#i dont think they like me back so ill guess ill have to wait to find the right one to fill out my dramstic angsty yuriyaoi fantasy with
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rapidly approaching my 21st birthday is hard and weird but not for any normal reasons thats for sure
#not a vent post im just rambling in the tags#theres 4 main factors at play here.#firstly theres Society n all that telling me 21 is a Special Biethday!!! you'll be old enough to legally do adult things!!!#secondly theres the fact that i love being alive and celebrating it this shit rules like fuck yes i get to keep living hell yes#thirdly theres the fact that i kinda dont actually care. like its chill. ive reached the point where a birthday is a cute lil tradition#i dont gotta go wild with it and dont feel the need to treat it differently than any other day#but also the 4th thing which is 21 is yet another age my doctors told me id never get to see so like this is A Big One#so this is actually hard as hell because fundamentally i dont care that much n dont have strong emotions BUT FUCK DUDE WHAT IF BIG CELEBRAT#constantly sitting here going hehe yayy its my birthday soon cant wait to hang out with my friends and then go back to normal life#while also going I NEED BIG PLANS I NEED HUGE PLANS I NEED A CELEBRATION OFF THE WALLS OH FUCK OH GOD#it doesnt stop being funny. i dont even know what kind of big thing id do anyways#mom said i couldnt go to moterey bay aquarium too much money and that was my only idea#ive been thinking about this for weeks and have come up with 0 other plans#'we gotta do a huge party' ok then come up with one then dumbass#oh noooo guess ill have a nice time at home just like any other day oh nooooo#guess my 21st birthday will be unspecial. darn. anyways
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Ok I am like 99.99% sure I have a crush on my friend now 🤨
#i literally had a dream where they confessed their love to me or whatever and i had trouble saying it back so i wanted to meet them up tomor#row after that during midnight in the woods to say “i loved you this whole time back” n stuff uhm LMAO#and then we held hands tightly the day after that and i remember being SO SO SO SO SO HAPPY about it#and i woke up and forgot it was a dream si when I rememberd it i was like “..................”#anyway all i told them was “i had a weird dream but like bad kind of weird” and refused to elaborate on it#yeah#uhmmmmmm#i dont think they like me back so ill guess ill have to wait to find the right one to fill out my dramstic angsty yuriyaoi fantasy with
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hm. already regret signing up for more hours in february my time management skills are just. straight up nonexistent, i'll be real
#may have waited a bit too long to finish this week's task. at least judging by the fact that its 10.20pm on sunday and im like halfway done#i could come up with some excuse but i also dont want to#and theres the added obstacle that i dont really understand this task but like. i cant really ask my boss like. right now#i mean. itll be fine ill just do what i can and tell her that i didnt have time before the weekend ask her for clarification and do the-#-resr tomorrow. but its like#i feel like i was already a bit late on the last task (i think? im not really being given proper deadlines im just supposed to do my hours)#and they just offered me more hours bc my work is so 'quick and dependable :)' and now im like. actually im slow and#have no clue what im doing 90% of the time 👍#anyway! i'll ger back to it i guess. vent post over O7#(ignore any and all typos in these trying times please)
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#yesterday i was wandering around the campus where ive resided these last 4 years bc ive banned myself from running until my leg heals#and i was thinking like. what am i gonna miss about this place when i leave? bc im always thinking abt the things i cant wait to get away#from. and its a real short list. ill miss the palm trees bc i never get sick of seeing thrm. theyre so weird#ill miss the yucca. again bc theyre so weird looking. ill miss the way u can see where all the ants r bc in the non human populated areas#there isnt grass everywhere bc desert. ill miss that there r so many birds of prey hanging around. and the road runners and all the lil#lizards. and maybe in an abstract way ill miss being so close to the boarder bc when u live near a boarder boarders feel like bullshit#like staring down the road into another country. idk theres something i like abt that. ill probably also miss being able to run outside#all year long bc in the winter during the day all u need is a light jacket lol. where im going it gets real cold 🥶#maybe ill even miss the constant blue skies. but idk ive always liked a cloudy sky better. makes me think of home haha#ill def miss how convenient my apartment rn is. the loft bed. the low cost. the 5min walk to campus. sigh. but thats pretty much it. i#dont think ill miss anything else. im not really close with anyone. my boss was the reason i came here and she left this school in January#so thats it i guess. i think i stayed a year too long and was not well for a lot of my time here but so it goes#just gotta move to the next place. just gotta pray pray pray that i find an apartment soon. i dont even wanna say anything abt it bc im#afraid to jinx things. even tho thats irrational. like. i just gotta somehow project how good a tenant i am. im so quiet u will never see#me and i never complain abt anything bc i have brain problems. sigh. i cant wait for this transition to b over#im so so so ready to be in a new place doing new things. but at least my energy is back. im back to high energy on little sleep lol#i dont understand how my body functions lmao. somehow when i get a normal amount of sleep it's a sign that i feel awful#unrelated
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i feel like puking. ohh this is a bad time for the panic to set in. hmmmmmmmmm. hmmmmm. im so chill.
#thought about hormone care again i think im going to explode#i have the site i need to buy more t without a physician but. i dont know how ill do my own bloodwork so i am terrified#i guess id have to find a physician#waiting for my doctors to get back in touch with me and see where i can go from there#its just. man. idk. i can figure it out but im still panicking you feel me#how the fuck do i live like this. i mean i do it everyday but man this suck#s#i need to hurl bricks at politicians i think this would fix me
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Every time I have an awkward interaction I want to die.
#stuff sarah says#and every time we kiss i swear i could fly#jokes aside i really hate it#like can i not be in agony every time something is a little awkward?#all it was was me saying it was time for me to leave and waiting for an affirmative so i knew it was okay#like its not the end of the world but i feel like i can see it from here#anyway when i was like 13 i started hanging out with the friend group i was with through high school#bc one of the girls (the leader in the way friend groups often have them?) asked me to a sleepover bc she felt sorry for me#and she later like literally told me that#and idk ive been thinking about that a lot lately bc of the music ive been listening to bc im listening to it for the first time#but they all really liked the band back then and were pretty adamant that i wouldnt and idk it made me feel like i didn't belong#which like i guess i didnt in a way? and i never really belonged anywhere#but anyway like. can you really blame me for being afraid of social interaction and always thinking people will hate me#when most of my formative years were spent with people who either wanted to take advantage of me and thats why they liked me#or with people who felt sorry for me. i remember another friend group. this one more in elementary school. likr late. 6th grade.#saying i was like a lost puppy and that comparison still hurts so bad to this day#so just like i dont get what people would ever like about me so i have to act perfect to make up for it bc apparently im pretty undesirable#and this isnt me asking for compliments in fact please dont bc ill feel bad about it#i just like. please understand i am still unlearning a lot of this and some days are easier#and rn im emotional and want to cry or scratch my face off bc i felt awkward at work and i just have to live like this#sorry im weird in friendships. i mostly assume people dont actually want me around#bc the alternative is that they want to hurt me and at least tolerating me out of pity is neutral?#fuck idk
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me deleting the tumblr bookmark on my computer and the app on my homescreen the night before bcuz i wanted to force myself into a break since i wasn’t feel great about Other Things getting back online One Time to check my notifs before i go to bed
#so. ive been pretty detatched from m/c/y/t as a whole recently. not to the point that ill abandon fics#but enough that i only engage with content directly on my dash (no going into the tags is what im saying)#for now im just gonna chill. maybe write those other fandom fics i mentioned on my writing blog since the hobbies taking up most of my time#have been wrung a little dry lol#mostly im just gonna wait and see how this plays out. i plan to start writing for m/c/y/t again eventually of course#as for d/s/m/p related stuff that could be Officially Done Finally.#any completed fic will stay up. the WIPS will at the very least be orphaned (if not outright deleted)#this is worse case scenario Everything Plays Out Badly tho (i guess if you can say it hasnt already)#i think im gonna fully uninstall/logout. i didnt want to logout bcuz resigning in is annoying but that looks like what its gonna take F#mutuals feel free to ask for my discord over a tumblr ask in case any of yall wanna talk while im Offline and Touching Grass For Once#regardless of mutual status if you wanna send in an ask i might pop in to answer it and then pop back out#mainly because i rarely get asks anyway LMAO i highly doubt ill get any now#i say use an ask bcuz i get emails for those. comments and/or dms dont reach me outside of tumblr#i think what will bring me back the soonest is if i actually sit down and watch cour 2 of season two for t/&/b YES I HAVENT WATCHED IT YET#cringefail moment i know#otherwise thats basically where ive been. i have a bunch of funny videos saved in my likes that ill queue for yall#as well as some fandom posts in my drafts ill sprinkle in there#drink water stay safe etc etc#i will see yall on the flipside <3#oh also b4 i forget VOTE SNIFFER
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Im sore and guilty and i want to be held until the feelings go away. <- 24/7 shouted chant in the back of my brain
#i feel so badd😭😭 i will always put myself ahead of what i owe other people but not in a good way in a deeply selfish unkind unpleasant#way. like girl no one cares u were overwhelmed with school and work get a fucking grip on yourself.#i dont know what it is i just find it all so difficult. i feel like ill always let people down by dropping out of touch so it's just better#not to try at all WHICH DOESNY EVEN MAKE SENSE..........#but i feel so bad bc my mum so#unded so put out when she asked why i hadnt been texting her while she was away#and i didnt even have an answer#and i feel this visceral tug of grief every time i think of my grandma as if shses not still alive and also waiting to hear from me. it all#feels so frahile and temporary and like theres so much riding on it all and im so stressed and it's not good. anne Carson did you ever figu#re out where to put it down etc#im just so freaked out. i have to write 3 essays tomorrow ajd clean the house and avoid getting into any shit with my family. it's all#painfully real now ngl#i feel so alone but i cant bring myself to nurture the connections ive got. especially family. and it sucks. i wish it didnt feel like it#is all on me to keep everything together.#like i guess it's just a matter of really really trying to balance everything bc at the end of the day id rather have a late essay than kno#w i put an essay before my family.#but it's all just sooooooooòooooooiioooooiioioioiouououiyoririioo#Omfg i realized today that the intro of free in the knowledge uses the same chord progression asthat 1 bit of sweet song thats like#And ahhhhh it seems that we keep falling apart but i hope i see the good in you come back again. which i think is neat.#also i think someone is using the blundering#the blender* and i am not impressed.#oh my god im just so tired i think getting a job might have been a mistake. i think surviving birth was a mistake actually🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
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maybe i WILL get to move back home
#the bin#i talked to my mom and things might go ok but idk#i just have to wait and see but i desperately hope i can move. i need to see a doctor so bad. my whole body feels horrible all the time#and my tooth has gotten so much worse. i can deal with it if thres an end date. i cant deal with it indefinitely. and i cant afford to get#it fixed without insurance. i would rather die than deal with this shit for another however long i have to i CAN NOT do that#esp bc i would need to go to work while experiencing it. idk. im shaky literally ALL the time and my insides alwyas hurt and my joints#hurt so much too. and half the time im at work my chest hurts and i cant see straight. i cant fuckin do this anymorew.#apparently my dad might be getting a new job so their landlord might be more willing to renew but idk. she said she should know on april 1st#which isnt that far away but idk. i mean. its not impossible theyll renew. who knows. i hope so.#i know at keast thst i have a way to get there if there is a place for me to live so thats good. my health cant take this anymore. and im#also not able to emotionally. idk what other option i have but. god. its hard enough as is. im having like a perpetual panic attack since i#found out i probs wont get to move. im tryna be optimistic. i dont think im physically capable of staying here any longer#it was hard enough to stay herenthis extra yearm ive been having breakdowns repeatedly over it. and my physical health keeps worsening#i miss my little sister. i wanna be able to see the people i care about. theres so few people in the world i enjoy being around and i dont#get to see them ever. instead i have to see my second least favorite person in the world in order to even just get groceries#hhhh. i want the time to pass so i can know for sure but i also desperately dont wnat it to cause im so scared itll be bad news#whatever. i will hope and believe that itll work out until i know that it wont. hhhhh. worst case scenario i guess ill just have to save up#and figure out moving there later on but like. i was really happy to NOT have to worry abt rent or working so i could focus on my health and#then i could go back that that stuff. oh well
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.
#I can't get into specifics because it gives away my location I think but like. am I just supposed to fucking go back to sleep now?#I was going to be literally EXACTLY there tomorrow. in that EXACT place. what the fuck#and nobody is emailing me so i dont even know if im supposed to STILL be there tomorrow!#this doesnt make any sense and im sorry but i just have to panic vent a bit#my spatial awareness when im there is dogshit cause im always so nervous already but god what am i supposed to do now#someone texted me asking if i was safe and i was like. lmao. why#also gotta be real our emergency notification service could use some fucking work. you email me to warn me about this? for real?#if they don't email me tomorrow ill try to email them but i don't even know their fucking email#i guess i shouldn't be surprised because this is the usa but jesus christ#throw away the whole constitution baby because it is not fucking working#i guess ill just. lmao. go back to sleep now?? i shouldn't have looked into it i should've just waited until morning#christ
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I'm at my fuckin limit here
#b.text#im fine now but gawd. can i get a fucking break or not.#cant wait for ttrpg time tomorrow 😭😭😭😭. this will fic me. it will. please.#if i just ignore every single big problem in my life and just think abt the nice things and try to not let the problems overwhelm me#until they do then go back to thinking abt rollercoasters and not the 1000000 problems piling up. then ill be good#most of them i literally can just. do nothing about so. its best to not think abt them.#the others its just. i dont want to so i never will deal with them until the force me to. ao theres than i guess#gawd i just want this year to be good please. i had a mixed bag of a summer so at least let it be that cmon now#i just. would love to ACTAULLY get money instead of just barely get by. id like to ACTUALLY get a job. id like to ACTUALLY move out sometim#id like to do these things please but literally all of that hinges on the fact that none of those things are a viable option rn and#i just have to grit my teeth and hold on for dear fucking life until#well i guess something happens. i dont know.#i dint fucking know
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Dniddn im gonna throw up
#digging my nails into my palms why is all grief and death and your childhood will never ever return and you can never go back#why whyhwheyhehdjdnd like WHY DO I WANT TO??? it was bad and i was so lonely#stupid human brain just like. idealized the sense of the world i had. even when i was 13 i missed being younger#man idk#i feel like sadness is the primary emotion i feel connected to#and what a loser ass thing to say is that!!#i wonder if anyone ever talks to me and thinks oh man that is a profoundly sad person#no probably not im polite and impersonal and easy to interact with or i try to be but god im awkward#maybe i miss not knowing there was so much wrong with me#i can just see it with my coworkers and like. idk#idk henfjfbrj it could be worse#im glad to hqve regan but sometimes i dont think she really looks at me that much you know? like#im just. sad and lonely and ill probably always be like that tbh#maybe in a past life i left things up in the air so i always have a sense of incomplete#like i was supposed to finish something and im waiting for something#human nature maybe#i have dreams sometimes where someone talks to me really vaguely and says things about how i just never look the right direction 8^/#throws me off i guess#i just bejdnd dont keep reading this if you are regan#but i just wish like someone would find me fascinating and ask me lots of questions and tell me my perspective is valuable and jnejejdj#personal
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#other ppl: youll be fine! u r passionate abt what u do#no u dont understand. its not passion. im being consumed. im being devoured whole and alive.#its out of control and its killing me#stop trying to tell me im good. i can assure u its a problem and i want it to fucking stop. whats the point of being successful if u cant#even fucking breathe?#this has been my weekend in purgatory for some reason. but fuck u i got the fucking application 98% done so im gonna read it over tomorrow#when my brain doesnt feel like its gonna explode and thrn send it to the dude and idk see wtf he has to say about it bc im positive i#overwrote it bc im unhinged. whatever tomorrow im gonna spend another 4hr transfering algae#if i can. turns out ive given myself a headache and now i cannot sleep lmao#lol i wrote all that yesterday night. it appears i was having a bad time. and i continue to have a bad time bc my manuscript is 98% ready#for submission but i leave at 7.20 tomorrow morning for my flight and wont be home until 7pm in this time zone at the very least#which means ill have to fucking wait all day to submit i guess unless i use plane wifi or something. fucking idk#i also havent sent the application in yet and i havent bought any Christmas presents bc my brain is splitting into a million pieces#its 10 pm now. will is sleep tonight? who's to say i still have work to do on this fucking manuscript#at least my coauthor thinks itll only get sent back with minor revisions so it must look pretty ok#part of it is just me bitching abt inconsistent methods across papers bc it annoys me but also i dont give a fuck#i will fucking psychically control ppl to read this paper and use its knowledge bc the way they talk abt the topic annoys me so much#which is additionally annoying bc like i said i dont give a fuck#anyway im procrastinating#unrelated#my parents texting me today: yay we r excited to see u 🤗#and im just laying on the floor eminating a demonic aura
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hmm.
#ack. i wanna but a scale so bad but idk how much money i have rn#well at least since im restricting again ill have more money since i dont spend it all on food#wish i could get a job but id have to walk to it and i cant in the weather so im gonna wait till spring or summer#might wait till i turn 18 bc ill have way more options so i might aswell. its only like 2 months off from when i could even get one at all#hmmm. ill have to ask my mom to tell me how much is on my card bc i cant check it myself. im kinda regretting letting my sister not pay me#back immediately for $30 bc then i could buy a scale rn but she doesnt have much rn so whatever#going another month without a scale wont kill me. for the majority of the time before i recoved it didnt have a scale so whatever#but i remember feeling so awful not even knowing if the pain i put myself through did anything so idk if its worth that#i fall ever enough as is with my pots so idk if i wanna add starvation to tye mix when i cant even see the numbers drop#well. ill find out how much i have today and if i have a fair bit then ill buy one soon but if not then ill just cry ig#idk. i feel stupid for relapsing. i KNOW.it feels terrible and i dont even care much about getting skinny. i just miss starving myself#its not about getting skinny its just about seeing the number go down and hurting myself and i know it doesnt actually feel good but like#idk. my life has felt chaotic and out of control recently and i need something to hold on to even if it kills me#i dont even wanna die anymore either. i used to but now i dont. i have life plans that i wanna pursue. im not stuck in a moldy house with#people who abuse me. i live with my only friend in a place where i can actually go places. not many places but theres at least something#idk. i think itd be easier to be ok if i had other friends but i just have my sister. i dont even know how or where you meet people#everything i read either says scool for minors or bars for adults which is useless to me. the only others things are things not around me#idk. i guess ill have to get a car eventually and when i do that then i can go places. i feel so bleh lately#i just. i wanna be sickly and skinny. not bc i think im ugly but bc i wanna be sick. i dont dislike my appearance. im relatively thin#not that it matters bc theres nothing wrong with being fat but like. idk. i used to hate my appearance so much but i dont now#so it feels so weird that im relapsing anyway#idk
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boss' daughter I ln4
pairing: lando norris x brown!daughter reader
summary: lando is down bad for zak brown's daughter but shes a little hard to get
notes: I know this isn't pt 3 of my other mini series BUT i thought of this idea and had to do it immediately hehe, I really like this one
masterlist
y/nbrown
liked by landonorris, zbrownceo and 21,492 others
y/nbrown nyc living
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user i wanna see her at races shes so cute😭🫶
y/nbrown vegas! ill be there🤭
liked by landonorris
user help why's lando in his boss' daughter's likes
landonorris 🤩
user norizzzzz
user is this him shooting his shot AHAHHA
user NO LANDO SHES MINE
user IT GIRL
user landooo👀
y/bff/n pretty girl
y/nbrown love u babes
posted september 2023
y/nbrown
liked by danielricciardo, landonorris and 19,384 others
y/nbrown college student by day, dj by night😝
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y/bff/n ur so unserious babe
y/nbrown i ate, the people loved me
landonorris as a retired dj maybe you can give me some inspiration to start again
user LANDO???
user he's crushing so hard OMFFFF
user zak brown reading this: 🤨🤨
zbrownceo dont have too much fun!
y/nbrown 🫣
user such a dad reply lol
user y/n brown slaying once again
user so excited to see you back in the paddock soon🫶
liked by y/nbrown
danielricciardo you're perfect for him
y/nbrown who???
posted october 2023
y/nbrown
liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 30,341 others
y/nbrown vegas babyyy
tagged zbrownceo, danielricciardo, y/bff/n
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user gorgeous girl
danielricciardo finally reunited with my favorite brown
y/nbrown was too busy girlbossing sorry
danielricciardo what a shame, there's someone who's been waiting to meet you...
y/nbrown hm, i didn't meet anyone new🤷♀️
danielricciardo next race then
user is daniel hinting that lando didn't meet his crush sjsjkskks
user wait he hasn't EVEN MET HER?!?!
user im guessing not, shes been pictured with other drivers but never lando
user here for landos comments
landonorris maybe you should come to a race where I'm not crashing😅
user norizz strikes again
user its the fact that she never even replies and he's still trying HAHA
user hes fr out here risking his seat for her just not to respond back
mclaren 🧡
user shes finally back in the paddock!!!
user im surprised she doesn't go to more gp's, her dad's literally the ceo of mclaren😭
user i think she's mentioned shes very busy with uni so her schedule usually never aligns with the races
posted november 2023
y/nbrown
abu dhabi, UAE
liked by landonorris, zbrownceo and 25,482 others
y/nbrown escaping cold new york weather
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user OMG shes gonna be at the gp again this weekend!!
user landos got one more chance to shoot his shot before the season ends😭
landonorris hope to see you at the paddock!
danielricciardo thanks for letting me borrow that $10 mil bro I owe you🤝
maxverstappen1 thanks for saving my cats out of that burning building, you're a true hero🤝
alex_albon thanks for paying off my whole family's debt mate🤝
carlossainz55 thanks for gifting me that mclaren, i love it mate🤝
user ALL THE DRIVERS IN HER COMMENTS IMDEAD
user his rizz was so bad they had to step in omg.
user and she still hasn't acknowledged lando AHAH
user a true girlboss, I love her
user i need to know what zak brown thinks off all of this😭
user next season of dts gonna be craZy
user everybodys focused on the comments and not at the fact that these lyrics sound a little sus...
posted november 2023
landonorris posted a story
dannyyyy🤠
y/n wyaaa
im in the mclaren garage rn
y/n
aren't you suppose to be in umm idk YOUR OWN GARAGE?
dannyyyy🤠
yeah but I need to do something real quick so come
y/n
does this have anything to do with lando?
dannyyyy🤠
maybe...
y/n
im sorry but he's exactly why im not in the garage rn
dannyyyy🤠
WHAT WHY
pls dont tell me I hyped him up just for you not be interested...
y/n
im not NOT interested
but he's my dad's driver danny
this can get messy so fast
and what if he doesn't approve
dannyyyy🤠
oh you americans and your dramatics
hes already talked to your dad dummy
y/n
wait really?
dannyyyy🤠
you really think he would PUBLICLY hit on his boss' daughter without asking first?
y/n
idk never really thought about it
dannyyyy🤠
JUST COME DOWN HERE YOU MUPPET
landonorris
liked by y/nbrown, danielricciardo and 830,391 others
landonorris didn't win the race, but i won her heart
tagged y/nbrown
view all comments
user FINALLY
y/nbrown cheeseball
liked by landonorris
user HE ACTUALLY GOT HER
danielricciardo youre welcome
y/nbrown you pushed me in front of him then ran away...not the best wingman
danielricciardo its not like landos rizz was gonna get you together🤷♂️
y/nbrown true
landonorris hey! I wasn't that bad...
y/nbrown whatever helps you sleep at night hun!
user y/n blink twice if you need help
y/nbrown blink blink
landonorris 😔
user obsessed with y/n bullying lando in the comments
user I know I love them already
zbrownceo better take good care of her lando
landonorris sir yes sir🫡
user we can no longer make norizz jokes. sigh.
notes: what did y'all think of this one? I loved making it🤸♀️
#lando norris#lando norris fanfic#f1 x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris smau#lando norris x reader#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x you#ln4#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#formula 1#mclaren#lando norris imagines
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#diary#personal#mn. i sent an email today like planned. how nice. honestly it took me 1h and 30 mins or so....#which honeslty isnt half bad for me. in the end i just clicked send bc if i didnt i would keep tweaking it for hours#which then turns into weeks and months.... and ive already put this off for basically 2-3 months now#honestly im just impressed i sent it at all in the end. i was hella stressed n shaking and i had to doodle to calm myself down lmao#im sorta spent now. im like kinda dreading having to send emails back n shit if i gotta.#i. dont know how long i can keep up the fake professionalism lmao#and i just know im gonna get all wrapped up in things.#its always funny tho bc distractions like this sorta help with my just. overall meltdowning.#haha. bc i go from wanting to cry to like. just researching how to fix *vaguely gestures* this all#and i find that sorta calming ig? idk. im rly tired now#i usually go to bed earlier than this. well. no i dont. but i got up at six so i should be asleep by now.#well either way i guess i did well enough for today. time to sleep. not like imma be getting an email back today#now begins the anxious wait for a message back. how fun. how often do you think ill check lmao. probably like every few hours#mn. i should unwind maybe but i wanna sleep. idk. either way im fucking off. bye bye yall (i say to no one in particular)#(maybe theres a cricket im saying by to? hes important yknow lmao - but hey. this is just rly my diary anyways. bc im too lazy to keep one)
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