#i hope this sounds coherent
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Am I allowed to follow you? I really like your art, but I take a "I don't care what other people do" attitude towards shipping discourse and I don't know if you consider that to mean that I'm a proshipper & thus not allowed to interact.
I hold a similar mindset in a "I don't care as long as I don't see it" ? kinda way. I don't back-check my followers but if I do somehow find content that I dislike, I just block and carry on.
And an attitude is completely different from supporting/encouraging proship content so... 🤷
ty for asking though!
#oh and i dont like when people tag my posts as prohip#i'd rather not have my content in those circles#or interpreted like that??#anyways#ty for askin!#bepou talks#i hope this sounds coherent#feel free to do whatever you want LOL
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they call my brain crash and the boys the way I'm so sad one second, and then hating and wanting to die, then a fight breaks out
#scott pilgrim#is that girl a boy too?#im sooooooooooooo sad#we hate you please die#i hope this sounds coherent
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what lies beneath the facade? an observation of kazui mukuhara's face
my attempt on trying to analyze kazui's feelings! (not sure if this has been pointed out yet im sorry if someone made a similar post. this post has very, VERY brief/minor discussion of sui btw)
im sure we all know by now that this is kazui's true feelings about his marriage; he hates it, and shows a self deprecating smile to the audience. i think, that the right side of his face where his bangs are longer is where kazui shows his true feelings to us. im gonna put some scenes where i think it's the most damning (while there are other pics I think applies, they may look like im reaching a little, so I won't share those). this is why in some scenes in half/Cat, you may notice that Kazui's expression can look unnatural where this observation is at play.
hell, even in the Cat album cover here, he covers the side of his face where his bangs are longer. this man is trying his best not to show anyone what he really feels. letting the door itself do the talking, so why should he? signifying that he at least, cannot wait what to show Milgram, to show us, what secrets are behind that door. (but also channeling an air of uncertainty doing so)
as well as in Undercover, i think it's very interesting that the creators make it a point to show both halves of kazui. when his mugshot gets taken, both of his sides are shown to us. one where he's smiling, and one where he's not. notice how his left side is where he's grinning and his right side is where he's serious?
we only catch his serious expression with one glimpse before he realizes he's being observed and quickly shows us a smile. (then during that scene where they show us which location correlates to which prisoner, the light is shining on the right side of his body. also, kazui is the only prisoner where they show both of his side profiles. the others show 3/4 of their faces)
before i continue, thank you so much for reading in advance!! >_< anyways keep marching on and keep reading this cool post of mine!
more pictures where they emphasise on his "right" being his true self in Cat, where his eyes are shown on the start and end.
half:
when I took a closer look at these images... was kazui more unhappy being around the long haired woman Vs him and his wife?
left is kazui with his wife, right is kazui with the long haired woman
this next one really gets me a lot. the most clear cut observation that tells us the other half of his face is where he expresses his true self.
he tears up for one split second, a ball of teardrop forming on his eye. what was something on that stage that made him so emotional?
then he quickly looks away to see something else catching his attention (which was the apple) after he stood up and looked forwards, kazui genuinely looks shocked/surprised.
knowing this observation can also give us a different perspective to some other scenes in half. like this one:
his wife touching his right side of his face. multiple questions pop up in my head when i see this scene.
was she ready to hear kazui out? was she catching onto him that he was hiding a secret/hiding his feelings? or was she trying to comfort that side of his face, as if she was saying "whatever it is you want to tell me, im sure i can handle it." to him?
hinako tries to understand him. tries to "grasp" his true face, his "true self". but kazui can only give a weak, depressing grin, as he gently puts her palm away, balling his fingers around hers. he doesn't know if she's actually ready for it. even though she's gentle with how she holds his "true side".
as we all know, before they zoomed in to this shot of kazui putting her hand down, their silhouettes were blurry. if you weren't close enough, you almost thought she was choking and suffocating him. not only kazui felt like the marriage made him feel like he was in a rut, he was afraid of hinako "suffocating"/disliking his true feelings (or side), even though she is holding it with care. hence why he was putting her hand down.
of course we know it didn't turn out the way he wanted it to turn out, from the next scene here.
kazui is clearly depressed towards the outcomes. at the end of half, his right side is not very happy at all, despite his left side making it look like he's grinning.
everything is all a mess now.
cat:
after finding out hinako wanted to "touch and caress", kazui genuinely seems interested in this thought and was sincere about what he was feeling here, so he pursues her in hopes those feelings are fulfilled. interestingly, the lyrics "so, it's wrong?" are on the screen when he shows the camera his right side.
when he proposes to her, he still remains looking at her in this direction, although we can't see how his expression looks like.
unfortunately for hinako though, this is the last time kazui ever looks at her on this side.
during the confession scene, his right side is blocked by the cup, so we actually don't know what he was feeling completely when he asked the question.
after this scene, we can finally see his right side again, but it's well hidden by kazui blocking that side of his face with a hand and cigarette. giving us a sense of mystery of what transpired after he asked the question.
kazui is entertaining his wife with magic tricks while showing his left side to the camera. his "fake" side is what he wants to show to her and to all of us.
but his left eye squints as he realizes about his dream. his left eye squinting is telling us that his fake side is breaking apart.
then, kazui drops down to his knees. take note of the rope falling down on his left lap.
after getting back up (from what seems like kazui stumbling from drinking 4 cups of alcohol), he rubs the right side of his face. he is really frustrated with himself here.
with all of the information we have so far, we can interpret this as kazui desiring to remove his fake, other half of himself (this is the only object we don't see when kazui is showing off his magic tricks, and ropes can be associated with suicide). he is given a choice to remove his left side, his false side, which is why that rope fell down that direction.
as he's about to tell hinako the truth, he transitions from
> lighting a cigarette, his eyes hidden from us
> kazui facepalming himself. as a smoke in a shape of a noose is formed. remember the rope i talked about earlier?
even though the rope initially landed on his left lap, the noose is angled to his right side. he's grasping his right side of the face as well. this, here, is kazui being ashamed of his "true self". if he could, he would want to remove his true self if it meant having to keep lying to people, or if it meant making people happy. kazui is going through with telling hinako the truth, while this scene tells us he is hesitating to do so and is 100% expecting for it to hurt him and her.
> he lets down his hand.
showing hinako and us, the audience, a very unique expression where he's snide, mischievous... almost mocking, yet at the same time, really depressed and frustrated with it all. from hinako's pose in half touching kazui's "true side", this is his answer; she is not going to like it one bit.
a stark difference in feelings. kazui looks like he's going to say or do something harmful, but his other side tells us otherwise. he didn't want things to be like this. also, it contrasts with the final scene in half very well.
when he bites on the dove, he doesn't look that satisfied doing so.
in this climax, it seems like kazui himself doesn't know what's what anymore, letting the adrenaline of telling his feelings take over him. letting both his "true" feelings and his "lying" self beat him up, because at this point of no return, what difference will his fake and real self make anyway?
i really love how we can't tell if his bloodied lips are frowning because he's shocked, distressed, or if he's grinning ear to ear, happy and glad to have finally told the truth. even in this scene you can tell that the right side of his lips is less happy than his left where his mouth is more elevated and smiling.
what does he feel now after all of this chaos? well, let's look back at his right side of his face again...
the MV ends with this shot of his right eye, slowly zooming in.
empty, emotionless, forlorn, and distant...
it's almost like he's staring and watching something at the sky after something fell down.
#kazui mukuhara#yuugram log#ahghhha aughh im really proud of this post i hope it sounds coherent lol#milgram theories#milgram analysis#milgram theory#mukuhara kazui#cw sui mention#it is 5 am
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As a continuation of this ask that I responded to, all the things I mentioned are just parts of the overall issue I have with Blades…. which is that, in the grand scheme of things, I feel like MC is simply a plot device for the other characters rather than a fully developed character who has a fully developed and satisfying arc herself. It’s clear that Nia’s is the story the writers really wanted to tell considering how intertwined her characterization/development and the overall world building are. They basically even admitted as much.
So my question is why not just make her the MC if that’s really what you wanted on the not so down low? They still could’ve incorporated the skill mechanic. Why create a whole player character just to have us running to solve everyone else’s problems/support them while acting like everything that happens to us exists inside of a vacuum in the meantime? So far, all we’ve really been doing in this book is reporting where the group needs to go, telling them what to do, having heart to hearts with them when they need help moving to the next stage of their development, and then being spoonfed information through the lore tablets, which are apparently more for the players’ benefit than MC’s since they barely affect how we respond in game anyway. I’m fine with being the leader or the glue that holds everyone together, but to me it’s unsatisfying that that’s all we are as the main character.
We somehow become more competent due to the skill mechanic but no less clueless at the same time. We have all this terrible shit happen to us, but are only offered a few lines’ description of how that’s affected us. And then the rest of the attention goes to setting up the light vs. shadow conflict and our friends, who get to have personal and compelling conflicts of their own. I mean I feel like MC is more of an emotional support animal to them than an actual person with dreams, feelings, and a (minimal) background. Imo the only character who’s getting shafted almost as much as us is Imtura.
And all of this might make it sound like I hate Blades, but it’s quite the contrary actually. It’s still one of my favorite series and has a lot of fun moments and lovable characters. But I think at this point, its flaws have become too large for me to ignore. So that’s still affecting my enjoyment a bit and probably the reason why I’m so upset with how certain things are being handled. Of course I’m aware that Blades isn’t the only book that has some of these issues though. I think it’s just a little more disappointing because I expected more
#choices bolas#choices blades#blades of light and shadow#choices stories you play#playchoices#and again it’s not lost on me that a lot of my opinion is probably colored by being on Mal’s romance route alone#from what I’ve seen of Tyril’s route he at least seems to care a bit more#he even shows concern for MCs who have a purely platonic relationship with him#I’m not sure about Nia and Imtura#but even still I feel like MC isn’t being given nearly enough from the writers regardless of who you’re romancing#also I’m still not sure I’ve really explained my thoughts clearly#I feel like I just typed a lot and then decided to post bc I don’t have the capacity to try to organize this any further#so it just never would’ve gotten posted if I waited for that 🤦🏽♀️#but either way I hope it’s semi coherent and doesn’t just sound like a lot of whining and rambling 💀😭#choices#choices app
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I was watching let's plays and reaching conclusions
#slay the princess#revolutionary girl utena#rgu#the owl house#toh#currently obsessed with this game#can't verbalise thoughts properly#i forgot how to spell exist#autocorrect saving my life rn#it's midnight and i didn't sleep last night sorry#i saw 'ch III the thorn' and was like lmao like in the owl house and then it really went that way#dunno if i love or hate when i can tell where things are going bc i saw similar shit somewhere else#toh gets officially forgiven for the 'masked man 2.0'#and then i connect the dots that they're in this situation for stabbing each other#like literally#and multidimensionally#doomed by narrative written by a force trying to destroy them and the functionality of the world#there's more and it's deeper i'm too sleep deprived#prise the autocorrect for making me sound coherent#i Hope#mist was here
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Hi F451 tumblr. Can i go on an insane ramble. Montag is kind of just like the hound. Montag hound allegory 100…. Both because All We Put Into It is Hunting Fighting and Killing What a Shame If Thats All It Will Ever Know but ALSO i just know Beatty loves that damn hound. I can see him kneeling before it in my mind’s eye, lovingly adjusting chemical balance and making sure its joints are oiled and move comfortably, shining its exterior, cleaning its led eyes, taking it with him on jobs, slip lead held loosely around its great accordion rubber neck, giving it rats and mice to kill by hand, stroking that great chrome head with tenderness and adoration unbecoming of a man of Beatty’s status, and is Montag not his own hound? His best man? Does he not lovingly feed him books to destroy? Lies to believe? Did he not train him, build him in his own image? What love beatty feels is like how a god feels love, it’s retribution, punishment, ownership, in a way. Montag is his Hound, and does Beatty not take excellent care of his hound?
#its like that mitski song#youre an angel im a dog or youre a dog and im your man#you believe me like a god I destroy you like I am#good GOD#is this coherent#is this anything#you guys kind of sound insane so. i hope this resonates with somebody because I am definitely insane#NOT IN LIKE A WEIRD YAOI WAY THOUGH.#in a highly repressed illicit homosexual affair in the 60s kind of way you know#my ideal ship dynamic is just Man Who is Desperate for Affection x Man Who Takes Good Care of His Things#its unhealthy its codependent its everything I want for them#amen#fahrenheit 451#guy montag#captain beatty#guy montag x captain beatty#because the tag is EMPTY!!!!!!!!#ITS EMPTY!!! WHY!!!#max talks smack
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Its calls didn't overlap with any other whales. It spoke in a mixed dialect, reminiscent of blue and fin whales, but it was talking to neither of them.
52 Blue: The loneliest whale in the world BY LESLIE JAMISON // spider-man 2099 (1992) #4 // Inside the Nail-Biting Quest to Find the 'Loneliest Whale' BY PAKINAM AMER // spider-man 2099 (1992) #10
#me when it coheres!!!!!!!!#gabriel o'hara#miguel o'hara#conchata o'hara#no tagging dana. who cares#this ain't about her#marvel comic blogging#anyway also please do not take this post to be disparaging towards gabriel. i hope the point that comes across is that among#three abuse survivors who have suffered in distinctly different ways all attempts at clear and open communication are failing#and in miguel's case he is sounding out at a frequency neither his brother or mother can hear or can hear and are not trying to understand#and that's due to resentment whether justified or not#for gabriel...#his behaviour is not perfect because he is coming from a place of extraordinary hurt and he also lacks the full story#anyhow. the tragedy here despite no one being dead. george left behind ruins
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@hedgehodgy, this is my attempt at a Triton first sketch for your fic 'Mercy Upon Ourselves'! I hope he looks similar enough to your vision of him!?? I'm open to ideas so if you have an actor face-claim or something similar, I'd love to see it!
Happy writing! I really love your fic!!
#triton#it's almost 2am and i am sick#i hope i sound coherent enough??#i had a desire to draw triton#so i gave into that desire#i still wanna change some things#and i'll get to those changes!#percy jackson#percy jackson fanfic#fanfic fanart#fic art for a great fic writer#pose is from our great melon soup i believe!#... melon soup?#idk i'm tired and sick and the demon of the month has come for my blood#i'm having a nIGHT
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Path to Freedom: an Amprule First Note analysis thingy
Due to popular demand (of my 3 friends), I've decided to type up another break down of an amprule illustration!!! yippee!!!!
Once again let's start simple!! the light composition!! There is a clear light/shadow duality happening in this illustration so here's a neat chart I made to show it:
Now you might notice the red/green tint I added, as well as how Chungsung is in the light meanwhile Dongha is in the dark. So let's break down the components of each side.
Dongha is surrounded by shadows. The shadows likely show how he feels trapped in the Yeon family. The paintings that surround him add even more pressure because he has the Yeon family name to live up to.
He is looked down by the paintings behind him (it's only Chungsung who's looking up at him) meanwhile Dongha doesn't look at anyone, he fears that he has failed the family (his father). He seems to be considering his choices between the two paths he could take.
What are his two paths exactly? Well, they're shown through the doors! The door next to him and the door below him.
The door next to him will possibly take him deeper into the mansion. The path is pitch-black and the darkness will make him feel even more lost. This path will probably keep him trapped in the mansion forever.
The door below him is lit up and will possibly lead him to the exit. The path is lit up and it all seems good, but there is yet another painting in the way. His fight for freedom won't be easy but we already know that he is determined to take that step forward.
The physical locations of the doors could also mean something. The one that leads inside the mansion is higher up, it means that if Dongha wants to keep his social status he's gonna have to give up his freedom. But if he wants to become free he'll have to "lower" himself and possibly lose his status. (It is worth pointing out how the positions of the characters show their imbalance as well.)
Now, everything I've mentioned to this point has been focusing on Dongha's struggles, so where's Chungsung in all of this?
I've talked about the role colors play in Amprule art in my previous post. Chungsung's red contrasts with the Yeon family green and gives Dongha a place to Be. There is no red in this illustration, Chungsung is as trapped in the family as Dongha is.
Just with the way he's positioned shows us that he is leaning toward the idea of freedom (is it his freedom, does he want Dongha to be free, or is it just his willingness to be a tool for Dongha's freedom). And if we take account of the light = freedom & shadow = restraint meanings, the light is practically shining upon him.
But at the end of the day, he is still only a butler and he is waiting for Dongha to make a decision. His loyalty to Dongha is not something to question, we all know that Chungsung will stand by his side no matter which path he chooses. However, if Dongha chooses to go deeper into the mansion he might end up being separated from Chungsung and their distance would become even bigger.
"To me Amprule means freedom." is something Dongha says to Hajun in the Showdown Aftermath drama track. Dongha forming Amprule is not only him choosing his freedom but choosing to get closer to Chungsung as well. Though I suppose neither of them are aware of how they've been closing the gap.
Considering how this is a bit of a "prequel to Amprule" type of image it gives us a decent look into just how suffocating their lives in the Yeon family were. They still haven't made it to equal footing, but we know that they're slowly getting there and setting themselves free.
#not mentioned here bc i didnt wanna derail Too Much is the fate drama track#bae straight up tells it to his face that the stronger their bond becomes. the stronger amprule will get#which causes the showdown drama track. and chungsung playing geoguesser to find which market baby hajun & dongha went to#if i become even more deranged one of these days ill literally type out a line by line analysis of them sharing the candied apples#anyways heres to hoping that this whole thing sounds coherent. i wrote down all the points i wanted to make#just. the role of chungsung is SOOOOO important to dongha. his constant support means so much to him. blowing them up#fucked up dadmom and sonboy combo the world#paradox live#amprule#yeon dongha#baek chungsung#nile talks#Btw if y'all want me expand on other stuff or just wanna talk about amprule in general. I am always here. I gave many things to say#*have not gave
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AMBROSE BASSFORD: autism?
hi!!!! welcome to part 1 of "i've got some thoughts on adamandi" >:) i have some other analysis that i do want to share about other things, not just randomly diagnosing fictional characters! but this post is about ambrose being on the autism spectrum <3
i'm not a medical professional by any means, but this is just coming from both my experience as an autistic person and the research i've been able to do about the disorder. and other people's experiences! please dont come for me if things are just a touch inaccurate. without further ado: lets fucking gooooooooo!
[ID: ambrose bassford with his hands on vincent lin's shoulders. he is looking into the distance with a determined look in his eye. vincent looks towards him with concern. end ID]
(please excuse my terrible quality screenshots. um. yeah.)
i'll also preface this by saying that yes, much of this is also informed by his status as a transgender student in the early-mid 1900s. i still think it's fun to analyze and compare my (and others') experiences to his!
THE MARMORIUS SOCIETY
[ID: preston monterey and adrian farthington (or miscellaneous marmorei) putting a letterman jacket on ambrose. ambrose is smiling. there is a caption at the bottom reading "rooftops that nobody frequents where secret societies meet" in all caps. end ID]
firstly, i will address the marmorius society. i'm fairly certain that the marmorei in "word to the wise" are meant more to represent the then-present-now-past members that welcomed ambrose freshman year rather than preston and adrian, but thats ok. what matters more is the subtext in word to the wise that we can glean from the choreography and interactions between ambrose and vincent. beginning the song, and similarly his freshman year, ambrose struggles to fit in like each of the other students entering ardess. he initially seems more comfortable interacting with vincent, but then gets taken in by the marmorei. this is exactly where his mannerism and attitude shift
here, we see ambrose fitting in (or, making an attempt to) with the other marmorei. from vincent's account, we know that ambrose's actions and behaviors almost completely changed after becoming part of the society. this is a really roundabout way of saying hey, ambrose found a place where he thinks he might belong! rather than learning and adapting to normal and regular social rules, he latches onto and mimics a very specific subset of people. to him, they know what they are doing and they have a way of being social that he can't understand so he mimics instead of just adjusting the way he already was. this mimicking makes a bit of sense in that he's not quite conforming to social cues (he still doesn't exactly fit in), but he's trying to. it feels to me a bit like how it is to feel alienated from your peers, even though you are trying your hardest to mask. of course, his "off"-ness is also contributed to by his transness so take that as you will.
2. WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?
[ID: ambrose is standing facing vincent. vincent is facing him with his hands to his back uncomfortably. the caption reads. "i've been looking to include more variations in body type." end ID]
this one is shorter than the marmorius society bulletpoint. actually, most of them are. that one is long winded. ANYWAY, ambrose is kind of... interesting when it comes to his interactions. specifically, he encourages vincent to join the marmorei by saying he's been "looking to include more variations in body type." to him, he's being completely honest and genuinely wants vincent to take interest in his phaethon project. unfortunately, to both vincent and much of the audience, this comes off as comically insensitive at best or offensive at worst. this comes from a lack of awareness of social cues, similar to the lack of knowledge of social norms from the previous bulletpoint. while he knows how to conform to the marmorei, there is still a lot of social cues he needs to work on. often, autistic people will speak bluntly and honestly in their communication. this is really not that far off, even if it was just a little gag!
3. OMG, SENSORY ISSUES!
[ID: caption reading, "he didn't eat the apple because he said he didn't like how its flesh felt on the skin of his thumbs." end ID]
kind of self explanatory. all metaphors aside, ambrose doesn't like the flesh of a peeled apple on his thumbs. i understand (<- i loooove peeled apples though)
4. BLACK AND WHITE THINKING: IF NOT ME, WHO?
[ID: lyrics reading, "if i was stronger i could fix this; / cut the bad and leave the good / be the marble and the sculptor / like my father says i should." end ID]
[ID: lyrics reading, "so my parents and my girlfriend / my closest friends and you / will know i deserve their love / once there's no more work to do / there are only three people who'll be perfect in their eyes / me, myself, and i" end ID]
two screenshots! often, autism causes what can be called "black and white" or polarized thinking. it's like, there's only one solution or there are only the extremes (although, this isn't to be confused with the black and white thinking associated with BPD. i don't have experience on that but ive heard quincy and vincent can fit the bill). for ambrose, there's only one solution to both his dysphoria and distorted self worth: becoming the perfect man by... becoming marble or whatever. as if there is only ONE way to do this, without alternative methods. i sometimes find myself in the same spiral, and have meltdowns either when it doesn't work out or if i'm offered an alternative solution that goes against what i thought might work. even in the second screenshot here, we see that he thinks the only way to earn love is through this specific task. he cannot be unconvinced, even if vincent tries to offer him an alternative solution.
5. WHY APOLLO, BOYS?
[ID: ambrose is hanging off a ladder, his hand out and mouth open singing. the caption reads, "apollo's look is yours: sound body, sound mind" in all caps. end ID]
this is where i dip more into the headcanon territory than i already have. i couldn't really include every screenshot where he talks about a) apollo, b) sculpture, or c) fitness. this is kind of part of his character in general but i like to think of it as his special interests. it's remarkable how many autistic people i know who have majored in something related to their spinterests (including myself! in a way)
6. DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF, LIN!
[ID: vincent awkwardly puts a hand on ambrose's arm, ambrose looks at him longingly. end ID]
ambrose... did not interpret the social cues correctly in the scene directly after "sound body, sound mind." it's really just written in the text, but just in case, i will remind you that vincent pretty much says "hey, i kind of strived to be like you because i had this incorrect assumption of who you were, sorry about that lol" and ambrose took it all wrong and thought this was a romantic advance. he just... didn't interpret it right. honest mistake, but a very common mistake among autistic people. and, unrelated to the autism thing, his comeback isn't smooth at all lmao
THERE YOU HAVE IT! i'm sure there could be more to be said, but my hands hurt (disability) and i can't think of any more off the top of my head. feel free to add on with anything you want to say!!!! thank you for reading!!!! here's the sillies for you, as a reward for getting this far :)
[ID: preston, ambrose, and adrian with their arms on each others' shoulders, stepping in sync. end ID]
#>SOUND MIND<#adamandi#ALSO LMK IF THIS IS LIKE. OUT OF PLACE OR IF IM JUST FUCKING WRONG ACTUALLY.#the autism strikes again (i write an essay for funsies on a tuesday night)#it's also past midnight. i hope this is coherent#vincent aurelius lin#ambrose bassford#preston monterey#adrian farthington#vincent lin#ambrose wellington bassford#meta
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So what's the lore with Juniper n their relationship with Vitimir n Hettie?
WELL for both, their relationships go back to their school days! Although the difference being that Juniper and Hettie went to St. Epiderm together, while Vitimir went to a different school (Glandus at the time he met Juniper).
I’ve briefly touched on how Juniper and Vitimir met here, so that explains their first meeting. To reiterate, Vitimir was a shy kid that didn’t really have any friends growing up (aside from bugs/whatever little creatures they spent their time around) and was bullied frequently, so that single positive interaction with Juniper, though small, really stuck with him and he never forgot it. Juniper didn’t forget it either, but being the sociable type meeting and talking to lots of different people, that moment sorta blended in with the rest of their memories. So fast forward to them both working as Coven Heads at the same time, Vitimir immediately recognizes Juniper. Despite Juniper changing a lot since his child self, that one good memory left such a big impact on Vitimir as a kid that he still held that soft spot for them. So of course, when Juniper eventually approached him on their own time, Vitimir already had this layer of vulnerability. Even though they might not have recognized him, from Vitimir’s perspective, there was that sense of familiarity and comfort; Juniper might have changed, but that kind kid was still in him. Now that they have the chance, Vitimir wants to actually get to know this one person who had plagued so many of their thoughts as a kid. And the rest is history!!
As for Hettie! Again, she and Juniper attended St. Epiderm together. Hettie was just as terrifying as a kid as she is now. She was everything- a jock, a princess, a bully, a weird girl, whatever you can think of. Though she’s very open about who she is, everyone around her was always so intimidated by the fact that she was unpredictable (and the fact that she’s both the smartest AND strongest person you’d ever meet is terrifying enough on its own). Most everyone- except for Juniper. To Juniper, Hettie was always such a character. She’s always been so confident and unapologetic, able to command people’s attention without even saying a word. Her unpredictability made everything she did so interesting. Juniper so deeply admired this about Hettie. And the fact that she’s 100% his type only drew them closer to her. Hettie was Juniper’s first ever crush, and that love Juniper had for her never faded. Though as kids, they weren’t in the same social circles, they did cross paths a lot, whether it was through Sonia (Scooter Crane’s daughter and childhood best friend to Juniper, who was also in the Healing Track), or Juniper getting injured for whatever ridiculous reasons. At this age, Hettie didn’t reciprocate her feelings (yet), but she had a fondness for Juniper because he was so different from the other kids for the fact alone that they had a (very obvious) crush on her. And while their crush may have caused them to do embarrassing things, and foolishly being used as her own guinea pig from time to time to practice her magic on, Hettie had cared about Juniper. To her, he always made life more fun and interesting. Fast forward to them as Coven Heads- Hettie has grown a stronger affection for Juniper. He’s changed over the years, but he still makes life so much more fun and interesting. Perhaps now, Hettie admires Juniper for the same exact reasons they always have her. They’re still a bit pathetic around her, but Hettie finds it endearing. Not to mention, Juniper still makes for a good doll to experiment on, and she takes good care of her favorite dolls ;-)
#ask#juniper jazz#vitimir#hettie cutburn#junimir#medical mirror#I HOPE THIS ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION I tried my best to make it sound coherent and not ramble on about certain things 🙏#tried to talk about hettie more bc i don’t think I’ve explained much of the medical mirror stuff publicly yet#or. anything tbh 😭😭#BUT I MEAN I GOTTA GET EVERYONE ON THE SAME PAGE EVENTUALLY SO THIS IS A START 🙏🙏#I can always expand on anything else if anyone wants me to and is curious :3c#you KNOW how much I love yapping about my stupid peacock I didn’t put all my blood sweat and tears into him for nothin 🫰#ALSO!! FUN LIL THING I WAS GOING TO MENTION BUT DECIDED NOT TO IN THE END BC IT WOULDVE BEEN TOO MUCH-#long story short lets just say hettie chose to hang out w juniper during the night of a school dance 🤭#THAT’S ALL I’LL SAY FOR NOW ABOUT THAT i have Art Ideas for that i -really- want to get to one day#okay i gotta stfu now i told myself i was gonna hold back on the yapping 😭😭😭#OKAY WAIT ONE LAST THING-#idk if anyone actually cares but reminder that I’ve got both junimir and med. mirror playlists if you wanna get a better idea of them!!#theyre not perfect but theyre still fun Okay I’ll shut up for real fr now ✌️
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#its seems we really may be at the end of vanity#i missed a call from my dad and thought we might be in a connors birthday situation but no. not yet#he did say that it feels like this is it bc my mom's situation is complicated bc she has so much wrong at this point#its like a h0use md episode. the doctors dont seem to kno what to do and shes not very coherent#so my dad was saying that i should look at flights and by tonight hell let me kno if i should pull the trigger and buy a one way ticket home#it sucks. he sounds rough. i feel so bad for him. his wife of 29 years is dying#its not fair. shes only 53#i wanna be there but im stuck here across the country. i wanna go home. thats a bit frighting tho bc itll take me at least 10 hrs to travel#and i dont want her to die while im in the air but i also dont want her to suffer#i hope she gets better but if she doenst i hope its fast. there dont seem to do any good options. shes so tried and its so complicated#and if she does get better than this then what would that even mean? my sister says it doesnt feel like there will b a better anymore after#this. and bless her to the ends of the earth she reached out this morning and was giving me updates#comforting to kno im not just being dramatic. its actually just really bleak#its kinda funny tho. my sister was like meh it doesnt seem so bad and then like 10min later she was like yeah no i was wrong its sorta#horrible apprently shes been deterorating#god. if i go back home do i take clothes for a funeral? do i keep up to date with my genomics class? will i become offset from my graduate#cohort? will i get my wish to play with legos at home? all questions worth considering#well. ill deal with whatever comes. so it goes. itll b fine. i mean ill b fine#just sad ya kno?#three weeks ago she was alright and saying she could fly out to take care of me after oral surgery#now shes dying#unrelated
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WHAT LOVE? "i shook all the wrong hands at all the right times"
vs
GLOOMTOWN BRATS "and now you're in the right place at the wrong time"
hmmm....
#it's 2am i can't be coherent about this but i noticed the parallel here and hope there's something to it#also:#NIGHT HEAT. BACK AGAIN.#listen my first iDKHOW concert was during the Night Heat Tour i'm loving the callback in the song#anyway yeah i'm loving the wacky sounds of the new album so far#iDKHOW
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Abt your info post, what do you mean "body is white"? Are u talking about race? Why don't you just say you're white then? Im genuinly curious like are you trying to seperate yourself from your race or something? From your lived priveledge?? Do you think you're any less white or any less capable of racism because your queer and disabled or whatever? Like what.
I get it might be a system thing like when you said ur body is 19, but if that's the case why didn't you just say your body needs a cane to function instead of just "cane user"? Is it because you actually want to identify with that because it makes you feel special?
I'd appreciate if this got answered. Maybe it's just something I don't understand about white people yet. Guess I'm open to be educated or whatever
"body is white" = "all alters in this system benefit from white privilege and have only the lived experience of a white person, because however they present in headspace, the body, which is how we are all perceived as, no matter our connection to it, is white"
its not that we think were less white, thatd be. really stupid. its meant to be acknowledging our collective lived privilege of being white no matter how we look in headspace. weve never said or implied being queer or disabled makes us less white? weve always been solid on the stance that while yes we are at a disadvantage from our queerness and disability, we still benefit from white privilege.
other alters do actually phrase it as "the body is a cane user/disabled"*, but i also use a cane in headspace and this is my personal blog, hence the more personal language of "cane user"
*one of our cis alters phrases it like this too↓
TLDR: what im trying to say is that its not a phrase trying to induce separation, its a phrase that binds to every single alter in the system
#hope this helps? and also makes sense ive just woke up and pushed out worlds least grounded alter out of front lol#asks#anon#vhstalk#PS FOR ADDITIONAL CONTEXT IF YOURE NEW:#im a robot alter i straight up do not have skin in headspace which is also why its phrased like that on my blog specifically#g-d i hope this is coherent. and understandable to singlets (which it sounds like you are one?)
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Alright so I’m having Some Thoughts™ about the Captain coming out and I’ve kind of thought of the ideal coming out scene (at least for me)
The ghosts are holding a club, perhaps a therapy session with Alison, and they’re discussing people who were close to them in life. Naturally it’s the Captain’s turn next, so he talks about his dear second in command. It cuts to a flashback of some sort of interaction. After the flashback ends, the subplot (or main plot idk) kicks in and we’re left to process that for a bit.
After that we’re back to the Captain talking about his life with Havers and it ends with him describing Havers leaving. Then we get a little tense moment where the Captain goes “And…”
“…And I loved him.”
And that’s when we get to see him finally come out, ideally without getting sucked off because I don’t think I (or any one of us) could handle that. All I really want is a dramatic moment and a short, gut wrenching line that can be made into gifs
#trust me this sounded a lot cooler and more dramatic in my head#I really hope it didn’t come off as stupid or anything lol#I also hope this is coherent because I find I blackout when I get too hyped about making these kind of posts#bbc ghosts#the captain#lieutenant havers
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Oh, and I know
I can tell I'm falling further again
But I won't turn away
It's far too late for me
(It's too late for me / It's too late)
I can't really put into words how much of an iron grip this song has on me. Especially that last part, where he repeats "It's too late for me" - I can't listen to it without tearing up and waiting to sing along from the top of of my lungs. It's one of those where I desperately wish I didn't relate to it, but in a weird, sick way, I'm glad I do.
It's SUCH a cathartic feeling to just put in on full volume and sing along. I just know Vessel must've had such a visceral moment recording this (all of their songs really, but yeah).
#i could go on and on about it but i'm not really in the right mindset for coherent thoughts rn#but yeah#“i can tell i'm falling further again” - oh how i understand it#when you've been living with depression for over half of your life it's not hard to “tell” the signs#and yet it's so so impossible (it seems) to not let yourself sink down further#you've become so accustomed to it that your whole perception of reality shifts#it feels like this is as good as it gets and maybe you were never meant to break free#even when you desperately want to survive and cling onto something (that fall for me poem. ugh)#it's exhausting to try and resist so you just let yourself go#thankfully i'm in a MUCH better place i was a few years ago but this is still my daily struggle#i hope Vessel is getting all the love and hugs and forehead kisses he deserves#he sounds so fragile here it's heartbreaking#anyways#it's really late and i'm feeling emotional#sleep token#this place will become your tomb#darya's mixtape
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