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cultofbeatles · 4 years

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beginners guide to the members of led zeppelin (kind of)

a disclaimer before anyone starts reading: we all know led zeppelin is shady as hell and we hardly ever get anything confirmed or denied around here. so some stuff is up for speculation. everything in this post are things i've read in books, heard in interviews, or got from some other source. when it comes to “facts about led zeppelin” sometimes you gotta take it with a grain of salt. but honestly it’s led zeppelin we’re talking about, anything is possible. also this is all in good fun and giggles. with that being said, let’s get started with introductions to the members themselves.

jimmy page

james patrick page

born on January 9, 1944

he’s a capricorn sun, cancer moon, and scorpio rising so you just know he’s a crazy motherfucker

was an amazing session guitarist and basically everyone wanted him

went to art school bc he’s just talented at everything i guess

if you didn't know already he played the guitar for Joe cocker’s ‘with a little help from my friends’

declined his first offer to join the yardbirds but later decided to join

was the last member to leave the group

basically was the leader of led zeppelin

was gifted a telecaster guitar by his friend jeff beck and he adored it

and he painted a cool dragon design on it

played on it for the first led zeppelin album

when he was on tour one of his friends painted over his dragon design and ruined the guitar

he produced all of led zeppelin’s albums and is responsible for the remastering of those same albums

paid for led zeppelin’s first album to be produced with his own money

deadass would have whips and handcuffs around with him on tour for the groupies

but was apparently an amazing lover and cared for the people he slept with

one time he got naked on a food cart thingy, put whip cream over his body, and had john bonham push him into a room with groupies in it

has such a small and soft voice

was fascinated in aleister crowley and his work

would collect crowely memorabilia

even bought crowley’s boleskine house

had a bookstore at one point so he could get books easier

struggled with addiction to drugs for most of the seventies

went on a liquid diet late seventies and refused to eat solid food

he got really skinny bc of it :(

miss pamela (one of his girlfriends/lovers) once said that jimmy cried on the phone to her over her playboy photoshoot lmaoo

once flied pamela’s pet raccoon in first class

allegedly had a relationship with lori maddox who was about 15 years old

laughed as two of his girlfriends were fighting each other

was kind of constantly nervous about his and the band’s image

has amazing guitar solos and improvisation but damn sometimes they drag on foreverrrr

deadass scared the shit out of david bowie so much that he had his house exorcised and would avoid jimmy at parties

we love demons

zoso

he’ll never tell us what zoso means and I'm mad

had two people die in his home. one was a friend who died from a drug overdose, and the other was john bonham when he died from choking on his vomit.

has been accused for the deaths of john bonham and robert plant’s son karac bc of that stupid “curse” rumor

deserves critiques for several things but doesn't deserve hate for that

has been through a lot and come out pretty okay

produced his current girlfriend’s, scarlett sabet, spoken poetry vinyl

check out scarlett’s work bc it’s amazing

would probably always be down for another led zeppelin reunion

robert plant

robert anthony plant

born on august 20, 1948

this is the most attractive man ever. do not argue with me.

nicknamed percy

wasnt jimmy’s first pick for a singer

jerry reid suggested robert to jimmy. and when jimmy asked what he looked like jerry said, “like a greek god.”

jimmy thought something was wrong with robert when he first found him bc he was such a good singer and hadn't been signed yet

after a practice together jimmy knew he had his singer

he would call robert “the young guy with the powerful voice.”

he thought about leaving the band early on bc he was so nervous about being in it

convinced john bonham to join the group bc they were the bestest of buddies

he’s not credited on the first album bc he was still under another contract

started song writing for the second album by jimmy’s memory

it didn't take long for him to gain confidence and start owning the stage

once when he was performing a dove flew in his hands

there’s an audio of him singing john bonham happy birthday and it makes me so happy

he would call himself a greek god

would party with john bonham a lot

kind of the hippy of the group

moans moans moans and even louder moans into the microphone

would wear women’s shirts and looked amazing in them

nurses do it better

not to mention his super tight jeans

we all know his dick is huge and he’s just showing it off

has the prettiest, fluffiest blonde hair

and the sweetest smile

can you tell that i find him attractive yet?

has a fear of earthquakes

also supposedly had some sort of a relationship to an underage groupie named sable starr (14)

also has a fear of led zeppelin nowadays

either fear or amnesia

it’s likely that he’s the reason we’ll never get another led zeppelin reunion

though a close friend thinks that if the show went to charity robert would probably do it

robert loved john bonham too much to play in led zeppelin without him

and i respect that a lot

no matter how much he’s offered for a show he turns it down every time

in 1975 he got in a severe car crash and ended up being in a wheelchair

still went on to record zeppelin’s album

once while recording on crutches and started to fall and jimmy apparently zoomed in to save him. robert never saw him move that fast before

his five year old son (karac) died from a sudden stomach illness while he was in america on tour

absolutely crushed him

was deeply upset that neither jimmy page or john paul jones reached out to him during that time of his life

john bonham was there for him though

robert apparently never forgave them for that

a car he was working on fell on top of him and crushed some of his ribs as well

late seventies was not a good time for robert plant

but he got through it all like a champ

hates stairway to heaven with a passion lmao

one time he paid a radio station a shit ton of money just to make sure they'd never play stairway to heaven again

almost didn't sing stairway for the 2007 reunion but ended up agreeing to it after all

he said he breaks out in hives when he has to play that song

he and jimmy made their own symbols. robert’s is the feather inside the circle

in 2007 he won beard of the year

john bonham

born on may 31, 1948

nickname is bonzo

oh boy, there’s a lot of stories about bonzo

he was known as the nicest and sweetest guy ever

unless he was drunk

he drank a lot :/

denied jimmy’s offer to join the group and continued to deny it until robert convinced him

once flew the starship (led zeppelin’s plane) even though he didn't have a license to

hated touring so much

he always missed his family

so he drank

he was so damn crazy when drunk that the other members would book rooms floors above where his was so he wouldn't disturb them

tore about his hotel rooms like no other

he has a son named jason bonham who he loved a lot

bought him a nice drum kit when he was younger

jason is just about led zeppelin’s biggest fan next to jimmy page

one time bonzo broke a girl’s vibrator when drunk

also punched a girl in the face when drunk once bc she waved at him

partly responsible for the famous mud shark story where a girl was apparently fucked with a dead shark by him and zeppelin’s tour manager

liked cars a lot

really really loved his family. cannot stress it enough

was irked that john paul jones got out of playing shows during the christmas holiday and he didn't

punched robert in the face once too

him and john paul jones equals the best rhythm section ever

jimmy would call it magic how well him and bonzo got along

bonzo could handle anything jimmy threw at him

he wasn't really a part of it, but he had to go to jail bc peter grant and two other dudes almost killing a man (long story omfg, but apparently the doctors had to put the dude’s eyeball back into his socket)

was there for robert when karac died

they were really good friends

there’s an interview with them together where bonzo is laughing at robert about his little farm

gave good hugs apparently

played drums like no other could and knew he was good

but still sometimes got insecure and got upset when someone he looked up to said his drumming wasn't all that special

his symbol is the three rings and he picked it out of a book like john paul jones did his

he died in jimmy page’s house (not the crowley house btw)

he had to drink the equivalent of 40 shots of vodka and choked on his vomit in his sleep

led zeppelin died on the same day

nobody can replace john bonham

his son filled in his role for the 2007 reunion show and did an amazing job of it. the whole show is on youtube, go check it out

john paul jones

john richard baldwin

born on january 3, 1946

nickname is jonesy

was also a session guitarist like jimmy

they had worked together before

when he found out jimmy was forming a group he called jimmy and was basically given the spot immediately

not only was the bassist but also the keyboardist

and could play the recorder

insanely talented. put some respect on his name

he talks in italics i swear to god

i don't have mainly crazy stories about jonesy bc he wasn't about that life

deadass he would go on stage, perform, walk off stage and go to a whole separate hotel from the other

he would only tell one person where he was at and told them not to call unless for super urgent emergencies

pissed peter grant off so much lmao

wasn't really super close to anyone in the band tbh

but bonzo was probably his greatest friend in the band

jimmy and robert kind of leave him out in my opinion

or they use to

when he found out that jimmy and robert were making their own symbols instead of picking out of a book like he was he said “of course!” and laughed

was pretty much left out of the live aid show

he had to squeeze himself on the stage and wasn't even able to play bass. he had to play the keyboard

“and thank you to my friends for finally remembering my phone number” -savage as hell john paul jones

he was one of the two people who found john bonham dead

it’s sad to think about

is actually quite funny

he has this kind of dry humor?? idk but it’s amazing 10/10 content

when john paul jones walks into the room interviewers break into a sweat

managed to look like a completely different person every year throughout the seventies or is it just my eyes?

has an Instagram account now go follow it for cute throwback photos lol

that’s all i really have for generic useless information about led zeppelin members for beginners. i hope it was somewhat entertaining. i'll make some more beginners stuff for led zeppelin. i will make y'all stan them lmao. i'm tagging @babygotblueeyes bc i know for a fact you want to get into them <3

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whumpkitty · 4 years

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Day 1 Anchor

Im testing some stuff, trying to see if the tagging system will work for me right now bc it’s been super screwy the last few weeks.

for @amonthofwhump’s may challenge, im a bit behind but if this posts properly I'll try to get back on track

part two can be found here

Fandom: Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Heroes of Olympus

TW: Impalement

Day 1 anchor

“Percy, are you sure about this?”

Perseus Jackson stood on the deck of the Argo 2 and stared out across the glimmering water, eyes reflecting the waves. The son of Poseidon sighed, and turned towards his girlfriend.

“Honestly? No, but I don’t really know what else we can do right now.”

“He’s right,” Piper stepped forward and motioned towards the water. “Katoptris said that there was something here that we need, and I only saw Percy going into the lake. Besides, it’s not like anyone else can breathe underwater,” she glanced at Percy, who nodded at her. “I don’t like it either, but if it’s something that can help us stop Gaea, then it’s worth the risk.”

“But-! It’s not like the visions that Styx-damned dagger show you are ever safe! They always end up with someone getting hurt, and I can’t-!”

“Hey, it’s okay Annabeth, I’ll be right back, nothing’s going to happen,” Percy reached out and placed a hand on Annabeth’s shoulder, but she stepped back, shrugging him off. The daughter of Athena wrapped her arms around herself, shuddering as she looked out across the water herself.

“I don’t know… I just have a bad feeling about this…”

Percy sighed and eyed the water. The Argo 2 was hovering over an enormous lake, not very far from where they had last run into a flock of Stymphalian birds. The water was strangely green, shimmering strangely in the late afternoon light. Even though it was a lake, there were decent sized waves crashing against the rocky cliffs that ringed it. As Percy watched at the water, a chill ran down his spine, like there was someone watching him. He shook himself, and flashed a grin in Annabeth’s direction.

“Come on, I’ve done stuff a lot harder than free diving in a lake. It’ll be fine!”

Annabeth still looked concerned, but she nodded. A few minutes later, Percy found himself hanging from the last rung of the ladder on the Argo 2, staring at the water. It was even greener up close. He shuddered, the weird chill spidering up his back again. He looked back up at the ship, before closing his eyes and jumping into the water.

It was cold as Styx. Holy mother of Hera it was absolutely freezing. Percy gasped as he registered the cold and he spent a moment just floating and shivering. He shook his head.

I’ll warm up if I start swimming. He peered around himself in the murk, wondering what exactly he was supposed to be looking for, before he shrugged and started swimming off in a direction.

As he moved through the water, Percy noticed that there seemed to be no life in the lake at all. Which was strange. Actually, it was more than strange. There weren’t any fish, or crabs, or even those tiny little bugs that sometimes float around in the water and are super annoying to get out of your hair. There wasn’t even any plant life. Not an ounce of seaweed, not a patch of seagrass. And yet the water was still a bright emerald green. That was… odd. Percy paused for a moment, closing his eyes and concentrating. Normally he could tell when there were fish or other sea creatures nearby - it was a sort of prickling sensation on his skin, that Annabeth told him must be him sensing their electromagnetic pulses, or something. But right now he felt nothing. The lake was truly and utterly empty.

Percy’s eyes snapped open as a breath of frigid water ghosted across him. He whirled in the direction of the sudden current, but it disappeared as quickly as it appeared. Percy blinked upon realizing just how dark it had gotten in the lake. The sun must have gone down above water, and despite Percy’s heightened vision it was getting difficult to see.

He pulled Riptide out of his pocket and uncapped the pen. It expanded out into his sword, the Celestial bronze glowing faintly. Immediately, Percy doubled over in pain. The moment his sword appeared, a grating scream echoed throughout the water. Shrill and rising in pitch, it tore at the demigod as he wrapped his arms around his head in a desperate attempt to block the noise out. It reverberated in his bones, turning over and over in the water, coming in waves that grew more and more horrible. Percy pitched his own voice to the din, screaming. It felt like his head was going to burst, oh gods make it stop make it stop make it stop..!

All of a sudden, it cut off, and Percy was left shuddering in the dark water. He uncurled slowly. He had dropped Riptide, and it had not yet reappeared in his pocket. He looked around himself, shaking, trying to find his sword or what made the screaming, when a creaking from behind him drew his attention.

A deep groan sounded through the water right before a shattering boom blasted through Percy. Right before Percy’s eyes, a huge ship, likely sunk decades ago, judging by the state of decay, emerged from the darkness. It bore down on him, a hulking shape in the water, sharp spines of wood and metal jutting out of it in every direction. Another crack of wood shot through the water, and Percy cried out, trying to harden the water around him to protect himself from the wreckage. The water swirled around him, freezing cold and Percy swore it laughed at him.

Percy whited out for a moment at the impact. All the air (water?) was knocked from his lungs as the ship powered through the water, carrying him down with it. The demigod was pinned to the front of the ship, kept in place by the sheer force of the wreck as it sank farther. His chest heaved with the effort of trying to bring water into his lungs, despite the speed at which the liquid was moving past him. He dizzily raised his head and had just enough time to register the lake bed coming up toward them before the ship crashed into the ground.

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#ww-no.1 #waterwhump2020 #whump #Percy jackson #whump fic #whump challenge

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arkhamarchitecture · 7 years

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bc @tanoraqui asked me for my de Rolo family headcanons. Fair warning that the version of Frederick that primarily exists in my head was formulated based on random joking comments Taliesin has made, Grifting’s version of him from Stuck On You, and a fic or two from @infanttreenotebook. Though not an outright bad parent, he probably wouldn’t have deserved any #1 dad mugs.

Also this is stupid long. I blame Frederick and Johanna for having seven goddamn kids.

Frederick and Johanna:

Frederick was an only child, which is incredibly rare among nobility and risky as hell (attempts were made at other kids but they fell through and Frederick’s parents weren’t in love at all so they didn’t spend a ton of time uhhh, trying). His parents strongly impressed upon him that his duty to his city was the most important thing in his life.

Frederick met Johanna when she saved his life while he was traveling for an important business meeting in Westruun. Johanna was not a noble in any way but she was singlehandedly responsible for saving him and returning him to Whitestone. They fell in love in the two-three weeks it took to get him back home and Frederick’s parents were so grateful for her saving him that they didn’t kick up too much fuss about him marrying a “peasant.”

Frederick and Johanna were much more enthusiastically in love than Frederick’s parents were - hence having seven children. That said, Frederick was not accustomed to having a large family and struggled to evenly divide his attention between his rulership of the city, his wife, and his children.

Due to Frederick’s own childhood, he strongly believed in usefulness being more important than interest. Which is to say, if something wasn’t apparently useful to him or Whitestone at large, he discarded it as unimportant. Unfortunately, many of his children held interests that were not “useful.”

Johanna was much better than her husband about being equally attentive of all of her children but she also didn’t participate a whole lot in terms of leadership. Johanna ran the treasury and also organized the guards (in terms of hiring and rotations).

Unbeknownst to Johanna, Captain of the Guard Kerrion Stonefell did not appreciate what he saw as her interfering with his job.

Julius:

Oldest son Julius de Rolo received the bulk of his father’s attention. If Julius had been an only child, he probably would have developed serious anxiety from the weight of Frederick’s expectations. Fortunately, Julius had so many younger siblings (all of whom were deeply frustrated at the lack of attention they received from Frederick) that instead Julius became the Dad Friend for all of his siblings.

In the last few years before the Briarwoods, Frederick and Julius had started to butt heads more often than not as Julius became increasingly frustrated with Frederick trying to control his children’s lives without consulting them on what they actually wanted.

Julius wanted to be a paladin of the Temple of Pelor but swearing himself to a temple or church as either a paladin or a cleric would mean placing his loyalties to them ahead of his family. It would mean abdicating his position as heir and as such, he was never formally inducted as a paladin, though he did receive training as such.

Frederick probably would have allowed Julius to abdicate if Julius had fought about it (it wasn’t like he didn’t have plenty of options for heirs), but Julius conceded without much argument when he realized he’d be passing the burden of responsibility onto his unprepared siblings.

Vesper:

Vesper was very much her mother’s daughter and once got in trouble for headbutting a boy twice her size because he said something mean about Ludwig. She broke her own nose doing it, so Johanna set about teaching her better methods of fighting back.

Vesper was whip smart and extremely talented in the art of insulting someone in such a way that they didn’t realize they’d been insulted until 5 minutes later. She could run rings around any diplomat sent to Whitestone by the time she was 12.

Vesper was bisexual but with a strong preference for women. The first time Vesper ever truly fought with her father was when she found out he had organized a betrothal for her to a nobleman in Emon. Frederick, to his credit, had not been aware that Vesper preferred women and rescinded the betrothal when he found out, but Vesper pointed out that she had never hid that from him, he just hadn’t been paying attention.

Percy:

I strongly subscribe to @infanttreenotebook‘s idea that Percy’s manic-depressive mood swings first began manifesting as a teenager and his father did not cope well with them. When Percy was on and in full manic swing, Percy got along wonderfully with his father, happy to show him ideas and projects and things he had taught himself - but also perfectly happy to be left alone to work on those things when his father’s attention was elsewhere.

But every time Percy crashed, Frederick became concerned, not understanding why Percy’s work would abruptly grind to a halt. Unfortunately Frederick’s concern mostly manifested as him wanting Percy to go into a more stable (useful) field of work than tinkering. Shockingly, being told that his pursuits and interests were pointless and he should give them up did not improve Percy’s depressive moods.

Percy, at the time, had seen Anders as more of a father figure than his actual father. I don’t think I have to say much more about that.

Ludwig:

Ludwig, compared to his older siblings, was a bit on the dim side. He was far from stupid, but he lacked the brilliance that all three of his older siblings possessed.

Nicknamed “Lutz” when he was young, Percy gave him a lute one year for his birthday as a joke, but Ludwig was immediately fascinated with it. Ludwig couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket but with Anders’ direction, he became an accomplished musician.

To several other siblings frustration, Frederick was actually quite impressed with Ludwig’s musical talents despite all expectations that he would consider it a useless pursuit. He and Johanna acquired a piano for Ludwig on his birthday the next year. His siblings quickly got over their frustration when they realized that Ludwig was only too happy to play whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted, or provide accompaniment as they sang.

Ludwig lacked much in the way of ambition and would have been perfectly happy to marry whoever his father wanted him to marry, have a handful of kids, and spend the rest of his life idly composing music.

Oliver and Whitney:

If you had asked anyone outside the family, Oliver and Whitney got along like cats in a bag. They were a pair of rough and tumble boys (Whitney had not been assumed to be male at birth, but he made himself very clear as he grew up) who fought constantly, whether that was with snide commentary or actual fist fights in the garden. Any suggestions that they not hang out with one another if they disliked their twin so much were met with blank looks.

Gods forbid if you insulted one of them or one of their siblings because Oliver and Whitney would both ruin your entire life at the drop of a hat if they thought you deserved it. Both of them held grudges like no ones business and took offense at the smallest of slights. The two of them were the initiators of the great de Rolo prank war that lasted years and only ended when Johanna put her foot down after a prank pulled on Percy in his workshop ended with him being inadvertently set on fire.

The burns weren’t too bad and Julius healed him up, it was fine.

Both twins were ladies men and competed for the attention of any and every girl they met, though they had a habit of getting so competitive about it that they forgot the girl entirely to focus on besting the other.

To the chagrin of the rest of the family, Oliver and Whitney were the only two de Rolos with any serious magical talent. Julius could heal a bit and Ludwig’s music was enchanting, but the twins were almost aggressively magical and they rebuffed any and all attempts by their father to learn to control it.

If they had survived, they might have grown up to be intensely powerful wild magic sorcerers but Anders made sure the pair of them were killed quickly to prevent surprises. Despite being a mere 15 during the coup and high priority targets, the twins were responsible the deaths of quite a few attacking guards before they went down, spitting and hissing curses to the end.

Cassandra:

Cassandra, oh Cassandra. Johanna’s favorite child (no matter what Percy said), Cassandra had her mother’s wild heart and the desperate urge to explore everything. Cassandra knew every secret passageway in the entire castle, including a few that weren’t marked on any map or blueprint to ever exist.

Cassandra was a sneak from a very young age and would often appear abruptly in someone’s field of vision from seemingly out of nowhere and disappear just as quickly. Her parents and oldest siblings at first suspected that she was using magic like the twins, but Cassandra eventually confessed to Julius that she was simply very good at not drawing attention to herself.

Cassandra was an easily excited child who wanted to travel around the world one day and it seemed likely that she’d get the chance. She was, after all, the youngest of seven and was unlikely to ever have any serious responsibilities to her family or her city.

I should emphasize that Cassandra wanted to travel and see the world but had no plans to be an adventurer. She had no desire to get into fights and only took up swordplay at her mother’s insistence that she be capable of defending herself. Cassandra took little interest in it Sylas decided it would be amusing to train her.

holy shit ya’ll this post about a bunch of dead motherfuckers that we will literally never meet in canon broke 1500 words, what the heckles

#my crit role stuff #critical role #the de rolo family

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