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psychotic-spectrum · 7 years

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My experience with medications (long post ahead)

I’ve seen a lot of posts where people tell their experiences with psych meds, and since I’ve tried tons of them, I wanted to make my own post, and maybe help people in the process. All these experiences are individual and they might not be the same for other people, it’s just a guide.

My current diagnoses are BPD and schizophrenia-schizoaffective disorder. My previous misdiagnoses have been depression-anxiety, GAD, bipolar disorder type 2 and a dissociative disorder.

I’m gonna post the generic name of the medication and then the brand name, I’ll use the most popular brand name because in that way people would be able to identify them, but usually I use different brand names where I’m from.

Modafinil (Provigil) It was the first psych med I ever tried, a doctor friend of mine gave them to me after realizing I fell asleep everywhere, even sometimes standing up. At that time it was sold over the counter so I didn’t need a prescription. It was wonderful, I could have so much energy to work, to study, to go out at night, it was a life saver for me because that same year I started to study law and I was also working at the same time so it didn’t matter if I didn’t sleep because I still had energy and I could focus. I still use it today but the similar armodafinil.

Venlafaxine (Effexor) It was the first antidepressant I ever took, it was prescribed to me after I went to see a psychiatrist that had zero empathy and he diagnosed me with depression after talking for about ten minutes. I was really stressed when I saw him, but he decided I had depression even though I didn’t experience any symptoms of depression. He also gave me a “deal”, one box of Effexor and the next one free. Still I took it and it was terrible. I was sleepy as hell and nauseous, I couldn’t eat, I might‘ve lost at least a kilo in the month I took it, and it did nothing for my stress. I stopped taking it after a month and then I felt better.

Escitalopram (Lexapro) It was prescribed to me first by a GP after seeing my colon and stomach problems wouldn’t go away with medication, so she thought I needed something for my mood (I hadn’t been diagnosed with any mental illnesses at that time). It was kinda weird. It made me sleepy but I felt high, like as though I’ve been smoking weed, I felt pretty relaxed and I liked the effect, and I had no side effects. My friends said I talked weird, like a typical pothead, but it was the medication! I was on it for about a year.

Fluoxetine (Prozac) I was prescribed fluoxetine after a visit to another GP due to my colon problems, at that time, I had already seen a psychiatrist because I was in crisis and I had started self-harming (but I didn’t say it to her), she diagnosed me with GAD and increased my escitalopram. I was also seeing a psychologist on and off. When I went to see this GP, she said that fluoxetine was more effective than escitalopram for anxiety that caused my colon problems. Fluoxetine was great, I felt I had more energy, less appetite and I felt happier (by that time I already had mental health issues), but later when they prescribed fluoxetine for BPD, I was in such a high dosage that I started to feel numb, with no emotions. I remember seeing Steven Wilson, one of my favorite singers and feeling like I couldn’t cry with his songs. Later the dosage was reduced. I still take it nowadays but a low dosage. It helps.

Clonazepam (Klonopin) By the end of 2011 I was in a complete breakdown and I started having panic attacks. A doctor then prescribed me clonazepam and it was fantastic, I loved it. My anxiety was gone, I could do the things I wanted to do, concentrate, my mind wasn’t so active. It made me sleepy but it was tolerable. I stopped taking it because I grew a tolerance towards it.

Risperidone (Risperdal) OMG, I have a love-hate relationship with this medication. It was first prescribed for BPD, to control the self-harming urges. It was my first experience with antipsychotics. At first, I hated it, it made me really sleepy and foggy, it was hard to wake up, but I felt I improved a little. The downside? The weight gain. I could never get my pre-medication weight back. I’ve been on and off it since 2012, and now I take it every day for schizophrenia. It has done wonders for my psychotic symptoms, and I no longer feel foggy or extremely sleepy, I got used to it, and it works. It makes me more stable, so there’s no way I’m gonna go off this med, despite wanting to lose weight. It’s more important to be stable than thin. But the current side effects are: akathisia, zero sex drive and I stopped ovulating, so I can’t have kids right now (not that I’m looking for kids at the moment anyway)

Quetiapine (Seroquel)Oh boy how much I hate this drug. It was first prescribed after a psychiatrist changed my BPD diagnosis into bipolar disorder. At first, I was so unwell that I liked being almost unconscious from the drug. I couldn’t wake up on time, I fell asleep at work, everywhere I felt like I had no energy whatsoever. The year I was prescribed this med (2013) I started working two jobs and I had to take tons of coffee and modafinil to be able to perform in those jobs. I grew intolerant towards it, until one day, without asking my doctor, I simply stopped taking it, and I felt so good. I had energy again, I didn’t fall asleep everywhere, I didn’t need coffee 24/7, but I started experiencing weird psychotic symptoms. My doctor then decided to switch it to risperidone, but I was in such a low dose that didn’t help with my symptoms. But I was feeling fine so I didn’t really care at that time.

Lithium Since I was diagnosed as bipolar in 2013, my doctor said I should take lithium, I didn’t want at first, mainly due to the stigma associated with that drug. It was supposed to make me more stable, but I never felt stable with it. I also gained weight and I got acne. It did give me energy though, but since I took it with quetiapine, I didn’t really noticed it that much. I was on it for a year or more, until I went to the hospital and they stopped giving it to me, without knowing that my diagnosis was about to change.

Haloperidol (Haldol) I was first prescribed a low dosage after I started having auditory hallucinations, and it was great, the hallucinations stopped. Since I was only on 1 mg I didn’t have extrapyramidal effects and my muscles weren’t stiff. I stopped taking it later and replaced with a higher dosage of risperidone. When I was hospitalized, they started giving me 5 mg in the morning and 5 mg at night, and I felt completely numb. My brain had shut down. I had no motivation; I felt everything was plain, nothing excited me and also I had extrapyramidal effects. I felt dull, like my wits had gone. I took it the month after I left the hospital and I asked it to be switched to another antipsychotic. Now I take 1 mg prn when I feel psychotic and I haven’t had any side effects.

Lorazepam (Ativan) I started taking it at the hospital, they gave me 6 mg a day. I must admit that I love it. I feel my inhibitions are gone, I don’t feel so anxious, I have no problem showing my self-harm scars and it relaxes me as hell. But I get reaaaaly sleepy. I was supposed to take it when my anxiety was through the roof, but now I take it every day and I crave for it. I take 2 mg a day in the afternoons, and it makes me happy and high. I’ve become dependent on it and I don’t plan to change that.

Lamotrigine (Lamictal) When I was diagnosed bipolar, I took it as a mood stabilizer together with lithium. I didn’t experience many side effects, but I felt like the pill blocked any negative feelings, it’s like, a negative feeling popped into my mind and I could feel the lamotrigine blocking it. I took it for about two years.

Alprazolam (Xanax) When I grew tolerance towards clonazepam, I was prescribed alprazolam for anxiety. I took it every day and it made me feel really good, relaxed, and not as sleepy as with lorazepam. However, I also grew tolerant towards it so it was switched to lorazepam.

Aripiprazole (Abilify) I remember I went to see my psychiatrist almost crying for the gain weight I was getting from Risperidone, and I had done some research and read that aripiprazole was weight neutral. It is extremely expensive though, but I had insurance at that time so I didn’t care. I was only two weeks with it before my hospitalization. After I got my diagnosis of schizophrenia, and since I wanted to stop taking haldol, my doctor prescribed me the highest dosage of it (30 mg), but I still had to take risperidone. Even though it wasn’t that effective with psychotic symptoms, I felt no side effects while on it. I had to stop when I lost my job and my insurance, because I just couldn’t afford it.

Amisulpride (I don’t know the brand name) I don’t have much experience with it, only that I had to take it for a couple of weeks due to increased psychotic symptoms. It made me sleepy and foggy, I can remember.

Bupropion (wellbutrin) Being taking it since 2015, I like it a lot. It gives me energy and helps me to focus, at first I felt tachycardia as a side effect but it didn’t last long. Since I’m on so many meds, I can’t actually tell what it really does, only that it makes me feel good.

Armodafinil (Nuvigil) It was prescribed to me after I grew tolerant towards modafinil. The effect is quite similar, and I feel no side effects. Sometimes, if I’m too medicated with other things I can barely feel the effect. I think it’s more like a placebo to pretend I have energy.

And… that’s it I guess? My current meds are Risperidone 4,5 mg, Fluoxetine 30 mg, Bupropion 150 mg, Armodafinil 75 mg, Lorazepam 2mg, Haldol 1mg prn.

If you have any questions, just send an ask or reply to this post.

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factsaboutnewulifeketouncov-blog · 4 years

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