it’s me and my lack of self-awareness against the world

So I already know I’m the asshole here, I’m mostly wondering if it’s a YTA, JAH, or ESH situation. Or potentially I’m just treating this like a catholic confessional.

I (31, F) was on a 3 hour flight with my older sister; we had gotten aisle seats across from each other and 2 girls (I’m bad at ages, but both around 15, F?) sat next to her.

In the middle of the flight my sister tapped me to ask a question and as we were talking, I heard loud music/TikTok-esque noises. I asked my sister if she heard it and she replied that it was the kids next to her watching videos without headphones. They overheard us and one asked “Oh, sorry – is that loud?” to which my sister told them “Yeah, it’s really loud”.

At this point I put my earbuds back in, and my sister (thankfully) had noise cancelling headphones to put on. For important background, I am prone to headaches and migraines and am also neurodivergent and can get over stimulated, especially when I'm not anticipating a situation.

Flash forward to when we land – we pull up to the gate but another plane is still there so we have to wait. Normally on planes I’d keep my headphones in until it seems like people are moving, but I’d never sat this close to the front of the plane before and know I hate it when people waste time fiddling with their stuff when we’re all trying to leave. So, at this point I had already packed my thing away, as I didn’t want to hold anyone up.

However, when they announced we were landing someone near me applied A LOT body spray that was overwhelming to the point I had to cover my noise. Smells are a huge trigger for me with migraines, so I was staring to become nauseous with a headache, though thankfully with most of my usual auras. And on top of this while we were waiting, I was once again hearing music/TikTok noises, which was making me feel even worse. Normally I'm fine on planes and fly multiple times a year, but the unexpected, overwhelming, smells and noises combined to send me to a tipping point. Usually if I get overstimulated in public I just move or leave, but we were in an airplane so I was trapped in my seat.

I saw the guy diagonally from me in an aisle seat watching videos and thought it was him, and I tried to joke (you should never try to joke when you feel like shit – the tone is never going to be right) “Hey, if you’re going to watch videos that loud, you might as well let me watch too.”

Which was waaaaaay more bitchy then I meant it to be. The woman next to him commented “Oh my god, that is rude!” then seeing his face my brain caught up to the sounds I was mortified to realize it wasn’t actually him. I immediately, and profusely, apologized to him, and then my sister informed me that it was still the girls next to her. Considering we had, fairly recently, let them know they were too loud I was legitimately surprised and burst out without thinking “Oh my god, it’s still you?” They once again went “Oh sorry – we can turn it down?” and I again tried to joke, despite it not landing the first time, “Well, that or give me the phone so I can watch”

At this point the woman sitting behind them, who called me rude (rightfully) said “I’m their mother so talk to me, not the them.” I went, great, and told her they needed headphones. At this point she and her husband (next to her, window seat) started saying a lot of things that I don’t remember very well (see afore mentioned migraine and overstimulation) but I mostly remember it being passive aggressive comments about how they guess they’ll tell their kids to not watch TikTok loudly without headphones and me just trying to chipperly reply “awesome - thanks!”. I do remember the husband saying at one point “They do have headphones – it’s their choice if they use them or not.” Which thankfully, I had acquired enough situational awareness to not respond with my thoughts about that statement.

Once we got off the plane, and I felt less like vomiting, I realized I had snapped at these kids in a way that was way out of line. I truly don’t think they knew better, and even if they did I approached the situation in a bad way and really regret my outburst. Yeah, I had a migraine forming and was overstimulated, but that wasn’t their fault even if they were exasperating it. It especially wasn’t their fault considering their parents seemingly saw nothing wrong with their children watching videos without headphones on a plane while said children appeared oblivious.

So, while I know I as an asshole, I guess I’m asking - just how much of an asshole was I?

What are these acronyms?