#i just dont wanna be disrespectful or overstep ever | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sweet-xoxo-thatcares · 3 years

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It's official....I'm lactose intolerant.

After these past few years trying not to go over the limit 🙃 I guess my stomach finally had enough.

And got sick from me eating too much cereal to replace my childhood comfort whenever I felt like shit and needed a hug....or cuddle after masturbation...

Sigh....this sucks. Now my honeycombs, pops, trix, and all my fruity, sweet, unhealthy friends won't taste the same anymore 😕

Soy milk and almond milk only really tastes the best with healthier cereals like brann flakes, ommggg brann.....I'm so used to her last name I typed it brann, instead of bran.

Almond with Almond crunch or honey bunches of oats, or honey nut cheerios.

Soy milk actually did taste great with Strawberry Kellogs Flakes. I introduced them to grandma when I was staying with her and she said liked it and that it didn't hurt her stomach.

I guess we do have something else in common now. My celibacy from milk. No wonder she kept drinking that watered down milk and furina. The calcium powder stuff. I had a cat by that name. I thought it cute. It was like the word ballerina, mixed with her white soft fur, and her striped. Her eyes were either grayish blue in the light, and red if you saw her in the dark under the moonlight. She chased me around the living room the first time mom brought her home. I was always scared of new things and expected her to just stay right there so I could pet her and look at her. I didn't expect her to move and try to get so close to my face, which I feared her trying to scratch me, so I ran 😅 Furina so silly.

Does that mean I can't eat pizza anymore? I love pizza too 😋🥲 it helps me when I crave pizza whenever I think about you know who...

My pride gets in the way.

I finally sucked it up and ignore Jay's voice telling me that to stop stepping over my boundaries....cause Jay always wouldn't let me like the same stuff as them when they were angry or sexually frustrated at me for being a jerk, just because I wanted an actual relationship with another person, because Jay didn't wanna date me and respect me.

That's why I felt like I was doing something bad just because I was listening to country music or watching their favorite movies or shows 🤔 its like whatever was Jay's was there's and I could only watch whatever they didn't really care about or like as much as I already did. They didn't want me to know them behind the mask, so maybe that's why they didn't want me to like something that they liked. Because they thought they owned it.

And everytime I would try to listen to a song or a show, like today, that i knew they liked. Doctor Who Episode 1, season 1. I kept hearing Jay say "get off of me", "that's not yours", "you're only watching it because I like it", "why are you here", and "why don't you just go away." "You're overstepping boundaries."

And the smell of Ayunna's sugar cookies and Black Forest gummies...Jay's pizza rolls, pop, beer, Smirnoff White Ice, pop tarts, gushers kicks in.

Why did everything they like had to be there's? And why was I kept so separated from them even before and after, and I didn't see it was so organized....the isolation. They made fun of my differences, controlled and criticized everything they thought I needed to get rid of: the food I shared, the music I shared, the new hairstyle I tried....they suggested I should get an undercut and they were the only person to never compliment me after I worked so hard to make it and everywhere else I went everyone liked my blue green twists. Jay never said anything nice. Just things to change or make it better in the way they saw it...

clothes, they thought I could do better even when we weren't going anywhere special. The only time I got a compliment was when I was wearing a crop top and they said they could see my bra. That's the reason they liked it. Objectifying me for my legs whenever I wore shorts.

shoes.....ehhh. nothing.

persistently talked about how weird and different I was because I was just so different. They just didn't understand how hurt I was to be invited over to watch something or eat something with then and I got comments and criticism...as if I was so unwelcomed...even though you were the one that even asked me to get dressed, put on makeup for you and to come over your apartment whenever you felt like it. You would even say mean, rude, disrespectful shit like "this is why I don't ask you to come over" "can't take yo ass nowhere" "I'm not inviting you over anymore" and "why are you calling me"

You sound just like Darius. The other bully I had to get rid of for telling me "I hope you and your family choke on dirty brown water." After he heard about the flint water crisis and I told him Steve harvey had got us on the show to film an episode about it.

He was a hater, just like you. Pushed me away and kept coming back just like you. On and off, on and off, on and off, on and off.

You were the worst piece of shit to ever call a friend, Jay. You hit every wound I ever had in the book, and some I told you about and then threw me under the bus after you kept hitting those same wounds over and over again like you didn't care, on purpose. Because you wanted to have your way with me, control me, humiliate me, punish me, just like your words, your blocks on phone calls, social media, and everytime I tried to talk to you afterwards. You've bruised me worse than Darius and every other thing that rejected me, abandoned and emotionally neglected me.

And everyday I have to fight myself back and live with it, the pain of everything that reminds me of us, you, and her. And I'm sick of it.

I'm tired of feeling stings in my side, my heart, betrayal in my back. The knife in my chest still stings. And you have no idea what it feels like, nor do you care. Fuck off. Fuck you. I'm watching Doctor Who, Willoughbys, and that post office Klaus movie, because you don't control me anymore.

You're just the image of everything that was, and what is no more. You're not welcome here. Just as you made me feel before. You were the 1st and the last to ever get this close to me. You're eliminated. You are a irrelevant, unstable, and a pain in my ass.

I was never rude to you unless I left, or if you started to piss me off to the highest tolerance. And I tolerated so much shit from you. I was so patient waiting for you to unblock me and talk to me each and every semester you have a fucking, baby tempur tantrum about me not not doing something you wanted me to do. I'm not your fucking dog, I'm not your fucking child, I'm not your overweight fuck buddy that you can just fetishize and use because you have a milf titty addiction. Fuck you insecure bitch, wanna be a manwhore but have double standards for women like a straight up misogynist.

WELL NEWSFLASH BITCH YOU STILL ARE A GIRL, YOU WAS BORN A GIRL, AND NOBODY CAN UNSEE IT UNTIL YOU STOP TREATING PEOPLE LIKE A CHILDISH ANGELICA FROM RUGRATS. CONTROLLING AND PISSING OFF PEOPLE FOR YOUR PLEASURE MANHO.

KISS MY ASS AND IDGAF IF YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME, GROW A DEEPER VOICE, AND GROW A DICK. YOU WILL NEVER HAVE AS MUCH BALLS AS ME. CAUSE IM PROBABLY THE 1ST PERSON TO EVER CALL YO DUMBASS OUT. LEARN HOW TO BE A MAN THAT RESPECTS WOMEN AND DOESN'T ACT LIKE A JEALOUS BITCH JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE IS NEW AND DIFFERENT TO YOU. UNTIL YOU LEARN EMPATHY, HOW TO LISTEN, HOW TO EVEN REMEMBER, HOW TO BREATHE, AND HOW TO BE A TRUE, HONEST, CONSIDERATE, MORAL, RESPONSIBLE LEADER, LIKE MY FATHER. THEN I'LL SEE YOU AS A MAN.

TILL THEN, YOU A BITCH AND YOU'LL ALWAYS BE. THAT GOES FOR ANY MAN, TRANS OR NOT.

IF YOU TREAT WOMEN LIKE THIS MITCH DOES, YALL ALLLLL BITCHES TOO. YO MOMMA AND YO DADDY TOO FOR NOT TEACHING YOU RIGHT FROM WRONG. YOU DONT PUT FEAR AND DISRESPECT, ANGER AND CONTROL, TO EARN ANYONE'S RESPECT. RESPECT IS LEARNED. RESPECT IS EARNED.

THATS WHY YOU AND HER DONT EVEN HAVE TRUE FRIENDS. THE ONLY PEOPLE YOU THINK YOU NEED TO RESPECT IS JUST YALL 2, AND FUCK EVERYBODY ELSE. IF THATS HOW YALL FEEL.

THEN YOULL ALWAYS BE ALONE. YOU STUPID, IGNORANT ASS, DUMB BITCH. FUCK YOU TWO DRY ASS, BASIC ASS BECKY, HOES. HOPE YOUR NECKS HURT FROM TALKING SO MUCH SHIT, YOU SOUND LIKE A DOG CHOKING ON YOUR ON YOUR PLASTIC DICKS.

YOU FUCKIN DILDO.

#I'm pissed beyond words

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