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simplefelicity · 4 months

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What I bought in 2023

this is the first in a series of posts in which i reflect on my 2023 from a financial perspective, using data from my financial journal.

initially i wanted to just list everything i paid for chronologically, but then i realized that data without analysis is not going to be much useful. so here is all i bought in 2024, divided in categories!

these are all unnecessary purchases (so no groceries, rent, etc).

material stuff

a kpop photocard. i’ve already talked about this, i think. there were a couple of months at the beginning of the year in which i desperately wanted to collect photocards of this particular kpop artist. i already had 2 but when i finally decided to buy this third one, i realized that i was quite underwhelmed. i do appreciate them and look at them from time to time but the itch to spend even more money on them disappeared. i’m glad i did buy it, though, because otherwise i would have spent months obsessively thinking about wanting to buy one. giving in once meant peace of mind afterward.

plastic reusable water bottle. kind of a fail. i would love to use it more, but i’d need to hand wash it (if i don’t want the water to taste like soap) and i just can’t be bothered. i’m sure i’ll use it while traveling. also, it was super cheap for a reason! the nozzle is too big and uncomfortable. oh well, you live and learn.

new passport photos. that was unfortunately necessary & they are horrible photos too. frustrating.

socks. i was on a trip and forgot to bring socks, so i had to buy some there.

jewelry box. got it secondhand on Vinted after much thought. i don’t have much of a jewelry collection (if any) but i’d like to. i also wanted to get rid of all the small boxes and condense everything in 1 place. which worked for a while, but then someone gifted me more boxes and i can’t get rid of those ones, so that was kind of a fail.

2 secondhand books. i seriously do not need more books (i own like 20 that i haven’t read yet) but i have already read & resold one book so i’m not bothered about it. my rules with book buying are: 1) only if it’s secondhand, 2) only one for every secondhand bookshop i visit, 3) only stuff from my TBR list (that’s a more flexible rule, though). i’d say that it pretty much worked.

1 manga volume. I've been collecting this series for years because i love the art but, i've come to realize, not so much the story. i've decided to not purchase the next volume and am debating whether to sell the whole series as well.

yarn. i bought yarn for a sweater, for socks (three times), and for a cardigan (and its pattern). all in all, i’m satisfied with this amount. knitting can get expensive but i only bought yarn for planned projects, used my stash for at least another small 5 projects and i don’t think i’ll have to buy sock yarn for a while! money wise, i only had one doubt. a friend who also crochets told me that the website i buy my garment yarn at is too expensive compared to others. i thought long and hard about it & finally remembered that my friend’s cheaper yarn is super itchy. which is fine for her, as she mostly crochets bags, but i don’t knit bags! i knit sweaters! i’m fine with my yarn being a bit pricier if it makes for a comfier sweater.

25 padded envelopes. i used them when i sell my stuff online. i bought them new but secondhand on Vinted for a good price.

gifts. i bought 1 gift for a birthday and 2 for graduations. at the end of the year i tried to be smart and knit 2 gifts, but then i had to pay for shipping anyway so it didn’t save me any money. still, you know. it’s gifts and it’s my friends and i won’t be cheap with them.

immaterial stuff & experiences

i ate out with friends 3 times this year. the other times we just met and sat on a bench and talked.

movie ticket for Barbie. my only cinema going experience this year. that’s depressing. i’d love to go more in 2024.

underground ticket. that one time i forgot my underground card. ugh.

subscription to one of the secondhand book-selling websites i use. it’s the only one i pay for and it’s only 2€ a year. basically, it allows you to list more than 50 books at a time. i have 63 right now, so i’ll have to pay again this year, but hopefully in 2024 i will sell enough books to get under 50 & not have to pay again in 2025 :D

a very small charity donation. i sold more books than usual that month and decided to contribute a little to (hopefully) make the world a better place. it felt really good and i would like to do it again in 2024. but i need to set some rules or i might end up donating all of my savings.

trips

i went on 3 trips this year.

i bought train tickets and meals while there. i didn’t have to pay for accommodation as thankfully i went to visit friends and stayed at their houses. i also bought some souvenirs (in moderation!), like a fridge magnet and a christmas tree ornament.

in conclusion & plans for next year

well, damn. i spent way less than i thought or expected! there were even 2 months in which i actually spent 0€. which i’m sure felt great at the time, but i quickly forgot about it & thought i'd never accomplish something like that, ever. queue to feeling guilty over spending money.

my only true indulgencies were while i was on a trip. and i remember feeling quite guilty about spending money while there, as well.

but that’s why i save money: to buy expensive yarn and enjoy myself while traveling. so why should i feel guilty about doing exactly that?

basically, i want to spend a bit more money next year if it will make my life easier or happier, without feeling guilty. I've tried to do that during december already but finding the balance between overspending and being a Scrooge is going to be tough.

#no buy 2023 #financial journey #no buy #financial journal #end of year #end of year review

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onegirlatelier · 5 years

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Scandinavian Spring, November 2018

I set my eyes on Laine issue #5 when I was visiting a yarn store in Copenhagen last summer, and this cardigan was so beautiful I knew I would make it someday. I was (and still am) always drawn to complex things, and whilst this piece wasn’t difficult, it certainly looked polished and delicate.

(The model’s smile and her pretty lace shirt might have helped, too—I should’ve known better, but who could resist?)

I had never knitted a garment with set-in sleeves before, and the design of this cardigan was sophisticated enough to present an exciting challenge as I learnt about how a knitted garment was supposed to fit on my body.

I have heard about the simplicity of Nordic knitting patterns on podcasts, and this certainly seemed to be reflected by the pattern instruction for this cardigan. At first I was confused by directions that told me to cast on or cast off, but not in which method. I knew enough to know that there were different methods, but not nearly enough to know which one was suitable, let alone which one I preferred. I am not complaining though—it was a research process as well as a joy to knit up this garment, which is exactly what I love both in work and in my hobbies.

The main pattern is lovely yet surprisingly simple. I could almost hear my maths teacher call it an elegant solution, and I fully agree. The cooperation of wool, alpaca, and mohair makes it light and fluffy like candy floss. A cardigan for a special occasion, certainly.

Pattern

Scandinavian Spring by Sus Gepard. A very relaxing pattern once I figured out the technical details concerning the edges. I spent about a month in late autumn last year knitting it. Every day I would do my BMAT practice questions in the afternoon, and then work on this cardigan for about two hours in the evening, before moving on to more science-related reading.

Yarn

Edge: Isager Alpaca 2 Eco #E0. 11g/55m.

Mohair lace: Rowan Kidsilk #634 Cream. 74g/618m.

Background colour: Isager Alpaca 2 #Sky. 60g/300m. This colour is so beautiful. It is a greyish purple, with red, blue, and yellow fibres. It has such depth that I feel I didn’t do it justice by placing it at the background.

The measurements include the amount of yarn used for a small piece of swatch.

The remaining yarns are weighed when I finished the cardigan last year. However, recently I cut off four pattern repeats of each sleeve respectively to shorten the sleeves (see modification), so the actual meterage of the mohair yarn and the background yarn should be a little bit less.

(Sky: see all those pretty colours?)

Modification

My gauge was different than what the pattern asked for stitch-wise. I got 24sts per 9cm, which was 1cm shorter than the standard. I casted on four more sts for the back and two more sts for each front piece. Row-wise I was fine.

I used 2.75mm and 3.5mm needles as suggested. The newly knitted cuffs were done with a 2.50mm needle, but 2.75mm should also be fine. I did have to knit very loosely, especially with the larger needle, to get close to the gauge. I used a 3.75mm needle for the purl row between ribbing and main body just so the edge wouldn’t curl up.

I knitted the body pieces flat, and sleeves in magic loop. In hindsight, I could’ve knitted the bodice in one piece up until the armseye, and worked separately from there.

Cast on and cast off: Italian 1*1 rib cast on and 1*1 rib cast off. Some instructions for Italian 1*1 rib cast off says to leave a tail that’s three times the length of the finished border. I think two and a half is sufficient.

For the bottom edge of the cardigan, since 1*1 rib cast on requires two additional stabilising rows, I used the second stabilising row as the first rib pattern row in the pattern. Then after this I worked 5 more so that the last row of ribbing would be worked on the right side.

When the pattern stated ‘every X row’, I interpreted it to be the last row of every group of X rows. It seem to be the right guess.

When casting off for armseye: I did it on the 1st row (RS) of the 14th pattern repeat. Cast off for shoulder from 5th row (RS) of the 25th pattern repeat. I knitted 26 pattern repeats in total for each piece.

When decreasing for neckline in the front, I began at 7th row of 15th repeat, and dec at every 3rd and 7th rows, 23 decs in total.

The pattern instructed to dec for armseye at the very start and end of the row. However, it was sometimes aesthetically pleasing to dec 1 st before the last stitch. I adjusted between ssk and k2tog for both start and end of row decs. In general, I decided which technique to use as I went, to make it more invisible in the weave pattern yet easy to pick up or sew.

I used bias cast off for the shoulder seams to be smoother. There are many tutorials online so you can easily find one if you search ‘bias bind off’ or ‘bias cast off’. I also learned to cast off at the end of a row by making a loop with the yarn and carrying the loop at the back of stitches. I used a combination of these two techniques.

For the back piece, I forgot that the stitch count included one knit stitch at every start and end of row, making it difficult to pick up stitches. It turned out alright, though.

Sleeve length adjustment: I think the sleeves are designed to be long, which certainly looks great, but not too practical. They add extra weight and pull the armseye seam down too. So several months after finishing the cardigan, I decided to cut off four pattern repeats on each sleeve. I counted four pattern repeats from the cuff, and used a needle to pick up the stitches on the 7th row of the 4th repeat as this row was clearer. After counting and making sure that I picked up the right number of stitches, I cut off the cuff from about the 3rd or 4th row of the 4th repeat. The texture of mohair and alpaca meant that the fabric wouldn’t unravel easily, but by leaving one or two extra rows it basically wouldn’t matter even if it were to unravel at some point. After this, I knitted one round and did seven rows in 1*1 rib before casting off.

Finished Measurements

I didn’t measure accurately, so there are approximations.

Bust circumference (there is no bust or waist shaping): a bit more than 80cm

Body length: about 50cm, possibly shorter

Sleeve length doesn’t matter—I improvise every time anyway.

Wear & Tear

I have no idea since it has never been worn outside. It is very delicate, and not very practical against the wind judging considering the extremely loose gauge, so I suspect it is not meant to be worn like an everyday cardigan anyway. I’m looking forward to wearing it, even though I am really worried about cleaning it. (Which is okay, I am used to worrying about cleaning after a few years in couture sewing.)

Further Considerations

The cut-off parts of the cuffs are not unraveling any time soon, and frogging mohair is a real pain, so I think I will incorporate them into a part of wrist warmers.

If I were to make it again, I would use the X size and do adjustments accordingly. I would make the bodice at least 5cm (so two to three pattern repeats) longer.

I would pick a background yarn that either is a solid colour or comes with strong colour contrast. Most of the background yarn is hidden behind mohair fibres, so it’s difficult to see any nuance.

#scandinavian spring #knitting #knitblr #stories #Isager Strik

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faithfulcat111 · 6 years

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Temper Temper

Word count: 2236

Summary: “Gryffindors are also known to have short tempers, which I think could apply to both of you.” “Shut up!” “Falsehood!” Roman and Logan’s constant arguing is driving everyone else insane and as they say desperate times call for desperate measures.

AN: Firstly, I haven’t written anything not for school in two years, so this is quite terrifying to post. Secondly, I know I pull everyone slightly out of character, but this is a nightmare. Would you act like your normal self in this sort of situation? Thirdly, the song used in this story can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKBpRXE6vdg&t=0s&index=13&list=PLXeAA0aPO7RUH7er2UN9BwMpbawhXX9Z1

If I tagged you, it is because I think this might I admire your writing and I feel like this might be something you enjoy and I trust you not to be super harsh in any critiques: @triceratop-hat, @nyxwordsmith, @youtuberswithalex .

Trigger warnings: Body horror, Deceit (if you can think of anything else, let me know)

Logan blinked his eyes open, everything blurry around him. “Ugh,” he moaned, putting a hand to his aching head. Where was he? What happened? He tried to think, but his head….

A moan from somewhere nearby had Logan turning his head to the left. He could vaguely see his glasses next to him and he reached out for them and put them on. Only then could he see that he was laying in a bed with Roman curled up in the bed on the other side of a chest, his own head in his hands.

“Roman?” he called out and Roman looked up at him, squinting. He looked... strangely young. He wasn’t wearing his usual prince regalia, but instead a loose red shirt and black pants.

“Logan, what happened? What are you wearing?” Roman pushed himself into a sitting position.

Logan looked down on himself, wearing a dark blue shirt and black pants like Romans, but with a black bolo tie. The two crawled out of their individual beds and Logan was immediately peeved that it seemed that he had shrunk to a full head shorter than Roman. “How in the name of Crofters did this happen Roman? Did you do something?”

“Me!” Roman cried back. “I can quite assure you that I had nothing to do with this mess! What about you? You seemed quite angry before all this,” Roman trailed off as the two remembered their fight. They had been arguing about what? Thomas? His future? The details were fuzzy, but one thing was clear: the fight had gotten pretty nasty. Which wasn’t that unusual for the two of them. They had been told off several times by all the others, including Thomas that they needed to stop letting their tempers get the better of them. Last time Deceit even had to intervene in his own strange way, but, as always, the promises to stop never lasted.

A low beat started to sound in the background as the shadows of the dark room started to shift around them. The two quickly stepped back-to-back. “Who is out there?” Roman’s voice echoed through the room, “We’re not scared of you!”

“I kind of am,” Logan whispered, his heart beating. The situation vaguely reminded him of some of the nightmares that were drummed up by Thomas’s subconscious.

“Shut up!” Roman hissed back, but not before low giggling sounded through the room as the beat grew louder. “What is happening?” he tried again. “Where are we? We-I don’t understand. This isn’t our doing!”

“I’m sure you don’t, Roman,” a voice suddenly came from the far side of the room as the two whipped towards it. “You and Logan think you have nothing to learn, but you don’t understand the simplest things.” A figure stepped out of the shadows.

“Thomas!” the two cried out. The figure simply twitched a slight smile. He certainly looked like Thomas, wearing his clothes from earlier that day, but they were stitched up strangely with thick black thread. His face was extremely pale, his eyes dark, and he was a good head taller than Roman alone.

“Why are you so big?” Logan asked, confusion filling his face.

“You’ll find out,” another voice came from behind them. The two turned to see Remy sitting on the chest that had been moved at some point to the end of the beds with two chairs in front of them. If Thomas looked strange, Remy looked absolutely mental. His jacket was gone, but he still had the strange stitching, only directly on his arms around his elbows. His sunglasses looked to be grown directly into his face and his arms were twisted strangely around his back.

“Children who lose their temper will lose everything else in the end,” Thomas added as the shadows continued to shift around them.

“Children!” Logan could feel the anger beginning to bubble again, but Roman snatched his wrist.

“I think there is something wrong. This seems familiar, but I can’t quite put my finger on where I’ve seen this before,” Roman put his head down in hands trying to think.

Logan looked around as the other figures slowly emerged. The other sides and what looked like Thomas’s friends, all strange, demented versions of themselves. They slowly started to walk in a circle around the two, slowly chanting about temper as the strange version of Thomas started to sing.

“Temper, temper caught you at last. Your quick temper went a bit fast. This is a place of woe.”

“I got it!” Roman started to exclaim, but was quickly cut off by Logan grabbing his wrist and saying, “I think we need to leave now.”

Roman looked around in shock at the strange creatures and nodded. The two ran through the circle at the red door against one side of the room. They tried the door, but the knob was stuck fast. Behind them, Thomas continued to sing, “This is the place where all wicked children go.”

The two turned towards the room as the figures gathered around them. “Let us go back home!” Roman cried as his hand continued to jiggle at the unbudging knob behind him.

One of the figures near the front, a copy of Joan with their clothes badly stitched together hanging off their body, gave a grin as they said, “This is your home now.”

Hands reached out and grabbed Roman and Logan, pulling them back towards the center of the room. The strange creatures continued to sing around them, “Temper, temper, that was your crime. We’ve been watching you for some time. We knew that you’d appear. We knew your temper tantrums would lead you here.”

“Stop leave us alone!” Roman shouted as he tried to twist out of the grip of the strange Joan.

“Roman, you said you might know what is going on. Would you care to share now?” Logan asked as the two were pushed down into the chairs.

“Pray silence for the judge!” Remy called out to the whole room as the strange creatures all stood in various creepy positions around the room watching the two in the middle with vacant looks and twisted grins.

Logan shot back up to his feet staring up at Remy in defiance. “What judge?” he managed to hiss out before being pushed back down into his seat.

Remy gave them one last grin before turning his back to the two, revealing his twisted arms being held in unnatural positions by knotted yarn, “All rise!” Everyone in the room, including Logan and Roman, stood up straight, although Logan and Roman were immediately pushed back down into their seats.

“Temper, temper, silence in court,” a voice behind them began to sing. They both slowly looked over their shoulders to see Patton standing on the chest behind him. He was pale like everyone else in the room, but his eyes had been swapped out for brown speckled buttons and his cardigan had been replaced by a long black cape draped over his shoulders with little care to stay on. This strange Patton looked down at both of them in an almost mechanical way as he continued to sing, “Is this not the story you thought? You have to stand on trial. You will not see your friends for quite some time.”

“Roman,” Logan murmured just loud enough for the other side to hear, the fear from earlier starting to creep into voice. He couldn’t get his heart to stop pounding due to the strange situation. It wasn’t rooted in any reality he knew and while Thomas’s subconscious could conjure up some strange creations, this was beyond anything he had previously experienced.

“Children who refuse to learn will not return,” the creatures around them started to chant before being cut off by Patton.

“Are you Logan and Roman Sanders?” he said.

“Yes and we need to get home! Thomas needs us,” Roman begged.

“Not anymore,” the figure by Logan that resembled Talyn with faded hair and clothes spoke, “You are at destiny’s crossroads.”

Roman gasped, but before he could say anything, Patton continued, “You stand accused of the wanton loss of a most important commodity. Namely your temper!”

“I really think we could start calling it temper considering I don’t have one,” Roman muttered, trying to keep quiet.

“That is a falsehood if I’ve ever heard one,” Logan muttered back, having caught what Roman had said.

Roman shot him a glare, but before he could argue Remy shouted, “Call the first witness!”

“Call the first witness!” the call was taken up by Joan next, followed by Talyn before the crowd that had gathered in front of Roman and Logan parted, revealing Thomas standing slightly in front of Virgil. As he stepped to the side, they could see that Virgil’s eyes held the same vacant look as the other twisted creatures in the room, his arms held crookedly like the mechanical ballerina of a music box. The hood of his hoodie was up, the patchwork is all the wrong places, and his dark makeup resembled that of Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas, including the dark stitching around his lips with what seemed to be loose strings.

One could slightly see the glint of a pair of scissors in Thomas’s hand before Virgil stepped forward, his movements almost jerky as he began to sing as well, “Temper, temper, think of the cost of a temper once it’s been lost. You cannot get it back. It’s no excuse to say that your mood was black.”

The creatures around them began hissing out, “Black,” as Thomas called out, “Call the surprise witness!”

“Call the surprise witness!” the call was taken up by both Joan and Talyn this time followed one last time by Remy, whose arms had been cut free.

“Surprise!” a gleeful shout came from the corner as Deceit popped out of a box that was previously hidden by the strange creatures. Screams came from everyone as he laughed. Deceit looked strangely the most normal having already looked like some sort of twisted creature before. He looked up at Patton before pointing an accusing finger at them, “I saw them, your Honour. They were fighting over Thomas!”

“Go on,” Patton prompted from behind them.

“And,” Deceit paused for a breath before wailing, “And they tore his arm! Again!”

Both Roman and Logan whipped their heads towards Thomas who was standing a short distance in front of them, a dark look in his eyes. He had one hand barely covering the strange stitching on one of his arms as everyone around them let out cries of despair. The dark chant of, “Children who refuse to learn will not return,” was taken up again. Deceit gave a wicked grin, his yellow eye glinting, as he lowered himself back into his box.

“We need to get out of here, now!” Roman whispered and the two shot to their feet running as fast as they could towards the door, but were stopped quite suddenly. Before they could regain their bearings, both Virgil and Remy ran past them in opposite directions, effectively trapping them in what seemed to be a long piece of black fabric. The creatures all leapt forward gleefully, taking up each end of the fabric, pulling back and forth in some sort of twisted game of tug-of-war. Roman grabbed at the fabric in front of him, trying to pull it out of the grasp of the creatures while Logan tried to loosen it from the other side. But as the creatures continued, the fabric grew tighter and the two were yanked back and forth.

All at once, right before it became too much, all the creatures suddenly stopped and moved mechanically to stand in front of Patton in a line. When they let go, both Roman and Logan collapsed to the floor and they started working to untangle themselves from the fabric. “Roman, this is closer to your department. How are we getting out of this? Any ideas in that half-filled brain of yours?” Logan straightened his glasses, trying to keep the overwhelming feeling of fear down.

Roman who was pushing the last of the fabric aside nodded, “Yes, we need-” before being cut off again.

“What is your verdict?” Patton looked up and down the line of strange creatures, his movements stiff.

As one, the entire line lifted their right arms and pointed at Roman and Logan, “Guilty.”

The two stood up as Patton continued, “You stand there bold as brass. You face the stiffest sentence this court can pass.”

“Children who refuse to learn will not return,” the dark chant was taken up again.

“The beds,” Roman grabbed Logan’s arm and pointed at the beds still behind the line of creatures.

“What?”

“Look, I’ll explain when we get out of here, but as soon as we move, this room will break out into chaos. We need to get back into the beds and wake up from this nightmare,” Roman’s eyes were darting up and down the line.

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Logan argued.

“Just do it,” Roman shoved Logan forward and sure enough, the room broke out into chaos as the creatures started running around in absolute madness. Roman and Logan ran towards the beds, avoiding being caught and dived into their beds. Logan watched Roman dive under his covers and did the same. One last distorted laugh sounded through the room before silence returned.

AN: Will I ever write anything worth posting again? Probably not, so enjoy this little piece I couldn’t get out of my mind all day yesterday.

#faith writes #sanders sides #roman sanders #logan sanders #body horror #i don't know how to tag stories #gahhhhhhhhhhhhh #um #temper temper

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amymel86 · 7 years

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Not How It Was Meant To Happen - part 4/5 - Jon x Sansa

Jon's not quite sure what he's done wrong - apart from ruin her life by knocking her up, you idiot - but Sansa has definitely been avoiding him lately.

Sure, they still go grocery shopping together and Jon attends all the baby related appointments and antenatal classes, but he finds himself alone in their lounge most evenings whilst Sansa secludes herself to her room. They don't even eat their evening meal together and Jon can't remember the last time she laid a sleepy head on his shoulder or lap to watch tv together. He misses that.

The only reason that Jon can think would cause this distance between them is the very thing he hoped Sansa had not noticed - his utter depravity.

He can't help it - the staring. His eyes are constantly being pulled to the roundness of her belly and the swell of her breasts. He's not forgotten all the other aspects of Sansa that used to fuel his dreams either - her long shapely legs, glittering blue eyes, perfectly shaped rosy lips and all that glossy copper hair - but these new admirations - they are there because of him, and it makes him feel oddly possessive and equally aroused.

He'll never admit to liking the way they look together, - on the odd occasion that they do venture out of the apartment as a twosome. Sansa's pregnant state is like a non verbal warning to all other men - back off, she's mine...even though she isn't.

Jon tries not to think too closely about what type of man that train of thought makes him.

Like she is a piece of land that Jon has raised his flag upon and staked his claim.

But Sansa is not that piece of land to be owned and claimed - she is an intelligent, witty, driven and caring woman. Jon knows this. He knows it to his core, and yet the caveman part of his brain often overrules him of late.

He wonders if other men look at her growing curves and feel the same tight feeling of carnal want that he does? Maybe they don't, maybe it's sparked something primal with in him because Sansa is carrying HIS child? Maybe they do? And in that case, Jon is completely willing to break a few noses.

Either way, he's a little ashamed at just how often he cums in his hand by imagining a pregnant Sansa riding his cock....He feels especially guilty when the crying starts.

It's normal, she tries to tell him with red puffy eyes. Just hormones wreaking havoc, she says with a sniff and a forced watery smile. But Jon can't help but think that there's more to it.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry Jon" Sansa sniffles and snorts one time when he finds her balled up on the couch, hugging her knees to her chest, her face wet with tears and snot.

"Sorry for what, Sansa"? Jon says in the softest voice he could muster, feeling like he wanted to cry himself, looking at her lashes, wet with tears.

"For what I've done....the mistake" she whispered in a shaky, gasp of a voice.

"....I don't...what do you mean, love"?

"Getting pregnant...all of it" she says so quietly it's as if she mouths it, her eyes fixed on the carpet.

"Getting pregnant"? Jon repeats "...why are you-....that was both of us Sans...I'm...I'm sorry too...it's not ideal, but it was both of us, we both made that baby...please don't be sorry, don't shoulder any blame" Jon curls one hand over her knee in what he hopes is a comforting gesture.

Sansa moves her eyes to try to meet his - except that they don't. She's not looking at him, she's looking through him, as one side of her mouth is forced to quirk upwards slightly to mimic something close to a smile. She blinks rapidly as if the movement would seal off her tear ducts and takes a quick, large suck of a breath. "I think I'll have a bath".

And just like that, she moves away from Jon, leaving him concerned on the couch as he listens to the thunder of water rushing from the taps in the bathroom.

Jon worries himself about Sansa's episodes of sadness so much that after one of her antenatal appointments, he makes an excuse to leave her side for a brief moment in order to corner a midwife to ask what he could do. Depression during pregnancy can be quite common, he's told, as the plump, motherly woman jots down a dedicated helpline number to pass on to Sansa.

"Here" he says, once they'd both buckled up in his car, ready for the journey home, handing her the yellow post-it note with the number on it. "A midwife gave it to me...its for if you want to talk to someone about how you're feeling....you know...ah...emotions and things".

Sansa doesn't say anything. Just nods and sticks the yellow square to his glove compartment door. She turns to her window which is littered with raindrops and has steamed up on the inside. Sansa idly draws little hearts on the foggy glass. She does that a lot, and Jon normally finds himself smiling when past hearts reappear each time it's cold out. Sansa spends the whole car journey gazing out of the window and stroking her now very round belly. Jon wishes he could just casually reach out and touch it too, maybe cover her hand with his and never let go.

*******

Sansa's busying herself with something new one day when he comes home from work. She's there on the sofa with needles and soft mint green wool, the tip of her tongue touching her top lip in concentration.

"I've taught myself to knit"! She exclaims breezily, not looking up from the click clack of needles. "Well - YouTube taught me how to knit really" her eyes flicker up to Jon with a smile that he'd not seen on her face for such a long time.

Jon grins back at her, just plain happy that she's happy.

He catches sight of what she's already made, laid out on the sofa next to her. Two little booties and a hat. "Sans! Did you make those today"?!

"Yea - those were easy. I'm doing a cardigan next"! She beams up at him before holding up the knitting pattern for him to see.

"You learnt how to do this today"?

"I've got a lot of time on my hands Jon... and I can't stand doing nothing all day, so I took at trip to the craft store first thing this morning".

Jon sits down and picks up one of the little booties, it was white and had a little blue ribbon thread through it at the ankle, tied into a bow.

"I've got pink ribbon too...to swap out if it's a girl".

"They're so small" he croaks, fingering the soft wool.

"So will our baby be" Sansa smiles.

He likes it when she says stuff like that - our baby - reminding him that whatever they are to each other, there will always be this something, this one thing, this little person that will link them together permanently. Our baby.

"I wish I could do more" Jon says, causing Sansa to still her needles and look up at him in question. "For the baby...I can't make stuff like this Sansa, you're great at stuff like this" he says, his fingers brushing over the turned up rim of the little hat.

"You do plenty Jon"! Sansa says forcefully "you found this apartment for us, you've bought the crib and things....and you'll be shouldering the rent alone after my maternity pay stops....until I get a new job".

"You don't have to if you don't want to...get another job that is".

"I don't want my career to ground to a halt Jon" she starts up the knocking of needles and looping of yarn again, her hands moving in an irritated fashion as she scowls at her slowly forming creation.

Jon brings his attention back to the little woollen boot in his hand. He clears his throat for words unknown. Sansa had always been focussed on what she had wanted to do, always been career minded. She'd had a couple of temp contracts with different magazines, shadowing writers and editors and generally being the office assistant, but she longed to be the one doing the writing herself, to put her Journalism degree to good use. Jon had never had that amount of focus in his life.

Until now.

Jon felt Sansa's eyes on him again, the noise of her knitting slowing down to a silent stop. He looked up to meet her gaze.

"Would you like to do some"?

He stares back at her, perplexed. Sansa smiles in return.

"The next few rows are a simple knit....you could do a couple for me if you like"?

"You think I could knit"?

"I know you can" Sansa replies, scooting close to be side-by-side, her thigh touching with Jons. She raises her needles out in front of her, all her previous work hanging from one of them. Glancing at him with an encouraging smile, Sansa proceeds to show Jon the proper loop, hook and pull of a stitch. She repeats the action three times and then hands him her work. She guides his hands and yarn for the first stitch but soon backs away, returning to the cozy corner of the sofa he found her in. Jon can feel her eyes on him even through his concentration.

Sansa giggles as Jon is nearing the end of the row of knitting. "Well I never thought knitting could be hot, but you've somehow managed to pull it off"!

Jon glances up at her, only a single beat of a second slips by before he beams back at her mischievous look.

"Even with that little tongue poke you do" Sansa chuckles.

"Tongue poke"?

"Yea... when you're really concentrating, you poke your lil' tongue out to the side like this".

Sansa mimics him and Jon thinks that there's no way that he looks as adorable as she does right now.

"I don't do that" he shakes his head happily. He doesn't mention that Sansa does something similar, he likes that she's unaware of it.

"You so do".

After their shared laughter drifts out of their grasp, there's an inkling of awkwardness to the silence that replaces it. Sansa picks at imaginary fluff on her leggings.

"How's Ygritte"?

"You know Ygritte"? He asks, genuinely confused and taken aback by the sudden question.

"She introduced herself that time I missed you for lunch" Sansa shrugged.

"She's fine, she's fine..." Jon nods "settling in well at work...she already knows a lot about the tools we sell, so she's pretty good at advising people on those".

"That's good" Sansa responds, forcing herself to look at Jon and give him a smile. Her eyes betraying the sunny farce.

"Is everything alright Sans"?

"Oh yes" she says quickly, nodding far too enthusiastically, before alighting the sofa. "I'm going to start dinner, do you think you could do three more rows of knitting, just like that"? Sansa calls over her shoulder, not waiting to hear his response before she disappears in the direction of the kitchen.

****************

Two Weeks Later

Being a manager has many perks, Jon realises, as he yet again avoids Ygritte at work by locking himself away in his office while she's on the shop floor with Grenn.

He could have chalked up her flirtatious behaviour to either it just plainly being part of her character or his own over-active imagination....if it weren't for the conversation he had with Grenn last week....

"She's after you I reckon".

"Who"?

"The other redhead in your life - the one you haven't knocked up"

Jon rolls his eyes. "Ygritte? She's not 'in my life'....I just work with her".

"Ah-huh" Grenn nods, rubbing his jaw whilst keeping his eyes trained on Jon. "You'd better tell her that".

"You're being ridiculous" Jon muttered to himself before raising the level of his voice. "Why on earth would she be interested? She knows I live with Sansa".

"Just 'live with'"? Grenn raises an eyebrow. "Nothing more going on between you and your baby-mama"?

Jon ignored his friends question with a grunt before turning his back on him to busy himself by changing a till roll. He hears Grenn's quiet chuckle behind him.

"Ok...so maybe I have noticed that she's....overly friendly with me sometimes...how do I let her know I'm not interested"?

"Fire her"? Grenn shrugs.

"Yes, that sounds fair" Jon snorts sarcastically.

"I dunno bossman....but the way that little firecracker stares at you sometimes?...." Grenn shudders "it's fucking intense man...in a lock-your-pet-bunny-away-safely kinda way, you know"?

After bumbling about in his office, managing to stretch out all of the paperwork he could possibly do, Jon heads to the stock room with a print out of a spreadsheet to do a stocktake.

He's in there, in the small, dark room, in amongst storage shelves, counting boxes of nails when he hears the door open and click closed again.

"So this where you're hiding" Ygritte says in a cheery tone.

Jon glances at her nervously, gives her a perfunctory smile and turns back to his stocktake. He somehow manages to finish his counting of one particular size of nail and takes the pencil out from behind his ear to jot down the number - all while he can feel her eyes blazing hot on his back.

"How's Sansa"?

Jon starts at her question, turning around to Ygritte, unable to stop the glare from leaving his eyes.

"She's fine" he says curtly.

"It's very good of you, you know" she purrs, stalking closer "letting her live with you".

"She's having my baby Ygritte, it's the least I could do" Jon replies, starting to turn back to face the shelves before Ygritte places a hand in his arm to stop him.

"But you didn't need to...you're a good man".

Jon looks down at her hand, feeling it scorch through his skin, branding his bones and marrow. "No....anyone would do that...anyone should do that, if they're in my situation....it's about being decent, not good....besides-" he raises his eyes to glare directly back at Ygritte "I would do anything for Sansa...for Sansa and the baby".

Ygritte's smile falters ever so slightly before she regains control of herself. "Your situation?...what situation is that, Jon"?

Jon shrugs his arm away from her touch and moves to face her square on. "What are you getting at Ygritte"?

"All I'm saying is..." she leans in closer, talking deliberately slowly "perhaps you'd like...a different kind of situation"? On her last words she quickly closes the gap and presses her demanding lips to his.

"What the hell you doing"?! He demands as he rears backwards, knocking into a shelving unit.

"Come on Jon" she steps forward, stroking his chest.

"No. Ygritte"

"Don't let this one little thing ruin your life" she says, hooking her hands around his neck and pushing herself into him making Jon feel penned in. "Kiss me Jon".

"No! I don't want this...I don't want you like that Ygritte"!

"Fine! Go back home to your precious mistake"!

"Mistake"?! Jon pushes her back by the tops of her arms, shaking her a little whilst lowering his head to level their eye-lines "have you said something to Sansa"?

Ygritte keeps quiet, the only sound in the small room being Jon's ragged breaths as he feels his anger rapidly rising "HAVE YOU"?! He yells, his grip on her arms must be painful by now. Ygritte just smirks in response.

"Do you know what Ygritte"? Jon says, deciding he'll get no answers from her by shaking her to death, "you're still within your probationary period - consider your employment with Castle Black Hardware terminated". Jon pushes past her and stalks out of the room, not seeing the confused look of panic on Ygritte's face as he slams the door shut behind him.

Jon strides out to the shop floor, past Grenn at the till without comment and straight out to the pavement outside. Taking in a large slow drag of fresh air, he closes his eyes and then scrubs a hand down his face.

His levels of irritation reach new peaks as his phone buzzes in his pocket.

"What"?! He answers angrily, not looking at who was calling.

"Jon...its the baby...I think something's wrong" Sansa sobs on the other end of the line.

#jonsa #jon x sansa #jon x sansa fanfiction #jonxsansaff #jonsa fan fiction #jonsa fic #jonsa fanfic #jonsaff #jonsansaff #jonsan fic #not How It Was Meant To Happen #pregnant sansa

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knittinginfrance · 7 years

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Hi there how are you today? it’s raining cats and dogs here in Normandy this morning. It almost feels like winter is coming back and they have predicted this kind of weather for the rest of the week I think. Funny how gloomy weather can sometimes affect your mood at least on weekdays. Because yesterday, Sunday, it was the same and I wasn’t bothered at all! In fact I spent almost the entire day knitting! Maybe a little too much time to be quite honest because my hands felt a bit sore by the time I went to bed.

But March is a very heavily busy month knitwise. It hadn’t started out as such but as we got closer to the end of February, beginning of March the projects just piled on.

But before I share those with you let me show you my two Fos.

First off is a pair of socks that I was test knitting for my friend and designer Dana Gervais. The pattern is called Good Karma and will be a for sale pattern on Ravelry in the near future.

The pattern is fun to knit and quite intuitive. It’s a mirrored pattern which means that the pattern is placed differently on each sock so that they mirror each other. I managed to knit them quite quickly as I had big plans coming up and absolutely wanted and needed to get them done in time.

I used one of my newer bases which I call POP. It’s a merino/donegal nepp tweed yarn. And what is especially fun with this tweed yarn is that the nepps are multi colored instead of just plain black as usually. I have knit socks out of this yarn before and I really love both knitting with it and the finished project. So here are some pictures of my finished socks.

Good Karma by Dana Gervais knit in POP by Knitting in France

A close up of Good Karma by Dana Gervais knit in POP by Knitting in France

They look really nice even if I say so myself! I’m taking a break from test knitting socks this month due to my heavy workload but I really look forward to doing it again.

My second finished object is a shawl that I started on January 1st 2017. This was part of the brioche challenge hosted by Louise Tilbrook Designs. I did choose a pattern that was not all brioche thinking it would go quicker although just from looking at the pattern pictures, I could see that it is quite big. Well, I got sidetracked needless to say and I only just finished last week. I knit this using two of my yarns in my SOX base and two other yarns. And it is huge! I haven’t blocked the shawl yet and frankly I don’t know if I will. Maybe I’ll just lightly steam block it before giving it away because yes I’m going to gift it to someone special. Shh not saying just in case she reads my blog.

The shawl I’m babbling about is the Briochealicious shawl by Andrea Mowry. It is a mix of brioche and garter stitch so quite a relaxing knit and I really did enjoy knitting on it. I can even see myself knitting a second one that I would keep. But here’s a picture – although you can’t see it in its entirety because of the size.

Briochealicious shawl by Andrea Mowry knit by Knitting in France

Briochealicious shawl by Andrea Mowry being modelled by myself aka Knitting in France

Yes that’s me modelling the shawl :)

And now onto current works in progress. I can show you two but one is a secret test knit. I was contacted by a relatively new designer that I love. I have knit one of her sweaters, the Kitsune sweater. And I already have a cardigan of hers on the needles although I’m still at the very beginning there. Well so she contacted me and asked I was willing to test knit a new cardigan and once I saw the picture there was no turning back! So of course I said yes please! It is gorgeous! However she has asked us test knitters not to share any pictures until the pattern has been released so I won’t be able to show you anything for the moment. I’m knitting it on my SPARKLES base in a teal colorway and I think it will be amazing. I have one month to finish so that is part of the reason why I say March is a heavily busy knit month.

The first wip I can share, is the Snowmelt shawl by Helen Stewart of the Curious Handmade. This is a mystery kal and the last clue came out last Thursday. I have begun knitting on that clue but I won’t be able to continue until I finish my all consuming wip that I’ll tell you all about in a moment. So I’m knitting this shawl out of a new base of mine that I call Back to Basics. It’s a non superwash merino fingering yarn and it is gorgeous. I was hesitant to order non superwash fingering but I do not regret it. In fact I want to order much more. I love the fact that non superwash items do not grow so I think it will be perfect for garment knitting and I have a ton of sweaters and cardigans I want to knit using this base. But back to the shawl. I had heard Helen’s recommendations on the yarn before hand and so I dyed up 3 skeins just for this project and I’m really happy with the outcome and how they work together. This is a half pi shawl and I think it is the first time I knit one of those or if I have before, then it was ages ago because I don’t remember it. Here’s a picture of where I’m at now – I do want to finish soon so I can enter it into the FO thread in her Ravelry group for a giveaway.

Snowmelt shawl by Helen Stewart of Curious Handmade knit in Back to Basics by Knitting in France

I’m really happy with my choice of colors and I look forward to finishing the shawl.

And now onto the all consuming wip! I told you last time, I think, that I was participating in the Sock Madness competition for the second time this year. Well it has just began. The first pattern was released late Thursday night so I only got to cast on and do one cuff on that very first day but I have been knitting on this non stop since then. The first round is a qualifying round and we have 14 days to finish the pair. The faster you finish the better of course and that will also determine in which team you end up. The teams are composed of knitters that knit at similar speeds so although there are hundreds of knitters partaking in the competition you are only every competing against the members of your team so people of similar speed. That is great because it gives everyone a chance to participate. Last year I ended up in the second to fastest team I think which was quite stressful and makes me think maybe I should not try so hard to finish asap this time around but I can’t help myself. I really want to finish them at lightning speed and also when I browse the chatter and FO threads I realise that there are so many knitters that either are way speedier knitters than I am or have way more time because I’m not the fastes. Of course I’m not way behind either.

This first pattern, Twisted Madness, is not a complicated one but it is very time consuming and hard on the hands because it is basically an all over cable pattern. That makes progress slow and it just eats up yarn. There are minimum requirements so each time I have to knit the socks to my size or for my oldest to meet those and for this first pair one skein of fingering yarn is not enough. After knitting to the heel on the first sock I was seriously worried so one of the moderators told me to cast on for the second one and knit to the same place and then make a decision on if I had enough to finish or if I should change yarns. And so I did, I knit the second sock to the heel turn and then decided to turn the heel on both socks in my current yarn. After that I only had 40 gr left and I’m pretty sure I would not have had enough to finish and as we are not allowed to do contrasting heels, toes and cuffs I could not knit to the toe and then change yarns so I thought after the heel would be good spot to change.

I hesitated between yarns. My yarn was a turquoise with some yellow and I had another skein in only turquoise but of course not the exact same shade and I also had a skein of yellow also not the same shade. Finally I went with the yellow and I think my socks will look just fine when they are done.

This is where I’m at now:

Twisted Madness #sockmadness 11 knit in yarn from Knitting in France

A close up of Twisted Madness knit in yarns from Knitting in France

This stitch pattern is basically a left leaning cable over 2 stitches and produces this nice pattern that you can see close up on the picture on the right. What do you think about my choice of second color for the socks? I think they will be ok. When worn, people will see a yellow sock with a turquoise and yellow heel so I’m sure it will be ok.

So after I had turned the heel on both socks I decided to knit them taat magic loop. I’ll be knitting on them this afternoon but I’m taking a little break this morning and going to knit on my Snowmelt shawl and spin a little just to give my hands a little time off from the pattern. I chose to knit them on a long circular needle from the get go because just seeing the stitch pattern I realised that knitting them on a 9″ circular would be too hard on my hands.

So I need to finish these asap to qualify of course but also so that I have more time in between rounds so that I can finish my Snowmelt and make good progress on my test knit cardigan. Once the two weeks of the qualifying round are up, the organizers need a few days to set up the teams and so I have some time to finish other things. Each round thereafter is also 14 days but the objective is to always finish way before the time limit. So quite a busy month ahead. Are you also participating in Sock Madness this year? I’d love to know if you are so I can follow your progress on social media.

So planning wise the month of March is 90% Sock Madness and then my test knit cardigan. But I did fall for the Stephen West Mkal temptation and sign up for the Marled Magic Mystery Kal The first clue came out last Friday and I haven’t had the time to start and realistically I may not be able to until the kal is actually over but anyway. I fell for this because he recommended that one use mohair yarn – this is a shawl knit holding two fingering weight yarns together and either use one constant color and only change on of the yarns throughout or to change both all the time. I had a few skeins of mohair/silk yarn in my stash of undyed yarns and I really don’t like the fuzziness of mohair and haven’t dyed or sold much of this yarn and when I saw the pattern and yarn recommendations I thought “it’s now or never”. Either I do this or these skeins will stay in my stash forever. And so I dyed all the skeins, 8 of them I think in a very pale mint green and then I went looking in my stash and my shop yarns for colors that could work with it and I’ve come up with a surprising palette. Actually very different from the colors I’m usually drawn to so I don’t even know if I’ll actually wear the shawl once it’s done. I might give it to someone or maybe I’ll find myself in love with all those new colors. Who knows!

Only one of these yarns is not mine and I might just change it out for one of my own to make this a 100% Knitting in France shawl. Are you doing the mkal? I’d love to see your yarn choices and see your progress as I wait to be able to start mine.

Well, that’s all for now I think. I’ll be back this Thursday with a Maker of the Month feature and a giveaway so stay tuned for that. Until then, have a wonderful week and happy knitting :)

My big March plans Hi there how are you today? it's raining cats and dogs here in Normandy this morning. It almost feels like winter is coming back and they have predicted this kind of weather for the rest of the week I think.

#andrea mowry #briochealicious shawl #curious handmade #dana gervais designs #Etsy shop #hand dyed yarns #indie dyer #knitting in france #knitting in france yarns #marled magic mystery kal #snowmelt mystery kal #snowmelt shawl #sock madness #sock madness 11 #sock madness qualifying round #test knitting #west knits #yarn

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