some of my favourite lyrics written by ethel cain 🗡️

family tree (intro) // inbred // thoroughfare // ptolemaea // gibson girl // ptolemaea

@mothercain

YOU POOR THING. SWEET, MOURNING LAMB.

THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO.

IT'S ALREADY BEEN DONE.

what fear a man like you brings upon a woman like me

please don't look at me

i can see it in your eyes, he keeps looking at me

tell me, what have you done?

Dazai truly has become Oda in every way imaginable now. :’ ) the final words he gives to Sigma are the exact same words Oda gives to Dazai in the original scene Asagiri wrote for the end of the Dark Era stage play, 後は頼んだよ, “I will leave the rest to you.”

And I really love the progression of the way his eyes look in this chapter, and how Sigma is allowed to have this moment of questioning and rebelling against all the faith Dazai had naturally been leading him to place in him up to this point, which is what I hoped would happen. He’s been confused ever since Dazai first chose him, and everything he’s ever known about how everyone sees/treats him turned upside down by Dazai’s words and actions, and just when he’s finally started to feel like he’s found some hope and lowered his guard, Dazai pulls him back underwater, instantly reinforcing all of Sigma’s trust issues and reinforcing that he should never believe in anyone, because (he thinks) everyone lives to manipulate other people. Dazai’s dark eyes here reinforce that, too, and the other panels around this point where they look white and hollow and demonic, all like Fyodor’s. He appears like an evil, looming force pulling him back under, trying to kill him, when Sigma is so close to the freedom of the air he desperately wants (aka free from pain, which is what he’s been seeking his whole life).

But then Dazai makes this face, and the first one I posted above, and Sigma understands, even without words, that Dazai doesn’t have evil intent: on the contrary, he actually is bound and determined to save his life -- and the light in his eyes comes out through this determination and kindness, arguably the most light we’ve ever seen his eyes have in the entire manga (in the “I leave the rest to you” panel too). The “No” could be Dazai wordlessly telling him to not leave the water, but my first assumption was that it was Sigma telling himself no, stopping his own train of thought about Dazai being the same as Fyodor and someone he shouldn’t have trusted -- he soon realizes why Dazai stopped him, and that he’s still going to try to save him, that he wasn’t wrong about him, and it’s all because Dazai’s earnest expressions get through to him.

And it’s just so heartwarming to see how far Dazai has come. :’ ) He tried so hard to save Sigma (doing the most physical action we’ve ever seen him do, really), did his best to be reassuring and comforting to him afterwards, and then reaffirmed his promise to ensure he escaped Meursault alive, his final words to Sigma echoing Oda’s and his last action being to save an orphan, just like Oda did in his last moments. Obviously Dazai isn’t actually going to die, he’ll be saved somehow, but I do think as of right now he really does think this is the end for him, and that he didn’t foresee the elevator dropping -- he was examining the wires a few chapters ago because he thought he might need to know how to open the doors in case Fyodor pulled an uno reverse, hence why he looks more annoyed than shocked when the water starts, but here, when the drop collision sequence is initiated, he looks genuinely shook in comparison. There’d be no reason for him to give the thumbs up if he knew more danger was on the way, either; that’d just be cruel. No, I don’t think he saw this coming, and it’s important that that turns out to be the case: it’s important that he spent what he believes to have been his last moments saving someone like Oda wanted for him, and doing what Oda would have done in the same situation. That doesn’t mean that it’s okay that Dazai throws his life away so easily, and cares so little for his own safety; he still has a long way to go in that regard. But it’s still so beautiful to see how much he’s changed, and how much he’s truly begun to embody Oda and his legacy; the fact that he messed up and miscalculated, because Dazai isn’t infallible, but in turn didn’t hesitate to use his last moments to save Sigma. Oda would be so proud for everything he did here. :’ ) 💖

There are a lot of options for how Dazai will be saved, and by who, but personally I hope (and I kind of expect) that Sigma chooses to not give up on him and ultimately plays a role in saving his life, to return the favor and repay him for his kindness. Not only would it be a beautiful way to initiate Sigma’s ADA entrance exam as people have said, but it would bring the Dazai > Atsushi > Sigma chain full circle: Dazai saved Atsushi at the start of the series, allowing him to (spiritually) save Sigma at sky casino thanks to the growth fostered in him by Dazai, and now finally, Sigma could potentially save Dazai thanks to Atsushi kickstarting his own growth (and Dazai continuing it). Fyodor is overly cocky right now and so tunnel-visioned on killing Dazai, it’s possible that he has no idea that Sigma managed to escape the elevator and is now a wild card; even if Sigma doesn’t go as far as killing Fyodor himself (which I don’t want, tbh; that’s endgame stuff arcs down the line and imo Nikolai and Dazai should be the ones involved with that), he could throw a wrench in the jailbreak duel, and help Dazai and Chuuya get out alive. It would be poetic, and only fitting, for Fyodor to underestimate and be outdone by the kind of person Dazai told him is the strongest in chapter 77 -- a self-proclaimed “ordinary man” -- who could only have the strength to take such action thanks to the chain of kindness that Oda originally started. 💖

astarion ptolomaea piece. in the works. listen to it NOW.

what we need mental health services to offer is an anger room. where you can go to just scream and break things. like stock it with 20 bucks worth of cheap plates and let patients smash the shit out of them. howl and pound on the walls until they're relieved/satisfied. maybe THEN when my mind is cleared of negative electricity we can discuss the sources of the suffering. like when i did equine therapy (which is the only therapy that ever helped me) they leave you all alone with the horses for an hour and then at the end you verbally process for five minutes. when you're at peace and thinking clearly. smashing objects is a great way to achieve clarity of thought. i speak from years of experience. just ask the holes in my walls.

HOW YOUR EMAIL FINDS ME

Can someone please either validate me or send me to the Corner of Shame? This is very silly but I'm wondering.

So. I was talking to my sister the other day about movies and such, and she told me of one she recently watched with this one actor. And I casually mentioned how much I hated him. Not in a "he's a bad actor" or "he's a bad person" way. Nothing to do with whether I find him attractive or not. Just in a "he looks the most punchable guy on earth and I have this irrational rage against him" way, to the point that I just can't watch movies with him without being annoyed.

My sister looked at me like I was crazy because, "what do you mean you hate the guy". And I told her yeah? That's normal? Don't you have at least one person you can't stand for no reason?

Sister was like 😬😬😬 No??? Which is wild to me, because I could easily name 50 (which I did - not 50 but we were getting close to 20 before i got too annoyed lmao).

Now she thinks I'm slightly insane (/j) (I made myself angry and may have referred to a few individuals as "stupid" and "obnoxious"), and I kinda don't believe I am the only person alive who feels this way. But also she's an incredibly empathetic extrovert, while I'm a very low empath socially anxious creechur so. There's that?? I guess ?? Idk.

Can anyone relate to this? Or am I the weird one?

Also wait. Little disclaimer: I am not generally a violent person AT ALL. Do i get annoyed and angry easily? Yeah. Do I feel like bitch slapping someone right across their stupid face? Yeah, sometimes, sure. Do I do something about it? Not really.

I can be real bitchy and extra sarcastic and petty SURE, but that's the most I'll do if I am legitimately angry. Mostly I just go to my room and cry 🥺 (crying when angry yes it me). So yeah. Before yall think I have unsolved anger issues.

when ur pmsing so hard ethel cain becomes slightly more relatable than usual

it's almost like if i dont let the whole world know about my new hyperfixtation i will burst into flames

"She guides my hand, in life and death," Alexandra promises with fearful certainty.

(2/8)

by pure evil accident taob zuko's current mental state is the exact same as the one ive been stuck in for the past few weeks and that's a bit funny to me. like i started writing this chapter months ago and knew what i was doing with it even longer ago and suddenly ive manifested it into reality. we are both facing the horrors rn

(s)maul tag update!!

#«   maul   »   always remember   ›   interactions. #«   maul   »   always remember   ›   mirror. #«   maul   »   always remember   ›   musing. #«   maul   »   always remember   ›   inspiration. #«   maul   »   always remember   ›   headcanon. #«   maul   »   always remember   ›   dash commentary. #«   maul   »   always remember   ›   about. #«   maul   »   always remember   ›   dash game. #«   maul   »   i am nothing   ›   v   /   training. #«   maul   »   i am a hunter   ›   v   /   apprentice. #«   maul   »   i am fear   ›   v   /   the clone war. #«   maul   »   i am filth  ›   v   /   after. #«   maul   »   i am changed  ›   v   /   bodyguard. #«   maul   »   i am lost   ›   v   /   rebels. #«   maul   »   i am victorious   ›   v   /   kss. #«   maul   »   i am repurposed   ›   v   /   ‘redemption’. #«   maul   »   a brother to ghosts   ›   savage. #«   maul   »   not beaten down just yet   ›   d. sidious. #«   maul   »   i can feel the soil falling over my head   ›   talzin. #«   maul   »   i am the face of love’s rage   ›   o. kenobi ft. mayxthexforce. #«   maul   »   on some level‚ i think i always understood   ›   feral ft. mayxthexforce. #«   maul   »   i carved out a place in this world for two‚ but it's empty without you   ›   maulkie ft. mayxthexforce. #«   maul   »   when everything stays   ›   feemor ft. mayxthexforce. #«   maul   »   there are times when i still wonder about you   ›   kycina ft. mayxthexforce. #«   maul   »   if maybe i shouldn’t have stayed   ›   k. matako ft. mayxthexforce. #«   maul   »   i'll keep you like an oath   ›   q. vos ft. mayxthexforce. #«   maul   »   cat and mouse   ›   d. judarri ft. mayxthexforce. #«   maul   »   it suits you better   ›   k. vosa ft. wstlnds.

𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑒𝑑𝑖𝑡𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐄 (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ / mutuals may reblog, personals don't interact.

i dont fucking need money or reminders of my old blog to be rbed when you guys are just fucking killing me anyway. it doesnt fucking matter cause im not gonna fucking live long enough to see any of that have use when you're just digging me into the fucking dirt. god do fucking ANYTHING else you status-quo loving fake fucks fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Ten Commandments

Blessed be the daughters of Cain, bound to suffering eternal for the sins of their fathers committed long before their conception

Blessed be their whore mothers, tired and angry, waiting with bated breath in a ferry that will never move again

Blessed be the children, each and every one come to know their god through some senseless act of violence

Blessed be you, girl, promised to me by a man who can only feel hatred and contempt towards you

I am no good, nor evil

Simply I am and I have come to take what is mine

I was there, in the dark, when you spilled your first blood

I am here now, as you run from me still

Run then, child

You can’t hide from me forever

konan is soooo padmé amidala coded 🙃 (extremely significant influence to the story that is immediately ignored / forgotten upon death by everyone)