#im sorta spent now. im like kinda dreading having to send emails back n shit if i gotta.
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#diary#personal#mn. i sent an email today like planned. how nice. honestly it took me 1h and 30 mins or so....#which honeslty isnt half bad for me. in the end i just clicked send bc if i didnt i would keep tweaking it for hours#which then turns into weeks and months.... and ive already put this off for basically 2-3 months now#honestly im just impressed i sent it at all in the end. i was hella stressed n shaking and i had to doodle to calm myself down lmao#im sorta spent now. im like kinda dreading having to send emails back n shit if i gotta.#i. dont know how long i can keep up the fake professionalism lmao#and i just know im gonna get all wrapped up in things.#its always funny tho bc distractions like this sorta help with my just. overall meltdowning.#haha. bc i go from wanting to cry to like. just researching how to fix *vaguely gestures* this all#and i find that sorta calming ig? idk. im rly tired now#i usually go to bed earlier than this. well. no i dont. but i got up at six so i should be asleep by now.#well either way i guess i did well enough for today. time to sleep. not like imma be getting an email back today#now begins the anxious wait for a message back. how fun. how often do you think ill check lmao. probably like every few hours#mn. i should unwind maybe but i wanna sleep. idk. either way im fucking off. bye bye yall (i say to no one in particular)#(maybe theres a cricket im saying by to? hes important yknow lmao - but hey. this is just rly my diary anyways. bc im too lazy to keep one)
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