#i am an alison humphrey apologist | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

terrainofheartfelt · 1 year

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OH, OH, LIZ!!! any alison and dan hcs? both before and after she left?

stars I think you just get a kick out of putting me in my FEELINGS

(before we get too far along might I direct everyone to S's alison fic because it is IMPORTANT to me <333)

I think dan was a complete mama's boy in the beginning. rufus was still with the band when he was born so during his first few years alison was the parent who was always around. there's that throwaway line in one of the early season where rufus says he had to walk dan to school every day when he was seven -- I think two things happened then: 1) rufus had quit touring because he realized he was missing his kids growing up and 2) that age would have also been when jenny was going to school for an entire day, so that is when alison decided to go back to school, and so she was not around as much as she used to be, and dan was adjusting to that.

that big, oversized brown armchair in the loft living room? that was mom's chair, that's where she would curl up and sketch and listen to records in the evenings, and tiny dan would sit on her lap. she taught him how to read in that chair.

before rufus bought the gallery (with its attached studio space), alison did a lot of painting on the roof. it was a good place for the kids to paint too because making a mess didn't matter.

when the humphreys did buy the gallery and she moved into the studio upstairs, she still had the kids over there to make messes. that one scene in the princess diaries where they throw darts at water balloons that are full of paint? the humphreys soooooooo did that.

nads has put this in a fic and got me thinking about it, but I love the idea of bby dan being his mom's assistant, and taking pride in that, he loved helping her out with stuff.

both alison and rufus were big on letting their kids find their art and feeding it. alison was the first to clock that dan loved storytelling, so when he gravitated to writing she wasn't surprised. In middle school when he told his highschool/college prep counselor he wanted to be a writer, and she told him he should get an education degree instead. dan vented to his mom about it and she got so pissed she started researching prep schools that would make him more competitive in getting into college. and that's how the transfer to st jude's began.

after she left dan was cold for a WHILE. I rewatched the ep where she comes back just the other day and it always kills me how he tears into her because jenny needs her and dad needs her, but he never says what he needs (the eldest daughter jumped out), he tries for a long time not to need her, and finds out he doesn't really. (but, as I've said, the realization that he doesn't need her is one of the things that fuels her leaving. her baby is grown and who is she if she isn't a mom? she runs away to try and find that out)

so the show says dan actually spent his spring break in s1 hanging out with his mom, and jenny is taken to aspen with one of minions so it really is JUST them. so...I have to imagine that there was some sort of detente happening there.

And, canon says she stays the summer looking after the kids while rufus is touring, and I imagine that's the first prolonged time that they have to spend together, and dan is reeling from his breakup and so much has happened since she left that he doesn't really know how to be around her, and nothing is completely fixed by the end of the summer, but it's not as broken as it felt before. (it'll be a while before they find their footing, but this time is what really saves their relationship when things get tough later).

and then he and jenny go to hudson for christmas after jenny has been THROUGH it so she needs Mom more than he does and so dan the eldest daughter sort of just...lets that happen (even though he's broken up with serena like. two more times since he last saw his mom)

and then rufus and lily become a couple and that's AWKWARD bc the kids both really like lily but they know alison doesn't and once again dan doesn't know how to just talk to his mom. he used to have the easiest relationship with her and now he doesn't know what he can or can't say.

dan graduates from high school, and alison's ex-husband is dating his ex rock and roll sweetheart and her ex nemesis, but it's her son's graduation so she still goes, but sits in the back and leaves shortly after the ceremony.

the humphreys kick it in the hamptons at cece's house, but they spend a few days with their mom in hudson, and that's when she properly celebrates dan's graduation. but her kids have an impending rich stepmom, and like how vanessa reacts to the cash and the designer wallet and the hamptons summer plans alison feels WEIRD about it, but unlike vanessa she is not compelled to speak up because what could she even say?

dan we know goes to his mom's for christmas that year, and he's mopey about vanessa and jenny's further from him than ever and his dad just peaced out to telluride with the band? without lily? there was a time when he could talk through ANYTHING with his mom but he has no idea how to get back to that, and alison is too careful around dan now, so she never pushes anymore, but he keeps waiting for her to push :/

and then...the second half of s3 happens, and dan probably says something off hand about visiting jen after she settles in, but the whole summer passes and ~radio silence~ alison worries, but jenny needs her more right now, and she's focused on her.

this is the thing I WONDER about. how does alison hear the milo story? how does jenny? who tells them? certainly not dan. I would bet rufus gives her a call after it's all over, it happens to rufus so fast he probably hadn't worked out what alison did or didn't know until after georgina takes milo away, and then Dan is going through something COMPLETELY different.

interestingly enough, s4 is the first time dan doesn't see his mom at christmas. he decides to stay in new york. alone. maybe he's giving jenny space again? I like to think that alison takes jenny on a trip to florida to visit dan & jen's grandmother, so dan declines because, florida. but maybe also to avoid an interrogation about his summer as a teenage dad? all of 4a is basically about dan denying his grief, and if he had to tell his mom about it, he wouldn't be able to deny it anymore.

in the gap between s4 & s5, dan goes back to hudson mainly to help jenny pack to move to london. and once again, he can hide behind his sister pulling the attention, and mask all he's going through.

he sends her a copy of Inside, and she understands his work well enough not to take the off-handed, one-dimensional portrayal of Amy Hunter personally.

and since we all know canon ends 5 minutes into season 5 episode 22...let's go from there.

Jenny meets Dair the Couple before alison, they stop in in london on their way back from rome. when dan tells alison about his gf, alison calls jenny for the real scoop. jenny doesn't lie, but she tells alison that she should make up her own mind.

but, alison and blair are into like, many similar things. alison loves hitchcock, and art history, and debating the merits of the academy awards, so she starts to like blair almost in spite herself.

and it's that, combined with dan feeling settled in his life for the first time since she left, that lets them really connect again. it's gradual, at first, and never the same as it was, but he's comfortable telling her things now, and she's comfortable asking.

(the only thing they don't talk about is Dan's brother Scott, because that would just be rude. not that alison's the type to hate a kid for existing - she likes serena and eric as people after all, but it's just toooo awkward for all parties involved)

i waffle back and forth on this idea: alison goes back to her maiden name, because she doesn't want to share the same last name as lily. OR, on the other hand, she stubbornly holds on to humphrey even after lily marries rufus, because that's her kids' name damnit, and if it makes lily mad, that's just a bonus.

I don't think alison ever remarries. i think getting married sooo young and losing herself in that keeps her from ever wanting to do it again. (like this alex dude, i think he proposes and she says no). she gives jenny a speech once while she's living in hudson about not getting married too soon and staying in charge of her destiny (which jenny was already gonna but), but she knows that in this respect dan is too like his father to listen. her boy was destined to be a WIFE yk?

thanksgivings belong to the van der humphreys, but alison gets some event around the winter & summer holidays, usually planned around whenever jenny and her partner are in town.

alison makes all sorts of things for dan's babies when they're born (pettily she thinks she can't top lily's resources), but she makes print illustrations to hand and knits blankets and does those sorts of things.

she doesn't go to every book launch, but she's always at her local indie shop on dan's release days to buy a copy, even though he always sends her one anyway.

alison and harold and roman are besties. eleanor is team lily always and forever. but harold and roman find daniel's mother adorable, and she's a treat to talk to about art, even if her taste is, unfortunately, a lot like her son's. too modernist.

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terrainofheartfelt · 2 years

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how do you think alison would feel about blair (in a dan-is-dating-blair sense)? I think it would be funny if she absolutely loved he. Bbecause blair knows how to play a part but also alison would be like yes, she did terrorize my daughter, but she’s not Lily’s so…

oh this is a GREAT question

starting out, all of alison's intel about blair is definitely from jenny, so she would have that reaction of "that blair waldorf?" and she would be distrustful on jenny's behalf, but that conflicts with her really wanting to connect with dan and have him share his life with her. because since she left and he got mad at her for it, she tries painfully hard not to say anything that might push him even further away. because dan delivers the news with a very practiced air that says he doesn't much care what his mom thinks, but he actually does care very much what alison thinks. and he always will on some level. so alison is coming at the situation a little conflicted, she wants to be in her daughter's corner, but she wants to be in her son's too.

I imagine - once past the initial awkwardness - alison would like blair almost in spite of herself. alison isn't really all that excited about Society People to begin with, but blair when she's at her truest has this brash kind of brusque-ness to her that alison would find charming (and like we KNOW dan finds it charming already). blair could keep up too, alison is an artist and a film buff so they would have at least one thing in common even though neither of them would even expect it.

I can see dan and blair getting into one of their debates over the kitchen table in hudson, and alison knows exactly what they're talking about, and she goes, "sorry, sweets, I have to agree with blair on this one." and she's In.

and alison would see, too, how brighter dan is with blair, how blair brings him into focus. alison knows her shy, sweet boy, how he's always been happy drawing into himself, but blair can pull him into the present in a way that no other partner alison's seen him with can, not serena, not even vanessa. I think once she sees that, how good blair is for dan, how good to him blair is, alison would approve.

#I do wonder if alison did dislike serena though #they interacted for like .2 seconds but I think alison would be pretty chill with serena and eric #bc she may hate lily but that's not lily's kids' fault #and she probs has a soft spot for eric bc eric IS jenny's best friend #maybe she is less a fan of serena as the years go by. in like a protective mom sort of way.#i am an alison humphrey apologist #asks #anon #gg hcs

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terrainofheartfelt · 2 years

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the lovely @windowsandfeelings tagged me to share a snippet of a something, so have some Humphrey family shenanigans:

“Like I said,” Jen strides over to where the garment bag hangs, “high fashion people are never off the clock.”

“At least that means if there’s a wardrobe malfunction, we’ll have two teams: one to fix it and one to report it,” Dan quips.

Alison laughs. Jenny, now mostly obscured by the shelving unit holding the family record collection, peeks around to check before covertly flipping Dan off.

“Aunt Jenny, that’s another dollar you owe me,” Milo announces, now wearing his shoes, right down to the messily tied laces.

Alison laughs even louder, Dan joining her.

“Your dad will cover me,” Jen says, “consider it my fee for today.”

“And here I thought this was a favor you were doing. On this, the day of your brother’s wedding,” Dan slips into an exaggerated Don Corleone, gesturing for effect.

“Nah, I’m just charging everything to your wife,” she shoots back.

He narrows his eyes, face growing hot. He really doesn’t have a comeback for that one.

Passing the baton to @strideofpride & @mysteriesofloves 💞💞💞💞💞

#thank you for tagging me!!!! 💗💗💗#the more time I spend on this lil work the more excited I get to share it #liz shouting about her fic writing progress into the void #it’s got everything: dair. jenny & milo dynamic duo #jenny being The Most little sister #critical levels of sappiness #milo humphrey my beloved #i am an alison humphrey apologist

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terrainofheartfelt · 2 years

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I apologize if this is already something you’ve discussed here, I’m just a little new to this corner of the fandom and it’s something I’m legitimately curious about. Why do a lot of Dair writers like Alison Humphrey? The way I remember the character was that she abandoned her teenage children to “find herself”, had to be dragged back to Brooklyn by her 14 year old daughter to face them at all, wasn’t very nice or supportive of them while she was there, and then left again to never return. The only time she came up after that was when Jenny was “banished” and decided to go live with her. But for Dan, at least, it always seemed to me like she completely emotionally abandoned him. Dan never referenced talking to her or visiting her that I can recall, and she wasn’t there for his really big moments like graduation or starting college or having a son or even releasing a book, which was his lifelong dream. She didn’t show up for his wedding either, which made me think they were outright estranged. I realize that in real life this might have been because of scheduling conflicts with the actress, but in universe I always felt like Alison did not care about Dan at all, not in any way that really mattered. So that’s all to say, I’m curious what about the character appealed to you, and why you saw their relationship differently? I’ll fully admit I don’t remember everything that happened on the show, so I’m wondering if there are other nuances to the character I might have forgotten or overlooked? (Also sorry this got super long, no pressure to respond immediately! I love your blog and I really am just curious about your thoughts on this!)

hello! first of all, thank you so much! I appreciate you taking the time to send this ask!

I tried hunting through my blog to find more references to me talking about this, but you know how the tumblr search function is, and I apparently really should start just, you know, tagging character names. I'm a librarian I should be better at the organizational aspects of tumblr...anyways! I found some links to meta/hcs I've written on the subject before if you want to check em out: here, here, and here.

the way my brain works with stories, is that when there's something dissatisfying, or there's a build up or set up to what should be a major plot or major character going forward only for it to just be dropped like a hot potato (something GG does a lot), I can't let it go, and in this fandom where I've taken up fic writing and headcanoning with a vengeance, I have to construct something around it to make it makes sense to me and to make it into something that feels right to the story and characters I'm interpreting and want to tell.

and Alison Humphrey is one of those characters. I'll admit that I am something of an Alison Humphrey Apologist - actually I feel like my opinion is in the minority of this corner of the fandom. idk with any certainty if that's true, but my observation is is that my stance is more lenient on who she is, but that impression was formed in my entrance into this obsession, and the clubhouse has certainly changed since I joined this corner!

so what captured my imagination about Alison is that steep drop off of her character. we obviously know she's significant - she's Jenny and Dan's mother and Rufus' first wife and second love, but after a few episodes in s1, we never see her again, there are gaps, and I want to fill them!

to answer part of your question - dan alludes to visiting his mom on holidays and school breaks a few times - he spends spring break in s1 with her, xmas in s3, and in the summer between s1 & 2 she moves in to the loft to look after Dan and Jenny while Rufus goes on tour. so...there's not a lot, but there's some stuff there

and what's also so compelling is that in that handful of episodes, we get just enough to build an impression of the kind of wife and mother Alison was before she left, and some key lines that I cannot ever stop thinking about. The first that springs to mind is her and Jenny during the cotillion episode. Jen ditches her mom's art show to go, and Alison holds her accountable after with the line: As you grow older, every choice that you make defines who you're gonna turn into. So rather than apologizing to me, you need to look at yourself and ask if you like the person you're becoming. it's very introspective and astute advice, imo. and then, dialing back an episode or two to when she comes back, Dan holds her to task for leaving, and tellingly only mentions how much Jenny and Rufus need Alison, but not him, which breaks my heart on multiple levels, and she's properly chastened for it, and keeps working after that confrontation to make amends. and all this has me infer that Alison was a very good parent, right up until she wasn't.

and the part that makes me crazaayyyy is a few scenes later in that Alison Returns episode, during the conversation she has with Rufus when they finally have a chance to candidly talk, she admits fault and cops to making mistakes, but she tells him that towards the beginning of their marriage when he was still all about his music, she supported him, and put her art to the side to support him and to take care of their growing family. "My entire adult life has been about you," she says.

and that line just...Hits for me, because it touches on this thing that can happen to women within their marriages and relationships -- especially in Alison's generation, I think generations after it's been happening less and less -- but when they had kids and got married and moved into this loft in Brooklyn, Alison was the one who virtually gave up her art for years, she gave herself and her identity over to being a wife and mom, and then after 16 years, she looked up and realized that she didn't know who she was anymore, because her identity and sense of self was so reliant on taking care of other people. and she freaked out, and self-sabotaged. And maybe the timing isn't so random, at 16 & 14, Dan and Jenny are becoming their own people, with more and more independence, and she thinks that -- while Dan insists rightfully that they still need her -- she feels less needed by them, and her days for the first time in almost two decades are blank slates, and when was even the last time she picked up a brush? she can't remember.

And, I gotta point out that Alison & Rufus & Lily were all such YOUNG parents, like early early 20s kind of parents. so that time when you're supposed to be figuring yourself out, who you are and who you want to be, she already had a husband and a baby to take care of. like, I'm in the back half of my 20s and cannot even imagine that kind of commitment and pressure.

So, while I don't agree with her methods of coping with this identity crisis, I can understand why it happened. and so I tend to err on giving her more grace. And, idk, I just...don't like that someone who should be so significant is shunted to the side...it kind of makes me think of that Gilmore Girls meta that's floating around right now, op very cleverly and artfully writes about Christopher's character, and instead of him serving the narrative as Rory's dad, he's primarily always functioning as Lorelai's love interest, and that's kind of how this other GG treated Alison. she was the wedge between Rufus and Lily getting back together, a complication to their romance, and her narrative function as the mom of two of the main characters was treated as secondary to that.

I don't know that I would equate Alison to Christopher, but then again, I am a self-described Alison Apologist, but for me, I like to envision a world where Alison keeps working to make right with Dan, because I just...don't accept that she wouldn't be there for him, whether or not he'd let her be. so...she always creeps into my fics because I just - want to fix it! and I can see multiple avenues for her and Dan to repair their relationship...which is why in my aus, she gives Dan a place to be outside of NYC, and he appreciates having that place to retreat to.

and, while we're here, allow me to rec a couple truly stellar Alison-centric fics: @mrs-nate-humphrey's it's not the end (it's an uncomfortable pause) & @strideofpride's small town predicts my fate

#asks #anon #ty for sending!#and there is never any need to apologize for long posts here at terrainofheartfelt dot tumblr dot com #i am many things but sparse with words is not one of them #gg meta #alison humphrey #<- now's as good a time as any to start tagging I suppose

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