#i am really proud of myself :3
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i’ve always been bad about getting photos of myself but i’ve been making a real effort to document my recovery from top surgery, no rhyme or reason to when i take photos it’s just kind of when i remember, but i was just looking back at everything and the way i glowed up so hard in so many ways in the span of a few months is kind of impressive
#what escaping abuse getting surgery moving to a better apartment eating better and starting a new job that pays well does to a man#me now vs me in november are like not the same person#i did intentionally cut my hair a little shorter than i like it right before surgery for hygene reasons but i’ve grown my hair out#to a style and length that really suits me and i get complements on my hair a lot#which NEVER used to happen#i grew my little gayboy mustache and my skin cleared up a ton#and i huch less and am just a lot more muscular and fit than i was before#like i was recovering from surgery yeah but i really did NOT look healthy in some of the ‘before’ photos#but i’ve put on some healthy weight which makes me feel rly good#and idk i’m also just dressing better because i want to and feel confident doing so and im way less stressed about. just about everything#like wow i really lived the worst and lowest moments of my life and was like ‘light work no reaction’ & dragged myself out of that bullshit#and it wasn’t even that long ago but i’ve come so so far#i am really proud of myself :3#yayyy!! ❤️ yippee!! ❤️
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Dress to Impress Chapter 1: Open Invitations is out right now on AO3!!!
Illustrations for the fic under the [read more], but I do suggest to try and enjoy them in a fic for more fun experience. ;D
Thanks for checking it out. ;3
#my immortal soul#first ninja#rc9gn first ninja#chase young#ninja showdown#xiaolin showdown#rc9gn#randy cunningham 9th grade ninja#CANT BELIEVE IM DOING IT IVE POSTED a 3-d FIC ABOUT THESE FUCKERS AND ITS GONNA BE MULTICHAPTER#(completely ignoring the fact that its not even finished but im hyping this first chapter so much lol. no idea where its coming from)#(probably because this is the most ive written in years. but hey im proud of myself so im allowed to be happy ;) i do hope my fellow mis#shippers enjoy it to ;3 i certainly am enjoying it. so much in fact i overdid it with illustrations lol like i really didnt need a chapter#cover but i did it anyway because ;))) fun ;))))
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~pretty in pink~
#this session was a good reminder that i am in a constant state of practice#it challenged me in a way that put my communication to the test#im really proud of myself and my rope partner for the ways we’ve grown and continue to grow <3#shibari suspension#rope baby#ropebunny#rope bottom#soft aesthetic#pinkcore#coquette#gloomy dollette#softette#morute#ropes by patricia columnbind#my pics
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i am short of breath
standing next to you.
i am out of my depth
at this altitude.
-♡-
#ffxiv gpose#myrrbert#wolbert#a'myrrhis venko#ardbert hylfyst#hello. i've been having A Time lately so i decided to cheer myself up with some disgustingly sweet gpose shenanigans#and it worked ;w; look at them... babies.....#and MAN i am kinda proud of these esp how the lighting and the angles worked out!!! and the hands!!! i had to futz with the fingers so much#but they line up quite nicely which is very satisfying#i am commited to their matching bracelets too. it was a joke initially but they are canon now. lil keepsakes for when they are apart#also ignore me with the sleeping at last lyrics again lmao but they're just. so perfect.#also just as a side note these are NOT wedding pictures lmaooo my partner saw them and was like#'aww they're getting married!' but that was not the intention#they're just in all white because i thought it'd look really nice with the purple forest#(and i was right about that)#ANYWAYS#sorry for the ranting i am just. excited. to have produced something really nice imho#and to see those two together <3#i should talk about them more but i always get shy and embarrassed lmao but maybe i will do that sometime#anyways!
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man writes a fanfiction . makes art for said fanfiction .
hi yes this is tony lore . and digitaltime . rolled up into one .
#yess i wrote and uploaded a fanfiction#i made this little art thingy thing for it cuz like 1) people don't typically interact with my posts if i dont and 2) i really wanted to –#– have fanart done for this . cuz im super proud of it . but i know no one would make it . so i just did it myself !!!#frankly . i am proud of this . both the drawing and the little fic#but#how much do you want to bet that . even if i proof read this like 3 times . there are still a bunch of spelling mistakes ?#heh#i digress#this was a lot of fun to make !!! so y'know :3#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis fanfic#dhmis au#high voltage au#dhmis ship#dhmis tony#tony the talking clock#dhmis hv tony#dhmis colin#colin the computer#dhmis hv colin#yeah sorry buddy boy but you don't get to appear in the art for this . vampire cock boy is my favourite character .#dhmis digital time#digitaltime#ao3#ao3 fanfic#silly :3#oh yeah also i named all the chapters by The Caretaker songs#just so y'all knew
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gayass looking squid
#splatoon#salmon run#splatsona#sona xenon#sunny’s art#errm this is like a celebration piece I made for myself#since I picked up salmon run again during inkblot big run exactly a year ago!!#a year of progress and I am now cutely 800+ hours in this game and cracked at salmon run <3#I’m proud of my badges :3c I worked hard for them#I only really play salmon run idrc about pvp#anyways I’m excited for big run next week I’m gonna aim for top 5% again
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The thing is I am definitely not happy or chill in the Immediate Sense lately but I am, big picture, so fucking happy with the person I am.
It's like. My brain was made by and for consistent trauma and since that trauma stopped about 5-7 years ago, it is incredible what the amount of resilience and cleverness and flexibility and thoughtfulness I developed to survive can do when it's not being all spent on surviving. like I had a hundred ton weight on me so I had to get REALLY STRONG to stay in the same place and not get 100% crushed, and when that weight came off I found I can use the strength it used to take to stand up and I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
I was talking to my mum the other day and she said, "you've got the 'fuck it' energy at 30 that most women don't find until their fifties at least" and I'm like yeah man. Imagine how unstoppable I'll be in 20 years.
#red said#i don't know that i can express this clearly but it's the most encouraging thing in my life#my mum's always been proud of me but just lately she seems to actually really admire me#like she's genuinely impressed. she thinks I've surpassed her. i don't necessarily agree but it's a really nice quiet joy.#anyway like this sounds super up myself and it kind of is.#but also it's part of realising just how heavy the weight I've been carrying around with me for 25 years was#like not to be ridiculous but i have realised again this week. that it isn't that everyone's been raped that much and doesn't talk about it#i just have been raped an Unusually Consistent Amount. i have spoken to a lot of people who have had much more horrifying things happen.#I'm not sure I've talked to more than a couple of people who've had a similar level of total consistency of abuse from all angles#and the one is not heavier or harder to bear that the other. but. i think i spent most of my life listening to people's awful experiences#and going ok well nothing i went through looked that bad so it's microtrauma#obviously microtraumas build up but still.#then the older i get and the more i have these conversations the more I notice that stuff which to me is a microtrauma#is a lot of people's defining trauma. and they're reacting appropriately which means i am SO SEVERELY UNDERREACTING#told my friend the other day about a time someone who i still like and respect was having sex with me when i paralocated my hip#and then just kept getting really annoyed with me for not being ready to have sex again while i was literally crying with pain#until i caved and just tried to find the last painful position#and my friend was like pal what the fuck that's horrific#and i was like i mean no that's normal I've had sex with like maybe 3 or 4 people in my life who i haven't had similar stuff with#like i am genuinely thrown when i am allowed to say no to sex and have it be the end of the conversation. and not end up having sex#out of guilt or out of physical coercion or through physical rape. and i have had sex with probably like 40 people at this stage?#and I'm not sure it's as many as 4 i haven't had that experience with tbh#so like. I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea#that i may have actually been doing a hell of a lot of heavy lifting.#like i developed a sense of self that can survive being constantly crushed and at this stage is fucking diamond.
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3️⃣RD BATCH OF ARTFARTS BABEYYY!!!!!!😌😌😌🤩
[ Owners of characters in order: @fridaydevils // fridaydevils, @ramonias // ramonias, Skystellations, @bugwizard // Dog, @mintmilk-art // MintMilk ]
#artfight 2023#shaking QUAKING at the fact im @ing these super cool artists with my little art post HHHNNGG#BUT I MUST#EVEN IF IT SCARES ME AUUUGH#LIKE WHO AM I TO @ SUCH SKILLED ARTISTS#OUGH#AUGH#ITS OK BERRI U GOT THIS#THANKS BERRI#Anyways HIII#God i am so proud of this third batch#Like i cannot stop staring at them im so proud ???#also its just july 10 and ive already made like#23 pieces for artfight?#people probably have made more BUT still i think im really pushing myself! both in a good and bad way HAH#some days i just feel so tired and fatigued to draw :[#but some days i can make 3 pieces EASY#But berri u dont have to make like 3 pieces per day >:[[ REST!!
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2023 Year End Fic Wrap Up
Tagged by @cr-noble-writes. Thank you!
Words written (published or not, WIPs totally count too!):
Published: 65,113
Unpublished: 41,773
Total: 106,886
It feels like I wrote a lot less this year than previous years, but I think it’s less about word count and more that my two big projects, Fugue and Mezzo, sucked up my entire mental bandwidth and I just didn’t have capacity to kick out one shots like I have in the past. I have a bunch of ideas for fun one shots, but not enough time or energy to realize them.
Also, this number is by no means accurate. My Mezzo Leftovers document is sitting at 11.3k, and Fugue finished up with a scrapheap of 28.3k. Gosh, it's hard to believe Fugue was actually 2023. It feels like years ago. Just writing it aged me 10 years. XD
Smut scenes written (if applicable): None. Did I daydream frequently and in great detail about how Sam and Kaidan reconcile in ME3? Yes. Could I write it in my sleep at this point? Also yes. Did I write a word of it? No.
New things I tried: 2nd person POV, Mordin POV, and EDI POV were all new and very scary things I tried, and think were largely successful (jury is still out on EDI and Mordin because only my beta has seen it, but I’m pleased with them).
Fic I spent the most time on: Probably Mezzo, because I wrote more of it than Fugue in 2023.
Fic I spent the least time on: Probably Capriccio, because it was short and mostly wrote itself.
Favourite thing I wrote: Well…I wrote so little outside of the long fics, because they have sucked up all my time and spoons. Fugue is something I am so proud of, but Mezzo has been so fun.
Favourite thing I read: A Sip of Serenity was a Spec Recs Kaidan & Liara treat fic for me by @screwyouflightlieutenant and I love it with an unholy love. Also, Madrigal and Volta by @dandenbo are PHENOMENAL stories you should drop everything and read.
Writing goals for next year: Finishing Mezzo sounds ambitious, but I guess I can be ambitious in January. XD
Tagging...I don't know! Who hasn't done this? If you haven't, please do it and tag me, because I wanna see. @stormikins? @otemporanerys?
#mememe#2023 year in review#meme replies#how writing is written#i've been feeling Some Kind of Way about writing lately#not frustration or apathy towards WRITING#i am still loving the hell out of that part#but this general malaise and mental exhaustion that takes away my spoons to write is becoming something i really resent#if i could take a 2-3 month sabbatical and just...rest and write and recover from...[gestures broadly] this#i think i'd be a whole new person#but alas#capitalism and all#i think i need to just be more firm with myself that writing good stories take time#i don't do me or anyone else any favors by fretting about speed and schedule#if mezzo takes forever#people will either stick around to read it or they won't#it's more important i write the story i will be proud of#anyway i've had a lot on my mind lately#Deep Thoughts With Swaps#or something#it's just weird feeling creatively pumped up and also utterly demotivated at the same time#the spirit is willing but the Swaps is very very tired
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Red Eyes and Evil Time, practically the same thing right (Patreon)
#Doodles#Villainsona#Just Desserts#Sona double feature!#Red Eyes and Evil Time /are/ different for the record lol#There's overlap and they're both eye details but they're different#Mmm Red Eyes feels so niiiice <3 And I've been pacing myself so it's Just Red Eyes!#No red shines :) Which can happen even on Red Eyes#In fact it's probably more common - the red shines on Blue Eyes was something of an oddity#No one knows the lore except me I'll explain someday lol#For now it's just fun to be in Red Eyes! :D And the occasional Evil Time as well lol - all the overlaps!#I somehow accidentally made a like?? Cotton Candied Popcorn themed outfit for Eli for the first one lol that wasn't my intention#I mean it's cute I'm not about to fight it lol I'd love for my sonas to have other clothes inspired by each other haha#Eli's eyes are still quite fun to draw as well haha those bright pops of colour - Red Purple or Blue they're all so stark and shaped#Back to their classic feminine outfit good for them uwu#Silly lad#They're also still a scientist first and foremost - it's all chemicals there's gotta be a way to recreate it externally!#Local vampire scientist creates mood stabilizers more at 7 lol#I'm quite pleased with the three-red two-purple one-blue gradient as well hehe - the decay! :D I like it as a visual#Charm tiiime <3 <3 Happy Charm time in Evil Time! Usually better than bad mood Evil Time lol - at least for those around her#Still chaotic to be in it haha - but happy chaos is happy! Lol#Again more fun with eyes the light bounce in the one where she's holding the melt is so cute and looks so nice on my paper too <3#I had a silly comic idea for her for the next time I get into Red Eyes as well - if I remember lol#Big Love is hearts! It just makes sense#Also I am Really proud of the cleaning job I did on that last one lol - from original to this? Night and day ngl#Guess that goes to show how little cleaning I do on-page lol#For some I do! Others...#Still thinking up outfits - you can probably just make out ''Hero Charm'' in her hair lol trying to think around different themes#Something that could become something else! Add or subtract an element and it changes the ''meaning'' of the outfit#Kinda like her initial caped design that Kaiein rejected hmmm
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brothers :]
#my art#tails#sonic#sth#miles tails prower#sonic the hedgehog#man i’ve been working on this for like a week i’m not completely satisfied w it but like hell i’m working it any more!!#god i have 22 tracked hours on this. granted i def spent at least 7 of those with it open not doing anything#and i’m incredibly slow at drawing in general but especially since i don’t really have any experience drawing stuff like this#but still. i don’t want to draw it any more <3#i still can’t believe i finished this i usually draw shit in one 2-8 hour session then move on forever#drawing tails’ tails and chest fur was incredibly fun and soothing#fur is very fun to render#sonic is so hard to draw and i did not do myself any favours by putting him on a vivid blue background#whatever it’s done and i’m free to play as much salmon run or shth as i’d like!!#i am quite proud of this though
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Repostober Day 30 | October 30, 2008
The first episode of Wakfu premiered October 30, 2008! These are a few Wakfu pieces I drew in 2011.
#repostober#wakfu#goop draws#at least i *think* the grougaloragran and chibi was drawn in 2011... it wasn't dated unfortunately ^^; but 2011 would make sense#sadly i was so disappointed by the season 2 finale that i kind of never really looked back at wakfu#but it's got more seasons now and an english dub with some big-name actors? haha idk maybe i should give it a chance again#it's not like i even fully understood the finale anyway--i watched it raw in french on the france 3 site when it aired and idk french ^^;#sad that apparently there's nothing new about nora? 'islands of wakfu' really got to me evidently...#and while a lot of the anatomy is super whack on these pieces i am proud of myself for attempting a bg in that one with nora and the tofu!
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after spending the last week very stressed out and losing sleep over how much i regretted giving my number to a stranger, and after talking to several friends who all gave me the same very wise advice ("decide first what YOU want out of this and make decisions based on that" sounds obvious now but honestly blew my mind), i saw food truck man again today and he asked me if i have a boyfriend, told me he's all alone, hugged me twice, and tried to kiss me. i texted him after to be like just to be clear, i don't want a boyfriend, but i hope you find somebody! and he texted me back: i don't need a girlfriend. i'm married.
#AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA#i was actually so upset after he tried to kiss me. technically he did kiss me but not on the mouth because i would not turn my head lol#but i was like you know what i am an adult and i am going to be soooo mature right now. watch how mature i can be#and sent him this text#and then got that response and honestly now i feel a lot better about everything?? for some reason#i am not really understanding all of my reactions to this situation i need some time to process#but ultimately i have learned some new things about myself (or i probably will once i have processed lol)#and i'm actually quite proud of that text because i could have psyched myself out too much to send it#which i think would have just made me continue to be stressed about this#but i didn't!! i wrote it and i sent it and i didn't overthink it. yay me#sorry 2 everyone who wanted me to have a sexy time but it turns out i did not want to have a sexy time!#and i decided to take some advice that i should only do things i want to do <3 thank you to all my wise friends#it is a work in progress because he asked if he could hug me and i didn't really want to do that but i said okay#baby steps! working on it!#i feel insane though because i usually have a much easier time saying no than most people i know#so i don't know what's happening. it's because i gave him my number. i felt like by doing that i had consented to other things#but i hadn't. and even if i had i can withdraw consent at any time. yes. i do know this
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For dinner I made a ceasar salad, steak, and baked potatoes with butter, sour cream, chives, and rosemary asiago cheese. And for dessert I made cream puffs with raspberry whipped cream from scratch.
#me#food#tw ed talk in tags#there was a time when i was surviving off of cigarettes and one meal a day#so the fact that im currently eating 2-3 well rounded meals and encorporating 30 minutes- an hour of movement 6 days a week#is really something that im proud of#im doing what makes my body and mind happy and not punishing myself for sustaining my body#and i actually am starting to genuinely love myself#fucking wild#also im a really good cook/baker
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I saw big man's frostfest outfit and had to draw it under any and all circumstances so woe fish man be upon ye
I am not bothering to remove petch from this btw.
Closeup of his face + dumb notes under the cut
I was really struggling to draw this, not because it was difficult to draw, no, but because i kept giggling and kicking my feet at the way i drew his expression
It was like playing a stealth game irl because i worked on parts of it in front of my family and no way in hell am i telling them that I'm giggling and blushing because of some manta man design that i made for gay paint fortnite
#I'm really proud of the whole everything here#i made him so handsome... im so proud of myself#my favorite flat fuck ever <3#big man splatoon#digital art#patchy draws#splatoon frosty fest#he's so fancy!!!!#drawing him in tight pants was fun for very normal reasons btw. i am very normal. super normal.#chewing on him like a marshmallow#i mean what?? who said that#i think i keep making his head fins(?? ears?? they're the thingys. yk.) steadily longer#eventually he's gonna look like an entire bunny
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Chaos, chaos!! 🌠
#I am so immensely proud of myself when it comes to this picture if I'm being honest#I just feel like it's way over my skill level and like I improved a ton while working on it#I hope y'all like it just as much as I do!!! :3#I really wanted to draw Demonlight because I think her design is cool... With like.... The 'demonic' horns and stuff!!#I'm so happy 🌟🔥✨#my crown in red#mcir#furry art#furry oc#fursona#anthro#feline#original character#original story#digital art#feder's art pile#demonsoul#demonlight
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