Beyond our Habits

written by Bono Reyes

David Swartz describes the word “habitus” as derived from the Latin word “habere”. It means “to have” or “to hold”.  The reading by Swartz outlines Pier Bourdieu’s attempt to answer how human action is regulated. It talks about the fact that people from the same backgrounds will most likely have the same habits. Similarities in backgrounds could include factors such as the individual’s social class, religion, nationality and ethnicity.  I guess in a way, the habitus is what makes us unique, but also similar to others at the same time.  The reading gives the example that children raised in an artistic culture will most likely grow up with a taste and skill for art. From personal experience, I can say that the effect of growing up in a certain culture may end up having varying results, which can be shown in the growth of my family. More specifically, the growth of me and my 3 other siblings What would be my habitus? Well the culture I was raised in is one of performing arts. Speaking, acting, singing, and dancing – all are factors and talents that are present in the household and culture we live in. And just like the child in the example who would eventually grow up to appreciate art, I have grown up to appreciate these talents. My dad, an excellent speaker in his own right, raised me to be the same. He is also a good singer, as he volunteers to offer his voice in Church. All 4 of us, the Reyes children, have picked this up. As if it were a match made in heaven, besides being a very proactive dancer, my mom grew up in a culture that… well speaks A LOT. Have you ever heard Kapampangans argue about something? In the province of Pampanga, where my mother grew up, talking and talking about something until the sun sets is kind of their trademark. They talk loud, fast, and non-stop. That gave my mom a habitus to then pass on to us.  As the readings tackle, habitus does not produce behavior guided by self-conscious reflection. We do it sometimes without even knowing that we are. That therefore leads to my friends telling me that I talk too much, or that my voice is always too loud, even if I didn’t mean for that to happen. The Reyes house and culture is therefore one of noisy loudmouths, who, while also being good at articulating their words, never seem to run out of things to say. We speak our minds a lot over here. And like I explained earlier, their affinity for the performing arts was passed on to me. I have joined and won various speech competitions, and have an appreciation for theater and musicals, just like my parents. To tackle even further into the concept, I would like to talk about the reading’s use of the phrase “most likely”. I’ve already explained the cultural zone in which we grew up in, but not all of us were affected by it the same way. While all 4 Reyes children got the habit for speaking non- stop, some of us did not just stop there. Like I said, we are a family with the affinity for the performing arts. Singing, acting, dancing. It’s second nature to us. Well, except for the dancing portion…. Nobody seems to be keen on that, besides my mother. Anyway, the thing that our culture is also not keen on, is our athletic ability. No one in my household can be deemed a proper “athlete”. Not anymore though, because my brother, Zuri, has an affinity for sports and has become a very good table tennis player, who will play in the NCR and possibly the Palarong Pambansa next year. Me? Nope I didn’t like doing sports. I mean, I like WATCHING sports, but like my dad, sports aren’t my thing. I didn’t grow up with a taste or habit of doing sports. Not my brother though. He entered his own “Field”, or his own competitive arena of struggle over different kinds of capital. For that, I am proud of him for being a refreshing unique variable in our family, who has broken the normal habits that we usually exhibit. Habits are not only constituted by past experiences but also constitutive of ongoing practices. My brother continues his pursuit of athleticism, while I continue my pursuit of honing my performance talents. This is an amazing example of how “the self” can differentiate himself from the cultural norms that bind him. Oh, he still talks too much. Maybe more than the rest of us, but he has something else going for him beyond that, which is something he should be truly proud of.

References Swartz, David (2002). The Sociology of Habit: The Perspective of Pierre Bourdieu. The Occupational Therapy Journal of Research. 61-69

King of the Hill

written by Andrea Villa

I took this photo while on top of the Rockefeller Center, circa 2015.

Ever since I was a kid I had dreamt of going to this great city that to me, until 2015, was only pictures and descriptions from books, television, and social media. I was born and raised in Metro Manila, and the city life is something I love and enjoy. The tall buildings and bright lights of New York City – what I thought were similar to those of Manila – are what enticed me to visit the city. And so we did, and it started with the George Washigton Bridge. I could see the Manhattan skyline from the passenger seat, and Frank Sinatra’s “New York, New York” was practically ringing in my head. The skyscrapers towered above us, and immediately I noticed something: compared to Manila, everything in this city is bigger, brighter, and more amplified. There is something to be said about New York City. Though the traffic is just as bad as Manila’s, I never got bored sitting in the car. The streets are lined with a beautiful mix of old brick buildings and modern structures; each standing tall and proud. The same can be said of the native New Yorkers. On the sidewalks are tall men in their suits, all rushing to go to what I can only imagine is a very important business meeting. Kids are speeding past us on their skateboard and rollerblades; people are running to catch the green light; women darting through the streets in their high heels. My family wondered out loud how anyone could possibly want to live in this city, with everyone being so busy, focused, and most importantly, fast. Watching people go about their normal lives, I instantly knew that I wanted to live here. It went beyond my childhood dreams of seeing tall buildings, and instead, I was attracted to the culture of the city. This is what sparked an agency in me. McAdams says “to be an agent is to act with direction and purpose, to move forward into the future in pursuit of self-chosen and valued goals” (2017). Sure, New York City had been a dream since I was young, but now it turned into an actual goal, and one of my biggest ones, in fact. Among other goals, it is what motivates me to strive harder and to do my best in everything I do. I simply loved the culture the city brought. It’s competitive, but it’s inspiring. One could tell that the city was buzzing with creativity, and how refreshing it is to talk to people about ideas and not people. To add to that, to be able to live in this city is no joke. The price to rent an apartment is high, and the standards of work ethic that you have to meet are even higher. Thus, I am already preparing myself for this sort of lifestyle and I am changing (or improving) my values in order for me to fit into this culture. Values such as independence and diligence are what I need to survive in this fast-paced city. But, there is one more thing I need to learn to be able to call myself a fully motivated agent, and that is to have high self-esteem. Motivated agents “feel good about themselves to the extent they believe that they are making good progress in achieving their goals and advancing their most important values” (McAdams, 2017). I have yet to learn to truly have confidence in my own capabilities, but will strive to do so in order to achieve my goal. I know all the difficulties of living in the City that Never Sleeps, and all romanticizations aside, I definitely wouldn’t mind going through those adversities if that means I get to live in the Empire State.

---------------------------

We had some time on our last day before having to head back to New Jersey, and we couldn’t leave without taking a cruise through the Hudson River. And we did exactly that. We parked the car and boarded the boat that left the soonest, fully aware that we were running on such little time, but it is what made it all the more worthwhile. As the boat pulled away from the dock, one could bask in the full grandeur of the city. One photo that I managed to take was a panoramic shot from the middle of the Hudson River; one that includes the Statue of Liberty, Brooklyn, and Manhattan, all in one frame. We took all the photos we could, and the rest of the cruise was that of silence to take in the amazing adventure that was. Our bags were heavy, but our hearts were full. Bigger and brighter; smart and busy; charming and magical; such is New York City. Make it here and you will make it anywhere.

The Dance Never Stops

written by Jigs Vinluan

For those who do not know, I used to dance everyday back in high school. It was already part of my daily schedule to practice in the same studio until the sun was out. A pretty unusual way to spend high school because all the other kids would be home by 4pm but not me. Literally, I would stay in campus till 7:00pm a whooping 12 hours of work but that doesn’t include what I do at home. Once I get home, I need to master the routines or foundations for an hour at least then I get to studying. Thus, forms my role as the dancer of the class back in high school. This was a prominent role because I was seen as a leader in the arts and was deserving of some form of respect. I guess that was the role I built for myself when I entered the school. However, I was never the charismatic performer that I was or am as of today and with Dan McAdams’ reading entitled “Self and Identity”, I can show you the change of when “I” encounters “Me”

Dan McAdams’ reading, “Self and Identity,” shows us the basic idea of the reflexivity in human selfhood. This meaning that we seem to reflect on ourselves to see if there are necessary changes to be made. According to Charles Taylor, “we often try to manage, discipline, refine, improve, or develop the self.” We would do all these things to improve as a better person and I personally believe that through reflexivity, we can achieve such growth.

To allow a much simpler way to understand how each person would perform the reflective analysis, McAdams provided three possible categories where people can fall into when reflecting onto the self. 1. The Social Actor 2. The Motivated Agent 3. The Autobiographical Author.

Among these three categories. I believe that I fall under the Social Actor category whenever I would perform the reflexivity in my life. This is because of how I reacted to discussions and critiques about me and how I decided to play a role. Impressively enough, I learned this much earlier than my other batch mates given my early exposure to the phenomenon. Going back to my life in grade school, the 5-year-old Jigs never knew that he had consequences for his actions and so he was a very rowdy child. I used to always run around the classroom, make a ton of noise, and sometimes be very physical when playing games. This went on for most of the year until someone ended up crying because of my actions. From there I began to question my antics and decided to lay low for a while and be less rowdy. The teachers were impressed at my sudden change and even hailed me as one of the behaved ones. I guess it was that incident that caused me to change and this act appeared to be a correct move because of the feedback I got from this.

The thing about the Social Actor is that the people around me function as mirrors wherein how I perform in front of them also shows me if what I am doing is correct or not. Depending on their reaction, I can either adjust or maintain the act. My role was then consistent throughout my stay in grade school since being a much quieter person leads me in less trouble and more controlled fun with the not so popular kids in my class. As McAdams says, “When I do things that win the approval of others, I feel proud of myself. When I fail in the presence of others, I may feel embarrassment or shame. When I violate a social rule, I may experience guilt, which may motivate me to make amends.” Thus, justifying my actions during that time. However, I loved the attention but I really was a rowdy person from the start. So, I thought to myself, how can I be “makulit” while getting attention all while minimizing the trouble I would get into? That’s when it hit me, a talent makes a person stand out from everyone else which brings me to my nurturing of one of the talents I learned which was dance.

As usual, people did admire my talent for dance I was always chosen to make the dance for the class with no one questioning my actions when teaching them the steps–the would only ask me for clarification.

In the end, my personality adjusts to how people would react because they are like my mirrors in a dance studio–they show me what is wrong and what can be improved in my steps so that my performance next time will be worth the gold. That these people help me reflect if the basic steps work or something unique is better. Just as I would spend my “free time” in high school, it takes religious practice in a mirror first before a live audience unlike actors. I guess the correct term for how I deal with reflective analysis is not social actor but rather its

Social Dance

Reflecting on My Life

written by Sean Grajo

There was a point in my life when I started to ask myself what my role was, what I was intended to do and what I wanted to do. Till this day I still don’t have the answers to such questions and I have honestly stopped trying to give it any attention because I have better things to do daily than wonder off in my mind. As people, we can’t just help to want know the “what ifs” that we have in our minds. We are part of a system, attend school, work until we have enough money to start a family, then guide the future generation to do the same and maybe to surpass what we achieved but wouldn’t it be so much better if we really knew what we wanted and if we weren’t constricted to follow the system. As I started growing up, I started leaning on this system and now I give so much thought on it because failing in the system can have so much repercussion on our futures. My story has had its little bumps here and there and sometimes I still wonder what it would feel like to have the freedom to do whatever I want in life, to not be required to get a degree and to have the power to do anything without the power of money. Every little detail that I remember has developed me into the person I am today and has developed my self up until now. The first memories I had were of me in kindergarten, I was preparing my bags and myself for school and it was around eight in the morning. This is around the time that I realized that I had to do well in school and it wasn’t just a meeting place for friends to hang out. Of course I didn’t realize it then but as early as that stage, young kids like me were already being raised to be part of the educational system. The result of this is that my “self” developed to be attached to the system, it’s one of the purposes I have that has been ingrained to me. My family has also helped in the development of my “self”. The values and morals I have right now came from my family’s deep Christianity. When I was around grade seven, my brother was starting to fray from the family’s ideals and wishes so my parents gave me the responsibility of being the”panganay”. I didn’t really want to responsibility on my hands but I didn’t have the choice so I just did what my parents wanted me to. Looking back at it now, being the “panganay” of the house gave me so much tools that I can use for the rest of my life. I learned how to take care of the house all by myself, how to laundry clothes, and how to cook. Some people would say that I would already have the basic essentials to becoming independent but I never really put much thought into how I acquired these skills in the first place. Things have changed so much ever since I started college, the educational demands and stress that I receive is so much more compared to what I complained about before and I expect it to keep rising even after I graduate. One thing I learned so far is that even though we have so much tasks in front of us and everything might seem overwhelming, keeping positive can really help us get through anything. I gained so much new and valuable friends and relationships that the change that happened inside me was so apparent. If you were to talk to the me a few years ago and the me now, you would be so shocked with how much has changed. The way I see it, my “self” has developed so much because of the situations and relationships that were placed on me. Some situations can be negative and some positive but what really helped me throughout was the fruitful relationships I have. It’s just very funny to see how so much things can go on in life, we can get through a lot of sorrows and sadness only to appear that we’re still happy and satisfied with our lives.

Average

written by Kayla Atienza

Growing up, I would call myself an average person. I am of average height, weight and most importantly, average grades. Back then, grades did not really matter to me, causing me to never really think about my studies. As I got older, my grades started dropping below average. I think it started to show- the not caring, lack of initiative. My parents were disappointed, telling me to study harder. I was torn. I was doing the same things, but getting different results. Truthfully? I was not trying hard. In the past, I was able to get average grades without much effort, why start now? I went on several years with this same mindset. I never studied properly, listened attentively or recited frequently. It was a cycle I was in. Since I had become so accustomed to thinking I would get average scores with my past values, I did not bother. But, something did spark. Everyone started talking about college. And then it hit me, that I had no idea on what I wanted. The topic of college never came up with my family until a later part of my life, one wherein I was more aware of my situation. I remember the day I learned colleges looked at our high school grades, resumes and extra-curricular activities. I sat down, realizing that to get in a good college, I had to be one with an above-average attitude. This was what I call my epiphany moment, one that I think still defines who and how I am as a person today. McAdams says that when “There is a sense whereby any time you try to change yourself, you are assuming the role of a motivated agent.” (2017) A motivated agent is a type of self wherein we can see who we are through motivation towards our inner desires. The motivated agent is also evident when one tries to change themself, as stated above. McAdams adds that to establish an identity, one must involve the different explorations with respect to ones goals. This goal helps shape a person to become what they want to be in their adult life. The concept of a motivated agent is also that one shapes their identity around their goal, and what values they think can help them achieve this. In this situation, I am trading my laziness for initiative. Since I know that a big component of college acceptance lies on the grades, I knew I couldn’t continue being passive. I started studying more, getting extra help from friends, and working harder than I ever had. Another value I thought was important was being active which meant having after class activities. I tried out for the Glee Club and the Badminton Team. Luckily, I passed the Glee Club and started one of my most memorable journeys in high school. One other value I thought was essential was being present and fully attentive. Not just to exist, but to find a purpose on why I want to be able to achieve such things. I figured that I could do this by deciding my course in college- the stepping stone in my career. Because of that epiphany, I felt as though I made an entire 360 degree flip on my identity. I understood myself and the world differently. Currently, I would say I still have the same values I tried to maintain throughout my high school years.  I would say that this sudden change in attitude was me blessing myself because I was able to pass a college, my top choice even. Additionally, I think this is why I have retained a similar identity to the one from high school, if not a little bit more exaggerated. It is only occurring now that I have to study so much more, and in advance as well. I have never had to do this much work in my entire life, and I think the only way I am able to cope is because of my goals and how I think things should turn out for me. In a way, I am controlling how I act for the assurance of reaching my goal. Understanding the concept of a motivated agent and how it contributes to one’s identity, I can surely say that I have been using my goal to shape my identity. I think the instance I decided to have a more concrete goal in high school influenced how I started seeing myself. I started comparing myself to others and use what society seemed to be coining as ‘the right thing’. Either way, I do not have any regrets for my change in goal, and am very thankful for its occurrence in my life. I am much happier, and have never felt so thankful that I somehow snapped and realized that for me to reach my (new) goal, I had to change me. As of now, I still consider myself as average. But, much happier and content.

McAdams, D.P. (2017), Self and identity, in R. Biswas-Diener & E. Diener (Eds.). Noba textbook series: Psychology, Champaign, IL DEF publishers, DOI: nobaproject.com (http:www.nobaproject.com)

written by Bono Reyes

What did I think when I first heard that we were doing labor trials? Well I first thought of the word “Labor”. People see labor in different ways, and I saw it as physical work. Honestly, I had no problem with doing physical work in college. It would’ve been a great change of pace from the usual sit down, get bored pattern. This is why, I can say in all honesty that I was, in a way, excited for the labor trials I was going to have in Shopwise Commonwealth. Part of me wanted to show the world how much of a “local boy” I was. Meaning, I didn’t want to be seen by the world as a typical rich kid who has everything in life fed to them. I wanted to prove to the world, and myself, that I was just a regular Filipino. Who was I before the Labor trials? I believe that I come from a middle-class family. Not rich, but not poor either. All my basic necessities for living have all been taken care of by my parents, and I have never once in my life gotten worried if I would have a meal the next day. I’m perfectly content with the medium sized house that I live in. Nothing fancy, but it is a legitimate roof over my head, where I can sleep and rest. I was given an opportunity to study abroad for a month, and enjoyed the privileges of living in a first world country, for a short period of time. May parents would never ever let me get a big head in life, and made it being humble an integral part of my identity. They made sure that I knew how blessed I was in comparison to other people. This is why I know that the things I stated above are already way more than what my fellow Filipino’s can afford, or attain. That being said, the Labor trials didn’t remind me of how blessed I was, for I already knew that coming in. It instead gave me close to first-hand experience of how it is to work and earn with your own two hands. My biggest concern coming in however, was that the people who work there, and the customers, might treat me as an “Other”, or an outsider. I was afraid that just because I studied in Ateneo de Manila University, I would kind of viewed as something to take care of, and not a co-worker to them. I wanted to be treated like how a normal guy would be treated on his first day of the job. I wanted the managers to get angry at us if we messed up, and not let our faults slide just because we were just students. I wanted to feel what they felt, and do what they had to do, so I could have a better understanding of who they were. I always hated that feeling when, you play in the playground with other children, and you hear them struggle to speak English because they think that you can’t understand Filipino. Some kids would even make fun of you for it, and you would feel isolated, as if you weren’t one of them. To those kids, you were this fancy, rich child who didn’t understand them. I wanted to avoid this as much as possible. I wanted the workers to feel comfortable around me, and see me as one of them.

During the labor trials however, my goal was very hard to achieve. The people already knew that we were students from Ateneo, and so treated us accordingly.  I was however able to open up to the people I had to work with. From that, learned that just because the people working there came from relatively the same circumstances, it doesn’t mean that their concerns were just all the same. Like Alejo said in Loob, each person is a separate and unique world. Not just the workers, but the customer also treated us differently than they would a regular staff. This of course, made me sad, but I accepted that it was unavoidable, since we literally had the name of Ateneo written on our name tags. Alejo also brought up this beautiful quote “ Kaya ba ng katotohanan ng iyong katawan and pagbuo ng iyong loob?” and followed up by saying - Hindi maaaring sa isip lamang ang “ang mamatay nang dahil sa iyo.” This resonated with me a lot. I interpret is as saying “Can you walk the talk?”. I mentioned that I was excited to “do labor”. I was also there to prove that I could do the job excellently, and exceptionally through my hard work and charisma. I wasn’t going to be one of those workers who did poor work, and looked kind of grumpy and out of it in front of customers. I displayed this on my first day in customer service. I greeted customers with a smile, and made sure that I had energy and enthusiasm when speaking to them. I was convinced that I did a good job. However, on my second day working in customer service again, I was now bored. Bored of the repetition. I lost my energy and enthusiasm for the job, because what I was doing wasn’t a unique and exciting new experience anymore. It was something that I had already done. With this, I started to understand some of the workers in stores I’ve had problems with before. I’ve seen employees look dead and bored at the job, and forget to smile at customers. I realized that if I did the same exact thing every day of my life as a necessity to live, I would eventually get bored, grumpy, and complacent at the job. For all the things I said before coming into labor trials, it only took me ONE SESSION, to drop it. This really opened my eyes to the reality of work and “Labor”.

All in all, I really enjoyed my time in Shopwise Commonwealth. I was able to bond with the people I worked with, and had memorable moments to remember as I move on in life. I wanted to get applicable experience in the Labor Trials, and I got exactly that. Working in a place is not as easy as I once thought, and it is even worse for those people who have no choice but to work there to provide for their families. This was a good first step for me into really understanding my fellow people, who are less fortunate than I am. They deserve better, and I will work towards making sure that people like them can also thrive.

REFERENCES Alejo, Albert. In Press. Ang Loob ng Tao. Social Transformations: Journal of the Global South

written by Bono Reyes

“The self is both the storyteller and the stories that are told.” That is a quote from the reading that really impacted me. From it, I learned that it wasn’t just me who saw my life as a story, and that there is in fact an entire study about it. My life is indeed a story to me, and that story is my identity, or at least how I see myself. Who’s the protagonist of this tale? That’s me of course. Each and every one of us is the protagonist in our own stories, since the stories we tell, see, and hear are all from our point of view.  I’m always going to be the main character in the stories I tell myself, and the stories I tell other people. As of right now, I have no idea how my story will end. I have projections and dreams about how I want it to finish, but we never really know what will happen in the future. When did my story begin? Well I could argue that it began the moment I was born, but my identity was not formed yet at the time.  “Consciousness begins when brains acquire the power, the simple power, I must add, of telling a story”- Antonio Damasio (1999). We usually acquire the power to physically tell a story when we learn to speak, and is later developed in our adolescent and young adult lives.  So, if a person were to write a story about my life, they may start it from even before I was born, BUT my story as an identity only began when my mind was developed enough to create, tell, and remember stories. At a certain age in my life, grade school to be more specific, I started seeing my life in chapters. Sometimes, divided per year, or maybe every time a significant event happens in my life. I’m not the only one who does this too. People always tell their stories in a certain format. “When I was in grade school” or “Before I was married”. According to McAdams, our stories are always segmented in a way in which we can tell the setting, character, scene, and plot. That is very consistent with the way I view my timeline in which my story is formed. I mentioned earlier that I saw myself as the protagonist of my story, or the main character in my identity, but that does mean I’m the “Protagonist of the world”. Thinking yourself as the protagonist is apparently a normal occurrence, and not a sign of too much pride. It is just that when we remember or tell stories, we position ourselves as the protagonist in relation to the other characters of the story, since the story is being told from your perspective after all. This means that I don’t see myself as above the other characters I have integrated in my stories, but since I don’t know them as well as I know myself, I end up being the main focus of the tales in my head. How will my story progress? According to McAdams, the way I remember and tell my stories will change overtime, since autobiographical memories are unstable. My stories will change overtime, and so will my identity. I’m actually okay with that. The beautiful thing about our personal stories is that it keeps evolving, changing and growing, and with it, our identities do as well. The way I share my stories now will be different from the way I tell it to my kids, for example. That’s because first of all, I won’t remember things the same way as I age, and second, the way I view a story or event will change because of the changes in my perspective that I gain over the years. Right now, I could view college as one of the worst years in my life, but when I grow older, I will remember it as the place where I found a home, and a place to hone my talents. All of this will come a form a new and evolved identity based on these stories.

How will my story end? Really, who knows. The only thing I know is that it’s not over, and it will continue for the rest of my life. I’ll gain new stories every year, every month, and every day. With each new story that I add to the tale that is my life, I grow as a person. I have certain goals I want to achieve before my story ends, and while I go about it, I want to affect and integrate as many people as I can. Everyone is the protagonist of their stories and identities, and while some stories are better than others, I will always cherish mine.

     References McAdams, D. P. (2008). Personal narratives and the life story. In John, Robins, and Pervin (Eds.), Handbook of personality: Theory and research (Ch. 8 pp. 242-262). New York: The Guilford Press

written by Bono Reyes

We’ve discussed what helped made me, but in relation to the reading about Identity Agents, I can now specifically tackle WHO helped make me. Schachter talks about the big impact of parents in the formation of a child’s identity, and I can whole heartedly say that my parents had a big impact on mine. They are my main Identity agents. Schachter’s book defines Identity agents as “individuals who actively interact with youth in order to participate in their formation of an identity”. In normal households, who else but your parents will actively interact with you to help form your identity? My parents are part of me, and I’d like to believe that I’ve also left a small part of myself on them. Just like with any regular family, I grew up with 2 parents, a Mom and a Dad. Cherry Diane B. Reyes, and Alan C. Reyes. Two very different people, yet very similar at the same time. I don’t have enough space to tell you about how they met, and the rest of their love story, since you already know that leads to them getting married, and having me, their first child. Although I know that I am more than just both of them combined. The way I act, speak, complain, eat, sleep, study, are all mostly based on things I learned or observed from them. Not only that, but my values and morals are things they either taught me directly, or something I learned by example. Admittedly, a lot of my negative characteristics may have also come from them, but there is no way they will let me say that out loud. Let’s first delve into my primary maternal Identity Agent, my dear mother. My mom could be described as loud, naggy, confusing, and complain about anything. She can turn anything into an argument because of her extravagant personality and humor. But underneath all the never-ending sermons and complaints (it really does never end), is a heart that cares deeply for others. She not only cares for her immediate family, but she has occasionally shown great compassion for people she barely knows. She has made great effort to instill that great compassion unto me, and I believe it worked for the most part. She intentionally talked to me about kindness, and how you get more from honey than from vinegar when we were young, and taught me the value of sharing. Unfortunately, she also passed on, though unintentionally, the loud, naggy, complainer that she is to me. Yes, I am loud. I nag and complain about the simplest of things…. A little too much. This is probably why me and my mother clash so much at home. Her strong personality and the strong personality that she gave me were destined to clash. As my dad would sometimes note, hearing our arguments is like having to listen to my mother argue with herself. My next main Identity Agent, my dad, is a whole lot calmer than my mom. From him I learned the essence of being calm and relaxed. He made it a point to personally teach me my responsibilities as a man, and as human being. When the never-ending battle between my mom… well, never ends, he will be the one to settle everything with one word. My moral compass is mainly taken from my dad’s. He was the main person to teach me and my siblings the difference between right and wrong. In most cases, he would have to teach us these morals by being the executioner of physical discipline. If my mother is always angry in a flurry of unpredictable and never ending moments, my dad is the guy who gets angry once, but is explodes when he does. He rarely raises his voice, and never as much as mom does, but when he does, the whole house listens, everybody is on edge, and everybody is intimidated. You’re probably thinking that a combination of my mother’s never ending spurts of anger and nags, plus my dad’s explosiveness when he’s mad would be a very bad mixture. It is. It is something I have taken from both of them, and for some reason combined it into a more potent, loud, and intense way of getting angry. I’m always mad and complaining about something, then when I really get angry, I get really intense. My conclusion for this is that Identity Agents have the capacity to affect adolescents and Children however they want. But, they must also consider that the child has the capacity to learn the parts of them that they don’t want to teach. Yes, I gained all the goodness they wanted to entrust to me as part of my identity, but along with it came their attitudes and quirks. I’m sure my parents didn’t mean for me to inherit that side of themselves, and I won’t mean to pass this on to my children as well. It is however a herculean task to be the perfect and proper example for a child 100% of the time.

REFERENCES Schacter, E., & Ventura, J. (2008). Identity agents: Parents as active and reflective participants in their children’s identity formation. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 18(3), 449-476.

Intertwined

written by Andrea Villa

It has been over a month since my last JEEP Saturday at Shopwise. It has still been one of the more memorable experiences of the semester, with me not expecting to have to do this until my junior year. But grocery, four Saturdays, four hours, blockmates? It couldn’t have been that difficult. I mean, I go to the grocery all the time, right? Apparently, wrong. I wasn’t informed on how much out off my comfort zone I would be thrown out off, and this experience definitely caught me off guard. From angry customers, to leaking eco bags, to boxes and boxes of ensaymada; JEEP was a different ride every Saturday. Yet, it was one I was grateful for. It was one that enriches the self.

Alejo has a unique concept of self. He talks about how one must not only look at the self from the outside looking in, but from your own inside towards the outside world. He also says that the self is a world of relationships. Alejo uses the analogy of islands; how from the surface, they may look distant and separate, yet once you delve in, these islands are interconnected on a much deeper level. They overlap much like how our own stories intertwine with those around us. These people have their own worlds, as well. It may be our family, friends, education, and even different institutions. These are mediated through our words, or anything that we may do in our everyday lives. This then makes the worlds meaningful.

Alejo adds on that that the self and the body are one: “ang pagbuo ng loob ay isang pangangatawan” (1990). The physical self carries along with it possibilities, dama, and kaya, which are all necessary requirements of the self. To change one of these affects all the other world that a self is connected to. (Note: Please excuse my sporadic use of Filipino words throughout the journal entry. Taglish, if you may. There are simply some words that carry with it more depth in the native language that cannot be directly translated into English, having to take into account its cultural context.)

There are several other requirements of the self as discussed in class, with the first two being pakiki-ugnay and pakikisangkot, defined in class as “relationships” and “engagement”. Throughout my visits, I was able to talk to a variety of people in the different stations I was placed. On the first Saturday, my blockmate Tiffany and I were in the meat section. We watched in amazement as the employees would punch in series of numbers with ease, while we struggled to go through their list of inventory to look for the code. We learned from them that it took several years to learn it like the back of their hand. Some of them even looked young, meaning they had to start working at a young age, probably to sustain their family.

On a different weekend, Tiffany and I were at the bakery, where we tried to talk to the Ate stationed there, though she was a quiet one. Yet, we were still able to learn about how the bakery works, how leche flan is made, and how long the shelf life is of the ensaymadas we made (five days!). It is through these little engagements and small talks that we were able to slowly intertwine our worlds with the employees’ throughout our short stay at Shopwise.

Abot-dama would be another requirement of the self, defined as “experience”. But to experience, given our cultural context, is much deeper than to do just that, because we can never truly grasp the experiences of others. To quote Alejo, “hindi ko sakop ang mga damdamin ng iba – abot ko lang, hindi ko sakop. Katunayan, kahit anong gawin kong pakikiisang-loob sa iba, hinding hindi ko ito maaangkin. Abot ko lamang; may pagkalapit ang aking pagdama at pagmalay” (1990). During our shift at the package counter, Tiffany and I learned that Shopwise does not accept employees that reach a certain mid-30s age. The reason as to why, we do not know, but the lady who told us this said it with the slightest bit of disappointment. We cannot fully experience this woman’s own experience, yet we can attempt to understand her, and this dimension of empathy is important to the self. It further adds to the complexity of our interconnectedness, and thus gives it more meaning.

One more value is that of abot-tagal, or “resilience”. From the first to the last Saturday, we could see the resilience and strength of the employees at Shopwise. We ourselves were having a hard time waking up early on a Saturday morning when we could easily sleep in, so we could only imagine what these Shopwise employees have to go through to make a living. To add to their job, they were kind and patient enough to teach us the ropes of each station of the grocery. I truly had newfound respect for these blue-collar workers who would go beyond for us students that they did not know.  Hindi lamang nila inaabot hanggang dulo, subalit ginagawa nila ang mas higit pa rito.

I would like to end with one more quote from Alejo. He says, “maihahalintulad ko ito sa pagkalula mula sa pag-ahon sa bapor. Wala na ang bapor at ang maalong dagat, subalit hanggang ngayon ay tila idinuduyan pa rin ako ng aking mga nasaksihan at napagdaanan” (1990). It may have been over a month since my last JEEP Saturday, but I am constantly being rocked by my experiences from these three weekends. These are now a part of who I am; part of my ever-expanding connections of worlds and stories intertwined. It has given me a broader perspective on a community that I have overlooked yet has been close to me since I was young. It has shaped me, and will continue to shape me as long as I keep these memories alive. As pointed out by Kahneman in Life as a Story, our memories help in designing our future stories. Perhaps some time in the future I will be able to find solutions for these people’s problems, but for now there is only abot. May we all learn to understand, connect, and grow from this experience.

That’s So High School

written by Andrea Villa

Maarte. Squatter. Walwal. Torpe. Inglesera. Awkward. Choosy. Mataray.

During the intersession semester, a few blockmates and I took up our PSY101 class, where we learned about schemas. Schemas are mental generalization about objects, places, events, and people. As our final project, we chose to make a video about college students guessing each other’s high schools, with their guesses based solely off of the answers their fellow participants gave when we asked questions. One such question we asked was, “What is one adjective people usually use to describe people from your high school?” The answers they gave are the words mentioned above. Surprisingly, none of us even batted an eye when we heard these terms. I knew of these words but I was unaware that it was “universal”, for lack of a better word. We were all used to it. These were words that were constantly thrown around to describe the different private schools we were from, and none of these were new.

These so-called “stereotypes” may be due to our habitus, defined by Pierre Bordieu as something that “consists of deeply internalized dispositions, schemas, and forms of know-how and competence, both mental and corporeal, first acquired by the individual through early childhood socialization” (2002). Our ways of thinking have been ingrained in us since we were children, and continue to shape us until now.

Habitus also comes from the opportunities and constraints that are common to members of a community. Personally, coming from Saint Pedro Poveda College in Ortigas, we were always known to be maarte and accented, and were generally bad at speaking Filipino. These, of course, were not always true. Perhaps most of us have come to be this certain way due to the circumstances we were given by the school and by our social status. Many, if not most, of the students in the school were from the upper class, and lived in wealthy communities and owned luxurius items. This may have been one of the driving forces of the generalization. Another explanation to this may be that since we are one community, the shared disposition is more widespread within our population. This makes it easier for others outside of the community to form generalizations and pre-conceived notions about our high school.

But, to be enclosed in this certain schema can be daunting, as well. The habitus built around us can sometimes make us feel trapped to the stereotype we were given. “Oh, she’s from Poveda, maarte yan,” or “Di yan magaling mag-Filipino,” aren’t new to us. Once these have been ingrained in the minds of others, they already have a negative perception of people from Poveda before they may have even met anyone from my high school. (I say negative based on personal opinion, but if one were to see this as positive, then so be it.)

However, we did not learn these through obedience or influence. In fact, we learned most of these through observing patterns in our society. The actions have long been embedded in the community and it has been passed down through the years. The way that we are able to sustain a certain disposition for years is due to how the actions are regulated in the population, and goes back to idea that it is based on the opportunities and constraints presented to us.  

Overall, a community’s habitus is defined by the shared disposition its people have, and specifically, the habitus of high schools seem to bring with it a negative connotation. There may be times where a generalization may spark conversations, but it still continues to affect the way people think about others.  For ourselves, we must remember that we are more than our stereotypes. These should not limit our capabilities and hinder us from grabbing opportunities. For others, it is important to not be quick to form judgments. We may immediately think of an adjective once we hear about a high school, but we must also learn to look past these and aim to understand beyond the cultural norms.  

Choices

written by Kayla Atienza

For this semester’s NSTP, I was shocked that instead of regular NSTP, we had labor trials or JEEP. My labor trials experience took place in Shopwise Commonwealth, wherein I became 3 things, a baker, a customer service worker and a bagger. All those instances entailed different experiences, each unique based on what I did and the location I did it. Location was important because it determined customer interaction and workplace interaction. For this journal entry, I will be reliving my experiences with the three different people whom I learned and worked with throughout my JEEP experience. No real names will be used.

I. Bakery The bakery was my first job throughout the entire experience. Understandably, I was scared because it was one, my first time to make bread and two, this was my first job ever. I was paired with Sean, my blockmate, who turned out to be really good at the job. As we stepped inside the bakery, the staff immediately welcomed us. From Kuya A, the head baker who constantly asked us about computer tips and Kuya R who toured me around the bakery, Kuya X was the one who left me thinking until the end. He was only twenty and already working at the bakery. This job was going to be permanent, as his colleagues were teasing him about his ‘palibre’. He said something that made me reflect on my situation, and this was that he wanted to continue studying, but couldn’t. I did not want to ask why, because i was shy. But, I assume it was because he had to work to support for his family instead.  It is common to hear stories like this, but this was one of first times I met somebody who was almost the same age as me, not be able to study. Personally, I think that education is very important, something everyone must value. I think this is why meeting him affected me in some way, because I was not aware of the realities being authentically real with people we deal with everyday. Kuya X made me aware of these realities because I saw it with my own eyes. Nevertheless, he was still incredibly happy, light-hearted and an optimistic person.

II. Customer Service Ate M was very nice, and prepared. She knew how to handle both me and my partner Jianine. For the customer service or CS, we had a relatively simple job, as we were not allowed to do any computer related tasks. We wrote raffle ticket stubs and made invoice receipts. Asides from that, we spoke into the PA system. While waiting for customers, Ate M would talk to us about our lives and vice versa. She was asking simple things, like our school, family and friends. When I explained to her how nervous I was in speaking in Tagalog for the PA, she said it was so obvious we came from Ateneo because we all speak Tagalog a certain way and tone. Ate M made the workplace less nerve wracking. She was very approachable, and made me feel welcomed to work with her. One thing i learned from Ate M was how patient she was with her job, especially with many customers asking similar questions and cashiers asking for managers. It seemed very cyclical in a mentally draining way.

III. Baggage The baggage counter was different from the previous tasks I had done. This was because they threw us in the counters, and told us to bag. I wasn’t sure about the arrangements of bagging, but I went with it. I never got to know the cashier’s name, as he was frantically running from cashier to CS for managers. So, my experience from bagging mostly came from the customers who saw me. Jianine, my partner for the week, and I got several comments about how we don’t fit in the supermarket, and how we were obviously there on immersion. One customer even said “Di kayo bagay dito. Ateneo? Dapat sa Manila Peninsula kayo nag-immersion.” These people don’t mean any harm, as this could just be their habitus. But I think one thing I learned was how people from the outside can perceive me just by my school and appearance. The habitus of some customers became evident in this situation. Pierre Bourdieu’s concept of habitus states the way group culture and personal history shape oneself. Some customers may think that I fit their expected habitus of what it means to be Atenean. Asides from that, they already have their own implications about being Atenean- hence stating that we did not fit in. However they thing Ateneans are, I fit right in to their habitus.

Alejo says that on the surface of the water, islands seem to be separated, but underwater, they are all connected. My Shopwise Commonwealth experience helped me understand this. By immersing myself with different people with different backgrounds from me, I am able to understand not only them but also myself. As obnoxious as it sounds, I understand that in the future, I am one that has the power to make a difference. This proves to be true along with the habitus of those who see me. But, to learn more about the world and its people, we must go out of our comfort zones to have true and meaningful communication with people. While having these conversations, we must listen intently to people’s stories, truths and lives. As we are interconnected like islands, we must be dependent on each other. I understand that the purpose of having immersive exposures like JEEP are supposed to help us understand other people’s situations, but I also realized that in a way, the people to whom we are reaching out to are the ones teaching us the more valuable lessons in life. They are letting us become more aware of the ‘realities’ of the world, and in a way, letting us use this information in whatever way we may desire. Because of the social structure, some people are privileged with having a voice. This voice is a powerful tool that can help others. With this voice, one can take another’s truth, and use it to help others.  It is our choice as to what we can do with this information.

After going through labor trials, I understand how we are all connected. We are all connected like islands- because we are all people. In Shopwise, workers have mechanical jobs, close to robots. Everyday, the same task, same people. We have to realize that behind the counter, there are real people as well. Being put into their shoes, I felt the same way. Seeing how other customers treated them was saddening. But we must always remember that we are all equal, and no one is better than the other. As people of the world, we all have our own duties to do good by it and its people. If we are able to reach out to one person and help make the world better for them, we should. Regardless of our social status, we must all be able to realize that we are all people for other people, and that we are all interconnected with each other.

Alejo, A. (1990).  In Press. Ang Loob ng Tao. Social Transformations: Journal of the Global South.

Swartz, D. (2002). The Sociology of Habit: The Perspective of Pierre Bourdieu. The Occupational Therapy Journal of Research. 61-69

Charot

by Jigs Vinluan

The reading entitled The Sociology of Habit by David Swartz talks about the term habitus which according to the reading, means “to have” or “to hold.” This is further explained through Bourdieu’s take on the concept of habitus where this is a theory of action and addresses how human action is regulated, and how it follows patterns without being a product of obedience or influence. I see this when I’m with my friends and with family because I’ve always been with them therefore I should be able to inherit the way these people interact with others and how they interact with problems. That its in this inheritance that brings us closer as friends or as relatives for we begin to bond in unified mindsets all while being diverse with our own cultures because of the similarities in our cultures. Some of these habitus that I have inherited was all grounded on the foundation of my identity which would be my parents as they are the first few people I get to know before entering a school. For my dad, I inherited his speech patterns when speaking Tagalog as he would speak it in a fast but commanding tone. I have also inherited my mom’s mannerism of replying short questions with a grunt to signify my answer I also inherited my grandmother’s fondness of music as well as the layers in a song. She taught me how to listen to a song’s parts such as beats and bass the movement of tempos sparked my interests into the music as well. I know that I personally have inherited some form of habitus from my parents yet I would like to focus more now on the people who taught me how to socialize without my parents giving me a watchful eye and thats my friends. Relating back to my past post about my stay in A-Team, I noticed that the team has a form of their own comedy. That relating to them was a real struggle as it is extremely different from my form of humor. There in the team, they would speak like those celebrities on Filipino TV and I guess you need to understand where these words would be coming from to connect with A-Team. Saying things such as chz or Charot stayed with me and taught me what I should do to adapt to the standards of the team. After carefully listening, I began to say things I would’ve never said before yet it seemed natural to me. Things like the ones I have mentioned before and even more. I inherited their manners of speech yet it wasn’t complete. Another component of A-Team’s habitus includes being slightly effeminate since most of the TV personal are quite effeminate. Therefore, combining effeminate mannerisms and being playfully kind during practice made me learn how to socialize with my fellow teammates. This knowledge allowed me to connect to more people who have similar tastes as my teammates and made me a more sociable person. Another habitus that I have inherited was my older brother Jao. Back then, I used to look up to Jao as the coolest brother we had because he was so talented in swimming, dancing, and he had many friends back in grade school. Whenever I would walk around the grade school campus, people would come up to me and ask me where Jao is and I would just say I didn’t know because I don’t keep tabs on him. Nonetheless, I admired him for being popular and I began to emulate his mannerisms. One of the mannerisms I inherited from my brother would be his social skills because in the past my brother would always go out with his friends even if its just within the village and they would play in the park. They would play all sorts of games or even just sit around the park benches and just talk and spend time together. This taught me the value of spending time with friends because now, he and his friends are closer than ever. They may not always be around to play in the park, but they are always updated with each other’s lives and for me thats a bond I want to build as well. My brother was also talented in everything he did. He was the reason why I started focusing on swimming or dancing or playing video games. This was because he was one of the fastest swimmers in the team so everyone knew how fast he was and idolized him. He was also a prodigy dancer since he was chosen to perform with some of the best dancers in the country on a huge stage which made him even more famous in school and with girls. I, on the other hand, was not too talented or not entirely noticed because Im known for being his brother but I wanted to be like him. So I worked as hard as he would whenever we would practice, I would listen to more songs like he would whenever we’re at home and I would work out at night just as he would. Thanks to him, I learned the importance of handwork since my brother may be talented, but he is also determined to reach an excellent standard. Looking at where I am today, I can say that I have accomplished feats of my own. I have achieved my dreams of having many friends, being respected among peers, and showing results worth admiration and pride. However, I could never have done this if I had never inherited all of these habitus.

by Jigs Vinluan

Elli Schacter talks about the role models in our lives and how these people can become our “Identity Agents” or those who actively interact with children and youth with the intention of participating in their identity formation in her reading: Identity Agents: Parents as Active and Reflective Participants in Their Children’s Identity Formation. This reading includes samples of different cultures that influence our own upbringing which will be where I will relate my experiences as well.

To start off, Schrater talks about Jewish unorthodox parents as a sample of potential identity agents with their own methods on teaching and growing a child. In relation to this, my parents were not explicit but followed a certain culture to influence my proper upbringing. This included enrolling me in multiple classes to learn many skills as well as the Filipino/Spanish  traditions that I should remember by heart. Both of my parents believed that having many skills makes me a better person with more potential than others since their childhood was linear in terms of having skills because they came from a poor lifestyle. Their parents wouldn’t let them enroll in dance or music or arts classes because they didn’t have the money to do so. Therefore my parents learned these skills with unwavering determination to obtain potential. That form of nurturing a child was then passed unto me and my brothers as we had to practice everyday on music, dance, sports, and the arts similarly to how my grandparents did to my parents. Although obtaining skills wasn’t the only thing my parents instilled unto me for they also wanted to form a respectful, religious, righteous boy as well. Therefore, my parents taught me proper etiquette when meeting relatives, when in the table, when with a woman, or even when just going out with friends. Some of these lessons include waiting a few moments after everyone’s done eating before leaving the table or having to say po and opo while respectfully shaking the hand or making “pamano.” I even had to memorize all of the prayers, methods of performance, and mysteries said during a Rosary as we would pray the Rosary once a month within the period of a week. With evidences seen through the eyes of my cousins, I can infer that Spanish/Filipino parents instill a code that we, the youth, all have to follow a specific standard of conduct as well which differs us from other cultures as respect is upheld the most in the entire family.

See preservation of culture is what makes the identity so fond in this world because most of our identities that stem from these preserved cultures shape what is morally correct and just for society. Just by looking into the Jewish unorthodox parenting can you see the importance of this preservation because according to the reading, these Jewish parents value the preservation of their identity and their continued priority of creating a strong cultural commitment to continuity as a value in and of itself. On the other hand, it was extremely difficult to embrace the arts and forcing myself to enjoy it for the sake of my parents and so made me discouraged to move on. To remedy this discouragement, my parents were willing to compromise with me. They were willing to also allow me to pursue any art without them pressuring me to constantly practice everyday. They also allowed me to discontinue any art that I do not feel I can truly be alive as long as I can replace it with something I enjoy which ended in me finding my interest in photography. Its this compromise that taught me that there are cultures and rules to follow but I am a new generation and sometimes some old things cannot apply to me. Even so I am proud of my culture because of the culture it was formed from and my parent’s contribution to its fruition. I would like to believe that my parents were successful in their job as this culture that they formed and nurtured has helped me in many occasions and has made me into where I am today. I believe cultures too can change but its the core lessons that these cultures that ground us to what is true and right. It is just constantly evolving as well.

Sport and Habitus

written by Sean Grajo

Pierre Bourdieu’s concept of habitus is focused on how human action is being regulated. It answers the question of how actions a regulated without the need for obedience to an external source. Habitus is formed socially by looking at common practices in people with different or similar backgrounds, ethnicities, countries, and more. Although habitus is formed socially it does not mean we are required to follow the habitus, we can instead develop our own habitus by deferring from the norm. habitus consists of the physical and mental tendencies that each individual would have with respect to the society Habitus is an unconscious process, we don’t really know it’s happening and we don’t really think about it. There are two other concepts that help us determine and understand the habitus. These concepts are Capital and Field. Capital refers to the individuals resources and Field refers to where the individual can practice the habitus. When a habitus is being made and performed by an individual two things are being taken into thought, whether the individual has the resources sufficient enough for the habitus and whether the individual is able to perform the habitus in the given field. In the movie “Billy Elliot” Billy was only able to alter his habitus to ballet because he was given the opportunity to practice by his teacher and the support that he needed from his father. Although Billy was going against the normal habitus of boys not doing ballet he had the resources and the support to develop his new habitus. The social habitus can also be seen throughout the movie, men were taught to act tough, cursing was socially accepted even though in different places and countries it wouldn’t have been accepted and there were designated sports for both men and women. The habitus of sport in the Philippines is very different from the habitus shown in the movie. Not all have the resources to practice the habitus of their sport and not all sports are supported in an individual’s respective felid. But I think that even though not all the resources are met for the sport, the people of the Philippines continue to develop their habitus of sport. In the example of basketball, the things you would normally require are a basketball court and a ball but majority of the people don’t have the luxury to play in basketball courts. So how does basketball still prevail as a sport and a culture in the Philippines? Whenever I would go to province or place without basketball courts I would still see at least one group of people playing but without a proper court what would they use? Instead of using basketball courts, I would often see those people nailing pieces of wood to a try then attaching a circle coil to the wood to imitate what would look like to be a hoop. Sometimes they would bring it out to the roads and sidewalks and use that as their courts. Another sport that has made strides for the Philippines is boxing. Now the habitus of boxing is that it’s one of the most hopeful ways to escape poverty as shown in the case of Manny Pacquiao. I mean all you would need to practice boxing would be your hands and something to land these punches on. But even though the resources for boxing isn’t very demanding, not all parents are supportive of boxers due to the time it takes up and the physical and mental stress that goes with the sport. The most notable thing about sport in the Philippines is the culture that comes along with it. Even though some of us don’t have the resources to practice what we want or the support and approval we need. The natural creative thinking of Filipinos is what allows the habitus of sport to keep flourishing I would remember a time back in gradeschool when almost everyone in the school would love to play football. But we didn’t have a ball or a field to practice what we love, so what we did was take bottles and play in places with two poles to imitate the fields. Of course we got in trouble for it and at times we had to run away from the guards but we kept on doing it anyways. Sooner or later other people started to conform to our ideas and now everyone was kicking water bottles around the campus. Eventually it was realized that the school couldn’t stop it so instead they just gave designated areas where we could practice our habitus. In-short when we developed our own habitus, it started to align with the interests of others and sooner or later people were starting to conform to what we would be doing. And change came form that conformity. People in the Philippines would usually conform to ideas in sport and it would change the way we think and do things. Habitus may not be understood by all or may not be focused on by many. But its social implications and practices can be perfectly seen to the people who know of it. Maybe in the future, the implications of habitus can develop the culture of sport in the Philippines and even develop the way Filipino people would live their lives.

Prim and Proper

written by Kayla Atienza

Every year, my high school holds an annual fair which hosts a talent competition. When I was four, my cousins and I joined the competition. Before we could perform, we had our costumes made. I remember very clearly being given a purple costume. I freaked out, insisting that I wanted the pink one- the one that belonged to my cousin. I threw a tantrum, crying over the pink costume. My mom was furious, scolding me while my cousin’s mom insisted that I could have the pink costume. In the end, my mom forced me to stick to the purple one. Looking back, I think that this was one of the moments that exemplified my personality, one that people would call being “girly”. Ever since I could remember, pink has been my favorite color. I loved princesses, Bratz and makeup. Ever since then, my relatives and family started pegging me as a ‘girly’ girl.

As I got older, people’s perception of me being girly never changed. My favorite color stayed pink. I loved makeup, dressing up and doing my hair. For some reason, me being ‘girly’ made me more of a woman, more feminine, which was an attribute that all girls must have. Countless of times, I have had my aunts telling me to fix their daughters’ hair, or to teach them how to do their makeup. At weddings, I would have aunts come up to me and ask if I did my own makeup, praise me, and mention, “I wish my daughter knew how to do that”.  Asides from that, I have heard other aunts telling my mom she was so lucky that her daughter knew how to groom and present herself well. I even recall a moment when my aunt told me that if I were successful in teaching her daughter how to braid her hair, she would give me something in return.

I was never forced me into any of these conditions of being a ‘girly’ girl. Genuinely, I enjoyed fixing my hair and painting my nails by myself for fun. There have been numerous times wherein I would try to teach myself certain skills. In the eyes of other people, I fit the descriptions of their habitus, one which exemplifies what a ‘girl should be’. Pierre Bourdieu’s concept of habitus is the way society becomes deposited in persons in the form of lasting dispositions, or trained capacities and structured propensities to think, feel and act in determinant ways, which then guide them (The Sociology of habit: The Perspective of Pierre Bourdieu by Swartz 2002). The habitus of a lot of more traditional women is that they had to be a certain way, one that determined their being feminine. This habitus is most especially present in the Chinese culture, the culture I was brought up in.

Being raised in a pure Chinese household, there have been many implications and expectations embedded in me. I was taught that a woman had to be a specific way because they had to become good housewives. This is where the habitus can be observed again. Habitus represents the way group culture and personal history shape one’s self. Since many women, like my aunts, were raised to believe in this, they would have deep unconscious thoughts that they had to be a certain way. A lot of them, like my mother, grew up thinking that there was a necessity to be ‘girly’. The idea of being ‘girly’ was linked to becoming a good housewife for others. Sometimes, I think of my friends with incredibly ‘girly’ moms and how their moms sometimes forced certain things upon them. I had a grade school classmate who I could say was quite tomboyish. Until now, our common friends would let me know that her mom would still buy her clothes in the hopes that she would start dressing up more. Because of her mom’s habitus, which was the conception of what a girl must be, her expectations were being forced upon her as well. When I think about this, I feel bad because being forced to be someone you are not is not right. Asides from the concept of habitus, this perception of being a girl could have come from the lack of awareness and global diversity. In Connel’s Rethinking Gender from the South, they state that most research on gender studies was only done in Northern places, therefore hindering the awareness on global diversity in more Southern countries. Because there is less awareness in Southern areas, like Asia, the expectation of women would be set, and the definitions of what they had to do to be essentially accepted were set. These expectations were set with the connotation that women were the less important gender, therefore, they were expected to work for their place in the society.

Thinking about all of these factors, it’s hard to dismiss the fact that women are still expected to be a certain way. This difficulty is magnified by the fact of the habitus. Despite these conditions, we can still be optimistic. Connel states in their piece that a lot more awareness in terms of gender studies in the South. Hopefully, this brings about more global diversity. Asides from this, times are definitely changing. More women are becoming rebellious towards the habitus they are forced to comply with. Being aware that one is within a habitus can be observed when one only realizes they are suffering when they see someone suffering the same way they are. 

Swartz, D. (2002). The Sociology of Habit: The Perspective of Pierre Bourdieu. The Occupational Therapy Journal of Research. 61-69

Connell, R. (2014). Rethinking gender from the South. Feminist Studies, 40 (3): 518-539.

My Voice

written by Kayla Atienza

Recently, I realized how dependent I am of my parents, most especially my mom. In basic situations, like going to the doctor or the mall, I still heavily depended on my mom. This realization came to me when I went to a salon to have my hair dyed. I had shown the stylist what I wanted, and I did not really check to see if he was doing the right thing. All he said was “Okay, alam ko na ang gusto mo!” (Okay, I know what you want!) This was not the first time I had my hair dyed by the person, so I trusted him. The end result of my hair? Not what I was expecting. I didn’t like it at all, found that he did not match the color to the photo I had previously showed him. Luckily, he told me he would fix it free of charge the next day. The following day comes and I’m determined to get my hair set straight. When I get there, my mom tells me “Don’t worry, I’ll tell him what you want. I’ll fix it.” Noting what she said, I sat back and relaxed, knowing that I was going to be in good hands (because my mom was there). The final result of my hair was much better, closer to the color I desired the first time.

Before I had my hair fixed for the second time, I started pondering as to why it turned out wrong. The stylist had been spot on the first time he did my hair, but now he was wrong. My mom told me that it was his mistake, as he did not even match the color closely to the photo I had shown him. She then states that she was very happy with her hair (she had gone to the salon with me) because she kept showing the picture to the stylist numerous times, letting him know what she wanted. I then thought that maybe in a way, the color of my hair was also my fault. I did not double check as to what I wanted. I assumed his “I know what you want!” response was good enough. Additionally, I was not as panicked by the thought of it ending up wrong because I knew my mom could and would find a way to fix it. This is when I realized I always depend on my mom. My mom speaks up for me, even in the simplest situations. I always find myself thinking, “Am I still a 10 year old child?” Why do I always look to my mom before I answer the doctor when he asks me “What’s wrong with you?” ? In this situation, I was unconsciously depending on my mom. I feel as though I kept thinking “bahala na” (come what may) as the stylist was doing my hair, because I knew nothing could go wrong when my mom was around.

I personally think it is normal to be very dependent on parents. But as I evaluate myself in this situation, it really made me feel much like a child who took no action for her own self. This dependence on my mom has been evident ever since I was a child. My mom, according to Schacter, would be an identity agent in my life. An identity agent is someone who interacts with a child and therefore influences their identity formation. Asides from identity being who one is, I think it can also be classified as who one is with or without a certain person. Without my mom, I would feel lost, because she has been actively guiding me my entire life. I would think my identity formation is heavily linked with my mom- what she thinks is right for me, that she can in a way, speak for me. My experience in the salon has made me realize how dependent I am of my mother. Thinking about it more, I thought that this dependence could have been due to the constant help she has been giving me all my life. On the other hand, all the speaking up she did for me might also be the reason why I sometimes cannot make decisions by myself. Being in college, one always has to make a lot of choices. I have realized now more than ever that I always look to people in asking about something. Even for things as simple as attending a meeting or where I should have lunch, I almost always ask my friends and peers what to do. My cousin once told me that I am a very indecisive person. Now, I understand and agree with her statement. I always need other people to tell me what to do, or at the very least, opinions of what they think I should do.

In a way, I think that my recent experience in the salon was a good one, even if my hair was a disaster. I am now more than ever determined to become more independent, and to speak up when I decide what I really want. Additionally, I have come to appreciate my mom’s constant doing things for me even more than ever. Without her, I do not think I would be able to function properly. With this in mind, I now know that I have to start letting go of the constant ‘babying’ and start being my own person, with the identity I always wanted to have- an independent girl.

Schachter, E. (2008). Identity Agents: Parents as Active and Reflective Participants in Their Children’s Identity Formation. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 18(3), pp.449-476.

Parental Influence on Identity Formation

written by Sean Grajo

Our parents are one of the only people that we constantly interact with in our lives. They’ve been with us since birth and hopefully they are still with us in the present. Parents are the first ones who teach us while we grow. They teach us about the concepts of good and bad, what to do and what not to do, and they also nurture our social skills and needs while we develop. So how do parents influence our identity formation? We don’t necessarily think about what our parents have done for us and most of all we aren’t even conscious of it when it happens. According to Schacter “Identity agents are people who actively interact with children to participate in our identity formation”, from his definition, we can understand that parents aren’t the only source of identity agents we could have. Identity agents could also be our caretakers, our guardians, our teachers, and our friends but our parents are the most significant identity agents we could have. They are always there for us, we can always communicate with them if we need to and we can always learn from them as our parents. Identity agents have six components that help us during the stages of development. Identity concern, this is when identity agents see themselves as having a responsibility in the process of development. Goals, refer to the favoured identity content and specific social identities that the agents would want us to have. Praxis, refer to how identity agents would alter their lifestyles in order to focus on the child’s identity formation. Assessment, refers to how identity agents assess our development so they can address some decisions we make. Implicit theory, refers to psychological theories regarding identity development. Reflexivity, refers to how identity agents reflect on the goals and practices they have done for our development. As identity agents, I’m sure that all our parents have gone through parts of these 6 component if not all. And to further understand how parents act as identity agents I will be using my childhood as an example. During my childhood, the bulk of my development came from my parents, we were a very active catholic family and we would always try to live our lives as positive and as reflective as we could. My morality would develop as my parents would teach me what was right and what was wrong and they would often reinforce this by punishing us if we ever did commit anything wrong. By punishment I would think of terms like “palo sa pwet and pingot” not that the punishment was too painful for us but now that I think about it, it actually did wonders for my development and now I hav a better understanding of why they did it. Another bulk that came into my development was the culture of the Philippines. Respect is one of the biggest components of my family and my parents would often teach us to use po and opo when talking to people who are older than us. They taught us that po and opo were to be used with everyone older than us, it didn’t matter if the person was our yayas and drivers or the guards and workers. We were taught to give respect to anyone and to disregard their social classes and as a kid I never even thought of things like social classes anyways. Looking back at it now, even though I was unconsciously disregarding the concept of social class and standing, what my parents taught me eventually made me have respect for anyone around me which is a very great things because the people who are around me would usually think of me as a kind person and they would have good first impressions of me. Another thing I would like to talk about in regards to one of the six components of identity agents is how they would adapt and change their lifestyles to further develop the child’s identity formation. Before I was born my parents already had my kuya and they lived in the province however, when they found out that they would have me, they decided to move into the city in order to give me, my kuya and my other siblings a better future. When I was born my father would often come home from work earlier to spend more time with the family. As I think of my parents as Identity agents, I get the idea that they really prioritized me while I was still a developing child. They taught me of things that I would be using for the rest of my life, they changed their lifestyles in order to spend more time with me, and they provided me with all the needs I required to develop into the man I am today.