OMG I think I ship them’. I know that by the time I finished the show and especially after watching All Our Yesterdays that I knew I had reached the point of no return. Over two months later and I’m still loving it~

my thoughts: They have such a great, multi-layered dynamic. If you didn’t know them, it’s se easy to think that they hate each other to the point that Bread and Circuses outright asked if they were enemies. The episode not only answere that question (no), but showed just how much they truly care for and understand each other in ways that even they seem surprised by. Spock breaks the rukes to save McCoy’s life, and McCoy effectivly tears down Spock’s denial of emotions like he knew him all his life. It’s like that throughout the entire series. They’re constantly with each other, seek the other out, and are very clealry concerned when the other is in distress. They’ll be bickering the one minute, then ready to ste up for each kther the next. Theres so much to their relationship and it took me by surprise how much there was since all I ever heard about was how amazing Spirk was (I love them too but it’s NOT the only relationship in the show and is majorly neglectful to McCoy’s importance to both lf them) and how McCoy and Spock argued all the time. Lesson here: watch the shlw and don’t listen to only what pop culture likes to remember. Otherwise, you may miss out on something spectacular.

What makes me happy about them: Pretty much what I said above. Honestly, they just feel so... complete to me. They balance each other out really well. They’re both intelligent men who put a hreat deal of care into what they do and they are so much more alike than they may ever want to admit. It feels so different than how they are with Kirk or anyone else. They’re very much equals and wherever they differ, the other fills the missing pieces. They’re like yin and yang, they are opposite, but one cannot exist without the other. They constrast yet compliment each other very well and they push each other in ways that no one else can. It’s just so good~

What makes me sad about them: Eventually, it’s gonna reach a sad end. Either Spock gets sent to AOS and McCkoy is left alone in his old age to wait until he dies, or McCoy dies before then from most likely natural causes and Spock is left alone until sent to AOS, where he’ll die a few short years later. Death happens but either way, they won’t be together in the end. If an afterlife exists in ST, hopefully they’ll be together again then...

things done in fanfic that annoys me: This isn’t just a fanfic thing. It annoys me when people protray McCoy as an unlikeable xenophobe and Spock an innocent angel who did nothing wrong. I get why and how some of McCoy’s jabs can be taken the wrong way to a modern audience that causes them to feel like Spock is being descriminated against. But it’s such a paper thin reading if them both as characters and of their relationship. McCoy can go too far, but he knows his boundaries, recognizes when he goes too far, and does his damnest to care for everyone, including and maybe especially Kirk and of course Spock. Spock was bullied and has faced horrible prejudice, but he himself holds prejudice against humanity and his logical mindset can make him come across as a cold-hearted jerk at times because he’s just not good at expressing himself emotionally. And yes, the two bicker to various extremes and have differing philosophical beliefs. It’s why they’re so essential to Kirk. But they ARE alike in many ways and frequently support and protect the other when it becomes jecessary. I highly doubt that McCoy knocked Spock out to kee him from being tortured in The Empath for no reason. That scene alone should cease any ‘Spock and McCoy hate each other’ arguments. I can’t force people to change their opinions and to an extent I do understand. I’m not even saying ship it, everyone has their own tastes. But I also wish that some would be a bit more willing to look a bit more in depth at the two and their dynamic because there’s so much more than what’s on the surface.

things I look for in fanfic: Eh, nothing in particular. As long as it’s mostly IC and has some nice shippy content as far as Spones fics go, I’m happy~

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Kirk for either of them, or we just go with McSpirk XD

My happily ever after for them: Somehow they get reunited during AOS and remain together until they reapectivly pass. Or they die at the same time and are reunited in the plausible afterlife. But otherwise, I just want them to be happy together flr hkwever long they have. Oh and we pretend that Generations didn���t happen and Kirk is still there as well.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: Switches depending on things, but at least at the start I think McCoy would big spoon until Spock was more okay expressing physical affection like that.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Vulcan style finger kissing. That counts right?

I wish i could kill myself. I even wrote a letter. So if i do it then theywill hear my last words. I want to die. And I just wish Icoukd talk with someoneabout iy. Someone who stands next to me and whowill see how much icryand how much i struggle. Someone who will hugmr and just listen. I want to besavedbysomeone but at thesame time i dont want to bothersomeone wiyh it. It bothers people. They dont want to hear this stuff. People want to behappyand i amjust interrupting them. So i will try to seem happy for them. And give them a positive versiin of myself until i am finally gone. I want to thank my sister for being therefor me and that i was the only person for herwhocould stay byherside. I am glade that i made you smile a lot. And j am glade that you love me somuch. I amhappy that i coul help you tobecome such a good woman. You are strong and you dont need me anymore because youfound your love which is enough. I trust this guy so hebetter take care of you ok? You can have all of my stuff. All those things that I had. Please dont throw my art away. It was the only thing that I loved in this world. If it is possible could you please bring it to a place where its safe or where it can stay forever? It doesnt need to be seen by everyone but just...make it last forever. Thank you for staying so strong. You will become stronger after Ileft. Then there wont be amyone who will bother you. Iwont hold you back and iwont causemore trouble. I wont be a useless person anymore who makes everything more difficult. Iam sorrythat i coukdnthelp you more. But i cant do this anymore. My sister is the only person who i can talk to so there arentreally people who i am close to... But yeah Ihave a friend who is called Vigga. He is beautiful and he trieshis fucking best to stay inthis world. I am proudof him. We havent wrote much but he was the only one who coukd calm me down when i wanted to kill myself. He was strong for the others but not himself. I love you. You are amazing and although you always call me brother, I need to tell you that I had a crush on you but I dont know what a crush even is...so i think its wasnt really real. But you willalawys bemy brother. Those drawing where my last gift for you and I hope that you will remember me. The book was beautiful and I want it to be safe. So sister, please take care of itok? ...this is the pointwhere I shoukd be talking abohtmy parents right? Yeah,but there isnt much. Mother you taughtmethat Iwas useless and that I shoukd hide myself from theworld and be afraid. That iwill neverbe good enough. Thank you, i know that now. You tried to make up your mistakes and be a good "mother", but you will never be one to me. For me you are just a woman who came to late to safe me. Your hugsare could and you voice makes me scared. But hey, you can be happy that you at least try to seem like a good person right? But one thing, if you dare to hurt my sister one more time, I will come and kill you because that is what you deserve. You wanted to protect us from "father"? Well but you didn't even consider that you are the one who should be gone. I never loved you. And I don't want to mention my "father" so I will just say that I never had a father but there was a man who made me feel helpless and lose all the hope that I once had inthis world. You make me sick. And if you dare to contact my sister again I will come and kill you too because you fucked the whole family up and you arent even sorry for it. Be ashamed of yourself. Ok and to end it I just want to say that my brother is amazing. I know that you cant read at all but i want to say that its not yourfault for not understanding us. Youstill make a lot of people happy with your big smile.so be proud of it. I am glade that you are here and dont listen to mother. You don't need to change. You are perfect already. You are happy and that is enough, brother. Keep being awesome my lovely brother. I love you so much, although you don't like hugs but its fine. Now that I amdone with my family and my best friend I just want to let say some randomstuff to some people who made me feel something jnthepast. Lina you are an amazing person and I hope that you get your 15 points in each subject. I alwayswanted to belike you. Be popular. Loving yourself. And being comfortable inany kind of area. You alwaysmake the room shine and tthat is awesome. Kira,Jakob, Vic and Nicoli, I haven't got to know you all as much as Lina but you are all really nice people and wish I could have been a part of your group.but i never really was. Maybe you didnt notice my true feelings but ialwzyswishedthat j could run away. I wasnt shy but terrified to live. But yeah. I apologize for not telling you allmy true name, its John. Dont be surpised about it, Lina and Kira already knew it. Oh and Jakob, you still look like Peter Parker from Spiderman. I am kidding butI really like you a lot, youareawesome. And Vic, I think you are thecoolest girl that iever got to know becauseyou are just being you and its amazing. I wish icoukd have open up to youbecause i liked to be around yoh. But i was alwaysto uncomfortable with myself. But because of you iwas able to sometimes say what i reallythink about others or things. You all alwags took it as a jokebut i was always serious. And Nicoli, ok i dont want to make you uncomfortable but i loved youreyes a lot. Icould starre at them and still be impressed. Ok, so i liked your jokes a lot and wish i could have seen how you dance. You are really a beautiful dude and i hope that you and youtwin brother will find happiness... Kira I am sorry that you got to be the last one. Dont bemad at me. Anyway ireally love your art. It was so wonderful and i was always jealous. I wznted to hate you dumb ass were so nice to me so icouldnt hate you.but i amglade that i meet youbecause you are really a sweetheart and i am surprised that you still donthavea boyfriend yet. You are really such an interesting person and I always wanted to bake a cake with you or dance with you. You guys are too awesome and I thankful for the time that you spend with me but i am angry at myslef that you wasted your tine on me. A person who didnt had a face. It wasntworth it. So please forget me. I alwaysthoughtthat icould tell youall my feelings and that iwant todie but i know itwould bejust me being a burden. So i shut up. You all deserved more than what you got from me. I am really sorry. Now I want to talk about a few people who probably donteven think about me. Karsten, it made my day to see you at least once. I loved yoursmile a lot and it made me happy to see you laugh with yohrfriends. I zlways wznted to beyour friend but i know that i am not good enough. Youare amazing and it was a shock for me when youcalled me John before this spanish lesson. I didnt know that you knew about the name...but it made me happy that you just accepted me as a guy although i ha ent even explained myself or said anything. Youjust respected me and yhis made me cry. I had a huge crush on you and wish i hadmore lessons with you. Iwish we could have kissed each kther and I wishyou were my best friend. Since 2016 i liked you. You are awesome but i think you never liked me as muchas ido. Keep being a sunshine. Mia i loved how good you were in volleyball and i wish i was as good as you are. I admired how nice and supportiveyou were. I wish i could have been brave enough to tell youthat i suffer in every sport lessonthat wehad. That iwas embarrassed to go into the girls changing room. That i was sorry to exist. I neverwanted to come but ididnt wanted to make it more difficult forme than it already js.. youare beautiful and i hope you find a good guy. Johanna, i am thankful for the time that youspend with me. Itwas short but it was so.ething. you saw how much i suffered but you didnt ask me why. No you asked but i used an excuse so that idont need to explain myself.WHY DIDNT YOH ASK ME MORE. WHY DIDNT YOU SAW THAT IWANTED TO DIE. Anyway, i think youare a cool girl and i sometimes wished to be yourboyfriend butyou never sawme as a dude. You justsaw the person who tried to be something thatcant even be figured out. My math teacher and my art teacher were really nice to me too. I alwagswanted totell you both that i ddont feel good but ididnt wanted to say what was in my mind. Itwas to muchtk beexplained. But my art teacheralways knew that i wastrans and he saw that j was getting sicker and sickerso why whywhy WHY DIDNT YOUSTOP AND ASK ME. I SAID IT WZS NOTHING BUT YOU KNOW IT WAS A LIE RIGHTright?? Amywag..you both were my favourite teachers and i am happy that yoh were my LK teachers...please just forget me ok? And to finish this.... Hey my dearest friend Sev, Yes i am sick. Yes I have trouble with staying here. But it wasnt because of me beingtrans. It. Wasnt.BECAUSE.OF.THAT. So shut the fuck up. I am dead because of many reasons and everyone in this letter has caused it. Yes you too. Because you left me and decided that yohr religion is more impirtant then our deep relationship. I hate you. Why did you leave? If you werentgonethan this woukdnt happen. But well you alwayscared aboutyourself anyway. I am glade that i helped youto find your way.are you happy? Well probably because you dont need tosee or hang outwith me anymore. Guess what iwillbe gone from this world too haha so youdknt need to be afraid to see me i thecity or street! Are you haply now? Good luck with yourlife. And Bas, I am glade that wehad a good ti.e together.yoh were honest and brave. I admire that. Be happy. I dont know anyone else who I know in real life so let me talk about you gugs here. @fallcter i am gladethat you are here and that you wanted tohelp me. My blog is useless andso am I. Ihope that youwill get better soon.idonthave hope for myself but you will make it. @snow-wiz20 thank you for cheeringme up when i felt lonely and messed up. I dont knowhow to thank you..but i am sorrythag i wasted your time and I hooe that you dknt have to gothrough thesame thing as me... @nouga-agathe-zed hay ehm, i am really glade that iwasable to get to know yoh, itwas interestingto meet sucha person and i wish icoukd have been a better person.i wishi was more funny and thatiwas more joyful....what youdo it amazibgand yourart is nicetoo...i am sorry that i took qso much time from you and i hope that your life will be nottoo stressful.. This is not a suicide note...it seems like one right? Haha yeah...i needed to say it I am sorry if j worried everyone but i just need toqay stuff like this I dont know when i wi b gone so j alreadg wrote this..i am sorry Dont beworried about me

Shiro Sides: Chapter Two

Shiro came back home and returned to “The sitting room.”

“Why do you call it that? Want to add a ™ while we’re at it?” Lance asked sitting on the arm rest, Shiro raised an eyebrow as one by one his...sides appeared before him.

Pidge his logical side, dressed in a suit and large glasses that they always pushedback on their nose with short croped hair.

Hunk his morality, he wore a blazer jacket that made him look snug and soft his hands always raised and covered in fingerless gloves. Shiro did have a craze back then.

And then there was Lance his creativity, he wore a garrison uniform but had a tassel on the side of his arm that made him look like a prince, or a character from Utena.

“Why even have a sitting room, your a Captain now shouldn’t we have a better living space?” Lance gestured and Shiro sighed, they had this conversation before.

Truthfully, he didn’t want to move, he hated change.

“Its fine- plus the house is already payed for.” It was left to him in his parents will another reason why he didn’t feel like moving.

Honestly he wondered why Lance was even here? he raley had to get creative and most of the ideas Lance had were mostly ridiculous. Like moving, and that was just one example…

“Alright but why the sitting room? Why not te kitchen- it at least has chairs!” Lance almost fell off he arm rest and instantly Shiro felt embarrassed

“Well it’s starting to become a regular occurance isn’t it? It’s like a therapeutic group thing with fictional people.”

“Don’t tell your subordinates that. How about you go for a real therapist.” Lance asked and that was another dumb idea. Shiro? Therapy as if.

“Look I don’t see the point of this anyway,” He tossed his coat onto the couch and had half a mind to collapse into it.

“Honestly I feel fine and relaxed and happy for once.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Shiro along with everyone else screamed “What the what!”

Lance fell off the arm rest for real.

Hunk yelped and Pidge moved away from the spot near the staircase into the hallway to avoid their new arrival.

A teenager dressed in a crop jacket with jaggard black hair and fingerless gloves, he was sprawled on the staircase looking pretty grumpy.

“Who the heck are you? Are there more of you waiting to pop out.”

The kid shrugged “Keith, also I was late to the party and thought now was a good time to pop up. With how relaxed you were feeling.” He smirked sprawling further on the staircase.

Shiro had no idea why but he felt a curl of irritation not at the apparition before him but more that he should know this kid, that he felt familiarity from him.

“Ugh, Keith.” Lance voice dripped with irritation “Why did you show up, didn’t you hear? Shiro’s fine, now buzz off.”

Keith crossed his arms “He’s lying, otherwise I wouldn’t be here.” Shiro could only watch unsure why the two were fighting.

“Wait- you didn’t tell me why you were here.” Keith blinked “oh um, I’m your anxiety.” He squared up waiting for the inevitable, Shiro finding him annoying and wanting him to leave, if only he could he wasn’t the villain here he was a part of him.

“Wait my anxiety? So you’re the reason why I survived! With that I would’ve died.” Keith blinked looking...off footed “Um you’re welcome?”

“I don’t mind!” Shiro said finally looking more at ease, he was more wary of the unknown than what he thought Keith originally was.

“Wait- you’re not...upset that I’m here?”

“Of course not? Why would anyone be upset with a fire alarm? Sure it was only a burnt piece of toast but a fire could happen, being anxious all the time is fine, it's easy to talk through it.” Pidge nodded glancing at Keith.

“Sure logic can ease anxiety and feelings- I don’t see the point of them- they are valid if you feel something then it’s real in that moment and easy to calm down.” Hunk gave his input “Like crying!”

“Huh?”

“Crying ever notice after a good cry you feel better after?” Lance could only glance back and forth “Are you guys kidding me? Crying is a bad thing you’re not supposed to cry to the point where it’s normal and aren’t we forgetting this is Keith here! A bad side.” Keith scowled “I didn’t ask to be like this.”

“Lance.” Shiro scolded.

Lance gaped “Wha- but this is Keith we’re talking about here! He is literally your anxiety and causes you distress.” Shiro had had enough “Lance, Keith is the reason why I’m even alive today.”

“Yeah but he’s stressing you out- and stress kills! Look even your hair is turning white!”

“I’m fine! There's nothing wrong with me or Keith! He’s done his partas have Pidge and Hunk but what have you done? You talk big but I din’t see what you bring to the table what reason do I need to be creative?”

The others stared and Lance looked distraught.

“I- you, “ his face closed off and he took a breath “You know what? Fine, talk about your issues with eachother or better yet don’t just bottle it up like you always do Shiro.” His eyes were watering but Shiro was still angry enough to not only care but relish in the fact.

“See how you do without me.”

Lance disapeared and that was when Shiro felt distressed, he realised lance was a part of his pride and with him gone- no it shoukd be fine everything was going to be fine.”

Everything was NOT fine.

Shiro was a mess, really. His hair wasnt combined he had bags under his eyes and he had a speech today and usually he could think of inspirational speeches on the spot but now?

His minds a blank. Thank god he write it down but it sounded flat- cheap.

Even the young cadets looked unsure.

He had so many meetings he snapped more he had no patience and everything was just goig sideways.

Until…

“Take a day of captain, you’ve been working too hard.” Iverson said and Shiro had to gape.

Workig too-

He barely got anything done today?

So he stirmed home and thats where they all were.

His sides

“What happened!?”

Pidge sheugged “Lack of sleep? Protein maybe you are working too hard.”

“Either way people are disapointed in us.”

“Not now keith-”

“Arent we forgetting something important?”

“Like what?”

“Wheres Lance?”

“Does it matter?”

“What? Of course it matters Lance’s whole core personality is being an actor and Shiro you have always been a mess Lance was able to hide that!”

“No- I’m nlt always a mess-”

“Not always but close enough, Lance quote was always fake it till you make it!”

“We dont need him!”

“Oh yeah? How did that motivational speech go, Takashi?”

“...”

“Or the stratergy meetings? Your usually good at those, but not today you had no input, your mind was a complete blank.” Pidge crossed their arms “Lance is your creativity and Keith is your instincts, Hunk is your morales and I’m logic. We are all an important piece.”

“...and we made Lance feel like he wasnt wanted.”

“We have to being him back!”

“How?”

“We’ll fogure it out while you think of a good apology for Lance.”

One moment there were in his living room, the next?

He was in a white space.

“Um are you sure this is right?”

“I think I missed the turning sonewhere.”

“No this is Lance’s room.”

“Room?” Shiro asked against the splitting migraine from all the white.

Until they heard a sound like paper theough a shredder and turned to see.

A boy surrounded by a clutter of junk, like a room slowly being chipped away by reality.

The boy held a console over a bin and almost destroyed it until Pidge yelped “Dont you dare!”

He turned startled and the kthers froze to see-

“Lance!?”

“Dont look at ne I’m hideous!” He yelped covering his face, he didnt look that bad, his hair was a mess, he wore an oversized cardigan and had the most chic glasses on his face.

He looked confortable.

He paused paused “Oh yeah it doesnt matter anymore.” He turned tossing a poster into a bin, and Shiro realised he saw what it looked like it was his pokemon poster he begged his mom for- why did he care about it again?

Then Lance took the trophy Shiro won at karate ad Shiro felt indignation he worked hard for that-

It fell in the trash and Shiro forget why he cared.

Wait.

Lance picked else up and Shiro stomped forward grabbing his arm “Stop it!” Lance looked stuned his glasses falling down his nose.

“Lance? What are you doing?” Hunk asked calmly and Lance scoffed.

“Whats it look like? i’m taking my dumb shit and I’m leaving your perfect life no need to hold you back right?.”

“Lance we didnt say that-”

“But you were thinking it!”

Lance smiled “Shiro I’m a part of you- being too hard on me is saying you are too hard on yourself I think…” Lance held out his arms.

“We both need to give each other a break.” Shiro relaxed and easily fell into the embrace.

“I cant help but think… you look like someone I know.”

“Well Maybe were all inspirations of someone you know?”

Shiro leaned back “No, I mean…” he stared at Lance his glasses tettering on his nose and his soft grown hair.

“You remind me of Adam, I never treated him right either- I pushed him away and made him feel like he wasnt important when thats not true!” Lance blinked looking touched that Shiro compared him to his fiance- ex fiancé.

That was going to hurt like a bitch.

“And not just you, Pidge you remind me of my best friend Matt, he always told me when I was wrong and helped me figure things out and Keith reminds me of my younger self, Lance I dont think Keiths better than you I just find myself relying on him more.”