Dazai truly has become Oda in every way imaginable now. :’ ) the final words he gives to Sigma are the exact same words Oda gives to Dazai in the original scene Asagiri wrote for the end of the Dark Era stage play, 後は頼んだよ, “I will leave the rest to you.”

And I really love the progression of the way his eyes look in this chapter, and how Sigma is allowed to have this moment of questioning and rebelling against all the faith Dazai had naturally been leading him to place in him up to this point, which is what I hoped would happen. He’s been confused ever since Dazai first chose him, and everything he’s ever known about how everyone sees/treats him turned upside down by Dazai’s words and actions, and just when he’s finally started to feel like he’s found some hope and lowered his guard, Dazai pulls him back underwater, instantly reinforcing all of Sigma’s trust issues and reinforcing that he should never believe in anyone, because (he thinks) everyone lives to manipulate other people. Dazai’s dark eyes here reinforce that, too, and the other panels around this point where they look white and hollow and demonic, all like Fyodor’s. He appears like an evil, looming force pulling him back under, trying to kill him, when Sigma is so close to the freedom of the air he desperately wants (aka free from pain, which is what he’s been seeking his whole life).

But then Dazai makes this face, and the first one I posted above, and Sigma understands, even without words, that Dazai doesn’t have evil intent: on the contrary, he actually is bound and determined to save his life -- and the light in his eyes comes out through this determination and kindness, arguably the most light we’ve ever seen his eyes have in the entire manga (in the “I leave the rest to you” panel too). The “No” could be Dazai wordlessly telling him to not leave the water, but my first assumption was that it was Sigma telling himself no, stopping his own train of thought about Dazai being the same as Fyodor and someone he shouldn’t have trusted -- he soon realizes why Dazai stopped him, and that he’s still going to try to save him, that he wasn’t wrong about him, and it’s all because Dazai’s earnest expressions get through to him.

And it’s just so heartwarming to see how far Dazai has come. :’ ) He tried so hard to save Sigma (doing the most physical action we’ve ever seen him do, really), did his best to be reassuring and comforting to him afterwards, and then reaffirmed his promise to ensure he escaped Meursault alive, his final words to Sigma echoing Oda’s and his last action being to save an orphan, just like Oda did in his last moments. Obviously Dazai isn’t actually going to die, he’ll be saved somehow, but I do think as of right now he really does think this is the end for him, and that he didn’t foresee the elevator dropping -- he was examining the wires a few chapters ago because he thought he might need to know how to open the doors in case Fyodor pulled an uno reverse, hence why he looks more annoyed than shocked when the water starts, but here, when the drop collision sequence is initiated, he looks genuinely shook in comparison. There’d be no reason for him to give the thumbs up if he knew more danger was on the way, either; that’d just be cruel. No, I don’t think he saw this coming, and it’s important that that turns out to be the case: it’s important that he spent what he believes to have been his last moments saving someone like Oda wanted for him, and doing what Oda would have done in the same situation. That doesn’t mean that it’s okay that Dazai throws his life away so easily, and cares so little for his own safety; he still has a long way to go in that regard. But it’s still so beautiful to see how much he’s changed, and how much he’s truly begun to embody Oda and his legacy; the fact that he messed up and miscalculated, because Dazai isn’t infallible, but in turn didn’t hesitate to use his last moments to save Sigma. Oda would be so proud for everything he did here. :’ ) 💖

There are a lot of options for how Dazai will be saved, and by who, but personally I hope (and I kind of expect) that Sigma chooses to not give up on him and ultimately plays a role in saving his life, to return the favor and repay him for his kindness. Not only would it be a beautiful way to initiate Sigma’s ADA entrance exam as people have said, but it would bring the Dazai > Atsushi > Sigma chain full circle: Dazai saved Atsushi at the start of the series, allowing him to (spiritually) save Sigma at sky casino thanks to the growth fostered in him by Dazai, and now finally, Sigma could potentially save Dazai thanks to Atsushi kickstarting his own growth (and Dazai continuing it). Fyodor is overly cocky right now and so tunnel-visioned on killing Dazai, it’s possible that he has no idea that Sigma managed to escape the elevator and is now a wild card; even if Sigma doesn’t go as far as killing Fyodor himself (which I don’t want, tbh; that’s endgame stuff arcs down the line and imo Nikolai and Dazai should be the ones involved with that), he could throw a wrench in the jailbreak duel, and help Dazai and Chuuya get out alive. It would be poetic, and only fitting, for Fyodor to underestimate and be outdone by the kind of person Dazai told him is the strongest in chapter 77 -- a self-proclaimed “ordinary man” -- who could only have the strength to take such action thanks to the chain of kindness that Oda originally started. 💖

(uh, this is rlly long im so sorry qwq)

OMG THAT LAST CHAPTER HAD ME FEELING SM CARINA U CANT DO THIS TO ME !!!! LITERALLY THE FIRST FEW PARAGRAPHS IN I HADTA WALK AROUND BC I WAS SO OVERWHELMED I LOVED IT SM !!! N THOSE LAST FEW LINES. DONTDOTHISTOME I S A W THE "BEAST AU COMPLIANT" TAG ON UU IM GONNA SOB MY EYES OUT DURING IT I JUST KNOW !!!

gonna leave some of my fave few lines n my thoughts abt them from this chapter (ok these arent all of em, bc if i put all of em it'd be the whole 50k words of this series SO ITS JUST THIS CHAPTER)

"because how could he possibly belong amongst people who are so unfailingly good that it makes his tainted heart stick out like a sore thumb?"

STOP NO DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEEE throughout the whole fic u perfectly captured his thought process n how he denies his own capacity for change n how he HAS changed from when he was 18 BUT THIS LINE MADE ME TEAR UPPPPPP

"He is so completely and irrevocably in love with you that Dazai doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to live in a world without you. The thought alone makes his skin crawl and his chest cave in."

self-explanatory

“Are you calling me ugly?” 

u gorgeous, gorgeous man ilysm yes you look like a rat but i'll swaddle u up in blankets n clean u up

the whole graveyard scene. DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY HELLO

“You were a kid, Osamu. You’re not some incarnate of evil for ending up where you did, you were failed by all of the adults in your life,”

ok nvm crying this hit me like a truck

"Humans cannot live without a heart, so if he’s to give you his, it’s only fair that you give him your own—though realistically, yours has already been his for a long time."

i feel like this mightve been ur fave line, but if it wasnt IT STILL IS MINE BC OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD QWQ

ranpos lil rant was so funny he's literally me frfr

“Yeah… ha, look at us, in jail at the same time! Couple goals, huh?” 

i giggled

PLS READER INVITING EVERYONE JUST TO AVOID GETTING INTERROGATED UMMM RELATABLE LMFAO

these are just some of them BUT JUST IN GENERAL, UR WRITING IS JUST MAGICAL ITS EVERYTHING IVE EVER WANTED TO READ N I LOVELOVELOVEEEE THIS SERIES N ALL UR WORKS (n u /p) SM !!! I CANT WAIT FOR UNREAL UNEARTH, I JUST KNOW IT'LL BE AMAZING !!!

RED HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU NOT TO APOLOGIZE I LITERALLY ADORE YOU IM GOING TO WEEP OMG

honestly the first scene of dazai’s pov was one of my favs to write because it pisses me off so much whenever he’s excluded from the ada panels in the manga fjsjdjsjjd so i NEEDED the opportunity to hit home that that is his FAMILY idc what asagiri says the ada is that boys family and he deserves it 🥹🤞

UGHHHHH STOP BECAUSE WHENEVER I WRITE CANONZAI ITS SO HARD TO KEEP ON THAT THIN LINE OF HIS INABILITY TO ACCEPT HIS OWN GROWTH WHILE ALSO HAVING HIM ACKNOWLEDGING ODA’S LAST WISH FOR HIM SO I REWROTE SO MANY OF HIS POVS SEVERAL TIMES BECAUSE I FELT LIKE I WASNT GRASPING IT ALL PROPERLY

the graveyard scene was one of the 3 scenes i started writing for 🥹 i literally was weeping when i finally got to it

AND ALSO THE YOU WERE A KID LINE UGHHHHHHHH BRO when i tell you that’s something that i literally want to scream at him and shake his shoulders like he was FOURTEEN WHEN MORI BROUGHT HIM IN AFTER HIS ATTEMPT !!!!! FOURTEEN !!!!! HE WAS A BABY IT MAKES ME SO SAD WHEN HE FRAMES HIMSELF AS SOME IRREDEEMABLE MONSTER WHEN HE ONLY TURNED OUT THE WAY HE DID BECAUSE HE HAD NO ADULTS IN HIS LIFE SETTING HIM ON THE RIGHT TRACK ugh im gonna weep again i will always be dazai’s #1 defender, i will fight him himself idc he was only a lil baby :’)

oh my god fun fact i actually almost deleted that line about the heart, i don’t even know why like i was rereading it right before i post and i second guessed myself because i was like ‘i don’t think it rlly flows’ but then i decided against removing it because i liked the line in general SO IM WEEPING AGAIB

bro ranpo needs a promotion for real the headaches this man must get because of people not listening to him 💀

HDOSJDJSJDJJD THE COUPLES GOAL LINE WHEN I TELL YOU I SNORTED WRITING IT HELPPPPP I WAS GIGGLING SO HARD

RED ILYSM IM BUNDLING YOU IN THE SOFTEST BLANKETS AND GIVING YOU A FOREHEAD KISS

i’m so excited for unreal unearth like honestly it’s my pride and joy, i’m so pleased with how my beast!dazai characterization has come out so far and i’m hoping everyone else is going to like it too 🥹 if not ill simply die HAHAH JK JK JK no but really i’m so very excited for it

Hi, Sadist, I love your artworks and stories so much, as an aspiring writer. I was wondering what you thought of Fyodor's death during the last season 5 episode of bsd, because I felt that all this time he was shown to be sooo intelligent, and then he got fooled way too easily by skk's fake vamp trick (i'm dying), the plot of bsd is confusing me :') AM I alone here??

First of all, you've come to the right place. If you didn't see my other most recent ask, I'm a BSD s4-5 hater, and an Asagiri hater as a whole, really, after seeing the kind of shit he's pulled.

Second of all, let's get something straight here: FYODOR IS NOT DEAD. You can't EVER tell me that 1) a BSD character of importance has actually died for real and 2) his dead body was not even shown on screen and Dazai said "HE'S DEFINITELY DEAD" HAHAHAHA. LAUGHABLE. ATROCIOUS. He's obviously gonna come back minus one arm. Asagiri doesn't care about logic or good storytelling, anymore. It won't matter that a helicopter literally BLEW UP WITH HIM IN IT, Asagiri will be like "um akshually" and then the worst possible plot convenience explanation ever, just like EVERYTHING IN THE NEWEST SEASONS HAS BEEN SO FAR.

Like please. I'm SUCH a hater right now. I don't ever want to see more BSD content. I'm done. Wrap it up. The vampires were enough. I didn't need fucking CHUUYA PRETENDING TO BE ONE AND MAKING THE AUDIENCE JUST BELIEVE THAT FYODOR WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO THINK HE ACTUALLY WAS A VAMPIRE?? HELLO? Smart person, who??? Also tell me how he simulated the red eyes, Asagiri. Hm? How'd he pull that off?

Bullshit.

Fyodor and Dazai came off as intelligent in their first few appearances together. Fyodor's BANGER scene with Ace? I'll never get over it. I LOVED that. Was it a BIT of a stretch in a lot of areas? Yeah! BSD has always been that way. But it absolutely lost its course and any sort of grounding in reality or good storytelling when it came to S4-5. All of the "'''''''intelligent'''''''''' characters are now just plot convenience masters. It's absolutely ridiculous. We went from high school level reading to kindergarten shit.

And I never thought I could be made to HATE Dazai. But these new seasons turned up the "oo I'm so quirky" dial on his character so hard that I completely disconnected with him and Fyodor and couldn't stand whatever scenes we got with them together. The whole prison break scene was devastating, too. What EVEN.

Coming from a writer's perspective, this is just the LAZIEST plot I have ever seen in an anime. Asagiri spent NO amount of effort deciding how to make characters work to get themselves out of whatever pits they fell into. He just went "oh and then this other guy swooped in and fixed it! Easy peasy! I'll beat up Kenji again! And then I'll give him this VERY IMPORTANT rage form suddenly that was NEVER explored and NEVER mentioned until just now! For like two minutes so he can "beat" this guy in a fight and then let him go because NOBODY DIES EVER!"

I seriously can't. I knew Dazai wouldn't die but all the fan theories of how Dazai wouldn't die were better than what actually happened. It's almost amazing the amount of non-effort that went into these season arcs.

After finishing them, I now hate Gogol, Fyodor, Dazai, Chuuya (more than before), Atsushi, Fukuchi, Ranpo (though I've never once had a positive thought about him) and basically everybody--except Akutagawa was okay, Sigma, Jouno, and Tetchou had potential, and Bram was very cute. They ruined everyone else so badly that it felt like OOC versions of them. Or did next to nothing with them, like Jouno and Tetchou. ESPECIALLY DAZAI. I will be malding over Dazai for FOREVER now. Why the hell did they turn him up to 100 on the most annoying parts of his personality???

In conclusion, not a single thing went right in those episodes, it was all "oh this could be go-- [GETS RUINED]" over and over again. There was a SINGLE episode that made me happy in S4 and it was that one where Gogol was introduced and he yanked on Atsushi's leg and stuff and that was IT. LMFAO.

Okay I have to cut myself off or I'll go on for hours. THANKS FOR ASKING ME ABOUT IT, IT WAS ALL BOTTLED UP IN ME.

And more importantly, thank you SO much for the compliments on my work!! I'm so happy you like my stuff, and I hope you take writing lessons from Asagiri on all the things you should NEVER do in a story if you want it to be worth anything!!!!

Your support for my simping is very much appreciated, thank you!

Ango is sooo reliable, I want to kiss him on the cheek. Honestly, Dazai is my least favourite from the Buraiha trio. I know that Asagiri favors him, considering the fact that he puts Dazai in literally everything and the whole multiverse stuff going on in beast.

On that note, Asagiri and I have something in common. We both love Sigma. Apparently, Sigma wasn't gonna be in Mearsault but Asagiri really wanted to write about him and that's why he ended up in an enclosed space with three psychopaths.

Also, I made an account specifically inspired by this 'kiss-anon' alias so, if you see someone named 'xoincognito-mwah' in your asks, that's me, lol.

-Sincerely, 💋

Lololol if I see it I'll know it's you.

Ango could ruin my whole life. I just rewatched the Wan! dark days episode at bar lupin and Ango specifically covering his face and whining that he didn't wanna show his stamp to Dazai and Oda + him whining "my poor cow" bc he's embarrassed ----- my heart!!!! Be still my heart!!!!!! It's literally pounding, I'm so down bad for a fucking animated man. Where is my real life nerdy nervous wreck of a man? Give him to me ):<

Dazai is the most main character main character to ever main character. He's everywhere and in every plot. He's the link to everyone. He has all the power. He is The Mr. Bungo Stray Dog Himself.

That is literally hilarious about Sigma, I had no idea about that. Poor dude suffers from success. He's too interesting and cool and got put in A Situation and now who knows when or if he'll wake up. (I totally think sigma is gonna join the ada, no way he's dead)

Bungo Stray Dogs - Kafka Asagiri/Sango Harukawa Volumes 9-10: A Commentary; the one where I look beyond Dazai's pretty face for a sec (*anime spoilers and manga spoilers up to ch.114)

-AN ATSUSHI-AKUTAGAWA COVER, LET'S GOOO (it's so pretty)

-i feel bad for akutagawa re: how dazai treats him, i really do. it's not like chuuya who can give it back just as good. aku-kun is like an open wound when it comes to dazai

-the agency and port mafia have flip phones and mr richman francis out there be using The Iphone 

-IS THAT ODA IN THE BACKGROUND WHEN DAZAI TALKS TO KYOUKA! oh this is PERSONAL for dazai, damn

-i know they all have similar hands, but there's something about aku-kun's big frilly sleeves that makes his look extra elegant

-it's sweet how double black bicker very wittily, very creatively, and the new double black mostly just call each other variations of "idiot"

-"the painful words of the past have essentially nothing to do with who you are."

-this is such a silly comment, but there's this panel where dazai sits talking to kyouka and he has one foot firmly on the ground and one on his toes and that's such a small detail and i love it?? that they included such a small thing??

-genuinely, at least in my experience from watching it the first time, in the prettiness and novelty of the anime, the depth of the characters and of the plot flies over your head a little. yes, shenanigans, absurdity etc etc, but bsd is so much more than that, and it's so much easier to take that in when reading the manga, when you can sit with the panels.

-atsushi and aku-kun are so babies when they fight together, i can't :") someone protecc them

-HOW DOES EVERYONE HAVE SO MUCH CHEMISTRY WITH EVERYONE, WHAT IS THIS CAST

-akutagawa always saving atsushi's ass, smh

-three consecutive atsushi bubbles are just "...!" and i love that. sometimes all you can say is "...!"

-"conquered herself," i like that

-I SEE YOU IN THE SAME PANEL WITH DAZAI, FUKUZAWA! REMEMBER YOUR BLACK SHEEP SON DAZAI, FUKUZAWA?! YOU BETTER REMEMBER HIM, FUKUZAWA!

-the fact that it took until vol.9 to explain why atsushi can now control his skill

-ATSUSHI GRABS KYOUKA-CHAN'S HEAD TO HUG HER, LMAO

-AKUTAGAWA LOOKS SO SMALL AND BABY IN DAZAI'S POV, A LITERAL CHILD OMG!

-the way atsushi is genuinely happy or sad for others.

-no wait, is kenji-kun saying cheers with a tomato?? yosano with an entire bottle?? who's holding a freakin jug???

-dazai, from the time he met atsushi-kun: ah yes, this new stray will be perfect for my ex stray

-FYODOOOORRRRR

-on their DAYS OFF, the agency flocks to the agency building's cafe. sit on that for a minute.

-"DAZAI-CHAN"

-THE LOVELY WAITRESS SMACKED DAZAI-CHAN'S HEAD RIGHT ON THE TABLE AHAHAHAHA

-listen, i don't want bad things happening to the agency, ever. but also, anything that discombobulates mr i-can-predict-everything-i'm-300-steps-ahead dazai-chan makes me happy.

-it's sweet how atsushi goes "dazai-san!" in his moment of panic when he sees the bartender's cut finger. miss doctor is right there, but atsushi calls to his number one senpai first, you know?

-you really do see the "anemic" part of fyodor, it's more pronounced than in the anime

-the trauma is strong with this one (*atsushi-kun and the orphanage director)

-dude, this is actually difficult to read. it's actually hard to read. (*the director's treatment of atsushi)

-it's just. it's so twisted, but atsushi and akutagawa are so good for each other. they're terrible *to* each other, but because of who they are as people, their natural behavior enables each other to save themselves from themselves.

-atsushi to aku-kun: "are you going?" no, he's going to hang around for tea and therapy. what kind of question is that, bb?

-there's something about dazai. you could say he's jaded. you could say he's calculating, sus, desensitized, moving strings. his guide to living is oda's guide to living, but. but there's still something so intrinsically nurturing about him. something so delicately caring. idk, that's how i perceive him.

-idk, i think one of the themes that comes out of bsd is "i'm not gonna save you; only you can save you; but you won't have to be alone while you save yourself." 'cause there's always a "we" implied in bsd. in every character's loneliness, there's a "we" that they belong to, there's people behind them, backing them up, reaching out in their clumsy, convoluted, twisted or unconscious ways.

-this is a complexity that's so important to me. "you were in hell and hell raised you right" and "you need to acknowledge both of these things, but you don't have to forgive any of it." it's a terrible thing to acknowledge, that something decent in you was created or reinforced because of something horrible that was done to you. it's bone-chilling. it's so important to me that atsushi can still cry/is allowed to cry/allows himself to cry over the death of his only (barbaric, unforgivable) father figure, even if he hated him, even if he can't forgive him, because he was such a huge part of his life, and that he doesn't have to explain why he is crying, if it's confusion or shock or relief or loss or all of those and then some; he can just cry.

and atsushi asks dazai what he's supposed to feel, and dazai doesn't tell him how to feel. he only gives him the facts. "you know what you know, an unforgivable and barbaric experience. here’s what you don't know, who that man was - not the monster looming in your mind, but an actual person. take that and do what you want with it. he was your father figure, and people usually cry when their fathers die, but it's you who gets to decide if that's you, if you consider him worth crying over." and atsushi doesn't have to decide. he can just allow himself to feel his feelings, without explaining them to us.

and i think that's very dazai of dazai too, 'cause that's what dazai does. he does his machinations and brings people where he wants them, but at the end of the day, the choice of what they do with their circumstances is always theirs. dazai makes highly highly educated guesses, but he doesn't *know*, he can't account for the unpredictability of humans, he can only adapt to it. he brought akutagawa where he needed him to be, but the choices were akutagawa's, from the moment they met. he brought kyouka where he needed her to be, but her choice to save the city was still hers. you could argue that they didn't have real choices since dazai brought them to a point where there could only be one inevitable outcome given their characters, but that's not true; isn't it dazai who says early on that there's always a choice? i don't remember, but there's always a choice. it's who they are that makes their choice inevitable (and in line with dazai's calculations), so in a sense it's a free choice that's slave to the characters' nature (my aot is showing).

-i have a soft spot for trench coat-less dazai, 'cause it's so casual. just chillin'. just botherin'. no hardships.

-i find it incredibly charming that out of work aku-kun is dressed in more casual clothes and not his usual outfit

-i'm sorry, higuchi is lovely. i don't know if it's her by herself, or that she acts this way for aku-kun of all people, but she's lovely.

-higuchi considers atsushi a "seasoned" foe, aw. seasoned. little baby tiger

-like, at this point "jinko" is just the port mafia's pet name for atsushi. not insulting or derogatory or anything.

-*shakes fist* FYODOOOOOR (right now he's one of my favorite antagonists)

-"HE IS SOULLESS. A VAMPIRE." lol, mori looks like "bitch what"

-FYODOR IS GNAWING ON HIS FINGER, IS HE DRAWING BLOOD, IS THAT WHAT HE IS DOING, IS HE ACTIVATING *IT*

-oh come now, he calls himself anemic too, SURELY (in retrospect) this is some kind of blood-related clue?

-oh, even i don't like this, smashing a bottle on fyodor's head. too demeaning

-FYODOR'S FACE AT HIS WET HAT

-if villain why so pretty, fyodor? hm?

-if villain why so funny, fyodor? hm?

-HE CUT HIS FINGER ON A PIECE OF GLASS. it's blood-related, it is.

-man, i can't wait to rewatch the anime with the benefit of hindsight

-seriously, maybe he transfers his consciousness to others via blood and that's why he's anemic and that's how he communicates with "the rats" when he's locked up. i mean, have we even seen a "rat"? maybe they're all fyodors, I DON'T KNOW (have we seen a rat?). maybe the crime is killing fyodor and the punishment is getting more fyodors, I DON'T KNOW

-WHAT IF HE IS NOT ENTIRELY LYING, OR LYING ABOUT LYING, "CONSCIOUSNESS AND SPACE," TRANSFERRING HIS CONSCIOUSNESS THROUGH SPACES IE PEOPLE'S BODIES- ch.114 has made me lose my mind

-imagine calling fyodor "stupid." how embarrassing for ace

-OOOH, fyodor knows about ALL the port mafia skill users oh no.

-whose blood is this, even? is it the kid's blood? it could very well be fyodor's blood, his hand is blocked by the kid's head. i trust nothing.

-wait... fyodor is "soulless"... and tells the kid "may your soul find salvation"... coincidental soul references? I TRUST NOTHING

-i thought the read would go by faster, but no, i actually need time to process, even though i already know the story

Hello hello! You mentioned in one of your posts you don't like how the geniuses are represented in bungou stray dogs. So i was wondering if you would like to share more on that thought and how do you think that can be improved. Hope you are safe and healthy!!!

Hello! Thank you, I hope you’re safe and healthy too!

Yeah of course! I kind of quickly went over my issues in the post you mentioned, but I can try to explain it better! 

Before we get into it, a disclaimer: Asagiri is a fantastic writer. Bungou Stray Dogs is an amazing story, I absolutely love his writing in the manga and in the few novels I’ve read. His plots and characters are great, complex and full of details. I absolutely love Bungou Stray Dogs, and I’m not trying to give him tips on how to improve his story. It’s just that, as an aspiring writer myself, I like I need to stay critical of my favourite stories and whenever I realise that some elements are frustrating me or rubbing me in the wrong way, I like to try to understand why. I also want to say this is probably more a matter of personnel taste rather than an actual flaw in the story. Dazai is the most popular BSD character, so obviously, the majority of people really love how Asagiri is writing him and that’s absolutely fine. The best I can do here is to try to analyse why I don’t like always it and maybe what would make me like it more.

Also as another disclaimer, I’m not completely up to date with everything the manga and I haven’t read all of the novels, so it’s possible that I’m genuinely just missing some elements to really appreciate the way Asagiri writes Dazai’s genius abilities. But I still think I have a right to discuss it because most of my criticisms are related to the anime and to the movie and to the parts of the manga that I did read.

(I know that the question is about “geniuses” in the story, but I will actually focus on Dazai here because he is the main offender and he is the one I think about whenever I talk about “geniuses” in BSD. Fyodor does some of these things too but not as much. Also, I tend to give Fyodor a pass with most of these things because 1) he hasn’t been in the story for as long as Dazai has, he still feels like a relatively new character to me so I’m not compeltely used to him and I’m still mostly impressed when he does some of his “genius” tricks things 2) he is a villain/antagonist so no matter how much he keeps outsmarting everyone I know that he will (probably) ultimately be defeated one way or another so he is allowed to get more wins.)

Okay, so like I said before, very broadly my main issue is that Dazai never fails and always plans everything to the point where it feels more like plot armour than actual intelligence to me. Right off the bat, this might be more of personal preference, but I rarely like the “all according to keikaku” to trope (there’s a reason it turned into a meme). It can be well done and in a satisfying way, but I often get frustrated when something crazy happens and all hope seems lost and a character says “actually, this was part of my plan all along” because it can often feel like a Deus Ex Machina. Dazai does that a lot, and I think it annoys me twice as much with him because Dazai has a bad history of emotional manipulation with almost everyone he ever met, so whenever it’s revealed that he actually had a plan in motion from the beginning and just didn’t tell anyone about it, I can’t help but think “so ... you literally used everyone like pawns?” It’s not necessarily a bad thing storywise, it could actually be interesting if it was framed as Dazai relapsing in his toxic mafia ways even though he keeps trying to be a better person. I would actually love that! But more often than not, it’s framed as an amazing badass moment with everyone being really impressed and in awe (or at least that’s how I read it). 

It also gives off the bad impression that Dazai can never fail. The first time that this kind of thing happens I’m genuinely impressed, but if it keeps happening again and again and again, I stop worrying about Dazai because I’m just assuming that he has a plan to save the day. And you could make the argument that I should never be worried about Dazai in the first place because he is one of the main characters and so he will probably be okay until the very end of the story, but there are some great stories out there who can make you worry about the protagonist even if you know they’re going to be okay. With Dazai, no matter what happens to him, I never worry because no matter how bad things seem to get, he just never ever fails. And it’s important for characters to fail because that’s often when character growth and development happen. That’s also what makes us appreciate a character’s intelligence.

Like I said in the previous post, I think that the best way to show your reader how smart a character is, is to show how they bounce back and react when things don’t work out for them. That’s something that the first arc of The Promised Neverland does almost perfectly. I use this example because I started watching BSD when the TPN anime began airing and so I watched the two shows almost side by side. The main kids of TNP are all supposed to be some form of geniuses in their own ways, they are way smarter than average and are extremely good at tactics, strategy, chess and all that good stuff. The whole show is about the silent mind games between them and the antagonist who is also a genius in their own right, and we see the kids failing A LOT. Without going in too many details or spoilers, we see them planning some things meticulously for days, weeks, months, and then the whole thing crashes down in a matter of seconds because their adversary was smarter than them. Sometimes it’s just small stepback that pushes them to rethink the entire thing, but sometimes it’s a huge blow that makes them think that everything is lost. And the fun part is to see them react to these defeats, to see how they learn from their mistakes and analyse the problem and come up with a solution. That’s what makes me go “holy shit, these kids are so smart!!!”

I never get that feeling with Dazai, because I never really see Dazai fail. There are a few times where I THINK that he failed, and I get really excited for a minute thinking “Oooh damn!!! He didn’t see this coming, this is so exciting, I wonder how he is going to adapt and bounce back!!! I wonder if he going to have some self-introspection and some growth!!! I wonder if he’s gonna have TO ASK FOR HELP which would be huge for him!!!” But no. Actually, he knew everything that was going to happen and this “failure” was actually part of his plan. So ... I guess that he doesn’t have to learn anything and doesn’t have to face consequences for his actions and I don’t have to worry about him. 

I’m laying it on thick right now to make my point, it’s not always exactly like that. But to give you an example, the biggest offender here is the Dead Apple movie. I have a complicated relationship with Dead Apple because I think that the beginning and the first half are genuinely fantastic, with a very strong premise, wonderful character interactions, an intriguing mystery, and some great action scenes. Brilliant. But ... the second half and the climax are a big mess. Kind of a fun mess at some point I will admit, and the animation is still good and all of the Aku/Atsu/Kyouka character moments are still really strong. But I don’t think I'm the first one to say that climax and resolution are incomprehensible. You could put a gun to my head asking to explain to you Shibuzawa’s motivation, how he did what he did, what he wanted, how come all the abilities turned into a giant dragon, why Fyodor wasn’t affected, how they fixed everything in the end, and would probably take the bullet. Again, still fun, and I’m just glad to see Aku, Atsu and Kyouka kicking ass. But now I’m supposed to believe that DAZAI HAD PLANNED THIS ENTIRE MESS FROM THE VERY BEGINNING? 

This really took me out of the movie. It was especially frustrating for me because I was ecstatic about Dazai getting stabbed only a few minutes before that climax. Don’t worry, I still care about Dazai, it wasn’t because I wanted him to die or anything! But I was so happy to see him fail! I was so happy to see him being outsmarted by two other people! I was so happy to see him surprised and worried and out of his element! I was so happy to see things not go his way for once!!! It made Dazai feel more real, more human, and more vulnerable! It made Fyodor feel more dangerous, like an actual worthy adversary who had played him like a fiddle! I was thinking that MAYBE just maybe, he would need the help of Atsushi, Aku, Kyouka and the ADA to succeed! I was thinking that it was going to be a character moment for him, where he would realise that he can’t do everything on his own and that if he had told the ADA what was going to happen and what was his plan, things would have worked out better! Hahahahaha ... oh what a clown I was ...

Because nope! Turned out that this all part of Dazai’s plan from the very beginning. He knew that Fyodor would betray him, he knew he would get stabbed, he knew everything that Fyodor and Shibuzawa would do after stabbing him, he knew that all the abilities would turn into a huge dragon (somehow????) and he knew how to stop it. Look, I’m sure that things are explained better in the manga or the novel, and I’m sure that many fans could tell me exactly how he knew all that. But to me, it didn’t feel like Dazai being smart, it felt like he was blessed with the author’s clairvoyance. 

This whole post feels a little messy. I hope that managed to explain what I didn’t like about how Dazai’s genius is portrayed in the story. Dazai RARELY fails which means 1) I’m never actually worried about him even when shit hits the fan 2) I’m not impressed with his intelligence because it’s so infallible that it feels more like Asagir knowing his plot than Dazai actually figuring things out before anyone else 3) if he never fails, I never get to see him grow and learn and change, and so it’s ultimately always the same thing over and over again.

As to how I would improve it ... I mean, just have him fail sometimes you know? Have him fail for real, not as part of an even greater plan. I remember getting excited yet again when Fydor shot him in season 3 but I just got bamboozled yet again. Dazai is literally in jail right now, but I can’t bring myself to care because I just know that it’s all part of a bigger plan and that when he’ll go out he will give us the good all “just as I had planned from the beginning”. I mean, maybe not, who knows, I would LOVE to be surprised by Asagiri on this one! But yeah, the “all according to Keikaku” route seems more likely. 

Also, I’m hesitant to bring this up because I genuinely don’t know if I’m supposed to take it seriously or not but ... the scene with Dazai and Fyodor speaking in a made-up language in prison kind of represents everything I dislike about the genius Dazai trope. Again, maybe I’m reading the scene completely wrong, but to me, it really comes off as “Ooooh look these two are SO SUPERIORLY SMART that no one can understand what they’re saying!!!” and that’s my point. Not to go back to TPN, but I’m impressed with the kids because although I could never come up with the plans they come up with, whenever they explain the plans I actually understand them and even think “wow, that makes so much sense” and that’s what makes it impressive and clever to me. But yeah, like I said, with this specific scene I think I might have genuinely missed what Asagiri was actually trying to do, so I don’t want to dwell on it too much.

So yeah, have Dazai fail every once in a while. I know that Asagiri can write Dazai failing because he has done it before. With Oda.

Not to get hyperbolic on main, but the Oda arc/flashback is kind of a masterpiece in my eyes. That’s Asagiri at his best, showing us what an incredibly talented writer he is. There are many reasons why this arc is so good, but one of the main reasons (in my eyes) is that Dazai fails to save Oda. And this is what has prompted the biggest chance in his character so far.

Dazai and Oda’s relationship was incredible because Oda was the (1) person that Dazai couldn’t read or manipulate and that’s kind of why Dazai couldn’t save him. Dazai is a genius, but with all of his cleverness and tactics and schemes, he couldn’t save the person that he loved the most. And that’s good writing, that’s good drama! That’s a good situation to put Dazai in! Oda wasn’t wrapped around Dazai’s little finger unlike so many other characters in the story, it was kind of the other way around. And it wasn’t because Oda was smarter than Dazai, Oda was actually a very simple man, and that’s what made it all so interesting. I easily get frustrated with Dazai these days, but his relationship with Oda is one of the main elements that will always bring me back to him no matter what.

Of course, I’m not saying that we need to see something as massive as this all the time. Dazai’s failure to save Oda should probably stay unique in the story because it’s such a strong catalyser. This is what prompted the biggest (and arguably only) change in Dazai so far, we don’t need to see something as big again before a while. But like ... small little failures you know? Dazai not being able to read somehow as well as he thought. Dazai miscalculating something. Dazai actually needing someone’s help (and not just as a tool in his plan). 

There are small moments like this in the story mind you, I just wish that there were more. One I really like is during the first half of the Azur King arc. Dazai and Kunikida are each fighting different guys across a warehouse, and it becomes apparent that Dazai can’t defeat his adversary who doesn’t have an ability for him to nullify and is more of a fighter (which Dazai is not), while Kunikida can’t defeat the ability user fighting him. They both realise that they can’t win their fight, quickly assess the situation, find each other in the space, realise that they need to switch adversaries if they want to win, and they do it. AND THAT’S IT. Just Dazai realising that he couldn’t defeat this guy on his own, quickly assessing his options, bouncing back immediately with Kunikida’s help, and saving the day just like that. On a micro-scale, this is what I would like to see more of. Like I said, you have a bunch of small moments like this one in the story and I really appreciate them, but I just wish we could have more of that or at least to have these moments when it matters more.

Okay, so I think that’s mostly it? I hope that everything was clear and that my arguments felt reasonable. Like I said, this might all be a matter of personnel preferences and that’s fine with me. I love Bungou Stray Dogs with all my heart, but there a lot of times where Dazai’s capacity to get away with absolutely everything is genuinely harming my enjoyment for the story. And you know, maybe everything that I’m criticizing here is actually on purpose! In this post, I talked a lot about how Dazai never failing meant that he never need to grow, learn, and change his ways, but I can actually accept that Asagiri is doing this on purpose. I know that part of Dazai’s characterisation is that he doesn’t feel like a human, and so maybe Asagiri is purposely trying to portray him as “inhuman” as possible, and maybe that’s why I feel like I never see him grow or change because he is supposed to be this superior, almost otherworldly and constant presence in the story. Or maybe Asagiri is trying to show us that, despite his best efforts, Dazai will never be able to truly change his ways from Port Mafia and will always remain a detached manipulating person. I don’t really like that option, but maybe that’s the case, who knows? That would be interesting. (I actually think that Dazai is still more motivated by the promise that he made to Oda than by any genuine desire to be a good person, but that’s a whole other subject). All of this would arguably explain what I personally see as a lack of growth, but it still doesn’t help me to believe that Dazai is actually all that smart. Like I keep saying, people saying “it was part of my plan” whenever shit hits the fan is not impressive to me, but people quickly adapting to failures and immediately coming up with new solutions based on what they learned is.

But at the end of the day, this is Asagiri’s story and I would never even dream of telling him what to do with his characters. He is a great writer, and no matter how much I complain about Dazai sometimes, I still trust every decision he makes because I believe that he knows where he is going with him and with the story. 

This post was very long and a little messy, I feel like I repeated myself quite a lot, but I hope it was still interesting! 

Biggest comment in the story

@altairgavin

Hi, you don´t know me and I swear that I just tried to make a simple comment in ao3 like a normal person but I ended up writing 5192 words and I couldn´t post all of this in the platform so...yeah. 

Okay, so I don´t really know if you will read this comment or if you will continue this series (I really hope you do because this series is basically my religion) but regardless of all that, I just read the whole thing and I realized that I needed to write a comment to make you know how utterly and madly in love I am with what you created. I want to say that this really started just as a comment but at some point I honestly lost all focus and I just started to fangirl so hard that I´m embarrassed of myself, I started throwing my opinions, headcanons, and impressions of the characters and this ended up being a mess, so you can just skip this seven pages and read the last paragraph hahaha, I really hope this is not as annoying as I think it is.

So first of all I want to apologize because I know this whole comment will be a mess, English is not my first language and I love this fanfic so much that I can´t even put together two sentences so I just really hope this whole babbling make sense. The first time I realized what this was about I screamed, soukoku is my otp and I can´t begin to explain how much I love them and how special they are for me, and to be able to read them in one of the universes I adore the most? It was like a dream come true but at the same time I was kind of scared cause I´m not really a fan of most of the crossovers that have been written here, however as soon as I started with this I knew I have found gold.  

Your writing is absolutely divine, it stirred memories of an eleven year old me reading harry potter and wishing I was there, it felt like going home but better because I don´t just care for the characters, I LOVE every single one of them. There are so many things to be impressed with this works, so many things I want to say, so many praises I want to give but the thing that really left me breathless were the characters, how you write them? Is an art, they feel complex, they feel real, they feel human. I laugh with the characters, I cry with them, I got angry with them and screamed at them and I can´t praise you enough for that. Actually I want to stop in this part, I already loved this characters with all my soul so I´m always subjective when I read fanfiction, I always care for the characters regardless of how they are written just because they are dazai and chuuya but what you have done here?  is impressive and wonderful and amazing because this is one of the very very few works in which I don´t care just for Asagiri characters, I care for YOUR characters, I love the characters that YOU have created. Don’t misunderstand me, all of your characters are canon compliant, the way you manage to respect the characterizations is probably one of the bigger reasons I´m so deeply in love with this works, you have written my favorite dazai of all the dazais I´ve ever read and the one I consider more in character but what I admire the most? What truly leaves me speechless?  is how you make this characters canon compliant and still manage to make them grow and develop. If canon chuuya and dazai were transported to Hogwarts at that age, this is exactly they way I think they would act like. I want to tell you how much I admire you cause I know that neither chuuya nor dazai are easy characters to write, both of them are extremely complex specially if you are writing about them in an au, and I´m completely amazed of how you did it. They are tridimensional characters, they feel so so human and it´s so easy to love them. Every single thing in this au is so clever and amazingly done, it´s pretty obvious how much effort you put in this because everything is so well thought. I think one of the most intelligent decisions was to have this story narrated by Chuuya because he really is the perfect protagonist (better that harry in my opinion), he is so lovable and relatable and just a wonderful character to read. I love how he feels so real, he is intelligent and he has seen things that no kid should´ve seen, he is resilient, but he still is vulnerable, he is struggling with humanity, and with no having memories and then out of nowhere he is in this world full of magic in which he finds incredible people and he finds a home with them. I love how he is brave, and loyal to death, honest and he cares so damn much but at the same time I love how deeply flawed he is, chuuya is still chuuya, he is bad tempered and impulsive, he´s not really good with feelings and he gets scared and sometimes he doesn´t know how to communicate but he is there and he is trying, one of the reasons that it´s so easy to get into the story it´s because we have the best protagonist we could ask for. Now I want to make a (huge) parenthesis to talk about how absolutely insane is your writing, you are literally what every author refers to when they talk about “show not tell” one of my favorite scenes not just from fanfiction but from all the books I´ve ever read it’s the scene after Dazai is petrified. I think about that scene constantly and I still think it´s a masterpiece. Chuuya relationship with dazai is so damn incredible (I´m going to talk about this later) but it´s also difficult, I´m gonna make a little character study of chuuya because your character is so good that I really want to fangirl about him, of course this is just my perspective and I could be wrong but okay, chuuya is twelve, he has never been so close with someone and from my perspective I don’t think he has sorted out his feeling for dazai yet.  I think he knows that he cares for him so much more than he should, I think he knows that dazai is special to him in a way that no one is, he knows that his trust for dazai is on a whole different level, and he is clearly PINING (Even though I don´t think he has realized). From our point of view is so obvious that he loves him but for him? It isn´t that obvious. He can´t even explain his relationship with him, he knows that dazai is the closest person to him but he still feels reluctant to call him a friend (I think it´s because a part of him knows that what he feels for dazai is bigger than that, that his feelings for him are completely different from his feelings for kunikida, tachihara or tanizaki but I´m just theorizing) and I think it´s also because dazai is a lot sometimes, he is annoying and cunning and whiny and difficult so the normal response would be to be annoyed for him, right? And he is but at the same time he still likes him, so I feel like chuuya doesn´t know what to do with all those feelings and dazai doesn´t make it easy and he doesn´t know what dazai feels for him, so he tries to act like he doesn´t care that much, like he isn´t really affected even though he clearly is. This makes this whole thing better because:

a)       Is completely in character with chuuya

b)      Is perfectly in character for EVERY 12yo (really I acted just like this when I was his age)

c)       Makes this so much more entertaining and funny to read.

The best thing is that chuuya doesn´t act this way for the others, he actually wants to trick himself into thinking that he doesn´t care, in conclusion, nakahara chuuya in an unreliable narrator and I LIVE for that. So that scene after Dazai is petrified is amazing in every sense of the word because he knows that he won´t sleep, he knows that he is feeling too much and for us the readers is pretty clear that he is a mess, but he still tries to act like he doesn´t feel like falling into pieces. That conversation with kouyou is the best thing in the world. I LOVE that he can´t admit that he is feeling sad or scared, even in his mind he can´t admit it so he copes with anger because he can manage that. He says that he is pissed,  the best thing is that we are in his mind and even then chuuya tries to act like he is fine but the narration makes pretty damn clear that he is not fooling anyone. Kouyou knows that chuuya is fighting tears, and we know it too because the narration says it in a really subtle way.

“He took a deep breath and swallowed down the irritating lump in his throat” “He chewed his lip and breathed through his nose, trying to settle his racing heart” Is mentioned but chuuya doesn´t really stop to think about it because he is too busy acting like he is just angry. This whole thing makes the character more real, more interesting and a whole lot more complex because we can see the layers in him.

Here we have an actual paragraph of chuuya lying to himself: “Chuuya squeezes his eyes shut for a moment to repel the dry stinging threatening to give way tears, which was stupid because he wasn´t sad or afraid” and how he gets angry when he got called out “Chuuya wiped at his eyes, furious at them for betraying something he didn´t want to admit he was feeling”

And then we have Queen Kouyou who KNOWS.

“It´s not as if you´re completely honest with your emotions either, lad” Honestly I love how she knows how much they care for each other, how she clearly sees the mutual pining and how they are struggling with their emotions because they are kids, because neither of them have had feelings like this before and they are so emotional constipated it hurts but even with that she doesn’t say anything to chuuya, she knows that Chuuya has to figure that in his own, she knows that he still isn´t ready to aknowledge or face his feelings so she is just there to guide him and listen to him and honestly? SHE IS THE REAL QUEEN and I can´t begin to explain how much I love her.

I made all that gigantic mess to say that I love the way you narrate things, how even with out making it obvious we know what the characters are feeling and honestly? That´s fucking good writing. The way you make me feel everything the characters are feeling is a gift and I know that a lot of writers would kill to have that ability. This scene will forever be special for me, you really made something incredible there. And it´s not the only scene, the scene in the third book in which he tries to convince himself that he is not worried for dazai but he still looks for him when the dementors appear, because dazai is his safe place and also because if he feels danger his first instinct is to be with dazai so he can protect him too, or I really love how he immediately realized that dazai is not as clingy as always and that he is maintaining his physical distance and even when he never says it IT´S SO DAMN CLEAR HOW MUCH THAT IS BUGGING HIM. He is so annoyed but he can´t say it so he just acts like he isn´t. And that moment in the second book in which he screamed at dazai that he wanted him to stay lives in my mind rent free but I´m going to talk about this scene later.

I don´t really want to talk about Dazai because this clearly isn´t a comment anymore and its more of an essay with lots of fangirling and believe me, I can make a WHOLE character study from your Dazai because he is bloody brilliant and the best one I´ve read so far, I´m going to summarize this as much as I can. HE IS AMAZING. I think Dazai is the most difficult character to write because he is a contradictory character. I love lots of fanfiction but at the end most of the time I feel like Dazai´s personality is completely different from the canon and I get it, to write such a difficult character must be a nightmare. Most of the fanfics I´ve read basically portray him as this cold, lethal mafia boss that is completely whipped by chuuya to the point were he kind of resembles to every single male lead in every generic YA novel or go to the opposite with dazai being a massive and cruel asshole to the point that I just want to shot him or this  goofy character and I think the difficult part is that he can be all those things but it isn´t everything he is. And you found the perfect balance, and from my perspective he is just perfect, he is so complex and full of layers. He feels bad and kind of hollow and just like chuuya he is struggling with his humanity (Exactly like in canon), people call him “the demon kid” I don´t think that he really thinks of himself as just a kid, he is constantly bored but when he finds something that catch his interest he can´t let go, he doesn´t care for a lot of people but when he does he would kill and die for that people. He is brilliant and funny, and so charismatic that even when you want to slap him you can´t help but love him (again, just like canon Dazai) he is also dramatic and whiny but he still is cunning, and a liar and manipulative and he can be really cruel when he wants to be, he is even worse dealing with emotions than chuuya and I can´t even begin to address how much I adore him, he is so in character that every time I read him I want to cry of joy.

“He is definitely the type to freeze up and self destruct when he gets scared. Thinks too much and gets paranoid too” THAT WHOLE STATEMENT IS DAZAI, RIGHT THERE, YOU JUST DESCRIBED HIM SO WELL THAT I LEGIT SCREAMED THE FIRST TIME I READ IT. When he recollected the slugs and gave them to chuuya in Christmas and at the end of the first book? Also completely in character, how he always is there teasing chuuya and being ridiculous clingy but the moment he feels vulnerable he panics and try to put as much distance as possible, how he is so protective because people always leave him, how he is really possessive of chuuya and try to keep all his attention centered in himself it´s actually canon. 15 yo dazai did exactly that. I love that even if he is possessive with chuuya it´s pretty clear that he doesn´t see him as an object, he loves chuuya (even though I´M PRETTY SURE he hasn´t realized, honestly at this point I can physically feel his pining and even with that he is even more emotional stupid than chuuya so I think its gonna be a loooooong time before he realizes about his own feelings) chuuya is his partner and he worries for him so much that he doesn´t know what to do with himself, he gets scared by his own feelings and ends up acting like an ass. your dazai is the best thing I´ve ever read in my whole life. I love your chuuya, but damn, I would die for your dazai. And once again I want to scream about  how impressive it is that even when the story is being told by chuuya, we still get a good idea of what´s happening with dazai and what he is feeling, he is evolving and he also keeps getting better as a character and again its amazing cause he isn´t the one narrating, but he is still so damn well done? I also LOVE the delicacy in how you are talking about his mental health. So, this is really personal but I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and I really can relate with your dazai, I love the way you write about it, dazai in this au is young he is still not the depressed and actively suicidal person of canon, I don´t know if in this au he is going to get to that point but the 13 yo dazai who actively looks for dangerous situations without care for his life is an incredible way to showing that dazai is not precisely healthy. I love his coping mechanisms, how first he acts all happy with fake smiles and try to change topic, when that doesn´t work he becomes an ass to try to push people away and when that also fails he ends up avoiding the person. Your dazai is so fucking real and I love him with all my soul.

All the characters in this series are amazing, I have already talked a little bit about Kouyou but she is incredible, the best teacher in the world and my queen, the friendship between yosano, ranpo, louisa and Poe is everything I needed in life. Yosano and Ranpo betting on chuuya´s relationship with dazai is one of the things I love the most in this whole au because they know too but they are jerks who just are there betting when skk is going to realize and I´M LIVING FOR THAT.  The chaotic energy of ranpo is so entertaining to read. Tachihara is so well done, how much he admires and cares for chuuya, how he is really jealous of dazai and how he doesn´t know how to act about it,  odasaku is flawless and I really like ango, tanizaki and kunikida.  I love your Akutagawa and atsushi with every part of my self.

Now that I talked about how your writing is evocative, addictive and just wonderful and how I would die for your characters I want to talk about the relationships because OMG I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! Let´s start with the one between dazai and chuuya. Their relationship is so heartwarming and my heart swells with so much love every time I think about them. I love how their relationship feels so natural from the very beginning, it just feels right. My favorite thing about it it´s that even though it´s natural is not easy. Their relationship is complicated just like them. They are perfectly imperfect. They are exactly what soukoku stands for, they are partners, they push the other to be better, they challenge each other, they put the other out of their comfort zone, truly “only a diamond can polish a diamond” they are opposites in almost every way and that´s how it is supposed to be, it´s because of that that they are able to compliment the other so well but that also means that in many many ways their relationship is also a mess. They clash a lot, they don´t always understand each other. One of my favorite things is how chuuya feels kind of insecure around odasaku because odasaku is always calm and collected, he just understands dazai and it seems like he does it easily while he struggles all the time. I love chuuya exactly because of that, chuuya is not the kind of person who just understands and that´s okay and in many ways I think  that´s exactly what Dazai needs. Chuuya won´t just understand, he will tell him when he is acting like an idiot, he will tell him when is time to fucking stop, he will be there and call him out when dazai is too afraid to face things. One of my favorite things is that how they get mad, that they don´t always like each other but they still love each other. How even when it´s difficult they want to be together, how at the end of the day after the fights and bickering they know that the other is gonna be there, that they are not alone and what is most beautiful than that? They are kids that grew up in the most horrible situations. Chuuya was alone, without memories, without family, he didn´t have anything, on the other side there was dazai who grew up with a slimy and horrible person who constantly tries to manipulate him and use him at his convenience, he never had a homemade food, he was empty and hollow and they were so lonely and then this kids find each other. I love how messy their relationship is. Is difficult to figure your feelings when you are a teenager and for them? It´s a lot harder, they never had anyone who taught them what it was to be loved, they grew up in a horrible world, they are terribly emotional constipated, they can´t fucking communicate to save their lives (Also a very canon thing), they have unhealthy coping mechanisms and apart from all of that they are also opposites in almost every way of course they are going to clash, of course they get mad, of course they don´t know how to fix things, this is a first for both of them but they are trying. I love how even if chuuya hasn´t realize the depth of his feelings for dazai, he still is very conscious that he choose dazai, that he could´ve trust yosano, kunikida, tachihara or someone else with his story but he trusted dazai, he choose to trust dazai, he choose to be his partner and dazai did the same for him. They are in this together even when sometimes they drive each other crazy.

The scene after Louisa is petrified is one of my favorites because I think it perfectly portrays their relationship. That was the first scene in which chuuya truly was angry with dazai and it wasn´t about dazai being an ass or doing things purposely to get chuuya mad, actually he didn´t do anything wrong and he is confused because this time he really doesn´t know where he went wrong. I love that chuuya also knew that dazai didn´t do anything bad but he still was angry because he couldn´t help it. They faced a situation and they act differently, dazai was being rational and doing what he thought was the best, chuuya knows that but he was scared and he needed dazai by his side in that moment, he didn´t want rationality. In that fight neither of them did anything wrong, they just had different reactions and that´s something that happens, I love how we know for sure that chuuya loves dazai but sometimes he still needs time away from him so he walked with louisa and ranted about dazai with her and I think it´s the same for dazai, of course chuuya is definitely not as difficult as him to be with but he also needs his time alone (we know that from what he says about he walking at night because he can´t sleep) or with ango or odasaku. I love how even if neither of them know what they are feeling or doing, they are so into each other and oh my god they are pining so hard.  They are still kids, there isn´t any real physical attraction yet, they aren´t in the point of “being in love” in the traditional more adult way but they already love each other so much and it really hits me how we know that just from the narrative, specially in chuuya´s case. He won´t say it but he is hyper aware of Dazai, he always notices when dazai is smiling and the he starts smiling too, he knows when dazai is giving a fake smile, and when he is tense or sad or angry. He tries his best to learn more of dazai and it´s pretty obvious that he treasures the little things he has learned about him even if it´s something as simple as his favorite color. I love how they look for each other touch even when neither of them have a lot experience with physical contact. I totally imagine them like one of those couples that are touching each other all the time in the future and you know the worst part? I don´t think anyone will be surprised. Dazai is already all over chuuya most of the time (except in this book and I also want to know why) they have holden each other hands and wrists, they lean into the other, they have cuddled to sleep, they have hugged and held each other and that always makes me feel all giddy inside. AND THE TRUST, the inhuman trust that characterize soukoku is right there and it has me sobbing.

So again, this is just my point of view and I can be totally wrong, but from my perspective is so funny to see them pining without them knowing that they are. I read “Chuuya Nakahara and the Time that Doesn't Exist” and Dazai was pining so hard from the very first moment (I mean, I don´t blame him. Chuuya truly is the most beautiful person on earth). Once I read your comment about how chuuya is pining for dazai but at that point of the story was just a tree while dazai´s pining was an entire forest and I CAN TOTALLY SEE THAT, but at the same time I headcanon that even if Dazai is the one pining harder, he is also the most oblivious about his own feelings? But I don´t know maybe he is already completely aware of his feelings for chuuya and I´m just making a mess of things hahaha. I love that chuuya kind of knows but at the same time he doesn´t, his denial is so strong that he can´t even think of that but at the same time we know that at least deep, deep, deeeeep down he kind of knows and we have the funniest most relatable reactions everytime someone even suggest that they feel more than friendship and he is just there choking with things, blushing and desperately trying to change the topic. I swear those scenes are my favorite ones, I´m always there laughing my ass off and wishing I was with yosano and ranpo to bet about skk love life.

“-He´s just…my partner

The tanizaki sibling´s eyebrows shot upward

-Let´s go find a compartiment, Atsushi” Chuuya grumbled, face warming up”

“-You can still love people even if they annoy you from time to time.

The second year´s face heated up alarmingly fast as he almost breaks the glass of orange juice with his grip- I don´t—why would you think I—what the hell is all that supposed to mean?

-That you care about him?

-That is not what you said”

“-What would you call yourselves then? Confidants? Lovers?

Chuuya choked”

JUST LOOK AT HIM, HE IS A MESS, OMG I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, MY SWEET STUPID CHILD IN DENIAL.

Soukoku relationship in this au is everything I needed in life to be happy, thank you for creating it.

And the relationship between chuuya and kouyou? *Chef kiss* is so damn good, I love how they deeply care for each other, and how she is always there to help him when he needs her, I love how she even stands for dazai in his own way and how she is literally the best adult in existence. I love how she is always teaching chuuya things and wants the better for him, so she is kind of strict but at the same time she is spoiling him. I love chuuya relationship with Arthur and paul, they have this parental kind of relationship, they obviously care and like chuuya a lot and Arthur is there acting like the overprotective father for chuuya (sometimes acting like a judgemental asshole) and how chuuya thinks of their house as the closest thing to a home have me in tears. I love dazai´s relationship with odasaku and ranpo and how much they care for him, I love that oda is always there to listen to him not matter what. I love chuuya and tanizaki´s friendship, I adore shin soukoku relationship even though we haven´t seen much of them but it´s already amazing. We see bitter, angsty Akutagawa following dazai like is his light vs the sweet precious atsushi and how they bicker and god I´M EMO FOR THEM, I LOVE THEM. Let´s talk about ranpo, yosano, louisa and Edgar friendship again because their chaotic energy is everything I asked for, they love each other and are there being brilliant and funny and I WOULD DIE FOR THEM.

I also want to make a point of how much I love your dialogues, because I FUCKING LOVE THEM WITH ALL MY SOUL. I want to fangirl about more scenes, I want to talk about the unicorn and their fist hug, I want to talk about chuuya first birthday, I want to talk about the Christmas with Rimbaud and Verlaine, and about the scenes in the infirmary in the third book, I want to talk about my theories about the plot and about chuuya and corruption but at this point this thing is scary and I already look like a crazy person so I will stop here.

This started as a comment, this clearly isn´t a comment anymore and it turned into an essay with character studies and relationship studies and probably me overanalyzing things, I hope this whole thing isn´t as crazy as I think it is. But if you want to take something from this whole thing is that you are an amazing writer, that you are creative and have a wonderful, startling style, that you make characters and relationships so incredible that there´s a person who is willing to write seven pages about them, because they are inspiring and breathtaking, that there are scenes that will live with me forever. This fanfic is everything I would ask for, I would love to see you continue the series, there are still lots of things I want to see, a lot of characters I want to meet but if this is the last one you are willing to write (even though I really hope it´s not the case) I just want to thank you for creating something as amazing as this. Thank you for sharing this amazing content with us and if you decide to continue the series then I will be right there, screaming like crazy and fangirling really hard.

The Men of Yoshiwara: Ohgiya Part 2 - Asagiri Route

Hmmm, I don’t know how to feel about Asagiri yet, he seems really playful and teasing right now, but he also feels really mysterious. I love how Asagiri dropped cherry blossom petals up from his room down to Kiyoha as if in greeting for their third meeting (which is also the one where they will have sex). In a sense, Asagiri is very mesmerising but also scary. When Kiyoha was unsure of her affection of him and whether to go through with the intercourse on this meeting, he literally ended up cutting a lock of his hair to give to her to show her how much he “loves” her. I feel like Asagiri does so many over the top actions not in order to gain Kiyoha’s affection, but instead to try and get himself to feel something for her? It feels like he’s the one that’s in constant doubt and he’s the one that wants to find someone to trust and love by doing these things. I think it’s nice that Asagiri just chose to have her sleep beside him for the night so that she can get used to him.

Musashi is so sweet and thoughtful, I’m dying. He knows her so well that he practically knows what she’s thinking all the time and he always does what she can’t do for her, he’s so great! I love how he helped her get permission to go to the festival when she had given up on even asking. I think he really helps and encourages her whilst giving her room to grow up on her own and I like that so much. I didn’t expect Asagiri to have come from the mainland to this island in his teens and voluntarily as well! I’m not sure how voluntarily it actually is since he’s definitely hiding some kind of sadness, but he does really seem in a sense satisfied with his life right now. But I think the fact that he still remembers how to make a candy sculpture so well shows how much he misses his family. And omgggg Asagiri is so sensual, he legit shared a ball of candy to Kiyoha through kisses and wouldn’t stop until most of it melted, like dang. Wow, well that went badly quite randomly lol. I know Kiyoha was embarrassed and sad that Asagiri straight up rejected her when she spontaneously proposed the idea of buying him, but seriously, she herself acknowledged that it was rude of her to just think about herself and not his feelings or even her mother’s feelings on this so she really had no right to get so mad at him and leave. And honestly, I feel like lots of women would propose such a thing to him so I’m not surprised if he didn’t take her seriously, I mean, for one, they’ve barely spent that much time together, why would he really trust her in doing something so drastic. Also, he seems to be quite serious about not knowing how to live outside of Yoshiwara. I’m assuming maybe his body is weak or he doesn’t have the skills to live a normal life?

I was wondering why Kiyoha’s mother was practically hounding her to keep going to Yoshiwara for an heir, but I see, Kiyoha’s mother had a difficult time trying to conceive a child and it took a long time for her to have Kiyoha, so she doesn’t want her to experience the same thing. It’s understandable I guess, just kinda saddening since Kiyoha has barely started going to Ohgiya, like she literally just became of age and they already want a kid!!? Let her go at her own pace for a bit at least lol. I can’t believe she ignored all Asagiri’s letters and chose another geisha (Takigawa) to drink the night away with, and then she blames Asagiri for not thinking about or understanding her feelings?! Kiyoha, when have you ever thought about Asagiri’s feelings? You didn’t even bother listening to them properly. He even had to be the one to constantly initiate and be ignored, yet she blames him for being the thoughtless and cruel one. Like wow. Although I really don’t like Kiyoha in this route, when Asagiri sincerely told her he loved her and said he wanted to hug her, he felt so…real. I’m glad she finally properly apologised to Asagiri. It’s kinda crazy how Kiyoha’s idea of importing foreign clothes from the mainland (due to the influence of Asagiri) has landed their shop in debt due to sudden exorbitant transport costs. It’s a bit jarring to see how childish Kiyoha was with Asagiri and then be so mature now in handling this affair lol. On the other hand, Musashi is still as great as always, being loyal to Kiyoha no matter what happens and staying beside her through this, it’s so sweet. Omg, I can’t believe Asagiri literally gave all his hard earned savings to her so she can save her shop, and he even offered to give his future earnings to her, like wow, he’s really giving everything to her. It’s like imagine if she was actually a liar lol. Anyway, I’m glad she didn’t disappoint him and is steadily bringing her shop back up, but it’s saddening that she doesn’t have the spare money to visit him, so all she knows is that Asagiri has taken on more clients and is a really popular geisha now. I wonder how their promise to reunite and then have him leave Ohgiya will turn out.

Okay, wow, I didn’t expect to feel this much towards Asagiri, especially considering how confused I felt towards him in the beginning. But wow, his undying love for Kiyoha, his willingness to give everything to her, whether it be his money, his love, his body and all his hard work, it makes me feel so bad to have questioned his love before, because really, he’s so supportive it hurts. Not only does he give the money he earns to Kiyoha, he also found a trader to sell her clothing, I’m glad it turned out for the better when Asagiri’s popularity helped her sell the different variations of the coat she made for him. It was honestly really sweet when he refused to give the one she gave him to the trader as a product to show to buyers though haha, it’s so crazy how smitten he is with Kiyoha. And I think the reason why even though in a sense it could have been dodgy since he was financially supporting her for quite a while, it didn’t turn out to just be a blessing for Kiyoha. In a sense, Asagiri probably needed this push as well. Yes, it’s true that Asagiri was satisfied with living in Yoshiwara as a geisha like this, living a carefree life doing the only thing he could do, but after he interacted with Kiyoha, argued with her and found out how important love could be to him and how much it could change him, she also gave him a reason to live imo. He’s always been satisfied but has never really wanted anything more, but by being with Kiyoha and supporting her when she needed it most, I feel like she gave him more meaning to life, where he actually actively worked hard for her, and also for himself so he could retire and be with her. I think it was nice that she was able to influence him into thinking that there’s more to life than Yoshiwara, and there’s more to life than just sticking with what he’s comfortable with, and that there can be things for him to look forward to. He doesn’t need to be just a pretty flower in Yoshiwara, and I kinda like that.

I honestly thought something was going to happen when Asagiri’s parents came, and that we’ll get some reveal more about why Asagiri left the mainland, but nope, it was rather random and useless lol. Aside from freedom, I’m not really sure about why Asagiri left, and in a sense since he ended up going to Yoshiwara, I felt like Asagiri just kinda swapped cages from mainland candier to geisha lol. I guess maybe it was to show that there really was no such thing as freedom for Asagiri until he met Kiyoha. Overall, I think I feel rather complicated towards this route. On one hand, I quite enjoyed it because I think it was really interesting to see how smitten Asagiri was with Kiyoha and how he found someone he could willingly give everything to, but on the other hand, I felt like Kiyoha was rather childish lol. But I think I’d say I enjoyed it, I think it evoked some feelings from me rather than just the usual apathy so I guess that’s nice lol. I guess I wasn’t too fond of the process, but I did enjoy the cultivation of their bond after everything they went through together. I think it’s nice to see that Asagiri has found something to live properly for and I guess that’s the highlight haha.