i dont even consider myself a 'veteran' wyll fan considering i just played the game on release and not EA but so many fans of bg3 didn't even consider or look Wyll's way until Wyll fans got loud enough but like. the way he's acknowledged now (even as minimal as it is) vs the first few months post release really is jarring

Billboard #1s 1976

Under the cut.

Bay City Rollers – “Saturday Night” -- January 3, 1976

They prove they can spell Saturday a lot. Anyway, he's going out to dance with his girl on Saturday night. The song is bouncy to a fault -- I feel like the repetitive, samey beat is following one of those balls the mind-controlled kids bounced in A Wrinkle in Time. It sounds like a cheerleading chant. Something to do aerobics to, not to dance to.

C.W. McCall – “Convoy” -- January 10, 1976

So, besides the cb radio fad, 1976 was also the year of the OPEC oil crisis and basically, it seems the reason truckers became folk heroes evading The Man in popular consciousness had its roots in international relations. Anyway, it's a baritone story song, but about truckers instead of cowboys. I like the verse, "Well, we shot the line and we went for broke/ With a thousand screamin' trucks/ An' eleven long-haired Friends o' Jesus/ In a chartreuse micro-bus." It's a silly song with a lot of trucker lingo (or fake trucker lingo, idk), and I don't exactly dislike it, but I'm not gonna listen to it again either.

Barry Manilow – “I Write The Songs” -- January 17, 1976

It's obvious from the first lines "I've been alive forever/ And I wrote the very first songs" that Barry's not singing about himself. It turns out "music" wrote the all the songs. Except that's obnoxious too. People wrote the songs. Also possibly birds, but definitely people. And it's musical goo.

Diana Ross – “Theme From Mahogany (Do You Know Where You’re Going To)” -- January 24, 1976

It's a song about regretting letting an ex go, and probably more. There's a ton of orchestration that sounds like it belongs in a lightweight movie, and Diana Ross doesn't put much emotion into it. It is a thoughtful song, rather than one calling for melodrama, but I would like to hear some emotion here, and I am not getting it. A trifle light as air.

Ohio Players – “Love Rollercoaster” -- January 31, 1976

It's a funk/disco thing. I've listened to it three times trying to get anything from it at all. The lyrics are dumb, asserting love is like this or that amusement park experience. I'd think "love rollercoaster" would be about how there are huge highs and terrifying lows, but it's not. It's horribly repetitive. I guess it's danceable. But I find it dull.

Paul Simon – “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover” -- February 7, 1976

I love how pared down this song is. It's sort of funky, without all the funk orchestration. The simple drums are the main focus. The melody's also simple, without being dull. And the lyrics aren't complex; a woman is encouraging the narrator to leave his official lover for her. "Just get yourself free." But she's doing it so very nicely -- "I wish there were something I could do to make you smile again." Not that the song expects us to believe she or the narrator actually are nice. Or that it's really all that easy to leave your lover. But it doesn't tell you what to think about the situation either. An excellent song.

Rhythm Heritage – “Theme From S.W.A.T.“ -- February 28, 1976

Apparently, there was a TV show about S.W.A.T., and this was its instrumental theme song. Which is exactly what it sounds like. Not a good TV theme either. I looked up 1976 shows, and here are some shows with better TV themes from that year: Charlie's Angels, Alice, M*A*S*H, Happy Days (which surprisingly only hit #5), All in the Family, Barney Miller, Welcome Back Kotter (which hit #1 later), The Jeffersons (that Movin' On Up doesn't seem to have been a hit is shocking), The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Sanford and Son, The Bob Newhart Show... look, all of them. All shows in 1976 that I can find had better theme songs than S.W.A.T., often to a staggering degree. But songs don't reach #1 for being good. Still, usually I can hazard a reason for them. I can't for this one.

The Four Seasons – “December, 1963 (Oh, What A Night)” -- March 13, 1976

It's about the narrator getting laid for the first time. He didn't even know the name of the woman, which completely undercuts anything happy or fun about this song for me, and makes it icky. At least it's not falsetto. I wasn't born when it came out, yet it was overplayed on the oldies stations in the 90s so much that I developed a deep and abiding hatred for it.

Johnnie Taylor – “Disco Lady” -- April 3, 1976

This is a song about disco that isn't a disco song. As such, it confuses me. It's kind of a mild funk/soul song, and it's about how turned on this guy is watching a woman disco. Johnnie Taylor can definitely sing, and I'd like to hear some more traditional soul/jazz stuff from him. This isn't doing it for me.

The Bellamy Brothers – “Let Your Love Flow” -- May 1, 1976

I saw the title and immediately the song shoved itself into my head. It's such a mellow song, but the hook is still monstrous. The song is about how it's the season for love, so grab your lover and "let your love flow." It's one of many 70s songs about sex that sounds like it could be a song about how pretty trees are. It kind of is about how pretty trees are too. I rather like it.

John Sebastian – “Welcome Back” -- May 8, 1976

Welcome Back, Kotter was not on Nick at Nite or WGN or anything else that ran old TV shows when I was watching TV (rather than the internet), so I've never seen it. The theme song lays it all out -- someone moves back to his old neighborhood, where they need him. As TV theme songs go, it's fine. Just fine, though. When "Movin' On Up" and "Love Is All Around" were also theme songs for TV shows in 1976, why this one? The rewards of mediocrity I guess.

The Sylvers – “Boogie Fever” -- May 15, 1976

It's literal. You come in contact with someone who can't stop boogie-ing, and you will catch the Boogie Fever yourself. Listening to the song will certainly make you want to boogie, unless you are immune. A fun dance song, and I wouldn't be surprised if Tik-Tok made it a hit again in the next year.

Wings – “Silly Love Songs” -- May 22, 1976

"Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs / What’s wrong with that?" Nothing.  Paul even emphasizes something important in it: "Love isn't silly at all." Still, I can't say it's one of my favorites. I get tired of it about halfway through, and it's a long song. A silly love song shouldn't be nearly 6 minutes long.

Diana Ross – “Love Hangover” -- May 29, 1976

It starts with Diana Ross making sex sounds that I find embarrassing. Then she goes into singing about how she doesn't want to get over "the sweetest love hangover", and a minute and a half in it becomes a disco song. I find the entire thing irritating.

Starland Vocal Band – “Afternoon Delight” -- July 10, 1976

"Afternoon delight" is sex, but these doofuses may as well be singing about tea and scones for all the excitement this song has. It still doesn't deserve the hatred it's gotten. But it's not good either. The number of sexless sex songs in the 70s is just... ugh.

The Manhattans – “Kiss And Say Goodbye” -- July 24, 1976

He has to break up with the person he's been cheating with. It's an achingly sad Philly soul song. It also manages to be way sexier than the vast majority of 70s sex songs. Real emotion (or the ability to fake real emotion) does a lot, as does being able to sing like this. And beautiful backing music. It's so sad, and so good.

Elton John & Kiki Dee – “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” -- August 7, 1976

This song isn't mutual. Elton John's the one who sings "don't go breaking my heart," and Kiki Dee's the one singing "I won't go breaking your heart." It is all and entirely and completely about the male character's feelings. Of course it's an Elton John song so I wouldn't like it anyway, but I really don't like this one, especially because it still gets airplay.

Bee Gees – “You Should Be Dancing” -- September 4, 1976

I hate the Bee Gees. Not on a personal level -- as far as I know they're perfectly decent people -- but their music. And I have a particular hatred for Barry Gibb's voice. His horrible falsetto has caused me immense pain in my life. If I should be dancing, then they need to shut up and sit down and let a band that I can dance to take the stage. As it is, I feel like a dog during the 4th of July; I just want to hide under a bed.

KC & The Sunshine Band – “(Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty” -- September 11, 1976

Here's a command to dance that I can get behind. Or that my behind can get behind. Again, a great song for dancing but not for listening to from KC & The Sunshine Band.

Wild Cherry – “Play That Funky Music” -- September 18, 1976

Good for both dancing and listening. How you can listen and not get into that funk groove even when sitting, though, I don't know. Play that funky music till you die.

Walter Murphy & The Big Apple Band – “A Fifth Of Beethoven” -- October 9, 1976

This was the #1 hit the week I was born. It's a good one for me; it's by a guy who loved classical music enough to write contemporary music based on it. Whenever I'm faced with questions about what kind of music is my favorite, my answer is "the good kind." Anyway, this is a fun song.

Rick Dees And His Cast Of Idiots – “Disco Duck (Part 1)” -- October 16, 1976

Billboard used to base their hit songs on calling record stores and asking what was selling. I think that's how this stupid, stupid song reached number one. I think it was a prank by a bunch of stoned college kids who co-ordinated it over cb radio or something. It's about a duck. Who discos. With an obnoxious voice and obnoxious music. It's by a radio dj, and is as painfully unfunny as radio djs usually are.

Chicago – “If You Leave Me Now” -- October 23, 1976

This song makes me have a weird reaction. It gives me the warm, comfortable fuzzies, and makes me want to sleep. That last part might not be too surprising, as it is a soft song, but to me it is very much more than that. I have always had trouble sleeping at night, since birth. My parents hit on putting me into the car and driving around with soft music playing to get me to go lights out. I need to ask them if they played Chicago during that. I can't think of any other reason for my hindbrain association with this szzzzzzz....

Steve Miller Band – “Rock’n Me” -- November 6, 1976

Good bar rock, since it's the Steve Miller Band. Lyrically, it's also more complex than most of its genre. At first, he sings "I got to please my sweet baby, yeah." Then he starts singing about all the places he's been, including "Northern California where the girls are warm." And then "Babe, you know you are a friend of mine/ And you know that it's true/ That all the things that I do/ Are gonna come back to you in your sweet time." Well then. I can totally see @katatty's Duncan Huckleberry singing this song. And getting away with everything. It's a fun song, though (because?) the narrator is likely a dirtbag.

Rod Stewart – “Tonight’s The Night (Gonna Be Alright)” -- November 13, 1976

It's a sex song, and it is hugely skeevy. "Don't deny your man's desire/ You’d be a fool to stop this tide / Spread your wings and let me come inside." No, asshole, cover it up if you want to come near. And how about if you want her, you care something about her desire? This was a huge hit from a huge star, but I have never heard it until now. Ugh. I need to shower, this is gross. Also I hope whoever he's singing to is packing mace.

BEST OF 1976 -- "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover." I don't even think it's an amazing song, just a very good one, but the 1976 #1s don't leave me much to work with. Fleetwood Mac released some singles, but people wanted "Disco Duck" rather than "Over My Head." Tons of great music has survived from 1976, but most of it is not on this list. WORST OF 1976 -- "Tonight's the Night (Gonna Be Alright)". "Disco Duck" is stupid, but it doesn't make my skin crawl.

Archive Project - September 2, 2014 - Best Summer Movies 2014

2014 has been a really solid summer for quality Blockbuster movies! Lots of really compelling and fun stuff has graced our local theaters and i'd like to talk about my favorite ones! For the sake of the point though, i'm only going to include "Summer" movies. A Most Wanted Man would easily break this list but its not really a summer movie, its an independent movie for film geeks that can tolerate slow as molasses pacing (like me!!). Here we go! My top six movies of the summer (which for technical purposes includes only movies that released between May to August)!!! But first, some honorable mentions: 22 Jump Street Godzilla Neighbors Fault in Our Stars DragonBall Z: Battle of Gods And now... 6. X-Men: Days of Future Past The newest X-Men movie is an extremely flawed movie, but at the time I really didn't give it what it deserved. After seeing it again, i've come to terms with just how compelling and fun the newest iteration is, even after 17 years of this annoying and convoluted continuity. In any case it easily breaks the top 3 X-Men movies we've had so far and its made me excited for the next movie! Cheers to Apocalypse! 5. How to Train Your Dragon 2 The Dragon movies are such a weird force in modern filmmaking. What seem on the surface like a series of cliche Dreamworks movies have become some of the most claimed and exciting animated films since Pixar fell into it's unfortunate coma. Its not quite as grand as The LEGO Movie in my eyes (because few movies are…), but for being an exciting, visually fantastic and very well written and compelling story, How to Train Your Dragon 2 earns my 5th best!   4. Edge of Tomorrow Like or hate Tom Cruise, this movie is the perfect Tom Cruise movie. If you don't like him, enjoy watching him die hundreds of times in awesome, hilarious ways! If you do like Cruise, prepare to enjoy a surprisingly well written, well conceived action movie. Despite the, "I've seen this before" style of the visuals, the characters in Edge of Tomorrow are fantastically written and relatable. I can't recommend this movie enough! Mainly because almost nobody saw it… oh well, it comes out on DVD in October! Definitely check it out then! SUPPORT GOOD MOVIES PEOPLE!!! 3. Guardians of the Galaxy Guardians has been my most anticipated movie this summer and it hasn't disappointed me! Few movies that come out nowadays are filled with the kind of fun and creativity that Marvel's newest ego boost has brought to the world. Great comedy! Fully realized worlds and a sci-fi action movie that might actually be the best Star Wars movie since Return of the Jedi! If you still haven't seen this movie for some reason… prepare to meet my FISTSS.. <Disclaimer, writer is extremely passionate in regards to the proceeding movie. Do not take threats literally.>   2. Snow Piercer This summer's out of left field hit for me was a little Korean sci-fi flick by the name of Snow Piercer… AND IT IS AWESOME!! In the near future, humanity is destroyed by an ice age and the few remaining survivors are left alive on an Ark-like train that circumnavigates the glove once a year. Whats left of humanity is forceable segregated between the rich first class riders and the poor people living in the back of the train. Now Captain America and the War Doctor must team up to revolt against the social injustice of the train… GEE!! I THINK THE MOVIE IS TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING!!! If you can't get over the liberal wankfest self congratulatory thats running amuck in this movie I can get why you wouldn't like it but thankfully i've seen Elysium a few times so it doesn't work on me anymore. Snow Piercer is a ridiculous, awesome action movie that puts to shame most American movies we've gotten this summer. If your a fan of movies, definitely give this one a rental! 1. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes And this summer's best, most emotionally impactful, most well made and exciting movie goes to the movie with the most ridiculous title! Dawn is a powerful sequel to Rise of the Planet of the Apes and carries the story to new heights! With a powerful, emotional lead performance by Andy Kircus (Gollum, Kong), the movie about apes with long stretches of no dialog and extreme amounts of CGI is one of the most emotionally compelling and tense movies all summer. Its like watching the fuse to a bomb ignite and burn its way to the end, with the movie's final confrontation being surprisingly insightful. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is the best movie that Summer 2014 had to offer! And now for some good contrast, here are my least favorite movies of the summer.   4. The Rover The Rover isn't a bad movie, not at all. What it is is a movie that made me horribly frustrated and upset. I've seen plenty of downer movies, ones that aren't meant to give you a happy feeling. No movie i've ever seen though has left me feeling as bleak as this movie did. I don't think I was even able to give this movie a review, just because of how emotional I was after seeing it. This movie isn't bad, but its one of my least favorite things i've seen this entire summer and I don't feel compelled to give it a fair analysis. 3. TMNT I don't hate TMNT. TMNT is naively lame and horribly constructed and it feels like a movie made by people that don't know how to make a movie. I've seen much worse this summer but no movie I saw had me laughing at huge chunks of it for being lame. The characters for the most part don't work, aren't really well conceived and Michalanglo was a pervert for some reason. TMNT is a hilariously bad movie that can't reach the legacy of its surprisingly well made predecessors from the '90s. 2. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Yah, I'm going there… I really didn't like this movie. Spider-Man has never been one of my favorite superheroes but I grew up with the Sam Raimi films, and having reviewed them before seeing this movie, i've come to the conclusion that they were infinitely better. Even Spider-Man 3, yah! I'll go THERE!! That movie had great moments mixed into a pot of mediocrity. Remember the birth of the Sand-Man? MAN TEARS DUDE!!! AS2 didn't have anything that good. AS2 is a long, boring movie with no central story! It doesn't understand the character of Peter Parker in any meaningful way and the whole production feels as corporate and cynical as any movie i've ever seen, and I gave Transformers 4 a positive review… If you honestly liked this movie, i'm not going to argue with you. I can basically understand why people liked it. I merely disagree with you. 1. Persecuted You probably didn't hear about this movie, GOOD FOR YOU!!! Persecuted is the WORST Christian movie i've ever seen. I really like the genre and i'm always willing to give it another chance. Every once in a while they come up with something sweet like I'm In Love With A Church Girl that feels sincere and sweet, and i'm willing to wade my way through all the Son of Gods and Black Nativitys to find them! But Persecuted doesn't just fail as a film, it wastes a really powerful concept. We live in an ever changing world, where concepts like religion and faith are slowly being marginalized and a lot of people within these communities fear the possibility of persecution. Persecuted had the power to be something great, a movie about being persecuted for faith at the hands of ones government and the personal challenge of having to stay convicted to ones beliefs no matter what. Instead what we got was a wannabe action movie with inconsistent characters whose actions don't seem human, with a plot that doesn't quite mean anything beyond paranoid jabs at progressivism. YOU DROPPED THE BALL Persecuted! You could've meant something to people and you couldn't do any of it right! Persecuted is the worst movie of the summer! Now, with that all out of my system, lets look forward! I'll post my thoughts on this fall's upcoming movie releases as soon as I can! Till then, avoid November Man… Its looks awful… Thank you for reading! Live Long And Prosper!

january: new beginnings! to be honest, january always feels a little wack to me. maybe because of how there are no holidays but it’s still cold and rainy and you’re expected to be productive. but I do like the blank slate of a new year. maybe you think that’s bullshit but fresh starts are comforting to me. the first of every month sends a little thrill down my spine. january is for smoothie bowls, even though it’s cold.

february: also not crazy about february, because of the aforementioned cold, although there are a handful of warmer days thrown in, tempting you with the promise of spring. I kinda like valentine’s day even though I’ve never had a boyfriend. in college every year I’ve bought a big ass bag of lollipops from CVS and passed them out to friends and strangers alike. I feel like cupid. it’s fun. february is for candy, as a result.

march: march is just LOVELY. daylight saving time starts!! and the sun comes back till late!!! ARE YOU KIDDING??!?! I LIVE for that shit. march is usually kind of stressful for me, because I always start having a lot of stuff going on, but it’s invigorating! I have to make schedules and stick to them! and now it’s easier because my beautiful girlfriend the SUN is BACK! my dad and my little brother have birthdays, the first birthdays of the calendar year in my family. that’s always fun too. march is for artisan sandwiches, in my humble opinion. go to a hipster cafe and get a sandwich with weird delicious stuff on it.

april: I don’t know why, but I LOVE april. every year I have some weird dramatic exciting shit happen in april. plus the weather is fully in spring mode. I always feel like the year is finally coming into itself in april, like I know what the vibe is. once I graduate, I definitely want to start traveling in aprils. what a dream, seeing the whole world aglow with soft new light. april is for cookies. am I right?!

may: may is pretty solid. great weather, my older brother’s birthday. the end of the semester, although this is my last one (eek!). mays feel like sundays to me (so do augusts, for some reason). they’re a little lazy, a little nostalgic. the last two years I’ve traveled with my dad in may, to quirky cities--amsterdam last year and lisbon the year before. may seems like the time for long walks and sparkling wine.

june: june makes me sad. the gloom comes back to roost and I always feel restless. I need to start scheduling my junes, because otherwise they just pass me by without me doing anything. june feels itchy, like a sweater that looks good but every time you wear it you can’t wait to take it off. june is a rainy friday, things are good but an undercurrent of melancholy runs through that you can’t quite shake. june is about tacos and guacamole. don’t ask me why, just DO IT.

july: july is great! july is always productive for me, and I thrive in the full summer heat. I always exercise a lot in july. I cook more and enjoy all food more, lots of banana pancakes and green smoothies and colorful salads and ice cream cones. I lay outside and read, during long afternoons or late nights when the moon finally creeps all the way out. I can be persuaded to swim if I don’t have to stress too much about my hair. I usually see my friends after hibernating for a while.

august: augusts, as I said, sort of feel like sundays. perhaps this feeling will go away now that I don’t have to go back to school this august (WTF I’M NOT READY). by august the heat I loved in july has become oppressive. august is my mother’s birthday. august gives me anxiety up until then, when leo season is finally ending and my beloved virgo season makes her grand, always-punctual entrance. the end of august will always have that january energy for me, even though I won’t be in school anymore. in august I crave fresh tropical fruit, maybe because I can feel the season for it slipping away.

september: my birthday month! I love the first half of september, but then it just starts feeling endless. it’s supposed to be fall but it’s still hot as balls. september is for organizing and drinking lots of iced lattes and catching up with friends, old and new. september is for wacky cocktails, too. I’m not sure why.

october: I love october! for some reason, crazy stuff always happens to me in october. I have come around to enjoying halloween. usually october in LA is still brutally hot, but we get a few cool days for good measure. those days I break out my sweaters and really soak in the possibility of a real autumn. october is about tea and baked goods.

november: november is another slightly sad month that I still enjoy. it finally cools down for real out here and I am once again overwhelmed by a sudden need for productivity, but I just kind of lean into it. if I haven’t gotten sick yet during the year, this is when it happens. I don’t actually like thanksgiving all that much, but I love my family, so I’m always glad we sit around eating together. november is for pizza, although pizza fits every season just fine.

december: recently december has become a somewhat climactic month for me, with twist endings for the year thrown in without much notice. december is for festive drinks from starbucks and for waffles, especially chocolate chip ones. december always naturally makes me quite contemplative. december asks the tough questions. did you do what you said you would do? does it matter? how are you different than you were a year ago? how are you better? not stronger-faster-smarter, but how are you kinder? how are you wiser? how are you a little easier on yourself?

Monthly Thoughts 2017

December 2017

Déjà Vu Déjà Vu

There are theories of déjà vu: a warning, a sign, lack of vitamins, a glitch in the matrix. Either way, I get them constantly and highly believe they are a sign, I just have no idea what for.

Listening to a podcast (one of my favorite things right now) called rabbits (which I highly recommend). Anyway, it talked about the way that there are things constantly repeating. Always hearing the same song, keep seeing the name of a similar street so on,  were checkpoints in the game of life. I absolutely loved that idea because it´s completely different from what it feels like, which is being in a rut.

Similar to Déja Vu, you can only really trust yourself. Repeated events could be a metaphorical key such as a video game that helps you discover new worlds.

November 2017

Horoscopes & Signs

I read my horoscope, usually, when I'm uncertain - will my choices help me out? Am I making the right decision for a better future? Is my luck going to stay the same?

Is it easy to make good decisions? -no, is it easy making bad decisions? -yes. Is it easy to know the difference? -almost impossible. We seek help, so we find religion, clubs, friends, guides, therapy that fit our predetermined thinking.

Horoscopes. I kept a clipping in specific that stated that in may I would have a kid - the same year/month my baby was born. I just think of the process with the publisher - really? it needs to be more general, so people can identify more. and the writer was determined that all Leos would have children.

I kept it, and constantly check out my horoscope even though when I don´t even believe in the calendar, it doesn't make sense. Why isn´t it better 13 months that divide almost perfectly into 28 days? Better all around, but no, its randomly divided days in 12 months. So if I don´t believe in a calendar, how can I believe in horoscopes- I think its a sign from the universe.

October 2017

Dogs

In Mexico, dogs are very important.

In the city they are considered family, you get them everything you think they might need to be happy and safe.

In little towns, they are mostly considered as protection.

In the last big earthquake 19S, they are considered heroes.

I have had dogs before, but never to the extent of loving them so much.

When you have kids they are great, its a way to teach them big things in a simpler cuter note:

-even though you mess up, I'll still love you.

-you need to be firm for their own good

-just cause you can't be with them all the time it doesn´t mean you don´t love them.

-and other types of stuff like the birds and the bees when you have to take them to the vet and such.

My dogs love us and would protect us from anything. Which is also nice.

Seeing the world be more and more into animals, also is a way of accepting that we are not the center of the universe. We are in all of this together.

September 2017

Earthquake

It´s been two days since the earthquake, I think I'm finally coming out of the shock. I every now and then feel like crying. Up to now, all I  have done is reposted things. It´s taking me a while to feel, whatever I'm feeling.

I'm heartbroken and sad, and scared and still, I can't believe that has happened.

What has been the silver lining is that each day, more and more people are realizing that they are the change. Not the government.

There were some people trying to take advantage of the situation, but the numbers of the good heavily outweighed those of the bad.

There are true heroes, humans, and dogs in this city that the only thing that was needed was the same community that made the advances possible.

Our moral compass // humanity outweighed any other element that could have gotten in the way.

If only that is how we kept on living, helping each other, and of course why not, accepting help from others.

The heroes were people that would help move parts of the fallen buildings, doctors giving free treatment, donations up to where the eye could see, blood donators, so on.

Before that the unseen heroes were/are the ones that made sure that the buildings that were up to protocol despite if there was a law or not defending it. Companies that would do the emergency drills not only the ones by law but to really make sure everyone would be ready.

Making sure the companies that could help were available for business for when this happened and trusting them to be there for just these type of situations. (all the restaurants, big and street vendors, tool stores big and small, vets, doctors, etc)

We are our government

we vote with what we consume.

August 2017

Tests

I find tests absolutely useless.

In no part of life, you have to remember anything. Especially now.

You do have to know how to use the information given to you.

It stresses you, and the worst part is - you most likely will forget everything sooner than later.

How to prove if someone did learn? Trial and error, and repeat till you have the best response.

Trick tests questions are the worst - double negatives, always and never - not the full truth.

They don´t help at all. Its as if every single test is really just an English (or whatever language the test is) test.

For me tests are obsolete. They don´t help out, and they create people that can't think, just follow.

It´s amazing how far apart school ways and working ways are. School, after all, should prepare you for work. Not be like another job.

It should make you better - it should prepare you for what's up ahead.

Tests are easily manipulated, this school has a great test score, not focusing on what was learned.

When I got to Mexico, I saw that school was definitely much more advanced than school in the states, meanwhile since the test scores were higher in one part of the world that is what calculated the effectivity of the school. Unless you lived the two you can come to questions the difficulty level of what the test was based on.

The battle from quantitive vs qualitative is a forever struggle. Being how do you quantify something that is intangible. How do you measure the quality of something? with tests, will you use those test to have a manipulated outcome, or to really know the answer?

Seems to me, it's all been manipulated with no long-term thinking, and we are all living the consequences.

July 2017

Worldly world

I love watching stuff like Master Of None and seeing how the world gets worldlier, when go-to Italy, they speak Italian.

You see various type of lives and religions and ways of thinking coexist.

It's a new world of people, all of us that aren't from here or they're just a mix, that appreciate a bit of it all.

I may speak Spanish or English - no threat.

I can be urban or serious.

Go to museums and shop.

No this or that, but a mix of everything.

Letting other people know of this beforehand so it is not to be confused with arrogance, or mistrust but just different.

June 2017

Getting to know all about you

It´s been a while, but the time has come to feel that I get myself.

My likes, my dislikes, why I do things when I can say no.  Confidence to take feedback, confidence to stand my ground.

Hope for tomorrow and that everything comes for a reason, which is part of my beliefs.

Pressure and motivation to give my kid a better life. The Calmness of getting here so far and fear of not getting further.

Ease to know that what was meant to come will, so I can relax a bit, rest and think instead of getting into a nervous overdrive.

Imagining all I would change if I could know all I know when I was 10. Mostly talking to people to help them not make such downward spiral decisions that started so young.

Worry less, no "diets" more exercise. Learn more. Let go at the right time, not get caught up in the trends. pretty much sums it up.

Trust yourself, cause maybe, just maybe you're the one that planned out your life anyway.

May 2017

Disconnected.

Each time I spend less and less time online for personal purposes. I don´t have my personal social media on my phone. I work quite a lot so when I´m connected, it's for something else.

I catch up every now and then, a way to let my mind wander, but it´s not really real-time thoughts. More like a documentary of what's been going on. A way to prove that I thought of this first.

Me time, I can say, disconnected to enjoy the moment and connected to remember those times.

Documentary half uploaded and half edited but enough to remember and so people can maybe learn from my thought process.

April 2017

Shop your vote

It´s been over a year that I have been buying things only made in Mexico, which makes me find out of more and more brands that are so awesome.

Plus the benefits that it´s rare that someone else has the same outfit/design/whatever you do.

It makes me feel special and somewhat superior knowing I can find the treasure where most people don´t look.

Ahead of my time, and some sort of control of helping my country become a better place, purchase by purchase.

It also helps me control my spending, being that my things have to fit various criteria: Not harmful to animals, Mexican, Make with quality.

One day, these brands can be worldwide, and I can say I had them when.

March 2017

Pets

I highly recommend having pets, not just having them, but making them part of the family.

They care for you and they make you learn simple stuff.

It´s quite impressive how my pets get me more than at least 90% of the people I know. Without speaking a word. It´s lovely.

They teach us and the people they live with some of life's difficult conversation starters, without the words.

I truly enjoy not talking, gets in the way, and it gets misunderstood way too easy.

The more you grow, the more you realize that people understand and hear what they want, from what they have gone on - nothing to do with whatever you might say or do.

You have to take things as they come - from what people think and what they have learned.

You can see that in bullies, of how their family life treats them. That´s what they are used to.

Pets don´t have that baggage and if they do, they get rid of it quite quickly.

Simple and sweet.

February 2017

Grateful

Every day, more and more, I feel more grateful.

It´s sad to see how many people live, and the things they have to go through.

I´m lucky to say I have my health (at least my urgent visits to the doctor are less and less). I have the gift of learning, where I can not only learn, but apply everything to everything.

I have my needs met, and I feel satisfied with my life.

How, in the world, and this is how this -JDV- started, can we get more people to live this way. A better education, a chance, a helping hand, trust, whatever it is, I know it is not one man's job, but everybody's - and it is up to all of us to help at least a bit one person.

January 2017

Women´s Rights

Before I started working people knew me by "Karime", or in the states like "Kamie". My family and friends know me by those names. When I started working and I needed an office mail, first of all, I wanted Superspecial, lol, the people at the office politely pointed out that using a name is probably better.

They recommended I use my other name: Emmanuelle because it would be hard for people to know if I were a boy or a girl, and that little decision has helped me thru out my career.

Once people I´ve worked with find out I´m a woman/girl/feminine the trust and the relationship is already made which makes it easier for me to get things done.

Of my favorite experiences is when I have to interview people and women, in particular, come to the meeting wearing very suggestive clothes, which is probably thought out for Mr. Emmanuelle.

I´ve been in meetings, trips, reunions that I am the only woman, or at least of the 10%.

Could it be just the name? In my psychometric tests, I usually come out more of a male way of thinking. Who knows.

That's just what I personally have experienced.

Seeing the buses here in Mexico and to see that they are divided with a women's car and "not women's" car just goes to show how much we have left for real equality, a humans rights more than women rights - I just hope my kid gets to see the day.

I got your letter today. I came home from work and I was in shock. I honestly still am. It’s a Saturday and mail doesn’t get delivered or picked up on Sundays so I have to wait till Monday night to put it in the mail boxes. The letter I wrote you was kinda shit. I think these emails explain things way better. They’re daily and I can go more into depth with what I’m feeling and what’s going on without my crippling ADHD bouncing off the fucking wall. Your hand writing is shit by the way. Are you in second grade? My nephew has better handwriting than you. I think about us too. I honestly don’t know anymore. If we did date, I would want to know for a fact you changed, but there’s no way for me to know that for sure. You promise me in august that you wouldn’t get in trouble and by October you where in shuman. I don’t think you understand how bad that hurt. Vince, I cried for a week straight. You know how hard it is for me to cry. I don’t even get upset. 2018 was a hard year for me. 2018 literally tried to kill me but I’m still here bitch gang gang. I don’t ever want to go through the shit I went through again that year. It was heartbreak after heartbreak. I don’t know if I cried hard harder in may or when you left. Both months where really hard once. Anyways, lets say we do date. How do I know that when you make me a teen mom, something isn’t gonna happen. Like I know we joke and talk seriously about having kids, but lets say we do end up together and we have a kid. I don’t want to put the kid through that. There is no way I’m letting my child grow up fatherless. You did too, you know how much it hurts. That child grows up not knowing a strong mother/father figure. That child has to deal with all the stress their parent is under too. That child grows up wondering how someone else can love them, when the people who are supposed to don’t. Lets say we don’t end up dating. Do I still be friends with you? My mom used to have a friend who, like you, was in and out of jail. She stopped being friends with him because one she didn’t ant him to do something to me and two she didn’t want to be guilty by association. I don’t want to be guilty by association either. I trust that you would never put me in a situation like that because I know you care about me and don’t want to see me hurt, but if you didn’t want to see me hurt you would never have let yourself et in trouble in the first place. I’m gonna say what my dance teacher said though. One of these days something might happen and I won’t be able to stop you. It scares me thinking that I can’t always keep you and my other favorite people safe. I just want to keep all my little ducklings in a row and shield them from everything bad. I can’t do that though. You’re gonna be gone for at least another year. Lets say I don’t wait it out. I would feel bad about it. You said you might be able to have home visits and I want to spend those with you, but I know you would be upset about me moving on. Honestly I don’t think I’m meant to end up with anyone. I know I’m young but you know I have a sixth sense for things. I just know things before they happen and they’re right. I don’t know how I know them, I just do. I know on some level I’m just meant to be alone. I don’t ant to be, but I don’t think there’s anyone out there for me. Ya I have met a few people and thought hey maybe this is it, but I’m also not even 16 yet and things just don’t look that way now. I don’t know. I’m glad you’re on medication though. Part of me thinks it’s more than anxiety. I also can’t believe you might come home middle of you’re sophomore year. I thought you would at least be back before school starts. There’s no telling what will happen by then. To be honest I think by then I will have moved on. I also don’t see it at the same time. I honestly just give up on everything. Life is so good right now, but at the same time shit is so fucked up. There’s a million and one things I wish I would have done differently.I quit my job today. I don’t 100% know how I feel about it. I know it caused me a lot of stress and I would have panic attacks all day. I won’t even there for 30 minutes and got corrected 6 different times by 5 different people. I think that’s a new recored. It said leaving you’re first job let me tell you. I was crying with the hiring manager for 10 minutes before I left. I don’t know why they where so upset, they made it clear they don’t like me. As does everyone else. Waverly told me I’ve been pushing everyone away lately. Can you blame me though? No one cares about me and they make it so obvious. I tell them what’s wrong and they either take the other persons side, make it obvious they don’t care or don’t even try. That’s why I don’t talk to anyone anymore. I wish I could just shut everyone out and start everything over. But then I remember certain things and I start smiling and laugh, sometimes crying because the memory was when times where good and I realize how much I’d miss certain people. I cry a lot more than I’ll admit to. I don’t know what you’re mom thought about my message she never replied to me. I do want to know what she thinks but I also don’t give two fucks. I honestly don’t know how you got me to even apologize. You people convince me to do the dumbest things. Like shave my legs and wear shorts in 25 degree weather. Wasn’t the first time and definitely not gonna be the last. A hoe never gets cold. I’m happy I might get a chance to see you though. Haven’t seen you since November 18th. I’m gonna tell you the same thing here that I did on you’re hand written letter. I don’t care what you say we’re watching friends. I got told today I’m way too obsessed with friends. I guess just have a strong relation to some of the characters and what they go through and long for a strong friendship like theirs. I know it’s a tv show and so of course everything I gonna be perfect, but one can hope. Hope is for suckers though. I wish I could remember that more often. You hope for things you get hurt. I don’t talk to Ali and Trent anymore, I can’t stand anyone in that group. I don’t talk to anyone anymore really. Everyone gets on my fucking nerves. There’s not even a handful of people I care about anymore. Don’t worry eventually I’m gonna get it down to no one ahah. I used to be so nice, what happened to me? You’re whole grade is terrified of me. I did find out today I actually am freakishly strong at least a little bit. Mike took me driving today and long story short we ended up playing footsies and I like broke his hip. I felt so bad, but it was kinda funny. I’ve been told I’m a little beast by hunter. I remember I started going to the gym because I wanted to look skinnier, now I just want to look like I could kick your ass. I honestly need to chill with how mean I am though it’s gotten so bad. But speaking of Mike, he’s scared you might hurt him or like try to kill him. He knows you don’t like him. I know I’ve said it before but I’m gonna say it again. Don’t you fucking dare start anything with him. He means a lot to me and you do to you. So don’t you dare put me in any type of situation between you two. I’m telling you now it won’t end pretty. Anyways, don’t worry I’ll proof read Lilly’s letter. I wish I could send you memes though. My meme game is fire. BUZZ LOOK AN ALIEN! I think I need to still send you that video.it’s my favorite video. I’ve actually. escalated my picking on people into memes, and let me tell you, once I’m making a meme it’s game fucking over. I destroy people. I was told it’s funny when I make fun of people though. I think they think I’m joking though but I’m not. I say things like it’s a joke but 99% of the time I’m being looked serious. I wanted to get those touch bracelets for your birthday. They where $88 dollars though. Not that I had a problem with that just one big dawn would have spread my ass cheeks and two all the what if from before pop into my head. Maybe when you come home. I would send you hoodies on amazon but like I said, my cheeks will be spread like butter. Plus let’s be honest. I’m gonna steal them anyways. Don’t worry though I won’t cut them this time. It think I’m gonna cut all the hoods off my hoodies. Well not all. I need something to put me into my final cancerous egg form. There’s an egg on Instagram by the way that has more like than Kylie jenner’s baby picture. I’ll try to write and send you weekly letters though. I’ll still write these daily ones. I hope you can come home early and I don’t just mean a home visit. I miss you. I hope you mean it when you say you’re being good and I hope you stay that way. Get you’re shit together before I beat you up. I miss us wrestling. You’re like the sibling I never had. The ones that just randomly pick you up and world star you to the fucking ground. I’d be lying though if said I didn’t start it. I’m such an asshole. Anyways, I’m hungry. I’m gonna wash my face, eat and go bully the autistic kid. Be good and stay good stupid. Good night, sleep tight, and don’t let the bed bugs bite. I love and miss you,  Your tadpole

day 115 without my tadpole

Morning Pages #50 (04.11.2017)

Saturday 4th November - 7:52 a.m.

So a lot has happened. A lot has changed. I think it’s fitting that I’m starting this up again the day after I submitted the last assignment of my degree. That, and I’m right back where I started the very first day I started these morning pages: back at Emily’s apartment in Northcote. Except it’s my apartment now! Mine and Evan’s. We moved in together on the 12th of August, because Emily is going to be living in Sydney for most of her time now. She’ll still be travelling interstate for a bit, but she’ll be spending a lot more time with Bruno and Romy and Quinn, her partner. We’re still receiving a lot of her mail, which I haven’t had the time to forward to her because of uni and work and everything, but I’ll have the time now, I suppose.

Anyway, I should let you know that I am indeed on track to graduate, on the 15th of December with a weighted average mark of over seventy, which is fucking incredible. I actually cannot believe I’ve been able to do this, uninterrupted for three years despite all the shit that’s come my way through it all. I am actually an incredibly strong person, and I forget that so often because of all my momentary bouts of fear, of all my apprehensions and timidities. I have to acknowledge that it takes so much strength to just be who I am. I’ve communicated that to Evan and he understands what I’m talking about, for the most part. I’ve told him a lot about my grandparents, and my parents, my sister, Ikaros, and all my pets. We’re thinking of getting a dog, Evan and I. It’s just that we don’t really have the space for one here so we’ll have to move first, which is a shame because I’m really enjoying living in this apartment with him. This place is basically the setting of our first few months together. On our first date he dropped me off here, we kissed goodnight on the steps outside. The first time we had sex was in this room. I’m fairly certain I wrote about that so I won’t write about it again now. Far too much has happened to be looking that far back.

Anyway, yeah, we’re thinking of getting a dog. I’ve been going to adoption days a lot, mostly by myself because Evan’s been working so much. But we went to one together on the 29th of October because it was a Sunday and it was just up the road at the Northcote pet warehouse. There was a dog there named Raven who just came up to me right away and gave me a massive hug, the little thing. My heart is breaking all over again just thinking about her. I really want to find her again and rescue her. Oh man I haven’t done this in ages and my fingers and my arms are hurting from writing this fast. I used to be able to get these pages done in like fifteen to twenty minutes and it’s been ten minutes already now and I’m not even finished with the first page. I’m getting there though. I suppose you have to maintain the habit for this to feel as easy as it had felt in March or in April. I want to keep writing about all the stuff that’s happened since June but I know that technically these entries aren’t supposed to be like a diary at all. I just choose to write about my day and my life and Evan and all of that because it’s what’s on my mind most of the time, and it’s nice to have a record of that stuff, I suppose. I haven’t been able to record me and Evan moving in together which is a shame because I had recorded a good bulk of the beginning of our relationship. Ooh! Second page now! My arms are hurting a lot I think I may have to change the way I’m sitting right now. I’m lying down facing the window and listening to Childish Gambino’s ‘The Night Me And Your Mama Met’ on repeat. This song is just so soothing, it’s been really nice to write essays to. Okay, I’m changing the way I’m sitting right now though. I was only sitting this way because my laptop needed to charge a bit but now it’s on 66% and that should be enough to finish off these last two pages.

Evan and I had sex last night, it was the first time since Sunday, I think. We’ve been having a bit of a periodic sex life because of all the clutter we’ve had to deal with: Evan’s prolonged work hours, my crazy uni/work schedule, and the fact that I only get evening/weekend shifts at my restaurant. Yes, I’m working at a place on High Street in Thornbury, a place I handed out my resume to with Wren and it turns out they liked me and they hired me, back at the end of July. It’s a pretty okay gig. $20 an hour, and the evening shifts are about 5 hours long so 2 evening shifts a week and 2 weekend shifts, I end up making about $400 a week: basically more or less the same as Evan for less than half the hours Evan works. But I am hating the fact that working at the shop takes away my entire weekends, most of the time, and Evan’s entire week is taken over by his work. So we don’t really have too much time together. I’m looking for full-time work right now, something I can do with my degree. Kill Your Darlings is hiring and I think it might be good to look into that? There’s a good chance they may hire me just because I used to be a subscriber! Actually I think I might still be a subscriber, but I haven’t been reading anything at all. I should probably do my research.

Anyway I’m working today. 11:30 a.m. till 12 a.m. which may or may not be 1 a.m. because I might have to close the shop. I hope not, though. I just got my period, last night. During sex. Evan was cleaning up afterwards and the condom was just all covered in blood. His fingers were all covered in blood. It was strange, but thankfully he didn’t seem to mind it. But goodness, this morning I woke up and felt like I was either going to explode, or that I was so empty that my body would collapse in on itself and I would turn into a black hole. I took a dump and I’m yet to eat, but I’m feeling a lot better now. I miss Evan though, I miss him so much. He left at like half past seven and I won’t see him again till LATE tonight because of my dumb restaurant job. They’ve also been hiring other people which means I’m not getting as much shifts or as much choice of shifts and it’s really fucking irritating. The place is so mismanaged. And although the work is pleasant and the people are lovely (with one exception: Josh), being there is just not good for me, I think. That and I’m keen to finally find something in my field. I’ve been working three years, getting my qualification so that I can contribute to Melbourne’s creative industry. I mean I’ve been doing that with The Yarra Reporter, but I want to do MORE. That, and it would be nice to be paid, you know?

Actually, I’m also thinking of volunteering at an animal shelter. To get my dog fix until we can actually adopt a pet ourselves. We really can’t have one at Mitchell Street, as much as I would like and as much as I’ve been trying to persuade both myself and Evan that we can...it’s just not a viable option. This is no place for a dog. A tiny, second floor apartment with one human who’s barely ever home and then me, who’s looking for full-time work as well. I really don’t know what I’m going to be doing with myself though. Sam said she’d write me a letter of recommendation to work at Robinsons, but I’ve been thinking about that and I don’t know if I’d want to work at Robinsons. So I’ve been asking myself what I DO want to do, and I don’t know if anything’s at all appealing right now. All the creative writing jobs on Seek are ‘content writer’ or ‘social media manager’ or something like that, which could be fun but it also could be totally capitalist and soul-destroying. But the main thing that’s put me off Robinsons is the fact that it’s retail and I’ll have to make ‘sales’ and be equally capitalistic. Fucking hell though, it can’t really be avoided, can it? I applied for The University of Melbourne’s Master of Secondary Teaching, specialising in English and SOSE. There’s a very real chance I’ll be accepted into that, but I don’t want to be a teacher either. Not right away, that is. In all honesty, I see myself doing that eventually...but definitely not right out of uni. It’s a personal belief of mine that teachers should have a fair amount of life experience under their belts before they return to high school on the other side of it all as teachers. The best teachers I had were teachers who’d lived, and who’d taken their field by storm, seen all there was to see and then used all their passion and experiences in their classrooms. I want to be a teacher like that, and in order to do that I’ll need to be really really brave and step right into the creative industry. That means time to write more slam poems, time to write short stories and novellas and novels and enter them into competitions, time to write articles and send them to Djed and Peril and KYD and Going Down Swinging, everybody. Time to do a lot more at The Yarra Reporter, time to make myself fucking prolific. I have to be everywhere, doing everything. Rue Tunga on the scene with my camera and notepad in hand, taking in all that Melbourne has to offer and spewing it all out in the form of CULTURE. I’m actually terrified right now, but writing this has gotten my head together a bit, it seems. I mean I needed this. It’s 8:22 a.m. now. It’s been a half hour of writing and I’m nearing the end of this third page. I’m not as slow as I was when I started this, that’s good to know. But to be fair, I’ve been writing non-stop all week. I had four assessment tasks due within a week of each other. And I had to finish them all one after the other. I think the worst one by far was my gothic fictions essay. I got my last one back and it turns out I didn’t do too well on it: H3. Part of me thinks it was justified and part of me doesn’t. But I swear to god I deserve way better on this last essay I did on Dracula and Frankenstein. I compared the two monsters alongside the era they were written in.

Oh, so I’m running out of space now, so I’ll just say one more thing before I’m done for the day. Evan and I got a lift to my restaurant (from Wren and their cousin Tahni who’s visiting from Queensland) to hand in my employee papers (it’s been cash in hand since I started, like everybody’s been cash in hand up until now) and then we were walking back home when we decided to get some stir fry things to eat with the rice I had in the rice cooker at home. We bought food stuffs and were walking down Mitchell Street when Evan slipped and fell on our bag of prawn crackers. He got so mad he swore REALLY loud and then flung the bag into the street. He said he almost threw our food too. Then he walked home really briskly and left me behind a bit. We got home and the rice hadn’t cooked because I hadn’t turned the rice cooker onto ‘COOK’ it was just on ‘WARM’ for three hours. So Evan, in a continued state of agitation, ordered three packs of steamed rice from Loving Hut on UberEats. Fucking hell. I flipped the rice cooker on, and our rice was done before the Uber rice came. He said he almost punched a hole through the door, and he almost threw our whole bag of food. Because he slipped and fell. It was a bit of a stressful scene. But it was followed by some nice food and Dexter, and a really honest and loving night, and some great - if not slightly bloody - sex.

So today was all around pretty good. I have to start with last night though, because falling asleep pretty much turned into a trainwreck. I had slept in till noon so it wasn't too odd for me not to be super tired, but when it's going on 2:30 and I'm feeling very distinctly awake and I remember taking my melatonin, I'm wondering what the fuck is going on, and then it hits me- when I was setting up my pill box for the week I neglected to put the 1 Xanax I've been taking a day in the box, and we all know the apparent sedative powers Xanax can have on me. I realized this at exactly 2:30 am, so of course at that point I got up and took a Xanax. Unfortunately it did not take effect as soon as I hoped, and I wound up staying up some time after 4 o clock, meaning with my 7 o clock wake up time I got somewhere less than 3 hours of sleep, probably closer to 2 1/2. Yikes. But I swore I would get out of bed because I fucking have to, I can't afford to be a slacker for another day when it's only a four day week anyway, so when my alarm rang at 7 I dragged myself out of bed and thankfully for the most part I didn't feel too exhausted during the day, though I felt slightly sleepy during the afternoon, but that was probably due to my relatively boring task, but more on that later. So I get ready and get to work, my direct boss is out for the morning on a visit or something like it, and somewhere around 9:30 I remembered I had the phone interview scheduled for 10 am, but I had a sinking feeling they wouldn't be calling me. Nevertheless, I went through the interview packet and came up with a list of questions adapted to his situation being that he was being released from juvenile detention. As predicted, they didn't call, I gave them until 10:30 before calling them, and they claimed they never got our paperwork, even though I have the confirmation that the fax went through, they said it must've gotten lost somewhere along the way and I'd have to resend it, and they need 48 hours to schedule any phone interview. I asked if they could make it work for Thursday and they said to fax the request and they'd see if they could fit it in the schedule. *sigh* so I type up a new request and used my recently acquired faxing skills to send it to them, asking that they call me to actually schedule the time. The fax went through, but I didn't hear from them today. If I get to tomorrow afternoon without hearing from them I'll call again and bug them. Ugh, I was not pleased with this situation. So after that I run a few things around and call some caseworkers to get some info on cases and got to run through permanency hearing questions for the other one I'm doing on Thursday, so that was good. At that point I was out of work, so I announced this to all the attorneys on my calendar, and the one that sits across from me said she had some prison phone calls I could listen to. Oh goody! At least they're interesting sometimes. So she gives me the basic breakdown of the situation, basically they're calls between mom and her supposed boyfriend through mom's incarceration from October to January waiting to get bailed out. Boyfriend had testified in January that he dumped mom in August and she's just been following him around, but then of course we have a record of 100 calls between the two of them, so we just had to find the content to disprove his testimony. Well, as expected, they were very much together and very frequently exchanged I love yous and such. 90% of it was mom bitching that nobody has bailed her out yet (she had a $1500 bond) and just hounding this guy about it meanwhile literally nobody around her has a job or any money and get all their money from public assistance. But then she'd say shit like "(daughter) says there's no groceries at the house" and the guy would start listing food he spent money on, but then mom turned around and was like "that was money you could've been sending me." Like, wtf? And of course she was just constantly hounding him to send her money for any and everything. Then there was the half hour call between her and her daughter where they laughed and reminisced about the shoplifting incident that got mom arrested, and she's now facing 5 years in prison because this is her 8th fucking time getting arrested for it. And I kid you not, they were joking about it and having a great old time. Other highlights include when she told her boyfriend he couldn't come pick her up from jail "in case DCFS finds out" well, we ain't DCFS exactly, but believe me, we're gonna find out (and as far as court is concerned, you should be more scared of us than them). Then there was when she was like "my grandpa sells his pills on Mondays, he gets $400 for them and offered me $100 but I said I'd only take $50" and I'm just like ohhh boy. But yeah, it was full of little gems like that, and I was only like my 18th page green sheeting it, so there's definitely plenty there. I just don't fucking understand people when literally the entire time the call is like "this is being recorded and monitored" and then people still say the dumbest fucking things. Amazing. So that actually took up most of the rest of my afternoon, and time passed pretty quickly because of it. Sometime after 4 one of the other attorneys came in and asked if I could do some emergency motions for her and argue two on Friday, so I put the calls aside and started working on those, cuz we'd have to serve them on everybody by the end of the day tomorrow (of course it won't take me nearly that long to complete them). So I worked on those until about 4:50. I was planning on taking the 5:13 bus and not rushing for the 5:03 because I had no particular reason to, but then I checked my app and the 5:13 bus said it was "delayed" and of course I'm like aw hell no I ain't doing this shit again so I ran out of the office and just made it to the bus in time. Got home by 6:20 and had a little bit of time to relax and eat before going to PT at 7, which was nice. PT was good, we ended up doing more of the dry needling because some of my muscles are still super tight and my PT guy was like we should be making more progress at this point, so hopefully that will help. I got home around 8:24 and of course turned on the prison break finale, I hadn't realized they moved it back an hour so I was happy to find out I wasn't as far behind as I thought I'd be, and the episode did not disappoint. I know they said they could potentially do more seasons, but I almost want them to just leave it here because FINALLY everyone is just happy and any other problems are just gonna screw that up and I just want my bbys to be happy forever after everything they've been through. It was honestly such a great episode though, classic prison break, kept you in suspense until the very end and full of so many twists and turns you never knew what was gonna end up being part of the plan and what wasn't. I was sad that we lost Whip, but I knew they were gonna kill off someone we liked, and in all honestly he was probably the least painful one to go (I do not count T-Bag among those we liked) so as sad as it is better him than one of the others. And of course I'm just so happy for my Scofields to finally have happiness and to be able to live happy lives together and I really don't want anything to interrupt my (fictional) babes in their happily ever after and I don't care if that means not getting any more episodes, I'm honestly fine leaving it here for their sakes (I know, they're fictional, but still). So overall I was really quite pleased with it, probably the best season/series finale I've seen in quite a while. I'm so used to the rug being pulled out from under us at the last moment it was FINALLY so nice to just see them go happily ever after with no last minute devastating twist. So when I finished with that I switched over to the keepers, and watched the 7th, and what I did not realize was the final until I was done with it, episode. I kept meaning to look up how many episodes there were but I just figured it's a Netflix show so there's 13, so when the credits rolled and there was no next episode to start I was definitely surprised. I have to say though, episode 7 was a bombshell episode, probably the best in the series IMO. To me it was just so disturbing to hear just how much the Catholic Church shielded pedophile priests and enabled them to abuse more and more victims, and to this day their actions continue to be those that are simply to cover their own asses. I know of course not the entire church is bad, I'm quite the fan of the current pope actually, but I was really disgusted to see the church sending lawyers to argue against extending the statute of limitations for civil suits on child sex abuse, and for their arguments to consist of "well we have to pressure the victims to come forward before more people get victimized" which is such an incredibly awful statement I can't even understand how anyone would think that's an okay thing to say, to put the blame on the victim like that is appalling, and any idea that a shorter statute of limitations will result in victims coming forward sooner is pure fantasy. This was about nothing other than getting the church out of liability, and that's disgusting to me. Their continued denial of knowing about Father Maskell's abuse when there's clear evidence they did is just baffling to me, I can't possibly see what they have to gain by making these claims other than a sorry attempt to cover their asses that in all reality royally backfired on them. As for the whole murder situation, after seeing all of it, I definitely found Jean (Jane Doe) to be credible and I believe her account of being taken to see the body where it was later found and being told sister Cathy died because she was going to confront the priests about the abuse. As far as the players involved that actually could've carried it out, the Edgar guy seemed odd to me but I'm not sure he was definitely involved, the Bill guy however, especially given the recorded interview of his (unfortunately now deceased) nephew who describes being there while they buried the body was pretty dang convincing to me, especially given he has literally no motive whatsoever to make something like that up. I think it's very possible both men were involved, but we sadly don't really have enough evidence (at this point, anyway) to piece together what actually happened that night, and sadly many of the key players who would potentially be at fault are dead, so justice will never be served as far as they are concerned, which is very frustrating. I'm glad at least father Maskell had to watch numerous claims of abuse by him come to light before he died. And yeah, that was pretty much my night. I have a slight headache and I am very tired now, so I think I'm gonna take that as a sign that now is a good time to call it quits here and go to sleep. I've clearly ranted about my day enough. So goodnight dollfaces. Stay beautiful.