#i dont know how much of a shit i am if at all i hate this situation i just want to pack my bags and move away | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

casually-slips-into-coma · 3 days

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spoilers for iwtv s2e4

my thoughts after a rewatch:

i know claudia hates the baby loves window play but she ate up that little song

the lulu role really is so humiliating :(

louis’ expressions whenever he watches these plays always kills me lmao he hates theater kids

louis and armand talking over each other to daniel

armands theater notes lol

claudia no eyebrow big eyeliner look is kinda cunty ngl

im a fan of sam the irish vampire

making claudia be lulu all the time oooh armand i hate u so bad

almost threw up watching louis and armand give different answers to the companion question IN FRONT OF THE COVEN that shit was so embarrassing

i wouldve kms if i was armand

vamp catfight

armand stuck in this situationship dont worry king we’ve all been there😔

literally telling each other i love you and still having the what are we conversation

“do you notice how hot the room gets when you two talk about the secret” plsssss

louis only able to use the fire gift when hes angry👀👀 gee i wonder if thats gonna come back👀👀👀👀👀

louis going🤨🤨 to the schizophrenia question like it came out of nowhere

armands face while louis talked about dreamstat why not just shoot me in the head

loving these dutch angles whenever daniel dissociates and gets an armand memory

santiago looks so good in the gold suit? robe thing??

claudia santiago friendship is killing me santiago i know what u are

claudia killing the guy singing baby lu

i like that you can tell claudias french has gotten better. nice small detail

i love scenes of louis and claudia just talking about non vampire things

santiago mimicking louis was pretty cool

buffoon sighting!!!

whole dinner scene bangs

the guy saying theres smth “fragile” about armand in the photo louis took and louis saying “no he’s anything but” and then the guy saying “you’ve captured the soul he hides” 🤌🤌

louis would never survive a 4 hour art school critique

daniel telling a girl he’d only do her if she had a paper bag over her head??????

claudeline truthers how are we feeling

context for the eating paper clip in the trailer

romeo!!

armand is so down bad its sick

madeline tailoring a yellow dress for claudia😟😟

the whole claudeline interaction was great

amadeo☹️🔫

MARIUS KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!!

the way armand talks about marius

MARIUS KILL YOURSELF x2!!!!!!

“no one has painted me in 400 years” fuck

madeline period blood moment. theres so much here about femininity and maturing might make a separate post about this scene

armand pinning claudia against a wall armand i hate you so bad

we already know that armand is powerful but seeing him choke and manhandle santiago really solidified that i think

picked another one over me!!

delainey is ACTINGGGGG

louis not believing claudia about armand ooooh louis i hate you so bad

love makes you stupid clock it

louis still referring to claudia as his daughter in his head (thru dreamstat)

louis just actively talking to himself girl do that in your head

park bench moment <3

“wanker” i giggled sorry

that suit is his favorite on him :(

“im a little wet” and armand instantly pulling out an umbrella, armand lighting his cigarette, armand calling him maitre

louis calling him arun and armand calling him maitre and then louis throwing away the lighter this fucking scene is cinematic art

the other coven members calling santiago maitre

i kinda like that daniel can hear them arguing from another room. i feel like its a very human experience? really domestic? even given the circumstances

armands eyes were never brown!!!

san francisco flashback episode might kill me im not kidding

insane way to end the episode

ok this was much longer than i thought it would be but this episode has a lot in it. each episode gets better and better and this is definitely my favorite of the season so far.

i am LOVING louis and armands relationship and also both of their story arcs and characterizations. their dynamic is kind of the opposite of what i, and i think a lot of other people, expected but it still makes total sense and im enjoying it a lot

god i love this show

#iwtv spoilers #interview with the vampire #vampterview #louis de pointe du lac #the vampire armand #loumand #iwtv s2e4

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sketchy-tour · 7 months

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While I scream into the void of not finishing any art, have this silly oc interaction of Dandy and Will cause Will's hands are huge and I couldn't stop thinking about how tiny he'd make Dandy's hands look in comparison.

Will Wayward belongs to the lovely @kandavers

#welcome home #welcome home puppet show #welcome home oc #welcome home original character #dandy leon #will wayward #sketches #my art #kandavers #Hey remember when I said I'd post some finished art before making yall look at my sketches again??? I LIED #Im sorry I've just been doodling so much instead of finishing shit #I've been drawing...a LOT of oc interactions #And I keep wanting to post them but they're ALL sketches #would you guys hate me if I was true to my name and sketched all the time???#lmao im kidding I know yall wouldnt hate me but I do feel kinda bad cause I love posting finished colored art #but I am also a man with little time because of work and sketching is how I relax #Maybe I'll sketch dump a lot of them so yall dont get spammed #this one gets its own post tho #dont ask me i dont make the rules

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turtletoria · 2 years

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a mask of my own face

#turtlearts #dr two brains #scopophobia #body horror #sharp objects #let me know if theres anything else that needs tagged!#anyways. thats supposed to be a mirror btw #also i tried so hard to fit a lot of symbolism and random shit into it. i am so willing to pick this drawing apart so if youd like that send #an ask or smth!!!!#for real i sank so many hours into this... it was supposed to be a simple colored sketch lmao #i just kept adding onto it for weeks and weeks. and all for what #looked up so many references and had to learn how to do things and tried out new brushes for this omg #like i need to emphasize that this was so hard to do and for what!!!! a silly little halloween spooky month drawing??!?!?!?!?!#even now when i look at it i hate it so much i want to keep adding things to it #i have to post it NOW or else i will be working on it for the rest of my life #pls give me nice words so i dont regret all the time i sank into this drawing </3 #if u think im fishing for complements and looking all the more pathetic and desperate for it. ur right </3 im sorry

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spider-man-2o99 · 10 months

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ok so apparently i can just never articulate my Deep Thoughts on purpose and can only do it by accident whilst rambling in the notes of a bookmark where the veneer of anonymity feels like a false-protective coat to hide behind, or somesuch-something like that. idk. anyways. anyways. i don't like how fucking mean-spirited across the spider-verse as a film seemingly is for literally no reason at all other than just bcuz it Could Be. y/k.

#talking tag #atsv #spider-man #spider-man 2099 #miguel o'hara #miles morales #suicide mention #suicide tw #& i am talking abt the Actual Textual Content of atsv btw not the Fandom Interpretation of it. bcuz those r 2 different things lmao.#every additional piece of context that we learn abt the behind-the-scenes too. it just. Sours this film to me. like drinking rotten milk #only ONE person outside of his family unconditionally supports miles. ONE. ONE!!!!!!!!!! the whole film!!!!#(obie obie broauwn i hate the AM i hate the PM u will live in my heart for ever)#and Knowing now how much the writers obviously didnt give a shit abt Mig.. it all just reads like that rotten any1 can wear the mask but yo #and that echoes in the narrative disdain for the one other spider-man in the whole movie whose origin is /like miles/.#who DID have a spider-man in his world who died before he got his powers who IS motivated by fear by wanting 2 be good but thinking he cant #You Cant Wear This Mask. The Only People Who Are Like You Actually LIKE You Are Twisted And Wrong And Warped Inevitably By That Wrongness.#Nobody Will Ever Understand What You Have Been Through And You Were Stupid And Naive To Ever Try Otherwise. You Petulant Child.#and the spider society treats miguel like shit like im honestly surprised that was just such a Casual Thing in the movie but no #they microaggress him 2 hell and back they insult him to his face they do not respect his boundaries they flat-out just Dont Respect Him #and he Takes It. of course he takes it. it is Literally All He Knows. taking it and hating himself and knowing that he is Different.#Christ almighty. what a shitshow.

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bunnihearted · 3 months

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🐁☁️🌫️

#sorry gnna sound like a shit person now but im not feeling well i just need to rant #nothing good ever happens to me. every aspect of my life is a mess. im constantly miserable w nothing to pull me out of it #it's been getting worse nd worse for years nd if it keeps getting worse im not gnna be able to take it much longer #ofc there are sooo many others who have it way way way worse than i do. so i feel weak nd pathetic for being so affected by it when i know #it could be literally sm worse than it is now. like i get that. i know im not nearly as bad off as many ppl are #but idk still it's rlly tough to have *nothing* that makes me keep going. the literal only thing is that i dont kms bc i dont wanna hurt mom #bc im poor so i cant do ANYTHING. i cant go anywhere. not the cinema not concerts not to the mall not to the bookstore not an amusent park #i cant even go to cafées bc i dont have any money at all to spend on that #i have no friends to hang out w. even if i couldnt afford going anywhere i cant even just take a walk or sit nd talk to them bc there r none #my sisters havent talked for me in over a year #and like yada yada i dont have anything to pull me out of my misery bubble. no friends to comfort me no family to hang out w #nothing to do or nowhere to go. hell i havent even been able to eat for 8 months so i cant even like eat smth yummy nd watch a movie lmao #i cant even read bc of the constant noise! i cant go out into the forest bc there r always subway construction work or choppers or gun shots #i know im 'focusing on the negative' but what am i supposed to do when theres nothing positive to focus on lol?????#im always physically uncomfortable bc of pain nd health issues nd im always anxious nd stressed too so like... yay #and. this is where i sound mean but like after years nd years of nothing good happening to me... idc for others anymore like #when they talk abt their loving relationships and their kind friends nd them going to concerts im like.. wow !! u get to be happy!! i dont!!#im just envious nd jealous nd bitter bc why cant i have ANYTHING good???? not just ONE fkn thing?#other ppl get to have multiple things but i get nothing?????#and its not exactly like i hate them or wish illwill on them im just like wow kinda dont feel sympathy for u bc u have sm things #i've never had :))) nd u can never understand how awful it feels to be deprived of it so idc :))))

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ditttiii · 4 months

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it's every single time i give myself a minute to breathe. a minute away from people, places, distractions, running away from my reality--when the heartbreak catches up and hits me. knocks my fucking breath out.

#as someone who's default has been for the longest time to love love love not being able to give it all the time actually makes me feel #like i am missing a part of me #its the weirdest most incredibly frustrating feeling to feel just slightly off kilter every single minute of the day and knowing u have #no choice but to ignore the oddness bcoz if u poke it its gonna all come crashing down #i hate having loved someone to the point where it was more than how much i loved myself coz now i m left #picking up the pieces they chose to leave behind and not knowing how to piece it all together #and it hurtshurtshurtshurts and never lessens and i can kiss someone else and still feel like a corpse inside #bcoz theres pieces missing that i gave away and that feeling of being incomplete just wont go away #trusting someone to love me forever might have been the stupidest thing i will ever do #and on bad days i think i deserved being left for the sheer stupidity of my life choices #istfg i m never loving again until a man puts a damn ring on my finger #so unbelievably fucking done with this shit #i wanna hate him but i cant and i wanna stop loving but i wont and i wanna feel full again but i dont #tw breakup #tw heartbreak

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munamania · 5 months

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i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there

#like. yeah i was bad last semester i get it. and probably i shouldve tried at least once or twice to push thru #but i was so exhausted. and every time they would bring up hanging out it was on my longest days #and when i casually brought this up they were just like Well we have long days too. Okay!#and i love and miss these friends and i know for the most part. or at least think. theyre just teasing #i hate being seen as the flake like any time i do have to be like Oh i cant make that or Shit im sorry i have to bail #i try to offer an alternative???? and they never compromise on that. how is that fair like im not just outright rejecting u all the time #not to mention most of the time last semester it was always gonna be somewhere super easy for them to get home and far from me #im not like constantly holding this against them btw but i feel like they're holding it against me and i dont have any more apologies in me #anyway. that said. if theyre somewhere really expensive and far from me tn and i get out of work early #i. probably will not make it. lol! if theyd be willing to come a little closer to my place to one of the dives or some shit thatd be great #and like im not doing much today until class and work so really like. i WILL try. but i think they could sometimes not go for the most #expensive and inconvenient option as well. and these r all things ill say if it becomes like a problem problem or smth #but rn im not gonna be a dickhead and shit on their plans #but also! ok whatever im not gonna keep going on i just feel shitty im not 100% better from being sick and im just frustrated #about having to fuckign grovel over and over and over. i meant it the first few times now im just like #u could try not to be an asshole to me for five seconds too. like. i am very clearly not someone trying to secretly stop being friends #w yall. things happen #abby talks #and maybe this is an esp sore spot bc like ive certainly had some of you bail on me or be flaky or whatever before. and i didnt throw #a fucking fit to your face about it. probably bc it actually did feel more mean spirited sometimes #OK im sorry im not trying to make my friends sound evil and its mostly just the one and like im working on forgiving her for it cause it #was years ago but also like christ!

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ballerinalouis · 3 months

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so much to blame the mcu for so little time

#and i dont even know about all the reasons marvel ppl hate marvel #currently im blaming them for the atla series being peak netflix mediocrity #theyre like my ronald reagan #its just like netflix clearly didnt give a shit how that show turned out #bc they knew people would watch it no matter what and then binge the og series to compare bc its a ~beloved franchise~#i am not immune!!#but i think if we dont raise our standards they are just going to keep feeding us weird cafeteria slop #like ok yeah i guess that is technically food #anyway there is so much i should be doing

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keirawantstocry · 3 months

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#i have multiple discord servers for vent shit but unfortanely my sister is on all of them and i dont wanna bother her so #yeah everyone ignore this i just need to fucking explode #my mother is pissing me off so fucking much rn #she never shuts the fuck up #only cares about her own damn fucking problems #shes going on about how she cant find a book and she needs my help and im like mom #i just spilled water on my laptop can you stfu #and you know what she fucking says?#well maybe if you didnt always hide in your room with your computer #first of all im a fucking adult and istg once i have enough money im blowing this fucking stand in a heartbeat #and second of al #I WAS OUTSIDE #BECAUSE FOR ONCE IN MY FUCKING LIFE I WAS TRYING TO GET SOME FRESH AIR #IM SICK OF BEING INSIDE #BUT WHEN I GO OUTSIDE SHE CAN COME TO ME WHICH I HATE MORE #so i try to go outside for once and what does it fucking get me #well the fucking water on my computer and audio issues #which thank God i fixed but ugh am i still pissed the fuck off #and my fucking “best friend” can barely give me the fucking time of day #leaves me on delivered for days at a time #and then straight up ignores my questions and wont fucking talk to me #but oh they'll call me randomly if they need my help #like is that all i fucking am to you?#UGH #trying to breathe #im going to put on headphones and writing gay fanfiction that always cheers me up

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limielle · 8 months

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idk i feel like so much discourse could be easily minimized if people learned to say "i think" instead of "it is"

#like “i think this is a bad game” is way less abrasive/aggressive than “this is a bad game”#do u know where im going w this like #it's literally 2 extra words and it could avoid like 99% of confrontation #ofc there would still be people who are like “omg how can u hate smth i like ur trash” but idk i feel like so much of this discourse u see #on twt especially #is like ? just people being deliberately aggressive abt stuff they dont like to antagonise others and then going “its just my opinion”#and it's hard to read tone online so it's often hard for me (and im sure for others ?? idk actually) to read whether or not sm1 is being #like. just sharing what they think vs them trying to bait out people who will defend smth they like #idk ive been trying to find ffxiv people to follow bc getting back into the game and finally being confident in my art to draw for it also #has me looking for ppl to follow but i wanna avoid the big livetweet first time experiencers and unfortunately that leaves #a lot of people who are afraid of dawntrail/unhappy with the current patch quests #of which i am neither and i also dont want to log on to the internet every day just to see ppl shitting on things u know ?#and i have seen a LOT of like #'x sucked' and 'fandom lacks critical reading skills' and whatnot #but then u see what theyre talking abt and all theyre doing is shitting on the game itself or going 'x expansion was mid'#like . if u stopped phrasing ur opinions as objective fact i feel like maybe ud avoid half those arguments id k???#just words #SORRY im talkative today the truth is i worked on a drawing veyr hard and i do not have the strength to colour it but it will not look good #without colour and i feel like i cant move on without it so i went and replayed shadowbringers instead and cried a lot #and now i have lots of icarus feelings again #WOW loiok at me writing an essay out here i overshare so much im sorry

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devilzfruit · 3 days

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damn living here really does suck

#logbook #'going to a block party!!' its the neighborhood block party. not invited.#i hate having to park across the street bc they arent leaving space anymore. and oh you can tell us to move. why dont you just move then??@!#my room is an absolute living hell and mess. i dont even know how to begin to organize it i'll probably just. throw stuff together and cart #it over once we're approved.#and then last night it was like. lets go to a karaoke night! our dog has separation anxiety and abandonment issues and barks and whines the #whole time we're gone but we're not home so its fine. . .except its almost 10 at night and we have a roommate. but fuck our roommate.#if i start sleeping at rents it feels like im giving in but. i feel like im going crazy and asking for too much to be like. hey man.#im a person here too. 'csn you handle the dog while we're gone to a block party' SO ITS MY FUCKING FAULT?? IM A CHILD NOW?#my whole room at rents is taken over by all their shit but i really am tempted to just. only come back here to pack and couch surf.#im just going to be told this is how it is now and 'so you dont want to be friends'? lord help me #if i didnt have jael i wouldnt be so concerned. or the plants. but i have both so i have to come by frequently enough to care for them.

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hellofears · 18 days

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having issues with men, the associations the instant distrust, which i dont like i dont want it i want things to be different, just all of it so much just the dynamic i have the relationship all of it the way the world is atleast online and having a younger brother. I wouldn't trade him for the world, I try and talk to him where I can and will continue to do so i adore him but i fear. i believe in him i want joy for him. I fear that his peers will feed him fckn brainrot and it scares me. not even just that he'll fall into that thinking that his fuckn upstanding that his unwillingness to follow ppl will hurt him. crazy shit at schools, like why tf r ppl dying kids young teens killing eaachother with knives? ??I don't want to loose him i don't want to see him loose who he is and the heart that he has i don't and i hope he rises above it all and will continue to. i feel like im stating what he has to be or smth but all i could ask for is his wellbeing, respect, humanity, that he treats himself well know what he deserves and has some sense of self, some gravity. I feel like shit sometimes for this aspect that i'm concerned that i just idk, i dont like the whole 'dont disappoint me' thing he owes nothing to me other than basic human decency and respect, hes a reason why i live but to i just that intrusive thought of there is no different the hell u think of is real about men to someone i hold so fckn dear to in a way show me their fckn fuckery its idk, like another? it'd hurt me, it'd hurt me bad.

i've never understood men or boys, amab, who go on about their connection or like protectiveness of their sisters of their mother but treat other women like shit like their familiars aren't women? you don't want to fuck them so its different? what is it like just whats the difference why does it have to pertain to you for you to care? do you care or do you see them as an extension? is it a personality trait for you? a 'lover boy' thing? a signal to women, women u imagine u want and is going to be 'ur woman' but u cant even like visualize them in a way that doesnt pertain to your sexual interests? a signal so people can say oh he loves his mother so hes good to go and prime? a 'mummys boy' ? are they not real women just because u dont feel that sort of way? talking about women that way with your friends? do i have to bring up the fact those same people could date your sister etc for you to care? those people could make the kids that surround your kids, your daughter. idk.

its like okay u want sex so u respect them less? did no one hear dont bite the hand that feeds you? what the fuck is going on. you cant fuck them so its all good? the demeaning-ness? lack of gravity, venom is just rapid, vapid