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yurtletheturtlehenderson · 5 years

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S.T. REWRITE - S2:E1; Chapter One, MADMAX - [Pt. 3]

A Will Byers x Reader Series

As the town preps for Halloween, a high-scoring rival shakes things up at the arcade. Will begins seeing strange visions as the anniversary of his disappearance creeps up.

Warnings: an instance of self harm TECHNICALLY. I don't know if I can even call it self harm but it is not out of depression, but it is for demonstration. Regardless I felt the need to warn you guys in case this might be a trigger to some of you. If you are concerned it might be, i will put a signal [▪▪▪] at the beginning and the end of the instance if that makes sense? Sorry if it's weird i just have never dealt with this issue before and i don't want to trigger anybody. Also, unedited and most likely filled with grammatical errors

[FLASHBACK]

"Come on!" The giggles of the girl were softly carried through the trees.

Will Byers and Y/N Henderson were lightly jogging through the woods to the infamous Castle Byers hand in hand.

"Okay, okay" Will laughed, trying to catch up with the girl ahead of him. It had been a few weeks since coming home from the hospital after his disappearance, and Y/N Henderson had yet to share her secret with him.

She insisted that she wait until they could talk in private, so Will had suggested Castle Byers, even though he was still uneasy about the woods since the incident.

Here they were, rushing through the trees to the makeshift fortress in the woods.

He had never stopped trying to pry any sort of information from her prior to this, but she wouldn't break.

Sure enough, the familiar flag and sign of Castle Byers came into view and the two ducked inside.

Will fought the shutter that creeped up when he took a look around. The last time he had been here was in the Upside Down.

When it got him.

But when he looked at Y/N, it was different. He was still spooked but he felt grounded with her here with him.

They both took a seat, her in her normal spot. Her having been over so many times, Castle Byers had become their thing, their hideaway and she had her own corner with some of her comic books and other things of hers.

"So what is it? Is everything okay?"

She chuckled weakly and looked down, her nerves began to stir. "Yeah, everything's fine, but uh, it's weird. I'm not gonna lie, it's very weird."

Will's brows furrowed but his curiousity was peaked. Silently, he urged her to go on.

She took a deep breath and began.

"So, do you remember all that stuff we told you about that girl who helped us, El? And how she had... abilities?"

He considered this and then nodded his head. Ordinarily, he would have difficulty believing it but after the whole ordeal he went through, anything seemed possible at that point.

"Well, I think - I think it might be better if I show you."

[▪▪▪]

Before Will could ask what she meant, she took a steep breath and exhaled pulling out a small pocket knife. She awkwardly opened it and hesitantly brought it up to her palm.

Will's eyes bulged and his face went pale and he frantically reached to stop her, sputtering desperately trying to find the words to tell her to stop. But it was too late. With a sharp hiss she dragged the blade across her palm drawing out a thick stream of blood.

"Crap, Y/N, what the hell was that? Are you okay?"

[▪▪▪]

Will began to look around frantically for something to stop the blood and settled on a discarded piece of cloth that tore from the ratty sheet that was used for the entrance the fort.

He quickly pressed the cloth to her palm and she hissed once more, glancing up at him, smiling and thanking him. She gently took the cloth and applied pressure for a few more seconds and then wiped the remaining blood away and set the cloth aside.

She shifts nervously taking a long inhale through her nose and closing her eyes.

She clenched her bleeding fist and Will watched with bewilderment as her brows furrowed slightly and body tensed for a brief moment.

Though only moments passed, Will took the opportunity to gaze at the girl before him. And although her face held a stern look of concentration, it had sense of emotional vulnerability.

It took everything in him to pry his eyes from her face and to focus on her hand and while nothing seemed to present itself as unusual he knew nothing would be the same somehow.

His heart began to pound against his chest, and then it happened.

Her fingers slowly unfurled and Will gaped at what he saw. Blood still stained her fingertips and palm but the cut itself was gone. Like it had never existed.

"Wh- I- How did-?"

"I know, even I still can't believe it. And no, I don't know for sure how I got it, technically, but, there's more,"

Will clung to her every word as she retold the story of her encounter with the bad men, only this time including every detail. All the way up to what the white haired man said to her as they tried to take her away.

It fell quiet for a moment and Will spoke up.

"So, do you think, do you think that place, is where you come from?"

She bit her lip nervously and met his eye, nodding her head.

"I mean, it's gotta be right? I can't think of any other possible explanation for it. And what's even more terrifying to think about is, if that really is the case, would I have grown up like Eleven? I can't even begin to imagine how awful it must have been,"

Y/N grew quiet and Will hung his head, sparing a glance at the girl.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up,"

"No, no," she laughed weakly.

"No, it's okay. This is huge, it's hard not to want to ask questions. And I'm sorry you couldn't find out until now, but I couldn't risk anyone else overhearing or finding out or anything. And I made the others promise not to tell you. I figured it should come from me,"

"No, I'm glad it did." He smiled. "So, how much did they freak out?"

Y/N laughed as she recalled the memory, explaining how after everything calmed down they bombarded her with questions and wouldn't let it go all as she wore a fond smile on her face. It soon fell as their laughter died down and she grew more serious.

"Will,"

"Yeah?"

Will felt his heart break for her.

"Will, you faced a monster that week. Spent every moment running and hiding. But in a way, we did too. Those men were," she paused, caution even in her next few breaths."Will, they terrified me. He terrified me. The bad men. I just... I can't get the way he looked at me out of my head. Or... what he called me.

And, I knew that if they got ahold of me - if he got ahold me - he could make me disappear forever. I mean, Jesus, they made and dumped a fake you in the quarry, Will. We buried you. I don't even want to think about what would have happened if things turned out any different than it did,"

Everything she had said was true. They all faced their own horrors that week, and it left scars that even she couldn't heal. Wanting desperately to console her, he reached out and took her hand in comfort.

"The point is," she wiped away the remaining tears and looked at him. "Will, you need to promise me that you aren't going to tell anyone. Especially my mom. The others know, obviously, can't risk anyone who isn't already involved to know, it puts them in danger."

"Don't worry, Y/N. You're secret is safe with me."

She smiled thankfully at him and the two of them shared a brief moment of peace which quickly turned to silence that needed to be filled.

"So, can you do it on command? You know, the wave thing?"

She smiled shyly and shook her head.

"No, it's rare, and pretty much happens on it's own in really bad situations"

He smiled at her and she chuckled.

"What?"

"I bet you could."

"Could what?"

"Learn to control it. I mean, look what you did with your hand! Imagine what you could do with your other powers,"

"You know, this might sound weird, but then again, all of this is weird," the two chuckled and she continued.

"But, I think all this might connect to my bizarre luck with plants. Like, who knows? I could be the next Poison Ivy," she joked.

Will breathed out a light laugh and nodded head. "Totally,"

The two smiled at each other and butterflies stirred between the two.

They both held each other's gaze and then Will speaks up.

"You should try. Practice your powers, I mean. You could do great things,"

"Yeah, I could, couldn't I?" Y/N giggled, a confident smile on her face.

She laughed and rubbed her hands together before reaching her hand out and gently placed her palm on the dirt ground and closed her eyes.

It was at that moment Will could have sworn he saw the smallest bit of movement-

[END OF FLASHBACK]

||Will's POV||

"Will?"

"Huh?"

It took a moment to come back to reality.

"Yeah. Yeah, sorry." I mumbled halfheartedly.

"Hey. What did we talk about, huh? You've got to stop it with the sorries."

"Sorry." I quickly realize what I said. "I mean, yeah, I know"

"And listen, you know, there's nothing to he nervous about, you know."

"Just tell 'em what you felt last night and what you saw. Hey, I'm gonna be there the whole time. So it's gonna be okay. Okay?"

I couldn't help but think of Y/N, and what they would do if they knew about her.

And I didn't even want to think about the possibility of them knowing about her and the fact that they could take her away at any time.

I shook my head subtly, trying to rid myself of the awful thought.

The anxiety was creeping up on me again and I rested my head on the side of the window, looking out at the open road ready to let my mind wander.

+ + +

"Sir Will, how are you? Mom? Pop? Let's take a look, see what's going on here," Dr. Owens entered the room. He greeted me, my mom and Hopper who always came along to support us.

Dr. Owen's sat down next to me and begins looking through my file, stirring up conversation as usual. "I see you shaved off a pound since we saw you last. Must be making room for all that Halloween candy. What's your favorite candy?"

I lightly shrugged, clamming up a bit not used to the sudden spotlight.

"Desert island candy, if you had to pick on?"

"I don't know."

"Come on, life or death situation, what would you pick?"

"I guess..."

Mom mouthed Reese's Pieces.

"Reese's Pieces."

"Good call. Good call. I'm more of a Mounds guy, but I gotta say, peanut butter and chocolate, come on, hard to beat that. All right, so tell me what's going on with you. Tell me about this episode you had."

There it was.

I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and I felt a chill run down my spine at the recollection.

"Well, my friends were there and then they just weren't, and I was back there again."

"In the Upside Down?"

I nodded my head.

"All right, so what happened next?"

"I heard this noise, and so I went outside, and it was worse."

"How was it worse?"

"There was this storm"

I could still see the flashes as clear as day.

"Okay. So how did you feel when you saw the storm?"

"I felt... frozen."

《• • •》

I trembled as I stared at the monster in the sky. I could hear the faint echo of her voice.

"Will?"

It's staring at me. The shadow.

《• • •》

"Heart racing?"

"Just frozen."

"Frozen, cold frozen? Frozen to the touch?"

"No. Like how you feel when you're scared, and you can't breathe or talk or do anything. I felt... I felt this evil, like it was looking at me."

"It was evil?"

"Well... What do you think the evil wanted?"

"To kill."

"To kill you?"

"Not me." For the first time since he questioned me, I looked him in the eye.

"Everyone else."

My heart was pounding against my rib cage, and my palms were sweating.

I felt mom squeeze my hand.

"Do you want to tell him what you told me, baby?" She whispered.

I frowned for a second as I looked to her before I knew what she was talking about. It was a small detail I didn't even realize had happened until I was telling her about my episode.

"I remember hearing, very faintly," I took a breath, hoping to subtly stop my quickening heartbeat. "I heard this voice. My friend. She was the only one I could kind of hear."

"So your friend was with you when you had this episode?"

"Yeah," I mumbled avoiding eye contact once more.

"Is this regular for you? Can you normally hear others outside of an episode?"

"Never. And I wanted to hold onto it for as long as I could but I was too scared."

"What were you afraid would happen, Will?"

"It saw her," I could feel the color drain from my face.

My heartbeat quickened. I didn't want them to know about her. But if what I am about to admit out loud really is true, that means she could be facing an even greater danger.

"Was she there with you?"

I shook my head. "No, but I could barely hear her. Like she was calling to me from a distance. And I wanted to follow that. I thought maybe, if I did, the episode would stop but-" my eyes were beginning to burn, I hadn't realized I was fighting back tears.

"It's okay, take your time," Dr. Owen's said.

I took another deep breath and managed to swallow the lump in my throat.

"But I couldn't let myself,"

"And why not?"

"It saw her," I looked the man, unable to hide the growing fear in my eyes. "It saw her as a threat."

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bandomgay · 6 years

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My brain to yours pt.1 b.u

Tw: blood,gore,self harm,violence,hallucinations,slight mention of an ed

Au: hey babes this is gonna be my 5th time trying to post this and i want death so bad...however if there is any confusing things or typos or things seem to quickly paced im sorry thats just my brain babey! Enjoy...i guess

Word count: 1,894

It all started when he was about 6 years old, he never spoke ever,not that he couldn't he just wouldn't, his parents were worried about his development,however nothing was ‘wrong', he had a quite developed thinking process for a child, but it wasn't a good one for his age nor was it a normal one,no child should be so terrified of talking to people and being thought lesser of as his voice shook violently while trying to say the easiest of sentences.

he understood people to early into his young life ,he got the memo that everything was too stupid and too hard to understand so he gave up . his mother took him back and forth to hospitals and child psychologists ,his mother scared for what was to come of him could this weirdness she didn't even have a name or diagnosis for develop into something more as he grew? She thought, would he be normal? Would he be like the other children who laughed and giggled at the littlest of things? Would he be happy like them? She had decided to push her concerns into the back of head deciding that maybe he was just awkward it's okay to not fit in hes a fucking 6 year old boy maybe it's not that deep.

he was now in the 3rd grade now and teachers became more and more loud and responsive with their problems, he thought maybe whatever bad stuff they had going on at home they just needed to vent threw aggressiveness and shaking hands and restless mornings,but however it was their screams he didn't care for, he looked them in the eye wondering what he had done wrong, however he didn't care enough to continually think about it, but he realized slowly that couldn't feel anything like the red faced teacher did, he’d envy the poor mannered teachers feelings if he could, just how they could get so angry and fed up with kids who were disgusting and vile and how he never felt that…... he never felt anything at all .Now he was in the 5th grade he had to repeat the 4th grade due to staggeringly low grades and his failed attempts at homework he never seemed to have remembered. Things were getting hard to remember, so hard to remember what the teacher had said in the classroom that seemed to fade away after he was picked up by his mom and the sheer silence of the drive home and his mothers sneaking looks into the mirror with furrowed eyebrows at her son who never told her how his day went.

In school it was just so easy just to drift off in the land of dark swirls and dark worlds filled with make believe that he couldn't separate from the real world that never seemed to go away and darkness he felt comfort in his head till he heard nothing but the disgusting laugh of a teacher who had looked as if she wanted to deck him in the face ( he imagined about 3 different scenarios of how that actually could have occured, he held back a giggle and a sly smirk) as she snapped her wrinkled hands in his face “earth to brendon” he heard the aged feminine voice laced with anger repeat twice but he had failed to tune into the first reminder he was too dissociated to notice, he came too but didn't understand her reasonings of not just leaving him alone and let him rot and break free and he soon heard the fits of laughter coming from children he knew he was too weak to stop.

he wanted to do terrible things to everyone in that very room including himself, a dark desire he couldn't contain from his mind but he never followed through with these type of thoughts. he could never seemed control them he thought of them like messages being sent from an unknown source in the back of his head that had an invisible connection to someone he could see but nobody else could he dared himself if he could just pull at the cord in his head he wouldn't have those those thoughts, the figure never showed up in the same form it could be the shadows of dirty rain water coming from outside showing like a projection on the dingy beat up wall rising above him to claim a mental dominance , or the rotten stain of mold on the bathroom floor that now seemed to have a charming glow yet secretive smile or the bag of dirty clothes that sat high up on its rounded edges now smiled at him and watched him threw the night .

now it was the 7th grade and things had went to shit,it was already shit but it had gotten no better, fits of depression had left him wanting to call a hitman on himself and letting himself be cut open so all the organs in his body to be shot out of him or rip his jaw and everything behind it out of his body but he was too fatigued to think about it anymore his brain seemed to have stopped working back in the 6th grade, he could never think clearly a heavy fog on his brain he could never do much for himself he found the most simple of things he couldn't do, he couldn't pay attention, he felt dizzy at random times becoming feverish and not thinking about why because he couldn't think he thought process lessen and lessened with every passing day until all there were was thoughts of gore and death,sadness and the never ending thought of killing anyone or anything that had managed to make him want death even more.

he just continued to fade in and out of reality staring into the wall for to long or unknowingly staring at the couple of people who he thought was calling him pathetic and worthless with the contradictory voice telling him he's so much better than the disgusting people he saw and that they didn't deserve to smile they don't deserve happiness even though they’d never even spoken a word to him, they were never mean to him. he started pinching,stabbing,pulling at his hair,clawing at himself hard trying to see if he could care that he'd just hurt himself he continued to hurt himself hoping somewhere in the back of his mind he start to feel things, to show him he's real everyone sees him, but his inner self knew what he was doing he wasn't just trying to see if he was a real person he was punishing himself because he couldn't do what the rest of the real kids could do he couldnt plop himeself in a hard metal chair and take a test without thinking about what a disgusting person he was, without hearing them say he wasn't shit that his brain is mush that he couldn't understand the easy directions how he could get so angry and mad without hesitation how he could imagine killing his parents im cold blood… he stomped on his own foot,why is he thinking about this why is he thinking about this why, they creeped back up on him showing him images of his brother and sisters dead and gutted his parents choking on blood and vomit pale and dying, he hated himself for thinking these things,but if it was possible for him to be completely honest with himself he didn't care if they had died or not he just didn't have the ability to care.

He couldn't look people in the face without seeing these images of grewling faces pushed together in piles of pink and red flesh crawling into each others organs which looked rotten and distorted, why was he seeing this things these disgusting things these things… he wouldn't admit to himself that everytime he looked in the mirror he tried not to vomit he tried to hard, he bashed in the mirror bloodlying his hand, his hiss echoing in the empty bathroom he couldn't go to the nurse he couldn't look her in the eye and see her like that, besides he was on the first floor and he was too weak to go all the way to the fourth floor he knew he would pass out, he felt something pooling in his stomach it was anxiety he felt the cramping in his stomach and the salivating in his dry mouth, he vomited into the sink, he hasn't eaten anything in about 3 weeks so the pain of dry heaving for almost half in hour into the sink made him dizzy and ultimately pass out. he had now awoken to bright lights that made him nauseous and whimper, he was in the hospital again. he tried so hard not look the nurses and doctors in the eye and seeing horrific images in his mind of them dead, rotten maggot filled and bloody be he regained his ability to see the normally after a while.

“Brendon honey…” his mommy's voice was there “mommy...hi mommy” he said in a broken whisper. She had realized he never calls her mommy unless something's wrong he wasn't aware that he was, he turned to the right finding an iv carefully placed into in scarily pale arm “honey...they found you in the bathroom your hand was cut up...you where passed out what...t?” she silenced herself for a moment seconds later starting up again. “They found you in the bathroom..the mirror was broken and your hand was cut pretty deep and passed out” he mouth trembled a bit, she moved his sweaty bangs out of his forehead, he felt wetness on his skin his own uniform shirt clinging to his skin he was sweating.

He didn't feel real he didn't respond properly to what she had said he only looked away.. And said “dizzy….everything hurts…” he was so surprised he felt something but if feeling was like this he didn't want it. “I d..don't wanna feel like this..can you make it stop mommy please?!” Nani was absolutely terrified she'd never been so scared for her little boy, “its gonna be okay,sweetie...i swear..to god i swear…” in this moment if she was honest she didn't believe there was a god, no god would do this to her son, she turned around after hearing the door and hard footsteps.

“Hello ms. Urie im dr. Yakima, i will be assisting and diagnosing your son” she nodded softly wanting her son to be okay. “Hey son,open your eyes for me,i'm here to help” brendon heard a much more distorted version of what the doctor had said than nani did, but then again he was fading in and out. He handed her pills and said firmly “these are anti-nausea and pain killers i'm gonna give these to him and he will feel much much better i promise..” He was right it with his cocked up eyebrow and charming smile that sparkled with calmness and reassurance that worked its way into nani. the medication worked but not instantly. “Sit up honey..” She said softly, he followed what she said slowly with a wrecked groan and intense muscle pain however there was no rush.

#brendon urie #panic! at the disco #patd #*****mine #brendon urie imagine

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thefloatingstone · 6 years

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Currently everyone in my family is unemployed, I'm unable to get a job, our water got turned off because we couldn't pay it, I've run out of my SSRI antidepressants, and me, the only person who has any frugal-ness, has been banned from buying groceries, meanwhile the only two other people who are now able to are declining to go grocery shopping. Tl;dr Everything in my life is fucking falling apart and I can't fix it.

Oh man that’s really rough, anon!

I’m not really sure there’s much I could do to help in terms of suggestions. If you are an artist I could suggest things like doing emergency commissions or something, but that’s only if you are able to. Or if you’re a writer instead you could also offer commissions in terms of short fics and such (Fanfic writers are just as worthy of being commissioned to work as artists imo). However I’m afraid I’m not much use beyond that type of suggestion, since you say you’re unable to get a job. So I can’t really suggest getting something small and temporary.

Basically, if you are able, the best thing one can do is figure out what you are good at doing (writing/drawing/knitting/painting/jewelry/tarot cards etc etc) and offering it as a service. Or finding a way to apply what you are good at to something to garner a small income.

If nothing else, I’ve seen tumblr posts of people opening up donations just so they can get enough together to do something like pay your water bill for instance.

I’m not entirely sure what SSRI is 8′D but I am sorry you’ve run out of your meds. However, if you’ve been off them for a while now, also remember that your own chemistry might be amplifying your bad situation to yourself. Your situation IS bad, but chemistry and such will always try and find a way to make it seem even worse than it already is. I know logically knowing this does not take away the emotional feeling, but it is something to keep in mind if you are able to.

I’m also sorry to hear about your grocery problems. I’m not sure what you mean by being banned from grocery shopping. I don’t know if it’s a thing where you live but could you do grocery shopping online and have it delivered to you?

Honestly, like I said, I’m not very good at things like this because I try to think of practical solutions which may not be what you need right now.

However, when I am in a bad situation, what I usually do is focus and only try and cope with one thing at a time. Focus on a singular thing, and tackle that first. Don’t worry about the others, just the one. And one step at a time work through it until it’s not so much “fixed” but where it’s at a point where it’s “improved”.

My mom also uses a method where you ask yourself the question “and then what?” 4 times and see where you get. However because I myself have anxiety, this method doesn’t work very well for me because my first “and then what” is always the worst solution X’D

There are lots of posts on tumblr about how to survive on a very small budget as well which may help you feel a little better regarding your savings if you follow them. Such as how to make $5 last a whole week and stuff like that.

Finally, I guess all I can say is, when it feels like everything in your life is falling apart and the floor is breaking up under you, the best think one can do is find something to make you feel you have a moniker or control in your life. Small things that make you feel you have a grasp on something. I know it can be very difficult to do things when you have depression, but getting ourselves to feel we have some grasp on things does a lot to help you hold yourself together.

It can be something as simple as looking at a shelf on a bookcase and deciding to rearrange it so it looks better. Or picking up the clothes in your room and dumping them in the laundry basket, or cleaning the ring around the bath, or just wiping clean the bathroom mirror. And I mean just ONE of those things at a time.

Taking small steps to make us feel we’ve got a grip on our lives helps enormously with trying to process stress. We even see this in very small children if they are experiencing high stress. Such as coming home from school and cleaning up or rearranging their rooms every single day. Things like that.

It helps us feel that, right here right now, THIS I can control. THIS I have power over. THIS I am changing or altering to another better state.

Anyway, I have no idea if any of that was helpful or not. ^^; I’m sorry I’m not very great at emotional support. My response is always to try and be practical but I know that’s not always useful or what’s needed u.u

I do hope things improve for you in time, and that things will shift to presenting solutions to you.

Hang in there, anon. Keep trying. Don’t give up.

Also here’s a video of Boris explaining how to make $60 last an entire 4 weeks.

youtube

#C-puff answers #I'm really sorry if this wasn't helpful #I hope things get better for you anon!#Anonymous

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