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#i just wanna live in the woods and gather cool rocks and sticks and not think about my responsibilities ever again
poisednihil · 10 months
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you know what? *disappears into the woods and is never heard of again*
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camping diaries of a charub: alternian forest-side b
a massive blood shot eye with red iris glares into the camera before pulling back. the same creature as the last entry sits cross legged in a cruncified tent. they wore a somewhat tattered purple outfit with the same such hue. the only difference seems to be that four of their fangs are turned outwards and a somewhat shoddily made tricorn perched on their head.
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"FUCK, OK I GUESS I NEED TO DO THE VIDEO WHATEVER AS WELL, WHOEVER WATCHES THIS IN THE FUTURE, FEEL BLESSED THAT YOU GET TO WATCH A GOD DAMN MASTER AT WORK"
he walks out of frame, still talking as if the camera was with him. its not. its on the floor. recording a patch of intresting tent interior. it would take exactly one hour of recording for the alien to realize their mistake and reterive the camra...
"THE MASTER LESSONS ARE NOT FREE, IF YOU ARE CLOSE TO BEING A MASTER THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE LEARNED WHAT I DID BY LISTENING..."
he turns the camera towards his work, scrap would has been constructed into a crude set of tables. on one, a few cans of soda and other such tins. had been assembled in a rather odd configuration.
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"BECAUSE MY SISTER IS SUCH A FUCKING WIMP AND WONT EAT THE PERFECTLY GOOD MEAT I COULD BRING IN, I HAVE TO GET A SET UP GOING TO MAKE SOME HOME MADE NASTY ASS CANDY."
he tosses a stick into the feeder and ontop of the grate, he places a hunk of werid looking steak...
"ANYWAYS, THIS IS A "HOBO" ROCKET STOVE, HOBOS ARE FUCKING COOL, I DONT CARE IF THEY HAVE A CLOWN NAMED AFTER THEN, THEY HAD SECRET CODES, TOLD TRAINS TO GO FUCK THEMSELVES AND HAD SHIT LIKE THIS~"
theres an edge of actual enjoyment to his voice as he flips the steak over again.
"MY SISTER WANTED ME TO DO SOME SHIT??? GATHER MORE METAL STUFF, CHECK, TRY TO MAKE AN AXE, FUCKING GROSS...OH ITS FOR TREES...STILL GROSS, LOOK ANY WEAPON SOMEONE NEEDS CAN BE DONE WITH A BAT!"
to demonstrate his point, he forms his strife, a wooden baseball bat covered in various shards of scrape metal.
"IT CAN CUT, SMACK, BLUDGEON! AND IF YOU THROW IT HARD ENOUGH, ITS RANGED. PERFECT WEAPON, TEN OUTTA TEN."
he contemplates his weapon for a second before grabbing the now slightly cooked hunk of steak and ripping into it with a bit of ferocity.
"THOUGH I DONT WANNA LIVE IN THIS FUCKING TENT ANY LONGER THEN A WEEK OR TWO SO I GUESS AN AXE IS NEEDED...IF i CAN YOINK ONE OF THESE ASSHOLES CHAINSAWS, THAT MIGHT WORK TO, i SAW SOME FUCKING WERID WHITE BUG GUY WHEN I WAS SNEAKING AROUND IN TOWN AND THEY HAD A SAW."
they gain a werid twitch in their eye...
"BULKY TALL PEICE OF SHIT, DOES HE THINK HES BETTER THEN ME?! JUST SWINGING THAT SHIT AROUND LIKE HES THE HOTTEST THING TO BE PURGED OUT OF THIS SHIT TEIR ROCK?! HALF THE INSECTS HERE HAD WAY COOLER ATTACHEMENTS."
another bite of meat and he seems to come off his second of indignit anger...
"AXE...THATS NOT FUCKING EASY TO MAKE SO I DONT KNOW WHY I GET STUCK ON CRAFTING DUTY, OH WAIT, YES I FUCKING DO! ITS BECAUSE IM THE FUCKING BEST AT IT!"
from his inventory, he unloads a large pile of scrap metal. he starts digging around looking for specific pecies. thick nails, peices of an old lawn mower blade...
"YEAH THIS WILL WORK... FUN FACT, YOU DONT NEED TO SHARPEN SOMETHING INTO A BLADE IF IT ALREADY HAS A BLADE."
he looks around and stares up a tree...
"WAIT HERE."
he climbs a tree up and out of frame, theres the sound of rustling, angry birds and wood ripping before the charub drops back down with a branch.
"WOOD IS GOOD FOR HANDLES, IT HURTS LESS BUT LIKE... ONLY IF ITS SHAPED RIGHT? ITS WERID, ITS BULLSHIT BUT I LIKE IT BECAUSE ITS MY BULLSHIT."
he starts to scrape away at it, creating a decently sized handle, useing a scrap metal knife to shape it through widdling. it takes him a few hours but he soon has a semi decent handle. he rummages through the junk again to drag a long length of wire.
"I WAS GOING TO USE NAILS BUT OOPS, I DONT HAVE A FUCKING DRILL OR ANYTHING WITH POWER AND WERE NOT TO THE STEAL SHIT PHASE OF OUR STAY HERE WHICH AGAIN, BULLSHIT. NOT LIKE THAT HAG WOULD HAVE LET ME HAVE POWER TOOLS..."
he uses the knife to cut out a channel into handle. he gets distracted and looks around, abandoning the project to mess with something in the crater and grass, ripping chunks off it and going off screen to where the stove is.
"I FUCKING FORGOT THE GLUE, HOW THE FUCK IS SHIT GOING TO STAY IF THERES NO GLUE...I LEARNED THIS TRICK FROM HUMANS, APPERENTLY IF YOU HAVE SAP AND BURNT SHIT... WHICH SHOULDNT BE TO HARD TO MAKE, SAP IS JUST... SUGER RIGHT? SO IF I JUST GET SOME OF THIS BAD CANDY, MELT IT AND..."
Theres a gagging noise, and a rather noxious looking smoke that roils out from of screen... he quickly comes back with a tin can filled with something miasmic that he dips a stick. he pulls it out to reveal a semi liquad black material that he pours into the channel. he shoves the old mower blade in and ties at two points with a wire. he lets it sit as he throws the contents of the candy pitch away into the crater.
"UGH, IM TIRED... IM NOT CHOPPING DOWN ANY FUCKING TREES RIGHT NOW, GOOD NIGHT I GUESS? THIS PLACE IS WEIRD... BUT ITS NICE I GUESS, KRATANOR SAYS WE HAVE TO WAIT TO TALK TO OUR "CONTACT"? WHICH I DONT UNDERSTAND, IM FUCKING BORED... WELL, NO THATS NOT TRUE, IM NOT BORED, ITS JUST QUIET HERE, BUT NOT AS MUCH AS THE MOON. WHICH I LIKE...IM DONE TALKING."
The charub reaches over and cuts off the feed.
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blushpinkpeonies · 4 years
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Hey Goblins, uh
Did you know, that you can make an AWESOME journal for your adventures ALL ON YOUR OWN from a cereal box and paper/scraps that you likely have at home/can get from friends or family/you may find around your environment?
They’re called Junk Journals and they’re my entire life.
Im gonna do my best to walk you through how to make one! First, get you a mini cereal box! I use boxes from those cool multipacks of cereal that you can find at Walmart!
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And then cut it out so it looks like this! (I already had one cut, so I’m gonna use that)
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That “nutrition facts” side is gone become your spine!
Next, find some paper to use to decorate your cover! I was lucky enough to be gifted a bunch of scrapbooking paper, so I’m gonna use that, but you can also use newspaper, paper from books/magazines, junk mail, napkins, paper towels (excellent texture), etc!
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Go ahead and glue that paper to your box (to cover the cereal logo) and cut it out! It’ll look like this;
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Next you need to find your pages! Again these can be anything! Junk mail, envelopes, receipts, food wrappers, magazine/book pages, scrapbook paper, computer paper, construction paper, ANYTHING. Just grab a whole bunch!
You’re gonna want to fold them in half and cut them to the size of one of the covers of your box, and layer other pages inside of it to make your signatures, like this!
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Each signature should be about 7-10 pages. You don’t want them too thick, otherwise the inner pages start sticking out when folded in half. You’re gonna have a LOT of these signatures, as you wanna fill the area in the spine as best as possible. For this one I’m using 7 page signatures. Here’s a pic to show just how much paper you’ll need
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Each of these signatures are 7 pages, 6 signatures have only filled about half of the spine, so I’ll need probably 6 more.
Next you gotta figure out how you want them in your journal. Personally, I like to sew them into the spine, but you can also keep them in the spine with rubber bands, so you can have removable pages! (Be weary that rubber bands may break over time! So you may want to always keep extra bands near it to replace in case one snaps. This is why I prefer sewing them in) I find it best to look up on YouTube how to sew in signatures, just because having someone walk you through it where you can see what they’re doing is easiest. If you can’t access YouTube, there’s plenty of text tutorials on how to sew in signatures online, or you can message me! I’m not gonna go too into detail, but here’s the jist;
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Okay so I’m a forgetful gob and I hecken forgot to take pictures as I was going along kahshshshsh
But essentially, I sewed in the pattern similar to the one I drew. The dots are where the needle goes all the way through to the back. I also like to use rubber band as an extra mode of support but you can do one or the other. I also like both cuz I can tuck stuff in em between the pages. Since I didn’t take more pictures; I’d really recommend looking up a how-to on YouTube or w/e if my badly drawn diagram isn’t clear enough (heh sorry about that)
Next, I glue fabric to the spine. It spruces it up quite a lot and holds the rubber bands in place, plus it give more support to the spine since there’s gonna be a lot of strain on it.
Only 10 photos per post, so I gotta post this and reblog it with the rest.
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rainy-daze1 · 4 years
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so basically i ate a honey stick and felt nostalgic for farmers markets n stuff so i decided to give wild a happy memory becauze fuck man he dezerves it. enjoy my first attempt at an lu fic 
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It was surprisingly nice that day. Not calm, per say, but it was...nice. Lively. It looked like handmade dolls and smelled like spring grass and felt like soft fabric and sounded like mindless chit chat and tasted like honey.
They weren't about to let themselves let their guard down, especially not in a large gathering like this. But they didn't have to ignore happiness to do that. When they arrived at Haneto Village in Wild's Hyrule, they found themselves in the bustle of a market, little stands that sold wooden toys that had been crafted and polished by hand, apples coated in caramelized sugar and dipped in chopped nuts, small instruments that still almost smelled like the wood and clay they were made of, beautifully bound notebooks with intricate covers and rough pages, wonder that came from every useless but very nifty thing, produce fresh as they celebrated the fall harvest, normal jewelry that held no magic nor purpose but their beautiful shine and the happiness from wearing a thing so pretty, laughter that felt so natural and so contagious that you barely realized you were laughing, a sense of nostalgia, flowering wreaths and crowns, a contented feeling of purpose that comes from having no purpose at all, 
And honey.
It was a small event that happened every year, apparently, to celebrate autumn and apples and whatever else that found its way into the hearts and stalls of venders that year. Flowers that bloomed in the cracks between stones. Leaves that slowly drifted from trees in the wind. A handful of change. The color orange. In reality, there was no real purpose to any of this, no cultural significance, no markings on the calendar. For now, they simply existed, in the midst of the bubbling chatter and shuffling of feet and exchanges of money that were so soft and quiet, and yet, so loud and full in a way that made the air feel alive. 
Honey sticks. Little straws of honey that were maybe a couple rupees each, set in cups next to the fuller jars which parents would often look through, contemplating flavors and uses and recipes while their children picked what flavor honey stick they’d get. Sometimes, with certain sellers, the “flavors” were just edible dye, but the kids didn’t need to know that. Wild did know that, but he was indifferent, as he’d honestly picked blueberry more for the blue and less for the berry (what can he say, blue is cool, and the cooler something looks the tastier it’ll be. Even after explaining this to Twilight, he still wouldn’t let Wild eat the shiny rocks.).
He sat down as the nearly-evening air settled around him, another strange moment of calm for the usually active and rambunctious hero. But then again, he had climbed up onto a rock and perched himself at the top, so maybe it wasn’t all too strange for him. He struggled a little to bite off the top (how were you supposed to do that again? Just chomp? Twist? Ask for an adult to help?), and his hands were a tad bit sticky (as is the nature of both honey and sticks), but when he eventually got it open and tasted the honey that should’ve been sickly sweet but just couldn’t ever make him feel sick, he felt content in a way he hadn’t in… a long time. 
“I can’t get it open,” she sighed, glaring at the bite marks on the top of her honey stick.
“You can wait until we get home, dear,” their mother laughed, slightly exasperated, “it’s much easier with scissors.”
“Link got to open his with his teeth! I wanna too!”
“Link has the bite of a wild boar, sweetie, and frankly, I don’t want you taking after him.” He stuck his tongue out at his sister, slightly embarrassed about the whole ‘biting everything’ phase he had as a kid, but enjoying the opportunity to beat her in another unspoken challenge. 
The midday sun beat down, casting a shadow from the tree they’d stopped under. Defiantly, she tried harder, pulling at the straw between her teeth in hopes it’d decide to break. Her eyes lit up, pursing her lips around it before declaring "I bit a hole in it! I got some honey through!" with a ridiculously enthusiastic vigor. 
A sigh of endearment. "At this rate, I'm afraid it's too late. Seems I've got another wild child on my hands, huh?" She reached down to ruffle Link's hair as his sister tried, cheeks sucked in and lips pursed, to force more honey out of the tiny hole she'd made.
It was bright and sunny and warm and sweet and golden and laughing and sighing and happy and soft and loud and quiet and so, so far from perfect, a simple time and a simple happiness that felt real. That Wild could feel.
He opened the eyes he didn't realize he had closed. Dusk had settled.
"You back?" Twilight was at his side, doing nothing but sitting and watching and existing there, with everything. 
"Mhm." He smiled. It was a warm smile, filled with warmth and laughter and honey. He hadn't… He hadn't had a memory this happy before. He hadn't felt his own past emotions so vividly before. 
Maybe he should've been sad that they were gone. Guilty, because he failed them. But right then and there, all he felt was their warmth. That old, nostalgic warmth that had shown so brightly. Sitting there, in the same town, under the same sky, the same child he once was- he felt so, so old
and so new.
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When The Darkness Comes - Chapter 15
Fandom: The 100 Relationship: Clexa Rating: M Summary: Clexa AU. Clarke; free-spirited daughter of a humble doctor and engineer gets paired up with Alexandra; robotic daughter of an uptight Catholic housewife and CEO for a chemistry project. Or Lexa’s mother is super strict and Clarke helps her discover who she really is.
Word Count: 2.507
Elizabeth was awoken from her sleep by a knocking on the door.  She opened her eyes and looked at the clock on the wall.  It was nearly midnight. 
“Not now, Joseph.” She said weakly.
“It’s not, Joseph.  Lizzy, open up.”
Elizabeth smiled at the nickname, Jenna only used it when she needed cheering up.  The (almost) middle aged woman moved towards the door and winced at how her bones always hurt a little when taking those first few steps after being still for so long.
She opened the door and smiled at the face that greeted her.  She was immediately wrapped in a hug and all the tension that was in her body started to drift away.  There was something about a hug from your best friend that could heal almost anything.
“Lexa called me.  I came when I knew you’d calmed down.”
“Oh dear…Is she upset?”
“No.” Jenna said as she sat on the bed in the middle of the room. “She should be.  But she’s so used to you being horrible, it didn’t really bother her at all.”
“She thinks I’m horrible?” Elizabeth asked in a shocked voice.
“She doesn’t ‘think’ it Lizzy.  You are horrible.”
“I thought you were here to cheer me up…”
“No, I’m here to keep you from ruining your relationship with your daughter.  That means it’s time for some tough love.”
“And I’m just trying to keep her from making the same mistakes I am!  I don’t see the problem with trying to keep my only living child on the right path.”
“But the way you’re acting…this isn’t you! Where’s the girl I used to know?  She’s in there somewhere, I know it.”
“People change.” Elizabeth stated weakly.
“Not this much!  I’ve watched you warp yourself into the very thing you never wanted to be.  Ever since you got married…”
“I only saw the right thing to do and I did it…You got married too, because it was the right thing.”
“You think I got married because I was pregnant?” Jenna laughed mockingly. “I got married because I fell in love.  Because I was excited to have a family.  We had been talking about marriage before I knew I was pregnant with Anya.  Don’t you dare try to make me out to be like you.”
“Either way...same principle.”
Jenna stared in disbelief. The girl she knew all those years ago appeared to be gone.
“I remember when you went through your first real change.  We were still kids and I saw you really discover who you are.  I admired you for it.”
“What?”
“Yeah.  You were completely, 100%, Lizzy King.  You liked what you liked and did what you wanted.  Everyone else’s opinion be damned.”
Elizabeth smiled at the memory.  “Poor Joseph got the butt end of it.  I was so hard on him all the time…”
 Summer 1985
A loud horn honked obnoxiously outside a moderately sized California home.  It was mid-afternoon, and it was positively scorching.
“I wish she would tell her friends not to do that.”
“She’s your daughter, Gregory.  You’re the father: discipline her.”
“She’s your daughter too, Margaret.” He sighed while running his fingers through his salt and pepper hair. “I don’t see why it should only be my job.”
“Because I’ve at least tried!  You don’t do anything about it!”
“Well, what do you want me to do?!  Our daughter has spiraled out of control, I’m out of options!”
Upstairs in her poster covered room, Elizabeth King finished putting on her lip gloss and rolled her eyes as she heard her parents arguing yet again.  She didn’t think she was doing anything wrong or out of the ordinary for a 16 year old girl.  Jenna was downstairs in her car honking her horn non-stop, thinking that it would make her best friend move faster…of course it didn’t.  So Elizabeth spent a little extra time in front of the mirror.
After the teen finally decided she looked good enough, she bounded down the stairs owning her crimped pony tail and shiny sparkly lips.
“Elizabeth, where do you think you’re going?” Margaret asked.
“Somewhere with a large enough body of water for me to jump in and cool down.”
“It’s 4:30.  Bible Study is at 6, you don’t have time to go anywhere.”
“Ohhhh. Yeah, I’m not going.  It’s summer and it’s a Tuesday: I can only indulge you with all that fake Jesus crap on Sundays.”
“Elizabeth Sawyer King! I will not allow such horrible things to be said in this house!”
“You sound incredibly ridiculous.  But, I guess that’s even more reason for me to leave.” She said and headed towards the door. “Later, Dad.”
Lizzy practically ran out the door and smiled at the Toyota waiting to carry her away.  She opened the door to the front passenger side and frowned when she saw the seat occupied.
“Get out, Joey.” She commanded.
“No!  I was here first.” The young boy responded.
“Joseph Woods, if you don’t get out of this seat right now I will talk about my lady problems the whole way there.”
“Ok ok. “ Joey surrendered and got out of the car, moving to the back seat.
Lizzy smirked as she slid into the front and gave her best friend a knowing look.  She always got what she wanted.  Especially with Joey, all you had to do was threaten to talk about periods or ovaries and he couldn’t stand it.  The fact that he was hopelessly in love with the blonde teen helped too.
“Hey, Liz.” Jenna said, leaning over to give her a quick hug.
“Hey.  Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise.” Jenna smiled, and sped off.
45 minutes later they were somewhere in Malibu.  It was dusk, starting to get dark, when they approached what seemed to be the entrance to some kind of nature trail.
“What is this place?” Joey asked.
“You’ll see.  Come on.”
They all followed without question until they reached an area that was chained off.  The area was restricted after a certain hour, but Jenna didn’t care.  She stepped over the chain and Lizzy followed: because anywhere Jenna went, she went too.  Joey on the other hand was having second thoughts.
“Hey guys.  Should we really be doing this?  Maybe it’s closed for a reason…”
“Oh come on, Joe.  Don’t be such a stick in the mud.  Break a rule or two for once in your life.” Lizzy groaned.  Joseph was a genuinely good guy that didn’t like to do anything that would get himself or the people around him trouble.  But for Lizzy King, he would do anything.  He was more adventurous than he’d ever been in the last 4 years than he’d ever been since he started hanging around her and Jenna. 
“Fine… but if we get caught I’m blaming you two.” He said.
They all traveled past the chain and up a ridiculously steep hiking trail.  They scaled a little rock wall that wasn’t really dangerous at all and finally they were up high with a nice view of the city.  And below them, about 20 feet down was a lake.  All of their surroundings had a calming orange glow from the sunset.
“So are you guys down?” Jenna asked.
“For what?” Joey responded.
“Cliff jumping!” Lizzy answered. “And I’m totally down.” She said while instantly starting to strip out of her clothes.  Joey’s forest green eyes widened at how the teen so nonchalantly shed her clothing. 
Luckily, she knew they would be getting in water wherever they ended up, so Lizzy came prepared.  Wearing a bathing suit beneath her shorts and t-shirt.  Jenna was prepared all the same and stripped out of the casual dress she was wearing.  The two girls automatically clasped their hands together as they stood at the edge of the cliff: excited and terrified.  With one look at each other they knew they were ready and they stepped off the 20 foot drop.
Joey heard 5 seconds worth of loud shrill screaming followed by a big splash.  He rushed over to the edge to make sure his friends were alright.  When their heads popped up and he heard laughter, he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
“Come on, Joey!” Jenna yelled. “The water feels amazing!”
Joey had to admit it seemed like fun, and even though it was almost 6, it was still really hot so the water might feel refreshing.  He took off his shirt and peered into the water below him: a bit too nervous to actually make the jump right away.
“You know he does have a really nice bod…he’s a nice guy, cute face.  Dating him wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.” Jenna said, quiet enough so only Lizzy could hear.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“You know why…” The blonde shook her head. “He keeps pining after me, lying to himself.”
“Well if y-“
“Stop it!” Lizzy snapped.  She took a deep breath to calm the anger that flared up out of nowhere. ”I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.  I shouldn’t push you.”
They sat in an awkward silence until Jenna realized Joey had yet to jump. “Let’s go scaredy-cat!” she shouted as she swam over to the rope that was attached to the top of the cliff and began to pull herself back up.  Lizzy followed suit and they made their way back to where their friend was still standing.
Suddenly, a light was being shown on them and they heard a man yell something at them.
Jenna quickly gathered her things and instructed her friends to run.  And they did: they scooped up their belongings and bolted back in the direction they came from.  Luckily they saw that they could just slide down a dirt hill rather than trying to scale the little rock wall again.  Taking the time to do that would get them caught.
All 3 teens tumbled down the hill and proceeded to run covered in dirt, pebbles, and remnants of weeds.  Once reaching Jenna’s car they sped off, not bothering to look back and see if whoever was yelling was on their trail or not.
“I didn’t even get to jump.” Joey wined.
Jenna giggled “Next time, Joe.  Just do it: don’t wait so long.” She sighed. “You guys wanna go to Santa Barbara tomorrow?”
“I can’t.  I’ve got youth group.”
“I’m in.” Lizzy said cheerfully.
“You aren’t coming to group? You haven’t gone in weeks.   Everyone misses you.”
“You know I don’t believe in that stuff, Joe.”
“You used to…I mean when we were kids you were there all the time.  Every youth event, it was guaranteed you would be there.  But it’s like the last few years you’ve just lost faith.”
“I didn’t lose anything.  I’m not letting all those mindless drones control me anymore.  I grew a brain. You should do the same…”
“Come on, Liz.  That’s harsh.” Jenna said sympathetically.
“No, don’t worry about it.” Joey said.  “Lizzy has a right to believe in what she wants…but so do I.  And you know what? I’m offended that you insulted me because I live my life a certain way.  I’m a Christian, and I believe that fellowship and prayer works.   If you don’t feel the same way that’s fine, but don’t go around calling people mindless.”
The car went silent for a minute before Joey spoke up again.
“Just pull the car over.  I can walk from here.”
“No Joe.  We’re not that far from your house.” Jenna pleaded
“Exactly.  We’re not far, let me out.  I don’t want to be around her right now.”
“Ok…I’ll call you later.” Jenna said as she pulled over.  Joey got out without saying anything and the two girls redirected to the King house.
“What the hell, Liz?! What’s been going on with you lately?  You’ve been giving Joey so much shit lately and he’s finally had enough.  Are you happy?”
The blonde didn’t say anything.  She knew what she said was uncalled for but for some reason she kept snapping at all the people around her.   Lizzy was angry and couldn’t help but take it out on everyone around her.
Not wanting to deal with her parents, she asked. “Can I stay at your place tonight? Please?”
Jenna didn’t respond: they both already knew what the answer to that question was. 
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