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am-i-the-asshole-official · 23 hours

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Okay here's one. I really dont think I'm the asshole but my ex sure does.

AITA for refusing to buy my partner a jar of pickles?

So this story has like, a little background and some confounding factors i think but i really could go both ways on whether i was the asshole.

Ill start with both my ex (21nb) and i (23f) had severe mental health issues and were working on treatment when we were together. Theyd been in and out of inpatient stays throughout our three year relationship. Towards the Day of Pickles, i had my first inpatient stay where i got help i desperately needed to keep myself safe. This happened to be about a week after my 23rd birthday, but about two and a half weeks before their 21st birthday.

Anyway, at that time i had just gotten out of the hospital and started a new job at Joanns Fabrics (i outlived that retail fucker and im proud of it). I had been unemployed for the previous year and a half because of the pandemic and so the retail job was really my saving grace to have some sort of income to buy gas and groceries. My parents let me live rent free with them in their basement but i spent a LOT of time essentially squatting at my ex's dorm because my situation with my parents was not great.

Now my ex was also being financially abused by their mom so they had a monthly "allowance" of 200$ (of their own money they made at their on campus job) and no access to their bank statements. So i spent a lot of my own money on gas and groceries for both of us, and anything we wanted to do for fun, like visit the city. Without an income, this was SUPER stressful for me and i spiraled pretty hard with feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. Supporting two people, even minimal living expenses, on an income of exactly 0$ is the WORST.

Anyway, i got out of the hospital and pretty much immediately went back to picking up as many shifts as i could at work because id been on staff for all of two weeks before hospitalization. Knowing retail, i was probably on the precipice of losing hours or being fired altogether.

My ex wanted me to take time off to celebrate their 21st birthday (they didnt celebrate my birthday that year) and travel to see their family and drink etc. I got scheduled for an inconvenient time. I would have to miss their birthday if i didnt find someone to cover. I managed to switch shifts with another coworker who was nice enough to let me have her morning shift, so i was able to at least travel separately and be a little late to dinner.

The night of their birthday my ex wanted to get drunk and so we went to the liquor store. Now im generally pretty picky about alcohol but if i get anything special i always get enough to share. Mysteriously, no one ever offers to share the expense or pay me back. So with all of 150$ in my account, i purchased enough alcohol for myself and the rest of the party, and a bottle of (cheap af) liquor for myself. I was broke af until my next paycheck and was pretty much planning on giving up meals and staying at home because the commute to work was shorter and meant less gas.

My ex picked out a jar of boozy pickles and asked if i would get it for them for their birthday. I should note that with all the stress i was under i had found a birthday present for them but hadnt actually placed the order (was waiting to get paid). I also didnt lie to them about this and had told them that i hadnt gotten their birthday present yet. They were upset by this and told me they felt like i didnt care about them, to which i snapped and raised my voice a little.

I gave them a bit of a reality check. I told them in no uncertain terms that i was under a lot of stress, from nearly killing myself to being flat broke with little to no help from my family other than a conditional roof over my head, ordering their birthday present wasnt super high on my list of things to do and that i knew what i was going to get them and that i intended to order it as soon as i had the money to do so. After years of the sole attention being focused on keeping them alive, i needed some support and acting like i didnt care completely ignored EVERYTHING i did to keep us both afloat.They cried and played the victim as they tended to do and i was too stressed to do anything but be angry.

So when they asked for the pickles i told them no. I have NOTHING left in my bank account, and anything that was in my account was already allocated for something else.

They told me i was being selfish for buying myself alcohol on THEIR birthday, not even getting them a present, yelling at them, and then refusing to buy the one thing they asked for, especially after i refused to take off work the day before to hang out with them and their family. In front of our friends.

I told them that i was purchasing the alcohol for the whole party, that the present had slipped my mind, and that they were accusing me of not caring about them when i snapped. Then i walked out.

My bff went outside to help me cool down and i told him what was going on and how stressed i was and he said that he agreed with me, it was childish to expect me to pay for everything with no help from anyone and then act like im unreasonable for having to put limits on what i can purchase.

My ex ended up getting so pissed by all of this they broke up with me two days later, saying that their birthday was the final straw for them after I'd been so codependent and relying on them too much to survive.

I think its all ridiculous given all of the stress factors i was dealing with at the time. I feel like we're all entitled to the occasional emotional outburst/bouts of forgetfulness when we're stressed. But my ex seems to think im a selfish asshole. We've been no contact for the last two years so this isnt like a pressing concern or anything but it does make me roll my eyes occasionally.

So tumblr, aita?

(Btw im also much more financially stable now that I'm fully and properly medicated and away from them.)

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

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drdemonprince · 3 days

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Any chance you'd expand on the hank hill trans guy post? (Sorry, best indicator I could come up with.) The concept interests me as I decidedly know my maleness, yet don't feel impeded by for the most part, any male gendered norms/boxes. I am fairly masculine, though I rarely use those kinds terms to describe myself. I have found I often do stray outside of what society pushed for me when I transitioned, yet I again do not feel it has taken from my right to maleness whatsoever. I am just me, who happens to be male. I have had friends try and suggest I am NB adjacent but I do not feel this way whatsoever. I feel more people are outliers to gender expectation than we care to admit and it's disappointing the way cis-people deny that. Hope this wasn't too long winded, I value your writing and perspective, and wanted to hear more of your thoughts on this.

Yeah, well so many things all get conflated by gender labels, and it's all so personal, you know? Masculinity does not have to mean maleness, and a person's gender identity might be a reflection of some innate quality they experience themselves as having, or a general summary of their tendencies, or their desired presentation, or their sense of affinity with other people, or an interpersonal tool, or something they just go along with because it was given to them by society, or any other number of things.

I think my recent substack piece on detransition goes into this pretty well, and I have an upcoming piece of what @pastimperfection calls "bilateral dysphoria" that comes out next week that delves into it too.

I think I mostly saw taking on a male identity as a means to an end more than any kind of innate reflection of who I was, though I did feel an affinity with effeminate men for a lot of reasons. I think I also discounted how much I have in common with my fellow nonbinary people of all stripes, because that identity became so strongly associated with being an annoying type of queer person that everybody else just wrote off as ultimately being their assigned gender at birth anyway no matter how much they protested. it doesn't help that 'nonbinary' is a catchall term for literally thousands if not millions of very distinct experiences and desires.

transitioning gave me control over how i was perceived, finally, but hormones are a throttle that only go in one very specific direction, and you don't really have all that much control over which changes kick in at which times and what people will make of you once you do start registering to them as some identity other than what you were first saddled with. it's an incredible gift to be able to toggle that throttle. but it's limited, not because medical transition isn't incredible and needed for so many, but because there is no escaping the goddamned binary cissexist logic that influences everything about how people treat you, how you navigate institutions, who finds you desirable and what they want out of you, and so much else.

if you're able to cast a lot of the external societal bullshit aside and feel strong in your maleness, maybe you're stronger than me or maybe our orientation to these things is just different, i don't know. i was never all that sensitive to feedback that i was doing the whole being-a-woman-thing all that wrong. i reveled in violating those rules to an extent. succeeding at being a woman despite my best attempts was what felt super dysphoric. and now i guess im succeeding at being a man, insofar as im always read as one, and it feels just as uncomfortable and objectifying and false. i thought that with manhood i could probably just grit my teeth and deal with it, but i'm finding that i can't.

ive always been very open that for me, gender is a thing I Do, and i guess to those who know me well it wouldnt be surprising to hear that i have gotten tired of Doing Being a Man and dont feel like playing that particular gendered game anymore. I tend to get bored of things! and find the flaws in things. and find my comfort in being fault-finding and contrarian and not being a joiner. and thats okay. i learned a lot along the way. not having to try any more is a huge relief. i can just do whatever. and know actively that people will more often than not be wrong in what they make of me.

maybe it was natural feeling for you to decidely 'know' your maleness without a care for masculine standards because that is the right identity for you! and maybe i only feel secure in the "not knowing" realm and in letting go of what people think of me or finding any kind of tidy categorization for it because that's the right spot for me. for now. until i find a new interesting way to be unhappy and striving for more and different again. :) that's just part of being alive, for me.

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flodaya · 6 hours

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In general, most often celebrities do not change their names after marriage, but in their case there is a possibility that this could happen and it would be funny: after all, it’s not Tom who can change his name (and become just Tom - this is absurd) 😆), but Zendaya’s surname changes will not change anything for society and cinema, she never used her last name and it would be funny if she really changed her last name and they accidentally found out about it a couple of years after the wedding, for example, in some interview like the one where a French journalist asked TZ - their names, last names, family status. For example, many years ago, when Madonna was married to Guy Ritchie, she bore his last name. Changing your last name is optional anyway, but it's always a funny TZ joke.

i'll never get tired of the "just Tom" joke

but yah, my sister-in-law didn't change her name, it's not really a big deal, i just think us making such generalized statements about them as "they would NEVER change their last names" is so wanna be progressive, it's not a good take to have when changing your last name simply can be for sentimental reasons and people are allowed to want to share a family name, i personally would want to share a last name with any future spouse, i dont care about keeping my current last name

#ask

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fanofthelamb · 3 days

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So I went dumpster diving in my tablet for the first lamb I ever drew and WOW... I found a lot of sketches I really don't plan on revisiting. I am jsut gonna dump them below the cut for people to see!! Some of it is lore related, some of it is shit I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE, but IDC!!! I will post it anyway for the tumblr users who I keep an eye on my notifs for. (yes, i see you guys. even if i dont always interact I see you and love you guys)

Anyway, here is the earliest drawin I have of me drawing the lamb!! I am going to write a comment under a lot of these to add context to them.

A cute little baby <3333 but I struggled a LOT of figuring out what the lamb was wearing, I eventually figured it out though. (I hope)

if you know, you know. (RIP VAL)

for my BTG AU. I decided I no longer wanted chemach to make the [spoiler] for the lamb, though, so I scrapped this

vaaaal,,,,,, i was still learning how to draw him, i wish i put pants on him but do those even exist in COTL? (yes)

I haven't been able to do much with them because I'm putting other stuff first, but Brear has two kids, Notre and Brejul who Narinder absolutely ADORES. he is the one who babysits.

fun fact but the lamb being touch repulsed is a projection LOL. i hate it when people touch me it feels so tickly and makes me want to bite their faces off. (but i am touch starved and i LOVE to show affection to other ppl, esp thru back rubs)

yes, they have a hoop for personal space. no, ill never use it.

drum corcl,,,, i love the little dancing guy that comes from the drums

more narinder and brear. they're not romantically interested in each other, but he is absolutely head over heels for brear, their brother, and the kids. they even call him dad sometimes.

[no context]

kallamar and leshy before their crowns. the scene i have related to this isn't happening anymore, but it was leshy begging to be taught to swim.

another "the one who baby sits" doodle. the bishops all came into the cult with a very good repuation thanks to narinder. he likes to tell the kids of the cult stories about how amazing his siblings were. at first, it was just to nobre and brejul with stories about leshy(he missed leshy a lot even though he was still mad at him, and the two reminded narinder of his time with leshy), but then it escalated into him hosting storytimes with larger groups after they started repeating some of the stories he'd tell them.

unfinsihed stuff about with the lamb and thier mom. their mom wasn't afraid of the bishops at all, but knew that they were a still a threat to her and her child's life. the lamb did NOT care for anyone thier mom didn't approve of/enthusiastically liked. they were much more afraid of the bishops than their mother.

i do not actually know if i posted this.i dont think so, but i giggle every time i scroll past it

brear and nobre <333

im still workong on BTG shit, and i post a little bit of the characters on here even tho the comics are going to be posted elsewhere. they have a "crownlike" beak, but a body part. there's different creatures who became gods through different ways; crowns are one way but their power is stuck with the crown and they are considered extremely weak compared to other gods. i wont blabber on about it tho.

so many sketches has random lines through em because i work with a tablet,,, i hate it. anyway, narinder and kallamar everybody!

sketches i made but didn't bother to finish of me and merbre,,,,,,,,, my husband #1 <3 them w/ narinder + merbre arent gonna be considered "canon" but damn it ill self-ship with them until i get a follower i can WORK with

i come back to this every few weeks and im never happy with it, i dont know if ill finish this but i think about them........ before the divorce </3

unused from an ask

heartstealer. menace. you can rip my heart out anytime, leshy <3

dreshy. he LOVES dresses and being pretty and cute and pretty. he sucks narinder into a lot and heket will sometimes join in if he demands asks her to <3

another unused drawing from an ask i'll eventually answer. (mildly offended at being called a mutton cube.)

.... aaand WOW! I think that's everything guys!! things are still kinda wild but they're calming down a little bit. idk how much longer it's gonna last like this but I have some energy so I made a way-too-long post showing off art I wasn't supposed to post! Awesome. :D

#cw gore #cotl au stuff in here #23 pics under the cut btw #cotl #cotl fanart #cult of the lamb #cotl lamb #the lamb #cotl narinder #cotl spoilers #cotl kallamar #cotl leshy #i dont think ill tag anymore #idek if i should've tagged this post at all #but well see how it plays out!!#THIS POST TOOK FOREVER TIME TO GO CLEAN

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poisonouswritings · 10 months

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Hi, people. I'll try to keep this short:

As some of you may have noticed, I haven't really been online in the last two (closer to three) months.

In between family health issues and general life stresses, I've completely lost my ability to sit down and write. And that means that seeing all the requests and drafts I have piled up just gave me anxiety, which just made me not want to open this app at all. That meant I wasn't getting anything done here, which just gave me more anxiety, and there you have a vicious cycle of burnout.

I'm still dealing with that. That's why I'm officially putting this blog on indefinite hiatus. For anyone who still likes my writing, sorry about that (although I'm not really sure if anyone likes Last Legacy anymore anyways). I'd like to come back eventually but I currently have no plans or ideas about when that would be or what I would do.

To the friends that have reached out, both in messages and asks, thank you (I'll check back in a few times over the next few days to respond to anything new). Uh, hopefully you all see this post. And to anyone who's enjoyed this blog, thank you. I've really enjoyed getting to post my little stories and hopefully brighten people's days a bit.

Anyways, for anyone who still wants to reach out for whatever reason, I've made a little blog called @justsomerandommoviestuff . It'll mostly just be reblogs and random little things but it's open.

I guess that wraps up what I wanted to say. Thanks, everyone, for sticking around this long.

#i dont think many people will really care about this anyways #but i needed to make an official post for my own peace of mind. so.#ozzy speaks

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skrunksthatwunk · 1 year

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something he can't put into words.

#ANOTHER DAIGO POST!!!! <333 #also sorry for being like teehee yaoi dojima anyway daigo can't/probably shouldn't be close to his bio dad and latched onto this random #20 year old but Doesnt Quite recognize what is so wrong about sohei and so right about kiryu and how he should feel about either #meaning he cant fulfill his true desire (baby duck around kamurocho with his babysitter who's probably got better things to do bc people #always have better things to do than take care of him but at least kiryu pretends he enjoys it #for hours and hours and hours. some of the others ask him how he is or what he's up to at school but they don't really reach him like kiryu #does. he wants to impress him soooo bad. aughhh baby daigo you're annoying but you're also so emotionally neglected #haha latching onto mentors bc they're more involved/easier to connect to than parents haha who would do that not me ahem uh anyway #(skrunks be normal about and not project onto a kiryu + child dynamic challenge: impossible)#anyway he can't just say sohei's his father bc he's a big crime daddy but he hasn't really.. accepted? whats going on with kiryu yet either #i dont think he knows kiryu's his dad is my point #rgg #ryu ga gotoku #yakuza #dojima daigo #like a dragon #daigo dojima #ykz #i accidentally saved over soo many versions of this so i had to be like fuck it we ball. thats the final version of that panel now #gonna schedule this for later today bc i dont wanna stifle the kazumi posts but i also uh. am impatient #anyway more little daigo content he's such an ass but it makes so much sense why he's like that and he deserves a whole lotta love #also i just realized i used different name orders for kiryu and yayoi... sorry idk im just incapable of writing kazuma kiryu #uhOOPS POSTED IT EARLY NVM #yer gettin a loootta skrunk content today ig #skrunkart

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sonknuxadow · 3 days

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they werent lying that knuckles series barely has knuckles in it

#i pirated that shit Btw just so we're clear. also gonna talk about it a little bit in the tags #nothing too spoilery but also might not wanna read if you want to go in knowing absolutely nothing? idk #anyway he WAS a main character still he was present for a decent amount of the first couple episodes #but the amount of screentime he gets just starts dropping after that . hes barely there at all in the second half ???#and it feels like theres a lot of scenes mostly focusing on wade and his problems and not near as many for knuckles and his whole deal #overall it feels more like a wade show with knuckles in it than a knuckles show with wade in it. which sucks #and human characters having plot relevance isnt the problem here i dont mind human characters at all i think they can be really fun #its the fact that the human characters are taking over the story and spotlight when the show is called knuckles #and all the marketing makes it look like knuckles is the main focus #and i also would have preferred if they just went with a differnet character to be knuckles' human friend #because i dont particulraly care about wade. and the knuckles (and sonic and tails) i know would not be friends with cops </3 #well at least the story wasnt knuckles training wade to be a better cop like a lot of people were expecting but thats like.the bare minimum #also aside from the issues relating to knuckles' screentime (or lack of screentime) i thought the ending was unsatisfying #regardless of all that though there WERE some parts i enjoyed or found kind of funny or whatever. because knuckles so cutesy as always #knuckles being a cute little guy is the most important part of the show actually #and i liked the parts with sonic tails and maddie even if they were only there for like 5 minutes #(i really wish those three had gotten more screentime. i feel like they could have easily worked in at least one more scene with them)#and its a minor thing but the opening sequence is cute. was honestly expecting just a title card or something #overall the show is just . kind of okay i guess. not the worst thing ive ever seen but still disappointing ? idk how to explain..#my expectations also werent very high in the first place #so maybe im being a bit more generous than i would have been otherwise. idk #and i definitely would not recommend this to anyone who already dislikes the sonic movies . youll probably hate this more #like people who thought the human characters got too much screentime in the second movie would lose their minds if they saw this

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rohirric-hunter · 23 days

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Also I'm vaguely offended at the implicit assumption that hobbits as a general rule don't already know who Morgoth is

#this is about something i posted a long time ago but its been eating at me #like obviously they know who morgoth is #they know who sauron is #or at any rate have as much of an understanding of him as anyone else who isnt a scholar or resident of gondor #so it stands to reason that they would also have a basic understanding of morgoth #a dark lord who has just about the same amount to do with them and their lives #i mean i think people get this impression that hobbits are dumb and dont know things from pippin and sam #pippin is a child #and while sam himself is curious and smart and eager to learn and know things #i would put money on it that you could tell the gaffer that the earth was round and he would immediately forget that information #because it doesnt have anything to do with his life and he therefore doesnt need to know it #so sam hasnt really been told as many things as a lot of people #both of them are bad examples #compare them to bilbos ability to infer things in the hobbit based on a general background knowledge of the world at large #like he knows what a furrier is! i dont even know what a furrier is!#but anyway the point is i think the hobbits know how the world works #they keep to themselves but theyre not isolated lmao #like idk if yall are aware of this but theres this road that runs right through the middle of their country called the GREAT EAST ROAD #they turn suspicious people back at the borders but there are plenty of perfectly respectable people who come through #down. you know. the GREAT EAST ROAD #they know whats out there. they just dont care

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torosdottir · 29 days

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wish someone would hurry up and come up with a quick and easy definition of the word "love" and solve so many of my problems

#i feel like i love so many people but i struggle BAD to express it bc. i dont know what that means to them #it feels often like people take it to mean some deeper thing that i never mean at the same time they do #maybe i am simple in many definitions of the word. ive had entire fallings-out with people about it.#people say love is hard love is work people will say they can love someone but not even like them at times #i dont understand it. it leads me to believe i am lacking in this mystical 'love' they describe #but i feel full of love.#i AM simple i feel like i love people the way i love music and food and drink and. idk colours and warmth and. simple things!!#i think it means when something makes you happy!! when you enjoy it when u want it around!#but many people equate it with. things that i would describe differently.#whjatever i just want to tell a million people i love them but i want them to know what i mean.#i mean sure i care for u sure i dont want anything bad to happen to u but i feel that way about almost every human!#what i really mean is u bring me joy and i ENJOY being around u its not hard it doesnt make me feel bad or guilty its good!!!#anyway whatever anthony green just wants me to set myself alight on a fucking pyre. friends in my phone i love u..

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dorkicon · 9 months

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bitching abt my job again

tags contain frank mentions of transphobia and homophobia

#this happened like. i dont know. a month ago or something but i still keep playing it in my mind #for those unawares: theres been a fucking community outrage over the pride display at the library i work at #and have been working/volunteering at for 5 years #only it never went up. it never went up. bc the mayor came in as a quote unquote private citizen and demanded it taken down #despite the fact that patrons are required to fill out complaint sheets and even then it isnt ensured a display will be taken down #so obviously its a misuse of power that hes spinning into him being a concerned citizen #and i made a whole post bitching abt it and im doing so again (hi) bc i didnt like how our director responded to it #and yeah. so there was a board meeting after that right. well i set up for them as i usually do and let me tell you. that was the first #--time more than like 6 people came to spectate. it was insane.#and i guarantee that this months meeting wont have half as many people that fucking crammed themselves in there to complain abt gay ppl #bc of course they dont give a shit about the library #they just care about how scary the queers are #and yeah it was a shit show. i learned we have a far right organization in our town #and i was sat right in front of her husband the whole time #(standing actually. i was standing between him and my moms chair and he was sighing and grumbling the whole time bc he couldnt muster the #--balls to ask the 5 foot 2 fag in front of him to please move lol. small victories right)#when i say her i mean the leader of the freaks. idk. chairman? anyway she had a whole speech about how like queers are bad and cutting #the penises off little babies or whatever and she pulled up this passage from a book that was part of the display #its some book by the youtuber rowan ellis-- here and queer i think was the title. it was cataloged in our ya section and contained passages #talking about like having safe sex and what dildoes are and all that kind of shit. just really clinical descriptions imo. im not familiar w #--the youtuber really but im assuming they wrote it as informational bc shocker: teens be having sex. unsafe sex. especially queer teens #sourse: i was one of tgose #and...think for a moment. remember when you were a teen. youd rather fucking DIE than listen to your parents give you the sex talk #and chances are if youre gay your parents arent even going to know WHAT gay sex is (hugging without shirts on) so youre going to look #--elsewhere #bc if youre a hormonal fucking teen youre going to figure it out one way or another! especially if youre from (cough) a podunk shitwater #--town like mine that ran on abstinence by way of sex education #i think teens deserve to have access to that sort of information through trusted means. and i do mean het teens too #but no these fucking morons put on airs like everyones waiting till marriage--no! not my becky sue! as if they werent fucking around in #--holy shit i reached taglimit. i didnt ecen know there was one. hold on

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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year

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My anxiety and depression feel like the ocean. Even when I'm not drowning in it, I'm having to fight to swim and it's exhausting. Even when I'm not swimming in it, it's still there, waves greedily lapping at my feet. It's always there.

I don't talk about it because there isn't much to say. Everyone already knows the ocean exists, yknow? Telling them it does just seems redundant.

Even when I'm sitting safely on the shore I can't stop thinking about it, staring at it, swaying where I stand because I've forgotten what it feels like to stand without the waves. Just waiting for the tide to rise again because I know it has to. Waiting for the ocean to disappear even though I know it never could.

#this wasn't meant to sound poetic or anything. jts just something i cant stop thinking about #anyway just some musing about chronic depression and anxiety #it never feels easier. it never feels better. its all just part of the cycle #all of my friends know. they all know what i go througj #and it isnt quite that they dont care. its more like its just routine to them #like 'oh opossum wants to kill himself? opossum cant take the fear and exhaustion anymore?' just another monday to them #all the while the people who have never been to the ocean before tell me to keep swimming. tell me it gets better #tell me to get out and dry off #because in their minds the worst its been was the deep end of a swimming pool #i cant hate them for not drowning with me. its not like i would do anything different in their place really #its just angering #because i have no way to make anyone understand #i dont want to be alone but i dont want people to drown with me #i dont know what to do and i never have #im always waiting for something to change #but no matter how many people come into my life with beach towels and buckets for hauling water #theyll never make the ocean shallow or dry me off

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choixsimple · 22 days

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when saying "I just don't understand why this level of aggressive violence, supply blockade, and civilian casualty is necessary in 2024" results in people saying to your face that you "support terrorism and want the hostages to die" you start thinking maybe the human race wasn't built for any level of nuance

#two things can be true #hell more than two things can be true #i can feel extreme empathy for both the israeli hostages and the palestinian civilian population #while not supporting hamas nor the israeli government/military #an insane concept i know #also it goes without saying that being a civilian on either side of this war would be horrible #but objectively palestinian civilians are undergoing much worse conditions on average #so thats why many people jews included are donating esims and unwra funds etc to Palestine #even if they arent violently anti israel #anyway my point is NUANCE EXISTS #black and white situations almost never exist irl #i for example am a jewish person who donated to unwra and buys esims and does my clicks for palestine #but that doesnt mean i dont care about the israeli hostages?? i think about what those still alive must be going through and its horrific #i want them safely returned #but thats separate from the suffering of palestinian civilians #having empathy for Palestinians also does not mean i support hamas so stop conflating those things too #ive seen people call palestinian kids starving on the street “terrorists”#so yeah im really losing faith in humans having any empathy or nuance

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0809sysblings · 3 months

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idk why I'm posting this here but it's fine because I can do whatever I want. sorry I think I'm having an enneagram type 1 moment. it's not mental illness, it's because of my enneagram type! can't help being a Gemini Enneagram Type 1

also I keep using the amulet's powers so I've been being hit with the after effects. such power deranges a man /ref

#milgran't #type 1 momence #btw as a prefacw this is not directed at anyone here. this is just. a thing. that is everywhere.#ok. anyway.#the....... Exotification of DID/OSDD-1... is always so annoying.#and like. i get it. i understand. its probably a difficult thing for many ppl to actually comprehend as a real human experience #which brings me to the main point of this Pussy-Rant (ranting in tags bc im a pussy)#i think. the main reasom its So Exotified. is. '''''''MPD''''''''#serioisky that name has done. so much fucking damage its insane. absolute wack shit #anyway yeah. like. the concept of it being Multiple People In One Body/Brain... when like... that's.. not really whats going on..#like if youre a system and that's how you understand your system to be. then power to you. i dont care do literally whatever #its just. i think CDDs would be a LOT easier for people to understand if--#--it was not looked at as the Multiple People Disorder. but instead as the Fucking Extreme Compartmentalization Disorder #idk its just annoying seein ppl (who are probably very well meaning!) talk about the disorder i experience as if its bizarre and fantastical #~look wooooowwww this is something that can happen to the brain due to The Most Unreal And Most Traumatic Events!! crazy right?~#i am going to get the Evil Alter out here so he can beat you to death.#like yeah its fucking. sad and fucked up what has to happen to develop a CDD. and that should be acknowledged.#and many systems Have had to go through experiences that a lot of ppl can only fathom as being able to happen in fiction.#but.... its just so isolating and makes me feel Capital C Crazy 🥴#dear lord ive just been so irritable and frustrated lately... obligatory apologies.#ah. i think i suddenly figured out why this in particular triggers me so much.#god damn it it's always the fucking trauma huh!#<- spent basically all of elementary school and middle school feeling like there was a giant sign over my head that said--#--''this poor soul went through something so tragic! how awful to think that something that serious could happen to just a little kid!''#its the ''hey can you stop treating me as something helpless that needs to be fixed and just treat me like A Fucking Person'' feelings #but see this disorder is just so beautiful because in a week i may be wanting ppl to see me as a suffering freak who needs to be fixed #or hell even fucking tomorrow. who knows not me #.. ok im actually genuinely afraid talkimg about this is going to lead to her gettinf triggered out KDJSNKDJSNJD so im gonna. stop.

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shieldwife · 5 months

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also worth saying that this is driving me to writing thg fanfic bc I'm genuinely pissed off, but my favourite way of engaging with thg isn't even with canon characters at this point. it's through thinking about two ocs I've had for years that I mentally refer to as "toxic fishermen yuri", and I'm incapable of writing extensively abt anything related to thg that doesn't involve them lol

#toxic fishermen yuri is like:#what if we were childhood friends who grew up together in our working class neighbourhood and knew each other in a way no one else ever wil #but you were being indoctrinated into thinking that our evil fascist government and their child murder competition were actually cool #and that you should totally volunteer for them one day. and even though I unlike you am immune to propaganda I can't abandon you #I'll never abandon you. you're the only person who has ever truly known me and I'm the only person who has ever really known you #so even after you volunteer and I watch you become twisted into something I KNOW you're not and you come back as ghost of your former self #with blood on your hands and a dead look in your eyes I'm still here. I'll always be here. I promise.#even when I become more and more deeply involved in a plot against our government and you become more and more entertwined with it #and I watch you be used and abused by it even as you claim you owe everything to them. and so many ppl I know claim you're a collaborator #a capitol loyalist and a traitor I know you're not. I know you. you had good intentions and did what you thought was right #I know you're just scared. I know you just want to protect people and you're just trapped in a web of you're own making #and given the opportunity? I know you'd take a way out. I know you'd do the right thing. I dont care what you or anyone else thinks.#I'm still here. I can't abandon you even if I wanted to. and I know you won't abandon me #and also we were both girls #anyway. they make me unwell </3 I love toxic homoerotic friendships. I literally can't talk about them or I just. do what you see above #I go completely insane and I know literally no one else will care lol #op

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brightokyolights · 1 year

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I hate when im trying to explain something to someone and they literally do not Get It until I can successfully find a comparable anecdote that they personally relate to. I am always just like

#i have a rule about comparing situations because people get so annoying being like 'oh thats not the same' or 'i wouldn't care'#and it gets SO pendantic #like yeah its different for you!!#hence why i try to just explain the sitch as is because im sorry but you should be able to feel empathy for people without directly being #able to relate to them. apologies for the controversial take #and its EXACTLY why people who have so much priveledge and dont really experience discrimination get away with not worrying about so many #issues. because for a lot of people if something doesnt directly relate to them/impact them they dont think its an issue and they dont care #why oh why do i have to be so hell bent on being a just person when i could instead be a brain dead bigot instead 🤣😭😭#anyways. its fine. i will get over it. you win some you lose some. but i thought a good tumblr rant would help me process my emotions lmao #le text post

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dennisboobs · 6 months

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this is genuinely... so funny to me. like the hilarity of copypasting rational tweets. i'm literally right. it's not even a funny copypasta because it's literally just. objectively correct. it's a criticism of twitter culture and that makes it funny to you because...... god forbid you actually have empathy for other people. caring is for losers if you're on twitter dot com, you have to be snarky and funny at all times.

#moots & friends keep sending me shit and im just like. lmfao this is embarrassing for YOU guys. i stand by everything ive said actually.#i'm sorry you think trying to have a genuine conversation about harmful behaviours is cringe #you consider yourself an activist and will retweet every fucking post abt current events #but you can't actually be bothered to make a positive change in your own life.........#the fact that most of them stop responding after they realize im not going to freak out and give them something emotional is very telling #it's not even like most of them disagree they literally just want to make fun of me for...... caring. like ok. weird hill to die on idk #im at the point where im considering privating my tweets just so i dont continue to get ppl responding but #i think its important that ppl can see my responses. because i stand by them and clearly other ppl do too #theres been a lot of mixed responses but a lot of people have actually ended up agreeing with me after some back and forth #which i appreciate. i didnt want to start fuckin. twitter drama. but like. ill take it #i dont interact with sunnyblr at all so i think this is a good opportunity to potentially change at least a few ppls perspectives #and if youre too far gone to the point where you think that someone caring about perpetuating homophobic rhetoric is funny #i. dont really want to interact with you anyway lol. get better soon xoxo #last post about this on here im. putting this to rest.#ada speaks #genuinely disgusting how many of these ppl will say shit like. ppl are dying. like... yeah. what are YOU doing to help.#retweeting a donation link or someones random carrd doesnt do shit actually. performative armchair activism.#same ppl tweeting vapid shit while acting like theyre above engaging with me on this #i was venting about people qrting glenns old tweets with stupid shit because it was clogging my tl actually lol

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