sebastidewis + visiting the farm
“Hello, Lewis.”
Lewis reaches out a fist and Mick grins, Mercedes jacket zipped up to his chin, and bumps his knuckles with his. Lewis goes back to tugging on his racing gloves, slipping his arms into the sleeves of his suit. Today will be a good day, he thinks, furiously.
“Have you talked to Sebastian or Daniel recently?”
George is heading out before him, the low roar of his car rumbling past them. Mick’s voice is quiet enough that if Lewis wanted to, he could pretend not to hear.
Lewis turns to look at him and Mick, to his credit, does not blink. “No,” Lewis says because lying is not that kind of karma he needs right now and because he is too old for games. Mick hums, hands in his pockets, rocking forward onto his toes and then back on his heels.
“You should,” he says eventually and then. “They miss you.”
Lewis breathes. “That’s not fair.” It slips out before he can stop it. He presses his lips together.
Mick shrugs. “No. But one of you has to reach out first and I don’t,” Mick stops, frowning a little. He never was good at criticising Sebastian. “I don’t think they will do it.”
Lewis picks up his helmet, splaying his fingers across the smooth cool surface. “Yeah.”
He does not say that’s not fair again. He does not say why do I have to be the one to reach out when they have each other, when I’m the one that’s alone. He does not say why is it always me that has to ask, why is it always me who has to be brave, why is it always on me.
“You are too like your dad,” Lewis tells him and Mick laughs, a little startled. He pulls on his helmet.
“Yeah?” It’s a testament, really, to the time and care Lewis and Mick have put into their relationship over the past year and a bit — hours in the sim, in meetings, Lewis ‘casually’ inviting Mick on walks with Roscoe because Sebastian won’t stop texting him, worried, and Mick, equally as casual, inviting him to the gym, because, Lewis suspects, Seb won’t stop texting him — that Mick is smiling, face relaxed, that he doesn’t automatically assume that this will sting.
“Yeah,” Lewis says, climbing into the car. “He is such a gossip, man.”
Mick laughs again, patting Lewis’s helmet, once, twice, before moving away.
—
Daniel texts back almost instantly when Lewis messages him, the tickmark going blue before he even has a chance to breathe.
omg mate did i see the recent love island????
did i????? ofc i did !!!!!! fucking mental
i cannot BELIVE that she still took him back. like. bro. what r u doing
Lewis laughs. He closes his eyes, pressing the tip of his phone against his forehead and swallows.
yeah man. shit is fucked. tommy is so much better for her. and that guy jack or smth???? what’s his deal??
—
Sebastian has flour on his cheek when he answers the phone, smile bright, wary. Something in his face softens, just slightly, when he sees Lewis.
“What are you making?”
“Hmm?” Sebastian frowns at him, tilting his head to the side. Lewis rolls his eyes, grinning, and gestures at his face. “Your cheek. You’ve got flour, man. You baking?”
“Oh.” Sebastian laughs, hand coming up to flutter at his hair for a moment before dropping. “Yes.” The screen blurs, Sebastian walking, and then Lewis is propped up against something, a window sill maybe, able to see the tiles of Sebastian and Daniel’s kitchen, the wooden island, Seb’s kiss the cook apron. His shirt is unbuttoned at the throat, gaping a little, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hands are also covered in flour.
“I am making sourdough,” Sebastian says, and lifts up a blob of light cream dough. “That recipe I did — a few years ago. Trying to recreate it.”
Lewis nods, holding the phone closer. Sebastian has yet to cut his hair and it curls around his ears, dipping into his collar. “The one you gave me?”
Sebastian pauses, watching his hands knead the dough before he grins, looking up. “Yeah, that one.”
“I liked that one,” Lewis says. “One of my favourites.”
Sebastian, because he is Sebastian and likes to poke at things to see what noise they make, to see if they’ll bite back, and because he cannot not celebrate an anniversary, had decided to bake Lewis a loaf of bread for their one year anniversary of Baku, back in 2018. Valtteri had laughed himself sick, nearly knocking the controller out of Lewis’s hand when he told him.
“Yeah,” Sebastian says, eyes very blue, even through the tiny screen. “I know.”
—
"Daniel has started texting me."
Lewis lifts his feet off the chair beside him, turning in his seat to look at Valtteri who flops into the now empty chair. He's frowning, mouth a flat line. He's holding two cups, steam wafting out from them. Lewis grins when he takes one, breathing it in to find it's hot chocolate.
"Okay," Lewis says, slowly, not sure what that has to do with him. Valtteri rolls his eyes, cheeks pink, when Lewis doesn't continue.
"Would you please fuck him or tell him that you won't ever like him like that so he will stop talking to me." Valtteri pauses, considering. “And soon, please, before Sebastian starts texting me too.”
Lewis blinks. "You do know that even if I do that, he won't stop?"
Valtteri grimaces, crossing his arms. "Whatever. I live in hope. At least if you tell him, he'll be a little less pathetic about it."
Lewis laughs, coughing as the hot drink burns his tongue.
"Careful," Valtteri says, handing Lewis a tissue, eyes serious. "It's hot."
Lewis kicks him and Valterri knocks his cap off trying to shove Lewis away so he won't spill his coffee.
—
"Can you reheat chicken in a microwave?"
Lewis puts the phone down on the ground beside him so he can stretch his legs out in front, grabbing his ankles and pulling. It's early - sun creeping over the buildings, glancing off the Monaco harbour, the morning chill still clinging to the damp grass. He hasn't seen a single person since he started running up one of the trails outside the city.
"You worry me."
Daniel's laugh is high and familiar, even through the tinny speaker. "C'mon, mate. The least you can do is answer my question if you're going to be a cunt about it."
Lewis grins, shaking his head, his hamstrings aching gently. "Yeah, you can microwave chicken, you asshole. Also, being concerned that you've gotten to the age of, what, 32? 33? Without knowing if you can reheat chicken in a microwave or not is not me being a cunt."
Daniel hums, laughing again, and there's a sticking sound of what sounds like wax wrapping. Lewis lets go of his ankles and presses his knuckles into his mouth, hard and firm. He flops back onto the grass, closing his eyes. He wonders if Sebastian's wax-clingfilm-and-tinfoil-alternative has the same pattern of bees as the one he gave Lewis a few Christmases ago.
"Aw, babe, I knew you worried about me. That's adorable, but you shouldn't stress your pretty little head about lil 'ol me. Seb isn't a bad cook."
Lewis throws an arm over his eyes. "Oh, yeah?"
Daniel clicks his tongue. A series of beeps and then the whirr of a microwave. "Yeah, pretty good, actually, if you ever want to pop over for a visit."
Lewis smiles. "Maybe I will."
“You should.” Daniel’s voice is warm and low. “And we’ve got chickens. You haven’t met them yet.”
“No, I haven’t.” Lewis says. “Should fix that soon, maybe.”
—
“Where’s Daniel?”
Sebastian raises an eyebrow, leaning back against the tires, arms crossed. He’s smiling, but then again, Sebastian is always smiling. “Hi Lewis, how are you? Me? Oh, I am doing okay. It has been ages since I’ve last seen you, I know.”
Lewis rolls his eyes, laughing, and reaches out to pull Sebastian in, who comes easily, hand curled around Lewis’s elbow, thumb tucked in. He smells of plain soap and this natural deodorant that he’s been trying out for the past year or so and his hair feels the same against Lewis’s cheek as it always used to, except maybe softer —
“You’re using the conditioner I sent you,” Lewis says, pulling back. He holds Sebastian by the shoulders, bony and strong. Sebastian’s smile widens, hunching in a little.
“I am.”
Lewis bites at his cheek, nodding. “Looks good.” He squeezes Seb’s shoulders one more time before letting go. Sebastian does not move back. He leans closer, ducking his head and looking up at Lewis. His runners are toe to toe with Lewis’s race boots. The laces are frayed and splitting, the sides of his shoes scuffed.
"You think so?"
Lewis follows the curve of Sebastian's wrist, the movement of his fingers, as he tucks a curl back behind his ear. His eyes narrow.
"Are you-?"
"Lewis."
Toto is frowning, half lifting his headphones away from his ear. He looks deliberately at the car and then back to Lewis. Mick is grinning at the screen in the chair beside him, shoulders shaking. Sebastian laughs, squeezing Lewis's hip.
"I'll see you after?"
Lewis hums, grabbing his balaclava off of Angela. "Yeah? You'll be here?"
Sebastian rubs at his eye with his middle finger, smiling. "Of course, I'll be here. Where else would I go?"
Lewis shrugs, pulling at the material, mouth dry. "Where's Daniel?"
Sebastian rolls his eyes, waving a hand, thick black ring catching off the light. "Ah, you know," he says, making a derisive noise in the back of his throat. "Off fraternising with the enemy. The traitor."
Lewis chokes on a laugh, soap and sweat filling his nose as he pulls of the balaclava, Angela holding his hair. "He works for them, you know. Which you used to do too."
Sebastian pulls a wounded face, mouth turning down, eyes wide. Lewis would think he looks like Charles but he suspects that Charles copied Seb. "I have seen the light since then. All grown up. Other things..." he swallows, looking away and back again. "Other things are more important to me now."
Something in Lewis goes quiet as he tugs on his gloves, chest still and hollow. He picks up a spare pair of headphones and throws them at Sebastian when he grins, quick and sudden, making a show of looking down between Lewis's legs and licking his lips. The helmet presses against Lewis's cheeks when he's in the car, squishing his smile back into his mouth.
—
Daniel is shirtless when he opens the door. He isn't wearing any pants either, clad only in a very small pair of boxer shorts that have little badgers on them and giant fluffy socks. He grins when he sees Lewis, leaning against the door frame with one arm, hip cocked.
"Fuck," he says, shaking his head. "You'd think I'd know better by now."
"What." Lewis fights back the urge to tuck his hands into the giant pocket of his hoodie, or to turn tail and run all the way back to Monaco, or maybe even England.
"To think I know you better than Seb does. Sebby! I owe you a blowjob!" Daniel calls over his shoulder. Lewis's eyes catch on Daniel's right thigh. He hasn't seen that tattoo before. He can hear Sebastian yell something back, deeper in the house, and Daniel laughs. "He knew you'd come."
"You bet on me coming here?" Lewis's voice sounds distant to him, fingers tingling. He grips the handle of his suitcase. "With blowjobs?"
"Lewis." Daniel's smile dims a little, eyes growing serious. He pushes off the door jam and steps closer. "It's called manifestation, I don't know if you've ever heard about it?"
Lewis is laughing when Daniel kisses him, hand curling over his, stealing his bag from him. His mouth is eager and wet and tastes of coffee and touthpaste. Sebastian is at the door when Lewis pulls away, Daniel following his mouth for a moment. Sebastian lifts up Lewis's suitcase, woolly jumper almost at his knees. "Can't leave now. Not without your stuff."
"Shit," Lewis says, tucking his now free hand into the waistband of Daniel's boxers, who presses up against him, completely shameless. "Guess I'm here to stay."
Sebastian's smile is blinding as Daniel's mouth opens easily under Lewis's, curls soft under his hands.
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