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ryanjdonovan · 3 years

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DONOVAN’S OSCAR PROGNOSTICATION 2021

We all knew it was coming: The Oscar nominees are now almost literally handpicked by Netflix and Amazon. We thought it would be a few years away, but it's just one more piece of fallout from the pandemic. It won't be long now before I'm making my predictions for the Flixies or the Amazies. (By the way, streamers: I just want to watch the friggin' credits, why is that such a problem??)

In case you haven't been paying attention (and I'm pretty sure you haven't), Nomadland is going to win the big Oscars. Haven't seen Nomadland? Or even heard of it? Or any of the Oscar-nominated films? Or didn't even know the Oscars were happening this year? You're not alone. With no theaters this past year, the non-bingeable, non-Netflix-welcome-screen movies were pretty much an afterthought. (But if you asked the streaming services, the nominees this year each accounted for a billion new subscribers and topped the worldwide digital box office for months.)

Well, I'm here to tell you the Oscars are in fact happening, albeit a few months late. Fear not: my 22nd annual Oscar predictions will provide everything you need to know before the big night. (You don't even need to watch the movies themselves -- reading this article will take you just as long.)

BEST PICTURE:

SHOULD WIN: Minari WILL WIN: Nomadland GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Pieces Of A Woman INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: Ma Rainey's Black Bottom

If you're a fan of capitalism, this is not the year for you. Nominees like Nomadland, Mank, Judas And The Black Messiah, The Trial Of The Chicago 7, Ma Rainey's Black Bottom, Hillbilly Elegy, Minari, and The White Tiger are all (to varying degrees) indictments of a capitalist system, or at the very least are suspicious of those who benefit from it, and focus on those left behind. It's certainly fertile ground for angst and high drama, if not belly laughs. (Don't get me started on the ironies of all these movies being distributed by billion-dollar conglomerates. The filmmakers, producers, and actors can tell you that the checks cash just fine.) Like Austin Powers said, "Finally those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, eh comrades?"

There is no way for me to talk about Nomadland, which will win Best Picture, without sounding like an a-hole. It's a gorgeous work of art, and a fascinating character study, but I struggled to connect to the story. (You should know that for me as a movie watcher, story is more engaging than artfulness or character. But hey, why can't we have all three?) I wanted to like it, I really did. I'm content to drift along with Fern, the resilient main character played naturally by Frances McDormand, but she has no true objective or antagonist. She's a nomad on the road, either searching or hiding, either with the world or against the world, we're not quite sure which. I thought it might be driving (literally) toward a bigger revelation or resolution, but no. (Same with life, I guess.) It's meandering, reticent, languorous, and ethereal (I'm trying really hard to avoid using the word "boring" here). This is all quite intentional, by the way -- the film moves at the pace of its protagonist, and the effect is palpable. (And don't worry, it's not lost on me that I'm watching this movie about people barely scraping by, on a large ultra-high-def TV on my comfy couch in my warm home under an electric blanket, using a streaming service that the movie's characters probably couldn't access or afford.) Am I wrong about all this? Of course I'm wrong. Every critic out there is doing backflips over this film. And not surprisingly, the movie's mortality themes are playing well with the Academy, whose average age and closeness to death are extremely high. (Like the nomad Swankie, they're all anxious about that final kayak ride down the River Styx.) But beware the movie whose 'user/audience score' is significantly lower than its 'critic score' -- it means that regular people are not quite buying it. For me, the biggest problem with slice-of-life films is that I don't really want to go to movies to experience regular life -- I have life for that. Then again, I'm also a superficial, materialistic a-hole. But you knew that already. (Added intrigue: Hulu, Nomadland's distributor, might score a Best Picture win before Amazon, and gives Amazon a subtle middle-finger in the movie with its depiction of seasonal workers.)

Remember when feel-good movies were a thing? It didn’t mean that there were no conflicts or problems for the characters, it just meant that they were enjoyable to watch, and you came out feeling good about humans. Minari is the rare feel-good Oscar movie, and my personal pick for what should win Best Picture. It easily might have been a tough sit based on the premise: A Korean family moves to rural Arkansas to start a farm, and must overcome a drought, financial calamity, a complete lack of agriculture experience, a crumbling marriage, the son's potentially-deadly heart condition, and a grandmother that drinks all their Mountain Dew. In keeping with Oscar tradition, it could have been a constant assault of upsetting scenes. But instead, it's a warm, sunny, optimistic, funny movie. The family faces struggles and hardships, to be sure, but the story is treated with positivity, not negativity; with a sense of community, not isolation; with an attitude of resolve, not blame. And they get through their problems with mutual support, togetherness, tenderness, humanity, and of course, love. (Not to mention grandma planting some weeds that may or may not miraculously heal physical and emotional wounds.) All these things combine to make it a more engaging experience for me than Nomadland. Not only do I wish this movie would win the Oscar, I wish I could give it a hug.

A lot of pundits think The Trial Of The Chicago 7 has the best chance to upset Nomadland. But I'm not seeing that happen. It was an early favorite and has been getting tons of nominations in the awards run-up, but it hasn't actually been winning much, and seems to be losing steam. (The lack of a Best Director nod is virtually a killer.) I think Minari has a small chance to sneak away with a victory, as it's gotten almost as much universal praise as Nomadland, but hasn't had the same audience. Judas And The Black Messiah is an interesting case, in that it's a late entry that had little early awareness (it didn't plan to be eligible until next year's Oscars), but it scooped several unexpected nominations. Debuting a contender late and taking advantage of recency bias has been a successful strategy in the past, so don't be surprised by a surprise. (Had Shaka King scored the last Director slot over Thomas Vinterberg, I think Judas would be a fairly legitimate threat.)

If you had asked me in September, I would have predicted that Mank would be the wire-to-wire favorite to win Best Picture. Aside from being a prestige David Fincher film (more on him later), it's a smorgasbord of Classic Tales of Hollywood. And the centerpiece couldn't be bolder: It's an homage to, a making of, a dissection of, and political dissertation on Citizen Kane -- only the most deified film of all time. Simply recite the synopsis, describe the film's 1940s black-and-white aesthetic, and mention Gary Oldman's name as the star, and just watch the Oscars come pouring in, right? Well, not quite. It netted 10 nominations, more than any other film, but it's looking like it might not win any of them, certainly not Best Picture. I don't think the film quite knows what it wants to be; at least, I'm not sure what it wants to be. Centered on Herman Mankiewicz, the man credited with co-writing Citizen Kane with Orson Welles, it's a distorted, polemical, impressionistic portrait of a man I barely even knew existed. Though Welles is only briefly portrayed in the film, it demystifies him a bit, suggesting that he's maybe not as responsible for this work of genius as we thought. If the film was framed as "Who actually wrote Citizen Kane?", it would be a little easier to get into. But it feels somewhat academic and circuitous (in a way that Kane itself doesn't). And while the script is clever, it's clever to the point of being confusing. Of course, a film of this pedigree invites a lot of scrutiny, maybe more than any other awards contender (or any film that actually got released this past year, period). It has a lot to appreciate, and surely would benefit from a second viewing. I also can't help but root for the fact that it's been Fincher's passion project for almost a quarter-century. (Then again, tell that to any indie filmmaker who spends their whole life on a single passion project that ends up getting completely ignored, and they’ll tell you where to shove your Fincher pity.) Ultimately, it's an admirable work, but if you're looking for a Rosebud, it's not there.

Promising Young Woman continues to defy expectations. Not only did it rack up six Oscar nominations, it's likely to win one or two of them, and for a while, was gaining on Nomadland for Best Picture. Now that the chips are falling into place, we know it won't win in this category, but it remains one of the most talked-about films of the season. What I like most about the film is not necessarily the literal story (I should have seen the main twist coming a mile away), but the way writer/director Emerald Fennell elevates it in an interesting way. Instead of showing the whole story, she starts her film at the end of a typical revenge thriller (several years after the incident and the legal aftermath). In fact, the victim is not even in the movie, and the victim's best friend is already far along on her path of retribution. (It also challenges the definition of "victim".) The film is not voyeuristically exciting in any way; it's unsettling, but also oddly charming in unexpected ways. The key for me is how it serves as a metaphor for the secrets people keep from loved ones and the toll that it takes on them, and the penances we give ourselves instead of allowing ourselves to heal. It also made me realize that movies could use more Juice Newton. (Paris Hilton, not so much.)

Sound Of Metal and The Father were probably the last two films to make the cut in this category, and are the least likely to win. Their best chances are in other categories. (Pro Tip: If you put the word "sound" in the title of your movie, there's a very good chance you'll win Best Sound.)

I don’t recommend Pieces Of A Woman to anyone who's pregnant, or partners of pregnant women, or anyone planning to have babies anytime in the future, or any partners of anyone planning to have babies anytime in the future, or people hoping to be grandparents anytime in the future, or doctors. (And I'm certain midwives are not giving this a ringing endorsement.) The film starts with an infant death, and then gets worse from there. It's not just an unpleasant experience, it's a series of unrelenting unpleasant experiences: Depression, extra-marital affairs, guilt, a domineering mother, lying, manipulative spouses, abandonment, feelings of inadequacy, sexual dysfunction, litigation, sibling jealousy, public shame, borderline domestic abuse, bribery, courtroom drama, financial problems, baseless blame, and drug addiction. And if that's not upsetting enough, they also manage to throw the Holocaust in there. (This should be a movie sub-genre: "Parade of Horrible Events". This fraternity would include: Manchester By The Sea, Mudbound, Uncut Gems, 12 Years A Slave, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, The Family Stone, and of course, The Revenant.) And then there are the characters. It would be one thing if these were ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances. But these are extraordinary a--holes making extraordinary circumstances much worse. It's literally laughable. If I didn't understand what the word 'melodramatic' meant before, I do now. I'm aware that this is based on the experiences of writing/directing spouses Kata Wéber and Kornél Mundruczó, and I don't mean to trivialize their pain or what they went through. Nobody should have to suffer that trauma. And I realize art is a healthy and oftentimes beautiful outlet for grief. But… did I mention the movie is unpleasant? There are certainly wonderful fragments and ideas in here; if the components added up to something moving, I would be much more receptive to it. If I were a snarky (okay, snarkier) reviewer, I might call it "Pieces Of A Better Movie".

Soul is a lovely and inspiring movie, but I'm at the point where I have to judge films by my experience while watching them with children. Try explaining this movie to a 6-year-old. Way too many existential/philosophical/theological questions. I guess it's good for parents who like to talk to their children, but if you're trying to keep your kid occupied and quiet (the reason screens were invented) so you can do something else, it's a bust. (It's no match for the hysterical self-explanatory antics of a certain motor-mouthed, overweight, black-and-white, martial-arts-fighting bear with a penchant for sitting on people's heads and, more importantly, keeping kids silently dumbstruck.) And: Did they have to make the entrance to the afterlife -- a giant bug zapper -- so terrifying? If that's how you get to heaven, what is the entrance to hell like??

BEST ACTOR:

SHOULD WIN: Chadwick Boseman (Ma Rainey's Black Bottom) WILL WIN: Chadwick Boseman (Ma Rainey's Black Bottom) GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Pete Davidson (The King Of Staten Island) INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: Delroy Lindo (Da 5 Bloods)

This one hurts. I usually don't feel a connection to or an overabundance of sympathy for celebrities, but this one genuinely hurts. When Chadwick Boseman wins Best Actor (for Ma Rainey's Black Bottom), it will be a wonderful celebration, but also a painful reminder, not just of who he was, but of who he was yet to be. If ever there was a unanimous vote, this would be it. Before this movie, we had seen him play heroes and outsized personalities, but there had been nothing quite like his role as Levee, the gifted and demonized trumpet player in Ma Rainey's band. His brash, wounded performance is astonishing, revelatory. Since the film debuted after his passing, we can only watch it through the prism of his death. It's hard not to feel parallels: Levee is just starting to scratch the surface of his talent, giving us hints of his abilities with composition and brass before his breakdown; similarly, we have only gotten a taste of Boseman's range and depth. For both the character and the man, we're being deprived of the art he would have created. Boseman's passing makes the performance more resonant and unshakeable, but I think under different circumstances he would still be the front-runner in this race. The only difference would be, we'd assume this would be the first prize of many.

Anthony Hopkins picked an unusual time to go on a hot streak. He recently left a memorable impression on the Marvel Cinematic Universe as Odin, got an Emmy nomination for Westworld, and scored 2 Oscar nominations (after a 22-year drought) -- all after his 80th birthday. This year's nomination, for playing a man slipping into dementia in The Father, probably would have been a favorite to notch him his second Oscar in a different year. He seems like he should be a two-time winner, and we just don't know how many more chances he'll have. (I stand by my declaration that he should have won last year for The Two Popes, over Brad Pitt.) To those aforementioned aging Academy members who fear mortality and probably consider Hopkins a spry young man: Maybe you shouldn't watch this movie.

Riz Ahmed's performance in Sound Of Metal establishes the tone for the entire film, making the experience feel grounded and real. I appreciate how his outward, physical performance is very still, while his internal performance is frenetic, like there's a live wire in his head that he's trying to conceal from the world. His quietness leaves us with an uncertainty that feels like authentic; he's not going to tell us all the answers, because his character is figuring it out as he goes. Speaking of questions, I have a few about his band in the movie (before the hearing loss): Are they any good? What kind of living do they make? Is their cashflow net positive or negative? Are they considered successful (in whatever way you want to define that)? What is their ceiling, commercially and artistically? Are they one lucky break away from making it, or is it a lost cause? Most importantly, if Ahmed and fellow nominee LaKeith Stanfield (Judas And The Black Messiah) had a sad, doleful, wide-eyed staring contest, who would win?

Steven Yeun has been a recognizable face in film and TV (and a prolific voice actor) for a decade, but we haven't really seen him front and center until Minari. And after this bright, heartwarming turn, I think you can expect him to remain in the spotlight for the foreseeable future. His understated and remarkable performance carries this beautiful story of a family finding its path through a new way of life. Despite scant dialogue and minimal exposition, we seem to always know what his character is thinking -- that he's facing daunting odds but has a steel resolve. He and screen partner Yeri Han (who deserves as much credit as Yeun for this film) create one of the most tender crumbling marriages I've seen on screen in a long time. (Though a marriage counselor could have given his character some helpful "dos and don'ts" that might have saved him some headaches.)

What's more improbable, Mank's meandering, decades-long journey to the screen, or the fact that we're supposed to believe 63-year Gary Oldman as a man in his 30s and early 40s? Well, once his performance begins, it's so hammy that you forget all about the ridiculous age discrepancy. He's playing Herman Mankiewicz, whose bombastic writing and sozzled demeanor helped mold the script for Citizen Kane into the legend that it is. It's a bloviated, ostentatious, spectacular exhibition of affectation and panache that only Oldman could pull off. It's a lot of fun. (It must be exhausting to be his wife.) It’s as if Mank wrote the story of his own life... and gave himself the best part.

I'm naming Delroy Lindo for my snubbed choice, for his intense and crushing performance in Da 5 Bloods. I've been hoping he'd get an Oscar nomination for 20 years, and by all accounts, this was going to be his year. Even in the fall, after a slew of critics' awards, he was the odds-on favorite to win. So it was a disappointment that his name wasn't called when nominations were read. For now, he'll have to be content with being everyone's favorite never-nominated actor. (But here's to hoping The Harder They Fall is frickin' amazing, so he can end that drought next year.) There are plenty of honorable mentions this year: Adarsh Gourav (The White Tiger), Mads Mikkelsen (Another Round), and Kingsley Ben-Adir (One Night In Miami) come to mind. (By the way: How often do Kingsley Ben-Adir and Sir Ben Kingsley get each other's take-out orders switched?) But my runner-up is John David Washington (my snubbed pick two years ago), who undoubtedly became an A-List movie star in the past year… but not for the reason you think. Yes, Tenet was a blockbuster and the cinematic story of the summer, but he had special effects and storyline trickery supporting him. Instead, Malcolm And Marie is what stands out to me -- he has nothing but his performance (as abrasive as it is), and he still commands the screen and our attention. When he gets hold of a juicy monologue, he starts cooking… but when he starts dancing on the countertop? Look out.

BEST ACTRESS:

SHOULD WIN: Andra Day (The United States Vs. Billie Holiday) WILL WIN: Andra Day (The United States Vs. Billie Holiday) GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Anya Taylor-Joy (Emma.) INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: Jessie Buckley (I'm Thinking of Ending Things)

Coming down to the wire, we've got a race where three women have a chance to win, and the favorite depends on who you ask and when you ask. Carey Mulligan, Viola Davis, and Andra Day have each won precursor awards, and seem to leapfrog each other daily. Mulligan has been picked by most prognosticators, with Davis right behind. But I'm going to put my untarnished reputation on the line and predict a long-shot upset for Day. (And when that doesn't happen, I'm going to say that I actually thought Mulligan or Davis were more likely.)

Maybe I'm picking Andra Day because she's also my personal favorite, for her star-making debut in The United States Vs. Billie Holiday. The movie itself is serviceable but not stellar (some of the scenes and dialogue are absurdly expository), but Day is an absolute dynamo as the Lady Day. The film is a fairly rounded picture of her life, including her drug abuse, health issues, singing the controversial-at-the-time civil-rights song "Strange Fruit", and an investigation by the U.S. government (hence the title) -- all of which is intriguing for those of us not familiar with her personal story. (I'm sure you'll be shocked to learn that, despite my curmudgeonly ways, I was not in fact alive in the 1940s.) Day has seemingly come out of nowhere, because there was no early hype about the film, and nobody even saw it until a few weeks ago (and even now, it hasn't been seen by nearly as many people as the other contenders). Known primarily as a singer before this (I'm a big fan), she literally transformed her voice (straining her vocal chords, taking up smoking) to capture Billie Holiday's unique vocals. The singing alone might be enough to get her a nomination, but it's the dramatic work that puts her ahead of the field. More than any other nominee, we really get the feeling that she's laying her soul bare onscreen. Even for a seasoned actress, the depth of this performance would be impressive. Her film doesn't have the popularity or momentum that Mulligan's or Davis's do, so she's heading into Oscar night as an underdog. But if voters judge the actresses strictly on performance, not on the movies themselves, she might just pull an upset. And, if you haven't heard Day sing outside this movie, do yourself a favor: Stop reading this article (you might want to do that anyway) and browse her catalogue -- she has the best voice of any contemporary singer, period. Forget Billie Eilish, why isn't Day singing the next James Bond song?

Carey Mulligan returns to the Oscar game for the first time in 11 years, for Promising Young Woman. (Is she bitter that her performance in An Education lost to Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side? Probably not as bitter as I am.) Promising Young Woman is getting a lot of attention and accolades, and much of it is due to Mulligan's strong turn as Cassandra, a woman on a revenge crusade that has taken over her life. It's a layered performance; we see a lot of Cassandra's facades, but we don't know if we ever see the real person. Her best friend's rape and subsequent suicide has left her stunted; by the time we meet Cassandra, she's literally and figuratively become someone else. As rough as it sounds, Mulligan is able to make it… well, 'fun' isn't the right word, but 'enjoyable'. We see Cassandra refusing to sit or be bullied; she has agency and kinetic energy in situations where many do not or cannot. Whether or not the film works rests largely on Mulligan's shoulders; it's a good thing she's such a talented actress, because not many could pull it off. The more people see the film, the more she's been picked to win the prize. Will she get enough support for a victory? (Ms. Bullock, you owe her a vote.)

Out of all the nominated performances this year, Viola Davis's is the most amusing. Playing the titular singer in Ma Rainey's Black Bottom, it's clear she's having blast. When she's onscreen, Davis owns every single inch of it. She doesn't just drink a bottle of Coke, she guzzles the whole thing with gusto and verve, serving notice that this is going to be the most entertaining consumption of soda you've ever seen. And so it is with the rest of the performance. (Though the lip-synching is not particularly believable; but then again, that didn't hurt Rami Malek in Bohemian Rhapsody.) It will be interesting to see what happens on Oscar night. She's been up and down in the predictions. She was down after losing the Golden Globe (it's taken us until now to realize the Globes are a waste of time??), but rebounded strongly with a Screen Actors Guild win. She is universally adored, but she's also won an Oscar already for Fences, so voters may not feel quite as compelled to give it to her overall.

And we haven't even talked about Frances McDormand in Nomadland yet. Early on, this category seemed like a sprint between McDormand and Davis. But when neither won the Golden Globe or Critics' Choice, it became anybody's race. As we near the end of the contest, McDormand has pretty clearly fallen toward the back. I don't think it's her performance; instead, she's been discounted due to her own victorious history. She's already got two Oscars (in 1997 for Fargo and 2018 for Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri); a third one would require extraordinary circumstances. By comparison, it took Meryl Streep 29 years (and a lot of Ls) after her second to get her third. But if McDormand hadn't just won for Three Billboards three years ago, I think she'd be a lock here; Nomadland may even be a superior performance. She's probably the only actor alive that could pull this off; if she gave up acting, this is how I assume she would be living in real life. It's remarkable how she internalizes everything, yet informs the viewer how she's feeling and what she's thinking with very few words, just her physicality. This project seems particularly challenging. Her character doesn't have the answers; she's searching, but she doesn't even know what for. "I'm not homeless. I'm just house-less. Not the same thing, right?" It's as if she's posing the question to herself, and she really doesn't know. She gets lonelier as the journey goes on, a sort-of self-imposed isolation, and the viewer really feels it. (What does she ultimately find? Well, that's one of the frustrating ambiguities of the film. Don't get me started.) No matter what happens in this category, what McDormand will find is Oscar gold: She's a producer on Nomadland, so she's a strong bet to walk away with a Best Picture statuette.

Saying Vanessa Kirby is the best thing in Pieces Of A Woman is a bit of a backhanded compliment. My distaste for the film was made pretty clear in the Best Picture section, and anybody acting opposite Shia LaBeouf is going to look like Streep. But Kirby is legitimately great, and I think a welcome surprise to those who know her from the Mission: Impossible and Fast & Furious franchises. (And how many fans of The Crown thought Kirby would beat Claire Foy to an Oscar nomination? Don't lie.) Kirby makes the most of her role as an unpleasant person in an unpleasant situation enduring a barrage of unpleasant events surrounded by really unpleasant people. (An infant tragedy is the least of their problems.) But ultimately the film fails her, and unfortunately I don't really believe what any character is doing in this movie. Her nomination has been bolstered by a whopper of an opening scene: a 24-minute single-shot of a childbirth that ends horrifically. But I can't help but feel like the shot comes off as gimmicky; the immediacy of the scene was effective, but the filmmakers seemed to choose stylistic camera movement and choreography over intimacy and realness. The scene may be emotionally truthful, but hoo-eey, Kirby is dialed up. (My personal favorite ridiculous scene? When she's on the subway, wistfully watching children giggling pleasantly and behaving like angels. Ahhh, seems so blissful. Have you ever taken kids on public transportation? They would be fighting, screaming, climbing over the seats, kicking her, throwing goldfish everywhere, getting yelled at by the parents, bumping into passengers, licking the handrails, wiping snot on seats, and saying inappropriate things to strangers. That's parenthood.)

When the movie gods decided to create a remake that would be the exact opposite of what I would like, they conjured up Emma.. (That's "Emma.", with a period at the end of the title. Seriously. It's a "period" piece. Get it?) Anya Taylor-Joy is undoubtedly talented, but she's a letdown as the fabled matchmaker. She also believes that she can bleed on cue. With regard to her climactic scene: "I was in the moment enough that my nose really started bleeding." Wow. No words. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but her performance actually makes me miss Gwyneth.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR:

SHOULD WIN: LaKeith Stanfield (Judas And The Black Messiah) WILL WIN: Daniel Kaluuya (Judas And The Black Messiah) GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Shia LaBeouf (Pieces Of A Woman) INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: Glynn Turman (Ma Rainey's Black Bottom)

Can you have a movie with two main characters but no leading actors? If you're wondering why the two stars (and title characters) of Judas And The Black Messiah -- LaKeith Stanfieldand Daniel Kaluuya -- are both competing in the Supporting Actor category, congratulations, you're a human on planet Earth. That's Oscar politics for you, and it's nothing new. They are both unquestionably leads; nevertheless, the shift to Supporting has worked out well for both of them. The assumption was that Stanfield would campaign in the Lead category and Kaluuya in Supporting so as not to cannibalize each other's votes, and to have Kaluuya (the stronger awards bet) compete in the less crowded category. (It's been clear for half a year that Chadwick Boseman would be winning Best Actor.) Stanfield was considered an unrealistic shot to crack the nominees anyway (he was probably 8th for Best Actor, behind Delroy Lindo (Da 5 Bloods) and Tahar Rahim (The Mauritanian)). So when the nominations were read, it was a pleasant shock that he had been slotted in the Supporting Actor category. (And wouldn't you rather have him here than Jared Leto?)

But won't they split the vote, resulting in the very problem they were trying to avoid in the first place? As it turns out, no. Judging from other major awards, voters had made up their minds for Kaluuya long ago, so any votes to support this film will likely go to Kaluuya. It's not hard to see why: As Black Panther leader Fred Hampton, he's dynamic, steely, and charismatic. It's very different -- more confident, self-assured and domineering -- than we've seen him in other roles, like Get Out. (This movie is a like a mini-reunion of Get Out. Dang, now I want a sequel to Get Out.) But I'll be the dissenter, and cast my personal vote for Stanfield. I'm conflicted; they're a close 1-2. But for me, Stanfield's role (as an FBI informant infiltrating the Panthers) has more facets to play, and Stanfield's signature tenderness brings me into the character more. Plus, he also has the bigger challenge: he has to play the Judas (a role he initially didn't want). Like another character actually says to Stanfield in the movie: "This guy deserves an Academy Award."

Leslie Odom Jr.'s quest for an EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony) has hit a speed bump. Already armed with a G and a T, he was the presumptive favorite heading into the Golden Globes to collect more hardware, for playing singer Sam Cooke in One Night In Miami. But that was before anybody had seen Judas And The Black Messiah. As the lone acting nominee for Miami, he's got a lot of support from anyone looking to honor the film and its stellar cast. And as the singer, he gets to show off his lustrous Hamilton-honed pipes several times. In many ways, he's the most relatable character in Miami, the one that (despite Cooke's fame at the time) seems the most mortal. So though he'll lose Best Supporting Actor, fear not: He's the favorite to win Best Song, and keep the EGOT dream alive. (Unless… 12-time nominee Diane Warren finally gets the sympathy vote for her song for the little-seen The Life Ahead. Wait, you mean she didn't win for Mannequin's "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now"??)

Paul Raci is a fascinating nominee, for Sound of Metal. He was virtually unknown before this movie (best known as Eugene the Animal Control Guy on Parks And Recreation), but his background is intriguing. He's a Vietnam vet who started as a small theater actor in Chicago (he has a Jeff nomination!). With his upbringing as a hearing CODA (Child Of Deaf Adult), he's a frequent player in ASL theater and is the lead singer in an ASL metal band. (Am I the only one who was gotten CODA confused with ACOD (Adult Child Of Divorce)? Is there such a thing as ACODDA (Adult Child Of Deaf Divorced Adults)?) And in the understated role of Joe, who runs a facility for deaf people and serves as a guide for Riz Ahmed's character, he's fantastic. It literally seems like he's been preparing his whole life for the role, and it pays off. (Though upon further examination of his character… Joe seems like a benevolent, trustworthy guy with altruistic motivations, with a shelter focused on mental healing, addiction recovery, and self-sufficiency. But he also appears to foster an environment that isolates its members, severs contact with all loved ones, preys on those who are unstable to begin with, and convinces members that they will struggle if they leave the community. Ultimately Joe runs every aspect of members' lives, and in return expects unwavering devotion and complete submission to his methods. As soon as Ruben says one thing to challenge him, Joe accuses him of sounding like an addict, knowing it will trigger shame and self-doubt, in a clear effort to control his actions. Joe even slyly suggests that he personally knows how to reach heaven, "the kingdom of God". Is there a chance Joe is actually running a cult??)

They may have just picked a name out of a hat to see which member of The Trial Of The Chicago 7 ensemble would get an Oscar nomination (now these are all supporting actors), but however it happened, nomination day was a good day for Sacha Baron Cohen. (He also got a writing nod for Borat 2.) He is effective in the movie -- maybe the best of the bunch -- and it's a (slightly surprising) affirmation that he's a good actor in addition to being a talented performer. Is his performance actually worthy of an Oscar nomination? I'm fairly impressed (except for his I-love-you-too-man scene with the inert Eddie Redmayne, which plays cheap… but you can probably pin that one on Aaron Sorkin). But there are several other people I would have nominated over Cohen. For starters, my snubbed pick, Glynn Turman, is exceptional as a musician holding his own against Chadwick Boseman in Ma Rainey's Black Bottom. (It seems like just yesterday he was the colonel on A Different World, one of his 150+ acting credits.) Honorable mentions include 7-year-old Alan Kim (Minari), Clarke Peters (Da 5 Bloods), Charles Dance (Mank), and Arliss Howard (Mank).

Wow. Shia LaBeouf is not the only repellant part of Pieces Of A Woman, but he's probably the most repellant part. I'm sorry, but anything he does, or is involved in, instantly becomes less believable. At one point he seems to be trying to creepily make out with his wife… while she's actively pushing in labor. Then later, in a distressing "love" scene, he looks like someone who has never had consensual sex with a partner before; I know the film is going for emotional rawness, but it just looks like assault. Bottom line, I have no idea what he's doing in this movie. (And I guess I don't care what he's doing, as long as it's not another Indiana Jones movie.)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:

SHOULD WIN: Yuh-jung Youn (Minari) WILL WIN: Yuh-jung Youn (Minari) GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Nicole Kidman (The Prom) INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: Ellen Burstyn (Pieces Of A Woman)

Oh, sweet revenge. Don't you just love a rematch? It was just two short years ago when Olivia Colman, in a flabbergasting upset, tearfully apologized to presumptive victor Glenn Close in her acceptance speech. (…Or did she condescendingly mock her? We can't be sure about anything in that speech.) Now they are both nominated again -- Colman for The Father, Close for Hillbilly Elegy -- and the bad blood between them couldn't be boiling hotter. Since there are no nominee lunches or in-person media parades this year, I'm assuming they drunk-Zoom each other at all hours and call one another every cruel British and American curse word in the book. Colman even reportedly tweeted, "Glenn, this will be your Hillbilly Elegy: You never won a dang Oscar." Nasty stuff, but nothing unusual during campaign season. Colman is facing a tough challenge (besides playing a woman whose father is in the grips dementia). Voters will be hard-pressed to hand her a victory again so soon (and without any losses). Additionally, she didn't even get nominated for a BAFTA award -- the British Oscar-equivalent -- on her home turf (and they nominate six actors in each category). (But, she would be quick to point out, Close didn't either.) All the talk around The Father is about Anthony Hopkins. Colman is facing extremely long odds.

Which seems to perfectly set up Close to swoop in for the kill. Six months ago, on paper this seemed like a slam dunk. The word was that Hillbilly Elegy featured two of the losing-est actors (Close and Amy Adams) in transformative roles in a heart-wrenching adaptation of a successful book. It was going to exorcise the demons for both of them. Then the movie debuted. And the response was lukewarm. But then the response to the response was harsh. People hated the movie, hated the performances, and hated the participants for shilling shameless Oscar bait. (If you think there's a different kind of Oscar bait, I'm afraid you haven't been paying attention.) The film was weirdly derided as political, and faced a sort of anti-Trump backlash (which I don't understand, considering the movie takes place in the 1990s and early 2010s, when Trump was just known for being an inept USFL football owner and a silly reality-TV host). Entertainment Weekly actually used these words in a single sentence to describe the film: "ham-handed", "smug", "Appalachian poverty porn", and "moralizing soap opera". (I guess people felt about this film the way I felt about A Star Is Born.) And no, the movie is not great; it fades soon after the credits roll. But Close is compelling; at the very least, she's working her tail off. (If you think she's just hamming it up in drag, stay tuned for the end-credits images of the real Mamaw. It's uncanny.) I think the voters really want her to win (but I thought the same thing two years ago). The question is: Do they want her to win for this movie? The answer increasingly seems to be No. The general feeling (which I agree with) is that the role feels a little lacking, and below Close's other lauded performances. People realize that if she wins, it may get dismissed as being a flimsy career-achievement award, which would tarnish it.

So, which one will claim victory this time, leaving the other groveling at her feet, Colman or Close? Neither, it turns out. In a shocking turn of events, Yuh-jung Youn has emerged as a favorite over both of them. (Fortunately, she's blocked Colman and Close on Zoom.) Calling Youn the heart of Minari would be trite. She is, but she's much more than that. She's the conduit for connection: to the children, between the parents, and to the audience. Before her arrival, it feels like there's something missing. (The young son has a heart condition, is constantly chugging Mountain Dew, and is hiding his wet underpants. And the dad thinks he doesn't need a babysitter?) It's when Youn enters the film that the film excels, and we start to feel like part of the family. She also challenges our (and her grandson's) ideas of what a grandmother is (including possibly having magical healing superpowers). A lot of people are looking for a way to reward this film, and this category is its best chance. Heck, even if voters only hear Youn's one line of English dialogue ("Ding-dong broken!" -- referring to her grandson's wiener), that could be enough to win.

Maybe the most curious nomination is for Maria Bakalova, starring in Borat Subsequent Moviefilm as the notorious Kazakh's daughter. A lot of things in the past year would have been impossible to predict, but an unknown Bulgarian actress stealing the spotlight and getting an Oscar nomination for a surprise-release Borat sequel would have to be near the top. And she's actually the only one in this category who's managed to score a nomination from every major organization. She won't win, but her performance (and memes) may live on the longest.

I must be missing something in Mank. (Granted, I haven't watched it the requisite four times in order to truly appreciate it, according to the Fincherists.) But I just don't understand what the fuss is about with Amanda Seyfried. She certainly plays her part well (as Marion Davies, the illicit love interest of William Randolph Hearst and the platonic love interest of Herman Mankiewicz), but I don't see how she elevates it or brings anything extraordinary to it. Her character plays a pivotal role in Citizen Kane (Davies was the inspiration for Kane's second wife), and I presume she's supposed to play a pivotal role in Mank's literary epiphany, but I fail to understand why. (Or maybe I failed to understand her Brooklyn accent.) But more than that, her narrative thread seems distressingly incomplete. She appears to be set up for a meaty final scene, but then her character simply exits, leaving Mankiewicz (and me) baffled. I've been more impressed by her work in other movies, like First Reformed. Of course, perhaps the most significant implication of Seyfried's nomination: Two of the Plastics now have Oscar nominations. (Gretchen, stop trying to make an Oscar nomination happen. It's not going to happen!)

Just in case there was any confusion, 88-year-old Ellen Burstyn is here to let us know she can still bring the thunder. Pieces Of A Woman is a mess, and her character is dubious, but she gets one powerhouse speech to shine and (somewhat) anchor the movie -- a declaration of strength, resilience, and survival. And she delivers a two-handed, rim-hanging, backboard-shattering jam. Oh, right, there's the woman who scored an Oscar, plus four other nominations, in a 9-year span in the 1970s. And who's been an Emmy fixture the past 15 years. And who has four more movies already in the works. Just another not-so-gentle reminder that she's one of the great actors of her generation. (Honorable Mentions go to The United States Vs. Billie Holiday's Da'Vine Joy Randolph, who continues her scene-stealing ways after Office Christmas Party and Dolemite Is My Name; and Dominique Fishback, whose performance adds emotional heft to Judas And The Black Messiah.)

BEST DIRECTOR:

SHOULD WIN: Chloé Zhao (Nomadland) WILL WIN: Chloé Zhao (Nomadland) GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Ryan Murphy (The Prom) INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: Christopher Nolan (Tenet)

The second-most-certain thing this year is Chloé Zhao winning Best Director for Nomadland. She's dominated the narrative and the awards circuit this year; nobody else is close. In fact, she might win four Oscars, which would be a record for one person with a single film. (In 1954, Walt Disney was a quadruple winner for four different movies… but do short films really count?) Odds are that she'll win three, but if she wins Best Editing early in the night, the record will be hers. Historically joined at the hip, Best Director and Best Picture have surprisingly been split between different movies several times in recent years. The voters will align them this year, but I'm going to malign them. (Disalign? Unalign? Who am I kidding, I will malign them too.) As tepid as I am on Nomadland for Picture, Zhao is my Director choice. She is clearly a masterful artist and impressionistic storyteller. But more than that, she's able to conjure a mood and state of mind with her pseudo-documentary hybrid style. She gets us to feel what the character is feeling and put us right in the environment -- and makes it seem effortless. The film's long, languid takes allow us to breathe the air, drink in the scene, and live in the moment, unhurried. Zhao augments the nomadic quality of the film in every shot. But (oh, you knew there was a 'but'), on the down side, I also find the style to be a bit tedious and overdrawn at times. Because of my lack of investment, the film often struggles to keep my attention, or more accurately, my curiosity. And despite the film being touted as a tale of community and interconnectedness, it mostly suggests to me (via the main character) feelings of pain, loneliness, coldness, and sadness. But ultimately, I think those things speak more to the story than the directing. This will doubtless be a crowning a achievement for Zhao, but I'm more excited to see what the future will bring, and what she can do for a story that I'm invested in.

I was really close to picking Lee Isaac Chung for my Should Win, for his rich, captivating film, Minari. (Really close. You, the fortunate, insulated reader, will never truly know how much I agonize over this. Some suffer for art, I suffer for unsolicited criticism.) Honestly, I was tempted to give Chung a clean sweep of Picture, Director, and Screenplay; but instead I've opted to spread them around (I can play Academy politics all by myself). So many of the qualities of Zhao's film are present in Chung's film as well; his toolbox is just as full and varied. His quiet, atmospheric shots are unburdened by haste yet always nudging the story ahead. Chung draws us in, as another member of the Yi family, our hopes rising and falling with each challenge and trifle (and sexed chick) they face. There's a real confidence in his style; he knows how to best engage the audience for the specific journey. For me though, what I appreciate most is the warmth of his filmmaking; while the story has tribulations, the film itself is compassionate, never harsh or aggressive. That stands in stark contrast to Nomadland; the palette is one of the main things that sets them apart. Chung also scored points by showcasing the best accessory on the virtual Golden Globes telecast: a ridiculously adorable child. (Was that his own kid, or a rental? Only his publicist knows for sure.) Careful, I might accidentally talk myself into flipping my pick to Chung.

This was supposed to be his year. Goddammit, this was supposed to be his year! That was the sentiment from cinephiles all over the internet this year. Throw a rock in any direction and you'll hit a podcaster (and possibly me) ranting about how David Fincher was robbed in 2011 when he lost Best Director for The Social Network to Tom Hooper and The King's Speech. (Was the Academy justified? Since then, Fincher landed a third Oscar nomination, fourth Golden Globe nomination, and two Emmy wins; Hooper directed Cats.) In early winter, the pieces seemed to be lining up for a Fincher victory with Mank: a big, mainstream, Hollywood-y underdog story; an ode to the most revered film of all time, Citizen Kane; a scenery-chewing performance from beloved thesp Gary Oldman; a film that was more accessible (read: less weird and violent) than most of his other fare; and a passion project that he had been developing for decades, written by his late father. The only question was not whether the film could win all the Oscars, but whether it could cure pediatric cancer or pilot a rocket to Jupiter. But that was 2020… and we all know how that year went. Maybe it's the fatigue caused by the prolonged award campaign season, maybe it's the lack of theaters that would have showcased his visual marvel, or maybe it's the fact that the film didn't quiiiiiiite live up to the hype, but one thing is clear: Fincher is out of the race. I'll say what a lot of the other film snobs won't: This is probably not the film we want Fincher to win for anyway. We want him to win for something sharper, weirder, more incisive, and more upsetting; in short, something more Fincher-ish. Mank is fantastic, to be sure; and in (mostly) pulling it off, Fincher demonstrates his mastery of historical and contemporary cinema. But the hiccups are puzzling. The film is structured like Citizen Kane itself, which makes it at times equally difficult to engage in; but while Kane's flashbacks feel natural, a handful of Mank's feel shoehorned. The dialogue is in the style -- but not the pace -- of hard-boiled 1940s films, which alone is a recipe for difficult viewing; further peppering every retort with unnatural irony makes for wit but not necessarily comprehension. The Kane-esque echo effect doesn't help; neither do subtitles. (I tried.) While it turns out that it's not supposed to be his Oscar year after all, I commend Fincher on an effort like this -- the singular vision, the vigor, the risk -- even when I don't necessarily love the movie or connect with it. We need his art, we need his beautiful mess. (But next time maybe throw in a grisly murder, perverted romance, or crippling heartbreak… and acquire a charming child for the awards telecast.)

Emerald Fennell impressively scored a nomination for her first feature film, Promising Young Woman, an inventive genre-mashup of a Rape Revenge movie -- a new spin on a 1970s grindhouse staple. Like a lot of people, I don't quite know what to make of the movie (I don't think I've ever actually seen a Rape Revenge movie… though I've seen plenty of Dognapping Revenge movies). It's a film that could go badly a thousand different ways, but Fennell makes choices that keep it fresh and thoroughly watchable. The primary word that comes to mind is 'subversive'. From the candy coloring to the pop music to the meet-cute to the campy suspense, she toys with convention at every turn (in some cases more effectively than others). Even the support casting -- the kooky, on-the-nose (or 180-flipped) cameos spice up the movie, but also tend to undermine it and give it a B-movie vibe. (Do we really need Jennifer Coolidge and Max Greenfield doing what they do best, but not as well as they usually do it? Probably not. Do they make me chuckle? Yes.) The result is an oddly entertaining movie on a subject that is anything but. The patina of playfulness is helpful; if it was an avalanche of distressing, horrifying scenes, it could be a tortuous watch. All in all, it might be the most enjoyable Rape Revenge movie you'll ever see.

Perhaps the biggest surprise nominee in any category is Thomas Vinterberg, for the Danish film Another Round. (The lion's share of the Oscar buzz had been for star Mads Mikkelsen; the film is also up for Best International film.) This movie is in the grand tradition of celebrating alcohol because excessive drinking is awesome. And the Academy has recognized Vinterberg because he has so astutely captured how booze is a tasty balm for every wound -- an ancient and failsafe key to enlightenment and inner peace. Wait, what's that? I'm sorry… I'm being told that this movie is actually a cautionary tale. Hmmm. I guess I should have watched it sober. In light of that, I suppose the film is an interesting examination of middle-aged ennui and the tendency to overlook that which is right in front of you. (Anyone that has gotten this far in the article knows exactly what ennui is, and should have overlooked what was right in front of them.) It's also an unintentionally apt allegory for pandemic life: When it started, we began drinking a bit at home, enjoying Zoom happy hours, and generally having a good time; pretty soon we were day-drinking out of sheer boredom, trying to teach our home-schooled kids long division while buzzed, and it got very sad and depressing; now we're all pretty much ready to jump off the pier. In general, I like the film (though I prefer my mid-life drinking crises more in the mold of Old School), but the story and arc are fairly telegraphed. You mean their problems can't be fixed by increased alcohol consumption? The more you drink, the harder it is to control? Drinking at work as a teacher around minors might go awry? Instead of booze, have they tried rest, exercise, healthy eating, or appreciating the good things in their lives? (Who I am kidding, those are a waste of time.) Ultimately, there are several directors I would have chosen over Vinterberg (Christopher Nolan for Tenet, George C. Wolfe for Ma Rainey's Black Bottom, and Florian Zeller for The Father come to mind), but it's interesting to see the continuing trend of nominating non-American filmmakers in this category, as the Directors' branch of the Academy becomes increasingly international.

I want to talk about the ending of Another Round for a moment. If you didn't see the movie (and I'm betting you didn't), just skip this paragraph. Most of the reviews I've read online interpret the ending as a hopeful, happy one. I think that's crazy. The ending is a Trojan horse. It looks joyful, but just underneath lies tragedy: The trio resume drinking after they've seemingly hit rock bottom and lost their best friend to booze; they believe they're in control and having a good time when really they're spiraling into chaos; they think they've found a balance, when they're actually sliding endlessly further into alcoholism. They don't realize that they cannot enjoy life sober. I think one of the reasons why I like the movie so much is that it masks that ending as a "happy" one, much the way a drinker would see it when they don't realize there's a problem. The ending is denial. A lot of people have seen the final scene as uplifting and life-affirming (even Vinterberg seems to say this in interviews, which is puzzling), that the friends have come to terms with their drinking, and have found a way to drink in moderation and still invigorate their lives and celebrate the small things. I don't understand that take at all. I would buy it if they had found a way to celebrate life while sober. Instead, I think it's the surest sign that they are destroying their lives, because they don't even realize it's happening. It's the 'darkest timeline'. They ask themselves the wrong question, "What would Tommy do?", instead of "What would Tommy want us to do?", and we know exactly what Tommy would do because we see him drink himself to death. Martin has gotten a reconciliatory text from his wife, but just as he's about to go to her, he instead joins the party, quickly gets plastered, and literally goes off the deep end. What's truly heartbreaking is seeing that they've (gleefully and unknowingly) perpetuated the cycle, having encouraged the next generation to drink in order to cope and be "awakened to life". I think there are hints in the final song lyrics ("What a Life") and the movie's poster (the image of Mikkelsen recklessly chugging champagne in a blurry stupor is from the final scene). To me, the seemingly exuberant ending is a fallacy… and utterly tragic.

In a surprise move that everyone saw coming, I'm naming Christopher Nolan as my Snubbed choice, for his twisty, backwards-y spectacle, Tenet. Did I understand the movie? Of course. Oh, you didn't? Dummy.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY:

SHOULD WIN: Derek Cianfrance, Abraham Marder, Darius Marder (Sound Of Metal) WILL WIN: Emerald Fennell (Promising Young Woman) GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Aaron Abrams, Brendan Gall (The Lovebirds) INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: Sam Levinson (Malcolm And Marie)

Did his name have to be Ryan? No, that wasn't my biggest takeaway from the script for Emerald Fennell's Promising Young Woman. But it was a big one. As Carey Mulligan's chances fade a bit, Screenplay is the movie's strongest chance to strike gold, making a strong run in the precursory awards. The ending of the film has been pretty divisive, but I like that it's completely unexpected. Maybe it's contrived, but it's what makes the movie memorable for me, and separates it from other revenge thrillers. Or maybe it's inevitable, given the themes of the movie and the character pursuing her mission past the point of no return. Either way, did his name have to be Ryan? Unless Fennell's role (she's an actress, too) as Camilla Parker Bowles on The Crown accidentally embroils her in recent royal family controversies, she should be collecting this award on Oscar night.

Most of the praise for Sound Of Metal has been specifically for its sound design. But it starts with the script (written by director Darius Marder, along with Derek Cianfrance and Abraham Marder), which is the blueprint for the sound and experience of the movie. And it's my pick (by a hair) for best screenplay of the year. It has -- hey, whaddya know! -- an actual narrative, with a main character who has an objective and opposition. It's always impressive to me when a story has very little I can directly relate to, but it still manages to resonate, and strikes a tone that feels real. I also appreciate the skill in the writing -- it's minimalistic, yet thorough in the ways that matter. The film doesn't explain a lot or give us much exposition -- it doesn't lean on voice-over, window characters, or monologues. It's quiet. Which may seem obvious considering it's about a man losing his hearing, but even the man himself and the real world he lives in have a muted vibe (despite his mind being anything but calm). The film has also been lauded for its authentic portrayal of deaf people… but not for its authentic portrayal of audiologists. (I mean, how bad is Ruben's audiologist consultation, that he is in no way prepared for how things would sound after getting cochlear implants? I get more information from my dentist when getting a cavity filled.) Also: What does metal sound like? I still don't know.

Aaron Sorkin would seem like the obvious pick here, for The Trial Of The Chicago 7. It's the kind of sonorous, social-consciousness word-porn we've come to love and expect from him. But he's already got an Oscar (though most people assume he has three), and the fight-the-system theme isn't exactly unique to his script this year. Not surprisingly, the movie feels like a mash-up of The West Wing and A Few Good Men, complete with humorous exchanges of smug cleverness, heart-warming declarations of overly-simplified principle, and his own trademark Sorkin-esque version of facts. Sure, the story of the Chicago 7 is intriguing, but would I rather watch a movie about a Chicago 7-Eleven? It's tempting…

I've previously talked about the reasons I appreciated Minari so much (written by director Lee Isaac Chung). A lot of the sweetness of the film is present in the screenplay. He cleverly tells much of the story through the eyes of a 7-year-old boy, so it's told less fact-by-fact, and more through the filter of a child's memory. (Chung based the screenplay somewhat on his own experiences growing up.) Charming as it is, I can't help but view it through the filter of a parent's anxiety: 1) Is moving across the country to live in a small town where you don't know anyone, living in a trailer, and starting a farm with zero experience the best way to solve marital problems? 2) One of the main promotional photos for the movie is a of the little boy holding a stick. Am I crazy, or is that the same stick that the father was going to use to beat the boy when he disobeyed? Did the marketing person keep their job after that? 3) The friend's deadbeat dad leaves the kids alone overnight, presumably out carousing and drinking, then shows up at breakfast hammered, saying, "Tell your mom I was here all night." How many times can you get away with that? 4) When the boy cuts his foot, is it bad that I did not think of the wound or his safety, but about the blood getting on the carpet? 5) Why aren't these kids in school??

Perhaps the script (and movie) with the biggest head of steam coming into awards night is Judas And The Black Messiah, a late entry that has been picking up acolytes left and right. The film has been lauded for its approach to the story of Black Panther leader Fred Hampton -- by telling it as a gritty, 70s-style, cat-and-mouse thriller, from the perspective of the FBI informant sent to help stop him. Director Shaka King (who wrote the script with Will Berson, based on ideas from the Lucas Brothers) has said that structure, instead of a more traditional biopic style, helped get it made by a studio. Despite the inevitability of the ending, the dramatic conflict and ferocity of the performances make for a satisfyingly tense ride.

This is going to come back to bite me, but my snubbed pick is Malcolm And Marie (or, as it should have been called, Things You Shouldn't Say To Your Girlfriend At 2 AM When You're Drunk And She's In A Bad Mood). It's like a really long Bad Idea Jeans commercial. Now, I'm not necessarily recommending this movie. You should know that most critics and regular people hate it. It's two hours of a couple arguing. It's a rough ride. It's indulgent, overwrought, and well, chock-full of mental and emotional abuse. But (stay with me here), if you can get past all that, those elements have a purpose, and there is a point to the film. I think the key is that it's not intended to be literal. It's allegorical for how we talk to ourselves -- the internal conflict we have, when we wrestle with ideas that are hard to reconcile. It's also lyrical; there's an elegance in how the characters spew eloquent vitriol at each other and rhapsodize (okay, rant) about some opinions that seem dead-on and others that seem wildly inaccurate. In some ways, the words seem like the most important thing; but in other ways, I think the movie could work as a silent film. (Either way, it's inventive: It was the first major film to shoot completely during the pandemic, so it takes place in a single home, with 2 actors, in more-or-less real time.) Writer/director Sam Levinson poses interesting questions about storytelling and authorship: Sure, write what you know; but also, and maybe more interestingly, try to write (and learn) about what you don't know. (Case in point: I don’t really have any experience or expertise about the Oscars, yet here I am.) Levinson has gotten a lot of criticism for what appears to be his point of view. I think that's fair, but I also disagree. I believe it's a bit of a misdirection. I think he believes in both sides of the argument; he's been the irrational, emotional one, and the cool, calculating one. The characters are halves to a whole. There's also the frustration with how the couple end up. The film is ambiguous, but audiences seem to think they stay together. I think the girlfriend actually decides before the movie starts that she's leaving him, and this is their breakup. That's why she lets him say all the horrible things he does, because she knows he has to get it out -- it affirms what she already knows, and reinforces her decision. Did I sell you on the movie yet? No? Well, how about this: It's the best autobiographical movie that Burton and Taylor never made.

As an honorable mention, it would have been a nice story had Mank been nominated here, as it was written by David Fincher's father, Jack Fincher, over two decades ago. The elder Fincher was a life-long newspaper man, who had an affinity for 1930s/1940s cinema, a strong knowledge of Herman Mankiewicz, and a fascination with a famously-dissenting Pauline Kael article that disparaged Orson Welles's contributions to the Citizen Kane screenplay. David Fincher had hoped to get his passion project off the ground in the 90s, but hasn't been able to until now. A nomination would have been a touching tribute to his father, who died in 2003. (Another interesting connection: John Mankiewicz, Herman Mankiewicz's grandson, was an executive producer on David Fincher's House Of Cards.) Despite my frustrations with the overall movie, the script is slick, and analyzes some intriguing inside-the-snowglobe aspects of Citizen Kane. It's a crackling, showy piece that jauntily goes out of its way to flaunt its writerliness. (For you keen-eyed writers out there, you'll notice I just made up the word 'writerliness'.) It doesn’t necessarily require you to believe that Citizen Kane is the greatest film ever made, but a healthy sense of awe doesn’t hurt. (It also helps to have a working knowledge of the film's lore, pre-WWII Hollywood, and 1930s -- or some would say, 2020s -- California politics.) The script simultaneously adores and gives a middle finger to Hollywood. Isn’t that what art is supposed to do? (That's not a rhetorical question. I'm actually asking if art is supposed to do that. Because I don't know.)

I've picked The Lovebirds as my Gloriously Omitted choice, not because it's a bad movie, but because it's a missed opportunity. It should have been amazing. The premise, the trailer, the choice of leads, and the chemistry are all fantastic, and set lofty expectations. But the movie itself is just… underwhelming. Maybe hopes were too high, but it's not as clever, tight, or funny as I wanted it to be. The problem isn't the actors -- Issa Rae truly holds the screen, and Kumail Nanjiani is naturally funny (though his character doesn't stray far from previous ones). I think it's the script (from Aaron Abrams and Brendan Gall), which feels rushed and half-baked, like a collection of sketch ideas. It's as if the screenplay left chunks blank, with a note saying, "The actors will figure out something funny on set." For these actors, I'd rather see a taut thriller story, and let them imbue it with humor and humanity. Or better yet, let Rae and Nanjiani write it themselves next time.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY:

SHOULD WIN: Christopher Hampton, Florian Zeller (The Father) WILL WIN: Chloé Zhao (Nomadland) GLORIOUSLY OMITTED: Jane Goldman, Joe Shrapnel, Anna Waterhouse (Rebecca) INGLORIOUSLY SNUBBED: Ruben Santiago-Hudson (Ma Rainey's Black Bottom)

Adapted Screenplay is going to get swept up in the Nomadland tidal wave on Oscar night, but to me it's probably the film's weakest element. I've talked about my lack of connection to the story. I understand the opinion that it's resonant, but is it revelatory? I can certainly see how it would strike a stronger chord during the pandemic, when we are all isolated; it makes the main character's loneliness feel more real. We've all been living in Nomadland, and whether it's David Strathairn shattering our favorite plates, or our kids shattering our iPad, we're just about at wit's end. But Chloé Zhao's script also plays up the theme of community and interconnectedness, and I didn't really feel that. The main character seems to be closing herself off from connection (though the ending suggests a change that we never actually get to see). A red flag is a movie description that says, "It asks more questions than it answers." Ugh, that's tough. For me, narrative is king. I understand that the movie is literally about a drifter with no plan, and the structure of the film is supposed to make you feel unmoored, but a little plot direction would be nice. Then there's the emotional climax, when Bob the Nomad Guru comes to the rescue to explain the whole theme. He tells Frances McDormand (but really, us) that he gets through grief by helping other people: "For a long time, every day was, How can I be alive on this earth when he’s not? And I didn’t have an answer. But I realized I could honor him by serving people. It gives me a reason to go through the day. Some days that's all I've got." Hmmm, where I have I seen that exact sentiment expressed before? Oh yeah, an award-winning short film called Through The Trees. (Available now, for free on YouTube.)

Dementia Mystery Thriller… is that a movie genre? Well, it might be, after success of The Father (written by Christopher Hampton and Florian Zeller, adapted from Zeller's Tony-winning play). "Exciting" is hardly the word I would use to describe the horrible crumbling of the mind that is dementia, but in this movie, it weirdly fits. The film has a way of presenting the disorder in a unique manner, that goes a long way in conveying the helplessness and frustration of the victim. With copycat movies inevitable, I can almost see Christopher Nolan's version now: Demento, where a mumbling Tom Hardy (unrecognizable under heavy old-man makeup) kills his caregiver twice because he can't remember if he already killed her… or her identical twin. The big twist comes when he discovers whether he killed them in the past, or in the future, or if he's remembering the memory of someone else who killed them. The scenes of the movie play in a different random order every time, and the only score is the constant deafening sound of the old man's heartbeat. Marion Cotillard plays the twins -- apparently the only females in the universe -- using whatever accent she feels like, because she has limited, unrealistic dialogue, and has no compelling story or agency, or any useful traits for an actress whatsoever. Hardy's son may or may not be a British crime lord or an undercover MI6 agent, played by Michael Caine (digitally de-aged to look the age that Hardy actually is). An emaciated Christian Bale, who manages to lose 3 inches of height for the role, makes a cameo as Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Revolutionary practical effects include a life-size recreation of Westminster Abbey inside a zero-gravity chamber, for one massively-complicated but forgettable 5-second shot. It will only cost $723 million, and will go straight to HBO Max. I will name it the best film of 2022.

I may be picking The Father, but I'm rooting for The White Tiger, written and directed by Ramin Bahrani. Set in India in the recent past, it's a striking, chilling tale of what men may be willing to do (or forced to do) to escape poverty. Bahrani constructs a fiery examination of themes that never get old: power vs. agency, freedom vs. choice, complicity vs. culpability. His script uses a lot of devices that shouldn't work: excessive, expository voice-over; explicitly-stated metaphors; speaking directly to the audience; and on-the-nose correlations to current times. But the story and acting are strong enough to make these feel integral. Given the themes and foreign setting, it has the misfortune (or great fortune) of being an easy comparison to Parasite, last year's Oscar grand prize winner. But I find The White Tiger far more accessible and scrutable than Parasite (maybe partly due to the devices I mentioned). A win here would be a welcome surprise. By the way, Bahrani's first Oscar nomination is an interesting footnote to Hollywood lore: In the 2014 Roger Ebert documentary Life Itself, we learn that Ebert was given a legendary token by Laura Dern -- a puzzle that had been passed on from several film icons, with the understanding that each would pass it on to someone truly deserving. Dern had gotten it from revered acting teacher Lee Strasberg, and it originated when Alfred Hitchcock gave it to Marilyn Monroe years before. And now Ebert was giving it to Bahrani. 60 years of movie history, from Hitchcock to Bahrani, and into the future. (Good thing it's not at my house, we would have lost several pieces by now.)

Four of the most famous and popular men in the country walk into a bar… so shouldn't the patrons be freaking out more? One Night In Miami plays out a very intriguing hypothetical scenario: When Malcolm X, Muhammad Ali, Jim Brown, and Sam Cooke all met one night in 1964, what did they talk about? The compelling script (by Kemp Powers, based on his own play) and naturalistic direction (by Regina King) make for a highly enjoyable think-piece and character study. It's a daunting task, to say the least: Not only are they representing extremely visible and important figures, but two of the actors (Kingsley Ben-Adir as Malcolm X, Eli Goree as Ali) are reprising roles already played by Oscar-nominated performers (Denzel Washington, Will Smith) who may be more famous than the actual figures themselves. I guess my hang-up (besides the horrendous Johnny Carson impersonation) is, what are the stakes? Historically, we know the stakes for these four people, in the larger context of their lives and the civil rights movement. But in the film itself, in that single night, for these specific characterizations, what are the stakes? What are they each looking for that evening? I think the movie doesn't fully address this, structurally. Ultimately, due to their fame, we know where the characters' lives go from here -- how it "ends". While that makes it interesting culturally, it feels like it puts a ceiling on the movie in a way, like it's holding something back. With these outsized characters, plot-wise, I wanted a little bit more.

Released in October with almost no warning, Borat Subsequent Moviefilm either single-handedly swung the presidential election, or had no absolutely no impact whatsoever, depending on who you ask. It's a rare feat for an original movie and its sequel to both score Oscar nominations for screenplay; I can't think of another time it's ever happened for a comedy. The fact that it's even under consideration -- given its improvisational nature and whopping nine (nine!) screenwriters (I'm not going to name them all, I'm trying to keep this article brief) -- is fairly astonishing. Even more baffling still, it's been placed in the Adapted category instead of Original. (Pesky Academy rules: Any sequel is automatically defined as an adaptation of the original.) The movie itself is unfortunately a shell of the unrelentingly funny original (Sacha Baron Cohen looks more like a middle-aged man doing a mediocre Borat impression at this point). When the big night arrives, the film will either single-handedly swing the Oscar vote, or have absolutely no impact whatsoever, depending on who you ask.

One of the biggest surprises on nomination day was the exclusion of Ma Rainey's Black Bottom from Best Picture and Best Adapted Screenplay, assumed to be a lock in both categories. It was even thought to contend with Nomadland in this category (it would have gotten my vote, had they asked me). I think it was diminished by the perception of being a fairly straight recreation of August Wilson's play, which is a shame. The film version (written by Ruben Santiago-Hudson) makes wonderful use of the physical space, the confinement, the claustrophobia. And I'd say the movie feels more like an album than a play -- a collection of "songs" (monologues, exchanges, and actual songs), each with its own rhythm, beat, lyrics, and theme, but coming together as a cohesive piece. The composition is effective; it draws you in the way the best albums do, and challenges your brain to think one thing while your heart feels something else. (My only complaint is that I wanted more of Viola Davis and Chadwick Boseman together! Their personalities are electric, and their personas overtake the room. Their conflict is brief (it mostly flows over to conflicts with other characters), and I really wanted to see them alone, head-to-head and unbridled. I realize their distance is purposeful, and important thematically, but damn, it could have been a showdown for the ages. Just another reason to wonder… What might have been?)

The remake of Rebecca was written by a few people, including Joe Shrapnel, whose name may have been a bad harbinger for what was to become of this script. Keep it simple: Please leave Hitchcock alone.

#oscars #oscarpredictions #oscarpredictions2021 #oscarprognostication2021 #donovansoscarprognostication2021 #oscars2021 #academyawards #academyaward

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sawdustandgin · 3 years

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A Year of Happiness, Joy and Sarcasm: My 2020 in Review

Absolutely nothing needs to be said about the year of our lord 2020 that hasn’t already been shouted from every social media platform like a shrieking alarm alerting us that the ship is sinking. We know. We’re all wet.

I will not remember 2020 as mask-clad because I didn’t take any photos while wearing one.

Every December, I reflect on the year through a short essay, allowing myself many opportunities to gush about the music that I didn’t include on my best-of lists but that I still loved dearly. (Though I guess I skipped last year. I found an abandoned draft the other day…) And consistently, I have regarded each year as one of transition.

I don’t have clear career aspirations outside of wanting to engage with music as deeply and personally as I can; my only concrete life plan is to profile small towns across the country through the lens of its local music scene. So, with this nebulous image of a future endeavor, I have had a tumultuous time with money since losing my job two years ago. I realized fairly quickly, after only a few months of foundering at it, that I was unable to freelance my way to a liveable income. And in all honesty, this was for the best—nothing hurts worse than realizing the activity you are most passionate about has become a chore. I stopped worrying about pitching editors and trying to rub elbows, and I got to work applying for jobs. I, incredibly luckily, secured one after a few more months. The adjustment to being unemployed was a leap for me and my deep desire for a routine, but the adjustment to being employed and trying to maintain a balance between day job and side gig was even harder.

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Then I loosened up a bit. Toward the end of last year, I tried to make a vow to be more consistent with the blog, but instead, I prioritized sleep. At the time, I didn’t realize that it was an either/or scenario and probably would have made a greater effort to avoid my television if I had. But ultimately, I had to accept that my relationship with music journalism was on my terms. And regardless of how [in]frequently I ‘discovered’ new artists (for myself), I wasn’t ‘missing out’ on anything.

And let’s be real, I wasn’t overly eager to listen to new stuff starting around April. I put so much energy into not losing myself in quarantine that I tuckered myself out before shit really hit the ceiling. When I began thinking toward my year-end lists in November, I began to worry that this would be my most deflated best-of season in recent memory.

That’s ok, Zoë, no one really cares about top ten lists, I can hear you thinking, colored by a fascination with my determination. But as a double cancer and pisces moon, I like to cling to the art that moves my soul (read: ~nostalgia~). And so I take great joy in spending all of December and most of January repeatedly listening to my favorite music until I conjure a partially arbitrary ranking system and create playlists galore. It really is the best time of the year.

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Of course, there are always a few titles that need no additional spins, whether due to automatic disqualification or simply because I listened so much that I know it intimately. The automatic disqualifications this year were particularly striking.

A few easy omissions were Chromatica, Positions, and Fetch the Bolt Cutters. Lady Gaga delivered her skip-less album around the time when it became clear that the pandemic was not even somewhat close to containment; my roommate and I cooked to Chromatica every night, singing along to every word. With each new record, Ariana Grande becomes a more graceful songwriter, and it also helps that Positions is a plain ol', boot-knockin’ good time. And the raw power Fiona Apple wields in Fetch the Bolt Cutters would be frightening were she not the perfect vessel to deliver it to us.

Then there is the category of albums that simply didn’t need my (albeit dim) spotlight: Set My Heart on Fire Immediately, græ, and KicK i are each masterpieces in their own right. They each move purposefully through diverse landscapes, each song a new adventure not bound by genre or expectation. Interestingly, Perfume Genius and Moses Sumney were never mainstays in my music rotation, while my love for Arca is unquestioned.

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That leads us to Re-Animator, I’m Your Empress Of and The Mosaic of Transformation, all of which I actively feel bad for disqualifying. I’m too much of a fan of Everything Everything to impartially write about their new album, though it was one of my most frequently played. I have been writing best-of lists for six years now and I would prefer to write about a constantly expanding, diverse group of artists. That means I can’t keep doting on Empress Of, despite her status as one of our best contemporary artists. Me and Us were truly just prelude to her 2020 record, whose title is a formal introduction. Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith is also the most talented analog synth musician that I personally have ever engaged with, and her latest album is everything I could have wanted.

It took some self-control (aka strict time management) to not write a few thousand words about The Ascension. Let’s recall my massive thesis on Carrie & Lowell… Yes, I am a former Catholic who thrives in the ambiguous invocation of Scripture, especially from a songwriter who quite literally shaped my taste in music. Luckily, I’m not nearly as pent up with anger and existential dread as in 2015 when I was, for the first time, processing the physical and emotional distance from my family. This elongated emotional breakdown was spurred by drama between my parents, but was also due to an irrational fear I held about my own mother’s death. Listening to Sufjan Stevens forgive his mother on her figurative deathbed has stayed with me.

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The anxiety I felt about 2020 was almost entirely external, so the gorge formed from the current of The Ascension was not nearly as deep a canyon in my heart as C&L, though it is still an affecting 80-minute journey. Stevens’ production, when coupled with his lyricism, is a breakthrough, though I do hear murmurs of folktronica from earlier in the decade. (I’m begging everyone to listen to Under Our Beds by Consilience.) And for perhaps the first time, there were songs that I occasionally skip. If I still had to commute to work, I bet they would have grown on me. In fact, this would have been a perfect driving album—one that wouldn’t cause me to weep while on the interstate. (oh Carrie. oh Lowell.)

Then there was VOL.II by my dear friend Lauren Ruth Ward. She gave me an opportunity to write a unique interview with her about the record to be printed on the inside of the gatefold, making it a permanent fixture on this most exciting of sophomore albums. I could not justify writing anything more about it, if only to preserve the sanctity of that interview, which I gave more effort and attention than any other piece of writing I had done. It was a wonderful and inspiring experience that I hope to replicate. The most heartbreaking part of the pandemic’s onset, from a social perspective, was not being able to visit Lauren after the record was released.

With all that said, 2020 was about so much more than the music I listened to. All the digital replacements for physical intimacy during lockdown made me realize that my legacy (aka all my music writing) is fragile, locked into the impermanence of the internet. So I took it upon myself to build a physical archive; in the fall, I finalized a zine template, and the first eight issues are in the can. (So far, I have 19 zines planned. Email me if you are interested in having one!)

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I’ve also been living without a front tooth since mid-March. On one hand, it’s been convenient to wear a mask to hide the hole in my mouth, but on the other hand, all I want to do is bite into an apple. (For almost two years before I even knew I had to have my tooth removed, I had been forced to slice apples before being able to eat them. The abject humiliation.) The journey with my dentists and oral surgeon has been excruciating, to say the least. Who knew three people in the same medical practice could have such mightily different styles of care? [Author’s note: I got my crown after writing this essay! :grinning-emoji:]

In sum, it was my image of myself that I was able to see a bit clearer this year. Each year I think that I’ve figured something else out about myself, which had always led me to believe that I am a most-complex, divine being. But I think a more accurate interpretation is that, put simply, I am not static. My thoughts and emotions adapt to life and life doesn’t seem to stop throwing me around like sneakers in a tumbling dryer. My pronouns are now they/them and while I don’t have many specifics as to why, I just know that this feels right.

I hope your year was at least acceptable; 2021 promises a host of new challenges, but I think we can take ‘em.

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#year in review #best of #best of 2020 #music blog #music review #Lady Gaga #Ariana Grande #Fiona Apple #Perfume Genius #Moses Sumney #Arca #Everything Everything #Empress Of #Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith #Sufjan Stevens #Consilience #Lauren Ruth Ward #2020 #year in review 2020

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witchygalaxys · 5 years

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Explaining Asra

Alright! Before I begin on my tangent about Asra and his connection with Julian, this is a warning! There will be Arcana Spoilers talking about Julian and Asra’s route. So, if you don’t want to be spoiled then don’t read and go play the game! Its really fun! You will enjoy it. A lot of this is based on speculation on what I know. So, don’t get upset if you think that isnt what happened. But I would like to hear your thoughts about what you think did happen. Let’s be friends and theorize together! As for the art…. I have no skill! So, I didn’t make any of it. I’ll try to link what ever I can to the creator but a lot of this I just had saved on my phone so…. If you know who it is…. Could you message me? I’ll edit the post and add their link or account name to the photo. But also, the ones that are mine are just the screen shots I took of the game for evidence. Also, I haven’t finished reading Nadia’s route yet…. Just so you know… ANY WAY!

(PS: I couldn't find any of the creators T^T. Any way artists your art is beautiful! sorry I couldn't find you! I found these all on Pinterest. Except for the screenshots.)

From what we know by not looking to deep into it is that Julian and Asra were once friends. At some point they were more and then something else. We know what ever it was it didn’t end well for either of them. So I’m going to look into their past and try and connect the dots.

So, from what Asra has said that you (The apprentice) and Asra have known each other for 9 years. Some where in that time He began to develop feelings for you and some how met Julian and became friends with him. Asra has said that you two met at the masquerade 9 years ago in a tent behind the magic shop. The same magic shop you two now call home. Don’t know much about what happened in those 9 years. Just that Asra fell in love with you and the plague and stuff like that. I can assume before the plague began that Asra and Julian were friends at this point in time. It would make séance. I believe Lucio found them and kind of brought them together and that’s how they met. In heart hunter when you run into Lucio on the dock, he brings up how he found Asra there. I’m guessing Asra was still fairly young when found because we know at some point and time Asra and Muriel moved to the woods for safety.

Now for how he found Julian I don’t really know. I think he became the counts Physician before the plague. But Julian also had his own clinic so I don’t know. He could have had both. Everyone needs a doctor through out their lives. Not only when there is a plague. So, this is how I think Julian, Asra, and even Nadia met. They met through Lucio….

GETTING BACK ON TRACK! So Asra has told us in his route that you and him had an argument before he left. He wanted you and him to leave because of the plague. But you wanted to stay and help find a cure for the plague. You couldn’t leave the people behind to suffer. So, you became an apprentice to Julian to help find a cure for the plague. This! Is where it all goes downhill. Asra ended up leaving. But I don’t think he would have left you behind if he didn’t think you would be safe. I believe he entrusted Julian his friend to look out for you. This is Asra we are talking about. He wouldn’t do anything if he thought it would put you in danger.

But even so you died of the plague any way. What makes it worse and what actually brought me to tears (Bringing me to tears right now as I type this) was the thought of you dying alone. Julian was to busy and to invested in finding a cure that he didn’t even notice you were sick. I don’t even think he realized you had died for a while.

I keep thinking about how Asra found your body. I believe he used the compass to find your heart’s desire so he could find you. It led him to the Lazaret and lead him to your ash and chard bones. The lazaret is a large island covered in people’s ashes and remains. It’s the only way that makes séance that Asra was able to find yours. If you go up the stairs in the beginning chapters into Lucio’s old wing. He asks if you are the one who broke Asra for him…. I believe this was the moment. The moment that broke Asra.

(Man these sure hurt my heart)

Asra said he was a different person back then. That he did some terrible things. I believe after finding you he went to confront Julian. I think this is how Julian found out you had died. What would you feel if you were Asra? Leaving the one you love, believing your friend would help protect them while you were gone. Only to come back and find out the one you love had died. And your friend didn’t even notice they were gone and didn’t even notice that they died. If it was me… I would be furious. I would scream, punch and probably want to kill the friend. I would feel so betrayed and so broken. I believe he fought with Julian. But not with words. I believe he physically hurt Julian. Like full on nearly choke him to death.

I think Julian remembers this fight. In Julian’s route he has a nightmare that makes him say. “No no please! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” I believe that was a memory of their fight after finding out you had died. He doesn’t remember what the fight was about. He even says “If I could just remember… Then I would know. If what I’ve done is something unforgivable.” This was after spending the night with you running from the guards. It would make séance that just spending time with you would stir up some forgotten memories.

Having a memory like that where having Asra so angry and hurt but not know what you did to hurt him like that…. It would make you wonder what you had done to get him so worked up. You could only assume it was something unforgivable and for some it is pretty unforgivable. But it wasn’t like he just let them die. He was working on finding a cure. If he had found it, I’m sure he would have given it to you as soon as possible. Once realizing you were dying.

After confronting Julian Asra cut ties with Julian and began to look for any possible way to bring you back. Eventually Asra learns he doesn’t have nearly enough to find a way to bring you back with out the palace’s help. So, he goes to work for the palace telling the palace it is to find a cure for the plague. But he has ulterior motives. To find a way to bring you back. To Asra’s displeasure Julian is there working too, but to actually find a cure for the plague.

Asra is then forced to work along with Julian. From what we see in flashbacks Julian is wanting to be close to Asra. So, I believe he tries to do whatever he can to please Asra or at least impress him. Trying to make up for the loss of the apprentice. Julian wants to be useful to Asra more than anything. But Asra in the beginning wants nothing to do with Julian. Now this is where it gets kind of dark. Not that a plague killing millions of people isnt dark but…

Asra is a broken man who lost the person he loved most. People mourn in many different ways. In Asra’s case I think he falls under two categories. Denial being one of them. Asra doesn’t accept that you are gone. As we see in a flash back Asra talks about how Julian thinks Asra likes him but his heart belongs to some one else. Faust asks where they are. Asra replies some where he can’t follow, yet. And even tells Faust they are getting close. Showing he fully intends to see you again and that he will see you again.

The second one is… I don’t know the word for this… Whoring your self out? LMAO! That’s not it! I guess the best way to describe it is finding a temporary replacement that makes him forget the pain of not having the one he loves in his arms. I guess that’s called a rebound. Asra is a broken man who lost his world. Asra sees how vulnerable and open Julian is and uses that to his advantage. Asra is purely using Julian for his body nothing more. But this confuses Julian. Julian begins to believe it is something more than what it really is. A booty call!

It’s pretty obvious Asra doesn’t really care for Julian, not the same way Julian cares for Asra. I wouldn’t blame him. (Even though Julian is my boy!) When ever Julian shown his affection towards Asra, Asra always seemed pretty disgusted by it. But also sees opportunity in it. If you paid to see the past in Asra’s route. You will see Julian ended up following Asra to the shop where he finds Asra doing a ritual of some kind. Asra takes full advantage of it and uses Julian as a test subject. Julian completely gives himself to Asra. All he wants to do is be useful to Asra. The sexual tension is pretty dang high in that part! It even fades out hinting that Asra ends up kissing Julian. Now we never find out what the ritual was for but Julian for sure remembers it. I believe its why he became so uncomfortable with magic. He even references this moment in his own route. I believe the ritual was an attempt to bring back the apprentice that didn’t end up working. It seemed like a pretty dark spell that needed a lot of power. From what we see magic is pretty easy to do. Especially from a trained magician like Asra. You don’t always need a book or a catalyst to make it work. In Asra’s route you even see him make water from sand! With out any of that! But he needed those things for this certain spell. I don’t think he fully knew what would happen to Julian if he used this spell. I don’t even think he cared. In his eyes Julian is the reason the apprentice isnt there. While at the same time Julian is beating himself up for the same exact reason. Julian wants to redeem himself for the loss of the apprentice.

But eventually I believe Julian wanted more with Asra. He began to confuse their “After hour visits” with more than what it was. Asra immediately shot this down. Like… “Are you an actual idiot? Fuck you! No!” I think this is around the time Asra found a way to bring the apprentice back. When he became close to the apprentice. This was the time where Asra tells Faust they are close to getting the apprentice back.

So some time has passed and the masquerade is over. Asra has the apprentice back but with their memories gone. Lucio is said to be dead and that Julian is the culprit. What we find out is that Asra stole the body that was meant to replace Lucio’s dying body, and uses it to bring back the apprentice while also giving up half his heart. Julian made a trade with the hanged man for the power to heal and take peoples wounds and have them be inflicted onto himself in place of the memories he didn’t want.

OKAY NOW I WILL BE TALKING ABOUT HOW FLIPPING SALTY ASRA IS IN JULIANS ROUTE! LIKE OH MY GOODNESS! Reading Julian’s route, I actually didn’t look forward to seeing Asra in it. Every time I saw him, I felt like I was ripping out the other half of his heart. And you are probably thinking…. “Well he isnt going to like you being with any one else other then him.” HA! WRONG! In Nadia’s route he actually comments saying You and Nadia make a cute couple. And He even tries to help you and Muriel get together! It’s just Julian! WITH GOOD REASON! I know! I literally just described why he would be so salty in most of this entire post. But we are going down a bit deeper again….

Reading Julian’s route, you can see Asra is not shy about his feelings towards you liking Julian. Which who could blame him really. You know why he doesn’t like it but do you understand? EVEN IF YOU DO, I WILL TELL YOU ANY WAY! OKAY SO! Asra pretty much went through hell and back to try and bring you back. He gave up half of himself for you to come back. But in Julian’s route you never really find out what he did or went through to try and bring you back. You just know its because of Asra that you are breathing and alive. Asra has loved you for years. He loved you so deeply it drove him almost to madness when you died. He gave half of himself to bring you back. Now here is the thing. Like I said… it seems Asra is fine with you being with someone other than him.

He brought you back so you could have that choice. So, he could just talk with you again and just see you laugh and smile again. He wants you to be happy ultimately. That’s what he really cares about. He wants you happy even if it isnt with him. So, he will support you in any relationship you have. Except for 2 (Lucio being one…. That’s right I’m calling you Lucio stans out. Jk jk. We have fun here)

It’s just Julian he has a problem with. Because Julian… in Asra’s eyes is one of the reasons you died in the first place. Which kind of shows Asra that he isnt very responsible. Not just that but he knows what Julian is like. He has seen it firsthand. Julian is pretty self-destructive. But not just that. When you died while Asra was miserably trying to bring you back Julian was trying to get into Asra’s pants.

Even as time goes on and every one notices a change in Julian it seems Asra is kind of okay with the relationship. Or so you would believe. What got me though and what actually kind of hurt was at the end when you and Julian were leaving for your trip. People came to say goodbye and wish you safe travels. All except for Asra. Granted Asra was probably reconnecting with his parents but here is the thing…. If the person you’ve loved for the last 6 years… (Guessing Asra fell in love after the first 3 years) was leaving on a long journey, wouldn’t you go say goodbye? Asra! The person who gave half his heart to bring you back and basically helped raise you for 3 years after being brought back from the dead. He didn’t come and say goodbye. Me being the Apprentice I would still be looking up to Asra like a big brother almost. I would still want to be close to him. After all he is the first person, I can ever remember meeting. He even brought me back to life somehow! I would want him there. I would want to say goodbye. You both are forever tied to each other as well. You both have half of the same heart.

But I also understand why he wouldn’t go. He probably still loves you at this point. I t would be extremely painful to watch the person you love go with some one else. And thinking of that just makes me hurt so much for Asra. He could have been a villain. He could have told the apprentice to stay away from Julian. He could have tried to come between them but instead he didn’t. Despite how against it he was. He didn’t once try to stop you. He tried to convince you to not follow Julian but like he said (In his sassy way) You are aloud to make your own bad decisions.

In the end Asra isnt a bad person. His heart truly lies with you. You are his priority. You always have been. He would do anything just to see you smile. Even if that smile was for someone else. Although I don’t like or support how he treated Julian but I can understand that he was hurting. And for a moment Julian was able to take away that hurt or at least distract him from it. They both kind of got what they wanted. Asra wanted to stop hurting and Julian just wanted to be useful to Asra. They got what they wanted but not what they needed. If they both had done things a bit differently, I bet they could have been a good couple. Julian has even pointed out “Maybe if I had been a little less selfish… maybe things could have been different.”

WELP THAT’S IT! THAT’S THE END! Man! THANK YOU for reading all of this. I know it is a lot. But I had just kept thinking about Asra and how unfair Julian’s route is for him. I know he still gets his parents back so he isnt entirely alone, plus Muriel and Faust. But every time I read Julian’s route I always get this guilt in my heart. I mean… I know I keep saying this but…. HE GAVE UP HALF HIS HEART! NOT KNOWING WHAT THAT EVEN MEANT! Asra is a good boy. He deserves happiness just as much as any one else.

#Asra #the arcana #Asra deserves happiness #good boy #magician #long post #arcana theory #Asra and Julian #Asra explained

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slumberinglabyrinth · 4 years

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Modern Shin Megami Tensei (read: megaten games that do more than just a damage multiplier for hitting a weakness) typically are designed in a way where setting yourself and your allies up for a magic build is the better and/or only viable option. Notable exceptions include going for the True Demon Ending in Nocturne Maniax, which effectively forces you to use the pierce passive which in turn requires your damage to be physical, and Apocalypse difficulty for IVA, which has a hefty hitrate reduction for all your attacks and a mid-game skill that guarantees your next phys attack will hit (because it makes it a crit, and you can’t crit if you miss :^U with the added bonus of getting extra actions just like if you had hit a weakness since you’re getting a crit), but those examples are heavily lopsided in favor of Phys and usually the other games don’t have enough enemies with phys/gun/etc weaknesses to make investing in it worth it and they often don’t give you a large enough MP pool on phys-oriented allies to make using them worth the effort (IV is incredibly guilty of this).

Not doing this happens to be one of the things sharpFE does incredibly well, and though it’s not without a few issues (on the scale of a handful of skills instead of the usual ‘entire build archtypes’), the most recent footage they’ve shown off makes it seem like it’s entirely possible those problems have already been addressed in Encore.

-----

Some required reading before I actually get to the point of this post: for those of you with actual taste who haven’t played TMSFE, its “hit a weakness” gimmick is Sessions. When you hit a weakness with a skill or an item (but not an auto attack), if a character in your party has a session skill that corresponds to the element that you hit with, you’ll start a session and they’ll do an attack which has its own element. If a character who hasn’t participated in that session yet has a skill that will start a session off of the session attack that just ended, they will then perform their own attack. This continues until someone’s attack is nullified (through a Null, Reflect, or Absorb) or until everybody who can participate in that session has attacked, though there are ways to extend sessions (Duo Arts, which I’ll also explain) and ways to start sessions against an enemy that isn’t weak to that specific element (which I’ll also go into). When there are multiple possible sequences for a given session, the game automatically selects a path that doesn’t end prematurely (if at all possible) and the one that deals the most damage most.

For example, let’s say you’ve just started the first chapter and your party is only Itsuki, Tsubasa, and Touma. Among whatever their other skills may be, Itsuki has the light sword-element command skill Cleave, Tsubasa has the session skill Fire-Lunge (where she does a light lance attack when a session includes a fire attack), and Touma has the session skill Sword-Blaze (which, you guessed it, is a light fire attack that follows a sword attack).

Itsuki hits an enemy’s sword weakness, Touma does a followup fire attack, and Tsubasa does a followup lance attack.

You’ve tripled your damage output against that enemy in a single attack, which, needless to say, is why Session attacks (especially when you can start getting party members who aren’t on the field to join in and when you can extend them even further through Duo Arts) are vital to killing your enemy before they kill you with a session of their own.

Duo Arts are the other Main Big Thing for dealing enough damage to not die a horrible (but incredibly stylish!) death. They’re special attacks with a skill-based (the stat) chance of randomly appearing during a session that have varying effects when activated (ranging from just Big AoE Damage, to Healing status and/or hp and AoE Damage, to AoE Damage and an AoE status effect, and so on). When the chance to activate a Duo Art appears you’ll have the choice between two of the ones you’ve obtained and you can opt to go for whatever you need more at the time, but the super important thing about Duo Arts is that they act as a starting point for a follow-up session (which excludes the two people who cast the duo art) if there’s a character that can start a session off of that Duo Art’s element. You can activate a Duo Art twice off of a single skill usage (meaning up to three sessions), which, in addition to whatever damage you’re dealing through the duo arts, gives you up to 17 attacks.

The last piece of background information that I feel the need to touch upon is the elemental affinity/weakness system. Every attack and skill (barring healing skills and support skills like Charge or Tarukaja) has a elemental affinity from one of the following categories: Sword, Lance, Axe, Bow, Fire, Ice, Electric, Wind, Spirit, Body, and Almighty. Almighty attacks can be considered ‘untyped’ damage, but every enemy could potentially be weak or resistant (or take unmodified damage, reflect that damage, nullify that damage, or absorb that damage) to any of the other elements. Spirit and Body are almost exclusively reserved for ailment attacks (turning the ‘nerve’ and ‘mind’ classifications for ailments from the mainline games into an actual type that you actually can see if an enemy resists or is weak to), though there are damage-dealing Spirit and Body skills available to both you and -much more commonly- to enemies.

There are also skills with "effective against [class]” effects, like Armorslayer or Wyrmicide, which allow you to ignore any potential resistances when you use them against an enemy of that class (or when used against you) and start a session without them being weak to the element of the skill (which also ignore resistances).

Finally, there’s a special type of skill called a Special Performance that each character has a few of that can do various things (ranging from damage, to buffs and healing, to creating weaknesses on the enemies, to giving everyone an extra turn), and if they deal damage they operate under the same rules as [class]bane skills for starting a session. There’s a shared meter that you cast from for Special Performances but how that works isn’t important to this post.

-----

ANYWAYS:

The main reason why TMSFE doesn’t fall into the trap that a lot of megaten games do regarding STR and MAG builds is because the elemental affinity of an attack is uncoupled from being Str/Mag based. In game this really only manifests for Fire/Ice/Elec/Wind skills having the potential to be str-based since it doesn’t really make sense to make a sword Mag-based, but it means that every character can specialize in Str or Mag and still have access to both both a traditionally physical element and a traditionally magical element (ex. Touma is Str based, but learns both Lance and Fire element skills). Within your party, Kiria is Mag-based, Itsuki and Tsubasa have a mix of Mag- and Str-based attacks (while Itsuki leans more towards a Str-focused statline and Tsubasa more towards Mag) and everyone else is Str-based.

Speaking of Kiria, who acts as a dedicated mage/healer, she does not have a traditionally physical element that she can deal damage through (her autoattack deals untyped phys damage and is also really really bad) and instead has access to every other traditionally magic element when everyone else gets like, a single fire/ice/elec/wind attack that isn’t what they specialize in (ex. Touma getting a Wind attack).

I’ll be coming back to her in a moment.

The other reason why TMSFE doesn’t succumb to a chronic state of ‘phys is bad’ is because it just. Makes enemies weak to physical elements.

Wild, isn’t it? When you have four different types to spread these weaknesses across instead of one or two (and make your weakness exploitation gimmick not work with autoattacks) you can actually use them. I glanced through the enemy list and it’s nearly a universal rule that when an enemy doesn’t have a weakness to a weapon element and a magic element, they have a bunch of weaknesses to one and a ton of resistances to the other (in the same way that Knights in FE are heavily geared towards wanted to not be attacked by mages).

It’s free re- good game design

Anyways.

Kiria. And the one real problem (oversight, really) with this system. The problem isn’t but it’s a problem that’s a problem for her.

So Kiria has access to the only pure damage dealing Spirit skill you get (Flux, while Tsubasa has Life Drain and Life Leech) and the only damage dealing Body skills that you get (Nosferatu, which functions exactly as you’d expect, and Naga, which is also the only Wyrmslaying effect that isn’t on Itsuki), and is the only unit who has access to AoE Almighty (the only other Almighty skill being Overload, which has significant utility beyond dealing damage since it alters turn order but can only be found on Elenora and Kiria). On top of that, there a few other Body skills that don’t deal damage but allow Kiria to restore her MP.

To cap off your almighty skills, Elenora also has a Duo Art with Tsubasa that deals Almighty damage, inflicts charm, and fully heals your active party (Dream Catcher), alongside a Special Performance that deals Almighty damage in the process of draining the enemy’s HP and EP and inflicts charm (Horror Hunter Angel).

Cutting to the chase, you cannot perform a session by striking a weakness with Body or Spirit or in general with Almighty attacks because there are no session skills that follow Body-, Spirit-, or Almighty-element attacks. While this is totally justifiable with Almighty skills since their conceit is and always has been to not interact with the flavor of the week weakness gimmick, Body and Spirit skills (namely Flux, Nosferatu, and especially Naga) aren’t designed under the same philosophy and the primary reason to use a Duo Art or a damage-dealing Special Performance is to bypass resistances and initiate (or extend) a session in the first place.

Part of the reason why Body, Spirit, and (especially) Almighty skills don’t have session skills they’d link into is because there just isn’t enough of them to make dedicating a whole session skill slot to them worth it. And then this feeds back into the reasons to not use Flux/Nosferatu/Dream Catcher/etc., which in turn makes there less of a reason to make session skills that-

But what if it didn’t have to be like this? What if I didn’t pad this post out any further?

One of the changes that they’re making for Encore is giving an expanded role to the backup cast (Maiko, B****, and Tiki), who previous were characters with some passive effects that you could unlock that did neat stuff like increase the money you earned from sessions or the individual cap for each item you could carry, but will now be able to participate in sessions. We don’t know how you’ll be able to get these skills (probably side-stories alongside one of their passives) or if they’ll even be customizable to the extent of the main casts’ session portfolio (probably not), BUT! From the like half a second of English footage released right now we do know that they operate differently from other session skills.

We see Maiko use Weapon-Slash to session off of Elenora performing what was probably a bow attack, and then B**** follow that up with Weapon-Cyclone, and then Tiki follow that up with Magic-Fire.

The common thread between their session skills? They’re sessioning based off of the element family and not the sole element, and since B****’s session skill was ‘Cyclone’ and not ‘Wind’ or ‘Elwind’, we can be absolutely certain that it was Str-based and that Tiki’s ‘Magic’ criteria was looking at it being wind element (within the magic element family) and not looking at the stat ‘Magic’.

This is easily the best possible solution for both fitting the backup cast into the session system in a way that’s simple and doesn’t make the party system cumbersome to manage wrt weapon mastery and exp distribution, and also addressing the problem with the session system that I’ve pointed out without needlessly including Megido/Megidolaon/Overload assuming that Tiki will be able to properly identify Spirit, Body, and Almighty as Magic.

Also I guess I kinda didn’t really explain why this is a problem if, with the exception of turning Dream Catcher into a session-ender that doesn’t output enough damage (or healing) to justify cutting a session off so soon, it’s just freeing up skill slots to use for things you’d actually use.

I mentioned that Kiria is the only other source of a wyrmslaying effect, right?

It isn’t really a concern until you get to ng+ but the extra boss (and probably the final boss on lunatic, which is also requires you to do a second cycle) does a ton of stupid stuff which will ABSOLUTELY be the subject of a post for another day and having a second way to initiate a session off of it that ignores its constantly rotating reflect-level elemental resistances would make it. Significantly Less Stupid. and immediately make it feel like a good final challenge the game throws at you and not just an exercise in masochism rivaled only by the unlock requirements for said boss

#megaten #tmsfe #sharpfe #Tokyo mirage sessions fe #fire emblem #thinking about the wordcount for this makes me wanna smash my head against a window #long post

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sarahbethimagines · 6 years

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Chapter Eleven: See The Light

Chapter Log!

After some time, Michelle and I managed to let our sobs subside and detangled ourselves from the other's arms. But Michelle was quick to slap her hands to my cheeks, her eyes running over what was left to see of my now squished face. Investigating it closely. So close, I could have sworn to you she'd been counting every pore and freckle on the skin. "Well look at you," She smiled widely, slowly lightening her grip and letting my face start to reshape, "I haven't seen you in a month of Sundays!" I smiled back at her, laughing softly as I searched all the new records in my brain to remember I in fact hadn't seen her since winter break. "I'd been wondering how long I'd have to wait for you to find your way back here." Her hands finally dropped and she took a step back, her smile never budging an inch. "Well here I am!"

"There you are..." She breathed, suddenly pulling me into yet another tight hug. Huffing a hefty sigh as she did and burrowed her small head into my shoulder. "Lord only knows how happy I am that you're back." Smiling still, I returned her hug knowing exactly what she'd meant by that. And we stood there like that for a moment in a tearless embrace. Michelle thanking God I'd somehow remembered her. And me just basking in the same thing. Feeling more than grateful that somehow, someway I now had someone I truly knew to talk about everything to. Someone I remembered to help me navigate all that I didn't just a little bit better. That hug didn't last nearly as long as the last, and soon she was pulling us apart and taking a hold of my hand. "C'mon, I have something I've been waiting to give you!" She excitedly explained. Damn nearly pulling my arm clean out of its socket as she all but ran to the back of the shop. I'd always thought I was short in comparison to my father and Alex, and well everyone else in my other memories. But even at my short stature, I still had her beat by an inch or so. But that sure as Hell didn’t stop her from pumping those stumpy legs. Like she was Usain Bolt and the door she swiftly pulled us up to was the finish line in the Olympics'100-meter relay. The sign on the door read 'Authorized Personnel ONLY', and I guess that Michelle fell under that category now as she pushed it open with ease and uncovered the strangest yet most perfect little break room I'd ever seen. Once she'd dropped her death grip on my now probably broken hand, I followed in after her slowly and took in the room in its entirety. There was a small, paint smeared and wood chipped table off to the side, a single chair pulled up to it. It was pretty much empty spare a few napkins, a large, gaudy, borderline out of date boom box, and a small microwave. Diagonal from it in the corner were two oversized bean bag chairs that looked like they'd been used as punching bags for Rocky at some point or another. But by far the most impressive part of that oversized storage closet were its walls. Every inch covered from floor to ceiling and wall to wall in a wide range of posters, photographs, and record casings. There were band posters, album art, and torn off covers of Rolling Stone magazines. There were photos of Micah and Michelle at varying ages plastered everywhere. Photos of bands that had rolled through town, or those surrounding. Even photos of the Michelle and I, and the guys. Some were normal, and some were of Jack, Alex, Zack, and a third boy I assumed to be Rian playing all together. A full-blown band. I wandered around the room with wide eyes all while Michelle fumbled around in search for something. Taking the moment to soak it all in, even spotting a small polaroid photo of me. I was smiling widely, clearly laughing whilst holding a crumpled piece of paper that read 'EmpLoyEE of the mONth' in purple crayon. And I laughed softly, remembering Michelle doing that on the one-month anniversary of me working at that very store with her our Junior year in high school. "There you are, you little fucker." Michelle groveled under her breath making me laugh. I turned around to see her just barely miss smashing her head on the table's edge as she rose to her feet, tiny blue plastic bag in hand. "Only took a million and a half years to find it!" I furrowed my brow, propped myself up against a wall and watched. Giggling quietly at my friend as she tore the bag away its confines and was quick to rip the plastic film off a brand-new CD. "What are you doing?" I finally asked in an overly amused voice as she haphazardly tossed the scraps over her shoulder and popped the freed disc into the boombox. "Just being the coolest friend ever." She mocked me, turning around with a roll of her eyes and tossing the now empty CD case through the air. "Consider it a belated birthday gift, or very belated depending on which birthday you celebrated this year." I let out a bellowing laugh once I'd managed to catch it, only fumbling it in my fingers for a second. A questioning, yet still amused look in my eyes as I turned the disk over and tore my eyes from Michelle's to look down. My baby blues instantly tripled in size at the sight of what I was now holding in my hands. The black faded halo, the burnt orange bricks, the black, white and yellow spray-painted art. All physical attributes used to describe Green Day's, 21st Century Breakdown. My eyes were the size of moons when I looked back to her. My jaw slack, but my smile wide. "I've been waiting for this since they announced recording it in October!" I practically squealed. And she matched my excitement perfectly. "How do you have this?" I questioned, running the few feet over to her, "I don't even remember this being released!" I could see a flash of something in her eyes when I'd said that. But she quickly covered it up with a casual smirk and shrug. "We got right on the order and stalked up the second it came out, I've been holding onto this copy for about a week now for you." "Oh my God, thank you!" I yelled, wrapping my arms around her neck in the tightest hug I could muster. "Alright, alright I know," She coughed, pushing me off, or at least attempting to. "I'm the greatest best friend in all of existence but get off me so I can play it!" "Say less!" I huffed, pulling myself off her in an instant and allowing her to turn around and press play. As the first track began to spin, I returned to my place by the wall, leaning into it and scanning the back of the CD case. Taking in each and every one of the eighteen song titles. And Michelle pressed herself up onto the break table, swinging her legs ever so slightly as she watched me. For a while we just sat in silence listening to the music and taking it in. But it was hard for me to ignore the way her eyes were burning two little holes in my skull once I'd finished listing the tracks in my head. I knew she must have had a million and one questions, there was something about the way she'd been looking at me before. So shocked, and yet so happy. She must have been just as surprised as I'd been at the fact that I so quickly remembered who she was. And I'm certain she had a laundry list of things she wanted to ask me. About the incident, about what I'd remembered so far, probably even what I'd specifically remembered about her. But if I'm to be honest, it was nice for once to not have to think so hard about what had been going on in my life the past two weeks. Just being able to sit in a room with someone I knew everything about was all I ever wanted and felt just as good as I'd hoped. That is sparing the small hints of guilt I'd begun to feel about not remembering anyone else. But I didn’t want to talk quite yet. So, I held off, never meeting her stare and instead began to wander aimlessly around the room in circles, taking in everything that was stuck to the walls. Feeling memories tug at my mind just out of reach when I saw certain things. Letting my hands graze the scattered collection of posters and photographs, I stopped at one that caught my eye. Leaning in to get a closer look with squinted eyes. The poor-quality photo captured an image of Alex that had something tugging just a bit harder than before in the back of my brain. Standing in a dark room with broken ceiling panels. He had a pink electric guitar slung over his shoulder and a white bandana wrapped around his visibly sweat slicked hair. Even through the grain I could easily see the expression on his face as he hung his jaw wide and was singing into a microphone, thick vein bulging down the length of his neck clear as day. They were probably playing some form of a show. Zack could be seen ever so slightly behind him, the only thing keeping the shorter boy from fading into the darkness of the photograph was the bright red t-shirt stuck to his chest. "How much do you remember of him?" Michelle suddenly asked from behind me when she noticed me staring. Careful tone to her words. "Not as much as I'd like to." I admitted, dropping my hand and head in synchronization before turning around to see her staring up at me. A somber look to her pressed smile. "He's been keeping us all in the loop, you know." She told me, still swinging her legs. Eyes never leaving me as I made my way over and flopped down into one of the worn bean bag chairs. "Ever since you'd shown up at his house." "All good things, I hope?" I inquired. She nodded and I did too, biting down gently on my lip. "He said you're doing a lot better the past few days, that you remember more than you think." "I doubt that!" I scoffed, shaking my head and letting my eyes fall to my swaying knees. "Don't doubt Alex." She practically warned me, though with a playful twang. "He's known you better than you've known yourself since ninth grade. It's just a much easier competition for him in the time being." "Well, that's one wat to put it." I laughed half-heartedly. But only for a moment before a frown formed between my cheeks. "It kills me you know, not remembering any of them. Not remembering my dad, or my best friends." "Well you seem to remember me just fine!" She pointed out. Clearly searching under rocks for a silver lining to show me. Only finding rattle snakes hidden away. "Yeah, well you're actually the only person I really remember." I bitterly admitted. "And even that is a new discovery." "Oh, boo who!" She whined, and my attention instantly snapped up in time to see her rolling her big doll eyes at me. "Dee, do me a solid and tell the negative committee that meets in your brain to sit down and shut the Hell up!" "Excuse me?" I practically choked on my shocked excuse for a laugh. "You heard me." She said, narrowing her eyes. "This whole negative nelly, woe is me crap isn't you! You were bright and bubbly ten minutes ago until I asked about your progress. Look on the bright side!" I couldn’t even begin to help the way my eyes rolled at that. "Where is the bright side to forgetting your entire life." "How about getting a chance to remember it again." She said. And I looked to her again at the sound of her hardened words, only to see a cold glare looking right back at me. Things seeming to make a fast and drastic turn in a whole new direction. "Look Dee, something terrible happened to you. Probably the worst thing that can happen to a person. But in the bigger picture of things you got lucky!" "How?" I genuinely asked now, not as sarcastic as before. More curious per say as to where she was going with all this. She sighed and shook her head. "You were in a car full of people that played chicken with a tree and lost miserably. Not a single one of you walked away with just bumps and bruises. So, all things considered, if I were you, I'd start to just be grateful you walked away at all instead of focusing on smaller things." "I am grateful!" I quickly defended. "I know you are deep down..." She said, "But you're letting your memory cloud that. You're so focused on the fact that you can't remember that you're forgetting to count the biggest blessing of being able to remember anything at all." I bit my lip and looked away from her for a moment. My hand subconsciously running its way up to the back of my head where a line of small scabbed staples sat hidden beneath my hair. One of the last remaining bits of physical evidence. All that time at home I’d been trying my hardest to remember my life and think as little as possible about how I’d lost the ability to do so. I didn’t remember the crash. All I knew about it was what I'd seen on the news before the nurses would turn it off. And the few conclusions I'd drawn from the doctors questioning me. The biggest thing I had been blocking from my thoughts, now with Michelle's words in my head seemed like the biggest thing I should have been focusing on all along. That not everyone survived that night. And I was one of the four lucky ones who did. "Your memory will come back to you." Michelle whispered, pulling me from my thoughts. "And we are all going to be here until you do, helping where we can." I looked up to see her slowly sliding off the table she'd been sat on our whole exchange. Letting me nod before she grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up into another tight hug. "You know I would never be hard on you unless you really needed a kick in the pants." She muttered as I wrapped my arms around her and took a deep breath. "But Dee, you just have to remember, you are here, you are alive, and you are slowly remembering things." "Thank you." I whispered, holding her closer. "I love you Tweedle Dee, you stupid stubborn bitch." She laughed, "Just, stop being so hard on yourself." "I love you too JuJuBee." I whispered back to her, closing my eyes to conceal the tears that were slowly beginning to form. "I'll try my hardest to remember that."

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gallaghervich · 6 years

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Sex and The Single Guy: Part Two - The Title

Chapter One, Chapter Two:

Ian is never worse than when he hangs out with Mickey. In fact, all of vices seemed to be indulged when he was around; sex, smoking, drinking, recreational drug use. Not necessarily in that order. Like right now, they were sitting across from each other in a seedy Chinese restaurant. Though it was about to be eleven, Mickey had just left work. Though he ostensibly set his own hours, he was working twelve hour days, six days a week. Ian's own schedule was hectic as well and finding a time where their schedules overlapped was difficult. However, nights when they met up quickly were turning into his favorite days.

also on ao3

"How's the spring roll?" Mickey asks, drowning his chicken fried rice in sweet and sour sauce.

"Great," Ian says. "I'm doing this thing with my friend, meatless Monday, to be healthier and add more variety to my diet."

"The blond at the bar?"

"Different friend - Charles."

"I think I read about him in your column. He works in a gallery, right?"

Ian can't hide his surprise as he dips his roll in ginger sauce. "You read my column?"

"The sexy brunet millionaire is my favorite character."

Ian has the insatiable urge to kiss him. No one should be allowed to look that great in a maroon button down shirt with the accompanying a gray tie loosened just so. His hair is showing signs of dishevelment that makes Ian want to unravel him further. As if reading his intention, Mickey finishes the rest of his drink, and motions for the waiter.

"Want to take the rest of this to go?" Mickey asks, even as he's paying for their meal.

"Yeah," Ian quickly agrees.

The walk to Mickey's condo is mercifully short, the cold New York air doing nothing to cool their libidos. Even in the elevator up to his place they can't keep their hands to themselves. Ian's mouth is latched onto Mickey's neck, the brunet's knee is pressed into Ian's groin. They practically fall out of the elevator and Ian is unabashedly grinding his erection into Mickey's ass while he fumbles with his keys.

It's his first time in Mickey's place but he barely even registers the hardwood floors and brick walls before Mickey has him pressed up against the door. He looks at Ian for a long moment before pressing their mouths together. Without hesitation, Ian slides his hand through Mickey's hair to pull them closer before using both hands to tear off his clothes. He should probably be more delicate with the designer suit but can't find it in his system to care at the moment. It's tricky to do with his eyes closed and his senses being otherwise occupied but he manages to get him to down his undershirt when Mickey pulls away, lips bruised, hair mused.

"Rug," he nods in the direction of his living room before walking into his living room.

Ian follows him,noticing for the first time a large black leather sectional, a half dozen or so boxes scattered around the large room,and a plush red rug under the largest plasma screen Ian's ever seen.

Ian's eyes turn back to Mickey who is rummaging through one of the boxes. Eventually, he resurfaces with a bottle of lube and a box of condoms.

"Get naked," he commands Ian, throwing his shit on a nearby coffee table.

"That's a pretty big box," Ian notes, pulling his shirt over his head, his coat forgotten somewhere by the door.

"We'll explore its contents another time."

By then Mickey is undressing as well. When they're both naked, they meet in the middle of the incredibly plush carpet that Ian swears is softer than his mattress. He pulls Mickey flush against him, both on their knees, and rubs their aching dicks together while sucking onto the juncture between his neck and shoulder. His hands skim over Mickey's chest, his nipples, before wrapping around their matching hard-ons.

"Fuck," Mickey bites off a groan at the sweet friction. Is this guy even real?

His own hands wrap around the sides of Ian's head to bring him closer for a kiss that's all nose bumps and teeth and wrestling tongues. He pulls them down slowly on the rug, his head eventually resting on the carpet. Ian mouths at his ear lobe and neck, still grinding them together.

"Stop," Mickey says softly, planting a hand on Ian's chest and pushing him softly but firmly off of him. "I'm not going to bust my nut like some teenager from frottage."

"How are you going to come then?" Ian asks, already reaching for the lubricant and a rubber.

Mickey chooses not to answer but watches Ian smears it on his fingers before unceremoniously pushing two fingers into him.

Mickey lets out a moan he'll deny later as Ian moves him onto his side and begins to stretch him. Ian runs his free hand down Mickey's side before finding his hand lacing their fingers together. He feels Mickey clench around his fingers and hand as he finds his sweet spot. He tortures him like that for awhile before removing his hand to coat himself with a condom. His erection teases against Mickey's entrance.

"Like this?" Ian asks rhetorically as he spoons Mickey. He enters slowly, finding Mickey's hand again.

"Yeah, like that," Mickey whispers, rocking slowly against Ian, who meets him thrust for thrust.

Ian hooks a leg over Mickey's for leverage as his pace begins to quicken. Their joined hands rest over Mickey's heart and he uses it to hold Mickey close to him. His cock was weeping from neglect and Mickey stealthily wrapped his free hand around it.

"You close?" Ian asks. Mickey can't talk with the embarrassing moans being wrenched from him, so instead he nods as his hand blurs around his own dick.

Ian pushes away Mickey's hand in favor of his own just as Ian finds his prostate again. A few thrusts aimed at that magical spot and Mickey climaxes over Ian's hand. Ian's own rhythm falters as he empties himself.

Eventually they make their way back to Mickey's California King Bed. The older man expertly rolls a joint and holds it up for inspection.

"Work of art," he announces, lighting it and making his way over to Ian who is mindlessly going through his Netflix

"Michael Milkovich," Ian smirks, "real estate developer, power bottom, and Pablo Picasso of blunts. Interesting resume you have there."

"You forgot my business degree."

Mickey takes a long drag of the roach before passing it to Ian.

"You are awful for me," Ian utters around the joint. "Up for heading to the gym tomorrow?"

"Can't. We're breaking ground on the new place in the Bronx . It's the first project I'm heading up by myself and it'll look bad if I'm not there."

Ian presses play on an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. "The Bronx?"

"I love the Bronx, man. So what exactly do you do all day?"

Ian turns away from a particularly angst filled Buffy and Angel kiss to look sideways at Mickey.

"Excuse me?" Ian asks, more than a little offended.

"I mean you have the column..."

"The nationally syndicated column, yes. In addition to the freelance work I do at Cosmopolitan and the events I attend, I'm working on a novel."

That gets Mickey's attention. "Novel?"

"Yeah, well, I don't want to write about prostate orgasms forever. I just finished a story about a man who returns to his father's old fishing cabin after he dies and... you don't care."

Ian shrugs it off, turning his attention to Buffy's ruined surprise party. He doesn't know why he mentioned it all. The novel is something he only told Mark about, his best friend, after he admitted his fear about a cat eating his face off if he ever choked on takeout. Not a particular high of their friendship, Ian has to admit.

"Ian Gallagher: sex columnist, service top, and author of the Next Great American Novel," Mickey grounds out the joint and reaches for Ian. "That's, uh, real versatile resume you have."

"You forgot my writing degree," Ian sighs as Mickey straddles him.

"Is it just sex?" Sam asks, picking up speed on the cycling machine.

"Don't know," Ian answers evasively.

"Is he your boyfriend?" Charles ponders, making the most of the Stairmaster.

"What? No."

"Have you guys even had a conservation?" Mark sits up from his crunches to look at Ian.

For his part, Ian stares at the panel on his treadmill as his three closest friends interrogate him about the nature of his relationship with Mickey. Charlie, the most conservative of the bunch, had already berated Ian about sleeping with Mickey minutes into their date.

"You have all ready cornered yourself as a sex buddy," Charles lectures him.

"So it is just sex?" Sam confirms. "He looks like he'd be great in bed. All pushy and demanding. If you weren't fucking him..."

"We're in public."

Sam merely rolls his eyes. "If you weren't, I would try to be.

Ian doesn't think it's just sex. Yes, they've only been out a handful times that usually ends with Mickey bent over the nearest surface. If their relationship was purely physical would Mickey read his column enough to know about his friends or would Ian have told him about his novel? There's definitely something there; Ian just isn't sure how to articulate it.

Charles had something called the sixty-day rule. In accordance with the rule, he waits two months to sleep with a guy he's serious about. Sam in contrast had the sixty minute rule where he expected his conquests to make themselves scarce after an hour. I always found myself in between. Admittedly, I ended up naked in the back of a limo after all of three minutes but does that automatically qualify me for the Sex Buddy category? I guess I'd be finding out sooner or later.

#shameless #shameless us #shameless fanfiction #shameless au #my writing #my fanfic #gallervich #ian x mickey

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glisteria · 6 years

Note

pls answer all 69 embarrassing questions

9 Embarrassing QuestionsWho’s your crush/squish?•🌺🌺Who’s you fictional crush/squish?•hmmmm fictional? rlly tackey but poussey (oitnb) orrrrrr ben from parks and rec (i picked tv characters oops)Worst joke you’ve ever told?• I cant recall any but probably something my sister saidWorst insult you’ve ever given?•Worst insult? I don’t ever insult anyone but if i tried itd come off bad and poorly thought out so idkGot any weird kinks?•Define weird? I have a few i guess (my bdsm test results are a good follow up)How did you find out about sex?•My cousin being like yo did u knowTrashiest thing in your wardrobe?•Trashiest? Uhhhh i have ripped up jeans. I have fishnets. Couple see through tops. Short skirt those count?Worst Phobia?•Uhhh does vomit count??Hentai or the real thing?•As much as i joke about hentai and jiggle physics the real thing is betterEver been arrested?•No no nooooWhat are you most selfish about?•Food i guess?Who would you let die if given the chance to save them?•Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no one? i guess cause i mean lots of bad people but no one comes to mind that should die ??Who would you sacrifice yourself for?• Any of my closest friends (🍮🌺🎶🌑) My familySomething silly you believed as a kid?•When it stormed it was angels bowling. That you can grow a watermelon in your belly if you eat seedsWeirdest/most embarassing thing you’ve drawn?•Any of my art its horribleControversial role models?•I dunno who counts under this category. I dont even know who my role models areCringiest fandom you’ve been in?•Homestuck definitely. Still in it tho Cringiest thing you’ve shipped?•Honestly idk Ever had “an accident” in public?•Accident as in urine? yes or period? yesWhat helps you fall asleep?•Reading, Talking to people, sometimes musicWhat childish things do you still do?•oof to listen them all uhh,,,,, my parents still drive me everywhere even tho i have a license. i eat 90% of kids food like goldfish/mac and cheese/shaped foodWhat’s your age?•19 on tuesdayGrossest thing you’ve eaten?•EELHonest opinion on religion?•Someone should be allowed to believe in whatever they feel is right and not be judged for it. Freedom of religion should mean judgement and hate freeWhat does your laugh sound like?•A wheeze or gremlinHow would you describe your smile?•Uhhh too large but good i guess. it makes me eyes closeDid you go through any regrettable phases?•Hmmmmmmm my glitter phase no thnxEver dropped plans/projects and not said a word?•Yes,,,,Intovert/Extrovert?•Lately? IntrovertPersonality Type?•Uhhhhh i dunno how to answer this rllyUgliest thing in your wardrobe?•Hmmm,,,,,, i got plenty of ugly shirts. Would you wear pajama’s in public?•absolutely Weirdest thing that turned you on?•uhhhhhhhhh its urine related,,,,,,,,,,Pineapples on pizza????•no nobut if someone likes it go for itDo you use the XD emoticon?•Used toDo you have a dark sense of humour?•sometimes yeaWorst thing you ship?•Uhhhhhh recently? its kpop stuff oofTop or bottom?•Depends. i prefer to topTop or bottom bunk?•bottomPettiest thing you’ve cried over?•food 10000%Pettiest thing you’ve gotten mad over?•My friend starting a show w/o me when i said i was comingLongest time you’ve cried?•few hoursDo you touch the art in museums?•in the past yeaDo you have a fandom OC?•yes but we dont talk about the forbidden textsHow much do you believe in astrology?•somewhatHave you ever used a base for drawing?•yesHave you ever used MSPaint for drawing non-ironically?•noControversial opinion?•mayb if we stopped raising boys and some girls to think its ok to abuse/assault someone else we may have less of itAss or chest?•chestChest or genitals?•chestGenitals or ass?•assAny scars?•lots just depends on whereDo you pirate anything?•uhh,,,,,,,,games once or twiceurl for an old cringy social media account?•~PuRpLecHiCk28~Any post’s you’ve deleted and why?•my boobs and bcof anxiety and also any depression postHow long does it take you to get up in the morning?• an hour honestlyWhat will instantly turn you on?•uhhh,,,,, idk anymoreFave eye+hair colour combination?•brown/brown Have you already named your future children?•probably luna if its a girlDo you do drugs?•not rllyHow tall are you?•5’5Did you go through a “RANDOM XD” phase?•Oof yesDumbest thing you believed?•if i stuck with someone toxic itd get betterDildo of choice? (besides an actual dildo)•uhhh,,,,,, idk i guess id just want one lololDaddy kink?•nahWho could change your sexuality just by looking at you?•uhhhhh,,,,,,,,,,,🌺🌺🌺🌺,,,,,,,but also some kpop pplBara/Yaoi/Shota?•uhhh i only know yaoi so 👀 What area’s of your body are most sensitive?•behind my ears snd on my neckWeirdest dream you’ve had?•I was the surrogate for a friend and i had 9 children who all looked like ellen hello

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vroenis · 4 years

Text

Notes On A Conditional Form

I need a break from games writing, and I guess playing video games I’m not entirely enjoying. To be fair to the Uncharted series, I was also briefly dipping in and out of Battlefield V and that’s just not been going well for a long time. I’ll just sit quietly and wait for the new maps.

Today’s title is the most obvious and terrible of puns, for which I should be fired. You’re fired from your own journal - pack your shit and get the fuck out, Vee. Fine, I never liked this job anyway. Who am I kidding, I love this job - I’ve been writing consistently again since the 16th of February this year and really enjoying it.

For once I’m going to use something topical as a springboard for today’s discussion, so as I say on Twitter - Saturday is writing day.

The 1975′s new album Notes On A Conditional Form is out now, available on all the usual distribution platforms except for the good one that counts (Bandcamp) so go get it.

I’m just finishing up my first full listen-thru in the studio where I do my writing as I begin typing out this piece - actually Guys has just started up so it’s the final song. It’s the second time I’ve heard this track, the first time was last night when my week ended and I finally got a chance to sit down on the couch in-front of YouTube and the promo was in my recommendations. What an adorable video.

For the duration of this writing session, I’ve queued-up Telefon Tel Aviv because it suits my mood better - NOACF will play after Dreams Are Not Enough and it’ll probably play if I write for long enough.

I joked around on Instagram yesterday that I bought NOACF Friday morning but wouldn’t get a chance to listen to it until today. I could have listened to it during my work day but there’s no way I’d have had my first listen on the shitty UE Booms that have transducers made of stale bread I have at my work-from-home desk, plus I don’t want to have distractions for my first listen - be talking over it while I work and have to stop-start music during teleconferences and video-meetings etc. Friday was a particularly hectic day for me, but even if it wasn’t, the speakers alone are enough of a reason for me to not want to engage in critical listening in my work-space. I can’t use the 535s or 555s even, because constantly swapping from music to teleconference headphones would be a nightmare.

It’s fine - I just have to be patient. At some point you just stop having to listen to everything the minute you get it. Years ago, I absolutely would be slamming tunes as soon as I would download them - or back when we bought CDs from stores, R and I would be in the car, peeling plastic wrap and jamming them into the slot and cruising around having a listen. Even then, tho, I made it a practice of setting aside time for dedicated listening. Music has always been important to me, I don’t know if it’s tied intrinsically to being a musician, I don’t think it is but it could be, hard to tell. For as long as I’ve been recording things onto cassette from the radio and then buying CDs with my own money, I’ve spent time just listening to music - not while reading, not while doing chores or homework or recreational things like building Gundam kits and Lego, play board games or entertaining guests with other people altho it has its place backing all of these things.

I’ve always wanted to spend time having music as the main focus - the specific activity I engaged in.

When I studied Audio Production and Engineering, it was taught as a subject called Active Listening, albeit as a pragmatic subject of analysis both sonically and musically and I still appreciate it being taught this way. It engages students to perceive musical listening as something you should do as a verb the same way that it’s taught in psychology and social studies. While there are some specifics you can probably educate yourself with regards to the physics of audio and music theory, at some point it begins to become about what’s subjectively pleasing to your ear - this much is absolutely also taught - that much about sound is about perception and is subjective, and the industry of music (the actual course is literally called Music Industry: Technical Production) is about honing technical skills and combining them with understanding your own subjective perception and successfully marketing them.

The real art of active listening is simply paying attention - it’s rudimentary - it’s just not being passive. Most folks aren’t participants in their appreciation of music and that’s not a facetious statement - there’s nothing wrong with people who don’t take a greater role in their digest of music in general, it’s perfectly OK because it’s probably not that important to them. The point at which they feel they want more from what they hear is when they need to do something about it, but they don’t owe it to anyone else to do anything before that. You’ll get no soapbox ranting about pop-music from me.

What’s perhaps less OK is if an individual regularly expresses discontent at a generalised lack of quality or availability of good art but does nothing to seek it out. Good art has never been more accessible. “Oh Vee,” I hear you cluck, “Are you here fixin’ to tell me The 1975 is good art? Cos we gonna throw down.” If you disagree then firstly that’s fantastic. I mean, you’re wrong, but I’m happy for you. But also you’re already in a good space to know what you do and don’t like and should already be good and finding good art.

I’m getting distracted again.

As meandering as my writing seems to get, hopefully some of it is still healthily circular in some ways - and coming back to the reasons I’ve stepped back from other platforms and am finding it comforting to write regularly here on tumblr is that observation of the longer form. Here I get to set aside more time and give myself more consideration to a topic. I sit in the studio and get my thoughts out over a few hours, then over the next few days, I revisit and re-read snippets or all of what I’ve read, in part to proof-read and correct it but also to go over the subjects I’ve written about in review. Sometimes reviewing inspires further notes in my phone that may or may not turn into journals in the future, but that doesn’t have to be a thing, I’ve not decided yet, but I’ve long ago abandoned the need for every action to bear fruit; it’s a very capitalist way of thinking, this framing of return on investment, that a thing is only worth doing if it’s profitable in the future. The action often has value then and there, it’s the act of doing it, but there has to be an action beyond just the thought, because if I don’t write it down, I know a day later when I want to summon the thought again because I liked it, it’ll be gone from my brain and I’ll hate myself for not noting it. This is how the brain works - it’s immensely capable and sometimes, when everything is important but there are a lot of things, it can’t keep track of them all so at some point it starts discarding them, especially in the short-term.

I watch a lot of YouTube. I really enjoy Rooster Teeth videos and I’ve had a First subscription for almost two years now. Oddly I still watch almost all their content on YouTube simply because it’s more convenient to do so across all devices, but the point of having a premium subscription for me is to support them as content creators, not to access content earlier or really to access anything exclusive - I’ll be honest, I’m not watching any exclusives at all and couldn’t tell you what that content is. I’m also super glad that they opened up First access free during Covid, so right now you can sign up for First and watch everything thru their web portal and see all that exclusive stuff plus watch everything early and it won’t cost you anything. Yes - part of the point is the marketing benefit that after Covid, they hope you’ll see that First has economic value for you and that you’ll pay for it afterwards, but they transparently, plainly and frequently acknowledge this in their shows which I suspect is more than other companies are doing.

Outside of Rooster Teeth - which do create a lot of content at 30 minutes and above, often 1 hour shows but often 10 to 15 minute episodes, I still do watch a lot of typical 10 to 20 minute YouTube clips, especially after work. My reasons for watching these are probably similar to a lot of people - after an arduous day of office admin, often it’s easier to watch smaller, more easily digested pieces of media instead of material that takes potentially more psychological commitment. How that commitment takes shape is different for everyone - for some people, heavy narrative is more demanding. For me, if you’ve taken any cues about my tastes, you’ve probably figured it’s a little different.

Some of the short clips I watch are video gamers arsing about being funny; a lot of Funhaus (under Rooster Teeth) falls into this category, but a lot of my watching is comprised of Synth Tubers and musicians. There’s some stuff in the periphery - because of Gavin Free’s adjacency in Rooster Teeth, I might watch the occasional SloMo Guys clip that might appear in my recs, as well as the odd 1975 promo because I’m subbed so their single releases appear in my feed and Dirty Hit and adjacent artists will hit my recs too, so again once in a while I might try them to varying success - I bought half of Wolf Alice’s Visions Of A Life but couldn’t bring myself to pay for the full album. Maybe next time.

YouTube is a bit like the thumb, heart and like. It’s the short-term hit, the low-level engagement for my visual and auditory senses. I’m not knocking it, it’s fine. It’s good. It’s not entirely like but not entirely unlike sugar. Does the analogy carry all the way thru to if I consume too much of it, it’ll give my brain virtual brain diabetus? I’m not entirely sure but it could be worth being cautious of. I don’t think that’s a real thing but one thing I certainly have been missing is real cinema, and the other night I finally turned everything off and put on a bluray I’d bought of a film I’d as yet not seen, and was really glad I did;

I don’t often get to watch films that are for me, as egotistical a statement as that might sound. When J is home, I try not to subject her to my film taste, or at least some of the more rigorous sides of it. There’s a decent amount of crossover in our tastes which is plenty fine for us to share, but for some things I’d wait for her to go to bed or be out or away. I’m not sure how she’d take something like The Favourite, there’s a lot to like about the narrative as a whole, but I certainly can understand how people might not like it.

Nevertheless I adored the film, it’s almost perfect for me with the exception of some of the editing - Yorgos Lanthimos edited it himself, it would seem, so that’s ah... a thing. Anyway, alas were I here to discuss the film because it’s an absolute smashing delight.

I really do miss sitting down and just being able to be immersed in good cinema. It isn’t because I don’t want to, either - it really is because I find it so difficult to find film aligned with my tastes. If you want to know what those tastes are, there’s a page full of it, and yes, David Lynch and Terrence Malick are on it so I’m one of thooose people. Whatever, I so don’t fucken care. I’m not a snob, tho - I’ve talked about it before, can’t be arsed digging thru the journals but they only go as far back as Feb so have at it - but I dug the first John Wick, Michael Bay has his place, I mean, he’s a cock, but I respect and admire the cinemacraft - I totally talked about that (maybe I should go find it). I really *really* love action and stunt-craft a lot - there’s a lot of hard work that goes into that - not just sets and props but personnel, stage-craft, lighting, vis-fx and camera. It’s good industry, it looks great and it’s simply fun to watch.

Anyway.

I have action films on bluray, I just don’t talk about them. Instead I keep a list of my weird shit because they get less attention, less money and I feel like they speak more to my experience and there are fewer things in this life that speak to my experience. The list of video games in the journal before this one speak more to my experience, that’s why there’s a list of them. Uncharted speaks infinitely less to my experience, and that’s probably why I hit it with a stick so much, because dear lord jesus fuck look at how much money it gets, and yet look at how poorly the people who made it are being treated and how much fuck-all is being done about it, so fuck that shit, unite and unionise, and support your fucking indies. I’m getting distracted again... it’s not hard to do at the moment...

A dear friend had a birthday recently and they asked for some music - actually let’s roll back. Once our state went into lock-down and we couldn’t go visit one-another, one of my best friends K and I started talking over video-calls instead of our normal phone-calls. We’d normally speak over the phone because we’d see each other when she’d come over and have dinner with J and I, or we’d all have lunch etc. So me being me, there’s no way I’m going to be happy just using my phone - of-course I can run Zoom from my PC and use my webcam, but run all my audio gear thru my interface - meaning a nice condenser mic instead of a shitty phone or hands free, plus all my synths. This is how our video-calls go - I play music for her while we talk. It’s an absolute blast.

On one particular call, she told me the music I was playing at the time would be really great to help her with the work she was doing (also working from home). I was only just playing a Rhodes patch thru the reverb unit with a massive tail but she did have some decent bluetooth headphones on and it sounded great. That weekend, I spent a couple of hours recording a few pieces of simple music, just one instrument and fx direct - no sequencing, straight into audio - lightly normalised - topped and tailed, encoded to mp3 and sent them to her.

I haven’t had a lot of studio time at all over the last two years - J and I have had a really rough year - not with one another, but challenges that we’ve had to face. If you read back thru the journals, you’ll see another one of those which has further flow-on effects for us that we continue to deal with. That’s life. Both she and I have been dealing with these kinds of challenges for most of our lives from a very young age. Sometimes I spend a bit of time noodling, as J calls it, on a piece of gear here and there, and in the past I’ve taken a few bits of gear out of the studio down into the kitchen and recorded videos for Instagram that have been fun - usually for a weekend or week while she’s been out of state with family.

There’s that thing again with only doing things in short bursts and hopefully I’m able to illustrate this pattern of shortness, of us having to live our lives in short bursts. I’m not going to hook it into the evils of YouTube (I like YouTube and use it) or Spotify (I hate Spotify and don’t use it) - as always, these things seem to follow people’s patterns of behaviour rather than shape it - but there are probably some other evils that have shaped our patterns of behaviour and the consumer services have simply followed. Are we being over-worked and is the quality of our life out of balance? Probably. Are we losing touch with a better sense of engagement with one another, activity, focus and art? Very likely. Do we point a furiously waggling finger at Twitter and Facebook and YouTube and yell BAD and run to the hills to farm organic vegetables and hide from 5G (couldn’t help it) for the rest of our days? Not at all because that’s clearly stupid.

I like Twitter. I really like Twitter. I really like YouTube. I really like the Wire and the accessibility and ease it’s brought about. Just because we haven’t quite figured out how best to utilise it doesn’t mean we have to set it on fire and huddle in the dark. I don’t get that approach - we are astonishingly intelligent beings, yet our reaction to not being able to fully process complex things always seems to be SHUN AND RUN. Don’t credit me with that, I’m sure I read it somewhere - I wish Mamoru Oshii’s external memory (or wherever he shoplifted it from) was a real thing and I could check it (NB: I did exactly that, but couldn’t find anything culturally remarkable enough as a source).

Dedicating time to recording those pieces of music for K was really amazing. I just listened back to them and I’m really happy with how they came out. If you ask nicely I might post one of them up here but you’ll have to ask really nice and understand they’re super ambient so they might put you to sleep but that’s one of the desired effects, I guess. Watching The Favourite was amazing, and I have to try to dig out more cinema to dig into. I’m really hoping Ghost of Tsushima reviews well for PS4 because I’m pretty much sold on it - I’d like a game I can play for long periods rather than short bursts because I value enduring video game experiences that aren’t frustrating. And writing here every week has been the most positive step I’ve taken this year, super beneficial and I hope at some point I can get around to discussing some of the other artefacts of art I keep mentioning in greater detail, or at least more about my engagement with them. That list of films has a lot going on in it as far as how it’s influenced my life. I say that it’s listed in no particular order, but Ishikawa’s Tokyo.Sora remains to this day my most favourite film by a long way, no other film has come close, but there are a lot of films that are almost as special and that leave everything else a long way behind. Most of Lynch’s films are pretty special to me, so too most of Oshii’s, but I’d love to talk about why films like Polgar’s Exit and Fliefauf’s Womb are there for their tone and feel more than their content.

I think that’s coming. For the moment I’m still writing as a capture of my mental state in time. Barely anyone uses the term microblogging in reference to Twitter any more but that’s exactly what it is - it’s a granular timecode of people’s pragmatic and emotional reactions to their experience of life - usually too granular to be useful without strange barely accessible tools to process. For me a return to traditional writing has been both immensely useful and satisfying. I enjoy both cataloguing and documentation, but I also love the mechanical process of such. Sitting down and spending time writing has given me perspective on how and when to use a granular tool like Twitter - even for shitposting - and Instagram too, tho shuttering Instagram is still on the cards - and it’s amplifying every activity I dedicate time to.

More and more I’m getting down on the floor with our dogs and playing with them - I did this anyway but I do it more, to bond with them and enjoy a sense of play and place at their level in pack harmony. There’s nothing overly spiritual and wanky about that, they’re just our dogs and we love them, it’s just about understanding canine behaviour and enjoying it.

This isn’t a puff piece about the perfect life, far from it. I’m not just trying to be positive either. There’s still an immense amount of shit happening around me, never you mind. It’s hard to contextualise everything all at the same time, so don’t be tempted to believe I’m here doing a HASHTAG BLESSED post because you can fuck right off. Go back and look at my taste in films damnit and tell me a positivity-only person digs those films get fucked. You wouldn’t know what we’ve been thru and I wouldn’t know what you’ve been thru either. Let us talk about shit sometimes and don’t do that whataboutism shit. You should be more mature than that. If there’s anything granular media has done it’s make you a lazy thinker so shake yourself out of it. You know better. You *know* you know better. Come on.

I might draw some art for you to steal, come back and insert it but I’m happy with ending here.

#Notes On A Conditional Form #NOACF #The 1975 #writing about music #chrono #2020 #Rooster Teeth #youtube #Funhaus #The Favourite #Cinema #work from home #life balance #film #writing about film #writing about writing

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spicynbachili1 · 6 years

Text

Neo Geo Mini outshines the PS1 Classic, could pave the way for a GBA Mini

But it’s not without its missteps

I don’t know what’s going on with the Neo Geo Mini. Shortly after I got my hands on one, SNK announced that an upgraded Holiday version of the hardware would be going up for pre-order in the coming days. That’s not a good sign. I have to guess that the initial SKU failed to sell as well as SNK had expected, leaving them scrambling to rework the units they already produced into a more marketable package. Their apparent lack of confidence in their product leaves me pessimistic about this weird little machine’s future.

It’s a shame too, because this is by far my favorite plug-and-play mini console to date, at least in terms of its library. I bought the NES and SNES Classics day one, and I love them to “bits”, but there’s no denying that nearly all the games on each system are outdated. That’s the point of the nostalgia-powered novelty collections though, right? To take a trip in your mind back in time?

If so, then that’s probably why the Neo Geo Mini isn’t selling. These are not the games that many grew up loving. These are the games that most of us could only afford to play for ten minutes a week at the local arcade, before going home and sinking hours into The Legend of Zelda or Sonic the Hedgehog. That said. there are several games on the console that stand up to the best that 2018 has to offer in their respective genres. Garou: Mark of the Wolves looks and plays better than 99% of today’s fighting games. Metal Slug 3 is still the best looking 2D run-and-gun action game I’ve ever played. There are also plenty of quality games on here that I’d never heard of before. For instance, if you told me that Ninja Masters was as all new indie fighter, and not a Neo Geo title from the ’90’s, not only would I have believed you, but I would have been more than happy to pay $15 for it.

That’s why, despite my love of Jumping Flash and Super Puzzle Fighter, the Neo Geo Mini beats out the PS1 Classic for me this holiday season. It’s also why I am more optimistic than ever that Nintendo will skip the N64 when it rolls out its next Classic console, and will instead jump straight to the Game Boy family of systems. I’ve already taken my Neo Geo Mini on the go with me a few times, and I’m sure people would love to do the same with a similarly versatile handheld/home console pre-loaded with games from Nintendo pre-DS portable generation. The Neo Geo Mini has issues, but its definitely worth looking into once Black Friday rolls around.

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The Setup

The Neo Geo Mini is a better handheld than it is a home console. I have fairly large hands, but I’ve had no problems with the stick and buttons on the console itself. The screen is also bright and clear. The console doesn’t take batteries, and instead runs off of a USB port, similar to most cell phones. I’ve played it running off my car’s cigarette lighter USB adapter, a mobile cell phone battery, and hooked up to my laptop on the train, and as of yet I’ve had no problem with power supplies, or pulling off special moves in KoF 2002 while on the move.

The optional control pads (sold separately) aren’t nearly as nice. The analog stick is loose and the buttons are loud and clicky. They aren’t impossible to get used to, but its strange that they are such a downgrade from the stick built into the console itself.

In some misguided attempt to replicate the arcade experience, all the games are programmed to have a set amount of tokens for both players, You can tone down the difficulty ,or increase the amount of default lives you have for most of the games, but your starting token count never changes.

These are not arcade original roms though. Most have been altered for the home market to let you save then restart from whatever stage you last made it to. You can also open up the emulator’s menu and activate save states. It’s a pretty weird system that is cumbersome and confusing at first, but that’s easy to forget once you acclimate.

The emulator also has some real bare-bones features, like the ability to turn on pixel smoothing and stretching. It’s extremely small-time stuff, and for the most part, will make each game look different or worse, but never better. With the correct aspect ratio and smoothing off, the games look about as good as they do on the Switch or PS4, at least to me. I haven’t had my eyes checked this year, so maybe I’m missing something, but pressed my face up right up to the screen to look for artifacting, and my 41-year-old eyes didn’t detect any. So that’s good news. The bad news is, the only extras here are a couple of stickers. No in-menu history section, no bonuses, nothing but a instruction booklet for the hardware itself.

The Games

There are 40 games on the Neo Geo Mini. The console costs about $110, so you’re getting each one for less than $3, about $5 less than what they might go for on digital storefronts, assuming they are available anywhere else at all. They fall under the genres of fighters, wrestling games, run and gun, shmups, beat ’em ups, sports games and unnerving Tetris knock offs. There’s actually only one of these here, but it’s worth mentioning for how bad it made me feel.

The range of quality here is pretty enormous. Some of these games are a sincere waste of time unless you go in strictly to marvel at how much gaming has changed over the past 20 years. Others are games that I sincerely believe are some of the best ever made. I’ll break them up into three categories (Oddballs, Mid-tier and Classics) and do my best to describe them for you.

The Oddballs

Blue’s Journey, one of the oldest games in the bunch, is relic from a bygone era, not unlike a cigarette commercial starring The Flintstones. It has a decidedly launch era TurboGrafx-16 feel to it, with overly detailed backgrounds and very small characters. They don’t make them like this anymore for a reason. It’s generally messy, but in a sort of “manic toddler eating a $1 box of sugar cookies” sort of way.

Robo Army is so bad that it’s funny, but not that funny. The opening cinematic is completely bananas, promising unhinged Sci-Fi violence on whole other level, but when you finally get control of your character, things slow down quickly. It’s a beat ’em up where you play as a cyborg that can randomly turn into a car, as you blow up other cyborgs, giant dogs that turn out to be cyborgs, and angry cars. It’s clunky and sad, but those with a morbid curiosity for what people used to be willing to play for $.25 microtransactions might find it interesting in a scientific sort of way.

Mutation Nation starts off feeling similarly janky, but after a few minutes, you’ll see that a lot of the animation here is pretty solid. Charge moves lie at the core of the game’s combat system, which is novel for the genre, and the Akira-meets-Cronenberg character designs are surprising, sometimes genuinely disturbing.

Ghost Pilots is a top down WW2 shmup that was probably trying to leech off the popularity of 1942 and 1943. It’s totally fine, but nothing to write home about.

Crossed Swords is another beat ’em up, but this one plays from a Punch-Out!!/Pato Box perspective. It’s more polished looking that Robo Army, and the RPG elements add some depth, but the combat is a total mess. That’s bad news for a game that’s about, uh, combat.

Puzzled is the Tetris-knock off I brought up at the top. It really makes me appreciate all the little quality-of-life improvements that are found in recent Tetris games like Tetris Effect and Puyo Puyo Tetris. All you can do is move, rotate and drop you paces, so even the most basic of advancements like the T-spin is out of the picture. The game has a campaign mode and different stages, based around trying to free pixies who are trapped under some blocks? I don’t know guys, video games just sort of do their own thing sometimes.

The Mid-Tiers

Magician Lord is one of the first games I ever blew $20 on at an arcade in order to see it to the end. Playing it now is not that great. In many ways it feels like Castlevania with larger characters, but the controls are just as stiff, making it hard to keep your giant hitbox out of the way of enemy attacks. It’s got a cool transformation gimmick though (you can turn into a dragon, a ninja, or even Poseidon for some reason) and one heck of a creepy womb level.

Kizuna Encounter is a fighting game that probably started of in development as a two-player beat ’em up. Two of the games ten playable characters are beautifully animated, while the rest are serviceable but unimpressive in their appearances. What’s really interesting about the game is it’s tag team system. Unlike in recent tag fighters like Marvel Vs. Capcom: Infinite, you have to get close to your partner before you can tag them in. They don’t automatically jump in when the character you’re using is out of health either, adding an interesting layer of strategy to the otherwise standard Street Fighter II-style fighter.

Ninja Masters feels like it was supposed to be the first entry in a series that would work as the Ninja equivalent to Samurai Showdown. They clearly didn’t have a lot of RAM to work with for their ambitions, as the characters are relatively small, but it has some really smartly executed animations. If I were game designer and one of my students wanted to learn how to make realistic, non-pandering breast physics for their game, I’d probably point them to towards Ninja Masters. The whole thing culminating in battle with good old Nobunaga, which is a lot of fun for fans of magical Japanese history games like myself.

Sengoku 3 is another ninja game, a beat ’em up this time, one that’s gotten a lot of praise from retro enthusiasts over the years. I’m not 100% sure why. It’s got good art and a varied cast of characters, but nothing about it really stands out about it. Maybe I’m just unfairly comparing it to the Capcom Dungeon and Dragons games without realizing it.

Blazing Star (sequel to Pulstar) is a pretty good shmup that works on a upgrade system that extends the length and strength of your charge shot meter. Picking up power ups doesn’t always make your basic shot better, but it does give you the potential to fire off huge payloads of neon energy if you play your cards right. Other than that, a standard sci-fi anime shmup.

Last Resort is more up my alley, with a novel take on R-Type‘s bit system and even greater attention to detail to make the world you destroy feel lived in. The open levels takes place in a city under siege by giant robots, featuring little civilians driving – or even running – away from the carnage in a futile attempt to survive. It’s adorable and sad in a way that few modern shmups bother going for anymore.

Shock Troopers and its sequel are Ikari Warriors-likes with an added evasive maneuver (a roll or a jump) to get you away from bullets, though it has a fair amount of a cooldown so you can’t spam it. The animation is better in the second one, but some of the backgrounds and characters have a weird pre-rendered look that can be a bit of a turn off, whereas the first one has more consistent art direction overall. Still, both are fun enough if you’re in the mood for some hard boiled co-op arcade action.

King of Monsters, King of Monsters 2 and 3 Count Bout, are all wrestling games that are a nice alternative for people who want to beat up their friends without having to worry about too much depth getting the the way of the immediate violence. The King of Monsters games are based around Kaiju films, which adds an extra layer of charm if you’re a fan of the classic rubber suit Toho movies of old.

3 Count Bout plays it more straight faced, but it’s definitely very “videogamey”, as are Foot Ball Frenzy, Super Sidekicks and Top Players Golf, the other three sports games found in this collection. Technical limitations permitted them for going for anything that approaching “realism”, but the sprite-based graphics have a loving, hand crafted feel to them, and the respective designs of each game play like cartoonish approximations of the source material.

World Heroes 2 Perfect has a special place in my heart, as its has both the most superhuman fake Bruce Lee in the history of gaming and a psychic monk based on Rasputin, Russia’s famous love machine, but I have to admit that it’s not as deep, original, or well crafted as most of the other fighting games here. Still, it’s the best World Heroes game of them all, so if you were ever curious about what the Battleborn equivalent of ’90’s 2D fighters was like, then you’re in luck.

The Classics

A lot has already been written about the Metal Slug, Samurai Shodown, and King of Fighters families of games, so I probably won’t go on and on about them here. Like I said at the top, I think Metal Slug 3 is one of the best looking games ever made. Metal Slug X/2 and the original game in the series come close behind it. Metal Slug 4 and 5 are notably less visually impressive than the games that came before them, with little in the way of new enemies other than bosses. So you can stop after 3 if you want, but if you don’t, go into the next two with lowered expectations.

There are only three Samurai Shodown games here, and they stand out as some of the most extreme iterations of the franchise. Sam Sho 2 is is essentially the first game but with more characters. Samurai Shodown IV: Amakusa’s Revenge retains the new and improved sprites and Slash/Burt systems from Samurai Shodown III while (you guessed it) adding more characters. Samurai Shodown V Special is essentially an apology for Samurai Shodown V, bringing together characters from every chapter of the series for one last hurrah.

The King of Fighters games are a little more difficult to break down, as they work as a giant crossover of various SNK franchises. Technically, Art of Fighting and Fatal Fury Special (an enhanced version of Fatal Fury 2) work as their prequels. They are both dated compared to the games that followed, but they have significance. Fatal Fury Special is the first game to officially start the shared SNK fighting game universe with it’s hidden battle against Ryo from Art of Fighting. Real Bout Fatal Fury is also on this collection. I almost put it on the oddities list, as its weird, three-plane fighting system is pretty strange. In the end though, I threw it here with the classics because it’s definitely a significant part of the evolution of fighting games.

From there were have King of Fighters ’95. ’97, ’98, 2000, and 2002. The offer a nice overview of how the franchise evolved during the height of popularity enjoyed by fighting games in the late 90’s into the early 2000’s. From a visual perspective though, they largely pale compared to The Last Blade 2 and Garou: Mark of the Wolves. For my money, they are the two most beautiful SNK fighting games of that era, or any era for that matter.

[These impressions are based on a retail build of the hardware provided by the publisher.]

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THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH Meets New Characters And Rallies Around Rock Lee

Welcome back to the GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH! I'm Carolyn, and I'll be your host this week as we make our way through all 220 episodes of the original Naruto. Last week, we covered episodes 43-49, and we continue this week with episodes 50-56.

Let's be honest, I like me some good pathos. While the exams are definitely one of my favorite arcs in this series, I can't help but be drawn into the aftermath of the one-on-one tournaments. Especially poor Rock Lee's physical devastation that he's still somehow determined to overcome. The gut-wrenching stuff is the stuff that really gets me. Anyway, enough of that.

Let's get on with what really matters... you. Or in this case, reader WiseJake237, with a good question about Rock Lee and chakra!

Yeah, the Rock Lee vs. Gaara fight is really cool, but one thing's got me confused. If Lee can only use Taijutsu, how is he able to master the forbidden art of opening the gates that control chakra flow? Doesn't controlling chakra fall under the category of Ninjutsu?

Nate: I think the difference is that Ninjutsu molds chakra to create something, like a spell--Sasuke molds chakra to do a fire jutsu, for example, while Lee is just actively releasing chakra in his body to power it up. He's not actively using it as much as he's channeling it, but that's just my take on it.

OK, let's see how the Crunchyroll Features team is holding up after this week's episodes!

Naruto has taken to saying his signature catchphrase “Believe it!" a bit less. Do you miss it?

Kara: He still -dattebayo’s a little at the end once in a while, but yeah. I wasn’t sure if it was just me noticing it less or if Naruto really was saying it less. I don’t really miss it so much, but that could be because it achieved joke status in my circles so quickly.

Joseph: I feel like he’s doing his little vocal tic just as much as ever, they just don’t always bother giving it the “believe it” flavor in the subs.

Peter: I didn’t even notice.

Paul: I think Naruto's still doing his “-dattebayo” speech affectation about as much as usual, but he has fewer lines in this batch of episodes, because they focus more on the supporting characters.

Jared: I feel like I still heard it here and there, but it wasn’t enough to make me think it wasn’t as frequent, so I guess I really didn’t miss it much.

Danni: It’s always felt like an awkward addition, so I don’t miss it, honestly.

Kevin: Honestly, since I’m watching this subbed, I only occasionally caught the “dattebayo” anyway, so him not saying it as much really doesn’t make a difference to me.

Naruto has come face-to-face with the Nine-Tailed Fox and that thing is terrifying. How do you think this event will change/shape Naruto’s journey to becoming Hokage?

Kara: This is seriously exciting! I’ve been waiting to see how that comes into play. So far, Naruto has had to learn to exert discipline over his own impulses and personality. He’s doing a lot better than he was but, you know… Naruto is still Naruto. Now he’s going to have to do the same with something that’s a lot bigger and scarier than anything about him personally. I’m interested to see how taming the Nine-Tailed Fox helps him discipline himself.

Joseph: This is a really big event, and while I don’t know that it was handled as expertly as it could have been, the Nine-Tailed Fox is an appropriately intimidating entity. Also, tick the box, because pushing Naruto in this direction is the first cool thing Jiraiya has done.

Peter: I always thought Kishimoto steamrolled what I thought would be a huge revelation for Naruto. He discovered the reason he was ostracized as a child was he had a literal demon sealed inside him and didn’t even bother investigating it? I suppose it changes nothing but it probably wouldn’t have taken too much effort to discover who his father was after that. He kind of doesn’t even interface with it despite going kyubi several times until the finale of this stretches final episode.

Paul: Personally, I think Megumi Hayashibara's turn as Hakumen no Mono in Ushio and Tora is the scariest incarnation of a nine-tailed fox that I've seen in anime, but Tessho Genda's take in Naruto is a close second. I love that Naruto's reaction is to belligerently demand that the fox fork over some Chakra, like he's a deadbeat roommate living in Naruto's body. As for the final question, Naruto becomes Hokage? OMG! Spoilers!

Jared: I’m real curious to see just how much of a power boost this gives him initially and how that’ll help him in the final bits of the chunin exams. I also liked how he just didn’t back down from it which earlier Naruto might have done.

Danni: I expected a multi-episode stretch where Naruto literally has to fight his inner demon to earn his power, so I was pleasantly surprised to find his inner demon is just kind of a deadbeat roommate finally forking over all the rent money he owes.

Kevin: *Looks ahead to Shippuden* Uhh… I plead the Fifth on the grounds that I legitimately don’t want to spoil what happens.

David: While I too know from experience how this plays out, I wanted to point out that its placement in the story is pretty perfect as a mirror or counter of sorts to Sasuke’s own internal power issues. It’s going to be interesting to see how differently they each handle their newly discovered powers.

So … we’ve met Jiraiya and he’s really something, isn’t he? If this is your first introduction to the Pervy Sage, what are your thoughts on him so far? If you know how Jiraiya turns out, how do you feel about this introduction?

Kara: So I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned this before, but years ago I messed around with the old Billy vs. Snakeman game on Anime Cubed. That started out with Naruto one-offs but eventually brought in Bleach and Death Note and a lot of other stuff. So whenever I see a new character, I immediately think of their BvS counterpart—which means I only think of the comical view of them. It was really cool seeing that Jiraiya is actually kind of a badass, and but for one thing, I would 100% name him New Favorite Character.

Joseph: I have all the cool stuff he does later in my head, so I forgot what a dip Jiraiya was in the beginning. What a dopey introduction for a cool character. I thought Naruto already had pervy dudes in it but I guess they didn’t have the ultimate requisite perv sage yet.

Peter: I completely forgot how bad he was. I guess I didn’t think about it much back in high school when I first watched Naruto but man Jiraiya really sucks. Tsunade was the only good to come of that squad.

Paul: If I could go the rest of my life without encountering another example of the Shonen Jump “perv” character creeping on girls from the bushes, I would be able to die with no regrets, fist raised to the Heavens, Raoh from Fist of the North Star-style.

Jared: They really wanted to nail down and beat you over the head with the fact that Jiraiya is a skeevy dude and leers at women constantly. I hope what everyone’s saying that he becomes better is true because oof, that was a bad first impression.

Danni: He’s just Roshi for a new generation of Jump readers, and like Roshi the only thing about him I like is his big animal friend.

Kevin: I am part of the group that has seen the show before, and this introduction really doesn’t do Jiraiya service. He’s awesome and is actually really important to the overall backstory of the world, but this paints him as just a pervert who is experienced enough to teach Naruto, and seems to have a bit of backstory that we don’t know yet.

David: Jiraiya, as he is right now, isn’t a very likable character in my opinion. If I remember correctly, he does get more interesting and fun to watch later, but I wouldn’t blame anyone for coming out of this introduction with a bad taste in their mouths. Compare to Kakashi, who reads questionable material out in the open but isn’t quite such a creep.

Speaking of Pervy Sages, the Sexy Jutsu is back in full force. Is that killing this part of the story for you? It feels quite creepy seeing Jiraiya constantly ogling his underage student.

Kara: Yeah. That’s the one thing that stops me from naming him New Favorite Character. It doesn’t kill this part of the story, entirely, but it does shake me out of it temporarily. I understand it’s meant to be funny, but wow no. Stop. Please.

Joseph: It’s 100% clear that Jiraiya is like three bushes away from being concealed enough from the public eye to have sex with Naruto in Sexy Jutsu form. It’s a bad gag.

Peter: Oof.

Paul: Blargh. I like the idea of three legendary ninja that are so strong that they basically answer to no one except themselves. It reminds me of the Seven Warlords and the Four Emperors from One Piece, and how their presence (or absence) can completely tilt the political balance and set world-shaking events in motion. I just wish it wasn't wrapped up in a package like Jiraiya as he's currently presented.

Jared: Ban sexy jutsu and ban Jiraiya doing this.

Danni: I hate the frog man.

Kevin: Can’t say I disagree. Honestly, most of the time I’m not too upset about the Sexy Jutsu, since generally, it is either on screen for a short time or Naruto is using it in a surprisingly strategic way, but the scenes with Jiraiya are where it got legitimately uncomfortable at times, as the middle-aged man gets a nosebleed from someone he explicitly knows is a 12-year-old boy who just looks female (and decidedly not 12) for the moment.

David: The only blessing here is that there is a pretty large gap between times when Sexy Jutsu rears its ugly head.

Man, Rock Lee, you guys. Given how much everyone has loved him over the past couple weeks, how are you all holding up watching his brutal, emotional journey?

Kara: ROCK LEE DESERVES BETTER. That said, I was kind of surprised to see that the show didn’t immediately reward “hard work and guts,” but instead chose to show actual consequences for using a killer move.

Joseph: It’s a bummer of an ending to Rock Lee’s battle, but I kind of love that about it. Rather than giving him a victoriously explosive finale, Kishimoto totally ripped him up and put him back further than square one. With that said, please get well soon, Lee, we love you.

Peter: Sakura’s line at the end really killed the scene for me, kind of implying neither girl has even attempted to work as hard, not just Rock Lee, but any of the boys in the cast. I really like Rock. I’m not sure if he ever really gets a narrative pay-off but both Kishimoto and Pierrot love to show off his power so in that way he gets a lot more than similar characters like Chad.

Paul: If you'll pardon the pro-wrestling reference, Rock Lee is clearly the Mick Foley of Naruto, in that everybody loves him yet his most famous matches tend to involve him getting his ass royally kicked. I don't like to see Lee suffer like this, but I also know that, on the meta-textual level, there was no way in heck he was going to beat Gaara. That's just not how these kinds of story arcs are written.

Jared: The Rock Lee comeback tour starts now. I’m even more curious to see where they go with him as the guy who tried his hardest and still came up short, so where mentally does he go from here. Even if he wasn’t able to beat Gaara, he’s still a winner in my heart.

Danni: I really, really wanted him to win, but I’m at least satisfied with how he lost. He fought to the bitter end, past the brink of consciousness. I have a sneaking suspicion his ninja days aren’t over yet.

Kevin: This is largely why I think people love Lee so much. Sure, you got to see him grow in power immensely during his fight, but he really endears himself to the audience by not giving up on his dreams, even when literally everyone is telling him that there is no hope of achieving them.

David: Always, always a fan of when stories get you excited about a character, have them lose or fail in some way, yet manage to only leverage that to make you like them even more. Rock Lee is a huge winner in that area.

And on that note, the one-on-one battle portion of the exams was a popular arc. Is this new arc jarring? Is it a welcome change? How are you all adjusting to the post-exam arc?

Kara: I loved the battles so much, and I loved finally getting to meet a lot of these other characters. But after all that, I really am kind of ready to bring it back down to our protagonist again. Unlike the bit before the Chunin Exam, though, I feel like this period of time is letting us see the growth of the characters and letting those events take hold more permanently. Like, even Ino and Sakura are showing growth in their friendship.

Joseph: With just a couple post-battle episodes, I haven’t quite settled in yet. I’m completely fine with some downtime, though. Naruto is generally pretty good at its peaks and valleys.

Peter: I forgot they got an entire month. This is where my perception of time got really messed up because I felt like Sasuke Retrieval was right after Chunin Exams. Wasn’t even sure whether Naruto learned his super move before the last stretch. Seems like a huge amount of time considering there are supposed to be a ton of diplomats in town ready to watch the event.

Paul: After all of the intense combat of the Forest of Death and the preliminary matches, I liked that they took some time to focus on everyone training for The Final Test. I liked the idea that Naruto has been brute-forcing his away along while relying on his superhuman stamina, and I liked that the focus of his training involves Naruto learning how to manipulate his Chakra with finesse. We also get a glimpse at the bigger picture, with the various Villages plotting intrigues against one another. It's a welcome change of pace.

Jared: The way the show has been moving at such a rapid pace with the Forest of Death and all the fights, there needed to be some downtime. After coming off the highs of those last few fights, it did feel somewhat like the show slammed the brakes, but that hasn’t wavered my anticipation of the final parts of this arc.

Danni: It hasn’t been as jarring as I thought it might be. I tend to like one-on-one training arcs that really lean into a character’s strengths and weaknesses, teaching them how to make use of both. I didn’t think Naruto would ever use a summoning jutsu, so I’m eager to see him ride some big frogs in the future. Again, though, why Jiraiya???

Kevin: In short, I wish that the preliminaries hadn’t happened. Just cut out the prelims, change nothing else, and then add in the prelim fights as the first round of the main third Exam. This month of downtime is great for introducing new mentors and getting the Genin to have new abilities, but it really doesn’t work well when it comes between two sets of 1-on-1 fights with high emotional stakes.

David: Honestly, it mostly just seems weird that they would put such a huge gap in what’s essentially the middle of an exam. Imagine taking a test, you get two-thirds in, and then your professor tells everyone to go home and study some more for the last part. Bizarre.

As always, high points and low points. What you got?

Kara: High point, absolutely where we left off, with Naruto finally confronting the Nine-Tailed Fox. Close second being my perfect son Rock Lee still trying to train even while in multiple casts. Low point is any and all Sexy Jutsus, and this probably won’t change.

Joseph: Low point: Jiraiya’s introduction and almost every scene he’s in here. High point: Naruto’s attempts to use summoning jutsu resulting in increasingly less tiny frog children.

Peter: Low point was Jiraiya. High point Naruto confronting his inner demon. Pretty straightforward this time.

Paul: High point: Choji Akimichi finally getting to eat some BBQ, which is a welcome reward after he got completely punked in his preliminary match. Low point: Jiraiya.

Jared: Low point was all the sexy jutsu and Jiraiya being Jiraiya. High point would be Rock Lee continuing to be the best even when he’s hurt and Naruto finally facing off against the Nine-Tailed Fox.

Danni: High point was seeing everyone acknowledge Rock Lee even in his defeat. I don’t really have a low point this time around ha ha just kidding it’s Jiraiya.

Kevin: High Point: I know that it started in last week’s episodes, but I will always love Lee’s fight, and I absolutely adore the Eight Inner Gates as a concept. The only thing that can content with it for top moment is Lee doing push ups outside the hospital, due to the sheer emotional weight of the scene. Low Point: Worst moment is probably the first time that Jiraiya sees Naruto’s Sexy Jutsu, for reasons discussed above. Other Point: As for another moment I want to shout out: Everything to do with Naruto’s seal and chakra control. Sure, we’ve seen him as a screw up throughout much of the series, but when he is serious about training, he can honestly learn and grow very quickly. We’re also getting the first steps of controlling the Kyubei’s chakra, which will have major impacts to the latter part of the series.

David: Agreed with this set being straightforward. High point is Rock Lee’s everything, low point is Jiraiya’s poor introduction.

COUNTERS:

"I'm gonna be Hokage!" count: 2, 21 total

Bowls of ramen consumed: 26 bowls! 28 bowls, 3 cups total

Shadow Clones: 96, 216 total

And that's everything for this week! Remember that you're always welcome to join us for this rewatch, especially if you haven't watched the original Naruto!

Here's our upcoming schedule!

-Next week, on MARCH 15th, EPISODES 57-63 will be hosted by DANNI WILMOTH!

-Then, on MARCH 22nd, NICOLE MEJIAS will host EPISODES 64-70!

-On MARCH 29th, DANIEL DOCKERY will dive into some Hokage fights in EPISODES 71-77!

Have any thoughts on this week's episodes? Let us know in the comments! Or ask us some questions for next week's installment on episodes 57-63!

----

Carolyn Burke is a writer for Crunchyroll, Bunny Ears, and Cracked. Follow her on Twitter or Instagram.

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: [email protected]

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